Chapter Twenty-two: Breadcrumbs

The door to Chris and Carl's 'hideout' on the Cardassian cruiser slides open, startling Chris awake for the second time. Sitting up, he growls and swings a closed fist against the back of the couch.

Carl raises an eyebrow as the door closes behind him. "Another bad dream?"

"Yeah," Chris grumbles and closes his eyes.

"Do you want to… talk about it?" Carl asks in an awkward display of sympathy.

"No." Chris clasps his hands behind his bowed head and presses his elbows towards each other. "Just… give me a minute."

Carl sets his weapon on the desk and watches Chris silently battle inner demons. Not a year ago, Carl wouldn't concern himself with the plight of a solid, but Chris' combadge, and the people on the other end of it, are critical to any chance of saving his people. Sharing Odo's experiences in the Great Link has made him consider solids like Chris, as opposed to the vengeful Cardassians, with a new perspective. He's beginning to understand how Odo came to consider some of them friends.

After Chris fails to move or speak for several moments, Carl decides to break the silence. "Did your latest dream involve the colonel?"

"Yes, and I seriously don't want to talk about it."

"Did you perish in this dream as well?"

After a delay, Chris acknowledges Carl's presumption softly. "Yes."

Carl observes Chris' body language closely and decides not to prod further. He gives Chris a few more minutes of peace.

"I don't mean to pry," Carl begins after Chris fails to emerge from his thoughts, "but I find it curious that you have such strong interest in someone you don't even claim as a friend."

Chris lowers his arms and looks up at Carl. "Excuse me?"

"You mentioned earlier that you don't feel you have any friends in this time."

"Well… I don't. Not really," Chris runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "As for her… I can't explain it. Sometimes you just… feel things."

"Hmm. Emotions and relationships are much simpler for my kind."

"Oh yeah?"

Carl shrugs. "We share our entire being with one another in the Great Link. There's no longing, no want, no torment—we exist in contentment."

"Longing, want, torment…" Chris sighs. "That pretty much sums it up."

"Remember who you're talking to," Carl grins. "I spoke those words with purpose."

"Oh, right… the not-quite-a-psychologist." Chris rolls his eyes. "Is this the part where you tell me to forget about her and get on with my life? You know… the few hours I have left of it?"

"Your optimism astounds," Carl quips as he takes a seat in one of the armchairs in the room. "Actually, I'm less puzzled by your behavior than hers. Having shared Odo's thoughts, I don't understand what she clings to. His departure from her was understood to be permanent."

"Sometimes… we solids lie to ourselves."

"I see," Carl nods. "Dishonesty is very rare among my kind—to each other at least. Our inherent disclosure makes 'lying to one's self' an exceptionally peculiar notion."

"Yeah, well… I've been telling myself that we're going to get out of here alive and she'll eventually realize he's not coming back. It's a load of crap."

"I believe you underestimate our chances of survival," Carl says as he reclines in his chair and crosses his arms, "but there's not much we can do now but wait. Perhaps you could tell me more about the time and place you've come from."

"Sure. Why not." Chris leans back on the couch after grabbing the last brownie from the table. "It's not like we can go for a walk."

Nog's eyes repeatedly and impulsively glance to his right. Kira has been hovering over his shoulder for the past few minutes and he is acutely aware of her presence. He's been attempting to find the cloaked Cardassian cruiser ever since they came through the wormhole, but his efforts are yet to be met with any success. The colonel's occasional sighs aren't helping.

"Huh…," a voice utters from the pair's left. "There is it again."

"There's what again?" Kira asks, turning to the source. "And… who are you?"

"Ensign Timms, sir," the young woman eeks out from the science station in response to sudden attention. "I think the maintenance team must've done something to my console. I've been reading faint polaron pulses, about five minutes apart, but they seem to be coming from nothing."

Kira blinks in amazement. "Ensign… you do realize we're looking for a cloaked vessel, right? How long have you been reading these pulses?"

The ensign shrinks in her chair. "For approximately 25 minutes, sir."

"Dax?" Kira groans and makes a half pointing, half shooing gesture at the ensign. "Would you please?"

Ezri trots across the bridge and flashes an apologetic smile at Timms as the ensign vacates her post. "It's nothing personal."

"What do you make of it?" Kira shifts from behind Nog's chair and anxiously hovers behind Dax.

"Kira," Ezri expresses mild annoyance. "I just sat down."

"Fine." Kira spins and walks a tight circle between the science station and the captain's chair, coming right back to hover again. "Well?"

Ezri rolls her eyes. "Timms is correct. Sensor logs show faint polaron pulses every five minutes."

"What would cause that?"

Ezri shrugs. "Some races use polaron beams as their primary weapons, including the Jem'Hadar, but polaron sweeps can also be used to, let's say… find a shuttle hiding in an asteroid field."

"Are we picking up artifacts of the Jem'Hadar's search for the cruiser?"

"I don't think so," Ezri cocks her head and leans closer to the display. "The pulses are too faint and the interval too great to be effective as a scan. It's also strange for it to be so regular. Let me check something…"

"The ensign couldn't identify a source; do you think there's a chance…?"

"Yes!" Ezri turns to Kira in excitement. "It could be them! The movement of the pulse's origin is roughly consistent with what we know of the cruiser's speed, assumed course, and time of departure."

Kira clasps her hands together and presses them against her lips as she stares at the console. "Is there any way to confirm it?"

Ezri shakes her head. "I… I don't know that we can without getting closer. Even then, given their cloak…"

"We're going to find out," Kira nods. "If you can determine the course of that pulse, we can intercept it. Feed the speed and bearing to the helm once you have it."

"Aye, sir."

"Nog, I think you're off the hook, unless…" Kira eyes the lieutenant. "Is the cloaking device fully operational? If we have a failure and spook the Cardassians we won't get another shot."

Nog nods with relief. "All work on the cloak was completed before we left. It's ready when you need it, sir."

Kira pats Nog's shoulder. "Engage the cloaking device; let's go see what we've got."

Turning to the young ensign, Kira does her best to shroud her disappointment. "Return to your post, Timms, and be sure to report anything out of the ordinary from now on."

"Aye, sir."

"Should we notify the Vorta?" Ezri says as she returns to her original post. "They'll surely know we've cloaked."

Kira takes her seat at the captain's chair and stares at the screen. "Just tell them we're investigating a 'suspicious anomaly' and that we'll update them soon."

"Yes, sir." Ezri nods.

"Do you have an intercept course yet, Matthews?" Kira asks the helm.

"I do, sir."

"Engage."

Carl sets a tray of chocolate chip cookies on the table in front of Chris. "I believe these, much like your last request, are meant to be consumed in moderation."

Chris takes a healthy bite of a delicious, soft cookie. "Oh my god; these are amazing," he says as he chews. "And yeah, I'm totally not behaving myself. But… you know… some people eat when they're upset. I may only have a few hours left to enjoy things like this, so… whatever."

Carl squints at Chris. "From what you've told me about your previous physical state, I believe you must have been frequently upset before you were brought to this time."

"Ever heard of a divorce, Carl?"

"I'm not picking up a vessel, sir," Nog reports, "but we should be tracking 10,000 kilometers behind the source of the pulse."

"It's got to be them," Kira leans forward in her chair. "Wait for the next pulse to get a better fix on their position, then close to within combadge range."

"Do you think Chris has anything to do with the pulses?" Ezri asks.

Kira shakes her head. "I highly doubt it, but I still plan to see if he answers."

"If?"

Kira answers with a guilty glance.

"Sir, we should be within combadge range now," Matthews reports.

"Open a channel."

Carl looks perplexed. "They… drop a… 'ball'?"

Chris leans forward to grab another cookie. "It's purely symbolic; they don't really 'drop' it. It's some insanely intricate gizmo they lower down a post on top of a building in the middle of an enormous crowd of people."

"Fascinating," Carl blinks.

Chris mumbles with a full mouth. "I think it's stupid. I mean… who cares if…"

The combadge on Chris' shirt comes to life. "Defiant to Chris. Are you there, Chris?"

Chris is completely stunned. He swallows his bite of cookie and blinks. He's not sure if the voice he just heard was real or imagined.

Kira's voice emanates from his combadge again. "Defiant to Chris. Are you receiving?"

Carl taps on the table. "Chris, your colonel has found us. Answer them."

Chris takes a deep breath and blows it out, trying to hold back a swell of emotion at being found. He'd practically accepted the fact that he and Carl would either be found by the Dominion, who would destroy the ship on sight, or reach the Founder homeworld and witness genocide before being discovered by the Cardassians and killed. He'd been dwelling on Kim's demise and other ways the crew might kill an intruder—most of them slow and painful. Being found by the Defiant doesn't guarantee that either of them will leave this ship alive, but the odds are no longer impossible. That fact, plus the mere sound of the woman's voice he thought he'd never see again, is proving hard for him to handle.

Chris taps his combadge and hesitates. He wants to blurt out how he feels about Kira: that he loves her and doesn't give a damn if the whole crew of the Defiant knows it. He may not get another chance to express it and, though his fondness of her is no secret, he's never said the words.

"I…" Chris pauses. "I am so happy to hear your voice, Kira."

"I'm happy to hear yours too, Chris," Kira says with genuine excitement.

Chris wasn't able to say the words he'd wanted to, but it's true: he's extremely happy to hear Nerys' voice—so happy that his own voice escapes him and his eyes well up. Chris buries his face in his hands, embarrassed by the display of emotion in front of Carl.

"Are you still there, Chris?"

"Yeah," Chris sniffles and speaks to his palms. "I just… I didn't think you were going to find us."

"Us?" Kira is blindsided by the plural reference. "Chris… who is us?"

"There's a Founder with me. However you found us, you can thank…"

"A Founder?" Kira is shocked.

"I uh… I screwed up. I screwed up bad. A Cardassian had me dead in his sights. Carl got him first."

"Carl? You met a Founder named Carl?"

"They don't have names, so… I gave him one. He doesn't seem to mind it."

Carl grins and shakes his head subtly to affirm Chris' statement.

"We've been worried about you," Kira says. "We… we can't thank Carl enough."

"He did whatever it was that let you find us. Messed with the cloak or something?"

Carl joins the conversation. "Colonel Kira, I am… Carl. My alteration of the ship's sensor array is no longer relevant, but we do need to discuss the matter of this vessel's cargo—and our possible extraction."

"Very happy to meet you, Carl," Kira says genuinely. "There's nothing 'possible' about it. We'll lock onto Chris' combadge and beam the two of you aboard. A couple of quantum torpedoes should take care of the cargo."

"It's not quite that simple, colonel," Carl answers Kira's enthusiasm with a muted tone. "The Cardassians have, as Chris put it, converted this ship into a 'flying prison'. The most pertinent modification is the addition of a secondary deflector grid. Transport is impossible, even with the cloak engaged."

"What?" Kira is astonished. "Why would they go to such trouble?"

"As you are aware, the Obsidian Order's past attempt against the Founders failed due to infiltration by my people. They hoped none of my kind would board this vessel, but they took many precautions in the event any of us did. They wanted to ensure that none of my kind would be able to interfere with the mission, disembark, or otherwise send a warning."

"Damn," Kira mutters.

"You are aware of the purpose of this vessel, correct?" Carl asks.

"I am," Kira sighs, realizing that Carl is alluding to the threat to every Founder in the Great Link. "And our analysis shows that the ship you're on only needs to enter your homeworld's atmosphere to combine and disperse the bioweapon."

"Then the only course of action you have is to attack the ship. Our extraction will only be possible once the shields collapse."

"With the two of you on board? If they've bolstered their shields, not only might you be injured, but there's a chance we'll tear the ship apart before they go down."

"We understand the risk," Carl affirms.

"Chris?" Kira asks anxiously. "Do you understand what the Founder is suggesting?"

Chris has been fixated on Kira's voice, trying hard to commit every tone and inflection to memory. He blinks at the mention of his name. "Uh… yeah. Carl and I talked about it for hours. Wearing down the shields is the only way."

Kira takes a deep breath. She knew there was a possibility that she'd be faced with this situation. Finding it's the only option doesn't make it any easier to give the order to open fire.

Kira blows her breath out and sighs. "All right, you two. Targeting a cloaked ship is a bit more difficult than getting into comm range. It may take some time before we can do this. Sit tight for now. And Chris…?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll see you soon."

Still compelled to share his feelings, Chris again loses his fight to conjure the words. "I… look forward to it."

Kira props an elbow on her armrest and rests her forehead on her hand. "Nog, work with Timms and make sure we have a solid fix on their position. Wait for as many polaron pulses as it takes to get a good target."

"But, sir…" Nog objects to firing blind.

Kira lifts her head and points with the open hand she'd been leaning on. "I know this is difficult, lieutenant. I'm not expecting you to drop their shields in one volley, but we need them to believe we know exactly where they are. If we miss… they could change course or disable the pulses we're relying on to track them. Understood?"

"Understood, sir."

"If we're convincing enough, they should drop out of warp and decloak to raise their primary shields and return fire. Once that happens, I need you to find the weakest point of their shields and hit it with all the phaser power we can muster… no torpedoes. We don't want to rattle them any more than absolutely necessary."

"Aye, sir."

"Let me know when you have a firing solution."

"On it, sir." Nog turns to Timms and they get to work.

Kira turns to the main viewer and stares intently at the seemingly empty space before them. She feels a guilty excitement that they're preparing to rain destruction upon a ship bringing doom to Odo. At the same time, she can't shake the image of a helpless Chris being beamed from the cargo bay on Deep Space Nine.

"Kira," Ezri calls softly from her station, looking distraught. "I'd like you to take a look at something."

Kira pulls herself from her thoughts. "What is it, lieutenant?"

"Can you come here for a minute?"

Kira can't quite read Ezri's expression, but it proves compelling. She stands and takes the short few steps to Ezri's station.

"Now…" Ezri whispers, "I know this is an invasion of privacy, but since you raised the question about whether the Founder could be manipulating the situation somehow, I… kept monitoring Chris' combadge."

"And?" Kira grows concerned given Ezri's demeanor, "Is he OK?"

Ezri hands an earpiece to Kira. "Listen."

Kira puts on the earpiece and Ezri taps her panel. Chris' is the first voice Kira hears in the recording.

"Jesus," Chris begins. "Why am I such a coward?"

"What do you mean?" Carl responds.

"I tried twice to tell her I love her—I couldn't do it. I don't want to die with her not knowing."

Kira closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"There's no certainty we're going to die," Carl replies. "Besides, she already knows."

"How do you know?"

"For one, she was very pleased to hear you."

"She found the ship," Chris sounds frustrated. "Now she can save Odo. Of course she's pleased."

The truth of Chris' statement prompts a pained expression of guilt from Kira.

"There was more to her tone than that," Carl argues.

"Oh, please… she freaking hates me, Carl."

"I believe your bad dreams are getting to you."

"Maybe… but it doesn't matter. She loves Odo; end of story."

"But he won't be returning to her."

"As long as he's alive… there's a chance he might. That's what she clings to. As for me, I'm some… misplaced relic. I don't 'fit' here. Feeling what I feel and… being in the way—I've been miserable." There's a pause as Chris sighs heavily. "I told you I died in the wormhole, right?"

"You did," Carl answers with concern.

"I don't like where this is going," Kira mutters quietly.

"I've been believing for the past few hours that I wasn't going to make it off this ship. Our odds really aren't that much better now," Chris says. "But you know what? If I know it means she'll be safe, and happy… I can accept it."

Ezri taps her panel, halting the playback.

Kira lets out a long breath as she drops the earpiece on Ezri's console. "Why'd you want me to hear this? This is hard enough as it is."

"Like he said," Ezri says as she stows the earpiece. "I thought you should know how he feels… just in case."

"The Founder's right, Ezri; I already know. Chris may not have said the words, but I got the message."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Do?" Kira says, frustrated. "There's nothing I can do."

"You could talk to him," Ezri puts a hand on Kira's arm. "Give him another chance to put his mind at ease."

Kira purses her lips and sighs heavily. She closes her eyes and nods subtly. "Alright, I'll talk to him. But he may not be any better off for it. I'm not going to lie."

Ezri nods. "Thank you."

"Dax has the conn," Kira says loudly. "Let me know if anything changes. Don't initiate the attack until I return."

A chorus of "yes, sir" echoes around the bridge.

Kira reaches the captain's ready room and takes a seat at the desk. She stares at the console for several moments before tapping the controls.

"Kira to Chris."

"Yeah?" Chris replies with surprise. "I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. Ready to start firing?"

"Not yet. I… I wanted to talk to you first. Are you alone?"

"Just a second; let me get to the other room." The sound gets muffled, as if Chris put his hand over his combadge. "I'll be in here for a few, Carl."

"Take all the time you need," is Carl's similarly muted reply.

After a short delay, Kira hears Chris take a deep breath. "OK, I'm alone. What's up?"

"How do I say this," Kira sighs. "We, uh… weren't sure if the Founder could be trusted. Ezri took it upon herself to listen in with your combadge after we spoke."

"Uh…" Chris is stunned. "I… uh… seriously?"

"I'm sorry, but we were worried. I'm still worried… because of what you said."

"Don't worry. I'm not, like… sui…"

"Chris, we're going to get you out of there. I prom…"

"Don't!" Chris says, suddenly assertive. "Please. I know you can't promise that. And I'm not the big picture here. Don't pretend I don't know that."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"I… I didn't mean to snap at you, Kira. I'm sorry."

"It's OK. We've been through a lot lately. I understand. Please… call me Nerys."

"I wanted to tell you earlier…" Chris' voice shakes. "But I'm having trouble saying it." He grunts in frustration.

Kira rests her forehead on her hand and speaks softly. "You don't have to say it."

"But how can I really mean it if I can't tell you?"

"Because… you don't want to not hear it back."

There's a long pause. After a sniffle, Chris replies. "I guess that's it." There's the sound of a long, shaky breath. "But… you know it, right?"

"I do, Chris. And I'm sorry for what you're going through, but… I'm not going to lie to you."

Chris sniffles again. "I appreciate that."

"It doesn't mean I don't care about you, or that I won't to do everything I can to get you back. We'll take every precaution to make sure we do. And don't think for one second that this is just because the Prophets asked me to look out for you." Kira pauses for a long breath. "Yes, you got under my skin. And yes, I got angry with you… but I do care about you, OK? We'll see each other again—very soon."

"I want that more than anything, Nerys."

"I know," Kira nods to her panel despite the lack of a visual. "Now… you and the Founder should get ready. It shouldn't be long now."

"OK," Chris replies as if preparing to sign off, but quickly continues. "Nerys?"

"Yes, Chris?"

"Thanks for talking to me. It means a lot. But… if things go south… please lie to me?"

"Just… hang in there, Chris."

Kira closes the channel and covers her eyes.

Chris sits on the edge of the bed, staring out at the stars. A light tapping sound gets his attention, but he wipes his face with his sleeve before turning to see Carl in the doorway.

"We must seem pretty silly to you most of the time, huh," Chris says.

"Quite the contrary," Carl says softly. "I told you we live in contentment. Despite our quest for order, there is beauty to be found among chaos. Your kind displays surprising strength to survive among it."

Chris huffs. "I feel pathetic."

"But you learned something."

"Just now? What exactly did I learn?"

"That she does care about you," Carl says and leans forward. "She didn't need to contact you again, but she did. She truly cares about your welfare."

Chris blinks as he considers Carl's assertion. A nod and a smile signal a pleased agreement. "That helps, Carl. Thanks."

"Oh, and something else…" Carl grins. "My people have excellent hearing."

Chris groans and flops back on the bed as Carl smiles and turns from the doorway.