So I asked for three reviews and I got them. Big thanks to patronousesandpotions, bookivore, and EternalVeritie you guys are really great. For anyone wondering when the future parts are set, go back to the first chapter. I mentioned how old Meg was and that she was Mandy's oldest daughter. Considering the fact we know Meg is pregnant during her final year of Hogwarts and she's the same year as the Marauders, you should be able to work out the year or close to it that the future parts are set. I'll give you this much, it's before the epilogue. Also as to Mandy's transformations affecting her pregnancy lets just say magic protects the baby from anything harming it.
Betas for this chapter are: LittleDrummerGirl2010 and Literatifan4eva. You guys are great.
Also thanks to Prongs Smitch for looking over this even though you didn't find anything wrong.
Chapter 15: What is Love?
It was the Saturday before Valentine's Day and a Hogsmeade visit. The weather was bright and clear, if a bit cold. Once again James and Lily spent the day together in Hogsmeade. As Lily spent the day with James, Mandy and Sirius also spent the day together. They sat on the hill near the Shrieking Shack for most of the morning, and when they got cold, they headed for the Three Broomsticks. Once inside, Sirius pulled out a chair and Mandy smiled then sat down.
"Thank you," Mandy grinned. Sirius sat down next to her and took her hand.
"You're practically glowing," Sirius said, tucking a strand of hair behind Mandy's ear.
"You're trying to charm me again, aren't you?"
"Maybe I'm just trying to flatter my girlfriend. I told you I love you. Can't I just express that from time to time?" Sirius asked. Mandy just stared at Sirius. "Or not." Sirius pulled away and stared down at the table. After a few moments he stood and walked to the bar, chatting up Madame Rosmerta.
Mandy looked down, feeling terrible. Though she loved it when he was very chivalrous, it reminded her that guys could still be sweet, it was different when he flattered her. It made her flashback to their past, where every compliment, every flattering word, was followed by an insult or mean taunt. As she thought back on the encounter a few seconds ago she realized she had been a bit mean to him. It wasn't fair for him to go on about how much he loved her or try to flatter her when Mandy couldn't say that she returned the feelings. Mandy really did like him, she just wasn't sure she loved him. To her, love was a scary thing she couldn't face. She didn't know why it was so hard for her to admit how she really felt but figured it was something to do with her parents spending a lot of time away when she was a kid. Either way, she just couldn't bring herself to admit how she really felt about Sirius. Mandy looked up from drawing circles on the table with her finger when someone sat down in Sirius's seat. Only it wasn't Sirius.
"Hello, Seeker," he said.
"Hello, Michael," Mandy answered. It was Michael Smithheart. Slytherin seeker and Mandy's ex-boyfriend. They had dated the previous year, until Michael told her that her heart had been set on another boy. They were still sorta friends after it happened, but things were a little awkward between them.
"I see the two of you are fighting again."
"Maybe I just don't like being flattered."
"Oh you do. You took it very well when I flattered you and charmed you. Very well indeed. It's just odd coming from him. I'm surprised to see you out and about this time."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mandy snapped.
"Only that you didn't come out here last time."
"Last time I got in trouble and McGonagall said my punishment was not going to Hogsmeade instead of serving detention, because detention obviously wasn't deterring me from what I did."
"Oh." Michael looked down at the table for a moment. He looked back up and tried to smile. It came out as more of a sad grimace. "You know, I do regret letting you go, but he makes you happy. Even if you can't see it. Try to let go of the past. Not everything he says is to get in your robes or is followed by an insult. He really fancies you—"
"How would you know that?" Mandy snapped.
"Because it's obvious to everyone who has been in love. I may not know Sirius the way you and your friends do but I can see it. Nearly any time he looks at you I can see it in his eyes. You need to accept how he feels about you. What's life without a little love?"
"It's just realizing that even though there have been ups and downs, Sirius hasn't broken up with me. Sure there was that thing at Halloween that caused a bump in the road, but other than that we've practically been together all year. It's difficult to understand why. He's never been with a girl this long behind."
"Like I said, he really fancies you. Did you know his parents wanted to set him up with you but were devastated when they realized that you and he hated each other?"
"They tried to marry me to Regulus." It was true. Just before Christmas in sixth year, Mandy's father Scott Hunter had sent her a letter stating that she was betrothed to Regulus as a deal he had made to the Blacks. It was only when his brother-in-law, Patrick Dixon, got involved and nearly beat Scott to a pulp that Scott relented and called it off.
"And it should have been Sirius. Then he landed himself in Gryffindor and disgraced the family. His parents weren't happy about that. When he ran away that was the final straw. They disowned him and they gave up hope of seeing you and him together. Then they realized they had another chance in his kid brother. You two could have been the next Lucius and Narcissa," Michael explained.
"We're nothing like the Malfoys. And Sirius can't stand his cousin," Mandy argued, knowing that Narcissa had been a Black before she had married Lucius under force. After two years, Narcissa had reportedly grown to love the man, but no one wanted to talk about that. They were a powerful couple, but it was mostly due to Lucius's father doing things in his son's name that brought the recognition onto the younger Malfoys.
"You two are a force to be reckoned with if you ever came up against someone you didn't like."
"Sirius is great and probably a competent dueler, but you want a force to be reckoned with, pair me up with James. Do you remember the start of the year? Must have been mid-October and my brother put me and James up against each other to duel in front of the class."
"You two went back and forth all class without either gaining ground. Professor Hunter had to call off the duel because each of you anticipated the other so well it defeated the point."
"What can I say; we're just in tune with each other."
"If I had to be honest, I think you love him more than you love Black," Michael said.
"Don't go there Mike. My love for each of them is very different," Mandy answered.
"Something you want, Smithheart?" Sirius asked, returning to the table with two mugs in his hands. Sirius didn't look happy but of course that was partially because Michael was his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.
"Nope," Michael answered standing up. He knew well enough not to start a fight with this boy. "Give him a chance," he whispered to Mandy before walking away.
Mandy sighed and Sirius sat back down. "I'm sorry," Mandy said. "You're being nice and I'm being nothing but a big pain—"
"I know, but you have an excuse. I brought you hot chocolate. I know how much you love it when Rosmerta makes it."
"Thank you." Mandy smiled and blushed a bit. It was really sweet. Both the hot chocolate and his actions. "Listen, I—"
"I know how you feel," Sirius said, scooting around the table and taking Mandy's hand in his and rested the other on her knee. "I know we've been over this before but I love you. I know you can't say that back, for whatever reason, but I will be here when you can."
"Why are you still with me? You've never stayed with a girl this long," Mandy said.
"I love you. I've fancied you since I—well probably as long as James had his eye on Lily. I've told you that before. Mandy, I love you. I never felt like this about any other girl before. When I looked at my future ... I don't want to scare you, but you asked for an explanation. When I saw my future there was never a specific girl in it. Now all I see is you and me. If that worries you, I'm sorry, but I'm just telling you how I feel."
"It does scare me. I mean, both pairs my parents lasted for years, same with De and Marco Potter and that should calm my fears about spending the rest of my life with a guy, but I barely saw my parents when I was a kid. I don't want to get involved with someone and end up spending more time working than being with him."
"Then we'll take it one day at a time," Sirius said, running his thumb across Mandy's knuckles. "I'm not rushing you into anything Mandy. I would never do that to you. One day at a time, okay?"
Mandy took a deep breath and nodded. Then James and Lily dropped down at their table, each with their own mug of Butterbeer.
"You guys ok?" James asked.
"I think so." Mandy nodded. "How do you know—?" Mandy looked down at her mug of cocoa that was going cold. She took a deep, long drink and then looked back at James. "How do you know if you're in love with someone?"
James looked at her and Lily swallowed. "Are you serious?" Lily asked. "Don't," she added holding up finger to Sirius cutting off the pun she knew he'd make. He only smirked.
Mandy took a deep breath then nodded. "Yeah. How do you know?"
"Listen to your heart. Your head can be screaming several different things at you but your heart's always going to tell you the right thing. Don't think about it," Lily said.
"Love is something your brain can't explain. It's something you just feel. When you love someone, you just know," James said.
"That doesn't help," Mandy said.
"You look at him and you can't see the rest of your life without him. That's how you know it's true love," James said.
"But how do you know?" Mandy pressed intently. She needed a better answer than that.
"Look at me, Mandy. What do you see between us in 10 years?" James asked.
"You're married, with a couple little ones running around in the yard, we're top named Aurors, I'm on the fast track to Minister for Magic, and you-know-who is gone," Mandy explained.
"Are we still friends?" James pressed.
"Of course."
"Why?" James asked, leaning towards Mandy intently.
"What kind of question is that?"
"Why are we still friends? Haven't we outgrown that? Wouldn't I be spending a lot of time as a husband and father and we've drifted apart?"
"I couldn't stand to lose you, James."
"Why not?"
"Because I love you." Mandy blurted.
"And that is how love feels. That's how you know. One day you wake up and when you look at your boy, it hits you like a stunner to the face. You'll just know. That's what love is." James said, passionately hoping he got through to Mandy.
Mandy finally nodded. That made a lot of sense. "Thanks James." Mandy took his hand and squeezed it. It finally clicked. When she looked up at Sirius he was watching her and though she felt a swooping sensation in her stomach and a peculiar, odd feeling about him, it didn't feel as strong as she felt about James. She liked Sirius well enough but she couldn't call it love.
They walked up to the castle as a group of four talking about their various dates and enjoying what was left of their afternoon together.
Bang! Mandy bolted upright and looked around her barely lit dormitory. Another loud thud echoed through the silence and Mandy's eyes focused on the window between hers and Lily's beds. The window there had somehow become unlatched and was slamming against the stone wall. Mandy looked around at her roommates and saw the curtains were drawn around all the beds and there wasn't a sound except for the window. When the window slammed the third time, Mandy kicked her covers off, shivered from the cold air blustering through the window, and then shut the window. Wearing just a tank top and thin shorts to bed was a bad idea, but since her blankets were so thick she didn't feel it as she slept. She bolted back to her bed and dove under the thick covers only to get hit by a wave of nausea. Mandy fought it down then slowly laid back down. Unfortunately, that just made it worse so she ran to the bathroom and got sick. She took a small comfort in the fact she hadn't been woken up by nausea.
When Mandy returned to the room, there were a couple vases on the window seat in front of the same window Mandy had just closed. One was a vase of Larkspurs and Lilies and the other vase was bright red roses and soft yellow daisies. Mandy walked over to the stove in the middle room and lit it then walked over to the vases and looked at the larkspurs and lilies and plucked the card from the flowers.
"To my love, these flowers are nowhere near as beautiful as you are. My love for you will last until the last flower dies. Happy Valentine's Day, Love, Sirius."
Mandy sighed then looked through the flowers. She smiled when she saw that she had been wrong. The only lily in the entire bouquet was not real. She shook her head and conjured another lily. Then she pulled on her school robes and went down to the Common Room where she found James and Sirius looking at something on the couch.
"Guys," Mandy said softly. They both looked around like spooked deer then relaxed when they saw it was just her.
"Hey, happy Valentine's Day, Love," Sirius said.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Mandy answered. Mandy walked around the couch and sat down in her chair. She waved the fake flower at Sirius. "Until the last flower dies huh?" Mandy asked.
"That's what I said. Fake flowers never die."
"Really?" Mandy pulled out her wand and set the fake flower on fire. Once most of the flower was burnt she dropped it on the table. "How's that for never dying?"
"That completely defeats the entire purpose of—" Sirius started.
"Oh relax, I conjured this one. I still have the other one with the bouquet upstairs. I get it. And it's really sweet. Thank you," Mandy grinned.
"You mean that?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, I do," Mandy reached over and took his hand. "And James, daisies and roses, Lily will love them."
"You think?" James asked nervously.
Mandy would have laughed if it had been any other girl he was trying to impress. The poor kid looked so unsure of himself and out of his element Mandy had to ease his fears. Especially since she wanted this one to work out so bad. "I know," Mandy answered him. "She loves roses for what they represent and daisies because they are so simple and pure."
Sirius tugged on Mandy's hand hard enough to pull her up out of her chair and over to sit down between them on the couch.
"I just—I don't want to screw this up Mandy. I really like Lily and messing this up—"
"Stop thinking so hard James, don't try to impress her, just be yourself. Any girl, especially a girl like Lily, is going to like you even more if you're being yourself. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."
"I know you're right, in my head, but in my heart I'm just so scared of losing the one thing—I mean—" James stopped and hung his head.
"You love her. Passionate, romantic, ends of the earth love. You love her almost as much as you love me. One day you're going to love her more than you love me," Mandy swallowed, "and I'm okay with that. You love us in two different ways. I will never forget everything you've done for me, everything you will do for me. That means the world. I do have one question. How'd you boys get the flowers in our room?"
"It's sort of like a banishing charm and an apparition charm wrapped up in one. I found it in a book of advanced charms when studying for our most recent Charms test," James explained. "Evidently it makes an item disappear from one spot and reappear in another. It's harder to do if you don't know what the other place looks like but you've told us that the girls dorm looks just like ours except you have window seats whereas we just have ledges in front of our windows."
"That makes sense. Let's go to breakfast, I'm hungry," Mandy said.
When the owl post came during breakfast Mandy, James, and Sirius had been joined by Lily who had thanked James for the roses and daisies with a kiss on his cheek. Instead of sitting in her normal seat between the two boys, Mandy had sat down across from them and Lily had taken the seat next to her in what were normally Remus and Peter's seats. The other two boys had understood and had taken seats on the either side of the girls. Then four owls landed in front of the group. Mandy and Lily instantly took their packages but James and Sirius stared at the owls.
"The gift won't bite, even if the bird does," Mandy said.
"Why would the bird bite?" Sirius asked.
"Maybe it doesn't like you Pads," James suggested.
"I have yet to meet a bird that doesn't like me," Sirius grinned removing the package addressed to him.
Mandy raised her hand waving it at Sirius. "Remember me? I couldn't stand you for seven years."
"You don't count. Your feelings were confused. You were just in denial and didn't want to admit how much you liked me," Sirius responded looking at the brown paper wrapping on his gift.
Mandy and Lily shared a look and Mandy rolled her eyes. That so hadn't been the truth until the previous year but she knew what Sirius was trying to do. His little ways of trying to charm her and boost his ego at the same time were sweet.
All over the Great Hall there were people tearing into Valentine's Day gifts and flowers everywhere. It almost smelled like one of Cassie's greenhouses as Mandy's mother grew all sorts of flowers. Cassie's favorites however were her prize winning daisies. When she was younger and first met Pat, he had given her daisies on their first date and Cassie had fallen in love with them.
"Well go on, open them," James said nervously, hoping the girls liked their presents. He and Sirius had spent hours poring over Honeydukes mail catalog trying to figure out exactly what to get their girls. Finally James settled on Chocolate Frogs for Lily and Sirius went with Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans for Mandy.
Mandy and Lily opened their packages, paused for a few seconds, then swapped gifts.
"Uh—" James gasped in shock. That was not supposed to happen.
"You mixed up their favorite candy," Parker said, sitting down between Sirius and her boyfriend Talon who instantly presented her with a plateful of breakfast and a card he had handmade. "Lily prefers beans and Mandy prefers chocolate. Not to say that they won't eat the other but it's not their favorites."
"But we love the thought," Lily said as Mandy nodded. Then the two girls leaned across the table and kissed their boyfriends.
"So you two are actually going out?" Mandy asked as she and Lily sat back down.
"As of Saturday." Lily nodded.
"Great, now boys open your presents," Mandy demanded.
James pulled the paper off his box first and opened the box to find it full of Zonko's products. "Wow Lily, this must have cost a lot," James breathed.
"It doesn't matter how much it cost. I realized that even though I like your more responsible and adult side I miss your pranks. Don't you dare hold that against me, Potter or I'll confiscate them."
"I'm not going to," James smiled. "Your turn." James, Mandy, and Lily turned to look at Sirius. He swallowed and pulled the paper off his gift.
Though Sirius was disappointed to see it wasn't pranking supplies as well he was shocked to see that it was the newest beater's bat. "How did you—" Sirius swallowed. Not only was the bat the most expensive one there was, it also had Mandy's and his initials engraved just below the grip.
"Remember at Christmas time when I got a little bored? I told you I met The Irving Michaelson on the pitch?"
"You never said you met him," James said.
"You met the captain of the Irish National Quidditch Team?" Sirius asked astounded.
"My bad. Yeah, he's friends with my brother. Anyway the Irish team got to test them when they were in production phase and as a thank you the company gave them four brand new ones. Irving got ahold of another and sold it to me since they don't come out on the market until May. You know he was kinda cute," Mandy explained.
"He what?" Sirius snapped.
"He's also 11 years older than me. I just said he was cute not that I'd leave you for him. If you don't like it, I'm sure Talon will take it." Talon was the other beater on the Gryffindor team. Sirius and Talon had a heated Quidditch rivalry but played well together.
"I never said I didn't like it, I just wondered how you got it. Thank you, Love. This is amazing," Sirius said.
Mandy smiled softly. As Mandy watched Sirius fawned over his new bat, a feeling began growing inside her. She didn't realize or even recognize it but it was there, deep inside her. One day she would recognize and cherish this feeling but for now the feeling would remain unknown to Mandy. The two feelings she did recognize were happiness and fondness. She was extremely happy to make him happy with such a simple gift. It reminded her that sometimes you didn't need to go out of the way to make someone happy.
Again thank you all for reading and reviewing. Please keep it up. I won't threaten to not update without so many reviews but as Monday is Labor Day in the US I don't plan on updating again before Tuesday.