Big thanks to patronousesandpotions, for your review.

Betas for this chapter are: LittleDrummerGirl2010 and Literatifan4eva. You guys are great.

Also thanks to Prongs Smitch for looking over this even though you didn't find anything wrong.

Chapter 16: What Are Your Secrets?

Valentine's Day passed and soon Mandy's morning sickness subsided and then she got cravings. She couldn't go more than about an hour without being hungry. Thankfully, most of the cravings were for sugar and she had a big supply of that, plus she knew where the kitchens were and the house elves there were always happy to give her plenty of whatever she wanted.

One day she was in the library studying when Regulus sat down next to her. "Afternoon," Mandy said.

"Hi," Regulus answered.

"So, what can I do for you?" Mandy asked.

"I just wanted to study."

"With me?"

"Sure." Regulus didn't say anymore, just cracked open a book and began studying. "Are you alright?" Regulus asked when Mandy rubbed her stomach for the fifth time.

"Yeah, just a little hungry. I still don't get why you're studying with me," Mandy demanded.

"Look, I can tell how my brother feels about you. You and I will be family one day. Even if my parents don't consider him a son, he's still my brother. You're not going anywhere and I knowing crossing you is a bad idea. Why not be nice to you?"

"Thanks Reg," Mandy smiled. "Can you keep a secret?" Mandy asked, looking around the nearly empty library.

"Sure."

Seeing no one around and hearing nothing nearby Mandy leaned closer to him. "Sirius cares about you, deeply."

"He doesn't."

"He does, Reg you are so strong and so ... brave," Mandy finally settled on that description. She was very hesitant to overstep her bounds between the brothers but knew Regulus needed to hear it. "He is proud of you. The fact that you live in a house where they're pushing ideals that are no longer the norm and you don't exactly seem to completely agree with them. That takes real courage. More courage than walking away. I really hope though that if you do get pushed towards You-Know-Who that you say no and walk away."

"Mandy," Regulus started.

"Do you think because you're a Black and you believe exactly what he believes, he's going to value you and respect you? That man only uses people to get exactly what he wants and then disposes of people when he no longer needs them. Do you really want that?"

"No, but I don't like having to hide what I can do either."

"Listen, I didn't say all this to cause a fight. I want you to know that you are still family to your brother too. He worries about you and one of his biggest regrets is not trying to get you out of there too. You know, just because you're a Slytherin doesn't mean you're evil."

"You're not comparing me to Smithheart are you?"

"No, I meant look at Andromeda. She's not evil, she's just driven and knows how to get what she wants," Mandy said.

"This is the secret you wanted me to keep?" Regulus asked.

"Part of it. Because Sirius still cares about you and because of that and how I feel about him I think you should know this," Mandy said then she waved her wand over her stomach. "Look down."

Regulus looked at Mandy then looked down over the edge of the table. "You're—" Regulus started loudly. Mandy slapped a hand over his mouth then glanced around.

"Pregnant yes," Mandy hissed. Even though the library was empty, Mandy didn't want to take the chance of anyone being around to hear them. "Don't go shouting that about. I wanted you to know. Like you said, we may be family one day. You have a right to know."

Regulus nodded and Mandy dropped her hand.

"Are you keeping it?" Regulus whispered.

"No, Sirius and I aren't ready for that kind of responsibility." Mandy hid the baby bump again and sighed.

"Are you sure giving it up is a good idea?" Reg asked.

"Yes. I was a happy kid. This will be a good life for it. Better than I could do. Your brother understands that."

"No, I get it too. But my parents—they're not going to let this happen."

"They blasted him off the family tree it won't show up."

"I see." Regulus went back to studying and Mandy stared down at her hands. "Are you going to Hogsmeade in March?"

"Yes, at least I plan on it. I've got to get James something for his birthday," Mandy answered.

Studying continued and out the window the sun sank in the sky and before long the librarian was kicking them both out. Mandy headed to the Common Room and resolved not to tell Sirius anything about her conversation with Regulus. It could damage their relationship and she didn't want to go there. As the days warmed up Mandy grew more and more tired. An afternoon visit to Madame Pomfrey revealed that it was a product of her being pregnant. Mandy groaned the minute she heard this. She hadn't heard much about what a woman went through while she was pregnant, but now that she was experiencing it herself, she hated every minute of it. She never wanted to get pregnant again. The fatigue, the pain, the cravings, the nausea, it was all too much for her. Perhaps it was just being pregnant on top of finishing Hogwarts that wore her down, but she really didn't feel at the top of her game anymore.

That's why when March 10th was upon them, Mandy was feeling very conflicted. She was grateful for the weekend, it meant at least one day of sleep and not worrying about anything, but it also mean Remus's birthday and no doubt the boys would being throwing a party. Especially with Quidditch the next day against Ravenclaw. That morning found Mandy reading early in the Common Room and Remus sat down next to her. No one else was up at the moment and Mandy really wished she could be sleeping, but as tired as she was she couldn't stay asleep.

"Someone's feeling better today," Remus said. For the past couple of days Mandy had been really tired and grumpy. Today she didn't look quite as tired or grumpy as she had been.

"Yeah, well, my cat's been sleeping in lately and I didn't have any nausea this morning and I slept through the night and of course, Happy birthday, my friend," Mandy answered.

"Any chance the other boys will forget?" Remus asked doubtfully.

"Not a chance." Mandy smirked.

"One could only hope." Remus sighed and stared at the fireplace.

"Happy birthday, Remus," Lily said as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Thank you, Lily," Remus answered.

"Remus, old bean!" Sirius called as he and James came down the stairs.

"Still hoping," Remus whispered to Mandy cringing.

"Tonight, we party!" Sirius cheered.

"Is not partying an option?" Remus asked.

"Why wouldn't you want to party?" Sirius asked confused as he plopped down on the couch.

"Life's not one big party you know." Remus said roughly. Usually Remus was a good sport about their parties, but for some reason he just didn't feel like it this time. Maybe it was the fact that they would soon be leaving Hogwarts, or perhaps it was because he was a little behind on his homework, but he just didn't feel like a party was necessary.

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment. Everyone sat quiet waiting for Sirius's answer. When the boy was quiet it meant one of three things: he was angry, really, really hurt, or pensive. That would lead to one of three things, him storming off, him exploding, or him saying something so profound that everyone would be shocked. "I know that. Sometimes it's depressing and painful and sad so anytime you have a reason to party you should," Sirius answered. So pensive it was.

"You know he does have a point," James said.

"Well when you put it that way how can anyone say no?" Remus pondered.

"Easy, say no Sirius, a party is not a good idea," Mandy answered.

"You said it yourself you are feeling better," Remus said.

"Come on, Love, please?" Sirius begged.

"Don't beg, Sirius, it makes you sound pathetic."

"So is that a yes?" James asked.

"It's not a no. Let me get through today first. Throw your party; I know you're going to."

"Just think about it," Lily said.

Mandy nodded. All day long Mandy thought about the party. Like she had felt that morning, it was the weekend and one of the best ways to start the weekend was a party and she could sleep in on Sunday, plus she had done most of her homework as she sat out her practical Charms class but she was still a little tired by the end of dinner. Eventually her mind was made up and she decided to drop by the party, which she like she expected, was a big blow out. Nearly the entire Gryffindor house was present. Then again it was their common room. Mandy stayed for cake and a bit of dancing before heading to bed. While she was studying, she found it hard to keep her eyes open so she changed into her PJ's and fell asleep. The next morning Mandy was studying in front of the fireplace when Remus sat down next to her. Mandy got a strange sense of déjà vu.

"Well, doesn't this remind you of something?" Mandy asked.

"Yesterday. I'm glad they talked me into a party. I had fun last night and I was happy for once. Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"I have to get James something for his birthday. To be honest I have no idea what to get him. Nothing seems just right." Though she was shocked by his sudden change of topics she let it go.

"It doesn't matter what you get him; he'll love it 'cause it's from you." Remus said. "Just like I loved that sweater and chocolate that you got for me. It's an amazing sweater and I love it, even if I didn't like the fact that you're buying me clothes."

"I know you don't like it, Remus, and that you feel that I'm pitying you or giving you charity but that's not it at all. I love you and it's what friends and family do for each other. You think of us as your pack, me and the Marauders, we're your pack. That makes us family; all of us. We have your back and it's never charity. Remember fourth year when I was having trouble with Switching Spells and you stayed up into the wee hours of the morning before our test making sure I got it down? That could be pity and charity but it wasn't. It was you caring about me. Same with me getting you the stuff I did. I love you Rem, we've been so close for years. Nothing I do is because I pity you or because I think you need charity," Mandy said passionately.

"I'm sorry." Remus said sharply, cutting across Mandy. He gently took her chin in his hand and looked her in the eyes. Then they both smiled. It was almost as if they were reading each other's minds. Remus knew she wasn't pitying him and Mandy could tell he finally got it. "With everything you just said James is going to love anything you get him."

"I know that. But that doesn't help one bit." Mandy answered.

"Go with your gut instincts. You know what he wants." Remus said.

"Yeah, I think I do." Mandy nodded. She wasn't exactly sure what to get him but figured something to do with either Quidditch or pranking.

"Who's ready for Quidditch?" James cheered coming down the boys' stairs.

"And he's awake," Mandy muttered.

"Breakfast first," Remus informed him.

James pouted but they went to breakfast. All through breakfast James acted like a kid on Christmas morning or an excited puppy. He couldn't sit still and he was shoveling breakfast in like it was the last meal he was going to eat. Finally it made Mandy sick so she touched his arm causing him to look at her.

"James, I know you're excited because this is against Ravenclaw and they've got the lead for the Cup but you'll do fine. Gryffindor's got a great team and amazing captain. You're great James and even if you don't win this game we're still going to love you. I promise."

"Mandy, that's not the point."

"Point is, you're better than them. You can beat them. Just have faith in Timmy and he'll blow you away. I promise."

"Thanks." James grinned.

"Good luck today James," a voice called.

James turned expecting Lily but Mandy could tell by the voice it wasn't her. It was someone she didn't like. Vicki Nightingale. She wasn't the most conservative girl by any stretch of the imagination, but she didn't broadcast that she slept around. Mandy knew that the only Marauder Vicki, or as most girls called her Icky Vicki, had slept with was Sirius. Not that she hadn't tried with Remus and James, they just weren't that desperate.

"Thank you," James said flatly. There was no emotion in his voice or in his eyes. Mandy had turned to look at James, avoiding looking at Vicki.

"So, after you win—" Vicki started.

"I'm going to celebrate with my best friends and my girlfriend who is not you. Goodbye Vicki." James and Mandy turned back to their breakfast and Vicki eventually huffed and stormed back over to the Ravenclaw table. Though she was a Ravenclaw and Gryffindor would be playing them that day, Vicki was always looking for an in with the Marauders.

"Good luck Captain," a female voice whispered in James's ear. His face split into a grin bigger than Mandy had ever seen before. That told her all she needed to know as if she hadn't see the girl out of the corner of her eye as the girl wrapped herself around the Quidditch Captain.

"Thank you, girlfriend," James answered turning his head and kissing his girlfriend on the cheek. Mandy blushed and looked away at the show of affection. It wasn't that Mandy had a problem with it, sometimes she and Sirius went overboard, it was just that the feelings rolling off James made her feel sad that she couldn't feel that way towards Sirius.

When Mandy's boyfriend did show up to breakfast Mandy, James, and Remus were almost done. He didn't look happy. "What's wrong Sirius?" Mandy asked.

"Worried I guess. I mean I know it's Ravenclaw and they're really not that good but this is the first game we've played without you since you joined the team in second year. I don't know how this is going to turn out," Sirius said.

"You and Talon always play great together and Timmy's amazing. No me but still really great. You'll do fine. Trust me," Mandy answered.

"Are you going to watch the game?" Sirius asked.

Mandy thought about it. She hadn't been to a Quidditch game since she found out she was pregnant and wasn't sure she wanted to go. "I don't know. It's a difficult situation. I haven't been to a Gryffindor Quidditch game that I wasn't playing in since first year."

"You'll be fine. Come on we need you there for moral support," Sirius begged.

"We always have fun in the stands," Remus tempted.

"You're not going?" James asked, turning away from Lily who had been talking to him quietly since she had come down. "You have to go, Mandy, please? I can't do this without you there."

"James, I don't think that—"

"Walk with me?" James suggested but Mandy could tell it was a forceful suggestion. Almost as if he was demanding it. "We'll see you guys down at the pitch," James told the rest.

James stood and Mandy reluctantly followed pulling her robes closer around herself as they headed for the door that would take them out to the pitch. Whatever he wanted would not be good. He was really good at pep talks and Mandy knew that he would eventually get what he wanted out of her. It was only a matter of time. "James, I can't. What if I get out there and I fall? Or there's a stray bludger or the Slytherins start shooting curses or—"

"Or the game progresses and nothing happens?" James finished for her. Seeing her about to protest James went on. "But nothing Mandy. I'm not going to let you sit in those stands all alone. Remus and Lily are both going to be there on either side of you looking out for you."

"James, I can't."

"Stop that. Mandy, I need you there. I have never played a game without you at the pitch. You've always been on the same team but you've always been there. I know that you're probably worried, I am too but you have to be here. Please, for me," James begged.

Mandy regarded him carefully. He did have a point, they had always been together on game days but she was still very nervous about being there. There was a look in James's eyes though. Something she couldn't place. She knew he was worried about the coming game and how his team would turn out but it was like he was also focused on something else and almost pleading with her to get her to the game for some reason.

"James, why is it so important?"

"Mandy, you know I love you. I always have. Since you pushed me down those stairs. I want nothing more than to protect you and keep you safe at all times. Your safety is so important to me but I feel like we're drifting apart again. It's almost like you have Sirius, I have Lily, and suddenly what we used to have isn't so important anymore."

"James, that's not true," Mandy said passionately. They stopped outside and James and Mandy faced each other.

"Maybe not, maybe it's still important but it feels different." James answered sadly.

"It's different because it is different. We're growing up James and that means that things will change but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to love you or that you're not important to me, it just means that we're not going to depend on each other as much as we used to. Our entire worlds used to revolve around each other. No matter who else we had, it was you and me above everything else but as you fall more and more for Lily and Sirius becomes more for me, things are going to change and we have to change with them. You will always be my best friend but when things happen you're not always going to be the one I run to. At least not the first one. Does that make any sense?" Mandy asked.

"I understand. We're not really drifting apart we're just changing the dynamic."

"I don't think dynamic is the word you want there."

"Whatever. What we have is changing and as much as I don't like it, I understand why it has to change," James said sadly.

"Hey, that's nothing to be sad about. Did you know you don't give me blow by blow descriptions of your dates with Lily? Any other girl you've gone out with you'd tell me everything that happened. Now it's just: we took a walk or we talked or we spent time together. Getting information out of you is like trying to escape Devil's snare. The more I pull and fight with you to get it, the more you hold back. It's not just me," Mandy explained.

"I understand, really I do," James smiled and hugged Mandy. "What was that?" James asked pulling back slightly.

"What was what?" Mandy asked.

"It was almost like I could feel your belly moving," James explained.

Mandy pulled completely away from James and dropped the concealment charm then placed both hands on her belly and waited. After three long minutes of nothing she shrugged. Nothing happened. James reached out a hand placing it over Mandy's belly and suddenly Mandy felt it too. A soft fluttering across her stomach almost like the sensation she got when going into a short dive on her broom. "I think—Madame Pomfrey said I should start feeling the baby moving around. She said it should feel like butterflies or a tumbling feeling in my stomach."

"Is that the first time?" James asked.

Mandy nodded looking up from where she was staring at her belly. "Can we not tell Sirius about this? It might break his heart," Mandy begged looking carefully at her best friend.

"Okay, on the condition you come to the game."

"That's blackmail."

"Nope that's Potter-mail. If it was blackmail Sirius would be doing it."

"Shut up," Mandy growled but she couldn't stop herself from laughing causing James to smile. "I hate you," but there was no bite or nastiness in her tone. Instead she was still smiling so James knew she didn't mean it.

"Come on mate, you have a game to watch." Mandy smiled and followed him to the pitch.

The Quidditch Pitch and sunshine faded from Mandy's view as a roaring fire and living room slowly materialized back in front of her. A clash of thunder filled her ears then Devin asked his question again. "Why does James Potter matter so much? I thought this was a story about you and Dad," Devin said confused.

Mandy looked around the room to see all the confused faces looking at her. All but one. Sirius was the only one not confused and he smiled gently at her. "To understand the story between me and your dad you have to understand the relationship between me and James. He was integral to our entire relationship," Mandy explained gently.

"There was something I learned about your mum and James, actually not long after that Quidditch game, that completely changed everything I knew about your mother and the way I felt about her and James," Sirius said.

"You didn't learn that until ..." Mandy trailed off going over the time line in her head. "After the Hogsmeade visit. I can't believe that we've gotten that far already. It seems like we just started this story."

"It's March, which means we'll be leaving Hogwarts soon," Sirius added.

"There is that. This is also about the time that Lily and I had that talk. We're getting into the grown up part of this story. It's not really that much fun and games anymore. Everyone really started growing up after this," Mandy said.

"I'm confused." Harry said. He really looked confused. Mandy smiled at her godson then looked at the rest of the kids. They also looked confused.

"What I'm about to tell you next is about a Quidditch game, what happened during it, the Hogsmeade visit, and how Sirius, Peter, and Remus found out one of my and James's deepest and darkest secrets," Mandy warned. "What you have to understand first though is that James and I were very close. Closer than anyone in this room probably has been to anyone else. Even Sirius and I don't share the same bond. James and I were really close and really stupid at age 13. We did something that we shouldn't have but we have to go back to the Quidditch game first."

So, do you guys still want to see more of this story? I wander how many of you are still reading this. Please review.