No reviews for last chapter. Oh well I guess. Also mentioned in this chapter is something called Magical Backup. This is not native to the Harry Potter world but rather Fairly Odd Parents I just happened to borrow it.
Beta for this chapter is: LittleDrummerGirl2010. Thank you.
Chapter 21: Which Leads to More Fights
"Mandy, why won't you just listen to me for once?" James begged, following her down the hall to the library.
"Because for the last two days since we made up, you have wanted nothing but to tell me how I feel about Sirius. I'm telling you right now that I don't love him the way you think or keep insisting that I do. He is a really great guy but I do not love him. Please, try to understand that," Mandy answered.
"Mandy, I—"
"James, if you want to talk about love, tell me about you and Lily because I won't sit here and listen to your crazy ideas about how I feel."
"First, you're not sitting, and second, I'm not trying to be crazy—"
"No one ever tries to be crazy, they usually just are." Mandy stopped and turned to face him.
"How can I convince you that I know what I'm talking about?" James asked, looking at her desperately.
"I don't think you can, so you should probably stop trying."
"I will prove this one day. You can bet on that."
"Never bet against me, Potter. You know better than that." James waved her off and Mandy continued to the library on her own. Mandy studied for a while on her own until Lily sat down next to her. "James send you?" Mandy asked.
"No, why would he?" Lily asked, looking at her.
"So you haven't talked to him in the past two hours?" Mandy asked.
"Sure, but he didn't say anything about you. Is something going on I should know about?"
"So he really didn't say anything?" Mandy asked, observing the girl closely.
"No, again, is there something I should know about? Did he upset you? Is that why you thought he sent me down here?" Lily asked.
"I thought he would—I guess—Never mind." Mandy shook her head. Maybe he didn't tell Lily everything. Or maybe after breaking her trust with the blood bond secret he was wary of letting more of Mandy's secrets slip. Maybe he didn't tell Lily they had been fighting because Lily would have asked what it was about and he didn't want to tell her that Mandy didn't love Sirius without Mandy's ok.
"Mandy, are you listening?" Lily asked.
"No, sorry what? James and I had a disagreement and I thought he sent you to talk to me about it. To make sure I was okay."
"No, he didn't send me, in fact I was actually looking for you. We've been friends for how long?"
"Christmas first year I guess."
"About six years. And we've always been close. Close enough that you could tell me anything. Lately though you haven't really been there. I know things are tough with what you're going through and with us studying for N.E.W.T.s and all, so the girls and I are having a girls' day tomorrow and we want you to be there. I want you to be there. I want my best mate back."
"Thanks, Lily, but I don't need your pity. I'm fine and don't need whatever kind of intervention you and the girls have planned."
Lily stared at her best friend in shock. She couldn't believe what had gotten into her. "Did you not just hear me? This isn't about an intervention, I swear. I miss you, Mandy. I don't want to lose you like I lost my sister."
Mandy instantly bit her tongue trying to stop the next words out of her mouth. "And you're not doing this, calling me your best friend because you don't have Snape anymore?" Mandy had absolutely no idea where that had come from. Nor did she know where the anger was coming from. She was starting to treat Lily like she had wronged her and that wasn't true at all.
"Snape and I haven't been friends since fifth year. You know that!" Lily snapped, her infamous redhead temper showing through. But it wasn't just that. Mandy could see frustration in those green eyes. "I guess I can see when I'm not wanted." The redhead stood to leave. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed heavily. She took a couple deep breaths and slowly turned around. Lily wasn't going to let Mandy see her cry. If Mandy didn't want her friendship anymore then she'd go. She'd be cordial for James's sake but she wasn't going to be pushed away anymore.
"Lily, wait," Mandy said standing. The redhead turned back to her friend who looked upset. "I'm sorry." Mandy chewed on her bottom lip and stared down at her Transfiguration notes. Mandy covered her face with her hands and did her best not to cry.
"I'm sorry too. I don't know what got into me and I know your emotions are all out of sorts because of your gift."
"It's not just that. I love my cousin—sister—Parker, but after what happened with her and Talon I just don't trust girls the way I should. Which is terrible because I've known you for so long and you just—I'm sorry."
"I understand, and I don't blame you. Parker crossed a line, one that I'd never cross, and that leaves a mark. You are understandably hurt but I will always be here for you."
"Thanks Lily, and I'll come under the condition you don't try to prove I love Sirius."
"I can't promise that, but we won't put words in your mouth," Lily answered.
Mandy nodded and she went back to studying. Soon Mandy packed up her books and notes and headed back to the Common Room. As she walked she thought about what was going to happen the next day during their girls' day. Typically she could handle it if it was just her and Lily or her, Lily and Parker, but when it came to the four of them and her, Mandy tended to freak out a little. When Mandy plopped down on Lily's bed after breakfast that following day she spotted Tiff and Shelly on Tiff's bed, Parker on her own bed, and Lily who was leaning back against her pillow.
"Mandy!" Tiff said in surprise. "We didn't think you'd actually come."
"But we're glad you're here," Shelly added.
"Yeah, I was thinking about passing but you aren't going to force me to do anything I don't want to do, so I'm in." Mandy leaned back against the post at the end of the bed and looked at them.
"We've roomed with you for seven years, I think we know you enough," Tiff answered.
"Good and Lily, I am sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me."
"Like I said yesterday, I understand. You're under a lot of stress because of your condition and I snapped from all the pressure. It's—N.E.W.T.s will be here in a couple months. McGonagall warned us at the beginning of the year that the stress and pressure could get to us. I just never thought it would make me snap at people." Mandy smiled and Lily grinned back.
"Speaking of your condition," Mandy swallowed as Shelly looked at Tiff then Parker. She nodded then looked back at Mandy. "We know you're pregnant."
"What?" Mandy asked. Her voice portrayed confusion but deep down Mandy was very worried.
"Like Tiff said we've roomed with you for seven years," Shelly explained softly. "We know you well enough that when you're moody and nauseous and hungry, we notice. We also noticed that you gave up Quidditch, stopped drinking, have to sit out practicals, and you're getting extra lessons from McGonagall. We can put two and two together. This nonsense going around that it's some kind of magical disease that stops you from practicing magic, is just that."
Mandy swallowed. There was no way they could know. If they knew, that meant Mandy hadn't been as careful as she should have been. Mandy pulled her legs up close and glanced at Lily. She really hoped the redhead could pull her out of this. Lily took a deep breath and slowly let out. "Girls—" Lily started.
"We haven't told anyone and we aren't going to," Tiff assured them. "Mandy, we know we're not close to you like the boys are but we do hope you can trust us. We want you to trust us. It doesn't really bother us. I mean it kind of does, a 17-year-old girl pregnant before N.E.W.T.s, but we understand how it could happen. Sirius is a very handsome man and can be very convincing. You like him and I know I crossed lines that I never thought I would cross with anyone when I was with him. Not that I regret it," Tiff explained.
"I don't ..." Mandy started. "Okay, you're right. Please don't say anything."
"Can we see?" Shelly asked. Mandy swallowed nervously but flicked her right arm towards the floor causing her wand to slide from its holster into her hand. Mandy cancelled the charm over her stomach and revealed the bulge to them laying her legs out in front of her. She stared at the bump hoping the girls wouldn't go gaga over it. She was disappointed when they swarmed the bed. Tiff and Shelly pressed their hands to the swell of Mandy's stomach and smiled. Though the girls weren't happy that their friend was pregnant before finishing Hogwarts, they were happy there was another life coming into the world. They were glad that she hadn't done something stupid and illegal like most scared girls her age wanted to do.
"Have you felt the baby move yet?" Parker asked.
"A few times," Mandy said, "And I don't know the gender." Mandy wasn't lying.
"How? Why not? You must be seven months along," Shelly said.
"Five," Mandy answered twirling her wand in her fingers. Both girls knew not to anger Mandy. It could turn very violent if they did. They both took a couple steps back just in case. "Because I'm not ready to pop right now I could have only conceived in October. I prefer not to know what it is. Doesn't change my decision for giving it up. I'm not keeping this gift. I'm not ready to be a parent, especially not with the growing tensions out there. It's not fair to the baby."
"But if you're really only five months then ..." Tiff trailed off taking a deep breath.
"How'd you gain so much weight?" Parker asked.
Mandy shook her head smiling. It was true. Like she had told Sirius nearly three months prior she had never been able to gain any weight at least not since she had turned 15 and had stopped growing. In fact Shelly brought that up. "You haven't gained more than maybe half a kilo a year since we met you and that's only because you've grown every now and then. Please don't take this the wrong way or anything we're just curious because ..." Shelly trailed off looking away hoping she hadn't just insulted the most temperamental witch she knew.
"Well, when my aunt was five months along with my cousin she wasn't quite as ... big," Tiff put in gently. "You look like my aunt did at seven months." Tiff and Shelly shared nervous looks. They were really crossing a line but they were curious about their friend's progress.
"Don't you think I've asked myself that question?" Mandy snapped. Shelly and Tiff backed off a few more steps. Lily touched Mandy's arm with her foot causing the brunette to look at her. Lily shook her head and Mandy took a deep breath to calm herself. They were just curious not trying to accuse Mandy of anything like lying. Mandy slowly let the breath out then explained how she knew. "I've only—I mean we only ever did—well you know, three times. Twice in October and once in May. Since I'm obviously not past my due date here, I'm going with October which was five months ago. I swear it."
"We believe you," Tiff said softly but she and Shelly retreated to Parker's bed just to be safe.
Mandy really couldn't tell them any of her other theories as to why she had gained so much weight. The girls, with exception of Lily, didn't know about her tiger side so she couldn't speculate aloud that the tiger blood was the cause of the advanced or more rapid growth. She was grateful they didn't push it, but gave them the matron's explanation to keep them satisfied. "Madame Pomfrey says that it's possible the baby is making me gain more weight. She says everyone's bodies react differently to pregnancy."
Then Lily jumped in with a save. "My mom told me that with Petunia she gained a bunch, was tired all the time, and got sick a lot but with me she only got mildly sick at first and only went up three dress sizes," Lily told them. Mandy looked at Lily and mouthed "thank you." Lily nodded and turned to Parker. "So Parker, you and Talon," she prompted.
"What about us?" Parker asked.
"How are things? You two have been together for like a year and a half right?" Lily asked.
Parker looked at her sister. As much as she loved her boyfriend and talking about how sweet and romantic he was, the fact remained that Parker had taken Talon from Mandy. Parker wasn't sure Mandy had forgiven her and didn't want to make her angry. Mandy took a deep breath and slowly let it out. It definitely still hurt that Talon had cheated with Parker but Mandy never blamed her. Mandy had known Talon nearly as long as she had known James. Talon and the Millers had lived less than 10 kilometers from the Hunters and Scott had been old friends with Talon's dad. The oldest six Miller children, Max, Cathy, Alicia, Talon, Ashley, and Timmy, had all been born in England. The Millers had moved to the States and spent nine years there before moving back to the U.K. The youngest two, Cara and Matt, twins now seven, were born over there. Mandy had always known that Talon had a thing for blondes and Parker was more girly than Mandy. While they were growing up Talon had never had a problem with how tomboyish Mandy was. She could see now though why Talon was attracted to Parker instead. "Mandy?" Parker asked, noting how the girl was no longer looking at her.
"Sorry, yeah, go ahead. He picked you, that's all that matters now," Mandy answered. She smiled hoping that Parker and the other girls didn't push.
Parker grinned and gushed all about their last couple of dates and how he was a sweet, kind, and caring man. As Parker went on about him Mandy thought back over her own relationship with the boy in question. Despite how it ended, Talon had been very sweet, kind and caring. Nearly the perfect example of the perfect boyfriend. Much like Sirius, Talon hadn't let a day pass by without letting Mandy know how he felt about her. All in all Talon was good for Parker and Mandy was happy for her sister.
Then the subject turned to Lily and James. Hearing about James's love life was almost too much for Mandy, despite how badly she wanted him to have his happy ending. Lily spoke of James with this look in her eyes. Something Mandy couldn't describe. Years later, Mandy would look back and see that this was the first time Lily had ever admitted that she could see James in her future and Mandy would come to realize Lily was falling in love with James. Mandy tuned out most of Lily's talk, instead letting her mind wander to thoughts of her feelings for Sirius. Once again the feelings Lily was describing for James and what Parker had described about her and Talon just didn't describe how Mandy felt about Sirius. Mandy did care deeply about him but it didn't feel like what she thought or they said love truly felt like. Mandy was completely oblivious to the next half an hour of discussion until Lily kicked Mandy hard in the leg. Mandy snapped out of it and looked at Lily. "You're not even paying attention!" Lily snapped.
"I'm sorry," Mandy shrugged.
"No, you're not," Lily sighed heavily, "you aren't even the least bit sorry." Lily had known this was going to be hard on Mandy, but she had thought the other girl would give more of an effort. It was almost like she didn't want to be there. "Mandy, we love you and we want to help you with whatever you're going through, but you have to let us in."
Mandy stood and shook her head. She walked to the door, staring at the floor then took the handle in hand. Mandy swallowed as she stared down at it. "I know I haven't been the best friend these last couple of months but ..." Mandy swallowed again fighting back tears. "I'm sorry," Mandy muttered. She left the room and wandered her way through the castle wondering why she couldn't let them in. Then she realized she was once again stuck in what her parents had dubbed "me mode." Once in that mode all Mandy cared about, all she could think about, was herself. She couldn't feel empathy for others, couldn't let them in, and she rarely even asked how they were feeling or thought that they could help. Mandy was by no means selfish but from time to time she couldn't stop herself.
She didn't know how it happened but suddenly she found herself slumped against the nearest wall crying her eyes out. Dumbledore walked past with Jason and he was shocked to see a completely different side of the girl. Before the professor could say anything Jason spoke. "Professor, would you mind giving us a moment or two?" Jason asked. Dumbledore nodded and walked off as Jason sat down next to his sister. "I'd ask if you're okay but I can see you're not."
"Ya think?" Mandy snapped rubbing her nose. She wiped the tears from her as she looked up at her brother.
"Wanna talk about it?" Jason asked.
"I just—I feel so selfish right now. We were having a girls' day. Me and Shelly and Tiff and Lily and Parker ... and my mind completely wandered for like half an hour. Lily kicked me to get my attention then I tried to apologize for it but she said I wasn't. How does she know I'm not sorry?
"You are sorry, for not paying attention, but you're sorrier that you can't let them in. We called it Me-mode, not because that's all you cared about but because you didn't think anyone else should be worrying about you or having to carry your burden." Jason answered, wrapping an arm around her.
"I can't help it and have no idea how to get out of this," Mandy cried.
Jason rubbed his hand up and down her arm waiting for her to calm down. Once the tears had mostly abated he tipped her head up. "Part of this is because you're pregnant—" Seeing her shocked face, he rolled his eyes. "Oh relax. I have a proximity spell up."
"A what?"
"A proximity spell. It tells me when someone's nearby. You learn it during Auror training."
"And the other part?" Mandy asked curiously.
"You're experiencing magical backup."
Mandy looked at him, shocked and confused. "Never heard of it."
"That's because it's rare and mostly went out with the opinion of not doing magic while pregnant."
"But I've heard of witches and wizards giving up magic completely. Certainly you've heard of "live like a muggle for a year" and those that give up magic completely when they fall in love."
"Yes, but never while pregnant. I also said it was rare."
"Like how rare?" Mandy asked. Not only was the entire subject fascinating but it also seemed a little curious. She wandered how much of this he was making up for her sake and how much was actually true.
Jason sighed knowing his sister didn't believe him. He was sure she thought he was making it up but his grandmother had told his mom all about it. "When Mum got pregnant with me and they told Gram and Grandfather, Gram immediately requested she stop using magic. They told her that any backfiring spell could do serious damage to the baby and they refused to let anything happen to the only Hunter heir. Midway into her fifth month, Mum felt super emotional and like she was always on edge. When Gram found out from Dad, she told her that she was experiencing magical backup. Once she had me everything would go back to normal. Mum found it strange claiming she'd never heard of such thing and that Dad was just letting off some steam. Pregnant women just get emotional and hormonal from time to time."
"What'd Gram say?" Mandy probed. Mandy had never met Scott Hunter's parents, as both had died somewhere in the mid to late 1950's, but had heard plenty of stories about them. They hadn't been as pureblooded in mentality as the Blacks and the Malfoys, but they were proud of being what they were. When Scott had met and fallen in love with Lynn his parents had kicked him out but recanted their stance when Lynn had gotten pregnant with Jason and Scott had promised to raise him as a proud wizard.
"Gram told her the story of her grandfather. Our great-great-great grandmother while pregnant with our great-great grandfather also got terribly hormonal and emotional. Back then it was frowned upon and considered completely unsafe to do anything magical while pregnant. Besides the Hunters have had house elves to dote on them and take care of them for years. Our great-great grandfather went onto become one of the top Aurors of his time. They say that any witch that experiences magical backup will give birth to an extraordinary witch or wizard."
"Extra ordinary?" Mandy asked. Though she knew what the word meant she found it odd that the word could be broken apart to mean extremely average instead of meaning super or fantastic.
"You don't like that word?"
"It's not that I don't like it, I just don't think it should mean what people think it means."
"Okay then, they'll give birth to a gifted witch or wizard."
"Much better. Did Mum believe her?"
"Of course not. Gram said it only happens to witches who completely give up their magic while pregnant."
"And Mum didn't?"
"Of course not. She may not have done magic while Gram and Grandfather were around but that didn't stop her from doing it while they weren't. Mum loved magic and didn't believe in using a house elf for everything. She said there were some things it just wasn't fair to use a house elf for." Jason explained. That totally sounded like their mother.
"So if this really is magical backup, what do I do about it?" Mandy asked.
"Have you been using any magic at all?" Jason asked.
"From time to time but it's only like one spell a week."
"Okay then. Come with me."
"But weren't you talking to Dumbledore?"
"That can wait. You need me more."
"Jas," Mandy looked up at him as he pulled her to his feet, "do you think I'm full of myself?"
"Not a bit nor do you think you rule this school and teachers should bend to your will. I think the students give you that because of how cool they think you are."
"When James was hurt—"
"I didn't stop you because I knew that you were going no matter what I tried. I know how you feel about him and I didn't want to make you angry. I know making you angry isn't a good idea. I'll show you." They were outside on the lawn and Mandy realized it was still a bit cold out. She shivered but Jason only turned a twig into a training dummy. "This is what we use in the first two months of training to make sure we have the basics."
"What do you want me to do?" Mandy asked.
"All the defense spells you know." Mandy nodded and started with the simpler ones then moved on to the more difficult ones. When she got more in depth her brother watched in shock. Though he had seen a lot of good magic, some of the most advanced from the wizards who had trained him, his sister was really good. "Wow!" Jason breathed out when she had blown the dummy to smithereens.
"That felt great." Mandy breathed as the ashes sprinkled down around her. She spun around in circles and the ashes danced on the wind Mandy didn't realize she was creating. "I haven't felt this great in years. I finally feel like myself again. It's like—It's freeing." Mandy said. She stopped spinning and the ashes floated into a pile.
"How'd you create that wind?" Jason asked.
"What wind?" Mandy asked.
"You didn't notice it?" Jason asked. Mandy shook her head. "The ashes from the dummy were floating around you as if the wind had picked them up in a vortex. You're telling me you didn't notice that?"
"Not a bit. But if it did then we need to work harder."
"Harder? For what?" Jason asked confused walking over to her.
"When I get really emotional my magic goes haywire. Windows shake, flames flicker, things float, and watch." Mandy thought really hard about things that would make her angry. The one thing that did it was not knowing who had hurt James. It made her beyond angry. Jason watched as the dummy parts flew back together into the dummy form then blew apart again and back and forth until Jason touched her shoulder.
"What did you mean to do?" Jason asked.
"Just get angry and make something happen. I wasn't focusing on anything in particular just how angry I am that I don't know who hurt James. I blew it up again, didn't I?" Mandy asked, motioning to the training dummy. Jason nodded.
"Then put it back together and blew it up again. And you did that all without concentrating?"
"Yep. I think, well I've been told, that I never actually learned to control my accidental magic. I don't know what's true but remember when I was little and I got scared I'd close my eyes and appear back in the house? Or when I'd get mad and suddenly I'd have whatever Mum said I couldn't?" Mandy asked. Jason nodded remembering how his parents had told him for the two years after the pureblood ball Mandy showed more spurts of magic. Accidental magic that they had expected from her years prior to that. "It's like that still and it's weird. Everyone else I've talked to had never had that happen after they start Hogwarts but why me?"
"I don't know. We should work on your wandless magic. Maybe if we get that under control this will stop." Jason said. Mandy nodded. Jason wrapped an arm around his sister and they slowly walked back inside.
PLEASE, please, please tell me what you think. I hope Mandy's not coming off too angry but if she is I do have a reason for it. I promise you'll find out soon. Also this is the last chapter that has been beta-ed so please tell me in the next chapter if you see anything wrong.