No reviews for the last chapter which makes me sad but I guess I'm okay with that. As long as people are still reading this.
From this point on this story is unbeta-ed as I said in the last chapter so any mistakes are all mine though I tried very hard to make it seem cohesive with the rest of the story and that there were no mistakes. If you find something please let me know.
Chapter 22: Which Includes Easter
As Jason and Mandy walked back inside from her showing off her magic, Jason asked her a rather personal question. "So how are things between you and Sirius?" Jason asked. Mandy raised an eyebrow at her brother. "Mandy, please. Who am I going to tell?" Jason asked.
"I don't know how I really feel. I just ..." Mandy sighed and once again explained how she was supposed to feel but didn't.
"You think you're supposed to love him?" Jason questioned lightly as he led her to his office.
"I don't know. I mean James has barely been wrong and I don't want to assume that he is now—it's just—I feel like everyone expects me to be so deeply in love with him, but all this fairy tale love talk—I just don't feel it."
"Maybe your love isn't supposed to feel like that. Everyone falls in love differently and we just have to accept that." Jason explained. He stepped around the other side of the desk and opened a drawer and pulled out a book. He looked at it for a moment then he looked back at her. "True, when you do fall in love you will feel it, but it won't feel the same as what everyone else feels. I want you to have this." Jason handed over a book.
"Grimm Fairy Tales? I already have one of these, in its original German," Mandy answered. Mike had given her one of the rarest copies of the book for Christmas in her sixth year. It was one of only six hand-written copies.
"I know, but this one Dad bought." Jason pressed the book into her hands. "Take it. Read it. You'll understand." Mandy sighed but took the book and left the room. She walked back up to the Gryffindor tower thinking about the book and what her brother had said. The way he had talked about love made her realize that he had known a thing or two about it. She had to ask him but she knew she had to be careful about it. She couldn't push him too hard or he would shut down and not answer anything.
The full moon passed and once again Mandy found herself unable to join the Marauders in the shack. Once again this upset her but until she was able to figure out what stopped her from transforming she would just have to deal with being unable to help her friend.
Two days later, the day before James birthday, Mandy made her way back to her brother's office. She sat down in a chair and waited until he finally looked up from the exams he was grading. "And what brings you back? Did you read the book?" Jason asked, putting down his quill.
"No," Mandy shook her head, "I wanted to ask you something, but I don't think you want to talk about it." She hesitantly looked at her brother.
"Why wouldn't I? Unless you're asking about my girlfriend. I've already told you I wouldn't talk about it."
"No, not about her, though I do wonder. I wanted to ask you about love. You've obviously been in love," Mandy said, brushing some hair behind her ear.
"Mandy," Jason sighed heavily.
"Told you you didn't want to talk about it." Mandy stood up from her chair. She sighed. She should have known he wouldn't answer it. She wasn't angry with him, she had just resigned herself to that fact.
"Come on, sit down," Jason said. Mandy sighed but sat back down. Jason waved his wand over the kettle on the fire behind him and it began to steam. Mandy looked from him to the now steaming kettle and back. She had never seen a kettle steam so fast. "I just filled it with water, it was already hot," Jason reassured her. Then his look turned serious and a bit heartbroken. "Listen, I don't like talking about it because she left me. I was maybe three years into the Auror program so maybe three years ago, you know it takes three years of training, and she just decided to up and leave. Said I was too into the job and not into her enough. It wasn't true."
"I'm sure you loved her more than enough. She just didn't understand the pressures of the job."
"She didn't. This new girlfriend I have, I could love her, very much, but the love I feel for her is very different than the love I felt for the one who left. That's why I said love is different for everyone," Jason said as the kettle whistled behind him. He turned his chair a bit then levitated the kettle over to the desk pouring the hot water over the tea leaves in his cup. He offered some to his sister but she shook her head. "Right, you've never liked tea." Jason pulled out a bar of chocolate and ground it to a fine powder then stirred it into the other mug. Then he poured a bit of milk to the cup. Mandy cast a quick cooling charm on the cocoa and smiled as she tasted it.
"Not quite as good as Rosemerta's but very good."
"She uses hot milk cooled by ice not hot water." Jason watched his sister sip the cocoa and smiled as she enjoyed it. "When I fell in love the first time it was like getting smacked in the face with a bludger. Everything hit me all at once. But this time it's slower. Like getting warmed up after a day in the snow. It starts with the fingers and toes and soon your entire insides are all warm and fuzzy. You may never feel like that towards Sirius."
"I want to love him, so bad. When he's hurt I want my stomach in knots, I want my heart to break, I want to feel like the world may completely end. Right now, all I feel is mild worry. Like I feel about Remus or Talon or even Parker. I don't get that heart racing, gut wrenching feeling. Do you know how it feels to feel like this?"
"You may never feel like that about Sirius." Jason stirred his tea unsure how to continue. "Love isn't something I can explain to you. It's something you feel. It's a feeling of safety. It's knowing that no matter what he's always going to be there. Trusting someone beyond all reason. Aristotle once said 'love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' Don't look for love, let it find you. Tagore, the author, once said 'love's gift cannot be given but waits to be accepted'."
"I still don't know how I would know that I'm in love."
"I wish I could answer that for you, Mandy, I really do but it's different for everyone."
"You are of no help," Mandy said. She stood and downed the rest of her cocoa then left his office. Jason sighed but watched his sister go. When Mandy returned to her dormitory she flipped through the fairy tales book looking for anything to help her out or why this book was so important but all she found was fairy tales that her brother used to read to her as a small child at Christmas time. Sure a lot of the tales spoke of true love and finding prince charming but nothing more than what she had already known.
"Mandy!" James called up the stairs. She sighed and walked out to where she could see him. "Will you please come down? Mum sent Easter Eggs."
"Okay." Mandy walked down the stairs with the book tucked under an arm and James handed her the solid chocolate egg his mother had sent for her. She smiled and sat down in her chair staring at it.
"What you got there?" Sirius asked.
"Easter Egg. Solid chocolate," Mandy answered.
"No, the book," Sirius said grinning.
"Oh, Grimm's Fairy Tales. Have you heard of them?" Mandy asked. Being pureblooded Mandy wasn't sure Sirius had heard of them since she knew wizards had their own fairy tales.
"I've heard of them, yeah, but why do you have a kids' book?" Sirius asked.
"My dad got it. My brother said he wanted me to have it."
Sirius held his hand out and Mandy handed him the book. The second Sirius touched the book it glowed bright and when it stopped he looked at it confused.
"What's wrong, Pads?" James asked.
"This isn't a fairy tale book. It's a photo album." Sirius turned the book so James could see the first page and James nodded.
"No, it can't be." Mandy took the album back and it reverted to a fairy tale book. She flipped through the pages finding only fairy tales. "See fairy tales." Mandy said showing them the stories. Sirius took the book back from her and once again it reverted to a photo album. "How do you do that?" He flipped through the pages then slammed the book shut.
"All these photos are of your parents. Of the Hunters," he corrected himself.
"What do you mean?" Mandy asked curiously, setting the chocolate egg in her hands on the table in front of her. She stood and then squished herself between James and Sirius on the couch. They both scooted over a bit to make room for her.
"Look." Sirius opened the book again and flipped through a couple pages. Mandy saw there were all kinds of photos of her parents. Most of them showed her parents together and looking deeply in love. "I don't know how I did it, but somehow it seems to either recognize me or something about me."
"But my parents barely knew you." Mandy took the book from him and then James suddenly snatched it from her. Mandy was surprised to see that the book switched from fairy tales to the photo album for him too. "You too?" Mandy asked.
"I don't know. Wait, here," James said, pointing to the inside cover of the book. Mandy leaned closer and touched the book. Suddenly it began flipping back and forth between the album and the book almost as if it couldn't decide which to be. Mandy jerked back and it returned to a photo album. "It's from Scott Hunter. Your dad."
"Dad? But what?" Mandy started. She shook her head and leaned in again this time not touching the book. "My dearest little Mandy, if you're reading this it means you've fallen in love. Not like how you feel about James, but true, deep, unending love. The stories you've seen before you saw this all had the same thing in common. It doesn't matter how you fall in love, what brings it about; falling in love is one of the best things in the world. Love is powerful. I wish you the best and hope you know how much your mum and I love you deeply. One day, it is my hope that you find out just how powerful love can be. You're beautiful, strong, independent, and powerful but loving someone will change everything for the better. Don't be afraid of it. Don't run from it. Love Dad."
Mandy swallowed. "Love is powerful?" James asked.
"Love has always been powerful," Sirius answered, "just not in the way you think it would be."
"Hmmm," James hummed.
"Guys, how does this work?" Mandy asked.
"Love?" James asked.
"No, this book. I mean think about it. You two touch it and it's an ordinary album, but if I touch it, it's a book of fairy tales. How does that even work?"
"Maybe you should ask your brother," James said.
"Perhaps it's like the TARDIS." Mandy looked up at the sound of the voice to find Lily standing behind the couch leaning her forearms on the back cushions.
"Bigger on the inside?" Mandy asked, her brow furrowing.
"The what?" Sirius asked.
"It's a muggle thing," Lily answered him, then she looked back at Mandy. "Like the camouflage unit. You know the one that makes it look like a police box."
"So like a glamour charm?" Mandy asked, curiously.
"I suppose."
"Then how does it deactivate when James and Sirius touch it but activate when I touch it?"
"I don't know. How does a wand choose a wizard?" Lily asked.
"Hmmm, that could also explain his words stating that when I'm truly in love it would know and wouldn't change," Mandy said thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry but TARDIS?" Sirius asked.
"It's from a muggle television show. It stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's a time-traveling spaceship," Lily said.
"And what show is this from?" James asked.
"It's called Doctor Who," Lily said.
"I think Remus said something about it," James answered, shaking his head. "Anyway it could be a glamour charm that somehow senses your magical signature."
"I think I've heard of that somewhere before," Mandy agreed nodding. It did sound familiar.
"Wait; is that like what they use in the hall of prophecies?" Harry asked.
"Similar in the fact that it could sense if I was touching it," Mandy agreed.
"But how could it sense if you were in love?" Devin asked.
"The Patronus Charm. Or something like it. It can tell when you've gone through a great emotional upheaval. Your Patronus can change," Megan answered.
"Exactly," Mandy grinned.
"So if you were holding it and someone walked up behind you—" Erin prodded.
"They'd see the book of fairy tales but if someone else was holding it and I looked over their shoulder, as long as I didn't touch the book, I'd see the photo album," Mandy explained. "I never did understand the magic my dad used on that book or why he used it exactly but it really helped."
"Are you going to eat that?" Remus asked.
"Eat what? The book?" Mandy answered confused.
"That egg." Remus pointed to the egg on the table from where he was sitting in one of the armchairs.
"No you cannot have it, eat your own." Mandy grinned.
"I meant if you don't, it's going to melt." Remus laughed.
"Oh, well I'll take that upstairs. James, where's your owl?" Mandy asked as an idea suddenly sprang to her mind.
"In the owlery," James answered offhandedly.
"Can you do me a favor and go write your mother telling her thanks?"
"I was—" James started.
"Now, please?" Mandy begged. She gave him a puppy dog pout and he rolled his eyes.
"Going." James got up and left the room. He wasn't really irritated with her but he didn't like being told what to do. Especially when it felt like she was trying to get him out of the room, but he went anyway.
Mandy turned to the rest of the group when the portrait had shut behind him. "What are we doing for his birthday?" Mandy asked.
"We're throwing a party tomorrow night since classes don't start up until Tuesday. The whole school will be back and he's going to have a blast," Sirius said as he laid out the plans.
"I did say you could have a party," Mandy sighed.
"This again Mandy?" Sirius asked. He couldn't believe she was going to put a damper on her best friend's birthday.
"Look, I just ... Never mind forget I said anything." Mandy stood, grabbed her egg and left for her room. She was really starting to hate being pregnant. Normally she'd never react like that. She didn't know if it was the hormones from her pregnancy or if she was just bored and wanted excitement.
Sirius sighed heavily. He really hadn't meant to upset her again but now it seemed like he was back to the way things had been in fifth year. Back when nothing he said was right and she was always snapping at him. Lily walked around the couch and sat down next to Sirius taking his hand in her own. She looked around the room and seeing no one but herself, Sirius, and Remus she gave him a smile.
"I know you didn't mean that, not the way she took that. She's pregnant, Sirius, and pregnancy means hormones and that she's more likely to snap. She's just worried," Lily said gently.
"She doesn't have to worry, I love her and that's all that should matter," Sirius said.
"Yes, but should is the keyword there. She is worried about so much stuff right now—" Lily started.
"Then why doesn't she talk about it? I'm here for her." Sirius growled.
"I know," Lily patted the back of his hand sympathetically, "you have to understand what's going through her mind though."
"How can I if she won't talk about it?"
"She's scared. She thinks she's leading you on since in her mind she doesn't love you and she's worried about leaving Hogwarts, about the war, about what's going to happen next," Remus added.
"And most importantly about giving birth," Lily finished.
"She doesn't have to worry about all that stuff. I am here for her," Sirius pleaded hoping they'd understand.
"We know, Sirius," Lily said gently, "but she doesn't feel it and she thinks you're going to be disappointed. That's the last thing she wants from you."
"For me to be disappointed?" Sirius asked. "Disappointed in what?"
"In her. In her inability to come to you," Remus suggested. "You really should confront her."
"But wouldn't confronting Mummy be a really bad idea? You didn't want to fight with her did you?" Erin asked.
"I didn't. That's why I didn't confront her. I let James talk to her. Again." Sirius sighed heavily. "He was supposed to be enjoying his birthday party and instead he spent quite a lot of time talking to Mandy that night."
"You didn't go to the party?" Harry asked.
"No, I was up in the astronomy tower," Mandy admitted softly. "There was so much on my mind that night that I didn't want to ruin his birthday. I did anyway. At least I thought I did. We spent close to an hour talking and staring at the stars. He always said I didn't ruin that birthday and part of him was glad to have spent it just the two of us."
"How come you didn't end up with him?" Megan asked. Though she had heard the story of her parents several times she never understood why they had ended up together.
"Because I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. Those two things are two completely different things."
"Different how?" Devin asked.
"Being in love with someone means being willing to go to the ends of the Earth for them, protecting them from all harm, willing to shelter them and keep them out of everything, facing it so they don't have to," Sirius said.
"Loving someone means realizing that as bad as you want to protect them, they are also there for you to lean on and realizing that they will be so you don't have to be alone," Mandy added. "I loved your father, Harry but at the same time I knew that he had two feet of his own that he could stand on should he have to. I didn't realize it at the time but all those thoughts and feelings that I was having about Sirius my seventh year was actually me falling in love with him. I didn't realize it until probably after my nightmare on the one year anniversary of my parents' deaths."
Does anyone think Mandy's coming off too angry? Also do you think the flashes back to the present time are unnecessary? Thanks for reading please review.