Here's the next chapter. Still no reviews but a few favorites and follows. I guess I'll take it.
Chapter 24: Advice Fixes Things
"You're ruining my birthday party," James said, seeing her sitting on a window sill in the Astronomy tower. Mandy was staring out the window at the sky and stars but James couldn't tell if there was anything in particular that she was looking at.
"No, I'm not," Mandy answered. She didn't even flinch. It was almost as if she had heard him approach or if she wasn't shocked to see him there. "I just didn't show up."
"And how does that not ruin my party?" James asked. He walked over and sat down next to her.
"Because if I was there it would have ruined it. I'm not in a good mood, Jamie, I feel terrible and it's your birthday, no one should feel terrible on their birthday."
James took her right hand and flipped it palm up. Then he ran his thumb on the scar on the inside of her wrist.
"You already feel terrible," she said, realizing what he meant. He could feel what she was feeling thanks to the bond and it hurt her. "I am so sorry."
"Don't apologize. Just ..." James sighed deeply and looked at her carefully. "Just tell me what's wrong."
"You really want to know?" Mandy asked, looking up at him. James's heart broke for her. She looked so scared and unsure of herself. It was almost as if she suddenly didn't trust him. He had always been there for her and she now looked like she didn't trust him at all. Maybe it wasn't that she didn't trust him, perhaps it was that she was scared he'd turn on her.
"I will always be here for you to talk to. Always," he said passionately. He loved her like she was his kid sister. There was nothing she could say to push him away or make him turn on her.
"Okay then. There is so much bothering me." Mandy leaned her head on his shoulder. "I don't even know where to start." Maybe she did still trust him.
"At the beginning," James suggested, running his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I want to love Sirius, so bad but I can't. On top of that I am so sick of being pregnant and transforming into a tiger every month has become tiresome and I can't transform into a bear anymore and I still feel like we're drifting farther apart."
"Wow, you really feel all that?" James lifted her chin to look into her eyes but all he saw was honesty. "Okay, first tell me about not being able to transform."
"For months now, since about December. Haven't you noticed?"
"I have but I just figured you didn't want to risk the baby." Her disappearance hadn't gone unnoticed by the boys but none of them really wanted to confront her. Each had their theory but none of them were right. James had known that it had to be a big reason for her to not help a friend out. If she cared that deeply about Remus, it was hard for James to imagine a situation where she would refuse to help him. It had to be something big, which was why he decided the only reason was if she was worried about the baby.
"Never thought of it that way. I just can't. I try so hard. Watch." Mandy got up and demonstrated the way she had for Remus and he sighed.
"I'm sorry, Mandy."
"Yeah, me too. Nothing I can do about it." Mandy tugged her sleeves down for a moment then sat back down on the sill. "I hate being pregnant. I feel like I'm missing so much and I know it's only temporary and I shouldn't complain but I can't help it. It's just me being moody though. I don't really expect you to do anything about it. I know this gift is special but at the same time I guess I just feel like I'm useless. Kinda like being in that shack every transformation. Like a caged tiger. I don't like feeling like this."
"You're not useless. I wish I could tell you something to cheer you up. I used to be able to cheer you up in a heartbeat." James looked out into the stars angrily. He felt helpless. Almost like he was useless to be there for her.
"Yeah, what happened?"
He looked at her and realized what had happened between them. "We grew up. Our problems got more complicated. We got more complicated. Lily hates how close we are. I can see it in her face. Doesn't matter though. She loves me she'll accept it or we're done." He ran a nervous hand through his hair. He shouldn't have told her that but now that it was out there, he couldn't and wasn't sure he wanted to take it back.
"You don't mean that," Mandy said panicked. He couldn't mean that. "You love her so you'll do your best and she'll come to terms with it."
"You could always read me. That book you had, the one that helped you transform before we managed it; what happened to it?" James asked, suddenly changing the subject.
Mandy looked at him. What book was he talking about? Then it hit her. The Book of Animagus. It had detailed steps of how to become an animagus. "The Hunter Library. After I figured it out I returned it. I didn't need it."
"Can you still get to it or does Jason have to get it?"
"No, I can send Chris to get it." James nodded so Mandy called the elf and after explaining what she wanted Chris disappeared. "What do you want with the book?" Mandy asked. She looked at James suspiciously.
"Just some additional reading," James answered. "I never did ask why that's his name, did I?"
"They got him when Jason was a kid, but told him nothing about house elves. They told Jason he could name him. Jay wanted to give him a strong name he would always remember so he named the elf Chris. Then Jason found out that house elves are essentially slaves. He didn't like that one bit and since Chris had a human name he was treated like a human. Though a servant, well treated. When our parents weren't around Jason referred to Chris as Mama's Little Helper. It gave us a different perspective on house elves."
"I see."
"Now what else?" Mandy asked.
James stared out at the dark sky, thinking back to what she had said was bothering her. He barely noticed the dying moon or the bright stars overhead. "You and I will never drift apart. We'll grow and change but we will never drift apart."
"How do you even know something like that?" Mandy asked, completely in disbelief.
"I know because I know us," James answered. He pulled her arm into his lap. Then he pulled a self-inking quill from his pocket. He realized suddenly that he couldn't do what he wanted with her sitting on his left side. It wouldn't look the way he wanted. "Switch sides with me."
"What?" Mandy asked.
James rolled his eyes and got up, walking around and sitting down on her left side. Then he grabbed her right arm and pulled it back into his lap. He began to draw right over the scar on her wrist. This wasn't unusual though James usually only drew on her while they were in his dorm after something big happened. After his father had died, after he had lost both sets of grandparents in one month, after her parents had died, and after they had broken up. That's how she had gotten her four tattoos. The bear print on her chest, the dog howling at the full moon on her left shoulder blade, the rose on her lower back, and a daisy on her hip bone. Mandy watched as he drew and finally he put the quill away and pulled out his wand. He waved it over her wrist and after it glowed bright blue, he let her go. Mandy pulled it back to her and saw she had a new tattoo. Right over the scar were the letters JP.
"JP?" Mandy asked.
"James Potter. Every time you look at this, remember that I will always be here for you. Always. I promise. Even if I'm not physically with you, I will always be here in your soul, in your blood, in your heart. Shove this under my nose and I promise I will listen to you."
"I'd have to find you first."
"I suppose, but please know you'll always be my best friend."
Mandy looked at him as he said that and she could see how much he truly meant it. James actually meant it and Mandy finally believed him. "Okay," Mandy whispered. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. James hugged her back, kissing the top of her head and holding her close.
"My little Panda Bear, my sweet little bear, everything will be okay. I promise," James breathed against the top of her head.
"Part of me does love him," Mandy said, leaning against his chest, "deep down. I talked to my mother and father earlier today. Cassie and Pat. My father, the day he met my mother, he felt it all. My mother didn't feel it. All the butterflies, the feeling of coming home, everything you describe when you tell me how you feel about Lily, my father felt all that. My mother she didn't realize she was in love with him until my mum got hurt in an auto accident. He was constantly by her side and he took care of Cassie when she didn't feel up to doing it herself. Everything she said about loving my father, I'm starting to feel that way towards Sirius. They told me love isn't the same for everyone and that I may never feel the way you feel but that I should accept what I feel about Sirius. I know you've said the same but I guess I'm just not ready to."
"And you don't have to be. I know I've been pushing you to accept that you love Sirius, but now I realize I was wrong. He loves you and that's all you have to accept. Take it one day at a time and you'll be ok. I know what you're thinking Manda Bear and I don't know what's caused this change in me, but you deserve to be happy and I think Sirius could make you very happy. You just have to give him a chance to make you happy. Accept that he loves you and accept that there is a chance you could love him too."
"Thanks Jamie. That makes a lot of sense." Mandy grinned. "Again, I'm sorry I ruined your birthday."
"You didn't ruin my birthday. Sure, they think you ruined the party but," James tipped her head up to look at him; "I'd rather spend my birthday with my best friend than with a bunch of people who look up to me and don't care about truly being my friend."
"You know, you're one of a kind. Lily's real lucky to have you."
"I could say the same about you and Sirius." James smiled at Mandy and she grinned then leaned her head on his shoulder as they watched the stars. Eventually they both got up and made their way back to the tower. The party had mostly died by the time they got back and Lily instantly rushed to James's side.
"Are you okay? Sirius said you went for a walk but you've been gone for nearly two hours," Lily said.
"I'm fine," Mandy said.
"James?" Lily asked. That's when Mandy got the feeling Lily hadn't actually been talking to her.
"You weren't talking to Mandy, were you?" James asked.
"Of course I was," Lily said.
"No, you weren't. Dinner's been over for more than four hours. You couldn't care less where she was, you just care that I was with her," James accused.
"James," Mandy whispered softly as the rest of their friends started to look over at them.
"No!" he demanded, glancing at Mandy. It wasn't fair for Lily to not be concerned about Mandy. "You are my best friend. If she can't take that then we're done." Sirius walked over to them to make sure everything was all right between them.
"I didn't ask if you were okay, Mandy, because I know that you're not. You're better than you were when you left dinner and better than you have been in a long time, but you're still not completely okay. Besides I know you can take care of yourself. I was worried about James because he just disappeared." Lily took a deep breath. Her boyfriend and her best friend were supposed to get along. It was a good thing. Or at least this was what Lily tried to remind herself.
"He came after me. To make sure I was okay," Mandy answered. "On top of that, James is more capable of taking care of himself than I am."
Lily spun on her heel and walked off. Sometimes it was better to get away from it all. She wasn't completely sure what she was upset about but Lily didn't want to take it out on either one of them. Moments later a door slammed and Mandy knew it was the door to their dorm. "Now look what you did," James accused.
"Me? If you think about it this is all your fault," Mandy answered. Though their tones were accusing, if you listened carefully, like Sirius was doing, there was an undertone of teasing in both voices.
"My fault? How is this my fault? You're the one that jumped in and defended me."
"Actually you're the one that got suspicious and defensive when Lily asked about you. That's not what I meant. I meant that if you had never gotten in my way, I never would have pushed you down the stairs and you never would have asked me to be your friend. If we hadn't been friends since we were five, we wouldn't be so close and Lily wouldn't be so upset with both of us. So technically it's all your fault."
"I can see that, but Mandy ..." James gave her a look and she knew what she had to do.
"Mandy?" Sirius asked.
"Like I said I'm getting better," Mandy answered giving Sirius a soft smile.
"Do you want things to be better between you and Lily?" Sirius asked curiously.
"I don't want her mad at James," Mandy answered, shrugging. Truth was she did want things to be the way they had been in fifth year between herself and James and herself and Lily, but she knew when one added friends, the amount of time she could spend with each friend dwindled and eventually that meant someone got left out. She just wished she knew how to fix things between herself and Lily. The best thing to do right now was go see Lily. Mandy looked back at James who nodded. "All right, I'm going." Mandy sighed, and then headed up the stairs.
"Be nice!" James called after her.
"Lily?" Mandy peeked around the door frame to look at her friend. The redhead was sitting on her bed, her hands clasped together in her lap giving no indication that she had heard anything. As she stared at her lap she rubbed one thumb over the other but wasn't otherwise moving. "Lily," Mandy said again and shut the door behind her then removed the glamour charm from her stomach. She was mostly concerned that Lily might forget about her condition unintentionally and wave her wand around. "About what we said downstairs ... we didn't mean to be so accusing. We wanted to apologize. We shouldn't have said it that way. You care very deeply about James and I bet you'd do almost anything you could to defend him and make sure no harm comes to him." Lily didn't look up but her thumbs stopped moving. "I may not understand passionate, romantic love, like at all, but I do understand the urge to protect someone. My Patronus is a big dog–loyal and protective. You asked a simple question and we shouldn't have jumped on you for not asking about me. Just don't be mad at James. He, like me, is fiercely loyal. Don't ask him to give up a friendship he's had for years."
"That's not what I'm asking."
"You could have been the most popular girl in our year but instead you stuck by Snape."
"I wasn't going to give up a longtime friendship just because everyone thought he was uncool."
"And when he turned out to be eyes-deep obsessed with the dark arts?"
"He was still my friend." Lily looked up glaring at Mandy.
"Do you talk to hear the sound of your voice or do you actually believe what you say?" Mandy asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Of course I believe—walked right into that one." She realized halfway into her answer what Mandy was doing.
"Yup. James never once asked you to give up your friendship with Snape, he may not have understood it, but he never asked you to give it up. Please, don't ask him to give up a relationship with someone you are friends with because you think we're too close. You want to take it out on me, fine, but I'm begging you don't be mad at James."
"I'm not mad at either one of you, Mandy. I am upset that he went after you, but I'm not mad."
"Do you want to know what we talked about?" Mandy asked.
"If you want to tell me," Lily answered. "I understand we haven't been close lately and if you don't want to tell me, I'll get that." Mandy let a slow breath then told Lily everything she had told James minus her worries about her animagus form but she also admitted how angry she had felt lately. Lily looked at her when she finished. Then she walked over to Mandy and hugged her tight. "Here I am freaking out about N.E.W.T.s and James talking to you and you have so much more going on. I am so sorry."
"I didn't say that to make you feel bad."
"I know." Lily stepped back and studied at Mandy carefully. "Why do you feel so angry?"
"I don't know. My mother and father said that it could be just hormones. I mean I'm seventeen and I'm pregnant so their bound to be off the scales. That's why I get so defensive. From now on though I'm going to try not to, but it won't be easy. You have been an amazing friend even though I haven't been and I feel so bad. I am so sorry, Lily."
"It's alright. I don't quite understand what you're going through, I'm obviously not pregnant, but I can try to put it in perspective. I do have one question. Why not tell all this to Sirius?"
"Sirius doesn't quite understand the way James does."
"Why not?"
"We don't share the same bond. I think I'm falling in love with Sirius, but James and I share a bond that Sirius can't even touch."
"I'm trying to understand your relationship with those boys, Mandy, but it's not simple."
"We can work with trying. I'm sorry I ruined the party."
"It's okay. I can tell James wasn't having much fun at the party. He cares about you. You're a lucky girl."
"He cares about you too; has since the day he met you. He has a type."
"I guess we're both lucky."
"Yeah," Mandy answered.
"Did you really think I was going to hurt you?" Lily asked. At Mandy's confused look, Lily waved a hand towards Mandy's belly.
"I don't know. There was a chance and I couldn't ..."
"I would have never forgotten about your gift. I'm not that stupid."
"I never said you were. I was just worried. Thoughts run through me that aren't sensible, but are a fear that I have."
"You don't have to fear this. I would never hurt you. Come on, have a seat." Mandy and Lily sat down on Lily's bed and spent the next couple hours talking about everything. When the rest of the girls came into the dorm for bed Mandy and Lily had a better understanding of each other and Lily wasn't so against Mandy and James being so close. The next morning Chris returned with the book she asked for and she gave it to James. He thanked her but still refused to tell her why he wanted the book.
There you have it. All I'm asking for is one review. Just one review and I'll post the next chapter the same day. Come on you guys, nearly 15 of you are at least clicking on the chapter please tell me what you think.