Chapter 2

Rated M

Charlie was so pissed, he couldn't speak. He sat on the step on the back porch of the Black's house. He wanted to leave. He really wanted to leave, but there was no way he could get behind the wheel of a car in his mental state. At least, he had enough wits about him to know that.

Vampires. Werewolves. No, shape shifters, they'd said. Ultimately, it was secret after secret. Lie after lie. Not just his daughter, everyone around him pretty much. The trail of betrayal was long.

Sitting next to Charlie was Bella. She sat, staring out into the forest. She hadn't spoken since Billy started talking. First, she listened closely. Following the legends so that Charlie was up to speed with everyone else. Then, as Billy explained what Carlisle had told them on the walk, she began to shut down. Her heart shattered and her brain stopped all but autonomic functions.

Billy and Embry sat in the kitchen, staring out the screen door at them. Making sure that when either of them snapped out of it, someone was there. It had been 6 hours that they sat unmoving.

"Should I try to move her?" Embry asked.

"Not yet. Let's wait and see," Billy said, unsure of what to do. He rolled to Jacob's room and noticed that Jake was awake, staring at the ceiling.

"Is it true?" Jake whispered.

"I believe him. Yes," Billy answered.

"How is she?"

"She hasn't moved from the back porch for 6 hours."

Jake groaned and tried to get up from the bed.

"Jacob! No! You mustn't get up! Stay, please."

"Dad, I need to see her. If you don't want me to get up, then you'd better figure out how to get her in here."

"I'll try," Billy whispered as he left the room. "You stay in bed."

"Bella, honey, Jacob is awake. He's asking for you. Do you want to go in and see him?" Billy asked from the back door. Bella remained unmoving.

Embry sighed in frustration. Then he went and picked her up. He was waiting for her to flail and scream at him. What terrified him more was that her body was limp. She didn't fight him at all. It was hard to pick up a floppy dead weight, even for a shape shifter. But he managed.

When he entered Jake's room, Jake gasped. She looked dead. If he couldn't hear her heartbeat and respirations, he would swear she was.

"Bells? Honey, you want to sit with me?" he asked gently.

There was no response. Embry helped the two get situated, first setting Bella down and then helping Jacob get scooched over before putting Bella on the bed next to him. Bella laid with her eyes on the ceiling. She didn't move at all.

Embry left and Jacob tried talking to Bella. She didn't answer him. He wasn't sure if she could hear him. He decided to talk to her anyway. Gently, he picked up her hand that laid between them and threaded his fingers with hers. Her skin was freezing and she didn't squeeze back. He held their connected hands on his stomach and brushed the fingers of his free hand over hers. Tracing down each finger and over the knuckle before moving on to the next one.

"I'm really sorry, Bells. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I don't think I can say anything. But I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," he told her.

Eventually, he dozed off. While his arms relaxed in sleep, their hands stayed connected.

"No! Edward! No! Come back! Come back! I didn't get to say good-bye. I didn't say good-bye!" Bella woke Jake with her shrill crying. He couldn't get up or turn himself over, but he could grab her and pull her close. She laid half on his chest sobbing.

"It's okay, Bells. It's okay."

"He's dead, Jake. I didn't even get to say good-bye! He knew he was going to die and he made me leave," she cried.

"He protected you, Bella. That night before the newborn battle. He said all that he wanted was for you to be happy. That was his priority over everything. Dying at the hands of the Volturi or being changed against your will wouldn't have made either of you happy," Jake spoke, trying to assure her.

"He didn't give me a choice. He decided for me. How did he know I didn't want to be changed?"

"It sounds like there wasn't time. I don't know if he would have given you a choice or not. But Sam said that there was a vision from Alice and then Carlisle and Edward were pushing for you to leave. It doesn't sound like there was a choice other than to save you."

"Why did they all leave? They left me again," Bella whimpered, falling back into a fitful sleep. Jake put up with the pain of her laying with him. He wouldn't want her to be anywhere else right now.

Jake struggled with his feelings of Edward's death. One part of him, admittedly a big part of him, was relieved to have the bloodsucker out of the picture. Yet, they'd made a tentative peace that night in the tent. Jacob understood the other man better and he knew that the one thing they had in common was that they both wanted Bella to be happy for the rest of her life. Jacob was surprised to learn that Edward hadn't wanted Bella to change. He was sure that was what made Edward push Bella to leave with the wolves at the last minute. In the end, he decided that he was sad for Bella. That she would have to deal with the grief of losing Edward and his family, as they vowed to stay out of her life to protect her.

It was going to be a rough time all around. He was not looking forward to the next few months. It was different before when Edward left because there was always the hope that he would return-which he did. Now they all knew he wasn't coming back, he couldn't come back.

Over the next few months, it was déjà vu for Jacob and Charlie. Bella turned into the shell of herself. Though this time, Charlie knew why and he refused to leave the Black's house. He would not allow Bella to be left alone. They worked out an uncomfortable arrangement. Charlie slept on the couch and Bella slept in the twins' old bedroom. But on the nights she woke up screaming, instead of Charlie rushing in, it would be Jacob. Sometimes, Charlie would watch from the doorway as he calmed her. Other times, he would lay on the couch and pray that his daughter would find a way to cope.

Slowly, Jacob brought Bella back to life again. In the beginning, it was small steps. Together they took walks on the beach. They would go at night because Bella did not want to accidentally run into anyone and hear their apologies for Edward's sudden death. When Jacob would work in the garage, Bella would sit on the couch reading or staring out the window.

If it weren't for Jake, Bella probably would have starved herself. He made her protein smoothies in the beginning and would coax every swallow down her throat. One day, Bella refused the smoothie, saying they were gross. Jacob furious made her a chocolate milk shake instead. When he brought it back, she tried to refuse it. He told her that if she was going to starve herself, then she could do it somewhere else. He was not going to watch her slowly die. At first she took two small sips and left the glass on the table, but it was good and her stomach won out. She finished the entire thing.

Much to the relief of everyone around them, this seemed to be the turning point for Bella. Every now and then, Jacob would tease and ask Bella if she'd like a smoothie. She'd smile, shake her head no, and take out the chocolate ice cream and the blender.

When they realized they weren't going to go back to the Forks house, they started working on expanding Jake and Billy's little red house. Bella would sit on a bench Jake had made for her and watch every day as different members of the pack came to help on the project. She even began making lunches for them to keep busy. College was not an option at that point for her.

As the house neared finishing, so did the first anniversary of Edward's death. Jake was unsure of how to proceed with Bella and Charlie had even talked to him about keeping things low-key.

A solution came to Jacob and he talked about it with the pack. They agreed that Jacob had come up with a good plan. They helped him to set things in motion. While Jake took Bella out for the surprise, they would stay in the shadows to guard them. It was the first time Bella would be leaving Quileute territory since that fateful day.

"Hey, Bella, I have a surprise for you today," Jake told her while she laid in bed. He laid next to her. She'd had a bad night and he'd been there most of the night.

"I don't want to go anywhere today," she said, her voice laced with sadness.

"Can you do this for me? One thing. It'll just be the two of us."

"I guess but I don't want to be out long, and I'm not getting dressed up."

"Okay, honey."

An hour later, Jacob laid his body flat on the ground. Bella slid down and walked around to the wolf's snout. It was the first time she had ridden the wolf and it had been quite a long time since she had seen him phased. Her hands caressed softly over his fur. Then she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his.

"Why'd you bring me here, Jake?" she whimpered.

He nudged her so that she would back up and he could phase back. He knew that the wolves were surrounding them but were hidden in the trees. He figured Bella would want to grieve in private but her safety was paramount. Once she was back far enough, he shifted back and pulled on his shorts.

"Come on," he told her, grabbing her hand. "I have something I want you to see."

Jacob walked her over to the headstone they'd gotten for Edward. It didn't have his name on it. The stone was flat and flush with the ground. Anyone that didn't know it was there would have a hard time finding it. It simply said:

Gone, but never forgotten.

You'll live in my heart forever.

The moment Bella read the words, she burst into full-on sobs. She knelt down on the ground and her hands grasped handfuls of grass and dirt. Jacob stepped back and gave her room.

"No! It's not fair. It's not fair. There were things I wanted to tell you. Did you already know? Is that why you did this? You didn't give me a chance to explain. I wanted to explain that I loved you, that I would always love you. What if I had decided to be changed and not stay human? You didn't give me the chance to explain!"

Once her crying began to slow, Jacob walked up behind her and brushed his hand down her back. Her face was against the headstone.

"I'm sorry to have upset you, Bells. I thought you'd want to have a memorial place for him."

Bella sat up and took in a deep breath. She looked around the clearing and thought about all of the horror that occurred in that spot.

"Thank you, Jake. This really means a lot to me. But, I hope you understand, I don't ever want to come back here again. Let's go." Standing, Bella walked back to the cover of the trees and waited for Jake to phase. Her face was still streaked with tear tracks. Jacob stood in front of her and gently cupped her face. His thumbs dried her tears and he pulled her into his chest for a hug.

"Do you want me to move the stone?" he asked, quietly.

"No, Jake. It should stay here. This was where he died."

They went back to the house, but instead of phasing, Jake picked Bella up and carried her. She kept her arms wrapped tightly around him. After he put her down in the house, she went to her room and closed the door without a sound.

Charlie asked to speak with Bella after dinner. Timidly, she followed him out onto the porch. He handed her an envelope with perfect cursive on the outside. Carefully, Bella slid her finger under the flap and opened it. It was a letter from Alice.

Dearest Bella,

I hope this letter finds you well. I haven't been able to see your future since before the newborn battle began. But I have a feeling you know that. It has taken us all awhile to deal with the shock of Edward's punishment. We don't take to change very well.

Anyway, as the first year has arrived, I've been thinking back on that day. I want you to know that Edward was not aware that you had changed your mind. Something happened on the mountain that made your future disappear. However, Edward wasn't close enough to see what I did. He did not see that your beautiful vampire transformation vanished and the wedding plans were gone.

Once Jane had decided to come visit, he thought that meant you were in danger. That is why he insisted you go. He was sure that you would not walk away from the meeting. Of course, when Jane showed up, I saw what she had decided. I tried to stop her, but she used her powers against me. I couldn't break free from her.

I know that Edward wanted you to be happy more than anything in his life. So please, let him go. Move on with your life, and please be happy.

Love always,

Alice

Bella sat on the porch with more tears streaming down her face. She didn't think it was possible to have enough water to make so many tears. With a deep sigh, she folded the letter and put it back in the thick envelope. Going back in the house, she walked to the kitchen. She set the envelope on the table and took the ice cream, milk and blender out. Jake stepped up behind her and grabbed two of their favorite shake mugs. He set them on the counter and sat at the table waiting for her. In a well-practiced routine, she scooped, poured, and blended. Then she poured the shakes and grabbed two straws from the box and put them in the cups before bringing them to the table. Jake had the whipped cream ready and he squirted on top of both shakes, adding a cherry only to his.

"There's something I need to tell you about that morning on the mountain, Jake."

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