I just want you guys to know that this chapter was written long before we/I knew that Sirius's birthday was in November hence why here his birthday is April 8th instead of November 3rd like JKR just released on twitter.

Big, big, very big thank you to EternalVeritie who even though very busy had time to give me my first review after 6 chapters. Thank you so much.

Chapter 26: To Begin Anew

Mandy woke up shortly before lunch, angry she had once again fallen for the sleeping potion in her juice, but relieved she'd at least make it to her afternoon class.

"Do you think," Erin started, "that reacting the way Stripes did caused you to admit that you loved dad?"

"I think that part of me began to explore that side of myself, those emotions I didn't want to feel," Mandy answered, "but there was still the part of me, a greater part, that didn't want to admit anything of the sort. You see back then, unlike James and Lily, I thought that romantic love was a big weakness; that it could get people killed. You get attached you get hurt. They can find some way to use that person to get to you. I knew James could take care of himself and Lily, he'd die before anything happened to Lily, but Sirius I wasn't quite as confident in."

"Thanks a lot," Sirius said plainly.

"Back then," Mandy stressed. "You eventually proved yourself and that's what it took for me to really trust and accept that part of me. Proof that he was willing to stand by my side and help me but not try to keep me out of things. The last thing I wanted from a guy I was in love with was one who couldn't let me stand on my own two feet. I was worried about him seeing me as this damsel in distress."

"What's wrong with playing a damsel in distress? Every girl likes a hero right?" Devin asked. Sirius laughed as Mandy raised an eyebrow. "Well obviously not you, Mum, you're always the tough, hard as nails, kind of woman, and I respect you for that, but certainly there's a part of you that has always dreamed of her white knight riding in to save the day like those fairy tales you used to read Erin."

"I do admit that for some girls it's a turn on but for me I'm more like Mulan than Sleeping Beauty. I don't need some guy rushing in to rescue me and for a lot of that year I was trying to prove myself and one way of doing that was to deny that I needed or loved him. With the talk I had with my parents, James, and Stripes's unusual reaction to Padfoot, I slowly came to realize that falling in love and being with Sirius didn't make me weaker, it made me stronger. However the pregnancy and the hormones, made it hard to see that. I didn't really see it until probably at the end of my pregnancy."

"Did you ever think you could love Sirius?" Harry asked.

"I knew I loved him, deep down, I just couldn't admit it the way I could admit that I loved your dad as a brother. James and I knew from an early age that he and I were not suited to romantically love each other. The person James loved had to be fiery and passionate and most of all kind and that wasn't who I was at that point. I was an angry, bottled up, but still very passionate teenager and it didn't mix. It was almost like matches and gasoline. It took very little to set me off back then but Sirius persisted and eventually I was able to admit how I felt for him and how much I needed him in my life." Since Mandy had endeavored to raise Erin and Devin in a partially muggle household they knew just as much muggle things and sayings as they did magical. Meg on the other hand had been raised the way Hermione Granger had with absolutely nothing magical until she had turned eleven. Mike had given up his magic when he had fallen in love with a muggle shortly after school.

April Fool's Day passed without much notice, well no more than usual as the Marauders and the rest of the school were in rare form pranking all over the place. It was, as McGonagall liked to call it, organized chaos and the professors just let most of the harmless pranks slide. Though they tried to prevent them or stop them, there were just too many pranks going on to catch every single one. It seemed a little out of character for the professors, but as the saying went, if you can't beat them they should have fun. Or something like that.

A week later was Sirius's birthday. Once again there was a party and Mandy watched most of this one from her overstuffed armchair near the fire. She could tell how much her boyfriend was enjoying it but every now and then he'd glance back over at her almost as if hoping she'd come to him and enjoy the party by his side.

"You not feeling it?" James asked. He was standing beside her chair as if appearing out of nowhere but Mandy knew he was just good at not making a lot of noise. It came from being a pranking Marauder.

Mandy sighed as she looked up at him. "I try, but this gift has me all out of whack. I feel depressed when I shouldn't and happy when I shouldn't and I know he hates it."

"He's worried about you. That's all there is."

"I should just go upstairs."

"You do that and he'll feel worse," James said.

"So what do you want me to do?" Mandy asked sadly.

"Go, talk to him. Or at the very least go stand by him. Let him try to comfort you. Even if all he does is try to hold you," James told her.

"Thanks." Mandy got up and walked over to Sirius sliding an arm around his waist. Sirius looked away from his conversation and at Mandy. He smiled and pulled her to his side, hugging her close. He kept one arm around her as he went back to his conversation. Mandy leaned against him barely listening to the conversation. Instead she thought back over the past week and wondered if Stripes had been right. Was showing her love a good thing? Mandy had always feared that showing love meant showing your weakness, but perhaps part of her didn't believe that. She just wished she knew how it would turn out if she did admit how she really felt.

"You okay?" Sirius asked when the other two he was talking to walked away. His question brought her out of her thoughts but she wasn't sure she had a positive answer for him.

"Just ... I don't know."

"It's okay you know," Sirius said, "whatever you're feeling. Come on."

"Where are we going?" Mandy asked softly.

"Upstairs. There is really only one person I want to spend my birthday with."

Mandy nodded and they went upstairs. They curled up on Sirius's bed and Mandy laid her head on his chest as she removed the glamour charm from her stomach.

Sirius held her close as his heart sank in his chest. As much as he loved being with her, there really was no one he'd rather spend his birthday with, he didn't like that she wasn't happy. To Sirius, Mandy deserved to be happy. He wanted to do everything in his power to cheer her up but he knew that this pregnancy was wreaking havoc on her emotions. He felt so bad for her but he couldn't tell her that. If he told her that she'd get angry and if she got angry it wouldn't be good. His best bet was to hold her and try to cheer her up. Before he could speak she did.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. Looks like all I can do is ruin birthday parties," Mandy said.

"You didn't do it on purpose, Mandy," Sirius answered as he slid his hand down to the baby bump. "Are you okay?"

"I feel—I don't know if I feel bad or if I don't feel anything at all, but this should be the greatest time of my life and instead—"

"Instead you're feeling like it's just another day, every day. You're not excited by anything. You just feel so bland."

"Yeah, exactly. How do you know?"

"I've told you, I love you." Sirius tipped her chin up so she'd look at him. "And since I love you I notice things. Things that no one else would and I am here for you. I may not understand the way James does, but I am here for you." He had been watching her for weeks as she walked around in nearly a daze, almost like her mind wasn't really there. She had been like this after Mr. Potter's death but it only stuck around for about a week before she had returned to her normal self.

"Just hold me?" Mandy asked. Sirius nodded and wrapped both arms back around Mandy. They lay there in silence, both lost in their own thoughts until the other boys came up to bed. Mandy softly kissed Sirius good night and then went to bed on her own. Sunday passed slowly but Mandy was glad that Sirius hadn't made a big deal of their time spent together Saturday night. It was almost as if he could sense that she didn't want to talk about how she had been feeling. Part of her was glad for that but the rest of her was surprised he didn't even tell the rest of the boys.

Sunday night Mandy went to bed and was once again shocked awake by a dream. This time there was no going back to sleep, no trying to calm down, this time she knew she'd need someone to calm her down. She raced down the stairs and before she knew it she was in the boys' dormitory. This time instead of trying to wake the occupant of the bed, she just curled up next to him. Thankfully though, he was a light sleeper and was up the minute she slid under the covers. His arms instantly wrapped around her and his nose pressed against the top of her head. That's when he realized she was crying as she buried her face into his chest.

"I'm sorry," Mandy whispered, "I'm so sorry. I—"

"Hey now, none of that," he answered, "just tell me what happened."

"I had another nightmare. He made me watch as he tortured them. It was so painful. My parents. I—I had—my parents. So painful, so strong..." Mandy whimpered.

"It's going to be okay. I'm here for you. I love you, they died to save you." He tried to find the words to calm her down.

"Please Sirius." She wasn't sure what she wanted from him but she needed him to help her. She snuggled closer to her boyfriend and he held her, whispering soft words in her ear. As he did so part of his mind was spinning. This was the first time Mandy had ever come to him first before James even. Either something completely terrible had happened, given the dream she had it was possible, or perhaps she trusted him just as much as James. "My parents. They died before I could tell them, before I had—I have to—"

"Shhh, it's alright, I'm here. You don't have to say it."

"But I didn't—I had to tell—I wanted to—I needed—They died before I could tell them—Before—I didn't tell—"

"It's okay. They knew," Sirius assured her. One of the biggest things James had worried about after his father had died was if Marco had known how much James loved him. If Mandy was feeling the same, then he just had to remind her that they were parents and all parents knew that their kids loved them. Especially Mandy's parents. He had only met the Hunters once at a Christmas party during his sixth year but he could see how much her parents had cared for her and how much she had loved them.

"I love them. So much. He destroyed them. He tore them to pieces. I loved them and I never told them."

Once again his heart broke for her. He really couldn't imagine losing someone that he cared that much about. Especially not parents. Sure it had hurt when Mr. Potter had died, but Sirius hadn't actually seen him as a father. He had been more like an older brother or really good friend than a father. "They knew. They always knew. They loved you very much and they knew how much you loved them."

"But I never told them."

"They knew. Parents always know."

"I can't make that mistake again. Not telling them how much I love them."

"Tell your parents?"

"No, telling everyone how I feel about them. I can't say..." Mandy looked at him closely. "I can't say that I love you for sure but I know that I do care about you and I am falling in love with you. You have always been so caring and understanding. You've stood by my side even as I tried to push you away. I never accepted how you felt, always tried to push you away, discounted how you felt, I never should have. Love is so precious—"

"Mandy, love is always forgiving."

"Will you just let me talk?" Mandy snapped. Then she looked down feeling bad. She shouldn't have snapped at him, even if he kept interrupting.

"Sorry," Sirius answered. He didn't take it to heart. He knew she was trying to tell him how she felt and it took a lot of strength on her part to do that. He needed to keep quiet until she was finished.

"Thank you. Love is such a precious gift, something that I did not realize until very recently. It's terrible. How can you love someone like me when I—"

Sometimes though, he couldn't help it. "Love isn't something you choose. Love is something you're blessed with. Love is magic. It protects you and shows you that not everything is what it seems. It makes everything worth it. Do you want to tell me what the dream was about besides your parents?"

It seemed like she didn't mind this time. "A while ago I had a nightmare, remember that?"

"About two weeks ago or so. Just before James's birthday." Sirius nodded as he stroked the sweat and tear soaked hair out of her face.

"That dream, I had just come down from my bedroom to get an after-dinner snack when I saw lights flash in the lounge. Just before I reached it two flashes of green lit up the doorway. My parents were dead. I watched them die. I know I wasn't actually there, but the dream felt so real. It was so vivid. Almost like I had seen it."

"Sometimes being told what happened can create a memory in your mind. Your imagination just fills in the rest. And tonight's dream?" He cupped her cheek trying to wipe away the tear tracks.

"Tonight it was about ... well largely the same thing. Well except this time, instead of going to the kitchen first, I headed straight for the lounge and found them. They were bound, on their knees, not making a sound but I don't know if that's because they were so strong or if it is because they were silenced. Either way. He made me watch as he tortured them. Finally after forever he killed them but watching them be tortured and them not being able to see me—"

"They couldn't see you?"

"Not a bit. It's like I could see and hear them but they couldn't see me at all. Not in the slightest."

"That's just awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Not like it's your fault."

"No, but at the same time I know it's terrible that you dreamt of something completely terrible."

"What do I do? I know it's just a dream, but if this is what's to come—"

"You take a deep breath. You relax and you rely on your training. You still want to be an Auror, correct?"

"Of course I do. But that doesn't mean that I want to face down Voldemort."

"Maybe not but you're still going to have to face down some pretty evil blokes. Hopefully you'll never have to see the face of Voldemort but if you do I know you'll be okay. I know you. You're strong and you have something he doesn't."

"What's that?"

"The drive to protect those you care about. Voldemort doesn't care about anything or anyone except his drive to power."

"How do you know that?"

"My father is a very proud wizard. Proud pureblood. He believes that muggles and muggleborn don't deserve magic. He believes that we should stick to the old way of doing things. Anyway, he lived through Grindelwald's reign of terror on the mainland. He uh—he came to realize something. Dark wizards don't care about anything. That's why they're so dark. They don't care who they hurt. All they care about is their rise to power. They'll use anyone they can to get there. They don't care," Sirius said firmly.

"Sirius, Voldemort ... that's not his real name."

"I know. It can't be. What kind of mother would name their kid that? In French it means fly from death," Sirius asked.

"You speak French?" Mandy answered.

"My parents thought every young aristocrat needs to be able to speak French and German. Need-less-to-say, I didn't pay much attention to German," Sirius said.

"It's an interesting language though. When I find out what it is, his name, you can guarantee that I'm going to find out everything I can about him and he will regret making me angry."

"Sounds about right. Now come on, let's get some sleep." Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of Mandy's head and then tucked the covers around them tightly. Mandy laid in silence for a while listening to the sounds of the boys breathing. Eventually it lulled her to sleep like a familiar lullaby.

As Sirius was just about asleep he heard a voice whisper "I love you" but it didn't sound like Mandy's voice. Instead it had almost a cat-like quality to it. It was almost like there was a purr behind it. Sirius looked around the room but didn't see anything so he shook it off and fell asleep.

Suddenly Mandy felt the couch begin to shake. She looked down and spotted Erin trembling next to her. It hit her like a typhoon what had just happened. "Come here baby," Mandy said pulling her daughter into her lap. "It's okay. It was scary but it was only a dream." Mandy stroked back her daughter's hair and held her close. Mandy had forgotten her youngest child was only eight. The story was getting scarier and it would be hard for the little one to hear.

Harry and George looked at the floor, Meg swallowed and Devin rolled his eyes. Sirius crossed the room to his son and knelt in front of him. Mandy couldn't hear what he was saying but knew that he was probably just explaining what was bothering Erin. "Mummy, was it really that bad?" Erin asked.

"It was just a dream, Sweetheart, and your dad made it all better," Mandy explained.

"How about I get you some warm milk, Little Bear?" Meg asked.

"Don't wanna sleep," Erin answered, shaking her head.

"Why don't you, George, and Harry go get some cookies and juice from the kitchen?" Mandy suggested. They all nodded and left the room. Devin stood and walked over to his sister.

"Mum, do you really think she's old enough to hear the rest of it?" Devin asked softly.

"Sweetie, it's only going to get scarier," Mandy said gently, looking at her daughter.

"But you fell in love," Erin said.

"But it was also a very dark time," Mandy said.

"I wanna hear it, please?" Erin asked.

"I was her age the first time I heard it," Devin said. "She can sit with me. I'll look after her."

"Devin," Sirius said.

"I promise, Dad. Come on, kiddo." Devin held his hand out to his sister and she took it. Mandy and Sirius exchanged looks but the both nodded, intending to keep a close eye on the young girl.

Devin led his sister over to his chair and Meg, George, and Harry came back with the cookies and juice. "Everything okay?" Harry asked.

"I think so. I know this is going to be tough on all of you. The story only gets darker from here. I will do my best to tell more happy times than sad and dark but we lived in a dark time and went through some pretty dark stuff. If it gets to be too much, please let me know, all of you," Mandy said. There were various answers of yes and yes ma'am and then the story continued.

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