Thanks to all of you who have read and continue to read. It would definitely help me out if you reviewed too but I'll take what I can get.

Chapter 27: Begin to Understand

"Mandy, Pads, time to get up," James called to wake them up. Mandy rolled on her back and opened her eyes to find the hangings drawn back around the bed and James was staring down at them. "You've never struck me as the type to come looking for a midnight snuggle unless ..." James trailed off and swallowed. There really was only one reason Mandy would seek comfort in the middle of the night. That reason was a nightmare but that was unlikely because she hadn't come to him and she always came to him.

"Unless ... exactly," Mandy confirmed.

James swallowed at the implication. His best friend had a nightmare and hadn't come to him first. He wasn't sure what this meant for their friendship. Before worrying about that, James knew he had to make sure his very good friend was okay. That was the most important thing. "Was it terrible?"

"Like last time only this time he tortured them too."

"How do you feel?"

"Angry, scared, okay I guess."

"You know my bed is warm too," he offered hoping she'd get the hint.

She got it loud and clear. "I know."

"You went to him first."

"Are you angry?"

"No. A little hurt and a bit upset but not steamed. You went to him; I'm proud of you. You've come so far." Though he was concerned about the nightmare, he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn't mad and it was a good thing she went to Sirius. It meant her heart was opening more and more. That was a really good thing.

"Really?" Looks like she didn't see that.

"My sweet little Panda Bear is growing up and I can understand that means going to him first. Now come on we've got class today."

"We have a free period right after breakfast," Mandy corrected.

"Okay, but right after that we have McGonagall so don't be late," James answered.

"Don't you want breakfast?" Peter asked from across the room.

"Yes, well I suppose that would be good. However we do know where the kitchens are so don't worry about us."

The boys nodded and left the room. Mandy on the other hand yanked the hanging shut and rolled back over to Sirius. His grip tightened as he slowly woke up. "Morning beautiful," he said softly. "You're not ready to get up are you?"

"Do you know today's date?" Mandy asked.

"It's Monday, April ... April 10th," Sirius said after a moment.

"It's been exactly one year since my parents died. I don't want to go to class. Skive off with me?"

"Your parents wouldn't want you to wallow."

"I'm not wallowing, I'm properly grieving for once and asking that my boyfriend comfort and support me."

"You had me at skive." Sirius grinned. Once Mandy was sure they were alone in the room she called Chris and he brought them breakfast. Mandy thanked the elf like she always did and Sirius stared in shock. "You speak to him like he's human."

"I know he's not but my daddy always said that a true measure of a man can be seen in how he treats his inferiors not his equals. I also know that though most wizards treat house elves like inferiors, they shouldn't be. Just look at all they can do. Have you ever had to clean a home by hand? Made dinner without magic?"

"No."

"So you understand what I mean? If you treat a house elf well it can change their entire attitude."

"You saying I don't?"

"No, not at all. Didn't mean to sound that way either," Mandy answered placing a hand on Sirius's cheek. She swallowed, hoping she hadn't offended him. He looked at her and smiled. She hadn't offended him at all. He completely understood where she was coming from. Mandy smiled back. "I was brought up thinking and being taught that Chris was part of the family. Even though he's a servant, he is a servant who loves serving for the pure pleasure of serving. One should treat them kindly and well or it could end poorly."

Sirius nodded. "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Makes sense though. You want this last piece of muffin?" Mandy leaned towards him and he slipped the last of the muffin in her mouth. She swallowed it then pressed her lips to his. "Love you," Sirius whispered.

"You too," Mandy answered.

He kissed her again knowing that even though she hadn't said that she loved him, she was getting closer to feeling it. They spent the rest of the day in bed and once classes were over James returned to the dormitory and looked at them disappointedly. "We know, we know," Sirius answered.

"I wasn't going to say anything," James said.

"Yes, you were. You were going to tell us how disappointed you are that we skived off classes today," Sirius argued.

"I am a little disappointed. If Mandy doesn't feel good that's her thing but both of you ... You should have seen McGonagall's face when she realized who wasn't there."

"Do you realize what today is, James?" Sirius asked very quietly. There was a dangerous edge in his tone. He loved James like a brother but he wasn't going to let anyone take anything out on Mandy.

"Monday," James answered.

"The date."

"The tenth of April. Two days after your birthday. Don't you remember your birthday?"

"And on this date last year, what happened?"

"Last year?" James asked confused. He thought about it for a moment. "I'm sorry," James told them. He perched on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on Mandy's shoulder. "I should have known it was a tough day for you and been understanding instead of expecting everything to be okay."

Mandy looked up at him. "Have you seen my brother today?" Mandy asked softly.

"Come to think of it I haven't. I heard from some sixth years that his class was canceled today."

"The first year is always the hardest," Sirius added. "Remember how we were after Christmas?"

On the one year anniversary after Mr. Potter's death, James and Sirius didn't want to do anything and spent the entire day lounging around the Common Room. "I said I was sorry alright? Why does it keep coming to this?" James stood up in a huff and paced the room. Mandy looked back at Sirius who smiled sympathetically.

"Mate, it's fine. No harm done," Sirius told him.

"Why don't I trust you, Mandy? Why do I keep—"

"James," Mandy cut him off as she rolled out from under the covers and planted her feet on the floor. She stood up and walked over to him and placed both hands on his shoulders. "Responsibility does weird things to people. Like you said we're growing up and that means that we have to be more responsible and do the right thing."

"Or maybe you were right up in the tower."

"Right how?" Sirius asked, pushing himself up on his elbows to look at the pair.

"She said she was worried about us growing apart. I can't let that happen. I'll go get some dinner from the kitchens and then we can spend the next couple hours together," James declared.

"No!" Mandy answered, shaking her head.

"Oh ... okay." James was definitely disappointed.

"I'll just call Chris and have him bring us some dinner." Mandy smirked. She wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tight. "You're over-thinking it again."

"Perhaps I forgot you had access to a house elf here," he suggested as he hugged her back.

Once Mandy was certain dinner had been served in the Great Hall, she called the elf.

"Young Miss called?" Chris asked, bowing lowly in front of Mandy.

"I did," Mandy answered, kneeling in front of him. "How are you holding up, dear? I know today is a tough day."

"Chris is doing well, Miss."

"Chris, it's okay to miss them. My parents were kind to you and would want to make sure you're okay too," Mandy coaxed.

"Chris does miss them very much, Miss, but there is all kinds of work to do so Chris doesn't dwell on them."

"Have you seen my brother today?"

"No, Miss."

"Do you know if he's eaten today?"

"I do not believe so."

"Can you do me a favor?"

Chris's eyes lit up and he nodded fervently. "Yes, Miss, anything you require."

"Would you mind sending us up some turkey and ham sandwiches and some crisps and take my brother a bit of Shepherd's pie and make sure he eats it. If he has a problem with that tell him that I demand he eats it?"

"Chris would be honored. Anything else you need, Miss?" The little elf asked.

Mandy looked at the boys who shrugged. "Pumpkin juice for three and that will be all. Thank you."

"Thank you, Miss, and I'm sorry about your parents."

"Thank you," Mandy answered. The elf disappeared with a small crack and Mandy crawled back onto the bed with Sirius as James sat across the end of the bed.

"Speaking of your family," James said, "I finally got the time to read that book all the way through a couple times."

"Finally? You've had it for like three weeks," Mandy protested.

"Two and between homework and head duties, I've barely had time to read it as thoroughly as I needed. Anyway it's only like two sentences long and not extensively studied but the book does touch on it."

"What book?" Sirius asked confused. He lifted his pillows to prop them against the headboard then leaned back against them letting the covers fall to his waist. Then he wrapped his arms around Mandy.

"It's a rare book on Animagus transformations. Her family has had it for generations. It says that there is a chance that while pregnant a witch may find herself incapable of transforming due to the extras mass or the inborn instinct to protect the growing fetus," James explained what he had found.

"You think that explains it?" Mandy questioned.

"I think it's as close to an explanation as we're going to get even if you don't like it." James shrugged.

Mandy thought it over and it did make sense but it wasn't enough to confirm it completely. That drove her crazy. How was it possible that there wasn't much study done on the subject of pregnancy rendering an Animagus incapable of transforming? Then again being an Animagus was super rare so Mandy could understand that. Mandy looked at Sirius and his eyes were narrowed at her. She knew instantly where his mind was going. "Stop right there. Just because James came up with a reason to explain my inability to transform doesn't mean I ran straight to him when I found out I couldn't. I haven't been able to transform since December. You never asked about it or even probably noticed."

"I noticed, I just didn't mention it, but you still told him before you told me." Sirius growled, pulling away from her. Mandy also pulled back and stared at him.

"You want to be honest about it, I told Remus first. He kinda dragged it out of me but I told him first. So be mad at him or at yourself for not bringing it up. You could say something."

"Can we not do this?" James asked.

"Why would you go to Remus first?" Sirius snapped. He seriously wasn't happy. He was angrier than Mandy had seen him in a long time. He was sick of finding things out like this and being the last to know. She was his girlfriend; he should have been her first call.

"I didn't want to. I thought I could figure it out myself and none of you would have to know. Then one day a couple weeks ago, Remus pulls me into this very dorm and forced me to talk about it." Mandy looked down at her lap and tugged at the end of her shirt. "I didn't want to tell him but he kept asking and I felt like I owed him. That's why we became Animagi, to help him. I at least owed him an explanation. Then with James, we were talking about everything that was bothering me the night of his birthday and it sorta came out." Mandy explained sheepishly, not looking at him.

Sirius raked his hands through his short hair then tugged at it a bit. He looked from Mandy's sad and guilty face to his best friend's nervous and anxious looking one. It looked like neither one wanted to be there at that moment. Sirius had two options. First he could be severely angry and lash out and get James's bad and protective side jumping down his throat or option two he could be understanding and realize that Mandy had never been the type to come to anyone seeking help or reassurance unless she knew that there was no other option. It was time he put a little faith in his girlfriend and be understanding. It typically wasn't his style but he knew Mandy and he knew James. This was the point where trying something new could help.

"I should be so angry with both of you," he let out a deep sigh as he looked away from James and at Mandy. "I should be insulted and I should give up on ever expecting to be your first instinct, Mandy. It really stings that you keep going to James before me, however I'm starting to understand exactly the kind of relationship the two of you have. You trust him, more than you could ever trust me and while that does hurt," he lifted her chin as he looked back at her, "I've come to understand it. I wish you would trust me, at least take the chance and try to trust me, but you trust somebody who is a very good man and a man that I trust with my life. A man I trust with your life. While I am angry that you don't trust me like you trust him, even though I love you very much, I know that if you were ever in danger he would tell me."

"Of course I would," James answered sincerely.

"And that's why I trust him with you," Sirius said.

"I do trust you, Sirius. I came to your first last night, didn't I?" Mandy asked.

"You did, but that was a nightmare. A dream that while based on things that happened, didn't actually happen in the context your mind put together. You don't trust me with the big stuff. I am here for you when you do trust me, but at least try."

Mandy averted her gaze feeling properly ashamed. He had been there for her for everything and never made any huge accusations even though he could have and she couldn't even tell him the little things that were bothering her.

"Look at me, please?" Sirius said softly. Mandy looked back at him as he still had her chin in his hand. "Thank you. It's just a suggestion and a request, not a demand. If you still want to go to him first to see what he thinks then I will accept that but I don't like finding things out like this. Not it just coming up in conversation like he thinks you already told me and like you were never going to tell me on your own." Mandy nodded and Sirius leaned forward and kissed her softly then Chris returned with their food.

"Do you know how hard it is to break a habit?" Mandy asked once they set the food on the bed and the elf left to see to her brother.

"Yeah." Sirius nodded.

"Then give me time." Mandy finished. Sirius nodded again knowing that from now on things should be better for them. Mandy on the other hand knew things would get worse once she told him what she had done behind his back. Telling Sirius she had told Regulus about the baby wouldn't be easy or pretty but it had to be done, soon. It wouldn't be fair to him otherwise.

When Chris saw to Jason, the man did not want to eat and tried to order the elf to go and leave him alone. Chris wrung his tiny hands nervously then told Jason how his sister was worried about him and the elf didn't want to get in the middle of an argument between the siblings. Jason instantly felt bad for letting Mandy down and did his best to choke down at least half of it; to make his sister happy and because he was a little hungry. Chris was pleased with Jason's progress and this time when dismissed from the room he left without complaint.

I hope this clears some things up for those of you who wonder why Sirius is okay with Mandy going to James. Please help me and review telling me anything you do or don't like about this story.