Chapter 8
God gave me you for the ups and downs.
God gave me you for the days of doubt.
For when I think i've lost my way, there are no words here left to say.
It's true, God gave me you.
Riley stopped and stared at the radio, Lucas quit leaning on the wall and stood up straighter, while Mr. Matthews didn't move a muscle. "Keep going." The brunette turned her head to glance at him. He reached for her hand and spun her around again. They started to slow dance and no matter how much Cory wanted to, he prevented himself from breaking them apart and removed himself from the situation. "You okay?"
"If I said no?"
"Then we can change the song. I know it reminds you of him though." His lips kissed the top of her head. "If you said yes, then I would tell you to consider using this song for nationals."
"You're pushing awful hard."
"I would call it suggesting." He whispered. "It gets easier I promise." The brunette sauntered towards the radio and turned it off.
"Lucas, do you mind if I asked what happened to Lily? If you don't want to tell me I understand, I just-" She cut herself off, not knowing what she was going to say, the dancer really wanted to learn more about him.
"I know, I do the same thing, wanting to know everything about you." The emerald eyed man sat on the floor and she sat in his lap. "I had been driving for a few months and since my mom was working late and my dad was nowhere to be found I went to pick her up from a friends house." Riley held his hand, and he kissed her cheek. "Drunk driver ran a red light and ran into the passenger door, I was in my moms car so it flipped from his heavy truck. She died at the wreck."
"I'm so sorry. I wish I had been around."
"It isn't your fault." He whispered. "It wasn't mine, no matter how much my dad and I argued, or how much I fought with myself it wasn't. I wish you could've been around too, but i'm not the same person I once was. You may not have liked me back then. It took you awhile to like me now, and i'd like to think i'm a decent guy."
"No judgements. Besides if we ever do date then I won't have to worry about people messing with me." His warm lips touched her hand, sending butterflies through Riley.
"You don't have to worry about that now. Hey, one place in the world you could runaway to? Ready, set, go!"
"Um, the beach. I used to take Aug there all the time. He loved how peaceful it was, no doctors or people asking how he was, it was just me and him. There's one about an hour away from here." The brunette let out a big yawn to hide the fact she was crying.
"Sleepy?" She tucked her head into his neck and nodded, this was the most physical activity she'd done in awhile and since she hasn't been eating, the dancer was pretty exhausted. "Well, why don't you lay down and take a small nap and i'll make us some food?"
"I'm not-"
Lucas cut her off. "Hungry, blah blah, just lay down and you can eat when you get up."
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"Hey Riley, i'm so sorry." Riley's morning had been filled with apologies, and condolences from people she didn't even know. The brunette wasn't sure if she hated it or if she was proud of the fact that her little brother touched so many people. She opened her locker and set her elbows on the inside to lean and glanced to the door. There he was, the face she tried so often to avoid, but couldn't escape. She rolled her lips in and grabbed the picture off of the magnet. Her fingers traced his face as she slid down the lockers and sat on the floor.
"I miss you." A few tears managed to escape and the only person she wanted right now was across the school getting ready for practice.
"Hey peaches. You okay?" Maya sat beside her and stroked her hair. "If you aren't ready to see him you don't have to look at that picture I can hold onto it for you."
Her eyes closed again and she shed tears freely. "That's just it. I so desperately want to see him, but when I look at a picture and realize this is all I have left, it kills me." Farkle sat down in front of her.
"You still have your memories, all those amazing moments you spent together." Farkle mumbled and took her hands.
"It's not enough. I mean is it selfish of me to want him here, with me?" Neither of her friends answered, she inhaled slowly letting her chin shake. "I know this isn't the time or the place for me to break down like this, but why? Why him? What did he ever do to anyone to deserve this?"
"My mom says, God was wanting him home sooner. To put him to work in other people's lives. He was just wanting his angel to come home." The blonde uttered.
"He could've done that here. He could've helped people here."
"Not to his fullest." He cleared his throat. "Because he was sick, he couldn't do the things that maybe God intended for him."
"I am so mad." Her hands fell into her face. "If God wanted him to work in people's lives, why was he sick in the first place?" The class bell rang and the halls had emptied. Riley stood up and started to pace the hallway. "I just want to hit something, I want to get out of here."
"Go on home Riles, i'll get your work. Teachers will understand, here take my car." Maya tossed her best friend the keys.
"No, that's okay. I'll walk home, my cars there if I need to go anywhere."
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"Farkle. Have you seen or heard from Riley? I've texted her several times, i've waited by her locker and-"
"Oh, she went home about 2 hours ago. She got pretty upset, and angry so we told her to go." Farkle replied.
"No. No, no, no." Lucas snatched his bag off of his desk and left the school in a hurry, dailing her number.
Riley, please call me as soon as possible. Don't do it, do not go in his room. Call me, i'm on my way.
Several voicemails and a quick drive later, he fumbled into her home. "RILEY!" He ran into the garage, hoping to find her at least sleeping but, nothing. He sauntered towards the hallway and saw Auggie's door was cracked. "Riley?"
"Lucas?" She sprung off the bed and landed into his arms sobbing.
"What are you doing in here?" His strong biceps carried her out of the bedroom and shut the door. "I told you not to go in there."
Riley's beautiful forehead landed on his. "I just wanted him. I wanted to hold him. I'm sorry, you were right." She took several quick breaths. "I didn't find what I was looking for."
"Come here beautiful. Just lay down." The brunette buried her head into his shoulder and cried while he stroked her hair. Her legs were wrapped around his waist. "Let's take a little trip." With Riley still clinging to him he stepped outside and placed her in his truck. The dancer ended up falling asleep in his lap, which he didn't mind. The green eyed man openly accepted the fact that he was absolutely obsessed with her, even sleeping or crying she made him happy. Lucas put his truck into park and carefully slid out of the seat, waiting for her to wake up. He was proud of the fact she didn't completely shut down again, he was excited that she didn't have to start over, but Riley took an extremely hard hit today that she wasn't ready for.
Lucas slid into the bed of his truck and stared out onto the ocean and the waves. He'd found a somewhat secluded spot, at least for now while people were still in school. "Hey."
"Hey beautiful girl." The brunette stared out onto the ocean and climbed into the bed of his truck. "How you feelin'?" His arm wrapped around her shoulder.
"I just wanted to get a piece of him."
"I know." He whispered. The waves crashed onto the beach and he heard her take a deep breath, trying to relax. "What set you off?" The dancer pulled out a folded up picture from her sweatpants and passed it to him.
"He used to watch me dance out here. We'd blare the stereo and he'd get too tired so he'd sit in the sand-" A few tears fell from her eyes, before she continued. "He was so young, he should've been able to dance and run. I could, I always could but he couldn't. I'm so mad, I just want to hit something! Why him? Why was he even sick in the first place? People tell me God wanted him home sooner, but why? Why put him on this earth if you're just going to take him away and make everyone suffer?"
The jade eyed man swallowed a lump in his throat. "My reasoning is, he made a huge impact on others. You raised so much awareness for this disease, hell within the last year you, yourself raised $8000 and that's what i'm aware of. Charlie donated, I donated, I mean even though Auggie didn't make it, we have no idea how many other peoples lives could have been affected by what you and your brother did. Yeah, it's terrible that he isn't here anymore and it's awful what he had to live with, but honestly would you have rather had a life without him? Or with him for 13 years?"
A small smile approached her lips. "With him. No matter how much this hurts, always a short time with him." She closed her eyes and felt soft lips touch her head. The brown eyed girl jumped out of his truck and pulled off her sweats, revealing the black hot shorts she wore constantly. His green eyes followed Riley as her toes touched the water, Lucas hurriedly plugged his phone into the auxilary cord and turned the volume up on his radio. Riley turned around at the sound of the music and saw the green eyed man sauntering towards her with his shirt off.
She's got a bumper like a billboard
Riley did an attitude turn and felt Lucas' strong hands on her hips from behind.
Covered in stickers of her favorite bands
She's got a handful of records that she turns to
Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as she swayed. Her heart was pounding, as his hands ran over her body.
When she needs to land
She's a Saturday night parade through the streets
That all eyes come to see including me
She jumped wrapping her long legs around his waist, and he dipped her from left to right. Watching her long brown hair graze the sand.
She carries memories around like souvenirs down in her pockets
Riley did a pirouette and elongated her leg up to her cheek, with a perfectly pointed toe.
She should have let some go by now but can't seem to drop it
Says forgiveness ain't nothing but a lifeless tire on the shoulder of her soul
That never rolls
For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
Lucas lifted her off the ground as her legs moved in the air with flexed feet, as if she was running. He smiled watching her dance, with complete and utter trust, her eyes were closed the entire time.
For as much as she runs she's still here
He spun her back into his chest.
Always hoping to find something quicker than Heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear
Her butterflies fluttered realizing how easily her and Lucas moved together.
Just like Guinevere
Just like Guinevere
She don't hold onto nothin' new for very long
His right arm stretched outwards with hers as her leg rose up to a posse and she leaned into his left forearm.
Yeah she writes you in as just one more tale and then you're gone
Riley laid down in the sand, letting the waves crash against her body.
'Cause she once fell hard 'cause she dropped her guard
She rose off the sand and fell backwards into the green eyed mans grasp.
And no one gets to stay it's just too late
For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she's still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than Heaven
They were ending right where they started off. Her arms felt the back of his neck, Riley's right temple touched his left cheek, and his hands ran down her sides.
To make the damage of her days disappear
Just like Guinevere
She turned around slowly and stared into his green eyes. He noticed that she didn't look the same, her eyes were different, in a great way.
Just like Guinevere
The brunette's forehead was placed gently on his. "Kiss me." She whispered. At first it was just a ghost of a kiss, so close that she almost couldn't stand it. His warm lips lightly pressed against hers. Soft and romantic, causing butterflies in her stomach. Lucas pulled her in closer, feeling the water and sand that was on her body. Riley's ivory hands grazed his cheek, not letting him leave, even though he wasn't pulling away.
Lean into me Guinevere
Be mine tonight Guinevere
Lucas stopped with a smile on his face and kissed her forehead. "You can't stop dancing." He whispered.
"It's easier with you. I feel supported." His pointer finger raised her chin and kissed her lips again.
"Even though I loved dancing with you, and holding you like that, you dance beautifully without me here." She sighed and landed into his chest. "I can help you practice. Nationals is in a month."
"I wouldn't even know where to start. I always choose my songs, Mrs. Rodgers said emotional and i'm sorry but I can't use God Gave Me You, i'd break down in the middle of the floor." Lucas sat down on the sand and she sat in between his legs, his gears were running through his mind, trying to find the perfect thing for her. Riley sat in silence watching the sun start to set and the waves crash against the sand and onto her feet. "So are we together now?" He smirked and moved some hair out of her face.
"Depends, are you going to Nationals?" The brunette furrowed her brows and played with the sand.
"I don't know, maybe."
"I think, you can make a very powerful statement with the right song and with some help." She didn't say anything. "Auggie wants this for you." A tear fell from her eye and she stared at his green eyes.
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"RILEY! LUCAS!" Topanga ran across the living room and hugged both of them. "Where have you two been? We've been worried sick!"
"Sorry mom, our phones died." Riley still felt somewhat cold towards her parents, but she had to keep reminding herself that they were hurting too. Her parents did what they felt was best for Auggie and that's all that really matters.
Mr. Matthews stood up and sauntered towards them. "You okay honey?"
The brunette inhaled deeply and smiled lightly. "I'm okay."
Cory's lip raised and hugged her. "Why don't you go take a shower and get the sand off of you?" The dancer nodded and meandered towards the bathroom. Her family sat in silence until they heard the shower come on. "What happened?"
Lucas put his hands in his pockets. "She left school today after a breakdown. I knew what she was going to do so I came home after her." Topanga grinned at the word 'home'. "Found her in his room and we went to the beach. I'm sorry I should've called but I just kind of went for it, I didn't think."
Mrs. Matthews popped her head out from behind Cory. "Did she dance?"
"We danced, yeah." He sat on the couch and saw her parents hold hands. "How are y'all?"
"As good as we can be. But, we have each other. Just like she has you." Topanga stood up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"IS SHE BACK?!" Maya stormed through the door. "YOU!" The blue eyed girl stomped her way towards Lucas. "Why didn't you let us know anything?!"
"Down girl, i've dealt with bulls less mad than you." Her eyes turned to a glare. "Our phones died or we would've called on the way back. She's in the shower."
"By herself?" The blonde mumbled.
"I hope so." Cory and Lucas laughed since they said it in unison. Josh stumbled into the room and grinned.
"Hello family. Hey baby." He kissed Maya which seemed to ease the last bit of tension in the room.
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Riley dragged herself into the living area, while towel drying her hair. "Mom, did you make any food?" Her family and friends started to smile. "What?"
"Nothing honey. I didn't cook but we can order something. Pizza?" She shook her head.
"It's competition season." Everyone started clapping and smiling, Maya shouted 'yay'. The brunette didn't care, she had her brown eyes locked on Lucas who was walking her direction. The green eyed man hugged her.
"I'm proud of you." He whispered.
"I'm gonna go start choreographing. Lucas and I picked out a song." She put her hair into a bun and left everyone alone. "I'M STILL HUNGRY!" She shouted, making everyone laugh. Lucas was showered in hugs and love. He loved it, but then it dawned on him now that she was starting to feel 'okay' he may have to go home soon.
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