Another chapter so soon? GASP I KNOW RIGHT
But I just felt like writing... so
Picking back up where we left off amigos
Ryuzaki was cold, but Light could feel how soft his skin was; all the tiny, fuzzy hairs on his cheek, inviting to the touch. He could feel the curve of Ryuzaki's cheekbone, thick wisps of dark hair, a throbbing pulse under that cool exterior. It made Ryuzaki look that much more alive. He felt alive.
Alive and breakable. The thought was intriguing but he couldn't figure out why exactly.
Light hadn't thought this through. Again. He hadn't thought it through. He felt his skin redden, but his anger dissipated the heat and he paled. Ryuzaki hadn't moved; Light had felt him jump at the sudden contact but he still hadn't moved away. He just stood there, his thumb anchored against the delicate dip in his bottom lip, his eyes wide and pupils dilated. But that could mean many things. Light's frustration burnt through him like a branding iron. But the front of his mind began to cloud..
Ryuzaki's...L's eyes were locked with his. Icy, round and unsettling. Light couldn't look anywhere else. Ryuzaki had dark shadows under his eyes; gloomy, crepuscular hollows carved into the milky expanse of his skin; pools of ebony starlight reflected in twin glassy orbs. Light felt an electricity snap through him like an elastic band, a buzzing that permeated deep into his veins and returned to his heart with a jolt. Suddenly his heart was pumping just a bit faster, just a bit harder, as though there was a sickness in his body that needed to be flushed out as soon as possible. Ryuzaki blinked. His blood ran hot. Someone had turned on a tap somewhere. Light felt as though an eternity had passed since they connected. This was his entire world. The center around which his galaxy would forever revolve.
Get a grip! Part of his brain screamed.
To see the world in a grain of sand, another part thought idly. Hold infinity in the palm of your hand...
That was what Light was doing, wasn't it?
Ryuzaki tilted his head away from Light's open palm, and reality crashed over Light like a wave. But his previous irritation hit like a landslide. Ryuzaki's thumb never wavered from his mouth as he parted his lips to ask-
"This, Light-kun?"
Light-kun's mouth set in a line. He snatched his hand away. L felt the warmth vanish, instead feeling heat flood his stomach. That was strange, he noticed.
"Yes." Light bludgeoned, "All your cheap nips and tricks over the past week." A pulse was jumping in Light-kun's jaw. L tried not to look at it and instead nibbled his thumb. This wasn't exactly the response he had been hoping for. This wasn't Kira. L felt like cursing.
"What tricks would these be exactly, Yagami-kun? I can't imagine myself deceiving you."
The boy looked ready to throttle him again, so L tightened the muscles in his legs just in case. He'd be ready to pounce. But Light squirmed even closer, gripping links of the chain in his fist, turning his knuckles white.
"You can drop the act Ryuzaki, none of the others are here." he hissed, "You've been setting me up, gauging my reactions to every tiny little thing. As if this thing wasn't enough-" he rattled the cuffs, "You have to torment me and drive me insane - trying to touch me at every interval - in full view of my father - seeing if I reciprocate the slightest inch just to calculate a higher probability that I'm Kira! I am not just some pawn that you can manipulate into behaving like a twisted, mass-murdering psychopath!" Light breathed out heavily.
"Look, I get that you think it's logical that if I were Kira, it would be a possibility that Kira would try and get close to you, mentally and physically...in that way. I get it, he'd want you vulnerable. So you trying to see if I respond to your...instigation is understandable. I get it - but you can stop now! You make me uneasy. It's distracting - to constantly be on the look out as to where you are and what you're doing 24/7! I am not Kira! I am only ever going to react like me!" Light-kun's voice was becoming strangled, openly more distressed. "And," Light gulped, "I know that this is all kind of my fault - I know I put the doubt in your mind, I didn't really help my case when I ki-"
Light suddenly started and stopped. Colour flooded his face; his lips ruby red, the tip of his nose pink. His brown eyes were shining.
L raised an eyebrow. Light-kun painfully continued, clenching and then uncurling his fingers. A frequent peccadillo of Light-kun's. An involuntary anxiety-induced action? "When we had a fight last week." said Light quickly, before his brain could catch up with his words. "I...My actions were not intentional, I didn't mean - look it was heat of the moment okay? I don't know why I did it..I-I just did. Alright?" he finished somewhat defiantly.
L frowned. Light-kun looked vulnerable. And open. Was this all just an act? Heat of the moment... Emotions running wild, adrenaline pumping, physical infliction of pain. Light-kun's unrelenting anger and defiance... L supposed it was a likely conclusion. And Light-kun was of the age where his hormones would be struggling to settle... Perhaps Light-kun had just acted on a conflicting urge to both hurt and satisfy L.
Satisfy L's suspicions, that is.
He was an incredibly stubborn and defiant boy. Confident and intelligent. But also devious. Light-kun hated to lose... Just like L himself. Hmph. A teenage mistake? 42% probability.
But he was still not convinced. L could never be at ease around him. The circumstances were too suspicious, Light-kun was too fitting a suspect...Kira's killing schedule fitted Light-kun's teen school timetable, his proximity to the police, his age, his character and intelligence...all pieces of the puzzle that erected Kira. Light-kun could be an abnormality... It could all be a coincidence. But the universe is rarely so kind.
L nodded. He would believe Light-kun. But he would not believe Kira. Whether Light-kun was conscious of the monster, buried deep within (or lurking behind those cleverly beguiling eyes) or an innocent being used in ploy. L could not trust him. He'd believe him. But never trust.
"Ryuzaki?" Light-kun wavered, sighed and then said quietly (but L could hear the frustration eating away at his words) "I know you probably won't believe me but - it was a mistake. I acted stupidly. And..." Another sigh. "And I'm sorry if I caused you any discomfort. We have to trust each other, right? Work together if we're going to catch Kira. And we are."
L blinked. His mouth parted slightly; his thumb drifted from its perch. Apologies? Light-kun apologised? Trust... If I caused you any discomfort... I'm sorry.. L scowled inwardly - what was this? Why must this be so frustrating?
"I believe you, Light-kun." his lips moved slowly. Every move had to be calculated. But some things L knew. And he knew this game had been playing without an opponent for far too long.
"Things may return to normal (by our degree of normality) if you wish. But this chain stays Light-kun," L raised his arm, chain links clinking tunefully. "Kira doesn't get off that lightly."
Light-kun's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to argue but visibly bit his tongue to restrain himself. L smiled.
"Yes, Light-kun?" his smile became wider.
"But you'll stop... flirting." Gritted teeth churned the word out like a groan. L raised another eyebrow.
"I'll remind you that Light-kun started it."
Shock hit Light's face like a slap.
"That was not flirting! That was an-an accident!"
L examined Light-kun's flustered expression and chewed his lip thoughtfully. The brunette was blushing again. Maybe this really was his hormones.
...or maybe, maybe Light-kun had developed an attraction to him? All data considered... 60%? But not as likely as a design of Kira's. But this was something to consider. Perhaps Light had established Ryuzaki as a mentor figure? Perhaps he found the idea of L appealing? Too many uncertainties. L chewed over his thoughts but decided to give Light-kun an answer.
"Very well, Light-kun. I'll refrain from mentioning it again, if that would put you at ease?"
Light swallowed. "Thank you.. We can return to normal then? ...And get back to work?"
Normal. L didn't think so.
"Of course, Light-kun. We wouldn't want you distracted from the investigation. You are a great asset in the fight against Kira."
Light-kun looked taken aback. Almost proud. Grateful. But at the same time, wary. Almost defiant again. Light-kun why are your reactions so conflicting? He felt like cursing again.
"Uhh...Great." Light said, running a long hand over his face.
"We should return to the other room then, Light-kun. The others will probably be wondering what we've been doing in this time alone." L started towards the door, brushing past a Light frozen with innuendo. "After all, you did look ready to kill me when we left them." he smiled slyly at Light-kun, and Light groaned. A human cocktail of helplessness and vexation. His fingers clenched and uncurled. The memory of Light's warm skin flashed and stumbled into L's mind. He brushed past it with a tremble of his head.
They managed to get back to work, Light going out of his way to ensure the others (and his father) that he and Ryuzaki had had a long talk and set aside their differences, and any grievances they had for one another. Now they could all get back to the task at hand and really focus. They were going to make some real progress, Light just had a feeling.
The only problem with Light's focus, was the impossible fact that he couldn't focus. He had a growling in his stomach that just wouldn't go away. No matter what he did. He found he was restless. He willed himself to work, his neck craned at the computer screen in front of him or his fingers flying through sheets of paper ten times faster than usual, but his foot was constantly tap tap tapping against the floor. His knee was forever bouncing like a nervous tick. He couldn't force himself to stay still. He paced when he was standing, messed with his hair when they were sat talking, or he chewed at his nails - sparking a creepily striking resemblance to Ryuzaki. That was unsettling to say the least.
A day had passed since Light confronted Ryuzaki, and surprisingly true to his word he had not done anything out of the ordinary. Or suffice it to say that he was no longer being unnecessarily nice. Light tried desperately to ignore the small part of him that missed being the strange focus of Ryuzaki's attention...
And his affection.
Light started, shocked and disgusted at himself. And then proceeded to beat back the thoughts with a large mental stick. It had been infuriating, he reminded himself. Ryuzaki had been playing a game, he didn't mean any of it. He thinks you're Kira. You're still a suspect to him. Light grumbled in annoyance and rubbed at his eyes. His hands went back to the sheet of paper he was making notes on. His fingers curled into a fist, nails biting into his palms, and then he relaxed them. His fingernails scraped the paper; the noise making him shudder. He looked up and around. It was late into the evening, and the team had moved into the break-room for more comfort. Aizawa and Mogi-san had already left, Aizawa returning to his grateful family. Light didn't know where Mogi-san lived; whether he had his own house or apartment, or if he was staying in a room here, in the team's haven of operations. Matsuda was chattering into the phone's landline, mobiles being prohibited. Except for Ryuzaki's of course. Light scowled, wishing once more for his freedom. He yanked his wrist back again; Ryuzaki was sat away from him, typing rapidly into his laptop and talking to Soichiro but he kept flying his manacled hand across the keyboard, making Light's cuffed arm dart out along with him. He was hunched-over in his usual crouch on the plush ivory sofa that was softer than Light's hair. And the sofa was leather. And Light's hair was soft. Ryuzaki would have blended into the upholstery if it weren't for his own inky hair. As black as pitch. Rumpled, and sticking up everywhere. Its chaos annoyed Light, and he unconsciously smoothed his own.
Light blinked his eyes sleepily, and rested his chin in his palm, rapping the knuckles of his other hand on the tabletop. Promptly his wrist flew out from under his head, elbow and manacled hand smacking into the table.
"Ryuzaki!" he sucked his knuckles angrily, "Can you please stop doing that."
"Sorry, Light-kun." said Ryuzaki, his gaze never wavering from his laptop. "Perhaps if you moved your work closer it would be more comfortable for both of us."
A glance. Reproachful.
Light mumbled, getting up and dragging over to the sofa. "Perhaps if you uncuffed me it would be even more comfortable."
"I doubt that, Light-kun."
Light nestled the back of his honey-head into the cushions. His knee started its anxious jig. He glanced sideways at Ryuzaki. To his surprise - Ryuzaki yawned. Wrinkling his snowy skin and revealing a pink tongue. Eyelashes shuttered drowsily and then sprang open again, eyes once more alert. Fingers started back at the keyboard, typing in his bizarre manner.
Light had never seen Ryuzaki show any sign of sleepiness before. It was the dark side of the moon.
Light's father stood up, clapping Matsuda on the back as he did so. "We're going to get some shut-eye, Ryuzaki. Let Light get some sleep soon." Soichiro fixed a wry gaze at Light and gave a stern nod. Light would have to sleep. Or his mother would hear about it. But not tonight - Light could tell by his father's tone of voice, the underlying wince of guilt that accompanied his words; he would be spending a night in one of the many rooms supplied by Ryuzaki.
"Very well, Yagami-san. I hope you feel better rested when you awake." Ryuzaki tilted his head to Soichiro, nibbling a thumbnail.
"Goodnight Light."
"Night Dad. See you in the morning." Light yawned conveniently, then added "You'll see mum and Sayu tomorrow night, don't worry. You can tell them hi from me." Ryuzaki allowed him a generous length of the chain so he could stretch his arms above his head. Soichiro smiled a smile full of regret and gratitude, a melancholic pride swelling in his chest for his son. They made the best of a bad situation. A complicated situation.
"I will, Light."
"Night Ryuzaki! See you bright and early, Light!" Matsuda called from the door, sounding cheered (as always) but tired.
Light waved goodnight back to him, yawning again as his father left, and tried to remember when he'd last seen his family. Surely it hadn't been too long ago. He missed them desperately. It was often strange to realise this because he was usually kept so busy with the case. With Kira. He missed his mother's cooking, her delicate hugs. And Sayu's grinning face when she'd beaten him at Gungi (or rather when Light purposefully lost to her at Gungi - as she had forced an agreement onto him where he had to let her win once every three games). Her constant invasions into his room. Whining for him to do her Math homework. Her pretty eyes and annoying cell phone ringtone. He missed their family meals, and the sleepy Sundays.
Light missed them. And he felt a woozy rush of forlorn affection for his missing loved ones. And guilty worry at where they mistakenly thought he was during his absence from home.
I bet handcuffed to an insomniac detective doesn't crack their top ten. I bet handcuffed to an insomniac detective who thinks I'm a criminal mass murderer doesn't crack their top thirty. Even with Sayu's wild imagination.
"Light-kun, are you feeling alright?" Ryuzaki asked, and Light tilted his head to him. A wintery thumb touching base to a shell-pink lip. "I could call Watari for some tea if you'd like."
"No, I'm fine Ryuzaki. Thanks." Light forgot how perceptive Ryuzaki must be. L was one of the best detectives in the world...He probably picked up on everything; Light's nostalgia, his father's worry; the restlessness of the team. Light's own restlessness. He felt a swooping sensation in his stomach at the thought. Nausea probably.
Then again. Ryuzaki was so socially isolated and ignorant, unresponding to normal social conventions. Maybe he didn't understand the concept of nostalgia, or worry... But he must have had people he cared about. Watari, most likely.
"Are you sure? You don't look your usual self."
"Really? How's that?"
"You're not red in the face from frustration with me." L smiled, and it looked to be a real smile. Of warmth.
Light laughed quietly.
"It must be hard to be away from your family. But it is necessary. I would not hold you here if I didn't have undue reason." Ryuzaki dangled the chain.
Light raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. So he did understand.
"I know that, Ryuzaki. I don't mean to be sullen. I was just thinking how long I've been away from them."
"I am sorry, Light-kun." he glanced to his laptop, "Would you like to sleep now?"
"No, it's okay. I can last a while longer. You go ahead and finish your work. I'll just rest my eyes.."
Ryuzaki clearly appreciated Light's rebuff to the offer of sleep. He closed his eyes, listening to the patter of fingertips across keys. The rattle of the chain links as they hit the laptop. He stretched his legs out in front. His body ached from sitting, leaning over a computer screen all day. But he was so comfy, burrowed against the cushions. They must be goose-feather or something...Light wondered drowsily how expensive the sofa had been, and how wealthy L must be. Having solved so many cases all over the world...
When Light opened his eyes again, it was darker in the room. He looked out the glass window; midnight blue outside. He knew it would be cold; it felt crisp just looking out. He squirmed deeper into the cushions. Ryuzaki was still typing.
"What is your mother like, Light-kun?" Ryuzaki asked suddenly, startling the silence between them.
Light looked at him, surprised. This was becoming a frequent occurrence.
"Huh?"
"Your mother. You said you missed your family; I was just wondering what they were like." L was still typing. The glow from his computer screen lit up his face in a ghostly hue.
"Oh. Well, my mum...She's just how every mother should be. She's kind, caring, and warm.." Light smiled, thinking of his mother's stern gaze, "And very protective of her children. But she's funny, and smart - and she's the best cook in the world. I really miss her baking." Light looked to Ryuzaki and grinned, "You'd love her Christmas Cake, she makes it every year."
Ryuzaki stopped working to look at him, his thumb moving over his lip. He nodded seriously. "Watari buys Christmas Cake in December."
"Awh no! Homemade is the best, it tastes so much better - way better than anything in a shop!"
Ryuzaki looked intrigued; his head tilted thoughtfully. "I have never tried homemade sweets."
"I'm pretty sure that's a felony in most of the world."
Ryuzaki grinned. It was such an... entrancing sight that Light.. Oh God no. Light felt blood rush to his face. He willed it to dissipate back down into his body. Stop freaking blushing you frilly-skirted schoolgirl!
Luckily Ryuzaki didn't seem to notice. He was biting his thumb and thinking. He rested his ivory palms on his blue knees.
"If you'd like Light-kun, you could use the kitchen facilities here to make your mother a Christmas Cake. As a token to apologise for your absence; an early festive gift to reconcile your family. Watari could deliver it to them whenever you'd like."
"Really? Taking time out from the case to do that would be okay?"
"A few hours one afternoon in the holiday season would be acceptable. Attention is likely to waver, I have expected.." Slight creases appeared between Ryuzaki's brow line. Light guessed he was thinking of Matsuda and his attention span of a goldfish. The guy was brilliant with guns though; he never missed a single shot.
"Well...I think my mum would really love it. Sayu too. Yeah, that'd be great to do, it wouldn't take more than an hour probably.."
"That's settled then."
Light smiled. "Thanks, Ryuzaki. You made me feel better." Ryuzaki looked fixedly at him, and Light felt suddenly very aware of how close they sat; how vulnerable they both were to each other. Like an invisible thread of pulsing, terrified energy tied them to one another. Black eyes traced over his face.
"You're welcome, Light-kun." And the thread snapped.
Safe-oo! Thanks for reading! Review if you liked it!
Things'll be getting a bit...messy next time. WINK.