"Well, we're just going to be hanging out at Gary's today. It's only going to be us three, so feel free to join." Nick smiled at Emmett.

"Sounds good. I'll catch you guys later."

"Later!" Gary called out, not even waiting for me to get the bags before walking out of the store. I trailed behind Emmett, but turned back to look at Nick one more time before leaving. He winked at me, and I was thankful that the wind blew the blush off my face as I stepped outside.

As much as I had grown to like the large group, I was relieved that there were just four of us that Saturday night. Emmett, Gary, and I had time to chill while I still recovered from the conversation with Frankie. After the first week when I drank all of Emmett's booze in a panic, I put my foot down about drinking less. Alcohol had never been a problem for me, but alcohol is a drug like any other, and I needed to be able to tell the difference between drinking to drink and drinking to get drunk. As hard as it was, I needed to focus on being and staying myself. I was calmly sipping my way through a glass of whiskey at a snail's pace.

"The entire course of human evolution transpired in a shorter time than it's taking you to get through that," Gary laughed.

"I thought you hated history?" I shot back.

"No. I hate regurgitating the names of all our prime ministers. Natural history is dope."

"Make that your senior quote," Emmett muttered as he reached for a beer.

"Maybe I will." Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and someone called out that they were from the committee of student housing. "Shit," Gary muttered as he tried to cap bottles and shove stuff under his covers. The door opened anyway.

"Just kidding guys, it's me." Nick closed the door swiftly behind him and held up a bag of his own snacks that he brought, along with a few bottles of water.

"Wow, thanks mom," I smirked as he sat down next me and handed me the water. I bit my lip as there was a palpable silence between us. I couldn't react in a way that I normally would because I didn't want to out him, or even myself. We both just looked at each other, wanting more to happen but knowing it couldn't.

"No problem, honey." He responded after a second and then turned to the other boys. "And Emmett, darling, don't forget that I'll pick you up from hockey practice next week." Emmett cracked a smile and passed him the vodka. The four of us worked well together. There was no real awkwardness, and we managed to talk without once mentioning Wyatt or Katherine, something I'm sure he was grateful for.

The next morning, I woke up before Emmett. I stepped out into the hallway and tried calling Hunter. I texted him while I was hanging out with everyone, wanting to see if he was alright. Well actually, I wrote, I heard there's a sore throat going around. Do your knees hurt too? It was an over the top, douche-y question, and I was expecting him to shoot back something equally awful to combat me, like Shut up, jerkwad. That's more your thing anyway, isn't it? But he didn't. I wasn't going to make him facetime or skype, but I hoped he would at least answer the phone. Nothing. It just went to voicemail. I debated what I could say, but hung up instead and vowed to try him back later. I called again after dinner, but still nothing.

"Did you forget our promise? I didn't forget our promise," I spat into the receiver when his voicemail picked it up. I could have called the house, but then there was the chance that my mom would answer.

On Monday, I called Frankie after classes got out. She sounded absolutely frazzled, and like talking to me was the last thing she wanted to do.

"So you don't talk to me for weeks, and now here's the second call in three days?"

"I called Hunter first thing this morning and he didn't pick up. He hasn't answered my texts. Where the hell is he?"

"Oh, so it's about Hunter. Back to square one."

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you hit your head this weekend? I thought you gave a crap about me."

"I do care, Frankie." I looked around the quad, thankful that no one was really trying to hang out in the snow. Nick wasn't smoking in his usual spot, even though his nicotine addiction usually drew him out multiple times a day. "Can you believe me when I say that this is more important right now? I'm sorry it's not about you, but-"

"Well then when, Miles? When is it going to be about me? When am I going to be important? First Jonah, and now you-"

"Jonah?"

"My boyfriend. Kind of. I'm not really sure where we stand. He does, but it doesn't seem to occur to him that I should be in the know. Tiny was a total jerk to Shay, but at least he had the sense to be honest about how he felt."

"Jonah… the senior?"

"Yeah."

"Frankie, you're a sophomore."

"Like that means anything. I like him, and I thought he liked me. The hot and cold nonsense is so juvenile."

"I'm sorry. Boys are assholes." She laughed and was quiet for a moment.

"Hunter hasn't done anything. Actually, he's been pretty studious."

"Studious?"

"Yeah. He hasn't been talking to us recently, locked up in his room and all. But he comes back with library books and stuff and I think he's just keeping his head down. Working on his grades for once."

"That's bizarre."

"You're right. That's the weirdest thing that's happened to us the past year." I scowled at nothing in particular.

"So he's not picking up the phone because he's studying?"

"I'm assuming. We don't have any class periods in common for the first time ever, so I can't keep track of him all day. Shay, Lola, and Jonah give me enough to think about."

"Confront Jonah. Just because boys suck doesn't mean you have to let them. You can make the first move, too you know?"

"Make the first move how?"

"Ask him to take you to the movies, or whatever children do because you're still a sophomore-"

"I'm one year younger than you, idiot. And I've dated Winston."

"Winston is only one year older."

"You're ridiculous. One second you're one of my girlfriends and now you're my mom."

"That's what being an older brother is."

"Well I'll talk to you later, bro."

"Later, Frankenstein." I hung up before she could protest the nickname. When I turned around again, I spotted Nick by the fence again. He made eye contact with me and waved me over. I followed the shoveled sidewalk instead of taking a shortcut through the snow. When I reached him he blew smoke into my face. I waved it away from me and flipped him off.

"Just because I stand with you doesn't mean I want to get lung cancer."

"Didn't you tell me last week that you used to smoke weed?"

"Not the same as cigarettes."

"You have a screwed sense of morals."

"Me? I'm pretty sure during that exact same conversation you said weed was bad for me, hypocrite." We were more friends than anything else when all was said and done. There were occasional benefits, which we both appreciated, but most of all it was nice having someone to talk to. We were real with each other in ways that I couldn't be real with Emmett, Gary, or the rest. They reminded me too much of Winston. They were funny. They were loyal. But they wouldn't be able to handle everything. Every time I thought of Winston I felt something in my chest tearing. We drifted apart when I spent more and more time with Esme. We reconnected because Winston came to pick Frankie up for the dance, and when she awkwardly dumped him in front of me I suggested we go to the movies. It seemed like our friendship might have gotten back on track, but Hunter's situation took over everything, and again it proved to be too much for him to handle and I hadn't heard from him once after that night. Now that I hadn't heard from Hunter in days, I worried that another situation was right around the corner. And I wouldn't be there to stop it.

"Miles? You still with me?"

"Yeah, just thinking about Hunter."

"You know, for someone who mentions Hunter so much, you don't really talk about him."

"There's some stuff I just won't talk about."

"Alright, then. I won't push." He took another drag and thought of a new conversation topic. "Actually, Emmett is coming to hang out with me."

"What? I knew you were into Emmett! I told you!" He laughed.

"Never. Besides, Emmett and Laura are practically attached at the hip. I'm not into clinginess."

"Do you think he'll ever actually ask her out? I've been working on it and giving him advice, but he keeps flaking."

"Maybe she'll ask him. It looks pretty mutual from where I'm standing. Anyway, I called him out because I wanted to talk to him."

"About?"

"I think I should tell him. What happened with me and Wyatt."

"Are you sure? Wouldn't Wyatt hate that?" They had both agreed to not say anything, and it seemed weird that he would confess to Emmett of all people after taking a vow of silence.

"It doesn't really matter what Wyatt thinks. I'm not going to trash talk him or anything. I just need to be honest about myself. And I trust Emmett. After he invited me to hang out with you guys the other day, I realized that he's been a good friend to me for a long time and I haven't given him enough credit lately. I want to try coming out again."

"Do you want me here when you do?" He shook his head.

"No. I won't tell him about us, so you don't have to get wrapped up in it." I nodded and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck."

I walked back to my room and collapsed face first onto my bed. My hand dragged against the carpet floor and I just laid there, thinking about nothing in particular, and yet everything at once. The cold from outside caught up to me and I started to sniffle. I wiped my nose on my sheets before propping myself up on my elbows and trying to call Hunter one more time. I guess New Year's Resolutions never last anyway. When Emmett walked in, I asked him what was up. I didn't want to seem like I was asking about anything in particular.

"Nothing much. Classes were rough today. Wyatt's an asshole."

"What did Wyatt do?" Emmett was silent and looked slightly remorseful for mentioning it. I smiled inwardly at his loyalty. He was literally a golden retriever. "Does it have anything to do with Nick?"

"He told you?"

"Yeah, a couple weeks ago. I suggested that he should tell other people. I'm glad he found the courage."

"It's just…" Emmett buried his head in his hands as he sank into his own bed. Was he about to cry? Jesus Christ. "It sucks when people feel like they're wrong, you know? Nick's a good guy. I had no idea that he was going through this. We were all ready to blame him and he was just going to take it. He'd rather have everyone hate him than just say how he felt."

"I…Didn't know you were such a sensitive guy, Emmett." I had not once seen him in any state of being other than confident with the occasional pit stop of dorkiness, and this conversation went from zero to sixty on the scale of surreal.

Emmett was silent for a bit, and then found a new resolve to confess his own feelings to Laura. Part of me wanted to tell him to think it through, but the other part of me knew that he had wanted to ask her out for months. It was about time, to be honest. Plus I was thoroughly confused at his shift in demeanor and didn't have the energy for a serious conversation. "I should freshen up first. Can I borrow your cologne?"

"The one Zoe likes?"

"Who?" I couldn't believe I said that out loud. I had multiple bottles in different scents depending on what I wanted to go for on any given day. I never referred to them by brand or name, but by the people who liked them. One of them was always complimented by Zoe. One was Maya's favorite. And then there was a third that I was always lending to Winston, so I called it Chewie.

"It's nothing. Just grab it out of the top drawer."

"Okay…" He started rifling through my things. "Maybe I should call you Millicent."

"What?"

"Is that not the girl version of Miles?" He shrugged. "You just have way too many beauty products. What self-respecting guy has this many varieties of lotion?"

"Shut up. The cologne you want is the…" What was it actually called? "The Givenchy one." He held it up and I nodded my head in conformation.

"Thanks."

"Don't worry about it. Just act cool around Laura. Don't put any pressure on her to say yes."

"I won't. I'll be calm, cool, and collected." He smiled.

"You've got this."

Emmett didn't come back until hours later. When he first walked in, I couldn't gauge his expression; it was too dark. I thought, This could go any number of ways. Either all went well and they hooked up, or she rejected him point blank and he's been getting drunk at Gary's. If he's on a bender right now, I swear to God-

"Dude," he said, and I still didn't know how to react.

"What's up?" I kept neutral. He turned on the light and I immediately shielded my eyes. "A little warning, maybe?" Considering the fact that one of the lightbulbs was directly above my bed, it shot directly into my face and I was ready to embrace death in that exact moment. I rubbed the purple away from my vision eventually and I turned to my sheepish friend.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "I'm just too excited." Excited?

"Excited?" I asked aloud. "Excited! It went well!" I sat up in my bed, definitely invested in having this conversation. I hoped his positivity would rub off onto me. "Tell me what happened."

"Well," he couldn't keep the smile off his face. He pulled my desk chair towards my bed and straddled it. I laughed, not really meaning to. It always surprised me how cool he appeared at first glance with his mannerisms and his perfect hair that he spent hours fixing every day, but all of that completely shattered the second he opened his mouth. He was one of the dorkiest people I've ever met. "I went to Laura's dorm."

"I figured. I got that part."

"Yeah, and I almost got in trouble for being in the girls' dorm after hours, but she pulled me in before the committee of student housing did its rounds. I had to hide in her closet for a few minutes, but no one saw me." I nodded, trying to control my grimace at the image brought to my mind of me and Esme hiding in my father's closet.

"Okay, and so after…" I gestured for him to keep going. "You made like Nick and came out of the closet and then what?" Emmett laughed.

"Well Whitney was giving me weird looks. I had said that I was coming over for a homework question, but she didn't believe it for a second. She seemed to get some kind of hint and said she was going to Chenelle and Katherine's room. So it was just me and Laura. I told her that I didn't really have a homework question, and she said she wasn't stupid."

"It was very astute of her to see through that ruse."

"Shut up! I panicked. Anyway, I told her that ever since I started going to school here that I appreciated that she introduced herself to me and invited me into the group. She probably knew where I was going with it because she smiled and urged me to keep talking. And then I said that learning about her has been more interesting than anything I've learned in class-"

"That's smooth."

"She thought so! I told her I was interested in her and asked her out, and at that point she was practically jumping up and down in excitement."

"So…" I waggled my eyebrows. "What did you do for the other two hours?"

"Nothing! We just hung out like normal, but there was this new understanding between us. Whitney came back in and I spent time with both of them. That's all. We're going on a date Friday night."

"Congratulations, man." My smile was dim in comparison to Emmett's beaming. We talked about this and that for a few hours before I ended up falling asleep.

Wednesday trudged on endlessly. My leg shook up and down with each ticking of the clock and by the time my classes were out for the day I ran out of the classroom to try calling my brother again. I knew I was being ridiculous. If he was actually focusing on his GPA and committing to academia I should have been happy. I should have respected his space. But there was something in me that didn't believe it for a second. My brother doesn't just keep his head down. He never has. He was hiding something from me. He had to be. He still wasn't answering. I lost myself in my thoughts as I walked back to my dorm alone. I needed the time to think, but by the time I got back to my room I was completely burnt out. Emmett was working on some assignment, but he pulled away from it long enough to say hi to me when I walked in.

"Hey," I stammered out, beelining for my desk chair.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Long day. I just…"

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I debated whether not with you was an appropriate answer. It wasn't that I didn't trust him. It wasn't that I didn't think he would give honest, helpful advice. It was just that I was so tired of talking to people who didn't know anything. Ever since I moved, I was dropped into this surreal, alternate world in which no one knew who I was. And what had once been exhilarating and appealing about that at first was now tiresome. Nick knew I had meetings with Dr. Reiss. I explained it away as anxiety and he was understanding, but I didn't go into detail much more than that. And the rest of my friends here knew even less than him. And maybe my head shouldn't be stuck back home. I could have focused on my new friends and my new classes, but my mind always dragged me back. I had only talked to Hunter and Frankie, who gave me little bits of details about themselves and not much else. I needed to know what I was missing out on. I needed to know what fake statuses online wouldn't tell me.

"I'm just homesick, I guess." Emmett's smile lowered itself into a tight line. He looked back down at his homework, and I couldn't figure out what exactly was wrong with what I said. In theory I would have apologized, but I didn't get what I would apologize for, so I opened my computer. The icon for Skype stood out to me, and I considered getting in contact with someone else. Someone who I could really talk to. I opened it up and searched through my contacts for that one name. Zoe Rivas. Seeing that she was online, I clicked her name and waited with bated breath for her to answer.

Oops I lied. I realized that if I didn't want to rush things, one chapter was not enough time for Miles to realistically realize that he needed to get home, figure out how, and get everyone back home on board. However, next chapter, three degrassi characters are going to come back into the story beyond just being mentioned. (Zoe, obviously, and two others)