The morning dawned as beautiful as ever. It felt like some kind of clever trick as Lorelai drove the boys to Sookie's house. This wasn't really happening. She wanted to refuse its arrival, but alas, there was no choice but to be brave.

Sookie answered the door, hair a mess, looking tired.

"Hey, thanks for taking them this morning," Lorelai said as they rushed in behind her.

"Oh sweetie, it's not problem. I only wish I could do more."

"Well you are making like 15 casseroles for lunch afterwards. I think that's more than enough."

Sookie gave her a quick hug. The first of many today that would make her want to cry.

"Just let me know. Oh, and give Emily my love!"

"Will do."

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Emily got up that morning with more dread than she'd ever felt before. She'd laid awake the whole night before thinking about it. As much as she dreaded it, she didn't want this day to be gone. It would only be more real then.

She had been able to keep herself busy, and distracted, over the last 5 days. She was in shock, and only trying to do right by Richard. But now that they day had come, there was nothing to do but face her feelings. How she needed him right now.

As she got dressed, she looked in the mirror. She didn't recognize the person staring back at her. She didn't recognize anything around her anymore.

She put on her wedding ring, her heart breaking as she thought about it's new relevance. She put on a necklace, the one Richard had given her on their last anniversary, the last present he'd given her.

She was ready, and nowhere near ready. She sat back down on the bed, breaking into tears.

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"So, you want anymore coffee?" Luke asked Rory as they sat in the kitchen, dressed in black.

"Sure, thanks," she responded.

He got up and grabbed the pot, pouring her another cup.

"I think this may be my 6th cup. I'm not even sure."

"Well, for today I think that's okay," he said with a small smile.

Lorelai came in then, setting her purse on the counter, and standing by the table. None of them knowing what to say.

"Coffee?" Luke asked.

"If you insist," Lorelai said, pouring herself a cup. "I think this may be my 10th cup."

Luke's eyes got big for moment as he stared at the table.

The stairs slowly creaked and they all knew what was coming. This was only getting harder by the moment.

Emily walked into the kitchen, standing next to Lorelai in the silence.

"Well..." she began. "Are you all trying to make us late?"

Maybe, Rory thought to herself.

Emily walked away towards the front door. If she could do this, they would follow.

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"It was a lovely obituary Rory, really, you captured his essence so well. The way you described his face from the vow renewal as you stood by him as his best man, I could picture it again instantly."

"Thanks dad," she replied. How odd it felt to make small talk in this venue, as if it was all normal.

Him being around however, was more normal. She was grateful for all the support she could get today.

They continued into the main funeral room, all entering behind Emily. The noises of people who had already taken their seats bustled around them. She felt a wave wash over them, like they were all holding their breath. There he was, there he wasn't.

Lorelai squeezed Luke's hand tighter. She was pretty sure it would be the only thing to keep her from running.

Emily felt her knees tremble, and time move in slow motion. She could crumble right there. She reached up to her necklace, holding it tight, as she walked down the aisle, her family following. She paused at the front, only able to stare. It wasn't any less shocking. Then she took her seat, not wanting to be a spectacle.

The service started with prayers and reminiscing. Rory heard sniffles from behind her as grandpa's friends shared their stores. She laughed while she cried.

Emily appeared stoic, barely able to take in the words said. Lorelai sat beside her, grabbing her hand with hesitation, but Emily held on tight.

Then it was time for Emily to speak. Strange as it felt, she had insisted. She got up behind the stand, glancing over at Richard's face. Lorelai wasn't sure she could think of a sadder picture of her parents.

"Richard, my dear husband, my best friend," she began. "My life was yours, your life was mine, and it was my greatest honor to live life with you," she read, beginning to tear up. "I will always love you, and despite the circumstances, I know how lucky...I was...I am." There was a long pause, as she looked at her feet, then looked up to the sky. "You said I could go first damn it. We had a deal." It was like she was in her own world of conversation with him. She was breaking. Lorelai rushed up to help her. "I'm sorry," Emily said softly.

Emily made her way back to her seat, her head in her hands, as Lorelai felt the attention on her up front. She looked down to see Rory scooting over and putting her arm around Emily, then behind them to all the people, staring at her.

"Hi there," she began. What was she supposed to do? They all kept staring. "This is a sad day. Obviously. As if that needed said."

She looked over to Emily, now focused up on her, with hope in her eyes. And so she began.

"Richard Gilmore was a scholar and a gentlemen. But to me, he was my dad," Lorelai said, her voice cracking. This was harder than it looked.

"Tall and proud he stood, always there to protect me in whatever ways I allowed him to. Of all his accomplishments, I know his family and the Gilmore name were at the top. To so many who knew him, it's like the world has lost a little bit of its color, of its magic."

She looked over to Luke for reassurance, and he gave her a nod and a smile.

"But we have to take care of the things that meant the most to him, the things that will carry on his legacy and love. Ourselves. Each other. If you really focus, you will still find him. In the beauty of a spirit that soars and still find time to surround us."

Emily looked at her so intently. She hesitated, looking back at her as she said, "I don't doubt that he sits with a stack of newspapers in his hand, super annoyed about being forced to go first, and faithfully waiting to welcome all of us home."

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Heartbreak lingered with every step of that day, but it was finally over. The day, that is.

They were emotionally exhausted. No one more than Emily. She had the tears flow the rest of the day, and she was in good company.

As they approached Lorelai and Luke's house, Emily stopped in her tracks.

"Come on mom, it's cold out here."

Emily remained still. "I think it's time I go home."

"But grandma, it's late. We'd love to have you here."

"That's sweet dear. But it's something I need to do."

Lorelai looked on, unsure what to do. They'd gotten closer over the last few years, and very close over the last few days. But there was still always a line with her.

"Okay, well...come here," Lorelai said, bringing Emily into a hug. "You didn't think you'd get away that easy did you?"

Emily said nothing, only a small smile, as she moved onto getting hugs from the others. So many hugs.

"We'll see you on Friday night, for dinner?" Rory questioned.

Emily pursed her lips, looking away. "Let's just take it one day at a time, shall we?"

"Sure," Rory answered, disappointed that she couldn't make this all better. "Love you."

Emily grinned sadly at her. "I love you all too. So very much."

With that she left for her car, and as she got in, Lorelai was disturbed by the sight. She flashed back to the last time the three of them were together at Friday night dinner. It was just last week. She always left with a picture of the two of them in her mind; a safety net she didn't realize she relied on so much. She'd been with her mom since that day at the hospital. Now was a new normal, a nightmare.

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Emily drove home, hands gripped tightly on the wheel. She had no idea what she was doing, or how to handle this. Maybe she should turn around. Or maybe she was hungry, and should stop and eat.

Instead she spotted a hotel, and impulsively turned in. This would be home for the night. Baby steps.