I walked into the house, not expecting what happened. When I walked in and closed the door as softly as I could, I was met with an attack. With a hug. From Dan.

"PHIL! PHIL OH MY GOD YOU'RE OKAY! OH THANK GOD I WAS SO WORRIED!" Dan screamed, continuing to grip my waist. His face was nuzzled into my chest despite our height difference, and he had a bear like grip on me, preventing me from getting out of his grip.

The next thing I was met with was getting pushed against a wall by Dan, and him smashing his lips into mine. It started off forceful and pushed, and slowly got more passionate. In a nonsexual way. Sort of. The weird thing is, I was kissing him back. Soon, it was him against a wall. I couldn't help it.

After a few moments, I realized what I was doing. I was making out with the biggest dick in the world. What the fuck? I pulled away, gasping for breath, and very flustered. Dan was staring at me, breathing heavily. I moved back.

"Fuck. You." I growled at him, still REALLY PISSED OFF. He looked shocked.

"Yeah, go ahead, I don't mind." He said, smirking at me. Now I was the one silenced, in awe that he could act like this.

"You know what? I didn't think I would ever say this, but I really hope they find my mother soon, so I can get away from you, you son of a bitch." I said, narrowing my eyes at him and turning to walk away from him.

If only I had turned around to see him crying.

Dan's P.O.V.

Why did he say that? Why did I say that? What the fuck just happened? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!

"SHIT!" I yelled, punching a wall. Phil didn't come running. No one did. Mum and Dad weren't home, Alice was asleep, and Phil hated me.

That's what hurt most. That he hated me. I never could have thought I could feel a pain worse than that day. That one day. The one day no one but Alice knew about.

But where was Alice? Why wasn't she here, comforting me? Because she didn't need to. I could feel the hot tears falling freely down my face. I just wanted to sleep. Forever.

But I knew I couldn't, not today. So, instead, I stood up and walked upstairs. I opened the bathroom door and walked in, staring at myself in the mirror.

I thought the crying was over after he left.

Why is it me? Why am I such a dick? Why couldn't I be nice to someone just once? Just one time, when they were in need? Why did I turn into this?

I could feel myself fumbling around the drawers. What am I doing? I can't, I just can't.

I need to think. Alice wouldn't want this. Mum and Dad wouldn't want this. Phil wouldn't- Would Phil care? Of course he would. But only because he cares about everyone. Except me, probably.

I found it. That little piece metal that was my escape. My escape from this shitty reality, and my shitty personality. God, I need help.

I sat in silence, taking in what I had sworn I was never going to do again. I had promised her. I only did it because of him. He made me. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I would have died if I hadn't found this sweet release. Maybe this was like then, too.

I picked it back up from where I had placed it in the sink.

I'm done thinking.

A/N

Sorry I was angry I don't even remember why tbh.

Still alive out there? Yeah I'm still sorry (Not)