"Harry, you and Maya have a visit after school today so you won't be able to play on the playground." Callie said placing a waffle on Harry's plate at breakfast a few days later.
"I don't want to have a visit, I want to play." Harry wined
"I know but your grandparents want to get to know you guys before they adopt you, it will be nice for both of you." Callie said gently.
"what if I don't like them?" Harry asked
"Well I think you should give them a chance first don't you. Try and have an open mind and just talk to them and let them get to see how great you are" Callie said as Maya came into the kitchen.
"I can go to preschool today right?" Maya asked.
"Yes, you are, I will pick you up after school" Callie nodded.
"And Elizabeth?" Maya asked, she went to the same preschool as Elizabeth's daycare and was excited to see Elizabeth throughout her day.
"Yes, but my mom is picking up Elizabeth so she will only be there in the morning." Callie said giving Maya a waffle and cutting one up for Elizabeth who was grabbing it with her chubby hands.
"Why can't I go home with Stef too?" Harry asked. Callie sighed, she really wanted these visit to go well and for Harry and Maya so they would be comfortable staying with their grandparents.
"I'll tell you what, you go to the visit today, and tomorrow you can go home with Lena and I'll pick you up after dinner." Callie said.
"Oh boy! Lena is a good cook Maya" Harry cried informing his sister.
"Hey! what about me?" Callie asked pretending to be offended.
"Well your good too…" Harry started looking at her worried until Callie offered him a smile.
"I know, Lena is a good cook, ok eat up guys we can't be late" Callie said.
"Ok so I am going to be waiting right out here, and Katie will go in with you guys so if you need anything let her know ok. But I really want you guys to try ok, Harry? Let's be friendly, they have to take an airplane to come see you guys." Callie said holding Maya's hand as she lead the kids through the office.
"Hi guys, come on in" Katie said giving the kids a smile holding the door open. Harry hesitated looking back at Callie who offered him a smile. Harry took Maya's hand leading her into the room.
"I'll be right in I just want to talk to Callie" Katie said walking over towards Callie.
"So their grandparents wanted to move things along pretty quickly because it is pretty far for them to travel for visits." Katie said.
"Of course but I don't want to rush the kids" Callie said.
"Well no, but it is time sensitive, we are hoping to have two visits this week then their grandparents will be back next weeks for three visits and then hopefully we can just sign the papers and the kids can go home with them." Katie said.
"Two weeks? That's fast." Callie said
"Well visits will only go so far, I think once the kids just jump in and live with them it will all smooth it's self out" Katie offered her a smile.
"I don't want to agree to anything until I see how the kids do with their visits" Callie said.
"Well, unfortunately you don't have to agree to anything Callie, there's no other family, the papers are already drawn up for them to be signed. You asked for this many visits for the kids so we agreed to that. But we can't leave these grandparents waiting, it's very expensive for them to travel back and forth." Katie said.
"I am aware of that but Harry can take a while to settle in and Maya had so much change…" Callie started but Katie cut her off.
"10 days Callie. These kids are leaving in 10 days we can't push this anymore, they will be fine" Katie said they turned going back into the room before Callie could say anything else.
The next afternoon Callie went to her moms house after dinner to pick up Harry.
"He finished his homework and mom did his reading with him so he's all set" Lena said as Callie found her moms in the nook with a book and a glass of wine.
"Awesome thank you for taking him, I just wanted him to have something to look forward to after the visit yesterday" Callie said
"Of course, it's nice to have kids around, besides he keeps Frankie busy." Lena nodded as Callie sank down next to her.
"Where are they now?" Callie asked.
"Jesus came for dinner and they are outback somewhere running around with him" Stef said as Callie looked out the window. She saw Frankie hiding behind a tree as Jesus chased Harry around the yard growling Callie smiled watching them.
"So visits aren't going well?" Stef asked.
"I think it's just one more thing for him to get used to, Maya is fine so I assume they are fine grandparents, I think once he's settled it will be fine he just doesn't want another thing to chance." Callie shrugged picking up Stef's glass and taking a sip.
"You can have your own you know" Lena raised her eyebrows at her.
"Ehh it doesn't count as having any if I drink from mom's glass" Callie said making Stef laugh.
"So you have not met the grandparents?"
"No, Katie said they are not interested." Callie said.
"Well sweetie I hate to say this but that is foster care, your rights are limited." Stef nodded.
"I just wish they could be adopted by their grandparents but live like right next door, I think this would be easier if they were not moving to a new state" Callie said.
"No, it wouldn't. Nothing about this is easy baby, you just have to make peace with the fact that they are going to a good permeant home, and that you gave them the best you could while they were with you." Lena said.
"Oh what do you know, you adopted all the kids you fostered" Callie said.
"Well yes, but momma and I had times when we had to prepare ourselves to not be able to keep you all. Especially you when Robert was fighting for you so hard. We know it's not easy." Stef said.
"I just really didn't think it would bother me so much, a few weeks ago I was going to give up on Harry, now I can't imagine not having him in my home everyday" Callie sighed.
"Well can you do anything?" Mariana asked as she and Callie sat out on the deck watching the kids run around the yard with Sam and Brandon.
"No, I already asked for a lot, I understand it's not exactly convent for the grandparents but I don't want these kids to feel like we are just tossing them into the deep end and waiting to see if they swim. I feel like that's exactly what we are doing I can't imagine how they will see it" Callie sighed.
"Well, maybe it won't be so bad. I mean when we were younger and moms got annoying didn't you wish we could run away to Grams and Gramps or Grandma's?" Mariana asked.
"No, I think I was to old for that dream" Callie said.
"Oh that's right, when you ran away you ran away with boys" Mariana muttered as Callie elbowed her.
"Well, how are they after the visits?"
"Maya is fine, but I'm not sure she totally understands what is going on, I mean she just got here, I literally just unpack her stuff and I have to spend next week packing it back up. I don't think she understands the constantly moving thing she only saw the good side of the system."
"And Harry?"
"He is distant. I think he feels like we are just giving him away, he's quiet for the rest of the day and keeps to himself. He doesn't say he doesn't want to go to the visits anymore, but I can tell he doesn't" Callie said.
"Well if he's not saying anything maybe it's not so bad, stop projecting, he will get used to it.
"the adoption papers are being signed in 8 days" Callie sighed.
"Callie, maybe you just got to attached and you don't want them to leave" Mariana raise her eyebrows.
"No, we knew all along they we leaving, I just thought we would have more time, at least they have each other though" Callie sighed. Lena came out carrying Miles wrapped up in his blankets. He has blond hair peaking out from under his hat as Lena sat down on the swing near the girls. Callie got up to sit next to her and Mariana turned to look at them.
"He is so cute this little guy" Callie cooed to the baby who watched her looking slightly amused.
"He is, these blond curls are going to be a heart stopper." Lena smiled pulling one free from under his hat.
"Mom's going to be mad she's not the only blond in the family anymore" Mariana laughed.
"something tells me she will get over it quickly knowing she passed on the gene" Callie smiled as Elizabeth ran up the deck. She stopped short seeing Lena holding Miles and ran to her hands in the air asking to be held.
"someone is jealous" Mariana smiled trying to pick Elizabeth up but she squirmed to her sticking out her lower lip at Lena.
"Oh how can I say no to that face" Lena smiled bending down she scooped Elizabeth up putting her on one leg still holding Miles in her other arm.
"Say hi to the baby, this is your little cousin, pretty soon you will be able to play with him" Callie said. Elizabeth glanced at the baby then suddenly started trying to shove Miles off Lena's lap.
"Oh Elizabeth" Callie sighed rescuing the baby from Lena and settling him into her own arms. Callie forgot how little new babies were as Miles curled into her neck sucking on his hand.
"Well you just melted into him" Mariana laughed as Elizabeth settled into Lena's lap making sure to take up the whole thing leaving no room for intruders.
"I forgot how tiny and cuddly they are" Callie smiled
"Oh yeah, does that mean your going to have more?" Mariana asked.
"We always talked about 2, but 3 is really not bad. And if we had 4 there would be no middle child." Callie said.
"Ha! your almost as bad as moms" Mariana cried.
"Well, turns out it's a slippery slope. Besides I like the big family, I mean we loved growing up together. What if it was just me and Jude? Or you and Jesus? But it's not, I want Elizabeth to have a sister to share secrets with, and brothers to annoy" Callie said.
"It was nice it is nice. I mean If my kids only had Jesus as family they would be so screwed" Mariana nodded making Lena laugh.
"Big families are beautiful, they come with their own unique set of challenges, but having all of you, and now your getting married and having children of your own, It makes mom and I feel like the richest people in the world" Lena said.
"Aww momma, that was so cute it almost sounded true" Mariana teased.
"It is true, Mom and I didn't get to travel the world like we always planed, or spend a year in Spain, you should have seen us when we started dating. I had my heart set on a year in Spain I was trying to teach Brandon spanish." Lena laughed.
"Will and I talked about spending a year on the East Coast, I guess it would be harder with so many kids" Callie thought out loud.
"But if it's something you guys want, it's possible. Not saying I would approve of you taking my girl away for a year!" Lena said hugging Elizabeth to her making Callie smile.
"And regrets? Spain would have been awesome" Mariana said.
"Spain would have been amazing, but if we were in Spain the year we wanted to go we would have missed getting the chance to foster you and Jesus. We probably would not have become foster certified at all, and then we would not have either of you or your brothers. Spain would have been amazing, but it would have only been one year, what's amazing everyday was having all of you. No my love, neither mom nor I have any regrets." Lena said. Callie smiled at her, Lena always had a way of taking any kind of self doubt out of Callie's head.
"Oh quit hogging the baby hand him over" Mariana smiled getting up to take Miles from Callie.
After dinner Lena and Megan went for a walk around the block with Miles in the stroller to get him to sleep. Of course Elizabeth threw a fit over the thought of Lena leaving her so she ended up tagging along with them. Stef announced boys were in charge of clean up so Brandon, Will, Jesus, Jude and Sam were cleaning up after dinner. Callie heard Jude and Jesus yelling about having a water fight as they washed the dishes so Callie thought it was safer to stay out of the kitchen for now. Harry however had wondered in and Callie heard him laughing with her brothers and she fully expected him to be soaking wet when he was done. But she knew his days with her brothers, whom he was so fond of was limited so she knew it was best to just let him have fun. Callie, Frankie Stef and Mariana sat out on the porch watching the sun go down. Maya had been following Mariana around like a puppy all evening was not seated in her lap.
"Do you like dresses?" Maya asked her.
"I do like to wear dresses" Mariana nodded.
"She always wears dresses" Frankie said.
"Me too, you have a pretty dress, Callie doesn't like dresses" Maya said as if Callie wasn't sitting right next to them.
"Callie wears dresses sometimes, it's had to do her job in dresses" Mariana said.
"I like your dress, and your hair, your so pretty." Maya said.
"Oh! You are so pretty too, and super sweet" Mariana cried giving Maya a hug as Callie laughed and Stef rolled her eyes but winked at Callie.
"And she said I was getting to attached" Callie whispered to Stef.
"Baby, face it, we're all attached" Stef sighed.
"I like Mariana" Maya said holding Callie's hand as they were walking home. Elizabeth was asleep on Will's shoulder and Harry walked next to Will as Callie and Maya followed close behind. It was almost dark but the late spring air was warm.
"I like Jesus better" Harry put in his two cents.
"Jesus is to crazy" Maya said making Callie laugh.
"Mariana can be crazy too" Will told her with a smile.
"Who do you like better?" Harry asks Callie.
"Well I love them both, they are both my brother and sister" Callie said.
"You don't have a favorite brother or sister?"
"No or course not, I love them all in different ways." Callie said.
"When we go live with our grandparents, can we still come to family dinner?" Harry asked.
"Well, probably not every week, but we would love for you to still come visit sometimes." Callie said. Harry just nodded putting his head down.
"Callie! where's my red soccer shirt?" Harry called from his bedroom. Callie left the kitchen going down the hall to stand in Harry's doorway.
"It's not in your closet?" She asked as Harry was looking through his draws.
"No, and I can't find my blue sweater either." Harry said.
"Oh you know what I packed those away, I know they are your favorite so I put them in the box already." Callie said suddenly remembering.
"What box?"
"The box of things for you to take to your grandparents house" Callie said.
"But…they aren't mine to take" Harry said looking up at her.
"Sure they are." Callie said confused.
"But you bought them for me, they have to stay at your house" Harry said.
"No, I want you to have them, they are your favorite all those clothes and legos and toys are yours to take with you, that's why I started packing it already." Callie said.
"I don't want you to pack it" Harry sighed. Callie knew what he meant. He didn't want to pack up his things, he didn't want to leave. But he didn't dare say it. He was old enough to understand what was going on, he knew it didn't have a choice.
"Hey, Jesus is playing in the game tonight, why don't you come finish your homework before dinner and you can stay up an extra 30 minutes tonight to watch it" Callie offered.
"Ok" Harry nodded brightening up a little heading into the kitchen to sit down to his homework. Callie stopped in the girls room on her way back. Maya was sitting on the floor playing with some of Frankie's old dolls. Elizabeth had her own cloth doll trying to play with her. Maya glanced up and offered Callie a smile, Callie smiled back.
"Dinner is almost ready girls" Callie said.
"ok" Maya smiled happily going back to her playing. Callie sighed, Maya had only been here for a week and she fit in so perfectly it was like she had been here the whole time with her brother.
The next afternoon Callie dropped Maya and Harry off at her office for a visit with their grandparents and headed back to the school a little disappointed when she say Lena's car still in the parking lot. She had hoped to get all Harry's papers from the secretary, at least from her Callie could just blow it off like it was nothing not that she was signing Harry out of Anchor Beach. It meant a lot to her that he had been able to go to her old school and see Lena and Frankie everyday. Callie closed the car door making her way up the walk into the administration building. Lena's door was propped open and she was going over paperwork as Callie stuck her head in.
"Your here late" Callie said making Lena jump.
"Oh sweetheart you scared me! Yeah your sister had her book club so I thought I would just stay here and finish some work and give your mom a chance to order some take out" Lena said. Callie smirked at her.
"Book club? What is she 40 already?" Callie asked plopping down on the couch in Lena's office.
"No, she loves is, don't tease her about it please, besides it's good for her" Lena said Callie just nodded.
"What's up? Didn't I see you pick up Harry 45 minutes ago?" Lena asked.
"Yeah, I umm. I didn't want to do this with him here but I came to get his records and fill out the paperwork for the transfer" Callie said.
"Oh" Lena's face fell a little.
"Tomorrow will be his last day, because then it's the weekend and we weren't going to send him Monday, The court is at three in the afternoon and then their flight is right after. We thought about sending him for the morning to keep everything normal for him but, I don't want to rush around and stress him out. This way he can sleep in and play and maybe we can take them out to lunch before they leave" Callie said.
"Of course, I'll get the paperwork" Lena nodded getting up and going over to her file cabinet pulling papers out. Callie was glad she was not trying to be a mom about this and acting more professional.
"You should be very proud of the work he did here. He came so far in such a short time" Lena said.
"We are, he worked really hard, thank you for all you guys did as well, thank his teacher for me" Callie said.
"I will, just sign here and I all fax it over first thing tomorrow" Lena said putting the papers in front of Callie.
"Thank you" Callie said signing her name and handing them back.
"I should go pick them up" Callie stood up.
"Sweetheart is there anything you need for Monday?" Lena asked.
"Umm yeah actually can you or mom pick Elizabeth up from daycare and take her home for dinner. You know how court can be I don't want her there to late" Callie said.
"Of course, do you need anything else?" Lena asked.
"No that's it thanks, I'll see you tomorrow" Callie said she took a step towards the door. Sudden't the weight of what she had just done hit her, this was it, tomorrow was Harry's last day at this school, and this weekend was her last days with both children.
"Callie? You need something else?" Lena asked making Callie wonder how long she had hesitated.
"Umm yeah I do" Callie said she turned back to Lena who was perched on the end of her desk and walked right up to her, Lena as if expecting it opened her arms and pulled Callie in for a tight hug. Neither of them said anything as Callie stayed there a little allowing herself to take comfort in the familiar feel and smell that was her momma. Finally Callie pulled back a little and Lena let her go.
"ok?" Lena asked
"Yeah, I have to go get them. I'll call you later" Callie said.
"Ok, I love you"
"Love you too momma" Callie gave her a smile before leaving.
"Hey what's going on?" Callie asked walking into the cafe where Mariana had asked to meet her on her lunch break Friday afternoon. As much as Callie loved in impromptu coffee date with her sister, something in Mariana's voice when she had called told Callie something was wrong.
"I ummm I don't even know why I called you i'm sorry" Mariana said tears brimming in her eyes as Callie pulled her into a hug. She always admired the way her sister could show her emotions so freely.
"Hey, it's ok what's going on?" Callie asked.
"It's stupid"
"I'm sure it's not stupid, come on Mariana talk to me you never do this" Callie said taking her sister's hand across the table and rubbing her thumb over the back of it.
"I had a doctors appointment today, and I asked them about getting pregnant. I know it's early but, Sam want's to start trying right after the wedding and I wanted to be ready." Mariana said. Callie nodded waiting for her to go on.
"They ran some basic tests and I can't have a baby." Mariana said choking out the last few words.
"Oh sweetie" Callie said getting up from her booth and going to sit next to her sister pulling her into her side as Mariana cried into her neck.
"It's so silly, i'm morning something that was never even there" Mariana said
"It's not, it's perfectly reasonable. you have every right to be upset" Callie said as Mariana dried her eyes with a napkin.
"Did they say why? I mean so many things can be worked around now there's IVF and hormone treatments…" Callie said but Mariana shook her head.
"No, it's like I don't have the hormones, i'v just been missing them. I get my period every month but thats basically it." Mariana said.
"Did they say why?" Callie asked.
"Anna"
"Your birth mom, what does she have to do with anything?" Callie asked.
"The hormone effect they said I had. It's only really seen with people who have overdosed on meth. And since I have never touched the stuff…" Mariana said
"But can it be passed on?" Callie asked.
"Yes, since she was doing drugs when she was pregnant it turns out that it affected me." Mariana said.
"That sucks. I'm sorry that just really sucks" Callie shook her head not sure what to say.
"Ugh I have to tell Sam, he's not going to want to marry me" Mariana sighed putting her head down on the table.
"No way, your saint of a fiancé, Mariana he loves you no matter what. This is just a set back, if you guys want a family you will find a way to have one. It will be ok" Callie said.
"Don't tell moms ok? I know thats going to be a big smothering hugging love fest and I'm not ready for that yet" Mariana said.
"I won't" Callie promised.
"Ugh, this day sucks" Mariana sighed, Callie just nodded her agreement, the day had been sucking since she dropped Harry off for his last day of school
"I know what could make it better" Callie said.
"what?" Mariana asked putting her head up
"that death by chocolate cake we keep saying we are going to try"
"Who's diet does that fit into?" Mariana said but a smile cracked onto our face.
"Ours, because today is the day we made a little less suckier by eating the best cake ever" Callie said ordering a slice.