The hospital bustles around him. Patients shuffle slowly (some of them walking for the first time since before whatever surgery they had come in for), nurses carry medications from one room to the next, and random visitors float about, but Derek notices none of this, because he is focused on one thing, and one thing only.
Meredith Grey.
From where he stands—leaning against the nurses' desk, his ankles crossed, one hand shoved into his pocket, the other clutching his briefcase— he watches as she helps one of her patients take one step at a time. Meredith's eyes shine with pride as the older woman, who is holding onto her arm for dear life, slides her right foot forward until it is even with the left one. It's good to see Meredith's eyes light up like that, even if it is but for a brief moment. Even if it is only a flicker, or a flash. She has even smiled twice in the last five minutes since he has been watching her from a good distance, and both times Derek's world has shifted. And how can it not when every emotion Meredith's feels, be it sadness or elation, can be felt by him, too? It's easy for these things to happen when she holds his heart in the palms of her tiny hands.
"Stop staring at her like that." Comes a familiar voice from behind him. "Anyone who doesn't know you will think you're a creepy stalker, or something."
Derek chuckles slightly and reluctantly pulls his eyes away from Meredith for a moment. "I'm not a creepy stalker." He replies defensively.
"Okay, well then stop staring at her like she's going to fall apart at any second." Cristina says, looking up from the chart she has just placed on top of the desk to meet Derek's gaze straight on. He sighs and tilts his head.
"Isn't she, though? About to fall apart, I mean?" Derek asks with heavy sadness in his voice. He takes another glance down the hallway, staring forlornly at the woman who has the power to break him and save him with just one look from her deep, aquamarine eyes. She is so strong, yet so fragile all at once.
"She says she's fine." Cristina says half-heartedly. Her voice sounds flat and it is obvious that she doesn't believe her own statement.
"She always says she's fine." Derek mutters, not bothering to hide the slight anger and annoyance in his voice. He doesn't want to be angry at her, because he knows it won't do either of them any good. But, he can't help but want to just shake her sometimes and tell her that he is angry, even though he realises at the same time that it is a wasted emotion when it comes to their situation. He's trying to be supportive, but it's hard for him to be supportive when she keeps putting him at a distance.
"I know." Cristina sighs. "Just give her time, Derek. You and I both know she's anything but 'fine', but we can only do so much."
Derek turns to look at her again and she can see the sadness and disappointment in his eyes. "At least she talks to you. At least she lets you in." He says dejectedly. "She gives me frightened looks when I bring her coffee."
Cristina stares at him, hating the look in his eyes, and even more so hating the way her insides are battling against one another. A part of her wants to be true to her hard core personality and give him a sarcastic remark so that her emotions aren't all out on the table for him to see, and the other part-the part that seems to be winning against her better judgment-wants to tell him to hang in there and wait it out.
She nearly hates herself for what she's about to say, because she knows Meredith would be mortified if she let Derek in on this little secret, but she chooses to ignore that aspect, because despite the hard core personality on the surface, she is human underneath it all, and she can't bare to see that pathetic look in Derek's eyes any longer, so she soldiers on anyway.
"Don't give up on her, Derek." She says quietly, rolling her eyes at her own voice. "I know Meredith is hard to get close to, but... she may surprise you. So, just... don't give up, okay?" She wants to clobber herself for giving life to those words, but there is nothing she can do about it now.
A tiny flicker of hope dances in his eyes upon hearing these words and he can't help but smile at Cristina. For her to say something like this to him signifies that there's some inside information that he doesn't know about. Some secret girl talk thing that only happens between Meredith and her person. It doesn't matter what it is, and frankly, he doesn't want any details. But, there is hope to cling to for the first time in a while and he latches on tightly with both hands, unwilling to let it go for even a second.
"Thank you." He says sincerely. His smile is warm and his chest feels a little lighter.
Worried that he might accidentally say something, Cristina straightens up and narrows her eyes at him. "If you say anything... I will hurt you and make it look like an accident," She all but promises. She doesn't need this getting back to Meredith.
"You're secret is safe with me." Derek chuckles at the deathly look in Cristina's eyes, although he knows that it is really not a joke. She really is capable of something like that.
"Don't even mention that we've talked about anything at all. I have a rep to protect around here and I don't need anyone knowing that I've let my guard down. Especially to you."
Derek nods his understanding and mimics zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key over his shoulder, all the while smirking at her pinched expression. Annoyed with herself for what has just transpired between them, Cristina feels that she must distance herself as far away from the situation as she possibly can.
"I'm going for a drink now." She mutters, ignoring the chuckle that escapes Derek's lips. "Don't press your luck," She warns without looking in Derek's direction. She doesn't have to elaborate for him to understand that she is talking about his situation with Meredith. Before he can reply, however, she is retreating down the opposite end of the hallway as fast as her feet can carry her.
When she is out of sight, Derek turns and continues leaning against the desk as he watches Meredith advanced toward him with her patient. After a few steps, Meredith looks up and their eyes meet. He doesn't know whether she's still smiling because of her patient's progress, or if she is genuinely smiling directly at him, but it doesn't really matter. All that he knows is that there is a twinkle in her eyes that he hasn't seen in a very long time, and she is smiling.
And that makes him smile, too.