OK, I have made a resolution to be a bit more chatty with you all during this season. One of the easier things about writing a zomromcom is that you don't have to worry too much about military accuracy, given that you are already asking your reader to suspend belief to an enormous extent. Having said that I do try to inject some credibility into the story every now and again.
On that basis all of the places mentioned in this chapter are real and roughly where I say they are. Marfa is a beautiful desert town used many times as a film location. Its chamber of commerce web site is informative, well presented and justly poud of the town, its past, present and future. I understand from the story stats on this site that I may have as many as four US readers. On that basis, if by some incredible coincidence one or more of you is a resident or native of this town, or has any other reason for holding the place dear in some way, can I make clear that the characters and events portrayed in this bit of nonsense are just a figment of my deranged imagination and should be treated as such.
Thank you all so much for your incredibly kind comments on the last chapter. I hope you like this next one and as always welcome your feedback. Now settle back into the SHAAtt position and happy reading.
Sheriff Wyatt hitched up his gun belt, straightened his Stetson and walked towards the small group of figures on the far side if the pasture, his spurs clinking at each step. As he got closer it became clear that they were clustered around an object which formed a dark mass on the floor of the rough pasture. Among the group was Nate Williams, the rancher whose land he was crossing and whose voice drifted towards him on the light breeze.
"...third this week. I ain't seen nothin' like it"
The rancher then caught sight of the sheriff and turned towards him. Nodding his head in greeting. "Mornin' Jed. Thanks for comin' out" he said.
"No problem Nate, what we got here?" Replied the Sheriff.
"Another of ma best head of cattle torn limb from limb is what we got. Just like the others. We ain't touched nothin' like you asked"
The sheriff stopped next to the farmer and surveyed the scene. It was indeed like the others he had seen. The cow had been eviscerated, its belly ripped open and its innards spilled onto the dusty desert floor. There were also deep gouges along its neck and haunches which looked very much like bites from a wild animal.
"Whatever it is that's doin' this is a big critter and needs to be hunted down and shot" said one of the other men, a wrangler on the ranch.
"Hard to hunt an animal that leaves no tracks" pointed out the Sheriff. Although there have been plenty of human ones he thought to himself.
The men were silent for a time then the sheriff cleared his throat and said "I'll send a couple of deputies out with a truck to pick the body up"
Nate looked at the Sheriff "Why you keep takin' the bodies away Jed. You ain't got an arrangement with Jolene's Diner have you?"
Sheriff Wyatt laughed humourlessly "Na, need it for evidence and such..."
"You doin' one of them there autopsies on 'em?" Asked the wrangler
"That kinda thing, yep" he replied.
Wyatt then nodded and strode back across the pasture to his car, an expression of deep concern on his face. Something strange was going on and he didn't like it. It had started with that plane coming down with those dangerous chemicals on board. The crash had contaminated a large area of the desert, put Zeb and Zac in hospital and led to the army sealing off a large area around the wreckage. Now they had these attacks on cattle. The military were saying very little but telling him and his officers to do all kinds of strange things like quarantining dead animals and reporting anyone behaving strangely, all of which was to be kept top secret. To cap it all there was the military training exercise involving this famous limey zombie team. Wyatt didn't like being kept in the dark and resolved then and there to find out what was going on in his town, one way or another...
The temporary camp was taking shape slowly. Scores of Marines were unloading trucks and setting up tents of various sizes while fork lifts where carrying pallets and containers in all directions. James was supervising the setting up of the main operations centre with the help of Mansfield Mike, Brains and Smurf. The rest of three section were constructing their dormitory tent, under Dangleberries supervision, whilst Molly had joined the contingent of Marine medics in organising the small field hospital.
James was well satisfied with their progress following a very hectic 48 hours despite being without Kinders, Fingers or Nude Nut who were all in Syria with Lieutenant Samuels . After flying in to Holloman Air Force base in New Mexico, James and Molly had rendezvoused with three section and the Marine contingent at Fort Bliss, just across the state line in El Paso, Texas before travelling to the small town if Marfa by road. James had been relieved to find his men and their equipment all present and correct after such a rushed deployment. Mansfield Mike had assured him that all had gone smoothly.
"Actually sir, it was a relief to be able to get away to be honest" the Corporal had confided to James
"How so?" enquired James
"Don't mention anything to Mrs James sir but let's just say that since the Upton Park operation I have been the subject of...unsought female attention" said Mansfield Mike carefully
"I can certainly relate to that Corporal but what's Molly got to do with it?" Asked James confused
"The female involved is a errr...relative of hers" said Mansfield uncomfortably "A relative of a certain age..."
James stared at his corporal "Really?"
"Yes sir" said Mansfield
"You're talking about Nan, right?" Clarified James
"Yes sir" came the response
"Well, I trust your conduct has been unimpeachable" said James
"I don't know what that means, sir but I ain't tried to jump her if that's what your getting at?" said Mansfield.
"Not really but thanks for the image Corporal. I just mean be careful, 'cos once these cougars get their claws into you they will eat you alive" said James with a hint of a smile
Mansfield Mike had looked at James and frowned "Your mocking me aren't you sir"
"Oh most definitely" concluded the Major.
Once the operations centre had been completed James called a briefing of officers and senior NCOs to run through the programme of operations. This would initially involve an investigation of the crash site and surrounding area, including the scenes of the cattle attacks.
"Lance Corporal Dawes, you will lead on the examination of the slaughtered cattle with a view to ascertaining the likely involvement of zombies" Ordered James
"Sir" replied Molly
"Captain Dwight, you will provide support and liaison with the local authorities across all our activities" said James
"Hua sir!" said Dwight
"Who what?" Said James
"No sir, hua, sir - heard, understood and acknowledged " responded Dwight
"OK good" said James "oh that reminds me Dwight, I understand that the Mayor of Marfa has invited us to a small informal reception in town shortly"
"Sir, yes sir, 1400 hours at the ville 3 clicks from our present location sir, hua!"
"Errr...OK, good well we best not be late, dismissed"
Lieutenant Dwight approached James as the others filed out.
"Sir, permission to speak sir"
"Of course Dwight, what is it?"
"Sir, I respectfully request that you used my surname in front of the men. Keeps it professional" said Dwight
James stared at the Captain "Sooo you would prefer I call you Dwight instead of...Dwight"
"Sir, yes sir!"
" Of course Captain, consider it done" replied James with a forced smile...
An hour later, James was sitting in the APC with the rest of three section as they rolled into town and onto Main Street, the broad thoroughfare which would take them to Marfa's modest town hall. As they neared the centre of the small municipality the sound of brass band music and cheering drifted in through the open window.
James frowned and looked at Molly. "Sounds like some kind of event is in progress" he commented.
"These yanks dont need much of an excuse to have a parade" replied the medic.
James smiled briefly but then frowned again as an uncomfortable feeling started to grow in his stomach.
Just then Mansfield called through from the drivers seat. "Sir, you better come and have a look at this"
The Major moved through the vehicle and entered the drivers cab to be greeted by the sight of a marching band through the windscreen. The body of musicians had formed up in front of the APC and was marching along playing 'Happy Days Are Here Again'
"Ah, I see" said James. "OK just keep driving corporal and try not to run over the base drummer at the back there"
"Sir" called Molly from the back.
"Oh god, what now" muttered James and clambered back into the rear where he was directed to the scene behind them. A large carnival float was keeping pace with the APC. On the flat bed trailer sat a pretty young lady, on a throne and dressed in a white gown and tiara waving regally to the ever growing crowd which lined the pavement. This female was flanked by two figures dressed in large green sponge bodysuits and enormous papier mache heads incorporating bulging red eyes. As these individuals pranced around to the music from the marching band, green bubbles issued from large gaping mouths in the middle of their oversized heads and drifted up towards the large painted banner which had been hung above them and proclaimed "Marfa's Carnival Queen Welcomes the SZS!"
James sat back in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair. "Arse" he muttered succinctly then looked at his troops "OK, its too late to beat a retreat now, it would only cause offence and we need the support of the local population if this mission is to succeed. So just smile and wave, three section,...smile and wave"
A few minutes later they arrived at the town hall and James had his troops disembark and form up alongside the vehicle. A large dais had been set up in front of the building and bedecked with union jacks and stars and stripes. A group of dignitaries stood on the raised platform and at their centre beamed a short, rotund man dressed in a white three piece suit and cowboy hat, puffing on the largest cigar James had ever seen.
As James watched the man raised both hands in the air in greeting and jogged down the stairs of the dais towards three section. James moved forward to meet him but the man walked right passed the major and directly to Mansfield Mike exclaiming "Your Royal Highness, as mayor of Marfa, it is ma honour to welcome you to our humble township." He then, removed his hat, bowed awkwardly and continued "Harim Franklin Hambleton the Third at your service sir"
James stared in consternation then advanced at speed towards the mayor. As he passed Molly she muttered "Hearts and minds, sir" and he checked his pace, paused momentarily then approached the large man at a more sedate pace whilst Mansfield Mike opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.
"Mayor Hambleton, l'm Major James, the prince's errr...equerry and..."
"Beat it flunky..." Said the Mayor without removing his gaze from Mansfield Mike.
James bit his lip and threw a pleading look at the Corporal who finally pulled himself together and said "You will, of course, recognise the world famous commander of the SZS and hero of the battle of Upton Park..."
The Mayor turned to look at James for the first time and said "of course, of course welcome to you as well Major" before beckoning the party to follow him to the dais where a battery of photographers waited.
James fell in alongside Mansfield Mike and whispered urgently "Just play along for now. Say as little as possible."
"I'll have to say something, I'm about to be introduced to half the town" said the Corporal desperately.
"OK, ok" said James and thought furiously "Just ask people what they do...and whatever they say, tell them that it sounds really interesting"
As they mounted the stairs to the platform James turned to Brains and nodded to the assembled photographers. "Tell Captain Dwight I need those cameras confiscated as soon as this charade is over and to ensure there is a complete media blackout about this"
Brains nodded and doubled back to the APC to radio back to base.
By this time Mansfield Mike was being introduced to the first dignitary.
"Your highness this is Sheriff Wyatt" said Mayor Hambleton
Mansfield beamed his best smile "Ah Sheriff Wyatt...and what do you do around here?"
"I'm the Sheriff, sir" came the bemused reply
"Oh how very interesting...and funny that you have the same job as your first name" said the Corporal amiably as he was ushered past.
James grimaced "Please god let this be over soon..."
After some further introductions Mayor Hambleton stepped up to a microphone and addressed the crowd "It is with great pride that I welcome your royal highness to the beautiful town of Marfa. You will come to find that we are a small town with a big future..."
As the Mayor talked on, James leaned down to Molly and murmured "How the hell can they think that Mansfield is Prince Harry. Anyone with half an eye could tell the difference."
Molly grinned and whispered back "Marine medics were saying these remote desert towns can get very isolated. No internet, limited TV signals 'cos of the mountains...I guess no one has seen an up to date picture of him for months if not years. They're expecting to see him as he's our Colonel and have grabbed the first red head in a uniform"
James shook his head and focussed in again on the mayor's speech "Now we have a royal association we will no longer be thought of as just another remote desert town, the haunt of UFO nuts, new age hobos and paleontologists, peddling their Darwinian nonsense. Anyways, that's enough of my gas bagging, its time to hear from the man himself, Prince Harry!"
"Oh shit" hissed James but before he could intervene the corporal had the mic and was clearing his throat.
"Hello Marfa!" He bellowed and thrust both hands in the air. The crowd responded with cheers and applause. "I have only been here a few hours but can see this place is almost as beautiful as Derby!" This time less certain applause..."Anyway, I hope to sample the local night life while I am here so if your carnival queen wants to give this prince her number..." The crowd fell silent.
James strode over with a look of panic on his face "Wind it up now!" He whispered furiously.
The corporal nodded and smiled at the crowd "And as for palaeontologists, who wants to study buckets anyway? Thank you and good night!"
Mansfield then returned the microphone to the mayor who now looked a little baffled but waved to the crowed before leading Mansfield Mike and the rest of three section into the town hall behind them.
James walked with his head in his hands then looked at Molly. "I think this mission has just got very complicated" he said.
His wife smiled and squeezed his arm. "Do we do uncomplicated then?" She said before walking beside him through the doorway.
Sheriff Wyatt watched them both curiously before following a little distance behind.
In Main Street the crowd had started to disperse save for a loan figure who had only just arrived in town from Los Angeles and clutched a large briefcase close to his chest.