Hello everyone! Here we are again with another SZS chapter ready for you to pop out of its wrapper and dissolve in a glass of water. I'm not going to pretend it will cure a hang over or ease your aching limbs but it may just take your mind off things for a while. We are nearly into the home stretch on this story with three chapters to go after this one. I just need to work out how the bloody thing is going to end in a vaguely coherent way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest installment and thank you once again for your continued patronage. Oh, and why not enhance your reading experience by checking out the SZS web site (still can't post the address on here but see beginning of chapter 40) , although be warned there are some pictures of very dodgy underwear on it.
Rupert paced the cabin impatiently. Where the hell was the man? It was near dawn and Bertie wasn't back. Surely to god he couldn't still be with that moron, talking about trains?
The previous evening, after leaving the restaurant and having that strange conversation with Jonathan Beck, Rupert had made straight for the cabin and had waited impatiently for the return of his room mate. After an hour had past and there was no sign of him, he had ventured back to the restaurant to search for Bertie but it was clear the party had broken up and dispersed. Enquiries to the head waiter had confirmed that the diners had gone their separate ways soon after Rupert himself had left and that Joanna and Mr Chaplin had departed together, although he had no idea where.
Rupert had tried a number of the nearest cafes and bars but the ship had over thirty such establishments and he had soon given up, in the hope that he would discover Bertie back at the cabin. When he returned to find it empty, he had slumped crossly in a chair and had resolved to await his companions return, at which point he would give him a piece of his mind. As he sat, he had eflected on the events of the evening.
He had had to admit to himself that going to the dinner would appear to have been a mistake, but he had been forced to accede to that infernal Norman James' constant badgering, for fear of his and Bertie's continuing refusals raising suspicions. Rupert had been caught on the horns of a dilemma in that regard but had reasoned that their attendance at the dinner may be of benefit in the longer run if it stopped the man's dogged persual of their company.
If he was honest, Rupert had also wanted to see Charles James, to be able to observe him at close quartets and take some pleasure in knowing that the major had no inkling of Rupert's true identity or his reason for being on the cruise. As he had looked on in malevolent enjoyment at James' discomfort at his parents strange behaviour during the meal, he had resolved to ensure that before leaving the ship he would try once more to extract his revenge on the man who had stolen the only woman he had ever loved. With that happy thought Rupert had drifted off to asleep, only having woken up a few minutes previously to find that he was still alone in the cabin.
After checking his watch and pacing the room once more, Rupert threw up his arms and reached for a shawl, resolving to make a thorough search of the ship for his absent travelling companion. However, as he reached the door, it opened suddenly, knocking into him painfully and sending him reeling backwards into a nearby chair. Bertie wafted into the room beeming from ear to ear and carrying a single red rose in his hand. He closed the door with his heel then did a graceful pirouette before raising the flower to his nose and breathing deeply of its scent and sighing wistfully.
"Where the bloody hell have you been?" said Rupert harshly as he raised himself from the chair he had fallen into. "I've been at my wits end"
Bertie jumped in surprise at the sudden question then smiled dreamily at Rupert "I've been on a magic carpet ride, an enchanted journey, a romantic voyage of the imagination"
"What are you talking about you imbecile? I thought you'd been rumbled, that any minute I was going to get a knock at the door to say the sodding game was up. I mean, what were you thinking man?" Spluttered Rupert
"Thinking?" Replied Bertie distantly "It was an evening beyond thought, beyond logic or reason. We were caught up in the moment, carried away on the tide of our mutual folly. We talked and talked, we laughed, we drank, we danced..."
"You were out all night with that idiot Chaplin?" Asked Rupert incredulously
"His first name is Thomas, and the man is a genious. His knowledge is awe inspiring and his passion...intoxicating. I was powerless to resist his charms"
"But, but your not saying you actually had...you know, with him"
Bertie bridled "Of course not!, what do you take me for?"
"Well good" said Rupert
"I mean we've only just met...a girl can't just throw herself at the first man who comes along"
Rupert stared at his friend in consternation. Bertie, taking in the look, lifted his hands in the air "All right, all right, its nothing like that. Its just that after six months inside it was nice to talk to someone about steam trains, to be treated with consideration and respect..."
Rupert breathed out then said in a more conciliatory tone "OK I get that, but we are so close Bertie. Just a few more days and we will be at the pick up point. We can sell the pathogen then have the means to get clean away, build a new life, leave the past behind us..."
Bertie regarded his friend thoughtfully "Is that true Rupert? Because from what I could see last night, you are still carrying a very large chip on your shoulder with regard to Major James"
Rupert scowled and the twitching in his eye recommenced "That is none of your concern Bertie. I will deal with James in my own good time and on my terms"
"Surely its time to let this vendetta you have go, Rupert, for all our sakes?" Said Bertie
His companion narrowed his eyes "Some things just cannot be forgiven" he replied before walking slowly out onto the balcony and staring moodily out to sea...
James became aware of his pounding headache first, shortly followed by the horrible taste in his mouth and the ache in his limbs. He lay still in bed wishing he could drift back into unconsciousness and not have to face the repercussions of his heavy drinking the previous evening. He kept his eyes shut knowing that to open them would be to invite a whole series of further unpleasant sensations into his little world of misery. However, as he lay there a new imperative grew steadily which soon started to outweigh all other considerations. He tried his best to ignore it but in the end he had to admit to himself that he was breaking his neck to have a piss.
He considered his options. Simply wetting the bed was out of the question, a moment of relief would be followed by a much longer period of regret, allied with the embarrassment of having to explain to Molly what had happened. At least she wasn't there to witness it being up and about already, James assumed, but still that was a non starter.
He could endevour to find some kind of container close at hand to relieve himself into. He tried to visualise what was within easy reach of the bed which would be large enough given that, from the messages he was getting from his bladder, it would need to have a capacity of several pints. However, nothing came to mind except a small vase of flowers he remembered being on the bedside table which would be woefully inadequate and probably half full of liquid already.
By now the pressure on his bladder was moving from discomfort to outright pain and James reluctantly conceded to himself that he would need to get up and go to the toilet. He knew that the proposition would only be manageable if he reintroduced his body to the concept of upright motion in a series of easy stages, starting with rolling onto his side and getting one foot on the floor. This accomplished he swung the other foot down and very slowly raised his head until he was in a hunched sitting position, his face cradled in both hands. At this point James paused to let the inevitable wave of nausea pass. Once the spinning in his head had eased and the cold sweating abated slightly, James cautiously raised his head and used his now free hands to lift himself tentatively off the bed until he stood, albeit doubled over and swaying slightly from side to side.
James quickly decided that this would be as erect as he could manage and proceeded to shuffle forward, body bent at the waist and arms dangling, much like an ape. With his eyes still firmly shut he sought the wall of the cabin and through a combination of touch and recollection made his way towards the bathroom. His hand soon encountered a doorframe and shortly after a familiar handle which he duly turned, gaining access to the room beyond. Not bothering with the light James groped forward until his shins encountered the edge of the toilet bowl, at which point he gratefully and noisily releived himself into the receptical.
The stream was just beginning to ebb when a voice cut into James' blissful reveree
"Everything all right sir?"
James turned towards the noise, opening his eyes tentatively for the first time. The smiling face if a white jacketed steward was revealed.
James stared at the man in consternation "What the hell are you doing in my bathroom?"
The steward grimaced apologetically then explained " I'm not in your bathroom sir, I'm in the corridor outside your cabin, and you have just urinated into my cleaning bucket"
James looked from the man to the hallway behind him, which ran off for some distance, then down to the small trolley between his legs. A metal bucket sat in a purpose made space on the trolley and was now a good way to being full of a frothy liquid.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I must have taken a wrong turning somewhere" said James
"Not to worry sir" said the steward " Happens all the time"
"Really?" Replied James
"No, not really sir, but on the bright side, I needed to change the water anyway"
"Well that's good then" agreed James who, detecting a slight breeze, quickly put himself away and retreated back into the cabin. He returned to the bed and sat down, realising for the first time that he was not in his own room. He tried to work out what could have happened the previous night to prevent him returning to his cabin. He remembered the dinner, the argument with Molly and how he had gone for a long walk before ending up in the Occidental bar and climbing into a bottle of whiskey. His memory then started to get a bit hazy.
He had assumed that he had managed to make his way back to his and Molly's cabin but that had obviously not been the case. Who's ever room this was had obviously left him to sleep off his overindulgence. He wondered who that could have been and started to look around the room for clues.
His eyes came to rest on a dressing table which seemed to be full of ladies cosmetics, while some discarded clothes on a chair also indicated a female inhabitant of the room. James, started to worry. He moved to the wardrobe and opened the door. It was full of women's clothing. Turning to the bed it was obvious from the state of the covers and pillows that he had not been its sole occupier.
"Oh god, what have you done?" muttered James to himself, a dreadful realisation spreading over him. He looked around for his clothes, desperate to be gone before the woman he had spent the night with returned. He found them folded on a chair and frantically pulled them on before making for the door. However, as he put his hand on the door knob James hesitated. He couldn't just leave without saying anything. He needed to apologise, to explain.
Grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil James scribbled 'We need to talk, meet me in the Occidental at 15.00 hours' before leaving the note on the dressing table and walking out of the cabin.
James hurried down the corridor, his thoughts in turmoil. How could he have let this happen? What had possessed him to seek the arms of another woman? What was he going to tell Molly? He realised that he would need to confess but the thought filled him with dread. He shook his head and set his jaw. It would have to be done, honesty was the very least she deserved.
As James approached his cabin he slowed and took a deep breath, he then pulled his key card out and was about to unlock the door when it was opened suddenly from inside. Molly, who was on her way out, stopped in surprise at the sight of James before folding her arms and glaring at him.
"Oh, so you're back then"
James smiled sheepishly "Afraid I got a bit smashed and crashed out"
"I know" replied Molly sternly
"You do. How?"
"Because the person you spent the night with told me"
James started in disbelief, the colour draining from his face, before he reached for his wife's hand "Oh god Molly, I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would in a second. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing."
"I would save your apologies for your room mate, apparently they didn't get much sleep cos of you"
"Really?" Said James horrified "I'm surprised I was in a fit state to do anything."
"Oh apparently you were quite noisy"
James put his head in his hands "This is a nightmare. Listen I don't care about that, I care about us. Can you ever forgive me for what I did last night?"
Molly hesitated before speaking "I think you need to talk about this with your parents rather than me"
James looked at his wife in confusion "What has this got to do with them? This is between you and me surely"
Molly shook her head "No Charles, I can tell your behaviour really upset them"
"What?" He exclaimed "How the hell did they find out!"
"They were there Charles. They heard and saw everything, as did the rest of the dinner guests" said Molly
James gawped at his companion. "I don't understand..."
"Do I need to draw you a picture?" Asked Molly
"Oh god, no please don't" replied her husband
Just then Jonathan appeared around a corner of the corridor "Ah, there you are you drunken reprobate. Eventually crawled back to your own room have you?"
"Oh Jesus, does everyone know?" Said James in disbelief
"And what's all this about meeting me at the Occidental at 15.00 hours?" Said Jonathan waving a piece of paper at James "I was hoping we could grab some lunch together before I disembark"
James stared at his friend in confusion for a second before realisation slowly dawned "Oh thank God, thank God, thank God" he cried falling to his knees in relief.
"Goodness its only lunch dear, and the least you can do for keeping me up all night with your stentorian snoring" smiled Jonathan
"Yes of course" Laughed James then turning to Molly he kissed her tenderly and said "I really am sorry for being an idiot and I will have a talk with mum and dad about the stuff that happened at dinner. Any idea where they are?"
James quickly showered and changed and went up on deck with Molly. Expecting to see a broad expanse of water beyond the railing he was momentarily taken aback to find the ship journeying through a landscape of sand dunes which extended as far as the horizon. Molly, seeing his confusion, explained that they had entered the Suez canal earlier that morning and were now crossing from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea.
After taking in the view for a time, they made their way aft in search of James' parents. They found Mrs James seated on a deck chair taking the sun.
"Hello mum" said Charles drawing up a seat for Molly beside her and grabbing another for himself.
"Oh, hello dear. You look a bit peaky"
"Yes, something I ate I think"
"Really?" replied Dorothy "I thought it might be the copious amounts of booze you put away last night"
Molly grinned at her husband who nodded his head "Ah, yes you might be right" then, quickly changing the subject, asked "Where's dad?"
"Up there" she said nodding
James followed her gaze "What, on the upper deck?"
"No, up there" repeated his mother nodding again but more emphatically
James looked beyond the ship's superstructure and into the deep blue sky, shading his eyes from the glare with his hand. "I can't see anything, except some idiot being pulled along by that motor boat."
"Yep, that's him. He's been going on about doing some paralysing since we got on board. Someone told him you get a great view of the desert from up there"
"Its called parascending" corrected James in a distracted voice before watching the distant figure in concerned silence for a time. "Actually if he keeps moving about like that your description may prove to be the more accurate. What is he trying to do?"
Mrs James glanced up "Oh he's probably fiddling with the rope thingy. He isn't one for leaving anything alone if he an help it, your father."
"Well he needs to try" said James
"You're just as bad Charles" countered Dorothy "Always fiddling with your hands when you're nervous. Mind you, you were worse as a small boy, constantly playing with your little dingle dangle, its a wonder it didn't fall off."
"Now that would have a been a tragedy" muttered Molly
"Mother please!" Pleaded James "Can you keep your voice down" then in a pointed whisper to Molly "And you can be quiet as well" He then turned back to stare at the progress of his father who had been pulled by the motorboat in a wide arc and was heading back in the direction of the ship. Suddenly the distant figure shot upwards while the rope tethering it to the boat fell to earth.
"Oh god, he's only gone and unclipped himself" gasped James, at the same time running to the railing. He was joined there by his wife and mother and all three followed Norman James as he descended gently towards the ship kicking his legs wildly and pulling fruitlessly on a loose rope end.
As they watched the canopy snagged on a cable stay supporting the ships funnel, leaving Norman dangling like a puppet. James looked balefully at his father, then at Molly and his mother. "I better go and help get him down." He said before trudging off towards the hanging figure.
As James arrived at the scene a couple if crew members were manhandling a ladder into position and within minutes Norman had been cut free of the parachute. Descending to the deck Mr James spotted his son and waved "I knew that rope wasn't on properly."
"Yes" said James "I could see it only took five minutes of concerted effort on your part to have it uncoupled"
"Exactly" replied his father "Its a disgrace. I could have ended up in the middle of the Arabian desert."
"I'd never be that lucky" muttered James
"Anyway" continued his father "You OK?"
"Yer, great" replied James
"Its just you left a bit abruptly last night"
"Oh well, sorry about that, I was just a bit tired"
"I'm not surprised, you seem quite stressed boy. Try and lighten up, you're supposed to be on holiday after all" suggested Norman
"Yes, of course your right" said James
"One thing your mother and I do to cheer ourselves up is pop into one of your friend Jonathan's shops"
"Really?" Said James "You...use his products?"
"Oh god no, we've both gone commando for years. We just have a good laugh at some of the contraptions they sell there. I mean bras with headlights indeed! Does anyone actually use those things?"
"Err, some people do I understand"
"Amazing" said Norman shaking his head.
"Anyway dad, Molly and I are having lunch with Jonathan later if you and mum want to join us?" Asked James
"Capital idea, I can ask him where he gets all his strange ideas from" replied Norman
"Oh good, can't wait" muttered James...
Later that afternoon James and Molly met the rest of the SZS in the back room of Jonathan's for their regular briefing. Lieutenant Samuels was there with something of a hunted look on his face.
"You alright Martin?" Asked James in concern, "You look a little harassed"
"Oh, I'm OK sir" he replied "Just the majorette assignment's getting a bit...interesting. I'm currently trying to evade a couple of boulders"
"Boulders man, what are you going on about?" Probed James
"Trust me sir, you don't want to know" said Samuels
"Think he's caught between a rock and a hard place sir" said Mansfield Mike with a smile
"Yer" joined in Fingers "Trying to choose the lesser of two pebbles"
"Stopped him stone dead it has" added Brains
"All right, all right that will do" cut in Samuels testily
James, deciding it was high time the briefing got under way, strode to the head of the small table and rubbed his hands together "Right, let's rock and roll" he said, causing laughter around the room. "Oh, apologies Lieutenant" spluttered the Major "I didn't mean to..."
"Its fine, sir. Don't worry" replied Samuels with a pained expression
"OK" carried on James "We have now entered the Red Sea and will be docking at Aqaba later today. The day after tomorrow we will be sailing into the zone of pirate activity so let's go to high alert. I want the weapons and antidote containers moved up from the hold to the store room for easy access. Kinders can you organise that?"
"Boss" replied the Sargent
"Samuels I want everyone to be issued with two antidote wands apiece which are to be carried at all times. Lets also break out the radios but keep them out of sight" Said James
"Sir"
"From what we understand" continued the major,"the attacks will come with little warning and are over very quickly so we need to stay focussed. Its noses to the grindstone I'm afraid lads...oh bugger I've done it again!"
"Not a problem sir" called Samuels
"Right then, you all know what you've got to do, dismissed"
James watched his people file out of the room. The holiday was over, he reflected, it was time to get serious...