Anthony
I miss Bear, but he stepped way out of line that night. I know I miss him un-Bear-ably when he starts coming into my dreams at night. I feel like it would be too wrong to just go back and apologise. I have to go to school, so I'm glad I don't have classes with him. Am I glad though?
It's not like me to hold myself back like this - to be so conservative. I want more than anything to go to his house, and hold him in my arms, and say I'm sorry for everything. Tell him I would never leave his grasp. Tell him he's the one for me. I would tell him that I love him so much, that I would do anything for him, anytime that he wants. I would tell him it was all my fault. All I want is to see him again, smell his hair, taste his lips. When I'm around Bear, I feel like nothing else matters and that the only priority I have, I need, is him.
Coming back into reality, I'm in my crimson room listening to Hailee Steinfeld, 'Love Myself'. I know, not the best song for this particular moment but it's really catchy. When it come to the chorus (Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else) I burst into tears, thinking I need Bem. More than anything, I need Bem. I could go years without eating and live off the love Bem gives me. Maybe I could run away, sleep in Bem's room, be close to him all the time.
We could stay up late, talking. We could cuddle, and.. Why am I thinking things like this? Why is my mind so… lonely? Am I that desperate to be that close to him, that I would run away so we could be touching all the time?
The answer to that is yes.