Dear reader, here we go with the last chapter of the current SZS adventure. Sorry its a bit longer than I intended but there were a number of things I needed to pull together. I do hope you persever to the end and that it brightens this rather dull and wet Sunday for you. I must admit to standing on the shoulders of some comedy giants in this instalment and you may recognise contributions from Les Dawson, Billy Wilder and my long time collaborators on a certain netmums thread.
As to whether there will be other adventures, who know, but for the time being can I thank you all again for your support and comments. I find it hard to believe that I am still cranking these chapters out six months after the first installment but in large part it is because of the encouragement I have received from you good people.
James gripped the antidote wand in his sweating palm and squared his shoulders. The zombies had paused at his determined advance, sensing danger but unwilling to yield ground as the irresistible chemical pull of the lone figure held them in its iron grip. James eyed the zombies appraisingly then spoke over his shoulder "I'll hold them off as long as I can. Hopefully I'll be able to distract enough of them for a sufficient time to let both of you slip past in the confusion. Don't try and help me, whatever you see or hear just keep going. I know that's going to be hard given our history together and the bond we have but you've got to try, for the sake of the mission and every soul on board. Do you understand?"
There was silence from behind.
"I said do you understand?"
When there was again no response James turned to find himself alone in the corridor, with no sign of either Molly or Mansfield Mike.
"Oh, OK not as hard for you as I thought then...fine"
James looked back at the zombies to find they had started to cautiously advance on him again. The major crouched and retreated slowly until he was inches from the locked door. From the crowd of zombies came a chilling high pitched wail which seemed to break all restraint within the horde and they rushed forward as one towards James who braced himself against the door ready to take the inevitable impact.
However, to James' surprise the door to his rear suddenly opened causing him to stagger backwards and onto his behind. The door was then swiftly shut again on the advancing undead causing them to clatter noisily but ineffectually into it. James looked up dumbstruck at the solid barrier between him and the zombies, then at the figure who had provided his escape route. "Captain Bligh!" James exclaimed "Am I glad to see you. Your intervention is extremely timely as you may have gathered"
"Indeed Major, but it would have been even more timely if I could've got a word in edgeways during your noble farewell speech." Replied Bligh
"Ah, yes well ...got caught in the moment a bit..." Explained James
"I know you can't help yourself sometimes" said Molly emerging from behind James with a smile and helping him to his feet "I remember in Afghan standing around with heavy kit on for ages while you rabbited away about staying focussed and thinking, how can I do that with you droning on and on"
James frowned "It was supposed to be inspirational"
"Well it certainly inspired me" said Molly "To wear earplugs"
"Pearls before swine" muttered James then turned to the captain "How many people with you?"
Bligh smiled and indicated they should walk through to an adjacent room. Inside were two dozen passengers and crew standing or sitting in groups. James looked around the room then turned to the Captain "You've certainly done very well to keep these people safe here until now"
"Oh don't look at me" said Bligh with a shake of the head " The real heroes are..." But before he could finish a door at the far end of the room banged open and Norman James staggered in supporting an injured crewman while Doris followed him in carrying a full sack over her shoulder.
"Found this poor soul hiding out in the store room" called Norman as he handed the injured man over to one of his shipmates "Think its only a sprained ankle but he can hardly walk which got pretty hairy when we walked into a gaggle of the undead on the way back. Had to basically carry him while Dorothy fended them off with her sack. We've managed to find some food and water and there's a small first aid kit in there as well"
James looked on in stunned silence as his mother and father started to hand out food and medical supplies "Mum...Dad?" He managed to say after a pause.
"Charles!" They both cried in unison before decending on him and Molly with smiles and hugs.
"What have you been up to?" Asked James
"Oh just helping out dear" said his mother in an off hand way
"Nonsense" contradicted Bligh with a smile "We would all be zombies if it wasn't for them. They took charge, led us out of danger and found a place of safety."
"Oh, anyone would have done it" replied Norman with a wave of his hand "What we need to know is whether you two manage to switch your big iron off before all this nonsense happened?"
James stared at his father in confusion before realisation dawned "No dad, that was just a cover story"
"Ah, I knew it Dorothy" said Norman turning to his wife "They were sliding off to have sex!"
The whole room fell silent and looked over at James and his companions.
"No" hissed James to his Dad then to the room at large "No that's not it at all" causing a number of people to smile and wink conspiratorially at him.
"Oh god" muttered James then turning to his father once more "The truth is Molly and I were called away to deal with the zombie situation. We have been expecting an attack. Our holiday has been a cover so we could be here to you know...prevent it"
"Ah, I see" said Norman"...and how's that going?"
"Well, not all that great to be honest" admitted James
"No, I didn't think so." Responded Norman "Still I imagine help is on the way?"
"In a manner of speaking" confirmed James
"That manner being...?"
"The errr...manner which says actually there's no one around to help so we're sort of having to do something ourselves" continued James
Norman nodded pensively. "And your the best in the world at this game are you?"
"Apparently so" replied James uncomfortably, then addressing Captain Bligh he asked "OK, Captain, our aim is to reestablish command and control of the ship"
Bligh nodded sharply "Excellent, just the thing that needs to be done, right behind you and raring to go"
"You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?" Said James
"No not really" came the awkward response
"We have to get the ship under way again, avoid it running aground and head for the nearest safe port and you are just the man to make that happen Captain" explained James
"Oh god, you don't want me to drive the thing do you?" asked Bligh nervously "'Cos I only really ever use the steering wheel for publicity shots and promo videos and even then Mr Christian makes sure it's disconnected so I can spin it dramatically without actually moving the boat"
"No, no" reassured James "We can leave all that to the experts once we have transformed them back into themselves. What we need is for you to organise a show that will bring the house down"
Bligh beamed "Oh, I think I might be able to throw something together" said the Captain...
Rupert cracked open the door and stared into the darkness. The deck was deserted and an eerie silence reigned, made stranger by the silvery glow given to objects by the moon which was now riding high in the night sky. "This looks to be the place" he whispered to Bertie who hovered reluctantly just behind him.
"How do you know, all the levels look the same to me?" He replied
"I'm not likey to forget that monster grabbing my bag away in a hurry, it was just by that stairway and I'm sure I saw him fling the thing across the deck in that direction. My guess is its still where it came to rest, together with the pathogen vials which are our ticket out of here"
"Well take them and go then" said Bertie petulantly
"I've told you" stated Rupert "Your coming with me whether you like it or not" and so saying Rupert pushed his companion out of the door and into the darkness.
They both hugged the bulkhead as they headed aft, stopping frequently to listen for any signs of others approaching. In this way they made the top of the stairs where they paused behind a storage cabinet while Rupert scanned the darkness. "There" he suddenly pointed into the night with some excitement. Bertie followed his finger and spotted the dark mass on the floor a little distance away.
"You sure?" He whispered
"Positive" replied his companion, "Its my favourite tote handbag with the snake skin textured front panel and tone on tone appliquéd stripes. You remember, it has the straps that are short enough to carry over your forearm but long enough to sneak over your shoulder too. Bloody love that bag"
"Ah yes, I remember" said Bertie "You went for the sand coloured, embossed python leather which goes so well with that short jacket you have"
"That's it, I killed in that ensemble...literally." Reflected Rupert then: " Wait a minute, whose that?" As they watched a group of figures shuffled into view then stopped and milled around the railing a short distance from the bag.
"Shit, that's all we need" hissed Rupert "A group of bloody zombies"
"Maybe if we wait a bit they'll move on" suggested Bertie
"No time" growled Rupert "You'll just have to risk it"
Bertie looked at his companion "What do you mean I'll have to risk it?"
"Just move, fat boy" replied Rupert and shoved him roughly out from behind the cabinet
Bertie dropped to his hands and knees and started to crawl awkwardly towards the bag. Meanwhile the zombies continued to shuffle backwards and forwards between the railing and the bulkhead of the ship moaning softly. Bertie hugged the shadows created by the bright moon and was soon within a few metres of his goal. He then tentatively stretched out a hand and grabbed the bottom of the bag before lifting it gently from the deck and drawing it towards him.
Unfortunately Bertie failed to realise that the bag had not been zipped up. As he lifted and pulled, its contents spilled out noisily onto the deck and several items rolled away towards the zombies. A number of them turned their heads slowly and started to advance towards Bertie at a shuffling jog
"Cinders and ashes" he squeaked as he scrambled across the deck scooping up the spilled items before bolting back towards Rupert. Both men then ran towards the stern of the ship, the zombies hot on their heels.
Encumbered by the bag Bertie struggled to keep up with his companion and by the time Rupert swerved up a stairway leading to the deck above he was some way behind. At the top of the stairs Rupert turned around and frantically waved to Bertie "Come on, come on hurry up".
Bertie lumbered up the stairway breathing hard and clutching his side where a painful stitch had developed. With just a few steps to go he stumbled and went sprawling full length. Rupert crouched and held out his hand calling " The bag, give me the bag!"
Bertie heaved the bag towards him and Rupert grabbed it. However when Bertie raised his hand to be pulled up, Rupert stared at it then at the writhing crowd of zombies, a look of terror in his eyes. He slowly rose and backed away, shaking his head. "Rupert for god sake!" Cried Bertie but the other man muttered a half strangled, "I'm sorry" before fleeing the scene as the zombies seized Bertie's ankles and started dragging him down the stairs.
Bertie kicked against the clawing hands frantically, managing to break free briefly and ascend a few steps before feeling the cold fingers close around his legs once more. "Help. Please somebody help!" He cried in desperation as he bumped down the stairs again. He was becoming exhausted and began to realise that he did not have enough strength to wrench himself free again. With this realisation came a strange calmness as he waited for the inevitable bite but instead he felt his wrist being gripped and pulled from above.
Bertie looked up into the face of Thomas Chaplin who smiled and said "Come on old girl, let's get you decoupled from those sleeper carriages and shunted into a safe siding"
The sight of the friendly face and encouraging words gave Bertie renewed hope and strength and he kicked out once more, wrenching himself free and scrambling up the stairs. "This way" cried Chaplin as he led Bertie along the deck and behind a stack of sun loungers. "Wait here" he ordered as he crawled over to a small gate set into the ships rail and released a catch. "All aboard" he whispered as he beckoned Bertie through the gate, down a short ladder and into the Demeter's motorboat which swung from its davits above the inky waters of the Red Sea...
James led Molly, Mansfield, his parents, Bligh and about a dozen other hand picked survivors towards the pool deck. Their progress was slowed by the need to make long detours to avoid large groups of dormant zombies who filled many of the ships corridors and larger spaces. However, at last the group found themselves just a short distance from the three large swimming pools and James called a halt as he surveyed the scene. A cluster of shuffling forms could be made out near the edge of one of the pools. James frowned and talked quietly into his head set. "Samuels, do you have eyes on the hostiles?"
"Sir" replied the lieutenant "On your order"
James paused for just a fraction of a second "Fire"
A series of low 'phut' sounds were heard as Samuels' marksmen set to work and within a few seconds all the zombies were on the ground, thrashing around in the throws of their transformation.
"OK let's move" ordered James into his radio then led his detail through the deck chairs and onto the poolside. Samuels emerged with his men from the opposite direction and threw the major a salute whilst Molly, Dorothy and Mansfield doubled over to help the transforming zombies.
"OK" said James to his lieutenant "we haven't got much time so let's get these chairs cleared away from the approaches to the pool and set up the karaoke machines over there. We'll have the PIC area over by the bar area I think"
"Sir" replied Samuels and walked away calling to Kinders.
James then turned to Bligh "Captain I need your people ready as soon as the EAAAR area is set up. Are your preparations complete?"
"Well we've had no auditions or rehearsals, there are no costumes or make up, the only lighting we have seems to be through illuminated underwear and the audience is hell bent on attacking us. Dont think I've had a tougher gig since I left the working men's club circuit but...yes we're ready"
"Good man. The corporal here will give you a hand" said James and beckoned Mansfield over.
"Much obliged" said Bligh and left with Mansfield to oversee matters.
Just then James' radio crackled into life "Base to zero one"
James activated his headset "James here, go ahead Brains"
"Sir, the Crawford Sisters have gone"
"What do you mean gone?" Said James
"They've just disappeared. We've looked all over the shop, sir"
"Zombies?" Asked James
"I don't think so" replied Brains "We would have heard something and there's no sign of a struggle"
James thought for a moment "Felicity was very keen to find some personal property she had lost...I fear that she and her sister have been foolhardy enough to try and retrieve it."
"But what could be so important sir?"
"Who knows what women keep in their handbags private." Replied James before shaking his head "We don't have time to worry about them now. If they get infected we can mop them up with the rest of the zombies. The main thing is that we have rendezvoused safely with Samuels at the pool"
"I know sir" said Brains "We've been tracking you via your headsets from here"
"Really?" Replied James in surprise "I didn't know you could do that"
"I couldn't until Misty showed me how" admitted Brains
"Who the hell is Misty?" Asked James
"The majorette sir...its short for Mysterious, its not her real name of course"
"Of course" agreed James evenly
"Anyway" ploughed on Brains "She's actually quite well informed on the IT side"
"Excuse me...quite well informed?" Came another, more muffled voice through the radio
"OK, very well informed..."
"Sorry?" Cut in the other voice again
"Oh, for gods sake woman...the most informed person I have ever met on the science of electronic surveillance"
"That's better" came the reply from the other end
"If I might interject?" Asked James ironically
"Sorry sir" came both, slightly chastened, voices through the radio.
"We are desperately short handed here so you both better come and join us, and Misty can possible ask her friends as well" continued James
"Oh, I can see from the monitor that they should already be with you sir" replied Brains
"I haven't seen them any...hang on a minute, I know where they are" said James looking over at a group of scattered sun loungers and deck chairs. "I'll see you both shortly. Zero one out."
James stalked over to the assorted furniture and stood legs apart and hands on hips glaring at it. "OK you lot, you think you're really clever but I can see through you" he began
Kinders doubled over to where James stood "Sir, where do you want..."
"Just one moment Sargent" interrupted James "I just need to deal with this lot"
Kinders looked at the disguarded chairs in confussion while James continued to address them "I need you majorettes to stop arseing around and lend a hand..."
"But bossman..." Interrupted the Sargent
"I said in a minute" shot back the major as he strod over to the nearest deckchair and sat down on it abruptly. "Come on, come on" shouted James at the same time bouncing up and down on the fabric seat until, with a sound of splintering wood, the thing collapsed under him. "Argh" shouted James as he slumped onto the deck in a tangle of arms legs and pieces of chair "She's got me, Kinders drag her off for heavens sake!"
Kinders helped James off the deck, untangling the mess of wood and fabric from around his body "Sir, what's going on?" He asked
"Its these bloody majorettes, they won't leave off acting the chair and help out"
"Err, these aren't majorettes sir" said Kinders awkwardly
"Of course they are man" replied James definitively "Have you ever seen a more unlikely looking set of chairs? How could you possibly think otherwise?"
"Because all the majorettes are just behind you...I came over to ask what you wanted them to do"
James looked past his Sargent to the small crowd of ladies who were following the scene with some curiosity.
"Ah, I see" said James, kicking away the last of the chair debris from around his feet "Well let's have them join Molly as part of the PIC team."
As Kinders led them away Bligh's voice suddenly came over the portable loudspeaker system.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to tonight's entertainment. Before we start the show I must tell you about a conversation I had recently. I was lying in bed the other morning playing a lament on my euphonium when the wife, who was prising her teeth out of an apple, looked back at me and said softly, 'Joey.' She calls me Joey because she always wanted a budgie. She said, 'I'm homesick.' I said, 'But precious one, this is your home.' She said, 'I know, and I'm sick of it.'
I said to her 'I wish you wouldn't smoke in bed.' She said, 'But a lot of women do.' I said, 'Not bacon they don't.'
I shouldn't complain though, my wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
No laughs hey? I know the act smells, but I'm right on top of it and you don't hear me complain."
James gave Bligh an encouraging thumbs up then strode over to the pool area where Samuels was waiting for him. "Ready lieutenant?"
"As I'll ever be sir"
James nodded and handed him the vial of concentrate. "About half in each of the two larger pools should do it Martin."
The lieutenant nodded and doubled away. James then took one final look around and stripped his top off before lowering himself into one of the two pools and assuming the familiar position. Once Samuels had finished with the concentrate he did the same in the other pool. Over by the karaoke machines Bligh had broken into the first song:
"Bring me sunshine in your smile bring me laughter all a while
In this world where we live there should be more happiness
So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow"
Then out of the night the first zombies started to arrive...
Rupert huddled in the stern of the fishing boat watching the pirates closely. He was cold and wet after being dragged through the water behind the zombie. It had seemed to take an age for the thing to get to the Demeter after Rupert had sent the signal with his torch and more than once he had had to hide as infected passengers shuffled around him in the dark. It was only when that racket from the pool area had started that they finally moved away, enabling Rupert to make his escape.
Now he sat soaked and uncomfortable as two pirates discussed matters in their incomprehensible language. Finally, the individual whom Rupert took to be the pirates' leader approached him and said "Ru-pet?"
Rupert nodded his head vigorously. The man smiled mirthlessly then said "Path-o-gen"
Again Rupert bobbed his head up and down and opened his bag, which he had been clutching desperately since taking it from Bertie. He rifled through the contents in search of the precious vials, eventually turning his torch on to aid the search. His scrabbling became more frantic as they did not immediately come to light and eventually he upended the contents of the bag onto the deck in a desperate effort to lay his hands on the precious objects.
Rupert's breath came in short, painful gasps as the realisation dawned on him that the vials were simply not there. Slowly he looked up at the frowning pirate and smiled nervously...
"I can't believe the little shit left me to die" spluttered Bertie as he crouched in the back of the speed boat.
"She was probably just scared out of her wits Joanna" said Chaplin soothingly "try not to blame her"
Bertie hurumphed but then looked across at the man squatting beside her in the dark
"Thank you. I'd be...god knows what if you hadn't saved me"
Chaplin shrugged "I'd been looking all over the ship for you. My only thought was for you..."
Bertie frowned "Thomas, Ive got to tell you some..."
"Shhh" cut in Chaplin as the shuffling of feet was heard from above. "They're very close" he whispered then quietly lifted a boathook from the deck in front of him.
The squeeking of the small gate that gave access to their hiding place prompted Chaplin to start up suddenly and wield the implement over his head. The zombies above them started back in surprise but then pressed forward again until one of them caught hold of the boathook and tried to wrench it from Chaplin's grasp.
"Quick Joanna press the green button by that seat" cried Chaplin as he desperately tried to push the attacker away. Bertie dived for the control panel and pressed the button. Immediately it activated the pulley system which lowered the boat into the water and they started to descend steadily. Chaplin gave the boathook a sudden shove with all his strength then let go of the wooden shaft. The zombie, in the act of giving the other end a mighty heave fell backwards, sending those behind sprawling. Before they could recover, the boat was on the water and being cast off. Chaplin then jumped into the front seat and powered away from the ships side.
Bertie worked his way forward and took the seat beside then reached into the pocket of his Cardigan and pulled out a handful of glass vials. He looked at them for a time than flung them over the side where they hit the water a short distance away and sank immediately.
"What was that?" Asked Chaplin curiously
"Me saying goodbye to my old life" said Bertie decisively.
Chaplin gripped the wheel of the boat and looked steadily ahead before taking a breath and saying "Joanna, will you consent to be my wife?"
"Oh no you don't Thomas, I'm going to have to tell you the truth. We can't get married"
"Why not?" asked Chaplin
"Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde." Said Bertie
"Doesn't matter" replied Chaplin
"I smoke! I smoke all the time!" Continued Bertie
" I don't care." Came the response
"Well, I have a terrible past. For the past six months, I've been in prison"
"I forgive you."
" I can never have children!" Said Bertie tragically
"We can adopt some."
"But you don't understand, Thomas Ohh..." Finally giving up Bertie pulled off his wig and in his normal voice said "I'm a man!"
Chaplin looked over and shrugged " Well, nobody's perfect!"...
The pirate captain, Abshir, looked at Rupert then turned to his first mate, Keyse. "Why is she smiling like an idiot?" He asked "Doesn't she realise she's up shit creek without a paddle?"
"I think not, sir" replied the first mate
"First she keeps us waiting for over an hour, then she turns up without the goods" continued Abshir
"Not to mention the two zombies we've lost tonight" put in Keyse
"Good point" agreed Abshir
"So what do we do now sir?" Went on the first mate
The captain stroked his beard then blew out a breath. "Let's call it a night Keyse. Can't see we can do much else"
"But what about the zombie poison Captain, we're all out of the first lot and the zombies it made can't infect others?"
"Yes, I fear the sample we were given was a little taster to whet the appetite and make sure we bought the good stuff." Mused Abshir who then paced the deck for a time before throwing up his hands "Bah, lets jack it in, I never liked this zombie lark anyway, they eat you out of house and home and take ages to train."
Keyse nodded sympathetically
"We've also got hardly any ransom for the hotages we've taken. Remember that used car salesman who got us to take that Vauxhall Zafira as part exchange?"
"Oh yes" replied Keyse
"Big end went yesterday"
"No!"
"Not a bloody spare part for it in 1000 miles."
"That's a pisser" commiserated Keyse
"Think we might try fishing again, much else dangerous." Said Abshir
"Sounds good to me boss" replied Keyse "And the bint?" He asked nodding at Rupert
The captain eyed the shivering figure in the stern of his boat "How much do you think Cali the spiv will give us for her?"
Keyse sucked his teeth and frowned pensively "Well, she's bloody ugly so not much, although she looks fairly fit and healthy so some desperate bugger might take her as a house slave with benefits"
"OK, let's see what he says" said Abshir before walking towards Rupert wearing a chilling leer...
James leaned against the railing and watched as the Demeter inched towards the dockside and the waiting crowd of officials and reporters. It was a hot dry day and the Port of Salalah basked under the unrelenting midday sun. Other passengers also stood on the deck observing the ships steady progress but kept a respectful distance from the major, aware that the last 48 hours had been extraordinarily busy for him and his troops.
This was the first time James had had an opportunity to pause and reflect on recent events and, with one exception he had just cause to be well satisfied. The transformation operation had gone relatively smoothly despite the hundreds of hostiles to be processed. The antidote concentrate had enabled large volumes of zombies to be transformed in the swimming pools and the SZS, majorettes and crew had worked well together to keep things moving.
Once a large proportion of the crew had been restored they were able to regain control of the ship and radio for help. Within a few hours, ships from the international protection force were alongside and transferring the more seriously injured passangers to their sick bays. Patrol boats and helicopters were also sent out to track down the pirate vessel but it had moved away at some point in the night and, unfortunately made good its escape, although the two pirate zombies were arrested following their transformation and taken away for questioning.
A tally of passengers and crew later the following morning had revealed that there were only three souls unaccounted for, the Crawford Sisters and Thomas Chaplin. A search of the ship had revealed nothing and it wasn't until later that afternoon that one of the naval patrols had returned with Joanna Crawford and Thomas Chaplin having found them adrift in the Demeter's motor boat.
They confirmed that they had been forced to flee the ship on the smaller craft after having been cornered by zombies and had run out of fuel before reaching shore. Joanna had also confirmed that her sister had insisted on leaving the safety of Jonathan's to search for her handbag but, having found it, they had been attacked by zombies and in the insuing chase had been separated. The fact that Felicity was no longer on board led James to suspect that she had somehow fallen overboard, a fact that had seemingly been confirmed by the discovery of the woman's handbag that evening, floating in the sea, a short distance from the ship.
A massive search had subsequently been launched but with each passing hour hope was fading. Joanna was being stoical in the face if her loss, helped by the support of friends and particularly Mr Chaplin, who had become her constant companion over the last few days. It was obvious that their shared ordeal had created a bond which promised some hope for the future in what must have been a trying time.
The parties responsible for the infection on board remained a mystery. The most likely explanation was that the pirates were somehow involved, hoping to create a diversion whilst they kidnapped the Crawford sisters. James took some solace from the fact they had at least foiled the pirates in their main aim.
James closed his eyes and rolled his shoulders to try and release the the pent up tension of the last few days. As he did so he felt a pair of arms encircle his waist and a kiss pressed on the back of his neck. "Oh dear do I feel a little paunch?" asked Molly with amusement as her hands felt his stomach "I have heard that long cruises can do that to you"
"Indeed" said James "That's one of the reasons the docks have cranes, to lift the passengers off at the end of the voyage"
"I don't think you're at that stage yet, but some tough physical exercise might be needed" suggested his wife.
"Oh yes medic, what sort of exercise would you suggest?" Asked James as he turned in Molly's arms to face her.
"You've got a one track mind" she replied with a shake of her head
"Ah now that's were your wrong, I wasn't actually thinking about track exercise" said James
"Shut up and come with me" smiled Molly taking her husband's hand
"What now?" Exclaimed James "I wasn't anticipating we would start so soon but if you insist"
"Down boy" laughed Molly "I'm taking you to the briefing you've obviously forgotten all about"
"Oh yes" said James visibly deflating
"Last one and then we're done" she reminded him.
James nodded in acknowledgement. It had been decided that the Demeter would carry on under naval escort as far as Salalah but there its voyage would end, the passengers disembarking to make their way overland to Dubai, and from there home by plane.
The debrief was to be held in the Occidental Bar since it was no longer in use and the need for secrecy was now at an end. As James and Molly walked in one and two sections came to attention.
"At ease" said James "OK Lieutenant where are we on draw down?"
Samuels ran through the preparations for disembarking and returning home. Just as he finished a notification sound came from Brains lap top which was open on one of the nearby tables. The private went over and pressed some keys. "Video call from Colonel Morley sir"
James strode over and clicked the accept call icon. "Colonel" said James
"Ah, James excellent. I hoped I'd catch you before you headed out"
"What is it sir?"
"Just got word from the Admiral commanding the IPF. Seems they've uncovered the pirate base during the ongoing search operation. Looks like its been abandoned recently and in a hurry. They've left most of their equipment behind, including their zombies and a bust up Vauxhall Zafira. Don't think we'll be having any more trouble from that quarter for the foreseeable"
"That's excellent news" said James with a smile.
"Indeed it is Major." Agreed the Colonel "I'll need a couple of your men to oversee the transformation of the zombies"
"Of course sir"
"How's it going with prep for drawdown?" Asked Morley
"Nearly done here, sir. Just the final debrief."
"OK" replied Morley "I look forward to reading your full report Major, including an explanation as to why Jonathan has presented me with an invoice for a dozen headlight bras. What the hell did ya use those for James?"
"Probably best left for the official report sir" admitted James
"OK major" said the Colonel "Morley out"
James turned back to his troops "OK, anything else?"
"Did you not keep the Colonel abreast of the bra situation Major?" Asked Mansfield Mike with a straight face which he could only maintain for a fraction of a second before dissolving into laughter, together with most of the others present.
"All right, that will do" cried Samuels with a herculean effort to maintain a straight face.
Just then there was a knock at the door and the ships head of security put his head in "Sorry to disturb you major but I have a group of ladies here who say that they have an appointment with you."
"Ah yes, please show them in" said James
The majorettes then trooped in and lined up in front of James.
"At ease ladies" said James with a smile "Thank you for coming. I just wanted to take the opportunity before you left to express our gratitude all for your help over the past few days. Your assistance has been invaluable and ensured that the mission was a success. I also understand that with your advice our surveillance capability has been improved significantly."
"Oh for goodness sake" muttered Brains who then stared at the majorettes and broke into a reluctant smile before colouring slightly.
"Are you flying home with the rest of us?" Asked one of the majorettes
"Er no" said James "We'll be catching a military flight into Brize Norton"
A series of squeals erupted from the assembled ladies
"Sorry" said the majorette "I didn't quite catch that"
"We'll be going to Brize Norton"
Again giggling spread through the majorettes ranks. James looked on in confusion before saying awkwardly "Anyway thank you again"
The majorettes started to troop out but one of them hesitated and then approached Brains who was hunched over his laptop
"Hello" she said hesitantly
"Oh hello Misty" said Brains
"Hello Misty" repeated Mansfield and Fingers in a high pitched whine
"Anyway" said the majorette studiously ignoring them "Thought you might like to look at these some time" and she handed over a slip of paper with some writing on it "We've got a pretty active Facebook and twitter group which you might be interested in err...following if you wanted to"
Brains took the paper and glanced at the details on it "OK" he mumbled
"And you could always PM me if you had any umm questions"
"Absolutely" replied Brains pocketing the slip of paper quickly.
Just then the bar piano struck up and Mansfield and Dangleberries began to sing
"Look at me
I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree
And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud
I can't understand
I get misty, just holding your hand"
"Pratts" muttered Brains then returned Misty's wave as she followed the other majorettes out the door.
"OK" cut in James "You've all got things to do, so let's get on with it. Dismissed"
After a quick discussion with Samuels about who would deal with the pirate zombies James and Molly left the bar and headed for the main companionway leading to the dockside. Passengers were already starting to disembark and fill the waiting coaches which would drive them on to Dubai.
Mr and Mrs James stood by their luggage talking quietly to each other "Ah, there you are!" Called Norman as he saw James and Molly approaching. "Been switching off that big iron again have we?" He asked pointedly
"No dad" replied James defensively "Just debriefing the men"
"Shame" put in Dorothy "Looks like you could shed a few pounds Charles"
"Funny you should say that Mrs J" said Molly
"Oh don't encourage them" huffed James then turning to his parents the said "All set?"
"Think so" replied Norman before an awkward silence fell which was only broken when he cleared his throat and continued "You know we're very proud of you son, me and your mother. You really are someone very special"
James looked taken aback before he too cleared his throat and said "Well, I really take after my parents in that regard"
James then moved forward and caught up his father and mother in a long embrace while Molly looked on with tears in her eyes. When they eventually released Norman smiled and said "This whole thing has been enormous fun. Same time, same place next year?"
"No!" Cried James in alarm, before moderating his tone somewhat and smiling "I mean, let's discuss it when we're all home again"
"Right you are son" said Norman and picked up his case "Come along Dorothy"
They then turned and joined the line of passengers on the gangway before heading down towards the dockside.
James watched them go with a smile playing on his lips
"They really are one in a million" said Molly
"Yes they are" agreed James "Thank goodness"
"