Chapter 47
Hello again! Can I first thank you all for the welcome back. After such a long break from writing I was a little worried about how my latest offering would be received but it looks as if my concerns were unfounded. Emboldened by your response I have, somewhat rashly perhaps, written the following further instalment. In it I put various minor characters from the original series to the sword; postulating some, frankly, quite ridiculous scenarios in the hope of eliciting cheap laughs. 'What's new?' I hear you cry. 'Fair comment' I reply.
Anyway, hope you enjoy the below and as always, I'd love to hear what you think.
James sat at a small table in the busy service station cafe waiting for Molly to return from the self service counter with their breakfast. They had left the base early that morning heading for London. Both were on a weekend pass and were planning to visit Molly's family as well as maybe catching a show in the West End. James was also due to see Sam his nine year old son. He tried to see Sam whenever his duties allowed, which was nowhere near often enough, and he was excited at the prospect of spending some time with him.
Molly would usually come with him on these occasion and they would go out together but this time Molly had arranged to meet up with her friend and fellow army medic Jackie who had recently returned from a tour in Africa. It was rare that their leave coincided and after some agonising Molly had decided this time to meet up with her friend rather than accompany her husband.
This visit would also be different in as much as Rebecca, James' ex wife, had suggested he stay to lunch during his visit rather than eat out with Sam. James had been surprised at the invitation since, although he and Rebecca had always remained cordial when they met, there was an underlying tension, rooted in what had been a difficult divorce for both of them. The cause of the unexpected invitation had intrigued James as it turned out that Rebecca wanted him to meet the new person in her life. James had not been aware that Rebecca had started dating again and when Molly had asked him who he thought her new man might be, he could offer few guesses.
Molly's arrival with a ladened tray dragged James away from his thoughts.
"Here you go" she said with a smile "Get your laughing gear around that"
James grabbed both bowls of cereal and placed them in front of him.
"Ah, Coco Pops, my favourite...but what are you having?" He asked
"Oi!" Cried Molly "Don't you go dipping your spoon in my Coco Pops"
"What, here in front of all these people?" Protested James " I am an officer and a gentleman lance corporal"
"You're not if you go around nicking peoples breakfast you tea leaf, now give it here" smiled Molly and reached for one of the bowls which James duly surrendered.
They both munched away companionably for a time before Molly looked at James with a frown " I've been thinking, Charles"
"O-oh" cut in James with a grin
"No, really" said Molly "About the Russian thing..."
"Oh yes?" Replied James
"Do you think they're really...you know Z.O.M.B. ?" asked Molly
James laughed "Molly, I don't think spelling the word out is likely to confuse any would be eavesdropper over 5 years old"
"Alright smart arse" grinned Molly "But seriously"
James ruminated for a time. Colonel Morley had had no more information than was already in the press when James had first made contact with him, following Brain's revelation. There had been no intelligence about the announcement beforehand and the only facts available were what had been provided by the Russian Television company responsible for selecting the Eurovision entrant.
Since then Morley's enquiries had been met with the same set of statements, that the zombies were benign, that they had been discovered on the border with Ukraine and had no memory of their previous lives, that every effort had been made to identify them but to no avail and that they were highly skilled at making music which was what they seemed happiest doing. However most media commentators were writing the whole thing off as a stunt designed to raise the profile of the band before the competition.
"Why, do you think this might all be a hoax as well?" Asked James
"Molly shrugged " Its possible, isn't it?"
James frowned then shook his head decisively "No, I'm sure they're the real thing"
"How do you know?" Asked Molly
"What do you mean how do I know, I've lived and breathed these things for nearly two years now" asserted James confidently
"Oh that's right" said Molly teasingly "Its because you're the great Major James of the SZS"
"Do you seriously think they could fool me of all people?" Asked James rising to the bait.
"Possibly" said Molly simply
"Rubbish" replied James with a dismissive wave of his hand
Molly narrowed her eyes at her husband as he returned his attention to his cereal then, with a mischievous look, reached over and took the pepper pot from the small condiment tray in the middle of the table. She quickly moved it to her lap and shook a good quantity of the brown powder into her palm before raising her hand to her nose and sniffing it hard.
The effect on her nose and eyes was immediate and following a series of sneezes she began to softly groan deep in her throat.
James looked over at her with a questioning look and , noting her streaming nose and watering eyes, he asked "Are you OK?" with some concern.
By this time Molly's soft groaning had risen in volume to a growl whilst her hands began to claw the table in an increasingly frenzied manner.
James looked on bewildered at Molly's behaviour but then realisation slowly dawned and he folded his arms and looked on with a knowing smile as his wife's performance reached a crescendo of barking howls and table slapping which rattled the crockery and drew the confused attention of a large section of the room. Catching the eye of a worried looking elderly gentleman, James simply nodded amicably and waited for Molly's lusty calls to subside into a weak whimpering before she sighed, smiled benignly at him and took up her spoon once more to munch absently on her cereal.
On a nearby table a middle aged lady turned to her female companion and said "I'm not surprised, I think my ovaries would explode if I was sitting with him"...
James drove Molly into central London and dropped her at Victoria station where she had arranged to meet Jackie. He then head out of town to Wimbledon where Rebecca had a large detached house on a broad, leafy, suburban street near to the All England Club.
As James parked the car he noticed a rather run down camper van on the carriage drive which contrasted markedly with Rebecca's Mercedes. He frowned at the vehicle as he walked past then jogged up the short flight of steps to the imposing front door and rang the bell. After a short pause Rebecca opened the door: " Charles" she said in succinct greeting
"Rebecca" responded James equally succinctly then: "How are you?"
"Well" responded his ex wife, whose shortness, James felt, was born of a certain nervousness rather than her usual formality towards him "Please come in" she continued and held the door open to let him pass.
James walked into the familiar hallway and was met immediately by a somewhat pungent smell which made him wrinkle his nose in distaste.
"Is that lunch I can smell?" He asked hoping profoundly the answer would be no.
"Yes" replied Rebecca with a tight smile "Sharon is making some onion soup for us"
"I didn't know you had a new cook" replied James "what happened to Martha?"
"Umm, nothing..." Replied his ex wife, growing even more uneasy.
"Anyway" said James looking expectantly along the hallway towards the front room "Where's this new person in your life you're so keen for me to meet?"
"In the kitchen" replied Rebecca looking intensely at James
"What with Sharon?" Asked James
"Errr, no" came the quavering response
James looked at his ex wife in confusion "What do you mean no? Does your new cook prepare meals in a room other than the..." James tailed off as a realisation suddenly dawned. "Ooooh...I see" he said
"Yes" croaked Rebecca
"Sharon isn't your new cook then..." Concluded James
"No"
"She's your..."
"Yes"
James pursed his lips and nodded rhythmically for a number of seconds in an effort to process the news.
"Well, that's a errr" he fumbled
"Surprise?" Suggested Rebecca
"Yes" intoned James then, after a further long pause during which he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead several times, "Where did you meet?"
Rebecca looked down then and played with a button on her blouse "At a woman's support group. Sharon is the group leader"
"I didn't know you went to one if those" said James in some surprise.
Rebecca continued to avoid his gaze "After the divorce I had a few issues to work through...I was angry and lost. My confidence was knocked and I felt...cast aside"
James nodded sympathetically. "I can understand that"
"Sharon has shown me that I still have potential, that I can go out and achieve whatever I want, despite all that has happened. She's been good to me, just the thing I've needed since you left."
James touched his ex wife's arm gently "That's great." He said "But...are you sure. I'd hate to think that this woman is taking advantage of you when you are vulnerable...that she is one of these people that seeks out women in your position..."
Rebecca shook her head vehemently "She's not like that. I've thought about this long and hard Charles and this is what I want. For the first time in a long while I feel...alive."
James nodded pensively then smiled "Well then I'm happy for you" he said before passing his hand through his hair and breathing out "So, what does Sam think?"
"Oh he doesn't know yet" replied Rebecca "I was wondering whether you could talk to him"
"Me!" Cried James in surprise "What's it got to do with me?"
Rebecca grimaced "You know he worships you and hangs on your every word. You've got the best chance of getting through to him and making him understand"
James looked at his wife steadily and raised his eyebrows.
Rebecca met his gaze then looked away "OK, I'm scared." She admitted, " I have no idea how to even broach the subject. I thought you might be able to think of a way...you owe me that at least."
James sucked his teeth then nodded "OK, ok, I'll talk to him. Where is he anyway?"
Rebecca smiled gratefully then said "He's upstairs on that damned computer of his"
James nodded "Right then why don't you introduce me to Sharon and then I'll go and tackle Sam"
Rebecca led James through into the large kitchen, the smell of onions becoming progressively stronger until James could feel his eyes prick with moisture. The room was filled with a miasma of foul swelling steam, issuing from a large pot which sat in the middle of the kitchens ample range. Standing over the cauldron, wielding a wooden spoon was a thin middle aged lady in a plastic apron. James was reminded fleetingly of the witches scene from Macbeth.
When the woman caught sight of Rebecca she smiled warmly but the greeting soon faded from her lips as she saw James beside her. Leaving the cooker Sharon approached them, wiping her hands on a tea towel. Rebecca made introductions and James and Sharon shook hands rather stiffly.
"That smells...interesting" said James after a short pause indicating the soup.
"I enjoy spoiling Rebecca" said Sharon
"I see" replied James
"She needs spoiling after what she's been through." Continued Sharon
"Yes, of course" responded James awkwardly
"Afghanistan." Said Sharon shaking her head "I went on a march. Not in my name. But then Rebecca had no other option"
Rebecca looked from Sharon to James and back then broke in to the silence brightly "Right then, good. James do you want to go and see Sam"
James gratefully took the opportunity "Yes. I'll see you...later." And headed for the door.
"Lunch in half an hour" called Sharon after him.
"Excellent" muttered James and bounded up the stairs to his son's bedroom.
James knocked fleetingly on the door then strode in shouting "Stand by your beds!". At this point James braced himself to catch Sam as he hurled himself at his dad in joy and excitement but the expected greeting did not happen.
Slightly surprised, James walked further into the room and looked around. He finally spotted his son hunched in front of his computer, clicking his key board busily whilst staring intently at the screen.
" Hello?" Tried James once more, approaching Sam with a frown and looking over the boy's shoulder at the computer screen. The monitor displayed a strange pixelated world of square mountains and trees under a blue sky, dotted with white cloud cubes and lit by an orange box shaped sun.
James touched his sons shoulder lightly, making the boy look around distractedly.
"Oh hi Dad" said Sam before returning his attention to the screen.
"Hi" said James uncertainly and thought to himself, "when did I turn from daddy to dad?"
"You OK?" He asked allowed
"Yer" replied Sam absently as he continued to punch a series if keys repeatedly, placing block upon block and in the process building a gravity defying structure on the screen.
"What're you up to?" Pursued James
"Building a giant cow" replied Sam
"Oh, good" said James somewhat confused "Why?"
"Saw it on You Tube" came the reply. "Nearly done, then I'll show you what it does"
"Excellent, can't wait" said James and watched absently as Sam completed the last row of cubes.
"Right" said his son "Watch this, its brilliant" Sam then expanded the view on the screen so that the shape of the giant cow became more obvious then pressed a sequence of keys. The tail of the cow rose away from its body and a large brown cube shot out from beneath it. The cube then described an arc high in the air, before landing with a shower of smaller cubes and knocking over a small octopus like figure in the middle distance.
"Got him!" Cried Sam triumphantly before dissolving into raucous laughter.
"What just happened?" Asked James in bewilderment
Sam turned to his father in excitement "I made it fire pooh out its bum and kill a creeper"
"Oh I see" replied James faining grateful enlightenment "That's wonderful"
Sam beamed then turned back to the screen "Let me show you my gigantic peeing man next" he said enthusiastically
"Maybe later" said James, then ruffling the boys hair "Get up and let me have a look at you...goodness you've grown since last time I saw you"
Sam brought his hand up to the top of his head and measured his height up against James "Yes I'm up to your third button"
"You'll be taller than me soon" confirmed James, then "And how's school going?"
"OK, I suppooose" replied Sam
"Good stuff" said James then paused before continuing carefully "Everything at home OK?"
"Yer, except mum's trying to make me eat more greens" and with that the boy clasped his neck with both hands and pretended to start to choke.
"Well if you want to get any taller that's the best way" smiled James. "And what about Sharon?" James probed tentatively.
"She's OK" said Sam simply
"So you get on?" Pressed James
"S'pose so" confirmed his son, "Its just..."
"What?"
"She makes this onion soup..."
"Oh yes"
"...and it makes you fart, like really badly"
"Really?"
Sam nodded vehemently, "Like this" and the boy sounded an enormous raspberry.
James threw his head back and laughed before adding "Oh dear, thats a bit unfortunate"
"And they pong" continued Sam, warming to his theme.
"OK, OK I get the picture" said James holding up his hands, then carefully once more "Its just that I think Mummy is very fond of her"
"Yer, she's always round here. I think they're best friends or something" mused his son
"Umm, yes...actually, Sharon is Mummy's girl friend." Said James
Sam looked at his dad with a frown "Like you and Molly were before you got married?"
"Yes" replied James "Just like that...because sometimes ladies love other ladies in that way"
Sam nodded thoughtfully "And men love other men...like Uncle Sherman and Auntie Jonathan"
"Yes, that's right" confirmed James "Are you OK with that?"
Sam pursed his lips then shrugged "You can't help who you fall in love with can you dad?"
James caught his son up in his arms and gave him a hug "No you can't son" he said
"I'll just have to get used to farting alot" concluded Sam
"I'm afraid so" smiled James "''cos I've seen what we've got for lunch..."
A short time later Rebecca called them down to the dining room. As they came down the stairs, James gave his ex wife a meaningful nod and a thumbs up and she seemed to sag with relief before smiling her thanks. The meal was duly served up and they tucked in with varying degrees of enthusiasm, the conversation dominated by Sam as he filled his dad in on the latest computer games. Once they had finished Sam asked to leave the table and went to watch television. Without the boy's lively chatter the conversation became a little stilted.
"So, how's work?" Asked Rebecca of James
"Interesting as always" he repied
"Saw those Russian zombies on the news." Continued Rebecca "Are they for real do you think?"
James shrugged "No way of telling without blood tests but my gut feeling is they are"
"Will they be allowed to compete then?" She queried
"Well, as far as I understand it, there is nothing in the rules to say they can't unless they're a danger to the other competitors"
Rebecca nodded "The Russians say they aren't but you have you're doubts?"
Again James shrugged "They would need to be properly assessed"
"Can't you just offer to cure them?" Continued his wife
"It could kill them which poses an issue if they are actually harmless" he replied
"Well I think it's wonderful" put in Sharon who had been listening to the conversation in silence up to that point. "These people have gone through a terrible ordeal and they seem to be putting their lives back together again. They should be applauded"
James frowned "I'd rather be sure they were safe first"
"Well, I for one believe them. I think your job may be affecting your outlook on this Charles" offered Sharon
"Its a view born of hard experience" countered James
"Or prejudice" accused Sharon
"That's a little unfair" said James defensively
Rebecca shifted in her seat "I think I'll start on the washing up. Charles, lend me a hand?"
James followed Rebecca into the kitchen and started to run water into the sink. "You're friend is rather straight talking" he offered
"Yes she is" replied his wife. "She holds strong beliefs and isn't frightened to voice them. Its what I like about her"
"She's very...different from the sort of people you normally associated with though" James opined
"That's sort of the point" explained his ex wife "She's like a breath of fresh air"
"With a hint of onion?" Grinned James
Rebecca returned his smile "Well nobodys perfect"
They continued the washing up in silence before Rebecca asked "How's Molly?"
James was taken by surprise at the question since Rebecca rarely asked after her. He wondered fleetingly if it was an indication of her new found confidence.
"She's fine" he replied, but then paused before going on "Well actually she's put in a transfer request"
"Really?" Said Rebecca "There isn't a problem is there?" She asked with what appeared to be genuine concern
"No, not between us, I think. She says she wants to move on in her career, do something for herself, come out from behind my shadow"
"And how do you feel about that?" Asked Rebecca
"To be honest I'm finding it hard to let her go. It just seems wrong"
"Well" said Rebecca "My advice, from bitter experience, is to listen to what she is saying and think about what's best for her. It may very well also be the best thing for your marriage"
James bit his bottom lip then nodded "Thank you" he said simply.
Just then Sam came running into the room "Dad, dad, how do you spell i-cup?"
James frowned at his son then said "Well I suppose it would be i.c.u.p"
Sam pointed at his father and laughed like a drain "You saw me pee, you saw me pee!" And ran around the kitchen like a lunatic
James shook his head at Rebecca "Are you sure he's ours?"
Sharon popped her head around the door of the kitchen at that point "Your zombies are on the telly Charles. They're performing their song for the first time. Now you come and tell me they're a danger. It sounds lovely."
James wiped his hands on a kitchen towel and walked through to the front room followed closely by the others. On the screen the zombie band were standing on a stage in a television studio grunting and growning along to a beautiful ballad like melody which issued from the various instruments they appeared to be playing live. The singing, although initially sounding strange, was precisely modulated and expertly harmonised, as well as complimenting the melodic line wonderfully. The result was a powerful and effecting performance which prompted a powerful emotional response from the listener.
James and his companions listened to the zombies as if hypnotised, rooted to the spot until the last lingering note had faded into silence. There was then a long pause before James let out a breath and wiped moisture from his eye. "Well that was..."
"Amazing" stated Rebecca, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
James was about to agree when his mobile phone started to ring in his pocket. He checked the number. It was his second in command Lieutenant Samuels"
"Martin, what's the matter" asked James into the handset
"Did you see them sir? The zombies I mean"
"Yes, why?" Replied James
"Its just that soon after it started Mansfield came dashing into the ops room with Smurf and the Doc'. They were all pretty excited about something and it took me a while to get some sense out of them" Samuels then paused
"Well what was it man?" Prompted James
"Its the lyrics of the song sir...they're about tearing people limb from limb and devouring their insides. From all accounts its pretty graphic stuff"
James stared at the television screen where the zombies were being ushered off the stage by their minders, then at is companions in the room. "I hate it when I'm right" he muttered ruefully.