(A/N: If you hadn't noticed I'm trying to upload these like you're on the same timeline as Ivy.)
Ivy and Agent Peterson were seated in the front seats of the SUV, sharing a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. They were parked outside Wilson's apartment complex, waiting for him to leave. Ivy's hair was half up and half down for the day and she was wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and a halter top.
"When did you get your belly button pierced?" Agent Peterson asked Ivy, trying to make conversation.
The copperette shrugged her shoulders, taking a sip of her cappuccino. "It was one of those blackout drunk nights when I was younger and loose Peterson."
The burly, older agent nodded, taking a bite of his donut. "Did it hurt?"
"I don't know; I was pretty fucked up." Ivy laughed, reminiscing on her pre-agent days. "I was wild. Went out every night, fucked anything with a pulse. Those were the days."
"Sounds like a riot." Agent Peterson replied and Ivy snickered.
"Oh it was. Almost died a couple times, got addicted to cocaine. Had to get my stomach pumped. S.H.I.E.L.D. saved my life, Peterson." The copperette recounted and the older agent stared at her in shock.
"You don't seem like the type-" Agent Peterson started but Ivy interrupted him.
"I know, I know." She laughed sipping on her drink. "When you have powers like mine you tend to live in excess. I could get anything I wanted with with a few words. So I did." She bit her lip and looked out the window at the apartment building. "I grew up in a farm town with a preacher father, Peterson. Moving to a city like New York was like putting a fish in water. I thrived, albeit negatively but I thrived. But anyway," She waved the negative energy away, "Wilson's coming out."
The masked mercenary was walking out the apartment building when a yellow taxi pulled up in front of him. He got in the car and the cab rolled off. Agent Peterson waited a few moments before tailing the taxi.
"Who even takes a taxi anymore?" The male agent looked at his partner, who shrugged in response.
"I don't know. I'm still stuck on the fact that he wears the suit every moment of every day." Ivy replied, putting her sunglasses over her eyes.
Agent Peterson snickered, "You think he wears it to bed?"
The copperette's eyebrow twitched and she licked her lips. "I have no idea." She fibbed expertly, using binoculars to see into the taxi. "Subject has climbed into the front seat of the cab." The taxi's right turn signal began to blink and it slowed down, taking the right turn towards the downtown district. Agent Peterson took the turn also and the taxi began to slow down. "Park over there." Ivy motioned across the street, and the agent followed her instructions. The taxi stopped in front of a club and the masked mercenary got out, high fiving the driver of cab. The taxi pulled away and Wilson entered the club.
Ivy put the binoculars down, "1232 Subject has entered a strip club, despite it being broad daylight outside." She turned to her partner with a frown. "Who goes to a titty bar in the afternoon?"
Agent Peterson leaned back in the driver's seat and yawned, closing his eyes. "Deadpool apparently."
"Terrible name." The copperette quipped, discarding the donut box in the back of the car. The two agents sat in the hot car for two hours, waiting for the masked man to leave the club. Agent Peterson had fallen asleep and Ivy was painting her toenails a pretty red color. She was bored shitless; stakeouts were always the dull part of being an agent, well that and paperwork.
After a few moments, Ivy got out of the car and fluffed her hair. She stuck a couple singles in her pocket and walked across the street. She entered the dimly lit strip club, the whole place illuminated by fluorescent pink lights, and surveyed the area. There were multiple stages with poles placed around the club and bozos who looked like they should be at work were throwing money at the girls.
"This is kind of sad…" Ivy mumbled, watching the old business men gape at the dancers. She looked around for a masked man, but she did not see her prospect. She took a seat at the bar, where a guy was mixing drinks. "Give me something fruity." She ordered, still looking around the club.
"You look too happy to be at the club at loser o'clock." The bartender commented, sliding her a pink drink. "You lookin' for a husband or somethin'?"
Ivy took a sip of her drink and slid the guy a tip. "Or something. Did a guy in a spandex suit come in here?"
"You're going to have to be more specific." The bartender replied, making Ivy pause.
"Ew." She remarked before shaking her head. "This one is very buff, six feet tall, swords on his back, guns on his hips."
"Oh you mean Wade?" The bartender asked, "He's in the can. Should be out in a minute."
"Is he a regular here?" Ivy inquired, sipping on her drink.
"Almost everyday. The cheap bastard never throws anything though."
The copperette snorted out a laugh before downing the rest of her drink. She looked at the bartender and tilted her voice, "Forget this conversation."
The guy straightened up, his eyes flashing before he asked, "What can I get ya?"
Ivy smirked and got up from the bar, going to walk out the club. "Alright girls! My bladder's empty and my soldier's at attention! Show me what ya got!" A familiar voice rang out behind her, making Ivy speed out of the club faster. She hurriedly jogged back to the SUV and locked the door behind her, stretching out in the seat.
The copperette figured that they still had a while until Wilson would leave the club, so she snuggled into the seat and closed her eyes. The copperette only got to nap for an half hour before her eyes fluttered open. She was facing the driver's seat of the car, where Agent Peterson was still sound asleep. The young woman stretched her arms in a yawn and turned to the other side of the car, screaming when she saw Deadpool peeking into the window.
"Hello?" The masked man chimed, tapping on the window. "Vee? Was that you?" Ivy sighed in relief when she realized the idiotic mercenary could not see into the SUV. She kept quiet, hoping that he would think the car was empty.
Of course, Ivy was wrong, "Vee? Are you in danger?" He yelled instead, banging on the window.
"He better not…" Ivy muttered with wide eyes, as the mercenary started to bang a gun against the window. "Peterson!" She turned to her partner, shaking him. "Peterson wake up!" The older agent looked at her groggily, before his eyes widened. "What the hell is going on?"
"I'll save you Vee!" Deadpool yelled, pointing his gun at the window and firing off three shots. The window didn't shatter and Ivy breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Get out there Black!" Agent Peterson snapped at her, "NOW."
"Okay, okay." The copperette acquiesced, unlocking the door. She stepped out of the vehicle with her hands up and a glare in her eyes, closing the door behind her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Vee! You're safe!" Deadpool exclaimed, his mask stretched over his face in a smile. His gaze went down to her legs, and his smile grew. "And in shorts."
Ivy glared harder and folded her arms over her chest, making his eyes go to her breasts. "Shooting into an unknown vehicle? Banging on car windows with a loaded gun? Are you out of your damn mind? One of the bullets could have ricocheted off the window and hit a civilian!" Deadpool said nothing in response, instead he seemed enthralled with her chest. "Wilson!" She growled, snapping her fingers in his face.
"Relax Vee…" The mercenary drawled out, placing his gloved hands on her upper arms. "Nobody got hurt! Besides, I thought you were in danger!"
"You're about to be in danger if you don't get your hands off me!" Ivy threatened, pushing the spandex-covered creep away from her. "God!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "Why do they want you?"
Deadpool shrugged, scratching his head with the barrel of his gun. "My boyish charm? My weapon expertise? My devilishly handsome good looks?" He paused, "Actually scratch that last one."
Ivy stared at the masked man in silence before a giggle built up in her throat. Her eyes started to water and her hands were clenched in fists at her sides as she began to laugh uncontrollably. Confused, the merc started to laugh along with the young agent, as if he was in on the joke. What he didn't know was that when the copperette got very angry, she would laugh before becoming incredibly violent.
The copperette chortled from her belly, even as she reached for the gun on her hip and pointed it to the mercenary, firing three shots in his chest. Deadpool looked down at himself in shock, before looking back up at Ivy. "What the fuck!" He exclaimed, as his wounds started to heal themselves. "What was that for Vee?"
The young agent looked at him unamused with crossed arms, her laughter ceasing. "You infuriate me."
"So you shoot me in the fucking chest?" The mercenary questioned, infuriated. He pointed his gun at Ivy but was thwarted, the command that she gave when they first met still controlling his system. "I thought you were supposed to be a good guy!"
"When I get angry I go to the gun range. It just so happens that you make the perfect target practice." Ivy stated, putting the gun back on her hip. She walked up to the mercenary and examined the bullet holes in his chest, the little holes closing by themselves. "Amazing." The copperette breathed out, "Even Captain Roger's body doesn't heal itself this quickly."
"Aww Vee!" Deadpool cooed, staring down at the short woman, "If you wanted to get close to me all you had to do was ask!"
Ivy set her jaw and stood straight up, glaring at the masked man with her chin up. "I'm still mad at you, Wilson."
"Deadpool." He corrected, leaning down so he was face to face with the copperette.
The agent narrowed her eyes, "Bitch."
Wilson groaned, "I love it when you talk dirty." He got even closer to the short woman, making their noses brush against each other and whispered, "You gonna spank me?"
Ivy's eyebrow twitched anxiously and she smiled prettily. "If you're a good boy for mama and say the magic words."
The mercenary hummed in thought and leaned even closer, his mask almost touching Ivy's lips. "No." He cackled and reached his arm out, grabbing onto a speeding cargo truck. As the truck sped away, the mercenary blew kisses at the agent.
Ivy let out a frustrated yell and got back in the SUV with Agent Peterson, who was looking at her with an amused expression. "Want me to call it in?" He asked her and she shook her head with a grimace.
"Shut up Peterson." She snapped, frowning deeply.