Hello all. Well here we are at the end of another SZS adventure. I hope you enjoy this final bumper, extended, feature length (in other words bloody long) chapter. I am now going to retreat into a darkened room for a while to recharge my mental faculties and try and dream up further ridiculous adventures. Thank you for your company on my continuing literary journey. Hope to see you again soon.
James reached the double doors and wrenched them open to reveal a scene of chaos beyond. Zombies seemed to be everywhere, falling on screaming victims as they tried in vain to flee. Tables and chairs were overturned while the floor was stroon with broken glass, scattered flowers and disguarded food.
As James watched, a zombie sank its teeth into the arm of the French entry, a large woman with an enormous bosom which was barely kept in check by a studded leather bodice. In the struggle that ensued, the garment's stays gave way releasing the pent up breasts in an explosion of pink flesh.
"My God" exclaimed James "This is horrible"
"Oh, I don't know sir" offered Mansfield Mike whilst grinning at the unfortunate woman "I've always appreciated a fuller figure"
James was about to answer but noticed a large group of recently transformed zombies come lurching towards them, led by the drummer of the Portuguese entry. "Follow me men" he called and, brandishing his antidote pen, waded into the advancing mob.
With studied expertise James twisted and turned, firing a dart into one zombie, before quickly reloading and plunging the tip of the pen into another. His men fanned out around James, guarding his flank and rear and promptly dealing with any undead that ventured too close. However it soon became clear that there were just too many zombies, the press of creatures causing the tight group of soldiers to slow in their advance and start to give ground.
Eventually James ordered a retreat towards the double doors and the detachment edged back to the exit. Metres from the door, however, Fingers stumbled against an overturned chair and fell backwards. The zombies crowded through the resulting gap in their ranks and a desperate struggle ensued. James dragged a snarling monster off of the prone soldier while Kinders and Mansfield Mike fought off another. Meanwhile Brains had pushed open the door and held it open while the others scrambled through one by one.
James was the last to exit, grabbing an advancing zombie and using it as a shield to fend off others before finally hurling the flailing creature into the advancing tide of undead and diving through the open door. Behind him Kinders, Mansfield and Fingers held the doors shut while Brains grabbed a fire axe from where it hung on a nearby wall and ran the shaft through both door handles, thereby barring the entrance. All the soldiers then slumped to the floor as one, breathing heavily.
Behind them the doors bulged forward but caught against the axe while a number of clawing hands emerged from the narrow gap created between them.
"It won't hold for long" observed Brains
James nodded then turned as the sound of running feet echoed down the hallway. It was Jonathan, followed by Samuels, Molly, Nude Nut, Dangleberries, Baz Vegas and Georgie.
The head of delegation took one look at the secured doors then frowned "I'm guessing not everything went exactly to plan"
"I think we can safely say that it has all gone spectacularly tits up" confirmed Mansfield Mike "Or tits out" he corrected refecting on the fate of the French entry.
"Indeed" confirmed James "We need to switch to plan b"
"We have a plan b?" Asked Jonathan
"Not yet but I'm working on it" admitted James. He frowned for a moment then turned to Samuels: "Martin, given the number of hostiles, I think we'll need to switch to a mass emersion approach"
"Agreed" nodded the Lieutenant
"Let's break out the emersion pools and solution tanks" ordered James
"Ah, yes...good" replied Samuels somewhat uncomfortably
James looked at his second in command "Is there an issue?" He asked suspiciously
"There could be" admitted Samuels with a grimace
"Don't tell me we didn't think to bring them?" groaned James
"Please sir, give me some credit" said Samuels defensively " They are very close by"
"Excellent" exclaimed James with some relief "Where?"
The Lieutenant looked passed James and towards the barred entrance to the green room.
James followed his gaze then rolled his eyes "What are they doing in there?"
"Well, I didn't think we'd need them and there wasnt a lot of space left in the dressing room, so I thought that would be the best place" explained Samuels
James bit his lip then blew out a breath and nodded reluctantly "You're right" he admitted "We couldn't have forseen this"
"Of course not" Jonathan opined somewhat unconvinced
James looked at his friend with a frown "Well we couldn't have, could we?"
"No, not at all dear" replied Jonathan with some irony "I mean it's the final chapter of this adventure, our author has promised an extended instalment, so of course everything was going to get sorted in the first few paragraphs"
James held up his hands "OK, you may have a point" he admitted "But what's done is done?. The priority now is surely to find a solution."
James then hesitated as the double doors behind them lurched forward once more under the pressure of the zombie mob. The shaft of the axe caught against the handles and held, although the wood was starting to visibly bow under the strain.
He stared at the axe and licked his lips before resuming "And find one soon"...
Anatoly stared at the retreating figures of James and his men as they sprinted down the corridor and towards the green room doors, through which the zombies had recently disappeared. The plan was clearly unravelling and the Russian was at a loss as to what to do. Glukov's minders also seemed to be frozen to the spot in an agony of indecision whilst the stage technicians and singers who had been caught up in the incident stared dumbly at each other.
Then as the noise of screaming reached them from the green room, one of the technicians threw his headset down and muttered " To hell with this!" Before sprinting to a fire exit, wrenching the door open and disappearing into the hallway beyond. The other technician hesitated for a moment then followed suit, calling behind him as he went: "Come on, this is the quickest way out of here"
The singing group and minders looked at each other then moved as one towards the exit, leaving Anatoly and Vasily alone in the back stage area. From the direction of the stage one of the presenters could he heard speaking to the audience: "And now it's time for the Russian entry; the Z Factor with their song errr...Grrrrung Nuuurg Groooon"
There then followed the sound of the crowd erupting into load applause.
Vasily looked at Anatoly "Should we go and help?" he asked, looking in the direction of the green room from where the sounds of screaming and shouting had redoubled.
The older man followed his gaze then turned and looked behind them at the empty stage. The audience had started to chant "Z Factor, Z Factor!" in excitement and anticipation of what was the most eagerly awaited performance in the competition's history.
"No" he said "Let them do what they're best at, while we do the same" Anatoly then grabbed the boys arm and marched him onto the stage.
Their emergence from the wings caused a great roar from the crowd, but as they walked to centre stage the waves of noise receded as people realised that the figures were not who they were expecting.
By the time Anatoly and Vasily had reached the cluster of microphone stands set up for the Z Factor a hushed silence reigned in the vast auditorium.
Vasily gulped and looked nervously at his companion "What are we doing here?" he murmured
Anatoly wore something of a fixed grin as he replied "I'm not entirely sure. Acted a bit on impulse there but I'm sort of regretting it now." He then picked up one of the microphones from the stand and cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen" he began in quavering tones "I'm afraid that the Z Factor will not be performing tonight"
This elicited an audable groan of disappointment from the audience, followed by a low babble which grew in volume as initial disappointment led to confusion and then annoyance.
"Instead" Announced Anatoly cutting through the rising hubbub "I am proud to present one of the most exciting young performers to come out of Russia in many years. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...Vasily!"
Anatoly then started to applaud furiously, at the same time walking backwards away from the boy who stood gaping in astonishment at the retreating figure. When Vasily continued to stare after him with an expression of utter bewilderment, Anatoly started to wave frantically at one of the microphone stands at the same time mouthing "Pick it up, pick it up".
The boy turned uncertainly to look at the sound equipment then slowly reached up and grasped the microphone. The touch of the cool metal seemed to steady him as he swallowed and took a deep breath before closing his eyes and beginning to sing.
The pure, clean tones of an exceptional singing voice sailed above the noise of the disgruntled audience and filled the vast space. It was a sound which demanded attention and almost immediately the ugly clamour of dissent dissipated as people paused to listen. Time seemed to stand still as Vasily sang words which were drawn from his very soul, imbuing them with a power which transcended their literal meaning and gave a glimpse of the eternal truths beyond.
So focussed was Vasily on the essence of the performance that he felt himself transported out of his body and into the ether. He was among the sound waves which traversed the air in the upper reaches of the hall, looking down at himself as he stood motionless on the stage. The audience sat transfixed listening to the performance with the exception of one figure who slowly stood and released an object into the air. The item cartwheeled heavenwards before reaching the limit of its assent and starting to descend, slowly at first but then with gathering impetus.
Vasily from his high vantage made out a small furry body with protruding arms and legs, an embroidered nose, button eyes and a pair of rounded ears. He smiled to himself as the teddy bear sailed through the air towards the Vasily on stage, watched as the soft toy hit him full in the face and he crumpled to the ground, knocked unconscious by the half brick hidden inside the bears belly...
"I bloody told you teddy bears could be dangerous" said Mansfield Mike as he watched Vasily lying on the stage floor from the wings.
Mansfield, James and the others were gathered in the back stage area. They had been drawn there by the earlier noise of discontent from the audience, fearing that zombies had some how found their way into the main auditorium. When they had arrived and seen the cause of the audience reaction they had been surprised but reassured and had resumed their urgent discussion of how to deal with the zombie threat while Vasily had performed.
"We need antidote and we need a large container" James had said pensively "Where the hell are we going to find those things around here?"
He had rubbed his hand across his forehead in an effort to focus his thoughts. As he did so he felt the metal of Doctor Kyung-Sook's ring against his skin. James had suddenly looked at his hand and activated the catch on the side of the ring which revealed the hidden compartment with the two soluble tablets of solution nestling inside.
The Major had smiled to himself "Thank you Doctor" he said to himself then turned to the others. "Actually, we just need a container full of water" he confirmed "Any ideas?"
They had all frowned in thought. After a few moments Mansfield looked at Brains and said "Come on private, you can always come up with something"
Brains shook his head "Sorry Corporal, I can't always be the fountain of all knowledge"
James had suddenly started and clicked his fingers "Oh you genius Brains. The fountain of course!" he exclaimed and nodded towards the large water feature a small distance beyond the edge of the stage which had cascaded to the sound of the music all evening.
"But I didn't..." Began Brains before having the breath knocked out of him by a huge slap on the back from Kinders.
"Ok" said James "We'll need to clear a path to the fountain through the crowd"
"Looks like we might have some help at hand to do that" Molly had commented and gestured to the large contingent of majorettes who were standing near the front row of the audience draped in Union flags.
"Brains..."
"I know sir, I'll talk to them" replied the private.
James smiled "Good man. We"ll signal by radio when we need them"
Brains had then doubled away.
It was shortly after this exchange that the soft toy had laid Vasily out on the stage, prompting Mansfield's Mike's timely reminder of the perils of teddy bears.
James looked at the prostrated boy with concern then at the distant doors to the green room which at that moment slammed forward once more. However on this occassion the axe handle gave way with a splintering crash and a tide of zombies came spilling out into the corridor beyond.
James acted immediately "Right, Nude Nut, tell Brains we need the audience cleared away now. Molly, I want post immersion care set up. Kinders and Dangleberries grab those microphones and get them rigged up near the fountain together with our instruments. Martin, take the tablets and the rest of the men and organise the emersion area. Georgie, can you see to the boy."
Jonathan then added: " And I better go and make contact with the organisers to let them know what's going on."
Everyone dispersed to undertake their various tasks while James grabbed an abandoned microphone and strode onto the stage...
Brains accessed the main auditorium via a service corridor which brought him out near the front of the stage. He then edged along the side of the crowd until he was opposite the majorettes and squeezed his way through the intervening revellers until he reached the group of women.
He was greeted by a small woman with thick glasses, wearing a military bergen stuffed full of what appeared to be coffee pods. "You're Brains" she said in a matter of fact tone.
"Yes I am" confirmed Brains
"I'm Rosabaya" confirmed the lady "Head of hot beverages"
"Errr, pleased to meet you" replied Brains
"Likewise" said Rosabaya "You after Misty?"
"Yes, is she about?" Asked Brains
Rosabaya nodded and unclipped a radio receiver from her belt "This is Rosa. Can someone tell Misty her fella's here"
"Roger that" came the response and the majorette returned the radio to her belt.
"Thanks" said Brains then added: "And by the way, I'm not her fella"
Rosabaya let out a small barking laugh "'Course not" she muttered before asking "You thirsty?"
"Not really" replied Brains
"You sure?" Pressed Rosabaya "I've got a proper battery operated Nespresso machine in here you know. Could whip you up an Iced, Half Caff, Ristretto, Venti, 4-Pump, Sugar Free, Cinnamon, Dolce Soy Skinny Latte in no time"
"Errr, no thanks" confirmed Brains growing a little nervous
Just then Misty emerged from the crowd and smiled at Brains "Hello" she said "Fancy meeting you here"
Brains nodded formally, trying to ignore the shiver of excitement that passed through his body.
"Rosa offered you a drink?" Asked Misty
"I'm not entirely sure" Brains confessed
The majorette laughed, sending another series of tingling sensations down Brains' spine. "I know what you mean. He's good isn't he" she went on nodding at Vasily on the stage above them.
"What? Yes...I suppose" replied the private
"Is he why you're here?" Went on Misty
"Oh, yes" said Brains suddenly remembering his mission "We're going to need your help"
Suddenly from the stage came a soft thud as the teddy beat hit Vasily on the head and sent him sprawling.
"You're not the only one" replied Misty "What do you need us to do?"
Before Brains could answer his radio crackled into life...
James surveyed the crowd from the stage while Georgie tended to Vasily a little distance away, watched by a concerned Anatoly. A growing sense of unease was filling the auditorium as people realised that something was wrong. James quickly concluded that there was no time to evacuate the venue before the zombies would be among them. However, he would have to do something to avoid widespread panic and serous injury. There was only one course open to him in these situations, he would have to lie - and it was going to have to be a whopper.
He covered the mic with his hand "How's he doing?" He asked the medic
"He'll be fine sir, just a nasty bump on the head" replied Georgie who was now helping a groggy Vasily to his feet.
"OK, let's get him off the stage" ordered James
The Major then turned back to the audience and noted with satisfaction that Brains and the majorettes were busy clearing a path to the fountain while Samuels was almost ready with the emersion pool. He lifted the microphone to his mouth and addressed the audience: "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the interval act this year, we have decided to try something a little different. Its a errr... performance art piece, involving all of the acts you have seen tonight, which encompasses music, dance, acting and ummm zombies"
The audience clapped uncertainly while James strode off the stage, stripped his top off and waded into the fountain. Moments later the first zombies appeared on the stage, led by the Polish entry, still dressed in their traditional costumes.
James made sure everything was set then nodded to Dangleberries who launched into the first number. The major listened to the intro then started to sing:
"Although it hurts to go away it's impossible to stay
But there's one thing I must say before I go
I love you (i love you) you know
I'll be thinking of you in most everything I do"
The effect on the zombies was almost immediate and they started to lurch from the stage towards the fountain, along the cleared corridor formed by the majorettes. As the first of them reached the water Samuels and his men got to work grappling with the creatures and pushing them into the solution. In the meantime James stood in the centre of the pool and launched into the chorus:
"Your kisses for me save all your kisses for me
Bye bye baby bye bye don't cry honey don't cry
Going to walk out this door but I'll soon be back for more"
The audience, initially non plussed by the unexpected turn of events started to clap along to the music and cheer as each of the transformed contestants was thrust under the water in a tangle of thrashing limbs which sprayed liquid in all directions.
When James had finished the first song he threw the the microphone to Jonathan who had rejoined them after hurriedly explaining the situation to the somewhat confused event organisers. The major then joined the hard pressed emersion teams while the head of delegation swung the mic and started to sing:
"You're my love, you're my sweetest thing
Don't shy away, don't shy away
Every night makes me hate the days
Can't get enough of your love"
James held the Lithuanian entry, a bald middle aged man with magnificent handlebar moustache, under the water until he stopped thrashing then heaved him out of the pool and passed him to a waiting Molly. He then turned to be confronted by the snarling figure of the French entry, pendulous breasts swinging from side to side as she waded towards him. In the background Jonathan sang on:
"Ooh ah, just a little bit
Ooh ah, a little bit more
Ooh ah, just a little bit
You know what I'm looking for"
James raised his hands to grapple with the woman but hesitated unsure as to where best to seek a handhold
"Do you want me to deal with her sir?" Called over Mansfield Mike hopefully
James shook his head "Stand down soldier. I think it's best I tackle this one"
Just then the woman seemed to stumble over an unseen obstacle under the water and toppled forward onto James. The major grabbed the zombies arms in a desperate effort to stave off her snapping teeth but she was just too heavy. As his legs buckled under him, James did the only thing left open to him to avoid being bitten and ducked into the woman's ample cleavage, burrying his head safely between the voluminous bussoms. He took a deep breath as they both collapsed into the water, then held the struggling zombie under the solution as she bucked and thrashed in the throws of her transformation.
When James eventually surfaced he was met by a number of grinning troops and a frowning Medic.
"Enjoying yourself?" Asked Molly pointedly
James shrugged innocently "It was the only way I could think of avoiding serous injury" he protested
Molly shook her head, clearly unconvinced while Mansfield Mike chuckled "Good one sir. I'll use that excuse next time I fancy doing some motor boating"
James was about to answer when a shot rang out above the noise of the music and the crowd...
Glukov looked on in horror from the wings as the zombies crowded onto the stage, realising that all his careful planning and preparations lay trampled in the wake of the undead mob. He knew he had been running a risk reducing the Z Factor's tranquilliser dosage. However he had been counting on the minders keeping them in check during the short walk from the dressing room to the stage while a prompt feed after their performance would have had them back to their dozy selves in no time. How was he to know that one of the performers would be dressed almost entirely in a processed meat product? It just wasn't fair.
He had tried to gain control of the situation again, initialy by stopping that annoying boy from singing by way of the booby trapped toy stolen from one of the idiotic audience members but things were just too far advanced. The imperative now was to deal with the Z Factor. He needed to stop them being transformed. If they stayed as zombies he could blame this whole fiasco on an unfortunate and unforeseeable series of events. However, if they were brought back and were able to tell their story the whole truth would come out.
Glukov had hoped that he could extract the Russian zombies from the horde, spirit them away somehow so they did not enter the emersion pool, but he soon saw that that would prove impossible, the pull of the music and that confounded Major James was just too great. He therefore resolved to prevent them from ever reaching the antidote. The means of doing so was a heavy weight in his pocket; a revolver smuggled into the venue just in case of trouble.
He ran the scenario through in his head quickly. In a desperate effort to stop further bloodshed, he would explain, he had tried to get his zombies back under control only for them to turn on him in their blood lust. Fearing for his life and in blind panic he turned the gun on them. Nobody would question his motives in the heat of the moment.
Repeating that conclusion to himself, he scanned the zombies for the Z Factor and soon spotted then towards the rear of the shuffling pack, blood dripping from their grinning mouths. Taking a deep breath Glukov stepped out onto the stage and descended quickly into the stalls were he mingled with the crowd who were singing and dancing along to the mindless music.
The Russian worked his way to the edge of the cordon, formed by a group of strangely dressed women who he soon recognised as the deranged superfans of the British soldiers. Once there, he pretended he had dropped something on the floor and sank to his knees to retrieve it before crawling slowly forward and through the legs of a particularly large lady wearing combat trousers and what appeared to be a set of stag horns. Glukov then crouched in wait as the Russian zombies lurched nearer.
When they were within a few metres the Russian crept forward through the shuffling crowd of undead before suddenly springing up in front of the Z Factor. Glukov flung his hands up in mock terror shouting ,"No, no please don't hurt me!" before reaching inside his jacket pocket and pulling out the revolver.
The big majorette, spotting the danger, moved like lightening despite her size. She waded into the melee, flinging zombies out of the way and calling "Hang on love, I'll have you out of there in a jiffy!"
Glukov ignored her and levelled his gun at the head of the nearest zombie. At the instant that he pulled the trigger the majorette cannoned into him, jolting his arm round and sending the bullet wide of its mark. The gun shot rang out above the sound of the music and the crowd but Glukov heard no more as he hit his head on the ground and was knocked out cold...
"Did you hear that?" Said James to Samuels
"Yes sir" replied the Lieutenant as he dunked the Romanian entry into the fountain "Sounded like small arms fire"
James nodded and scanned the remaining zombies and crowd searching for the source of the noise. If the audience had noticed the sound they were showing no obvious signs of concern, possibly assuming that it originated from something harmless such as a fire cracker.
The major beckoned Brains over. "Can you take a scout around"
"Yes boss" replied the private and turned to leave. In doing so he nearly bumped into a small woman carrying a large army style rucksack.
"Rosa?" Said Brains
The woman lifted her hands up. They were covered in blood.
Brains started towards her "Are you hit?" He said concerned
Rosa shook her head "Its not me, it's Misty. Please come quickly"
Brains looked at the woman in disbelief then turned his head and shouted "Medic. Medic. Man down. Man down!"...
The plastic hospital seat grew increasingly harder and more uncomfortable the longer Brains sat in it. He tried shifting position but it was just no good, the thing fundamentally failed to give in any direction and his buttocks felt battered and bruised. Eventually he could take it no longer and stood up to pace the waiting room, stopping every now and again to stare uncomprehendingly at the various posters and notices on the walls.
He had rushed to the hospital as soon as he could get away from the clean up operation, Georgie texting him the location once she was able to leave Misty. The medic said that the bullet had hit her in the shoulder, serious but not life threatening. However, if two qualified combat medics had not been close at hand it may have been a very different story.
Brains had been so releaved that he almost cried. All he wanted to do now was see Misty, to confirm for himself that she was OK, to tell her...to tell her what? He wasn't sure. He hoped that the words would come to him when he eventually saw her, otherwise it would be a decidedly one sided conversation.
He took another turn around the room, before pausing at the door to listen for anyone approaching. As he did so it flew open, hitting him squarly in the forehead and sending him staggering backwards before coming to rest on his rear end
Georgie bustled into the waiting room and looked down at the private.
"What are you doing sitting on the floor?" She asked
"Chairs are too uncomfortable" he explained, then quickly scrambled to his feet. "Can I see her?"
The Medic smiled "In a bit. She's just got a few friends with her at the moment. Why don't you wait outside her room. Its number 7, third on the left down the hallway"
"Thanks corp...for everything" said Brains and walked out into the corridor.
He quickly found the room and loitered outside impatiently until the door was opened and three majorettes walked out.
"Hello Brains" said Rosabaya with a smile
"Hello" replied Brains
"This is Stagsy and Girly" said the small lady indicating her two companions "Our Head of Direct Action and our Head of QS"
Brains nodded "Yes, I remember you from the cruise" he said to Girly "And I saw you beating the crap out of a protester last week" , this to Stagsy
The two women nodded.
"Come to see Misty?" Asked Girly
"Well, I thought I might just check on her" replied Brains awkwardly "Major James was keen to know...that she was alright"
"I'm sure your Medic could've filled him in" grinned Girly
Brains frowned "She's errr new...he wanted an experienced...you know, eye"
"Of course" said Girly then continued "You understand, Brains, we're all very fond of our Head of IT. We wouldn't want anyone to muck her about, if you know what I mean"
Brains nodded "Don't worry" he said with feeling "I wont"
"Glad to here it" said Girly
"Is that what you do as Head of QS?" Went on Brains "Make sure I meet the quality standard"
"Something like that" confirmed Girly
Brains then turned to Stagsy "And you're here to..."
"Hammer you if you don't make the grade" said the large majorette flexing her arms ominously
"Ah, I see" said Brains. He then looked at Rosabaya.
"I just make the coffee" she explained "Would you like a Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar-Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice with No Whip?"
"Ummm, no thanks" replied the private "I'm just going to errr.." He gestured towards the room
"OK" said Girly "But not too long mind. She needs her rest"
Brains nodded and hurried into the room.
Misty lay proper up on the bed, her left shoulder swathed in bandages. Her hair was spread over the pillow in what Brains thought was a very becoming manner and her eyes were closed. As the private approached he heard her breathing lightly and regularly and paused, keen not to wake her now that she had succumbed to sleep. He considered leaving but decided instead to tip toe to the seat beside her and carefully sit down. As he did so Misty stirred and mumbled something in her sleep. At the same time her hand slipped from her lap and came to rest on the edge of the bed just where Brains sat.
He looked at it for a time then carefully cupped it in his own, the touch of her soft skin sending his pulse racing. "I thought I lost you" he whispered softly "I...I think I love you" he confessed.
Misty shifted again and mumbled something. Brains leant closer trying to catch the meaning, to get a sense of what she was dreaming of.
"Mannn, Mannd" she whispered
"Shhhh, it's alright I'm here" soothed Brains
"Mansfield, oh Mansfield" Misty replied distantly
Brains stared in confusion.
"Oh Mansfield take me" mumbled Misty in the depth of her slumber and slowly arched her back
Brains abruptly let go of Misty's hand and stood up
"Oh, oh, oh, oooooh" went on Misty
The private then turned and headed for the door, a distraught look on his face
"Oh, oh oh come back you plonker, I'm just winding you up" laughed Misty from the bed
Brains turned to find the majorette wide awake, eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Why you..." Spluttered Brains "I'm going to bloody throttle you!"
'Steady soldier" cautioned Misty "I just need to call out and Stagsy will be in here like a shot"
Brains frowned and folded his arms in a huff "See you're alright then" he commented sourly
"Right as rain. It'll take more than a bullet to stop me" confirmed the patient
Brains nodded "Good, well I can be off then"
"Oh come and sit down" said Misty gesturing at the chair
"Don't want to" said Brains petulantly
"Yes you do"
"Know I don't"
"Yes you do" insisted Misty "And you know how I know?"
"How?" Asked Brains
"Because you said you loooove me" she chanted "You loooove me"
"You heard that?" Said Brains aghast
"Oh yes" confirmed Misty "And you know what?"
"What?" Shot back the private defensively
"I think I love you too" said Misty staring intensely at Brains
The soldier went to answer then paused, clearly taken aback at the admission "" Really?" He eventually said
"Of course I do you great lummox" replied the majorette "Now come and kiss me" she ordered
Brains moved quickly to the side of the bed and bent over the reclining figure. He hesitated momentarily to drink in her intense eyes and expectant lips then closed the remaining distance between them. The kiss was tender at first but became more passionate as time went on until eventually Misty pulled away slightly
"Ouch" she hissed
"Sorry" said Brains suddenly looking at her wounded shoulder
"No it's not that" smiled Misty "It's the thought of you suspecting for one minute l could fancy Mansfield"
They both laughed then Brains sat in the chair and took the majorettes hand.
"Brains?" said Misty
"Yes?" asked the private looking up
"Can you stop smiling like an idiot, you're freaking me out?"
"Sorry"
"And stop saying sorry"
"Sorry"
They both laughed again
"So, what's happening back at the final?" Went on Misty changing the subject
"I think they've started the voting" replied Brains
"What?" Exclaimed Misty in surprise "After all that's happened?"
Brains shrugged "I know it's mad isn't it?" He said "But the audience thought the whole zombie thing was part of the show and no one watching on telly caught on, so the organisers have decided to carry on regardless"
"How could anyone think that was planned?" wondered Misty in disbelief
Brains shrugged "I suppose the Eurovision is usually so loopy, no one thought what happened tonight was particularly strange"
"That makes sense" agreed Misty then grabbed Brains hand and pulled him towards her once more...
"Nil points!" Moaned Dangleberries "Nil bloody points"
"Well, what did you expect?" Asked Fingers
"How about a bit of gratitude for saving all their lives?" Put in Nude Nut
"They didn't know we were saving their lives at the time, did they?" Countered Fingers
"Suppose" conceded Nude Nut "But they do now"
"Yer, but it's too late now" concluded Fingers
The soldiers were siting, with the rest of the contingent, in the hotel meeting room the morning after the final. Major James had called a final briefing before they were due to fly out and they were waiting for the officers to arrive to issue final instructions.
"They might give us one of them Nobel prizes" opined Mansfield Mike
"They only give those for peaceful stuff don't they?" Asked Georgie
"And other things like science and writing" put in Kinders
"Well maybe Brains can write it all up into a story and put it on the internet" ventured Bas Vegas "What do ya think Brains?...Brains?"
"What?" Said the private looking up from his note book distractedly
"Think the only things he'll be writing from now on are love letters" Joked Dangleberries
"Oh leave the poor boy alone" said Molly "He had a bit of a day yesterday"
"But a much better night" smiled Brains, an admission which triggered a hail of whoops and wolf whistles from the rest of the room which were only cut short by the entrance of James, Samuels and Jonathan.
"Detachment shun!" Called Kinders
"At ease" said James striding to the front of the room and opening a folder.
"OK, the morning after the night before" began James "I understand that the authorities are to go public on the incident at 09:30 so we will need to be available for media comment. Jonathan and I will front up but we'll need updates on your various areas. Martin, can you lead off?"
The Lieutenant quickly updated on the status of the mission. The venue had been thoroughly swept and no hostiles remained. Authorities were on the look out for any further zombie like activity and would contact them immediately if any were reported but it looked as if the outbreak had been effectively contained.
James then turned to Georgie for an update on casualities. Other than a few minor bites and scrapes all the infected were OK and recovering in local hospitals. The most serous injuries were to two non infected individuals: Misty who was recovering nicely from her bullet wound if Brains' mood was anything to go by (this elicited a number of grins around the room) and Glukov who was suffering from concussion.
"Ah yes, Mr Glukov" said James "I understand he will have a lot of explaining to do once he is well enough"
"Indeed" replied Jonathan "Sherman tells me that the Russian Zombies have been busy filling the authorities in on the real story behind their transformation. They have confirmed everything Anatoly and Vasily told us. Looks like Mr Glukov was heading up a zombie conversation programme which was aiming to use transformed individuals in all sorts of competitive scenarios in order to further Russian preeminence, all under cover of the the civil war in the Ukraine"
"And what's the Russian government saying?" asked Molly
"They're denying they knew anything about it" went on Jonathan "...that Glukov was acting on his own without authorisation. They assured Sherman that they have shut down the operation and are making arrests, including their culture minister"
Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Come" Called James and the door opened to reveal Anatoly
"I hope I am not disturbing?" Asked the Russian
"Of course not Mr Alexandrov" replied James "Please join us. We were just reviewing last nights events"
"I won't detain you long. I just wanted to thank you all for your help" said Anatoly
"It was our very great pleasure" grinned James "I understand your young protégé has caused quite a stir with his performance"
The Russian smiled "Yes. Despite being disqualified from the competition, we have had a number of approaches from record producers. Its all very exciting particularly since the boy has other skills. Do you know he is good at turning tricks and is quite skilled at the five finger shuffle"
The room fell quiet at Anatoly's intelligence, the silence eventually broken by Jonathan clearing his throat "Goodness that is errr...interesting"
"Anyway" continued Anatoly happily "I must be off. Busy day ahead"
The Russian then left them with a cheery wave.
"Always good to have a range of skills I find" commented Mansfield Mike to the room in general then turning to Jonathan continued "Talking of disqualifications sir, how is your Austrian friend this morning?"
"Who Conchita?" Said Jonathan brightening visibly "Oh she's furious" he chuckled
"I suppose the organisers had no choice, given she didn't perform" commented Kinders
"Absolutely" replied Jonathan "But I'm sure she'll be back next year... Oh which reminds Charles, we really need to start planning for next year's competition. I already have a few ideas...Charles... Charles were are you going dear?"
James was striding from the room a look of mild panic on his face "I've just remembered I really need to be somewhere...anywhere...dismissed, dismissed!"...