Jonathan
I miss myself. I miss the old me who would fantasise about marrying Nickel. I miss the guy who would look in the mirror and be proud of myself. I miss loving myself.
I hear a knock on the door and Nickel walks in, and her cheeks are damp and her eyes are red. She's been crying. Her hair is messed up and her shirt wrinkled. She's a hot mess. I extend my arms for her and she crawls into them, and we embrace for a good two minutes, as she continues to cry, silently. She pulls away and my shirt is tear-soaked.
"You always call me when I need it most," She says between gasps for air. "I need to be understood. So why'd you call me?" She asks.
"I need to confess or admit something to you. Something I'm not proud of." I say to her, as I grab her arms..
"What is it, you can tell me anything, and I mean anything. You could, like, tell me if you killed someone or if like, your crap was green. You're my best friend." She says calmly.
"I… I tried to kill myself."
The universe slows down. I wait for her facial expression to change from horror back to her normal face. It doesn't, not for a while atleast. She just stares at me.
"Why, why would you do that?" She finally says after a while of silence.
I am relieved to talk again. "I didn't mean to. I was drunk and I took some sleep aid, and accidentally OD'd." She sighs, with a hint of relief.
"Ok, ok, ok." She says. She hugs me one last time, and picks up her stuff and heads for the door.
"May I ask why? Was there a reason?" I close the door behind us and sigh deeply ,"I miss myself. I miss you. I want things to go back to the way they were, when everyone was with everyone."
I could feel myself tear up. I'd just had the same thoughts. "You do. Things are just… Complicated."
"I know that. I'm upset that i didn't handle this well."
"Okay! I understand…" She took hold of my arm and smiled, "Let's hang."