I don't own TMI

I need to clear up a couple things. In this story Magnus never went to Idris and therefore was never taken prisoner by that loser Sebastian. Magnus never got to see how much pain Alec was in. He never to to learn that Alec would fight his way through a demon realm to save him and he never gave Alec his handwritten notes about his life. Everything else is the same, unless I make a note otherwise.

I woke up on Sunday morning feeling completely unrested, clammy, and irritable. My head and body were both aching. It was barely morning anymore- 11:52AM- and I was going to be late getting to lunch with my brother and sister. My mind kept wanting to go over the previous night as I hurried around, but I didn't want to let it. That would mean thinking about Magnus and I simply did not want to take up any more brain space on him.

I took the subway to over to Manhattan since it would be faster and cheaper than taking a taxi. When I finally got to Taki's I found Izzy and Jace already seated and eating lunch. I went up to the counter to order my own.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up." Jace drawled as I sat in the booth next to Izzy. He did a double take at me. "Dude, is that a hickey?"

"Where?" I asked, feeling over the skin on my neck as if I could detect a hickey by touching it.

Jace smiled wickedly. "Its plain as day right there above your collar bone."

Izzy was manhandling me, roughly trying to shift the top half of me so that she could check out what Jace was ogling.

I truly didn't remember getting a hickey so I didn't believe them until Izzy shoved a mirror at me and I could see the red monster for myself.

"Well, now we know why you were so ready to be done with hunting last night," Izzy said. "Did you have fun?" She smiled at me.

"I um… I don't know…"

Izzy turned immediately suspicious. "What did you do last night, Alec?"

"I had a date." I said as my meal came and I started to dig in. I resisted the urge to add a 'duh' to the end of my sentence. 'Duhs' are not really my style, but they already knew yesterday that I was planning on going out with someone.

"Wait. You still went out to your date? You couldn't have shown up any earlier than 2AM. And later still unless you didn't mind dripping demon guts all over." Jace said.

"You can actually blame Clary for that." I told Jace pointedly. I could swear that girl was trying to slice me up, too. She had a tendency to always fight towards me, blades coming worryingly close to my person, and her efforts always left demon innards all over me. Never on Jace or Simon or even herself.

"What can I say? I taught her well." Came Jace's cheeky response.

What the hell? "You probably did teach her to do that." I grumbled at him.

"Okay, we're getting off topic, here." Izzy reminded us. "Alec, where did you go with your date at 2 in the morning?"

I sighed, my eyes focused on the table, thinking about what a failure last night turn out to be. "I met him at Luigi's. That club." They both looked stunned. "What? He waited all that time and I didn't want to stand him up."

"But you never go to clubs. Especially not a hot new club that Jace and I couldn't drag you to last weekend." Izzy complained.

Jace had been looking at me funny. "Who'd you go out with? That Joseph guy?"

"His name is James, and no I didn't go out with him."

"Whoever it was must of been special. I mean, you're a prude, and yet you gave this guy the green light to go all vampire on your neck. The last person you let do that was…" Jace trailed off, probably wanting to avoid what was sure to be a sore subject. He must have noticed the guilty look I was trying (and failing) to remove from my features. He asked quietly, "Did you see Magnus last night?"

"I um… Well…" I wetted my lips. "It wasn't planned…"

Izzy gasped. "Alec! I thought you were finally done with him. You were moving on. What the fuck, Alec!"

"Keep your voice down, Isabelle. Damn. I didn't go out with him. He just happened to be at Luigi's. We talked for a few minutes and he left. I stayed there with David." I said, diffusing the situation.

Jace had been staring at me silently for a while. "How do you feel, then."

"Fine." I told him. "What kind of question is that? What do you want from me?"

Jace answered. "Well, do you still have feelings for him?"

I sighed. "You're two for two on dumb questions today. Is that a record?" Jace narrowed his eyes sharply at me. I continued. "If something happened where you and Clary had to break up, like, I don't know, say you two suddenly were made to believe you were brother and sister? Would you still have feelings for her?"

Jace went back to silence. Izzy inhaled sharply. They were, of course, both thinking of how torturous it had been for Jace back when he had believed that Valentine was his father. Of course his feelings for Clary did not and would not just go away.

"How I feel about him doesn't matter anymore. All you guys need to know is that I have moved on and I'm not willing to look back." I said. And it was the truth. It had to be since that was what I had been clinging to and that was what got me through the last several weeks relatively sane. I had been spiraling pretty badly for almost two months after Magnus refused to come back to me, refused to even hear my side of the story.

I had to find a way to get over him, though, I couldn't just wallow. That fact had become perfectly clear to me when I had dragged myself on a demon hunting trip once the guilt of not backing up my siblings and friends on such trips got too overwhelming to bear. I was only going through the motions and Jace had almost gotten killed. I hadn't been paying proper attention and he'd had to work doubly hard to take up for my slack. At the last moment Simon (of all people, the newbie shadowhunter) had noticed the demon creeping up behind Jace, moments away from delivering a deathblow. I was just kind of standing there with my head up my ass, thinking about all the things I wanted to say to Magnus. Once I had fully realized what had happened my mind cleared. I knew that I had to find a way forward, a way past Magnus. I also realized that I was fighting a loosing battle and started to question if it was even a battle that was worth the effort.

I looked at my siblings. I could see that they still had some worry in their faces, but I knew that I wasn't going to convince them of anything just by saying a couple sentences. They would have to see with their own eyes that I was okay and, truthfully speaking, I wasn't quite there yet. I really could only just move in that direction.

I checked my phone and saw I had missed a bunch of messages and calls from David. "Hey guys, lunch was great but I'm late for something."

Izzy lifted her sharply arched eyebrows. "Another date?"

Jace wolf-whistled as I offered them a half-smile. "Maybe."

"Be careful, brother." Izzy said, but she smiled.

"Yeah playboy." Jace grinned.

I shook my head and dropped some bills on the table to cover lunch. I said goodbye to them and headed out.

An hour later I was back in Queens waiting for David to show up at a small, nearly empty, coffee shop. His text messages had been a little more than concerning so I asked him to meet me. I really wanted for things to well between us. I'd only known David for a couple weeks and I had been dating casually with other guys, but I had felt some actually chemistry with him. He seemed to be a nice guy. Someone who was very easy to be around. In the short time that I'd known him I had spent more of my free time with him than with any other guy. Plus, I had other reasons for wanting to spend time with him.

When David got there, he looked embarrassed for some reason and his gray eyes never quite reached my blue ones. I eyed him closely. His carrot-colored hair was swept up and over the left side of his head. His skin was pale, like mine, and he had a crop of freckles across his nose and cheekbones. He was cute, for sure, but he looked very nervous.

"Alec." David started. "I'm surprised you agreed to see me. I'm so sorry. I wont be surprised if you never want to talk to me again."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to recall last night. The last thing I recalled after Magnus left was going back to the bar with David and ordering shots.

"Oh God. You can't even remember last night can you? You got pretty fucked up. Well, I guess we both did, but you drank sooo much in such a short amount of time. Oh God, I'm rambling." David clamped his mouth shut and looked at me with fear in his eyes.

For some reason I couldn't help but feel annoyed at him. Fucking drama queen. Just spit it out already. "Are you going to tell me what actually happened or do I have to guess?" That made David look even more apprehensive so I dialed it back a bit and reached for his hand. "Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Just tell me what happened. I don't remember much after those first few shots we had, really."

He proceeded to tell me what happened last night. Apparently I had decided to take 10 shots in a row, while chugging rum and cokes. I knew David was not a big drinker, but I guess he had a couple shots, too. He said my demeanor had changed to something he had never seen in the 2 weeks that he had known me. I was aggressive and challenging him. He said he was sure it must have had everything to do with me seeing my ex. The realization made him get really possessive and he said he yanked me into the bathroom and locked the door and tried to have his way with me.

"So, that's when you gave me the hickey?" I asked. He nodded, still looking ashamed. "What else happened?"

"Well, things got really heated for a while. You let me do things that you never let me do before. I thought we were going to have sex. Then you looked at me like you loved me… I wanted to just go with it at first." He paused again. "You… You called me Magnus and I just kind of lost it."

"What do you mean 'you lost it'?" I asked frowning. Did he try to fight me or something? David was tall, shorter than me though. He wasn't necessarily weak, but I doubted he would be any match for me even in my drunken state.

He gulped, but continued. "I pushed you against the wall and shook you a few times. You didn't fight back for some reason. You just kept telling me to stop. It made me even more mad. I pushed you some more. Then I, um tried to have um sex with you, um, again and-

I dropped his stupid hand out of mine and jumped to my feet. "You tried to fucking rape me?! Is that what you're saying to me right now?" I screeched.

David tried to yank my back into my seat. I shoved him off. How dare he tell me something like that and have the nerve to touch me.

"I was drunk, just like you." David whined pathetically.

"Really? You made it sound like you hadn't had that much." I reminded him, looking into his eyes, trying to discern the truth.

He raked his hand down over his face, destroying his goofy hairstyle. He had really pissing me off and everything that I had found cute about him was starting to look ugly. He hesitated, most likely trying to decide how to word his next sentences. "I was probably more jealous than drunk," he admitted, hurrying on to add, "But I stopped myself. I got you home safely. I'm really sorry…"

I really didn't know how to feel, exactly. I couldn't believe that he would have even come close to doing something like that. That he would let jealousy over an ex cloud his judgement like that. I couldn't take that lightly. "I gotta go. I'll call you later." I said, getting up, not looking at him.

David looked as if he wanted to cry, but he just nodded his head as I left the shop.

When I got home I headed straight to the shower and though it was barely 4 in the afternoon, I put myself to bed.

I couldn't fall asleep, though, no matter how long I laid there tossing all about, failing to get comfortable. I hated to think about it, especially since I couldn't really do anything to help it at the moment, but I knew exactly what the problem was: I missed strong caramel-colored arms that wrapped around my body and warmed me inside and out. I missed full, pouty lips that caressed my own, that kissed my skin all over and melted all my senses together and threatened to take my breath away. I missed a strong broad chest that held a steady beating heart and lulled me to sleep. I was missed that heartbeat so desperately. That beat, so strong, so deep. It was gone, but I could still hear it's echo in the silence.

For all my talk at lunch today, I knew that I had a long, long way to go in getting over Magnus. Truth be told, I suspected that I would never get over him completely.

The funny part was that the thing that has been keeping me up at night was that I was pretty sure Magnus wouldn't be able to get over me completely either. If his display at Luigi's was any indication, at least. It hurt me to no end, for some reason, picturing him a hundred years from now, looking back at my memory. Regrets were the reason Magnus did not like to think about his past and I knew that I was destined to be another regret in a long list of them. It really tore at me. If I couldn't give him forever, I would at least have liked to have given him memories to look back on lovingly.

Starting with the next chapter there is going to be way more malec-y malec interactions. So yea! We can all look forward to that. I hope to update again within 2 days.

Thanks for reading!