Hope's POV
(Flash Back)
Today is Friday, which means I get to go the park with Mommy! Mommy used to not take me to the park unless Daddy came too, but now she does not mind since I'm a big five year old! As soon as Mommy takes me out of my booster seat, she hands me a grey sweatshirt. I used to like grey because I wanted to look like a shark, but I don't like the color anymore since sharks are ugly.
"Mommy." I say, with a frustrated groan.
"Hope, put on the sweatshirt or I'll drive you right back home." Mommy warns.
I sigh, before putting the ugly grey sweatshirt on. Mommy really annoys me sometimes. She always makes me wear sweatshirts, and she always makes me hold her hand when we cross the street. Doesn't she know that I'm five?
"Hope, stay with me the entire time. Don't leave my side, okay?" Mommy asks, as we walk towards the park.
Mommy says this every time we go to the park. She tells me to stay close to her, and not leave her side. I always listen to Mommy since I don't want a time out, but today I am feeling super angry. That's why when Mommy sees some of her friends, I run far far away from her. Now that I'm gone, Mommy will feel sorry for making me wear the grey sweatshirt.
I climb up the smallest tree I can find, and wait a gazillion years for Mommy to find me, and say she's sorry. Mommy doesn't come though. Instead, another mommy comes, and scoops me up. I kick and scream, but she doesn't let go. When we get to the playground, I see Mommy laying on a bench, and crying. She's crying a lot. Even more than when I fell off the swings, and broke my arm. My plan doesn't seem like a good idea anymore...
"Aria, don't cry! Look! We found Hope! She's safe!" Someone else's mommy says as she sets me down next to my mommy.
Mommy doesn't say anything though. She just continues to cry. It's almost like Mommy isn't here. She won't look at me, and she won't stop crying. I'm scared. I want Mommy back.
"Mommy." I say, as I shake her gently.
Mommy still doesn't say anything. Why is she doing this? What happened to my mommy? I feel so upset, that I start to cry. None of the mommies try to help me like they're helping my mommy. They seem angry at me. Probably because I'm a bad girl who made my mommy cry.
After gazillion years, Daddy shows up at the park. I run into his arms, and he kisses my forehead softly. That's good. He's not mad at me. Probably because he doesn't know that I'm the one who made Mommy cry.
"Sweetheart." Daddy mutters, as he runs to Mommy's side.
"Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy?" I ask through my tears.
"Don't worry about it, baby. Mommy is going to be fine. Come on. I'll get you both home." Daddy mutters before lifting up Mommy, and carrying her to the car.
Line Break
Mommy hasn't gotten out of bed in three days, and no one will tell me why. Gregory sits by her all day, and doesn't ever leave her side. Every time I try to get close to Mommy, he yells at me. I miss Mommy though. That's why I'm going to sneak past Gregory, and give her a ginormous hug. I tip toe into Mommy's bedroom, but Gregory is sitting right next to her! Before I can come up with a plan, Gregory sees me. Oh no! I'm in big trouble!
"I told you to stay away!" Gregory growls, as he cuddles closer to Mommy.
"That's not fair! She's my mommy too! You have to share!" I say, as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"Why should I have to share when it's your fault that she's gone? If you hadn't run away at the playground, Mom would still be here! You're the reason this happened!" Gregory screams furiously.
G-Gone? Last week my goldfish Crunchy floated to the top of his fish bowl, and stopped moving. Daddy told me that Crunchy was gone, but that really confused me since he was still in the bowl. Mommy then explained that even though Crunchy's body was still in his bowl, his spirit was in heaven with God. That means Mommy's spirit is in heaven with God. That means Mommy is dead. That means I killed Mommy! I killed Mommy!
"MOMMY!" I scream, as I drop to my knees.
"Get out of here, Hope. I don't want to see you ever again." Gregory says, as he crosses his arms over his chest.
I don't want to see me ever again either. I killed Mommy. I'm a bad, bad, bad, girl. Gregory hates me. Daddy hates me. Mommy probably hates me too. I want to die. That's why I run outside to the play structure and climb to the very top. Gregory once told me that if you fall off something ginormous, you die. I jump off the play structure, and close my eyes tight. When I open them, I'm not in heaven with Mommy. I'm still in my back yard, but my leg hurts. It hurts as much as my heart. I start to scream, and then Daddy comes outside.
"Hope, what's wrong?" Daddy asks, as he rushes over to me.
I don't say a word. Instead, I point to my leg, and Daddy gasps.
"Oh, Hope. Your right leg is twice the size as your left one. Did you fall off the play structure? I need to get you to a doctor. There is no way this isn't broken." Daddy says, with a breathy sigh.
I don't want to go to a doctor. Doctors make people feel all better. I want to die. Before I can tell Daddy not to take me to the doctor, Mommy walks out of the house. MOMMY! She isn't dead after all? Maybe Gregory was wrong. But Gregory is never wrong...
"MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" I scream, as I try to stand up. My leg hurts so much, that I can't stand. I fall into Daddy's arms, and start to cry even more because I'm worried my leg will snap off.
"Hope! What's wrong? Why are you crying, darling?" Mommy asks, as she rushes over to me.
"She fell off the play structure. Her leg is shattered, Aria." Daddy says, as he shakes his head slowly.
Mommy takes me from Daddy, and begins to cry as hard as I am. Why is she still sad? Mommy should be happy that I got an ouchie since I almost killed her .
"My baby! Hope, I'm so sorry. I'll never let you get hurt ever again. I promise, honey. Oh my baby!" Mommy says, through her tears.
I don't like when Mommy cries. It makes me sad. Especially since I thought I killed her. I don't ever want to see Mommy cry again.
"I won't let you get hurt either, Mommy." I say, as I cuddle closer to her.
(End of Flashback)
"Hope, are you okay?" My mom asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
No. I'm not okay. How the hell did this happen? I cannot believe I am sitting in a private room at the Rosewood PD with my mother. In a few minutes, an officer is going to come in and take my statement. All of the sudden, I'm not so sure I want my mom in the room with me. What if she has one of her mental breakdowns afterwards? I can't handle her not being here with everything going on. Also, I promised years ago that I wouldn't hurt my mom like I did that day at the park.
"Mom, are you sure you want to stay for this?" I ask, as I stare into her hazel eyes.
"Hope, of course I want to be here. I promised you, remember?" My mom asks, as she grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.
She also promised that she'd never let me get hurt, but look how well that turned out? No. It's not my mom's fault. I was the one who chose to drink. So why do I feel so resentful towards her today?
Ever since I was little, my mom has had major anxiety. Every once in a while, she'll be gone for days, and my dad will have to drive her to the hospital. Other times she's too depressed to get out of bed, and it scares the crap out of me. Maybe I'm resentful because I feel like I can't talk to my mom about this without her suffering from a mental breakdown. But still, it's not her fault. My mom's condition is genetic, so I don't know why I'm upset with her today.
"Honey, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" My mom asks, with concern in her voice.
"I don't want you to be here if you're going to have an anxiety attack afterwards. I can't deal with that right now, Mom. I need you." I say, as tears begin to form in my eyes.
A look of absolute despair washes over my mother's face. I know I shouldn't have said that. Now she's going to feel badly about her condition, and I don't want that. All I want is for my mom to be okay. Heck, I want both of us to be okay.
"Honey, don't worry. I won't let my anxiety get in the way of my being here for you. Honestly, don't worry about me. I'm here for you." My mom mutters, before offering me a soft kiss on the forehead.
Before I can respond, a female police officer walks into the room. She has dark hair, and beautiful olive skin. The officer looks familiar. I feel like I've seen her around town before. Maybe she's worked on a lot of cases in Rosewood?
"I'm guessing you're Hope? My name is Olivia Benson. I'm one of the new detectives in Rosewood." She says before taking a seat across from me, and giving my hand a firm shake.
"Nice to meet you." I mutter shyly.
"I'm guessing you're Mom?" Olivia asks, as her eyes dart up to my mother.
"Yes." My mom says, with a small nod.
Olivia glares at my mother for a minute, and a look of shock washes over her face. What is going on? Does Olivia know my mother from somewhere? This is certainly strange.
"Oh my God! You're..." Olivia starts to ramble.
Before Olivia can finish her sentence, my mom abruptly shakes her head. Olivia stops taking, and focuses her attention on me. Wait, what just happened?
"Hope, before we start I want you to know that I work with young girls like you on a daily basis. I am not here to interrogate you, or make you feel uncomfortable in the slightest. My job is to get as much information as possible so you have a successful trial. If you want to take your time, or step out of the room at any point, feel free. We can do this at your pace. The only thing I ask is that you're completely honest with me, so we don't run into problems in the future." Olivia says, as her voice softens.
I let out a prolonged sigh. It sounds like this woman believes me. She's on my side. Will she still be on my side after she hears the truth about what happened that night? I doubt it.
"Honey, do you want to start by telling her what you were doing at the party?" My mom asks, as she rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah, sure. This girl Olivia Quinn threw a huge party, and my best friend convinced me to go with her. At first I was nervous since I never really go to parties, but then I started having a lot of fun." I mutter, as I avoid looking into the detective's eyes.
"Did you drink anything that night, Hope?" Olivia asks, as her tone turns serious.
I did, but should I tell the detective that? Can she get me in trouble for drinking under aged? What if I get arrested? I look at my mom to give me a cue of some sort, but she merely shakes her head.
"Hope, you have to tell Olivia the truth." My mom says, as her tone turns serious.
"Yes, I drank alcohol last night. It was my first time drinking, so I went a little overboard. My friend Miranda stayed downstairs with Olivia, and I went upstairs to dance. That's when I saw him." I say, as tears begin to form in my eyes.
Olivia responds by putting her notepad down, and handing me a box of tissues. I immediately grab one, and attempt to dry my watering eyes. How am I going to get through this? I could barely tell my mom what happened, so how am I going to tell a complete stranger?
"Hope, you obviously know who did this to you. Can you give me a name, or a description of some sort?" Olivia asks me gently.
"N-No. I'm sorry." I say, as I begin to shake my head vigorously.
"It was Owen. Owen Labrie." My mom says, butting in for me.
Olivia's eyes widen, and she quickly jots something down in her notebook. She must know who Owen is. Everyone in Rosewood does, since he has a full ride to Harvard.
"What happened next?" Olivia questions.
"Well, Owen started grinding on me. I didn't exactly stop him, so we danced for a song or two. I got into a huge fight with my friend, and he offered to take me to his car so we would talk. I was so drunk that I fell once we got to the driveway, so Owen had to carry me. Once we got to the car, he started kissing me..." I say, through my heavy sobs.
"And you consented to the kissing?" Olivia asks me gently.
"Yes, I did. But then he started t-touching me down there and asked him to stop. He ripped off my shirt and bit my chest..." I start to say.
"Another felony right there. That's assault." Olivia says, as she shakes her head slowly.
"How many felonies are we looking at here?" My mom asks, sitting up a bit in her chair.
"It depends. I can give you a number after Hope finishes telling her story." Olivia informs my mother.
"A-After that he started licking me, even though I didn't want him too. Then all of the sudden he was kissing me again, and then I felt him inside of me. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't. It was like I was frozen. I told him no three times." I say, as I begin to sob even harder if that's humanly possible.
"Oh, baby." My mom says, as she wraps her arms around me, and begins to stroke my dark hair.
"After he finished, did he say anything to you? Was he violent, or threatening in anyway?" Olivia asks, with a breathy sigh.
"No. He just kicked me out of the car, and then I called my older brother." I say, as I shake my head slowly.
"Is there anything else you need to tell Olivia?" My mom asks, as her tone turns serious.
"No. I just want to go home." I say, as I shake my head vigorously.
"It's okay, Mrs. Fitzgerald. I think I have enough information for now. I'll be in touch." Olivia says, as she springs to her feet, and opens the door for us.
Aria's POV
Hope doesn't say a word to me during the car ride home. There's so much I want to say to her, but I can't find the right words. All I know is that my little girl is hurt, and I seem to be making everything worse. My own daughter didn't want me there during the questioning since she thought it would lead me to one of my dissociative states. I never thought my past would affect my ability to be there for Hope. I guess I was wrong. As soon as I pull into the driveway, Hope hops out of the car without saying a word. This would probably be the appropriate time to check on her.
"Honey, are you sure you're okay? I know answering those questions was difficult, and if you need to talk..." I start to ramble.
"No, that's okay. Honestly I'm just tired. Do you mind if I go upstairs and take a nap?" Hope asks me.
"Of course not." I mutter, before planting a kiss on my daughter's forehead.
As soon as Hope goes inside, I take a seat on the family porch swing and let out a breathy sigh. I feel like a terrible mother. All of the sudden, I feel a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around me. I look up, and gasp when I see my husband sitting next to me. When did he get out here?
"How did it go?" Ezra asks me softly.
I cannot even begin to express how painful the past two hours have been, so I merely shake my head. Ezra pulls me even closer to him, and tears begin to pour out of my eyes. Why aren't I capable of protecting my own children?
"She hates me, Ezra." I say, as I burry my head in his chest.
"Hope? Are you crazy? She's always been a Momma's girl. Hope loves you, Aria. We both know that." Ezra says, as he stares into my hazel eyes.
"Things have changed changed, Ezra. Today I saw something in Hope that I've never seen before, anger. She didn't want me in the room with her, Ez. She told me she was dealing with enough all ready, and she didn't want me to be gone..." I say, as I begin to hyperventilate.
"Sweetie, don't cry. Hope was just raped. She's angry at the asshole who hurt her, not you. Our daughter was probably worried about how you'd handle hearing about what happened, and that's why she didn't want you there. She was trying to protect you, Aria." Ezra says, as he begins to rub my back.
"Ezra, you're wrong. She's been angry at me for a while, and this was the first time I noticed it." I say, as I begin to shake my head vigorously.
"Why would she be angry with you? You're an excellent mother, and Hope knows how much you love her." Ezra says, as he furrows his brow in confusion.
"She also knows that there's something wrong with me, and our entire family!" I exclaim as I throw my hands into the air.
"There's nothing wrong with us, Aria." Ezra says, as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"That's a joke, Ezra. You and I both know that what happened to me effected us, and it still does. It's why I'm "gone" all of the time, and it's why we're so protective of our daughter. Hope knows that almost anything can push me over the edge, so she feels like she can't talk to me about her problems. She resents me for it, Ezra. I can see it in her eyes." I say, as I burry my face in my hands.
"Aria, stop it. You know that's not true. Hope doesn't resent you. She couldn't." Ezra says, as he begins to shake his head vigorously.
"Except she does." I say, as I stare into my husband's crystal blue eyes.
"Do you- Do you think it's time for us to tell Hope about the room? Maybe it would help her. If Hope realizes that you've been through the same thing, she might open up to you." Ezra says thoughtfully.
"T-Tell her? Are you crazy?" I ask, as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"No, I don't think so. Hope is fourteen, Aria. She deserves to know the truth. The longer we put it off, the harder it will be when we decide to tell her." Ezra says.
How is he so calm about this? Doesn't Ezra know that the truth will change Hope? If Owen didn't destroy her sense of security, this sure as hell will. Do we honestly want to put her through that right now?
"Not now, Ezra." I say, as I rest hand on his knee.
"But why?" Ezra questions.
"Because I say so!" I snap.
A hurt look washes over my husband's face, and I immediately feel guilty for yelling at him. Ezra is only trying to help, and I'm being a bitch.
"I'm sorry, Ezra. It's just that I'm not strong enough to tell her the truth." I say, with a whimper.
"I'm not strong enough to keep lying to her." Ezra says, as tears begin to form in his eyes.
"Neither am I." I confess.
"So what do you want to do?" Ezra asks me gently.
"Go back in time." I decide, after thinking about it for a minute.
"That's not an answer, Aria." Ezra says, with a breathy sigh.
"I want you to hold me. Is that a good enough answer for you?" I ask, as I look up at him helplessly.
"I'm sorry, but it's not." Ezra mutters, before springing to his feet and storming into our house.
AN: What did you think of this chapter? Did you like the flashback at the beginning? What does it say about Hope and Aria's relationship. Do you understand why Hope didn't want her mother at the questioning? What about the conversation between Aria and Ezra? Who do you agree with and why? Thanks for reading, and please review :)
I know I promised to update all of my stories on Thursdays, but my college app is due on Sunday and I've been working on it like crazy. I was obviously able to finish this chapter and the next chapter of Demons, but I won't be able to post Gone With The Wind tonight. I have most of it done, but I'm not completely satisfied with the chapter so far. I'd rather wait and write the story the way I envisioned it than just post something to get it done. Hopefully I'll have it done by tomorrow. Thanks for understanding :)