Gregory's POV
This morning after breakfast, I left my house and drove all the way back to The University of Pennsylvania. Had the circumstances been different, I probably would have stayed home for the weekend. Hope only learned the truth yesterday, and I wish I could be with her today. However, both her and my mother practically forced me out of the house. They want me to "take care of business" and earn Kennedy's forgiveness.
I've been pacing in front of Kennedy's dorm room for a solid twenty-minutes, but I can't find the courage to knock on her door. What if she hates me for being such an asshole the other day? I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't forgive me. I love Kennedy, and I need her far more than she'll ever need me. That's why I finally will myself to knock on the door.
Kennedy and I both gasp as soon as she opens the door. She gasps because she's surprised to see me, and I gasp because she looks like hell. Scratch that. Kennedy doesn't look like hell. She's the most beautiful woman on the planet, but she doesn't look like her normal self. Kennedy is usually so neat and put together, but today she looks anything but that. Her brunette hair is sloppily held together by a pony tail, and her eyes look incredibly tired and glassy. Poor thing.
"What are you- Can you please tell me why you're here?" Kennedy asks as she tries to contain her obvious shock.
"I think we need to talk." I murmur as I avoid looking into her eyes.
"Well, I have nothing to say." Kennedy says as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"That's okay. You can listen because I have plenty to say. Please?" I beg with desperation in my voice.
Kennedy doesn't respond right away. Instead, she stares at me with a blank expression on her face. I can already tell it's going to take a lot for Kennedy to trust me again, and I've only been with her for about a minute.
"Kennedy, please. I have some things I need to say to you. You owe it to yourself to give me a chance." I say as I stare into her beautiful blue eyes.
"Fine." Kennedy says with a breathy sigh.
I enter the dorm room, and Kennedy immediately takes a seat on her unmade bed. Usually I hold her when we have serious conversations, but I don't think that's going to happen right now. Instead of joining Kennedy on the bed, I take a seat on her wooden desk chair. As soon as we get settled, I open my mouth to speak. Unfortunately, the words don't flow out naturally like I assumed they would.
"I'm waiting, Gregory. Are you going to say something or are you just going to sit there like a mute idiot?" Kennedy snaps.
Kennedy's words take me completely by surprise. My girlfriend, well now ex-girlfriend, is usually as soft and tender as she is beautiful. The only time she ever insults anyone is if it's a joke, and she always apologizes right after. I don't think she's ever spoken so harshly to me before. I'm not angry though. I know I deserve it.
"Kennedy, one of my strongest qualities is that I'm excellent at verbalizing my feelings. It's probably because my parents are both English professors, but I'm great with words. That's why I was shocked the other night when you told me your secret, and I couldn't find the words to express what was going through my mind. I was just devastated that something so horrible happened to you, and I did a terrible job of expressing that. It's been almost two days, and I still can't find the right words. All I can say is that I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you got hurt, and I'm even more sorry that I reacted the way I did. I was wrong. I was so wrong, Kennedy." I say in a shaky voice.
When I look up, I realize that tears are streaming down Kennedy's face. I feel sick. I did hurt the love of my life, and I am the reason she's crying.
"You didn't- I wasn't expecting you to say anything, Gregory. Actually, I didn't know what to expect. I went through the possible scenarios so many times in my head before I found the courage to tell you, but they never ended in you leaving when I needed you the most. You're not who I thought you were." Kennedy says as she tries to hold back tears.
"No, Kennedy. That's not true. You know exactly who I am. The man who left you wasn't me. Not the real me at least. The real me isn't going anywhere because he loves you. He loves you more than anything." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"I don't understand. Why did you do that to me, Gregory? Why? You're the only person I ever told, and I trusted you. I trusted you to take care of me." Kennedy says as she bursts into tears.
I can't take this anymore. I need to have her in my arms. Without thinking about it, I spring to my feet and take a seat near the pillows on Kennedy's bed. Before she can push me away, I scoop her shaking body into my arms.
"P-Put me down!" Kennedy exclaims.
"I was scared, Kennedy. No. I was terrified. After you told me the truth, I realized that all three of the most important girls in my life had been raped. It broke my heart because none of you deserved to go through something like that. I felt so powerless. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe and happy, but I couldn't do that. Logically I know it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just- I just never want to see you hurting, Kennedy. It kills me." I say as I begin to cry softly.
"Gregory..." Kennedy starts to ramble.
"I know it sounded like I was angry with you, but I wasn't. I was angry at the universe, and I took it out on you. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for doing that. You needed love and comfort, but I let my emotions get the better of me. Initially I was hurt that you didn't tell me earlier, but I'm not anymore. What you went through was horrible and sometimes it takes a long time for people to let down their walls. Any resentment that I held towards you was unjustified, and I see that clearly now." I say with a sniffle.
"I wanted to tell you so many times, Gregory. I was just so afraid. Telling someone about what happened makes it seem so much more real, and I just want to pretend like it never happened." Kennedy tells me.
"But it did happen, Kennedy. Ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away. It might seem easier to keep it to yourself at times, but eventually those bottled up emotions are going to catch up to you. I know that better than anyone." I say with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" Kennedy asks as she furrows her brow in confusion.
"Do you remember when I told you about the time Nick stuck me in that closet and made me watch as he raped my mother?" I ask as I stare into her blue eyes.
"Of course." Kennedy says as her voice begins to soften.
"Well, I didn't tell you what happened after that. My mom asked what I saw while I was in there, and I panicked. Even though I was too young to understand what was going on, I knew it was wrong. I didn't want my mom to worry, so I lied and told her that I hadn't seen anything. I'd never lied to her before, Kennedy. She was my best friend. It wasn't until we escaped that I finally told my mom the truth. Do you know what she said?" I ask her gently.
"What?" Kennedy asks as even more tears begin to well up in her eyes.
"She said thank you. Even though the truth hurt my mom immensely, she was grateful that I told her. She loved me, and she wanted to help me. After I accepted my mom's help, I was given the chance to heal. I felt as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Keeping secrets from the people you love is absolutely exhausting, Kennedy. I think you need to let go of some of your secrets. You've been carrying this burden alone for too long." I say as my tone turns serious.
"What are you suggesting?" Kennedy asks with confusion in her voice.
"I'm suggesting that you talk to your mom." I tell her.
"No. I can't. It would hurt her too much." Kennedy says as she begins to shake her head vigorously.
"I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, Kennedy. The truth is going to hurt your mom like hell. She might be angry and blame herself at first, but you still need to tell her. I promise that she'd rather hurt for a while than make you suffer alone. She'll want to be there for you, Kennedy. Just like how I want to be here for you. That is, if I'm still lucky enough to call you mine." I tell her timidly.
Kennedy responds by scooting closer to me and throwing her arms around me. Is she- Does this mean she forgives me? No. It seems too easy. What I did was unforgivable, and Kennedy is by no means a doormat.
"Of course you are still mine, Gregory. I'm still hurt and a bit angry, but I'm still helplessly in love you. Ruining everything we have because of one stupid mistake isn't worth it. Especially now. I need you more than ever, Gregory. I know this is a lot to ask, but will you be there with me when I tell my mom?" Kennedy asks as she stares into my blue eyes.
Kennedy wants me there during such an important moment? It's going to be difficult, but I'll be there if that's what she wants. I'll do anything I can to fix my mistake for her sake.
"I'm honored that you trust me that much. Of course I'll be there. I'm always here for you, sweetheart." I tell her truthfully.
"Y-You said that I could talk to you about what happened. There's actually something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while." Kennedy confesses.
"What is it, honey?" I ask her gently.
"It hurt when he raped me. I usually bled, and I cried a lot every time. Even though it hurt me a lot, the rape was by no means the hardest part of all this. The most painful thing is that you weren't my first. I-I desperately wish you were though. It would have been so perfect." Kennedy says with a breathy sigh.
"In case you're forgetting, it was perfect. It was the most perfect night of my life. Knowing that I wasn't technically your first doesn't make it any less perfect. I could have been your ten-thousandth, and it wouldn't have made a difference. It shouldn't make a difference to you either. We found love, and that's all that matters." I tell her seriously.
"You really mean that?" Kennedy asks me with a sniffle.
"Of course I do." I murmur before pulling Kennedy even closer to me and planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
Hope's POV
One of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling overwhelmed is draw. Knowing that I can create something with a pencil and paper makes me feel empowered and in control. All morning I've been holed up in my room and doodling in one of my sketch pads. I immediately slam the pad shut when I hear someone knocking on my door persistently. My drawings aren't necessarily a secret, but they're usually pretty personal.
"Come in." I call out.
My mom immediately enters my bedroom, and I offer her a soft smile. I'm still trying to process everything that she told me yesterday, but I'm not angry at my mom in the slightest. Even though I don't agree with all of her decisions, I know she was trying to do what was best for me.
"Hi, sweetheart. I just came up here to check on you. Do you mind if I sit with you for a few minutes?" My mom asks me softly.
"Of course not." I say as I put my sketch pad on the nightstand and scoot over to make room for my mom.
"How are you?" My mom asks as she takes a seat next to me.
"Better than I've felt in a long time. I'm still kind of in shock, but I guess that's normal given the circumstances." I say with a shrug.
"It absolutely is, Hope. I don't expect you to understand everything right now, but I'm here if you want to talk. One of the reasons I'm here is because the two of us never sat down to discusses what happened to me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask." My mom says as she rests a hand on my shoulder.
I have so many questions to ask my mom, but I have no idea how to verbalize them. After what seems like eternity, a perfect idea pops into my head. I grab my sketch book and flip to the drawing I was working on before my mom came in.
"Do you like it?" I ask as I gesture towards my picture.
"I love it. Since when are you so interested in drawing babies, young lady?" My mom asks with a chuckle.
"Since I realized we don't have any baby pictures of Gregory. I obviously don't know exactly what he looked like, but I tried to imagine. Here." I mutter as I rip off the page and hand it to my mother.
"Darling, it's beautiful. Believe it or not, this looks exactly like baby Gregory. I think I'll frame this and hang it next to your baby pictures." My mom says as tears begin to form in her eyes.
"I just- I'm just trying so hard to imagine what it must have been like for you. I'm trying, but it's hard. I guess there are just things about your past that I'm never going to understand." I confess.
"That's okay. There are things about my past that I don't even understand. It doesn't matter though. I'm here now, and I have you. That's all that really matters." My mom says as tears begin to form in her eyes.
"What was the hardest part?" I blurt out suddenly.
"Being far from the people I loved. Your father, Grandma, Grandpa, Mike, Spencer, Hanna, Emily... I missed them. I missed them more than I thought was possible." My mom says with a sniffle.
"Do you still feel far from them?" I ask her curiously.
"No, not really. If I do, I just have to pick up the phone and call." My mom says with a chuckle.
"Huh. Sometimes I feel far too." I say with a breathy sigh.
"From who?" My mom asks as she furrows her brow in confusion.
"I don't know. Maybe just far from myself. I feel like so much about my life has changed, and I don't know who I am anymore." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"Well, I know exactly who you are." My mom says as she stares into my hazel eyes.
"Y-You do?" I ask her softly.
"Of course I do. You're Hope Fitz. My smart, beautiful, compassionate, strong, and loving baby girl. No matter how much the world around you changes, you'll never be anything other than yourself. If you ever forget who that is, come and talk to me. I'll remind you." My mom says as she plants a kiss on my forehead.
"I love you." I tell my mom truthfully.
"I love you too, angel. I love you more than anything in the entire world." My mom says as she pulls me close to her.
I offer my mom a teary smile as she holds me close to her. How is it possible to feel so young when you're already fourteen years old? For the first time in my life, I feel as though everything and nothing has changed at the same time.
AN: What did you think? Were you happy that Kennedy and Gregory made up? Did he redeem himself in your eyes? Did you like the Hope and Aria moment at the end? I personally love their relationship :). I just wanted to let you all know that the next chapter will conclude the story. It will take place six months later so you'll get to see where all of the characters are in the aftermath of all this. Please review and tell me your thoughts! Thanks for reading :)