A Spare Second Chance

Fili had never liked tree climbing. He and Kili would play with each other as children, racing, jumping, and otherwise romping through the area around their home, making everything a competition. And of course, being the older brother, Fili always won. Kili would take it honorably most of the time, though when provoked he could be a whiner, and would relish the wins he got. He also had a knack for never letting anyone live down embarrassing moments, such as the time they climbed their first tree together. Fili winced at the thought of it. To make a long story short, he had been too frightened to climb further up, or jump back down, and had held onto the branch until Kili came back with Thorin. He ended up sitting in the branches for over three hours.

Now, everything but his own inadequacy seemed to be reversed. As the Company ran further towards the shore, Kili was so clearly faster than the rest of them, more nimble and light-footed as well, and he could definitely beat his older brother in any competition. As they swerved off the riverbank and into a twisted clearing of the Mirkwood trees, Fili knew what was coming next.

"We can wait in the trees. It's safer that way," Kili had said. It had been a favor he had done for them, yet the more Fili thought about it, the more it seemed like his brother was pushing them all further away.

"Bard and I have agreed, that once he talks it over with his family, he can give you fair passage to Laketown. He'll be back by sunrise tomorrow."

It had only been luck that had forced the dwarven prince to stay with the Company at all, as the bargeman had been skeptical at the seemingly convenient family Kili had conjured up. It had been settled, Kili had to be present in the morning, or Bard wouldn't take them. Everything seemed so strange, not only a dwarf living among elves, but a dwarf living among elves being close friends with a man. Bombur's voice brought Fili out of his thoughts and back to reality.

"You really think I'm going to climb a tree?" The almost smile Kili had been wearing slowly slid off his face. He gave the other dwarves an almost pleading look as he examined Bombur, and the gigantic gnarled tree that stood before them. It was almost comical.

"Come on, Bombur. We can help you up," Fili offered, really smiling for the first time since they entered Mirkwood. His brother smirked, retorting jokingly.

"And how are you going to do that? You would…" The merry expression gone from his face, Kili trailed off. He spoke the next words almost to himself. "Get scared again." He blanched, raising a hand to muss his own hair, avidly avoiding all eye contact. Fili's eyes widened with recognition, as his brother cleared his throat. "Well then, let's get off the ground before the orc pack sees us."

He wished he could suppress the memories of the entire Company trying to get Bombur up to the first branch. The amount of time it took was entirely ridiculous, as was the fact that by the time the rest of them got in the tree; the midday sun was almost out. Each dwarf laid claim to a certain area of the thick and twisted branches, blocking out a piece of tree for themselves, though Kili insisted that they had to be a certain height off the ground. Fili could almost feel the childhood fear of falling of the trunk to his death creeping back inside him as he tried to make some sort of sitting position comfortable. Looking up over his shoulder, he could see that once again Kili had isolated himself, perched on one of the highest branches, his back facing the rest of the group.

Fili sighed as Ori took a seat next to him, the timid dwarf also seeming uncomfortable with the great height. "Well," Ori announced. "This is a spot we've gotten ourselves into."

"It's not so bad," Fili lied, shrugging. Ori sighed. "We made it out of there, at least. And Kili is…" He was at a loss for words. What was Kili? "Kili is back."

"I guess that's true." Both dwarves looked up to their kinsman, who seemed to be curling in on himself. The older heir was more than a little bit worried.

"There's something wrong with him. Don't you think?" Fili stole another glance at his brother, whose head and face was covered by his lank and dark hair. It was absolutely impossible to read any sort of expression from him. "I think the elves have messed up his mind. He's gone all funny." Ori examined his former friend. "What is he doing?"

Fili didn't really consider it before saying, "I don't know."

"Someone should go check-" Before Ori was even done speaking; Fili was working his way up the tree. He held his breath, his mind consumed with thoughts of: Don't look down. Don't you dare look down. The heir of Durin was not to make an ass of himself, especially when Thorin was only a couple of branches down the tree. Fili would not let himself appear stupid in front of his uncle, not for anyone in all of Middle Earth. Everything is going to be fine, he told himself. Just as the words of encouragement rushed through his head he got his first good look at his brother, and felt like he was going to fall through the canopy and break his back.

Kili's hands, which had been twisted around his side, came away from his flesh wet and red.

Fili used most of his remaining strength to pull up onto the same branch as his sibling. "What in Mahal's name are you doing?" Kili's head snapped up, his hands rushing defensively back to his abdomen. He looked frightened, but his expression soon became horrified. The dwarf prince was more haggard and pale than he had been earlier that day, and both the side of his mouth and his arms were twitching slightly. The bandages Oin had used to haphazardly wrap the arrow skim were soaked, and strewn in a pile on a nearby branch. Meanwhile, the red liquid was seeping through Kili's fingers and clothes. Yet, nothing in the dwarf's face indicated any kind of pain. Instead, he looked like a child who had been caught nicking sweets before dinner.

"What are you doing?" Kili accused. "Leave me alone!" Fili inched forward slightly, wobbling. The other prince recoiled, pushing himself further up against the thick trunk.

"Why aren't your bandages on? Do you know how dangerous that is?" Kili rolled his eyes. Finally, a habit Fili was familiar with.

"Do you know how dangerous it was for your uncle to demand that your healer simply 'wrap the wound' and just expect me to be fine? I'm fixing the damage!" That was almost impossible to believe.

"You are bleeding! Everywhere!" This didn't seem to upset Thranduil's creation in any way.

"Will you keep your voice down? I don't need any more of your family probing me." He had no response, so Kili continued with his work, roughly pulling a large black spine from the found. Fili stopped himself from gagging, looking away. "What are you, Fili son of Dis? Squeamish?"

Avoiding the question, he asked. "What are those things?" Kili shrugged, piercing the spine into the tree bark directly behind his head. It was among a group of at least ten other ones. Each spine was the length of one of Fili's fingers, and had smaller spiny protrusions coming out of all the surface area of the weapon itself.

"Barbs. The arrow skimmed, but these little," he cursed, "got left behind. If I don't get them out, they could get infected." Of course, Oin had mentioned it back at the riverbank. And Thorin had claimed there was no way they had the time to take care of it at that time.

"Why don't you see Oin?" Kili shook his head like the very idea was ludicrous.

"And have a bunch of grubby dwarf fingers poke around my insides? No, thank you." In pure frustration, Fili leaned forward, snatching one of his younger brother's slimy hands in his. By squeezing Kili's palm with his thumb, the fingers spread.

"What do you think these are? Pretty shiny elven fingers?" The glare he was given rivaled even Thorin's. It was definitely more present in his mother's side of the family.

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Oh really? Is that why you're bleeding out?" Kili pursed his lips and gulped.

"How am I supposed to know that?" Fili dropped his brother's hand, purely exasperated. He felt like he was speaking another language. Surely the dwarf understood Common Tongue. It wasn't like the elder was speaking Khuzdul and the younger was speaking Elvish. Were they even pretending to communicate anymore?

"It's your body!" Kili did not meet his eyes, instead ripping out another barb and placing it with the others.

"Unfortunately, you are correct. Tell me: how do you survive running on such short legs? From my experience it is incredibly inconvenient-"

"You are impossible!" It was a phrase usually used exclusively by Thorin and Dis, but Fili figured it was worth a shot. "Will you stop acting like that disgusting elf prince and wake up? Do you even hear yourself? We are your family. And that's something you're stuck with. I don't care if you don't like dwarves, but you are one. Sorry. Nothing is going to change that!" He was breathing more heavily than he wanted to, but Fili supposed this was a mixture of the fear and anger that was all rushing through his lungs at once.

"Fine." Another barb came out. Kili was still not looking at his brother. "I'll admit I'm a dwarf. I'll accept I'm heir to the throne of Durin. I will take you in as my one true family and never leave again." The tone was so wrong. It made Fili's skin crawl. "If you tell me why I ran. No one here talks about it, but that is what I was told. I ran away. Why?" He couldn't tell. He wasn't allowed to. No one was supposed to speak of the events that happened that night, and what triggered the tragedy that would be remembered by the entire community. Dis had told him every day before he went out "No matter what they say, no matter what they ask, we don't talk about Kee's birthday. Right?" It eventually became an unspoken rule along with "Keep your weapons sharp" and "Study your lessons."

"I…I…" Fili tried to come up with some sort of sympathetic explanation. He had just been a child, and it had been fifty years ago, but he knew exactly what had happened. He liked to tell himself he saw it wrong, though. "It was your twentieth birthday." Kili wasn't watchinh his brother as the story was told, but he was clearly listening. His ears perked up. "You were nervous because…because you wanted to please our uncle. Everything was fine, and then it all went wrong. It was an accident." It was the most he had ever spoken in regards to such events, and he already felt like a traitor.

"I knew you wouldn't tell me. What is so horrible that you hide everything?" Another barb was out. Fili was absentmindedly watching them, trying to reconcile with his sibling in any way possible.

"Why does it matter? You shouldn't care about how you left, or why you left. I didn't. I just cared that you were gone. We thought you were dead. We mourned you, Kili. There's a grave that we visit every first storm of the winter as a family." Kili didn't react at first, but after a couple of moments, a bizarre confusion began to sift across his handsome face. It seemed just upset at first, but slowly became one of compliance. Fili kept going. "All of us would have died for you. All of us will still die for you." The subtle breeze rustled through the broad leaves, weaving through the two princes' hair: a moment to relish the peace.

"Elves do not often speak of death." Kili finally muttered. "It does not happened very often in Mirkwood, as elves live so long and we are protected by our walls and guard. I am close to no one who has ever died." He bit his lip as he yanked out another bristle, but Fili could tell it wasn't from physical pain. "What…what does it…what is that like?" His older brother was taken aback by the question. Everyone in Ered Luin had felt death in some capacity. Many were like Thorin, survivors of Erebor, while others had lived through plague and misfortune. It was a world where it was impossible to be untouched by the loss. The thought of not understanding death was unfathomable.

"When Uncle Thorin told me you were dead I felt like someone had gutted me. My heart went with you, I'm afraid." He stared at his own hands as he spoke. They were slightly stained with Kili's blood, but otherwise cleaned by the river's water. When he finally looked up, awaiting a response, he barely caught a glimpse of a tear rolling down his younger brother's cheek, before it was wiped away on a gold and green sleeve.

"And mine with you." Kili smiled just slightly, enough so Fili could see. "My dwarf one, at least. You grow new ones eventually." Once again the quiet of Mirkwood overtook them, and they watched the cracks of sky through the canopy, instead of each other.

"You can go back to Thranduil tomorrow," Fili admitted. "Thorin will tell you that you can't, but he's lying. If you desperately need to, you may return to your elven kin. I won't lie and tell you that is what I want, but it's possible. I just…before you make that choice, give us all a chance. Dwarves don't get many chances. No, we're too damn stubborn." He chucked. "I don't know if you have a spare second chance but, think about coming with us to the mountain. I've missed my baby brother." At long last, Kili looked up at him, and their eyes met. In a single second, it was as if they understood one another. It was a brief time of bliss, only broken by the younger prince's nod.

"I will."

"Thank you." Fili reached out a hand. At first, Kili shied away, moving his neck to evade it.

"What are you doing?" Fili's hand clasped around the back of his brother's head.

"It's a dwarvish sign of affection, used a lot with family members. Do you mind?" Kili considered it for a moment, before shaking his head. Fili pulled him forward, so the brothers' foreheads were pressed against one another's. The fair-haired dwarf closed his eyes, fearing, that is would be the final time such a gesture would be used. They drew away. "Are the barbs out?"

"Yes."

"Let's stop you bleeding then. I can help you wrap the bandages."

Author's Note: Daw! Brotherly love makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. So, I updated again today to try and make up for all the lost time (also my Muse for this chapter made its triumphant return.) I hope you enjoyed the latest installment of this little story. As always, if you want to be informed of when I update again (soon!) then follow this story. If you really, really liked it, add it to your favorite story list. And last but not least, leave any tid bits, concerns, predictions, etc. in the comments section. I love hearing from you all! Until next time…