Hey everyone, how are we all? Hope you all had a freaking awesome Halloween! Lots of sweets =) Well, yeah this ep was naff. No two ways about it, sorry guys, but I personally just felt it was too slow, too blah. Sure Jensen was a great director and as always everyone acted their fine arses off, but story wise, yeah now we know it was building for another ep. But it just lacked a punch for me. So, I tried to mess with it, make it work, but honestly, not feeling this chapter that much either. I hope you guys like it, I hope it works. But if it's pants, yeah, you know why now... Sorry.
Big shout outs too *drum rolls* Asya55, Klandgraf2007, xxxjempa1112luvSPNxx and, Sam and Dean crazy ass wench for all the constant reviews! You guys keep me going when I think I've lost my mojo ;) Thanks guys!
Mini shout out to everyone who reads and alerts, dudes, you silent people, you rock too!
Disclaimer in chapter one...
The next couple of weeks we spent healing up in the cabin. I tried to distance myself from Dean. He lied to me. It was just that simple. He lied to me and I just couldn't trust him. I wasn't even sure that I could trust any of them. I caught my wolf reflection in glances as I walked past the window or a mirror. I'd double check myself when I caught my reflection but on the second look, I was normal. The nightmares had changed too. I was now rerunning killing those people. It was fighting my dreams constantly. It was hard to keep it off my mind. I kept to myself reading things or just surfing the web, catching up with the world. Anything to keep my mind busy. Anything to block out the memories and feelings of killing people. I couldn't shake them no matter how hard I tried. They were always in my mind, if I wasn't busy they always found their way to the front. It scared me to the core that I killed someone, no more than someone, it was people. I killed people.
Yet, here I was sat in a cabin with at least one experienced hunter alive and breathing. Why the hell didn't they kill me? Why the hell didn't they drop me the moment they found out? I asked myself sitting at the table, watching Sam and Dean. Sam was reading a book next to me and Dean was watching the TV. Why didn't they kill me? I mean, is that why I went to Castiel? Is that why I gave up my life to make a mends for it all? I pondered as Sam looked up from him book and frowned at me slightly.
"You ok?" He asked softly, brushing some of his floppy hair out of his face. I blinked and shuffled slightly in my seat.
"Yeah... yeah I was just thinking." I said with a soft smile and glance back down to the book I was failing to read. It was just some random book about Djinn, nothing I could really focus on.
"Thinking about anything good?" Sam asked softly, I could still feel his eyes on me. I looked back up at him and shrugged my shoulder, wincing slightly at the small amount of pain my left shoulder gave me. It had all but healed but still wasn't 100%.
"Just my family." I lied and Sam nodded softly giving me a sad smile before I turned back to my book and faked reading some more. On the TV I could hear a woman weeping over man, it was in Spanish or Mexican. Lately Bobby and Dean had gotten addicted to watching the stupid show. Bobby walked into the cabin and walked over to the table.
"Dude...Ricardo." Dean said waving to Bobby before turning his attention back to the TV. Bobby stopped dead in his tracks and turned to the TV as well.
"What happened?" Bobby asked sounding genuinely worried.
"Suicidio." Dean replied from the couch. The pair of them had their eyes glued on the TV.
"Adiós, ese." Bobby replied sadly. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I looked up and saw Dean get emotional about the guy dying on TV. "Well, this ought to cheer you up." Bobby added tossing Dean his car keys. A week ago Bobby brought my Camero over and I was so happy, I still couldn't drive her that well, but it meant I had the option to get away if I needed to. It wound Dean up so Bobby had promised to bring the Impala as well.
"My baby! Now I just got to get this stupid thing off and I can drive again." Dean smirked before poking his pot and turning the TV off. Bobby came and sat down next to me at the table after grabbing himself a cup of coffee.
"So how is it out there?" Sam asked as Bobby sat down.
"Weird with a side order of bloody. Talked to a few hunters. They're running into the same kind of thing that set up shop at that hospital." Bobby admitted glancing at us. Bobby had the best connections in the hunting world.
"Yeah, and don't forget tried to kill us at your place." Dean added with a sigh.
"Well, consensus is they're, um, they're like shapeshifter's only a lot more into eating folk. And nothing can kill 'em." Bobby explained shaking his head as he looked at us.
"Good times. Anything else?" Dean asked plainly twirling his keys around his finger mindlessly.
"Yep. They bleed black goo." Bobby muttered before taking a sip of coffee.
"Like that stuff that came out of Cass- those things from Purgatory. Uh..." Sam said struggling to remember their name.
"Leviathan." I said softly looking at anything but the boys eyes. I could never forget their names. The creatures scared the crap out of me.
"Yep." Bobby sighed again, giving me a quick sympathetic smile.
"What about those chompers that you and the sheriff saw at the hospital? They still making spleenburgers?" Dean asked looking at Bobby, trying to make it sound like a joke, but it came out dryly.
"Yeah, made some calls. That doctor never showed back up to work. Ditto a nurse and some administrator." Bobby replied roughly.
"So they could be at any hospital in America." Dean commented sighing loudly.
"Yeah." Bobby muttered into his coffee cup.
"Awesome." I muttered and glanced at Sam. He looked like he had zoned out again. It had been the only time he had zoned out in the three weeks.
"What do you think, Sammy? Sammy? Sam." Dean asked noticing it too. He gave me a worried look.
"Sam?" I asked softly glancing to Bobby when I got no response.
"Hey, ground control! Sam!" Dean yelled a little to his brother. Sam turned his left palm over and he ran his finger over the scar.
"Yeah. What? I'm - I'm right here." Sam said looking at us all.
"You okay?" Dean asked softly.
"Yeah. I'm fine." Sam replied looking at all of us trying to show us. No one said anything for a few seconds. We were all thinking about how Sam was really taking it.
"Good. Every last bit of info I ever had burned down, so..." Bobby groaned shaking his head. Changing the topic quickly so no one could question Sam.
"What about this place? Rufus leave anything? Did you check the basement?" Dean asked hopeful. Dean hadn't been able to move a lot and his exploration of the place went from the toilet to the couch and back again.
"C-rations and dust. I don't think he'd been here in years. So, I got to go round up my old library." Bobby said firmly shaking his head.
"I thought you said most of those books were one-of-a-kind." Sam asked confused.
"Yeah. That's why I stashed copies all over the place." Bobby smirked at us. I smiled back at Bobby.
"Okay, good. Um... Hey, uh, two-legs. We're fresh out of grub. Want to make a run?" Dean asked turning to Sam and waving the keys in his hand.
"Sure. Yeah." Sam said and Dean tossed Sam the keys.
"Be careful with her, would you? And, uh, Sam?" Dean asked Sam got to the door. He paused and turned to face his big brother.
"Yeah?" Sam asked confused.
"Pie." Dean said with a smirk.
"Obviously." Sam smiled before walking out of the door. As soon as Sam walked out the door Dean lost him grin and gave us a blank face.
"So?" Dean asked looking at me and Bobby. Bobby glanced to me and I shrugged my shoulders.
"So what?" He asked Dean.
"Before you bail again -Girl, Interrupted over there. Any thoughts?" Dean asked plainly, pointing to where Sam was sat.
"Looks to me like he's doing better." Bobby said plainly.
"Me too." I added softly.
"Better? What do you mean, better? You just saw him!" Dean asked getting worked up.
"Saw him check out once. That's progress." Bobby stated shaking his head.
"You're kidding!" Dean cried out.
"Look, seems to me that Sam's head ain't no different than your leg, or Megan's shoulder. People heal on a curve." Bobby said getting to his feet.
"Not diff- Bobby, I get this thing off in five days, I'm golden. Sam's not a curve. He's a frickin' time bomb." Dean cried out shaking his head.
"It ain't like he's keeping secrets. What you see is what you get. What's so nuts about calling an upswing?" Bobby asked washing out his cup.
"Because that's not how it works, Bobby, ever! All right? Especially not with Sam. The other shoe is gonna drop. It's just a matter of when." Dean said firmly.
"Well aren't you a ball of sunshine." I said sarcastically and Dean rolled his eyes at me.
"I just know it's gonna happen Megan. I don't think we should pretend anything else is gonna happen." Dean replied shaking his head at me.
"Okay. How 'bout we worry about today's problems? And today, we need intel. I'm going. You sit there and stew. I'll check in. Look...you sitting here wringing your hands ain't gonna do nothing. Maybe he'll surprise you." Bobby said walking over to me and giving me a quick hug before walking out of the door leaving me alone with Dean. Dean sighed and scratched his cast sulking again. He pouted slightly.
"He is getting better, you cant just wait forever for the other shoe to drop." I sighed walking over to pour myself another cup of coffee.
"But he is." Dean pouted folding his arms over his chest. I poured him a cup too and put it down next to the table.
"You think I'm gonna go nuts when I remember everything?" I asked sitting in the chair.
"You're different." Dean sighed picking up the cup.
"Am I?" I asked softly.
"Yeah, you're not gonna loose it and start making things up in your head." Dean said with a nod.
"If you say so..." I sighed taking a sip of my coffee. If only you knew the truth...
Sam came back about an hour later with the shopping, putting it on the table near Dean so he could grab it. "Ah, thank you." Dean sighed grabbing the bag and turning the TV off. He was like a kid at Christmas.
"Yep." Sam sighed standing at the table. "Where's Bobby? He take off?" Sam asked glancing at the pair of us.
"Yeah, went book hunting." I said plainly.
"Hey, Sam, how you doing?" Dean asked pausing, with his hand in the bag.
"Fine." Sam said plainly and walked over to us.
"I mean, you still, you know..." Dean said letting the sentence die away.
"Yeah, no, I,I know what you mean. Yeah, I'm, I'm still seeing crap that's not real. But, yeah, I'm fine. I mean, I can tell the difference." Sam said with a quick nod getting Deans message.
"Think it's getting better?" Dean asked glancing at me before looking at Sam.
"Honestly? Uh... I don't know. I just know I'm managing it, so... So don't worry." Sam said with a smile. Dean nodded and went in the bag pulling out a bag of sour skittles and tossing them at me. Without even asking who they were for.
"Those must be yours." Dean muttered before looking into the bag. I looked at the bag and smirked. I loved sour candy, it wasn't something I told people though. I turned and looked at Sam confused.
"How did you know?" I asked with a half smile.
"You eat them a lot on the road, especially if we had a long road trip. Cheered you up." Sam said with a smile. Maybe they do know me... I thought smiling and opening the bag, taking a few and popping them in my mouth.
"Thanks Sam." I smiled, hugging him with one arm.
"Welcome." Sam replied with the same warm smile.
"Where's the pie?" Dean asked putting out a slice of cake from the bag.
"I got cake. It's close enough, right?" Sam asked with a shrug. Dean looked devastated, I had to bite my lip not to laugh.
Later that day I was sat on the hood of my Camero just getting some fresh air. It wasn't too cold and I just needed to stretch my legs. The cabin was getting a little too small for my liking. I sighed as I pushed some hair out of my face and closed my eyes taking a deep breathe. Memories started to attack my calm, like a horrible nightmare.
I walked behind Mrs Silver. "I'm sure my husband wont be long with news." She said as she walked. She had no idea what I was about to do to her and her family.
"I doubt it." I said in a plainly voice. She stopped walking and turned to me confused.
"Sorry?" She asked innocently. I could instantly smell the fear as she turned to me.
"I doubt your husband will be coming back any time soon." I said plainly.
"What... who are you?" Mrs Silver asked backing away from me. Her fear was just rolling off her now and I was lapping it up.
"You're worst nightmare." I whispered and watched as Mrs Silver's eyes widened. She froze for a second. It was all I needed. In that second I was stood behind her. One hand on her mouth, the other wrapped around her neck. "I'm going to break your neck, enough so you wont move ever again. Then while you watch, I'm going to kill you son's in front of your eyes. And if, if I'm feeling generous, I might kill you too. I haven't decided yet." I whispered into her ear. Even more fear rolled off Mrs Silver as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Don't worry, I'll kill your sons quick." I added with a small laugh. I was stood holding Mrs Silver when a man walked into the back yard, wiping some blood from his chin. I knew he was a werewolf too, someone I had a connection with but I couldn't remember his name. He was tall his dark hair and wolf eyes. He wasn't the ugliest man in the world, but I knew he was dangerous.
"Haven't you killed her yet? We gotta grab the kids." He sighed jokingly mad at me. I shrugged and run my lips up her throat, feeling her pulse under my lips. The thrill her racing heart beat gave, I couldn't match that feeling with anything.
"I like to play with my food." I said with a smirk to the man.
"That's my girl." He smiled back at me. I kissed Mrs Silver's throat softly and she almost screamed. He watched with wide eyes as I continued to kiss her neck until I was near her main artery in her neck. As I reached it, I felt the increased pulse pass my lips. I took a quick glance at the man and he was licking his lips.
"Say good night Mrs Silver." I whispered into her eyes before biting down into her artery, her blood rushing into my mouth in an intoxicating rush. I drank her dry, and as her life let her I got an extra kick. After finishing my little snack, I laid her body on the ground and looked at the man...
I shuddered remembering killing the woman, then I remembered what I did to her child. I remember all the horrific things I did. The kick I got out of tasting their blood. The joy, the sick joy of killing another human being.
I bobbed down, wrapping my arms around the kid tighter, holding him against my body. I took his arm and pulled his sleeve up.
"Please, don't!" Ryan cried as I brought his arm up to my mouth. "No!" Ryan screamed as I bit into his young flesh. I drank a little of his blood then, bit my own wrist. I placed my bleeding wrist over the bite and held it there until the kid stopped screaming. His body went limp in my arms. I picked him up and laid him on the bar.
I snapped my eyes open and shivered, a tear rolling down my cheek as I recalled the lives I took back when I was werewolf. It was tearing me up inside knowing that I took their lived for no good reason. And it then my thoughts all came back down to the point. I couldn't understand why they hadn't killed me. I deserved to die. I really did.
"I really am a monster." I said pushing myself off the car and pacing up and down in front of the Camero. "I killed... I killed so many people..." I muttered shaking my head. The memories wouldn't leave me alone. Every time I closed my eyes, every time I went to sleep all I could see was me killing the family. Taking the lives and the sick and twisted kick I got out of it. It made me sick to the stomach. Literally. I ran round the back of a tree and threw my guts up.
"Megan? Hey, you out here?" I herd Sam shout from the door of the cabin. I groaned and spat out the last of the sick in my mouth and forced myself to walk out from behind the tree. I felt tired. So damn tired.
"Yeah." I replied weakly as Sam's eyes dropped on me. He closed the door to the cabin and walked over to me, frowning slightly as he put his hands in his pockets.
"You ok?" He asked confused.
"Just been remembering some stuff that wasn't so nice." I replied shaking my head. I felt sick again but I had nothing left to throw up, which considering Sam was stood in front of me was probably a good thing.
"Wanna talk about it?" Sam asked looking down at me with big puppy dog eyes. I shook my head slightly, then stopped, if I moved to much I thought I was gonna give Sam's shoes an interesting polish.
"Dean said I didn't do those things, so it's just my head messing with me." I shrugged watching Sam closely. He looked confused for just a second before a blank face appeared.
"I know all about that." He half joked. "What are you seeing?" Sam asked worried.
"It doesn't matter Sam, what did you want?" I asked trying to change the topic.
"You can tell me. You did help me a lot when I was kinda messed up." Sam said throwing the puppy dog look into overdrive. I sighed pushing the hair off my face and looked over to my car, zoning out a little.
"Killing people." I said so softly I wasn't sure Sam herd me or not. There was a long pause before Sam spoke.
"We all make mistakes and feel guilty about things. Maybe your brain is trying to work out why you feel that way." Sam suggested avoiding the issue of me actually killing people. "I'm sure it will pass."
"I hope so." I sighed walking to the cabin. Sam fallowed me in and I saw Dean out cold to the world asleep on the couch. I pulled a blanket over him and sighed.
"You gonna be ok?" Sam asked sounding worried.
"I will, just gonna, sleep for a while." I said throwing my thumb over to one of the bedrooms.
"Sure, yeah. If you need anything, just yell." Sam said sitting down at the table and picking up the newspaper.
"I will.." I sighed and walked into the room. I walked over to the bed and collapsed. "He knows something. He knows Dean is lying to me. Maybe I can trust Sam... Urgh! I have no idea who I can trust any more..." I threw my hands over my face and groaned before curling up and trying to get some sleep.
"Damn it!" I cursed shooting up bolt straight in bed, the cold sweat running down my face. I woke from another horrible dream. The flash back of killing the people fresh in my mind. I groaned, pulling myself out of the bed and grabbed a change of clothes. I walked into the bathroom and climbed into the shower. The dreams were making it so hard to get any rest. They only time I really got any peace was when I showered. I could zone out and let the hot water relax my body as I listened to the constant beat of the water on my skin. I had zone out and was actually starting to relax slightly when the bathroom door sprung open. There wasn't a shower curtain in the bathroom so the cold air hit my out of the day dream I was in.
"What the-?" I shouted turning to see Dean stood there with his crutch. "Dean? Get out!" I yelled wrapping my hands over my wet, naked body. Dean grinned at the imagine in front of him, looking like he had zoned out himself. I grabbed my wash cloth and threw it hitting him in the face and snapping him out of the thoughts.
"I... um... Can you get out here fast?" Dean asked before glancing at me once more and hobbling back down the corridor. I groaned loudly and grabbed the towel wrapping it around my body and fallowing Dean back to the couch where he was sitting down.
"This better be good Winchester, or I am going to cut your balls off with a rusty knife!" I growled glaring at Dean.
"Wow, your sexy when your fiesty." Dean laughed but I just growled again. Dean quickly stopped laughing and grabbed a note from the table passing it to me. "Read it."
"Fine!" I growled taking the note and opening it. "Back in a few days. I'm fine. Sam." I read the note and looked at Dean confused. "You dragged me out of the shower, for this?" I asked waving the note.
"He's gone! God knows where, with who knows in charge!" Dean said taking the note and looked genuinely worried for Sam's well being.
"Or he could just need some space. God knows I do being stuck in here for three weeks." I sighed shaking my head.
"Space, I thought avoiding me would give you enough space." Dean muttered and I rolled my eyes.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Oh you know, avoiding me, every chance you get." Dean replied sounding annoyed.
"Avoiding you?" I asked shaking my head.
"I noticed you don't want to stay around me alone." Dean said firmly.
"Yeah, and you wonder why, when you just burst into the bathroom while I was showering?" I asked rolling my eyes. "We're all living in a tiny space, on top of each other twenty four seven, in case you haven't noticed."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Dean asked plainly. I looked into his eyes and sighed.
"Yeah, I am Dean." I shook my head and decided to change the topic. "Why are you so worried about Sam? Sounds like he just needed some space." I sighed running a hand through my wet hair.
"Megan, I know Sam. Something is wrong." Dean said with pleading eyes. I sighed again and looked up at the ceiling for a second. I felt like something was forcing me to be around Dean. Like fate was making me stay around him. I looked back down and he still looked worried, waiting for me to say something.
"Fine. I'll get dressed and try calling him. Happy?" I asked plainly.
"I've tried calling, he wont answer." Dean replied dryly.
"Fine... we'll, we'll call Bobby and see what he knows... Just, give me a second to change." I sighed and walked off to get changed. I quickly got changed and Dean called Bobby putting him on speaker phone. I tried to call Sam, but he ignored my call letting it go to voice mail.
"Sam, it's Megan. You're stupid, retarded brother is worried about you. Just, call one of us, just to shut him up before I duck tape his mouth shut, thanks." I sighed closing my phone. I turned to Dean as Bobby picked up.
"Other shoe!" Dean said firmly as Bobby picked up the phone. I rolled my eyes at Dean. I thought he was over reacting. Sure Sam lost it big style once, but I had no doubt he had gotten past that and was getting better. Just try and convince Dean of that...
"Other who?" Bobby asked confused.
"Sam. He took off." Dean stated.
"Where?" Bobby asked.
"I don't know. Nowhere good." Dean stated with a frown.
"Well, maybe he needed a little me-time." Bobby suggested.
"That's what I said Bobby." I added and Dean glared at me. I poked my tongue out at him in response.
"Yeah, but his me-time ain't just him. I mean, for all we know he's road trippin' with Lucifer somewhere. Left me here like Jimmy friggin' Stewart." Dean explained hitting his pot.
"I assume you called." Bobby stated.
"Straight to voice mail. Megan tried too, same thing. He turned his GPS off, too. And he took my car!" Dean complained, sounding most angry by the fact Sam had taken Dean's car.
"Don't panic." Bobby stated trying to keep Dean calm.
"Too late!" Dean snapped. I gave Dean a blank stare and he flung his arms in the air huffing, before folding them over his chest and pouted.
"Look, he says he's okay, so give it a couple of days. Just till you get the cast off, then hunt him down. Till then, we'll all just keep calling." Bobby suggested.
"All right." Dean sighed and hung up on Bobby. I looked at Dean and he stared back into my eyes, watching me closely. There was a glint in his eyes. Something that screamed trouble to me.
"You're not just going to sit here are you?" I asked dryly.
"And you say you don't know me." Dean said sarcastically. I groaned getting to my feet.
"Fine, I'm not letting you go alone. Let me grab a bag of things and we can take my car." I sighed shaking my head.
"Fine. Just don't be too long." Dean stated. I nodded walking off to one of the rooms to gather things together. I got everything together and walked out of the room to hear a drill or saw starting up. I rushed to the living area to see Dean stood there with and angle grinder and a manic grin on his face.
"You're goin' down." Dean grinned before cutting into his cast. I groaned and rolled my eyes as he cut the cast.
"Oh lord..." I sighed.
I refused to let Dean drive my Camero for two very good reasons. Firstly, it was my car after all. She was my pride and joy, and I knew how to drive her to get the most out of her. Secondly, Dean had just took his cast off, he wasn't great with his leg and I didn't want him to crash the car and mess up my baby. Dean was sat in the passenger side trying to call Sam as I drove down the road. He sighed and threw his phone onto the dash.
"Shall I take that as no answer?" I asked softly, causally looking at the phone on my dash.
"Voice mail. Again! I swear I'm gonna kick his ass if he ain't in danger!" Dean growled folding his arms over his chest. He was more worried about Sam then actually mad. I could tell how close they were.
"Don't worry. We'll find him dude." I sighed as we reach the Gas and Sip store where Sam went to get out food. We pulled up outside and climbed out of the car. "This guy will probably remember him, come it's not like you could miss Sam." I half joked as we walked to the store.
"Yeah, lets hope he told the store clerk where he was planning to go too." Dean said sarcastically holding the door for me.
"You know, you are such a jackass at times." I huffed walking in and biting back a growl. We walked over to the clerk and I smiled politely. The clerk smiled back at me with a warm smile. Dean walked to the side of me and butted in before I could open my mouth.
"How you doing? Uh, was there a, uh, big guy in here yesterday?" Dean asked waving a arm to show the guy was much bigger than Dean. The clerk lost his smile and glared at Dean a little.
"That's specific." The clerk said sarcastically and I bit my lip not to smile. Dean pulled a face and then tried again.
"Uh, I mean big. Like about yea high?" Dean asked again waving his hand above his head more.
"He is abnormally tall. Kinda like a Sasquash." I joked slightly and the clerk smiled at me again. He was checking me out slightly and I wasn't sure what to do. So I acted like I hadn't noticed.
"Yeah, maybe. Uh, brown hair?" The clerk asked me with a soft smile.
"Yes! Yes. That's him. Do you, uh- you remember what he bought?" Dean asked butting in again. The clerk thought about it for a few seconds.
"Snacks, maybe?" He suggested not really remembering.
"How about a paper? Do you have yesterday's paper?" Dean asked quickly.
"Yeah, right there." The clerk said pointing to behind me.
"Oh." Dean replied, I picked up the paper and passed it to Dean. On the front cover was something about an ice pick killer. It didn't mean anything to me, but from the way Dean's eyes darkened, it clearly meant something to him. "Do you mind?" Dean asked the clerk and he shrugged.
"Thank you." I said as we were about to walk out the room.
"Hey, miss." The clerk called and I turned back around. "Um...here's my number. If you um ever wanna hang out sometime..." The clerk said passing me a scrap of paper. I smirked and took the paper.
"Thanks." I smiled tucking it into my back pocket. The clerk smiled as Dean groaned and headed out of the shop. I fallowed Dean out and chuckled to myself.
"What's so funny?" Dean said with a grumpy voice as we climbed in the car.
"That guy hitting on me." I said with a chuckle. "Weird." I said shaking my head.
"How's it weird?" Dean asked confused. I paused and turned to him looking utterly confused.
"I'm just not used to it I guess." I shrugged starting up the car. Dean looked a little jealous and cleared his throat.
"Yeah well..." Dean looked down at the paper scowling at it. "We need to go check out these deaths." Dean stated changing the topic. I glanced at the paper, he was reading the front page.
"Sure thing, just tell me the directions." I said pulling away from the place.
We drove to a local motel and book in for an hour to change into our FBI clothes and grab our badges. Then we headed down to the coroners to check out the dead bodies. Dean wouldn't tell me what he thought Sam was up to. All he told me was that he thought it might have been some kind of hunt Sam was working. We walked in the building and was lead to the bodies. The coroner pulled out a dead body, looking at the clip board before looking back at us.
"This is the one he asked to see." He replied double checking his note board.
"Great, great. Uh, let me ask you, did he do anything to it?" Dean asked as we looked at the body. It was a guy, looked like he had some trauma to the neck, and head. It looked like the paper had said, like an ice pick had been used to kill him. I wasn't sure what the hell it was that had killed him.
"No. He just asked a few questions about the other vics - missing pituitary glands and so forth." The coroner replied looking from me to Dean.
"Son of a bitch." Dean muttered softly before we left the building. We headed back to the motel and changed. Dean wouldn't say a word and I could tell by the way he was acting he knew exactly what Sam was up to.
We got into the car and Dean called Bobby to fill us both in at the same time. I was kinda annoyed that Dean wouldn't tell me but I think he was still sulking because of the clerk hitting on me.
"Sam's chasin' a what?" Bobby asked confused on speaker phone.
"A Kitsune. It's pretty rare. Dad and I hunted one back in '98." Dean explained as I drove. I glanced at Dean and he was watching the road.
"Vaguely rings a bell." Bobby replied.
"Yeah, didn't make our highlight reel." Dean sighed.
"Well, least now we know he's working a job." Bobby said trying to save positive.
"Told you so." I chipped in and herd Dean sigh.
"Play nice you two." Bobby warned with a laugh in his voice.
"Yeah, but why pull the Houdini act?" Dean asked changing the topic back to Sam.
"Not a clue." Bobby replied.
"Maybe he thought he could handle it alone?" I suggested softly.
"Maybe he didn't want us involved for some reason." Dean suggested as we glanced at each other.
"What are you gonna do when you catch up?" Bobby asked confused. Dean glanced at me with a smirk before answering Bobby.
"I got a few ideas." Dean replied.
"Well just don't kill him." Bobby sighed.
"I'll make sure he doesn't Bobby." I replied.
"Good. Call me when you find him." Bobby said before hanging up. Dean put his phone away and we drove in silence for a little while. As I drove the thoughts of killing the people started to creep into my fore mind. I groaned and hit play on the CD player. Suddenly Bullet For My Valentine started to play and I started to drum my fingers on the steering wheel. Dean grunted and turned the music off.
"Hey! Why'd you do that?" I asked shocked and slightly annoyed at Dean.
"Because it's rubbish. Haven't you got any better music? Metalica? Hendrix?" Dean asked opening the glove box and looking through my CD's.
"Hey, back off! Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole!" I said switching the music back on and drumming my fingers to the beat again. I glanced to Dean and he froze, just sat there with his mouth wide open. I turned down the music a little and looked at him confused. "What?" I asked confused.
"What did you just say?" Dean asked putting the CD's back. I paused and thought about it.
"I said, driver picked the music-" I started to say.
"Shotgun shuts his cake hole." Dean said cutting in. I nodded slightly confused.
"What? What did I do?" I asked confused. Dean smiled at me and shook his head.
"That's my rule. I've said that to you and Sam when you complained about the music I listen to in the Impala." Dean said with a warm smile. I sighed softly, pushing some hair out of my face as I processed it all.
"So... what? I remembered that?" I asked confused.
"You must have. We haven't been in a car together long enough since you came back." Dean replied. I nodded slowly.
"It's gotta be a good thing right?" I asked glancing at Dean.
"Yeah, yeah, it's the first thing you've really remembered about me." Dean said with a warm smile. I smiled back. It was the first nice thing I had remembered at all. It gave me a small hope that there was more nice to things to remember.
We reached the motel Sam was checked into and found the room Sam was staying in. I parked the Camero out of sight of his room and we climbed out taking our bags. Dean sighed as he looked around the parking lot and couldn't find his Impala.
"I'm sure Sam is keeping her safe." I half joked as I put my hand on Dean's shoulder.
"Yeah. But man, I'm gonna kill him for stealing her!" Dean huffed as we walked to the room. I knocked and we got no answer.
"Plan B?" I asked glancing at Dean. He went into his pocket and pulled out the lock pick.
"Plan B." He stated as I stood in front of him as he picked the lock. We went in and dropped our bags. The room had a wall with what looked like a hunt planned out on it. I slipped my jacket off as Dean walked over to it.
"Homework?" I asked walking to the side of Dean. It was impressive Sam had definitely been doing his homework on this hunt.
"Yeah..." Dean sighed turning around and dropping his jacket on the chair over mine. "I just don't get why..."
"He just might of wanted to prove to himself he could handle it alone? You know, that he isn't a messed up as he thought he was?" I suggested turning to face Dean. He didn't look so convinced.
"I guess." He replied when we herd the Impala pull up. Dean turned to the door as I stood back and waited to see what he was going to do.
"Remember you can't kill him." I said softly.
"I know." Dean said just as soft. We herd the door unlock and I saw Dean tense up. As soon as the door was opened Dean punched Sam making him fall backwards to the floor with an almighty thud. "Howdy, Sam." Dean said plainly.
Sam walked into the motel and looked shocked by the punch. I had to admit, I didn't expect Dean to punch his brother that hard. Sam glanced at me for an explanation and I shrugged my shoulders.
"New rule. You steal my baby, you get punched. The hell were you thinking, Sam, running off like that? I mean, for all we know, Satan could have been callin' your plays." Dean scolded his brother. Sam walked over to me and I grabbed a soda from the fridge and handed it to Sam. He pressed it against his head where Dean had punched him. It looked like it was going bruise and look nasty in the morning.
"Dean, look, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine." Sam sighed softly.
"Oh, yeah, no, you're a poster boy for mental health. You have any idea the kind of horror shows I had going on in my head?" Dean replied sounding really pissed at Sam.
"Dean, take it easy man." I said softly Dean turned to me and huffed.
"Easy? Megan, we had no idea where he went or what was happening to him! Now is not the time to take it easy! Now is the time to kick your ass." Dean said turning to Sam and pointing his finger at Sam.
"Dean, I left you a note. There was a job in town." Sam said explaining his actions with a shrug.
"A Kitsune. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. And you ignore Bobby, Meg and I's phone calls why, exactly?" Dean asked folding his arms over his chest as he sighed loudly.
"Because I wanted to take care of it. And I did. I took care of it." Sam said sitting on the edge of the bed and looked from me to Dean.
"Really?" Dean asked shocked.
"Yes." Sam sighed.
"Where's the body?" Dean asked plainly.
"There is no body." Sam sighed getting to his feet.
"Why not?" I asked confused by it all. Sam sighed and looked from me to Dean and back to me again.
"Because I let her go. She's gone." Sam explained.
"You what? Why?" Dean asked utterly shocked and confused.
Sam explained to us why. He explained that back when Dean and his dad were hunting the Kitsune, Sam had run into it and her daughter. Sam explained how him and the daughter kitsune, Amy had got together and kissed. Sam explained how he was at Amy's when her mother came home and found him there. How she had tried to kill Sam, feed from him and Amy had killed her own mother to protect him. Sam explained to us how he completely trusted Amy. He believed her and I believed Sam. It was one of those weird moments again where I just knew I could believe Sam. I just knew it was true.
"You never told me that." Dean sighed shaking his head a little.
"I never told anyone. I mean, can you imagine what Dad would have done?" Sam asked with a half hearted chuckle.
"So you saw the article in the newspaper, and you just bolted." Dean said.
"It was my mess." Sam sighed softly.
"And you call letting her go cleaning it up?" Dean asked firmly.
"She killed her own mom, Dean, to save me." Sam said getting to his feet.
"I hear you, Sam. I do. But look at her now. She's dropping bodies, man... Which means we got to drop her, no matter how many merit badges she racked up when she was a kid. I'm sorry, but it's that simple." Dean stated firmly.
"Simple? Really Dean, you're going to talk to me about it being that simple?" Sam asked and Dean glanced at me before looking at Sam.
"Sam this has-" Dean said softly.
"This has everything to do with it Dean." Sam said getting mad at his brother.
"Someone wanna fill me in?" I asked getting the guys attentions. They turned to me and Sam nodded.
"Yeah, why don't we fill her in Dean?" Sam asked turning to his brother.
"Sam no." Dean warned firmly.
"Someone tell me." I said plainly. Sam turned back to me and nodded.
"Dean wants to kill Amy because she killed someone." Sam said.
"Yeah I already got that bit." I said sarcastically.
"Yeah well what Dean seems to forget is-" Sam started to say.
"Sam! I said no!" Dean barked glaring at his brother. Sam paused and shook his head.
"This is so hypocritical." Sam muttered
"What the hell is going on here?" I asked looking from Sam to Dean.
"Nothing. It's complicated." Dean snapped at me.
"Nothing in our lives is simple." Sam muttered. Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face before turning to his brother.
"Look, man, I get it, okay? You meet a girl, you feel that spark - there's nothing better. But this freak?" Dean asked. Sam stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I didn't mean-"
"Yeah, you did. Look, I see the way you look at me, Dean, like I'm a grenade and you're waiting for me to go off." Sam snapped again.
"Sam-" Dean said softly, trying to avoid a fight.
"I'm not going off. Look, I might be a freak, but that's not the same as dangerous." Sam said firmly.
"I didn't say-" Dean argued half heartedly.
"It's okay. Say it. I've spent a lot of my life trying to be normal, but come on. I'm not normal. Look at all the crap I've done, look at me now. I'm a grade-A freak. But I'm managing it. Megan managed it. And so is Amy." Sam said pointing to me slightly. I had no memory of handling being a 'freak'. I stood there and watched the pair carefully.
"Is she? How?" Dean asked getting a little worked up.
"She works at a damn funeral home so she doesn't have to kill anyone, Dean. She's figured out how to deal." Sam almost shouted.
"Okay, well, then explain the bodies." Dean asked firmly.
"She's done. Her friggin' kid was dying, Dean. Put you or me in her position, we'd probably do the same thing. Look, you don't trust her. Fine. Trust me. Dean, please." Sam asked pleading with his big brother.
"Okay." Dean said plainly.
"Seriously?" Sam asked just as shocked as I was.
"Got to start sometime, right?" Dean asked looking from me to Sam.
The next day we went in the Impala to grab some food. I was stood outside the shop with Dean, leaning on the Impala.
"You wanna tell me what that was about in the motel room?" I asked watching the people walk by.
"What are you talking about?" Dean asked confused.
"Well the conversation you were stopping Sam from telling me?" I asked plainly.
"It's complicated Megan, now really isn't the time to get into it." Dean sighed. I nodded and turned to Dean.
"Then tell me why the sudden act of faith in Sam. I highly doubt you really trust his option to let her go." I said looking Dean dead in the eyes. He stared back at me with the poker face for a few seconds. He was thinking about something. I opened my mouth to say something else when Dean's phone rang. I groaned and turned back to watching the people walk by. I noticed Sam walk towards us with a shopping bag. He looked really happy to be trusted and I couldn't blame him. I smiled at Sam, knowing full well Dean didn't trust Sam as much as he stated.
"Bozeman. Right. Got it. Thanks." Dean said getting off the phone as Sam reached us. "That was Bobby. We'll hole up in Spokane tonight. We'll meet him tomorrow. Why don't you drive?" Dean asked Sam tossing him the keys to the Impala.
"You gonna punch me again?" Sam asked with a smirk. We drove back to the motel and I sat in the back silently. Thankfully Sam didn't pick up on it and I'm glad too because I wasn't sure what I would have said if he had asked me about it.
"Hey, why don't, uh- why don't you check us in? I got to hit the candy store." Dean said shaking his bottle of pills. "Doctor's orders."
"Sure." Sam sighed getting out of the car. I glanced at Dean in the rear view mirror before climbing out too. I knew Dean was up to something. I just wasn't sure what. Dean slide over and drove off.
"You two ok?" Sam asked as we booked in.
"Super. Why wouldn't we be?" I asked holding the shopping.
"No reason." Sam shrugged as we walked to the room.
"What were you going to tell me Sam?" I asked pausing at the room door.
"Megan I was mad-" Sam said making an excuse so he wouldn't tell me.
"Look Sam. I trust you ok, so I'm going to level here." I said plainly, Sam looked down at me confused. "I know Dean is lying to me. I know I killed people. I remembered. I just don't know why you guys just didn't kill me." I said looking into his green eyes. His eyes looked so similar to Dean's and yet at the same time completely different. They had been through a completely different type of pain. A different life of horrors. I know it sounds stupid to say I could see all that in his eyes, but I could. Sam took the bag from me and unlocked the door. We walked in and he set the bag down on the table. I closed the door behind us and paused waiting for an answer.
"He loves you." Sam said softly before turning to face me. "He wouldn't let any of us kill you. He wouldn't even let you kill yourself, and you tried." Sam explained. "He loved you so much, he couldn't face loosing you again."
"It's that simple?" I asked confused. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to think that I wasn't killed just because he loved me. Sure it's romantic as hell, but in the hunting world, it just isn't practical.
"Nothing in our life is. But that's what it breaks down to." Sam explained with a small shrug as if it was all he was going to tell.
"So why did he lie? Why did he say I didn't kill those people?" I asked confused shaking my head as I paced around a little trying to figure it all out in my mind.
"He probably didn't want to hurt you Megan. He still loves you." Sam said pulling me into a small hug.
"Thanks, for telling me the truth Sam." I said as we pulled out of the hug.
"We're like family. Of course I'll tell you the truth." Sam said with a small smile.
I still had a bad feeling Dean was going to do something stupid. Really stupid. I told Sam I needed some time alone to process it all and I went to my car. I used the GPS in Dean's phone and tracked him to a motel across town. As I pulled up to the place I spotted the Impala parked in the drive. My stomach rolled as I got a bad feeling.
"Just what are you doing here Dean?" I sighed climbing out and checking that I had my gun with me. I went to the reception and asked if they had seen a man like Dean. The clerk behind the desk told me what room number he was asking about and I thanked them. I searched for the number and spotted it on the second floor. The door looked open and I inwardly groaned slightly at the sight. I raced up the stairs and then slowly walked towards the door keeping silent as I pulled my gun. As I got closer I could hear voices talking.
"Sam sent you?" A woman's voice asked.
"Sam doesn't know I'm here." Dean replied.
"But he told you. My son-" The woman said and I knew it was the Amy woman Sam told us again. My gut hit the floor as I herd Dean reply.
"I know. I know. But people... They are who they are. No matter how hard you try, you are what you are. You will kill again." Dean said with a cold voice.
"I won't. I swear." Amy cried out. I sped up a little and reached the door as Dean talked again.
"Trust me, I'm an expert. Maybe in a year, maybe ten. But eventually, the other shoe will drop. It always does." Dean said as he stabbed her. "I'm sorry." Dean said softly and lowered her on the bed.
"What have you done?" I asked walking into the room as Dean pulled the knife out and wiped it. He turned to me plainly. He had the face of a cold stone killer and it took me a second not fight the urge to attack him.
"She needed to die Megan, it was only a matter of time before she killed again." Dean said looking me dead in the eyes. Something about his attitude, his determination that she would kill again, it hit a nerve. A big nerve.
"Really?" I asked firmly getting mad at Dean.
"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.
"And you know this how?" I asked tilting my head to one side.
"I just know." Dean said looking me in the eye. I couldn't believe his attitude, the way he played judge, jury and executioner.
"Then I got a question for you." I said biting back the anger in me, I just wanted to punch Dean in the face.
"What?" Dean asked coldly.
"Why the hell didn't you kill me? Why didn't you let me die? I killed people Dean! I killed children and women and you never once tried to kill me for it!" I snapped. I saw the blind panic in his eyes for a second before he composed himself again. The stone cold face returning.
"You... you're different." Dean stuttered.
"How? Because I married you? Does that give me the right to kill anyone I don't like the look of Dean?" I shouted throwing my arms in the air. "You should have killed me too. Or you should have just let her go! You hypocrite!" I growled, punching Dean in the face making him fall back a few steps. I didn't mean to punch Dean, but when I did, it felt good. A little too good.
"How was I meant to kill you?" Dean asked holding his jaw as he looked back at me. "I love you Megan. You are the only one in the world I have ever really loved! Tell me, how was I meant to let anyone take you away from me?"
"It wasn't your choice! I killed!" I shouted back as tears formed in both our eyes. I may not remember my feeling for Dean, but I knew I felt something for him now.
"I lost so much! I just..." Dean's voice broke as a tear rolled down his cheek. "How was I meant to live without you in my life? You are the only think that keeps me going. You are the only reason I wake in the morning. Bobby could do this without me. Sam? Sam is a wreck, he might just be better in a psychiatric ward. But you Megan, you are the only truly good thing in this crappy world. You." Dean said as his voice before weak and soft.
"We're hunters. We hunt the bad things... Dean I was the bad thing." I said holding back the tears I had in my eyes. "Sam is going to-"
"Sam isn't going to find out. You cant tell him Megan." Dean said walking over to me. I backed away shaking my head.
"Dean-" I stared to say.
"You can't. He doesn't need to know. He can't. He needs to think he can trust me. He needs to trust me." Dean pleaded with me.
"This is so wrong Dean." I said shaking my head, glancing at the body on the bed. "You can't keep this from him."
"I have to. We have to." Dean said plainly.
"I..." I said looking back over at him, Dean looked so lost and hurt. I felt bad for him. I felt... lost in the tidal wave emotions that were attacking me in that moment. "I'll... I wont tell him." I whispered surcoming to the feelings that were telling me that I needed to protect Dean.
"Thank you Megan." Dean said looking down in my eyes. I shook my head taking a deep breath.
"No. Don't thank me. I'm only keep this from Sam, because I'm scared it will push him over the edge if he finds out." I said firmly. "Now I'm leaving, going back to the motel. Just... just don't talk to me for a while." I said turning around and walking out the building as fast as I could.
I climbed into the Camero and broke down. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my body shook. My mind went into overdrive as I took in everything that just happened. Dean had killed someone because he was so sure she would kill again, yet he wouldn't kill me. He said he loved me, but how could I love someone who killed someone who was in the same situation as me. Not remembering anything was killing me. I needed to find a way to sort it all out. A way to remember everything or I needed to get far, far away from Dean.
So what do you guys think? Stinks right? Either way, just spend a few more seconds and review please? Thanks.