Part 22
Mark's eyes snapped open when he heard whimpers from somewhere nearby. He opened his eyes and saw his little brother clutch at his sheets, while whimpering and looking as if he was in pain. Mark hurriedly moved his chair closer and put his big hand on the thirteen-year-old's smaller and bandaged one. But when he touched it the kid pulled it away with a frightened scream. Mark jumped in shock but then grabbed the now flailing hand. The kid was panicking, whatever he was dreaming had to be terrifying.
"Hey, hey little buddy calm down", he said and pulled the kid into his arms and held him. The kid was still whimpering and trashing a bit in his arms. Whatever was scaring him wouldn't let him wake up.
"Come on little buddy", Mark whispered into his ear. "Wake up. You are safe now. There is no darkness anymore. You are not in that closet. The place is open and light. I'm here, can't you hear my voice? Come on little buddy open those chocolate orbs for me."
The kid whimpered again and clutched at Mark's shirt, but he seemed to calm down a bit because he wasn't as tense.
"That's it little buddy", Mark soothed and rocked the kid a bit to calm him even more. "Open those eyes and look at me."
The kid's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at Mark… and Mark felt a knife in his heart when he met those dark chocolate orbs. Last time he saw the kid there had been a glow in his eyes, even though he was sad, that showed a somewhat happy kid that felt safe… this was not it. The glow, or spark might be a better for for it, was gone. Those eyes had an insecure, scared and hurt look to them. This wasn't Wes that Mark held. This was Wesley, his eyes looked like they did when Mark first met him. The poor child had crawled back into himself during his time in that closet and God knows how long it would take to bring him back out again.
"Mark", Wesley asked in a whisper.
"Yeah little buddy, I'm here", Mark said and patted the boy's soft hair gently. "Don't you worry. You are safe now."
"…"
"What was that buddy?"
"Jesse locked me in."
"He locked you in? Why?"
"I don't remember", Wesley whispered in such a tiny voice that Mark nearly didn't hear it. The kid didn't even look at him. He was holding a hand to his mouth and the other he held on Mark's arm. He was looking at the wall opposite him and he was trembling like a leaf. Mark moved so that the kid was actually lying on him. Mark put the cover over both of them and held the boy close.
"You are safe now Wes", he said and rubbed the boy's back. "We found you."
"No one came", Wesley whispered brokenly and still in that barely hearable voice. "I screamed and screamed but no one came… Everyone just left me… I'm all alone…"
"No you are not alone", Mark said sternly. "You got me and the Warblers."
"They didn't come…" Wesley sobbed.
"In your dream or when you were in the closet?"
"I don't know", Wesley sobbed and Mark held him close as he cried. "It was so dark and cold… They locked me in…"
"Who locked you in", Mark asked confused. Jesse had been the only one to lock Wesley into that closet and according to him it had been due to Wesley's wish. But… it didn't add up. Now if Wesley seemed to be this scared of the dark and secluded places, why would he ask Jesse to lock him in? Maybe Jesse had misunderstood the whole thing. Maybe Wesley had asked him to just close the door and then go away, but Jesse took it as a wish to lock the door as well. Mark would have to ask Jesse about it, because this made no sense. He doubted Wesley would tell him something that made sense because like he said… he didn't remember.
"Who locked you in", Mark asked again when Wesley didn't answer.
"Grandma and grandpa", Wesley sobbed. "To hide me from her and her kids… They locked me in small dark rooms… no way out. They tortured me. They locked me away in the dark. They were ashamed of me… I'm a sin."
"No you are not a sin", Mark said sternly and Wesley startled in fright. "Sorry."
"Why do they hate me so much", Wesley whimpered. "What did I ever do to them? Why do they leave me alone in the dark? Why didn't the Warblers come?"
"They came buddy… it just took a while."
"I screamed and screamed but they didn't come." Wesley's sobs got harder and stronger. He couldn't speak anymore, he sobbed too hard. Mark didn't know what to say and once again got reminded of the first time he had "met" Wesley. He knew that the boy then had just needed someone to hold him. He had Wesley in his lap hugging him as the small child cried. Mark knew the kid was just scared after everything that had happened. But found himself yet again wondering when someone had actually just held Wesley. The boy was crying so badly it tore at Mark's heart. After a bit when the heartbreaking sobs weren't ebbing out Mark started to sing softly, changing the lyrics to fit:
Goodnight little buddy, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promise I will never leave you
Then you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight little buddy, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the questions you asked me
When we were watching that emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight little buddy, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die
That's how you and I will be
The singing didn't work this time and Wesley continued to cry and Mark watched him cry himself to sleep with a heavy heart. He would found out tomorrow what exactly had happened the past few days. Mark also found himself wishing that Jerry was there. Jerry would be the best comfort Wesley could ever get, but Jerry couldn't be there… not in the flesh anyway. Mark made a decision at that moment. He was going to call Jerry and have him record a video of himself talking to Wesley and then show the kid. Most likely it would help.
The next day Lucas, Alvaro, Otto, Nathan and Kim walked through the hospital their little friend had been taken too. Their little buddy had been dehydrated and had to be hooked to an IV. He had been unconscious all day yesterday, after they found him in that closet. Jesse had gotten a hard time from all of them for that.
Otto had been close to killing him whenever he saw him and Nathan would bump into him whenever they walked past each other. Lucas had told them to stop because that's not what their little brother would want them to act like. But Jesse still got comments about child abuse thrown at him.
The group talked calmly amongst themselves and soon reached their friend's room. Lucas knocked on the door before they stepped in and smiled when he came in.
"Hi Wes, Mark", he greeted and walked over. He had a smile on his face but it dropped when the younger boy looked up at him. Those eyes were not the eyes he'd gotten used to since school started. Where was the happy glow? Where was the sureness and strength they usually possessed? They were nearly lifeless… and full of fear, sadness and hurt. This was not Wes… this was Wesley.
The boys behind him had been laughing about something when they came in but their voices dies away, as did their smiles when they saw Wesley's eyes. He looked away from them and rubbed his arm with a bandaged hand. Lucas shook himself before walking over and sitting down at the foot of the bed. He put his hand on Wesley's ankle and smiled when the kid looked up at him.
"Hi there Shorty", he said. "How are you feeling?"
"Not too bad", Wesley said so low that Lucas almost missed it. After he said it he averted his eyes again. Lucas narrowed his own and looked at Mark. The 'giant' sighed and shook his head, telling Lucas he shouldn't ask. Lucas got the hint and smiled at Wesley, even though the boy didn't look at him.
"That's good", he said. "You have to get better soon because I can't stand one more study session with just Alvaro and Kim. They are making me nuts." He got no answer but Alvaro moved over to them and stood behind Lucas.
"Yeah you should've seen him Wes", he said happily. "I've never actually seen anyone go purple for real. Lucas looked like a plum."
"Told you he make stomach-hurt", Kim said and grinned. Lucas stared at him while Otto, Nathan, Alvaro and Mark laughed. Kim nodded at Wesley and Lucas followed his gaze and saw the kid's lips twitch slightly. Lucas smiled and jumped on the same train of thought Kim was on.
"Well you give me headaches with your bad grammar", he teased and Kim put a hand to his heart.
"My grammatics no bad", he said in mock offense.
"It's grammar", Alvaro corrected with a smirk. "Not grammatics."
"Details, details", Kim said and waved with one hand.
"It's the little details that are vital", Nathan piped up.
"Stop quoting people", Otto said to him. "You've been throwing around quotes all day!"
"I thought Mitch would die when you asked: 'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me'", Kim said and smirked.
It had been hilarious to see every boy in the cafeteria turn to stare at the hugging duo, where Mitch was getting redder in the face by each second. It didn't get better when Nathan put his hands on Mitch's butt and pulled him so close that they were hip to hip and then said:
"I believe it's the second one."
Mark guffawed at that and Nathan grinned happily. Wesley though didn't move a muscle. He kept looking so… so… so small and vulnerable. Lucas bit his lip before squeezing Wesley's ankle a bit while he said:
"Wes look at me." His tone was stern, but not scolding and Wesley looked up at him and his eyes were sad. "What is it? What's wrong Shorty?"
"Nothing", Wesley whispered and averted his gaze but this time Lucas would have nothing of it. He moved so he was sitting beside Wesley instead. He put two fingers underneath his chin and forced his head up a bit.
"Look at me", Lucas said in a commanding tone. When Wesley still averted his gaze he put in more authority in his voice. "Wes, look at me." Slowly Wesley looked into his eyes and Lucas saw all the hurt there, it practically screamed.
"What is going on", Lucas asked gently. "Tell me, what is wrong?"
"Nothing", Wesley whispered again and averted his gaze yet again.
"It doesn't look like nothing since you can't even look at me", Lucas said. "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? You haven't acted like this around me since… I made that mistake."
"What mistake", Kim whispered to Alvaro and the Latino told him in whispers what had happened last year and Kim listened closely.
"I told myself I never wanted you to have a reason to look at me like that ever again", Lucas went on, ignoring the discussion behind him. He was remembering Wesley's words to Jerry when they went to him in Alvaro's room. He remembered Wesley ask Jerry:
"Where were you when I needed you", the kid asked drowsily, obviously having a fever as well.
"At the wrong place", Jerry said and pulled the kid into his arms hugging him. "I'm so sorry kiddo, I should have been there. I should have been there."
He could feel the boy shake in his arms as the boy cried. Then he felt the bed lower a bit as Mark sat down and put his arms around Jerry and Wesley. Otto and Nathan followed suit and Lucas bit his lip and walked over slowly.
"Shorty", he asked carefully and Wesley looked up at him with red eyes. "I'm really sorry. You are not weak. I was wrong, so wrong. Please forgive me."
Wesley only looked away and cried so hard his body jolted at every sob. The boys looked at each other confused. Jerry tightened his grip on the boy slightly before letting go.
"Lucas", he said and the younger boy understood. He took Jerry's place and hugged Wesley close feeling tears escape his eyes as well.
"I'm sorry", he mumbled into Wesley's hair. "I'm so sorry Shorty."
"I… I… I thought I could trust you", Wesley whimpered. "But… but…"
"You can trust me Shorty. I swear, after today you will never have any reason to doubt that."
"Y-y-you promise", Wesley asked looking up at him.
"I swear it", Lucas said smiling.
"What's the capital of Albania?"
"Tirana."
Lucas thought he understood what was up and sighed before saying:
"Shorty you can still trust me. It hasn't changed. I will always be there for you when you need me." Now Wesley looked at him with big sad eyes.
"Then where were you", he asked, his voice cracking in grief. "Any of you when I needed you? Where were you when I screamed your names over and over again? Where were you when I was scared? Where were you when I was panicking? Where were you when I got hurt? Where were you when I needed you?" He started sobbing and Lucas pulled him into a tight hug. "I needed you and you weren't there! I needed all of you but you didn't come! I was so afraid! I screamed and cried and hit at the door and panicked and screamed and screamed and screamed… where were you?"
Lucas didn't know what to say but he didn't have to say anything because Kim said it for him.
"We were looking for you", he said and Wesley looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "We was out there looking for you, but in the wrong spots."
"Were and places", Nathan, Otto and Alvaro corrected automatically.
"Same thing!" Kim objected before turning back to Wesley. "We were", he glared at the trio. "out looking for you. We just looked in the wrong places." He glared at the trio again. "Believe me grabben, it means kiddo Otto, we would never leave you there just so that."
"Work on your grammar", Nathan teased.
"Shut up."
Wesley looked at the group around him before burying his face in Lucas' shoulder. Lucas only held him and rubbed his back. Mark sighed.
"Wes is claustrophobic", he explained and the boys looked at him. "And he hates being locked in, I figure that much anyway. His gramps and grams used to lock him into small, dark rooms to hide him from his stepmom and her kids."
Kim gaped in shock he had no idea of Wesley's past after all. Nathan grabbed him by the arm and pulled him outside to tell him Wesley's story, while the others focused on the small teenager.
"Oh when I get my hands on those fucking bastards", Alvaro growled darkly and clenched his hands into fists. "How dare they do that to a little kid?! It's bloody child abuse!"
"Not when the child in question doesn't exist", Wesley mumbled and Lucas stared at him in confusion. Wesley mumbled out an explanation.
His dad had him named Wesley Montgomery and had had lawyers hide his identity away so that only when Isaac Montgomery was dead would his sons and daughters be informed that they had a half-brother. Wesley had only existed in their life as a Montgomery-cousin that were orphaned. If anyone wanted to charge the Montgomery's for child-abuse they would have to sign in his name and they would find… that the boy didn't existed.
There was only one Montgomery with a name on W and that was a foster child back in the 1950's. Wesley didn't, unless you dug very deep, exist. Lucas, Alvaro, Mark and Otto were shocked and disgusted to hear what Wesley's dad had done to keep him separated from his family, to single him out… to cut him out of his perfect life.
Mark knew that if he had been in this kind of position he would have ended his life long ago. He would never be able to stand what this boy had been going through since he learned how to talk, to walk… to be. Mark came from a loving family and he couldn't understand how someone couldn't love their own child. It was wrong at so many levels.
Wesley was such a sweet kid that it was hard to not like him and when he had this broken aura around him, every single mature being in this world wanted to care for him. Mark had seen it, Ma Trixie at the Bean was drawn to him like bees to flowers and Carmichael and Ms. Lincoln were also drawn to him. Everyone wanted to help him. Because he was a sweet kid and he deserved love and care more than any other troubled soul at Dalton.
Mark had decided long ago that Wesley was the strongest person he'd ever met and what he'd found out just now didn't make that belief waver at all. Wesley was so strong, it was just a shame he couldn't see it himself.
Lucas may not have the most loving parents in the world but he knew that they loved him, truly they did… deep down. He had his siblings though. He couldn't understand how someone would just drop their kid and treat him like garbage. Wesley was a living being God damn it! Lucas nearly wanted to cry, that was how angry he was. Life wasn't fair and especially not to this poor boy.
Lucas wanted to track down his grandparents and lock them into dark and tiny rooms so that they would understand how Wesley had felt all those times. Lucas was sure that no grownup he knew or any child his own age, older or younger would stand what Wesley had been forced to endure. It wasn't fair on him and when Lucas realized there had been no way for anyone to help him because he didn't exist unless his father Isaac Montgomery wanted him to h nearly threwup.
Lucas had sometimes wished that he could be a lawyer but now… now that he heard what some low-life, blood-sucking lawyers had done for money he wanted to throw up! Some fucking lawyer just agreed to make a boy invisible to the state! Lucas wondered if Carmichael knew this about Wesley. Lucas knew that Carmichael really cared for the boy, it was obvious in the way he looked at him. Carmichael had told Jerry and Mark about how he got a lot of money out of Mr. Montgomery so that Wesley could have a great life at Dalton. Carmichael wanted him to feel at home, to feel loved and to be cared about. He had proofed that over and over again and Lucas was glad for that, it gave him a bit hope for mankind.
Alvaro wanted to punch something. He was so angry. How dared someone hurt his little pipsqueak like this?! True Alvaro and Wesley had started as enemies but that day in the rain… when Wesley was attacked… had woken something in Alvaro Sanchez that had only been there for his brothers before. He remembered that day clearly and exactly how he had been thinking.
Alvaro Sanchez was confused. After seeing the tiny Warbler run into the foyer and falling on the wet floor he had reacted on instinct and had helped him up. It was a little kid after all. But he still didn't know what possessed him to go out and look for the kid, he had left the school area alone after all and he never did that. Alvaro hadn't expected to find him in the park getting beaten up by some punks from Westerville middle school. Alvaro had no idea of what came over him, maybe it was the fact that Montgomery was a Dalton student and Dalton students stuck together or maybe it was the fact that he was just a kid that had been attacked by bigger boys and that was just wrong, who would want to hurt a kid? That sent a jolt through him… he had hurt the kid now resting in his arms.
Alvaro shuddered at the thought. He had been angry, worried and scared that day. He had been thinking about his own little brothers that day and what he would do for them because they were family. Alvaro sighed and looked at the child that was now in Lucas' arms.
"What is it about me that makes people despise me so much", Wesley mumbled.
"What do you mean", Lucas asked. "We don't despise you!"
"But why do I feel so alone then", Wesley asked sadly. "I feel like this place going to be ripped away from me too. As soon as I start to feel safe something happens and I lose it… Why do I always have to feel alone?" That made Alvaro angry, not at Wesley but at how unfair it was that he had to feel like it.
"When I was littler", Wesley whispered. "I dreamt to find someone that wanted me in his or her family… but as soon as I think I find that someone I lose them again… Is it a dream that's too big… should I dream smaller… should I stop feeling?"
Alvaro knew this was getting dangerous, Wesley's thoughts were dangerous and dark and would only lead to hurt for him and the boys around him.
"You feel abandoned", Lucas asked.
"You didn't come", Wesley whispered again. "I was scared… no one came."
"We came Wes", Otto said and hurried over to the two. "We nearly came too late but we came. We will always come for you, no matter where you are. We need you."
"What about what I need", Wesley asked and looked at him with tearful eyes.
"All you need is us and you have us", Lucas said. "You staying at Dalton would be the best for all of your brothers in the Warblers."
"What about what's best for me", Wesley asked looking at him with those sad eyes.
"We really think it's best for you to stay with us Wes", Otto said softly. "We really do care about you, we feel for you and with you. We feel sad when you're upset. We feel angry when someone hurts you. We feel worried when we can't find you. We feel happiness when you're happy."
"What about how I feel", Wesley asked and was looking a bit intimidated when all these boys crowded around him.
"We feel that you need us and that we need you", Mark said calmly. "It's how it's supposed to be among brothers. You are supposed to feel that you need someone at times and feel safe."
"But every time I do", Wesley whispers in a small voice. "Something happens and I'm not safe anymore."
"That's because we mess up mostly", Mark said with a sigh. "But brothers mess up Wes, but they are always there to pick up the pieces. Let us pick them up Wes."
"But… what about…" Wesley began but trailed off. He snuggled closer into Lucas' embrace and let tears slip down his cheeks. Lucas rubbed his arm. The discussion took an odd turn but he didn't care. Wesley needed them right now and he wasn't the only one that saw it.
Alvaro had made up his mind, he knew how to help. He could fix it, all he had to do was show Wesley that he wasn't alone in his dream. Nearly all boys in the Warblers and some outside felt abandoned in one way or another and looked for a place where they belonged and where they could feel safe and wanted. They were a pack of brothers and Alvaro was lucky to be part of that. Wesley was his little brother. He looked over at the bed and looked at the kid softly and did something he'd never done before. He sang:
It's more than you. It is more than me.
No matter what we are, we are a family. – Wesley looked up at him in confusion, Lucas, Otto and Mark were also staring at him.
This dream is for all of us, - He gestured to the group.
This one can be real.
And you can't stop us now, - He took Wesley's hand softly.
Because of how ya feel.
It's more than you. It is more than me.
Whatever dreams we have, they're for the family.
We're not alone anymore, now there are others there. – He let go and backed away and showed at the other boys with his hands.
And that dream's big enough
For all of us to share.
So don't think you're going,
You're not going anywhere.
You're staying and taking your share.
And if you get afraid again, I'll be there. – Alvaro took Wesley's hand and smiled. He hadn't noticed Kim and Nathan returning but when the chorus came again they all, save Wesley, sang.
We are a family, like a giant tree.
Branching out towards the sky.
We are a family, we are so much more,
Than just you and I.
We are a family like a giant tree,
Growing stronger, growing wiser
We are growing free
We need you
We are a family.
Wesley looked at him before moving his comforter aside and got up. He walked over to Alvaro and hugged him. Alvaro smiled and hugged him while he sang:
You're staying and taking your share.
And if you get afraid again, I'll be there
Nathan and the others joined into the hug and sang with Alvaro:
We are a family, like a giant tree.
Branching out towarsd the sky.
We are a family, we are so much more,
Than just you and I.
We are a family like a giant tree,
Growing stronger, growing wiser
We are growing free
We need you
We are a family.
When he stopped singing the only sound in the room was from Wesley's sobs and the older boys all moved to him and Alvaro. Otto and Nathan crouched down to hug Wesley while Lucas, Kim and Mark put their arms around Alvaro and Wesley at the same time. They just stood there, hugging.
TBC
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