Chapter Four:

Three weeks later, the NYPD officially closed the investigation into criminal wrongdoing by Kate and Vikram in exchange for her formal resignation. Vikram Singh was never found, having disappeared the day before Kate was suspended. Kate moved into the loft, making an agreement with herself that she would keep it for one year in the hope that Rick might return, or it would be sold after that time.

Alexis called her a few days after her 'resignation' from the NYPD and asked her to take over as president of Richard Castle Investigations. Kate already held a percentage of the business as part of the dissolution agreement. Alexis was in her final semester at Columbia and had just been accepted at UCLA medical school in the fall. The timing of the offer seemed a little too perfect and she could only guess that Jim was somehow part of it all. Regardless, she seized the opportunity.

Hayley was their only full-time employee and handled the lion's share of the work. Kate was sure that Hayley had followed through on her threat and had provided the NYPD with the evidence that lead to her dismissal. Their first meeting was awkward until Hayley assured her that the evidence she had was never sent to anyone at the NYPD. Rick had demanded that it was to be destroyed as soon as he learned about it.

Their first couple of months working together were strained as each had their own style of investigation. Granted the majority of their work was background checks and cheating spouses, but they occasionally picked up a case that required them to use their skills as investigators.

Kate tried to use Hayley as a sort of go-between with Martha and Alexis, hoping to find out anything she could about Rick. Neither woman would divulge anything about Rick regarding his whereabouts. Kate knew that Rick must still be writing as she'd had no contact at all from Gina or Paula. She suspected that they also knew where he was, but would never tell her out of loyalty to him. 'He seemed to have no problem getting loyalty from all of the women in his life except the one that he needed the most.' She thought to herself.

Beckett gradually fell into a routine of sorts. Each morning after her run, she'd take a quick shower and then scan the Internet for any mention of Castle. So far all of the sightings were false alarms. She kept a go bag by the door ready to travel at a moment's notice. Every Friday, she, Lanie and Hayley would meet for drinks at The Olde Haunt.

Things had deteriorated between her and the Medical Examiner not long after Rick's disappearance. Alexis had told Lanie everything that she knew about why Castle had left and Kevin had confided in her before he asked for a transfer. Alexis didn't know about Hayley's investigation of Kate's after hours activities as Martha had asked the PI not to tell her.

A heartfelt apology and a promise that she'd get the help she needed to fight her obsessive behavior with seeking justice helped start a dialog between the two women that were once best friends. Thanks to the generous settlement from her divorce, she could afford the best help that money could buy. She started seeing Dr Burke three times a week for the first month. The initial sessions were painful and Kate threatened to quit nearly as many times as the psychiatrist threatened to drop her as a patient. Kate wouldn't admit that her quest for justice at all costs was an addiction and Burke could not help her until she could admit that she has a problem.

"We're you happy with your life before you received the call from Mr Singh?" Burke questions.

"Of course I was. I was starting my new job. Rick and I loved each other..." Kate replies as if Burke has asked a stupid question.

"You say that you were happy and everything was good... So why did you feel the need to lie about the call to your husband?"

"I was trying to protect him." Kate answers matter-of-factly.

"Did Mr Singh tell you that you were in danger, that your husband was in danger?"

"No. But he told me that they had killed my old team with the Attorney General and he needed my help."

"How long had it been since you worked in the AG's office?"

"Almost two years."

"Why did you assume that this had something to do with your mother's case?"

"I didn't at first. I was simply responding to a distress message from an analyst of the AG's office..."

"Why did you feel that you had to address this request personally? Doesn't the NYPD have regulations regarding such things?"

"Of course they do, but I worked with those people. They had become my friends..."

"We're they Kate? How many times did you have contact with any of them after you were fired? Did you ever question why Mr Singh would contact you and not someone in the FBI office in New York?"

"Not really. He said that he couldn't trust anyone."

"Why would he trust you? You said that you didn't know him."

"I don't know."

Burke sighs and takes a calming breath. He can see that Kate can't, or won't see that she willingly allowed herself to be manipulated by Vikram. "Did you ever think that he was manipulating you? Preying upon your belief in conspiracies in the government because of your mother's case?"

Kate considers Burke's question and immediately rejects it. "No, he had a document that had tied Bracken to this mysterious LocSat."

"So LocSat was tied to your mother's murder?"

"I don't think so. At least not directly."

"So why did you feel compelled to take on this case?"

"Because they killed my team."

"But they weren't your team Kate. You hadn't contacted or worked with them in nearly two years. Could they have worked on a case that got them killed that had absolutely nothing to do with you or your mother's case?"

"Of course they could have... But Vikram told me that LocSat had ties to Bracken..."

"So you feel that it's your duty to take on any case that has any connection to Bracken?"

"Of course not. But Vikram said..." Kate stops herself from talking realizing how she had been manipulated by the analyst that she had never met before that day.

Burke hopes that Kate is starting to connect the dots and see what she has done. "So you chose to believe a total stranger with no proof that anything he said was true... Deciding to lie to your husband and coworkers about what you were doing?"

Kate sits there in silence, unwilling to admit that she allowed herself to be manipulated by a total stranger that preyed upon her fears.

The doctor can sense that she is shutting down and decides a different tact is needed. "So Kate, let's assume that there was a connection between LocSat and your mother's murder... How many years did it take to bring Bracken to justice?"

"Fifteen."

"And by your own admission, this LocSat is even more powerful and better connected than Bracken?"

"Yes."

"So you were willing to put your life on hold for another fifteen years to bring this LocSat to justice?"

Kate had never considered that it could take that long. She was sure that with the resources available to her as a NYPD Captain and Vikram's help, they would find LocSat in days... Or maybe a couple of weeks... Or a month or two at most. Then she could resume her life... Or at least that was the plan...

"You said that Rick had no idea what you were doing... Didn't you think that he would figure it out eventually?" Burke asks, hoping that something will start to connect.

"Yes."

"How did you think that he would react once he found out?"

"I don't know. I assumed that he'd be upset..."

"So you assumed that you could lie to him, leave him without an explanation as to why, or for how long and he would just wait?"

She realizes just how ridiculous it sounds when she hears Dr Burke ask her the question. How arrogant it made her seem that she expected everyone to put their life on hold while she went off on her quest for justice. "I don't know... I hoped he would understand..."

"How would he understand if he had no idea what you were doing or why? Were you surprised that he filed for divorce, or that he waited as long as he did?"

"Of course I was shocked! I loved him and I thought he would wait..." The words are out of her mouth as she realizes just how conceited she sounds.

"Do you think that things would have been different if you would have explained why you had to go?"

"I couldn't. He would have wanted to help me if he knew. Rita warned me that if I pursued this case, anyone who died's blood would be on my hands..."

"Yet you chose to ignore her warning... You've never mentioned this Rita before. Who is she?"

"She claimed to be Rick's stepmother... She actually saved Vikram and I from the team of mercenaries that were trying to kill us... She knew that the suicide of the supervising agent from the AG's office was a coverup... She told me that she had been tracking down LocSat for months... Told me to let her handle it and go home to my husband..."

Burke is stunned by the revelation that Castle's step mother is some type of government agent, but keeps his demeanor calm. "Yet you chose to ignore her warnings. Why?"

"I didn't trust her to follow through and bring LocSat to justice. My team deserved justice."

"So you chose to put total trust in a man you'd never seen before who offered no proof of anything he claimed, yet chose to ignore the warnings of a woman that had saved your life?"

"You make me sound pretty stupid when you say it like that..."

"It wasn't stupidity Kate. It was hubris. Mr Singh preyed upon your desire to seek justice at all costs by feeding your ego that you were the only one that could avenge their deaths... Your ego told you that you could bring down LocSat quickly. Your ego told you that your husband would wait as long as it took for you to complete your quest. Your ego told you that everything would return to the way it was when it was all over..."

Burke looks at his watch in frustration. "Our time is up for this session. Think about what we've talked about today..."

By the end of the first month both sides felt that real progress was being made. The number of weekly sessions was reduced to two per week for the second month and reduced again to once per week from then on. Kate learns that she has a type of obsessive compulsive disorder that was triggered by her mother's murder. Her becoming a cop was a way of channeling her obsession in a positive manner and it was actually rewarded. Montgomery had seen the signs and had used it to help her advance in her career. He kept her focused on finding justice for others rather than her mother. Of course, he had an ulterior motive for keeping her away from the case.

She realizes through her sessions with Burke that Castle had inadvertently became the catalyst that sent her spiraling out of control. Much like the old saying 'one drink is too many and a million isn't enough', Rick's secret investigation of Johanna's murder would be what started her descent into the dark that nearly took her life. She resisted the temptation and his offer to assist her by sending him away. She was trying to protect herself and it almost worked. But then they caught the Coonan case and her defenses started to unravel... Castle unwittingly was her enabler, supporting her compulsion.

Kate never gave up hope that if she could just see Castle, she could win him back. This remained the one point of contention between her and Burke as he thought that she should accept the fact that she may never see him again. That losing him was the cost of her compulsive behavior and start anew.