Hey everyone thanks for all the great reviews from the last chapter. I know updates are hit and miss with me and I'm sorry. I still love writing this story but I'm finding it hard. First I went through loosing someone, and then, ironically, I've just broke up with my partner of seven years. So it's a struggle and I'm trying to put it my own emotions into this chapter but I've never gone through what the characters go through.
Also I was in a bit of a rush updating my last chapter that I forgot to say the scene in my last chapter, Dean and Megan dancing, was given to me by Ladysunshine6 who suggested it. She needs all the props for it!
Well here is the new chapter- enjoy and remember to review pretty please.
I sat in my Camaro fallowing the guys down a rainy road in the middle of the night. I hadn't really talked to Dean since he walked out on me in the house. I honestly didn't know what to say to him. He wanted me to talk to him and there just wasn't words. I couldn't describe Purgatory to him because I could barely wrap my head around it myself. It had been months since I returned and remembered everything; yet I still couldn't bring myself to really understand what happened to me down there. The nightmares were still there, every night I closed my eyes I felt them waiting for me. It meant I still wasn't sleeping much, just enough to get by with. The tension between me and Dean had reached a level I don't think we'd face before. We barely looked at each other, only talked when we absolutely had to. I mean you wouldn't think we were married. Sam had noticed, of course Sam had noticed, and in his own way he was trying to help.
"So are we far out?" I sighed watching the car in front, my thumb lightly drumming on the steering wheel. I felt tense, since my last fight with Dean it felt like I couldn't even relax anymore. I just wanted so badly to go back to the way things were. I just wanted to close my eyes and know nothing was going to jump out at me. I just wanted to know I could relax without tearing something apart or running for the hills. I just wanted Dean to wrap his arms around me and make me feel like everything was going to be ok. But he didn't. It really was taking its toll on me.
"An hour or so. You read the newspaper article?" Sam asked down the line, his tone was hushed so I guessed Dean was actually asleep for once. I actually smiled, just for a beat. Sam had Lucy popping in now and again to say hello. I had Leviathans and Purgatory haunting my dreams. And Dean? He had the guilt of the world on his shoulders, he was blaming himself for everything that had happened; including Bobby's death. The guilt was eating him up from the inside out and everyone close knew it. I was thankful he was getting a little shut eye. He needed the rest.
"Yeah, missing hands and feet, and that symbol. I'd say it was our kind of case." I replied knowing that working a case was better then sitting on our backsides waiting for the next Leviathan attack.
"Majority rule then..." Sam sighed out, he sounded annoyed and I knew exactly why.
"Is he still trying to argue it's a goose-chase?" I asked letting out a heavy sigh. Dean was trying to make us work one angle, and one alone. He was getting obsessive over it all, and in all honesty it was scaring me a little. I was scared his fixation was going to get us all killed.
"He wants to find Dick." Sam answered softly, and I knew he was looking over at Dean. "We all do." He added just above a whisper as I nodded in my car. I knew we'd get Dick. We would. But it was going to take time and a hell of a lot of planning. Two things Dean wasn't found of at the best of times.
"I know Sam. We will get him, but we need to keep working in the mean time." I answered watching the rain fall hard against the cars. There was a pause down the line as we drove in silence for a few minutes.
"You gonna tell me what the pair of you are fighting over this time?" Sam asked softly, I could just imagine his puppy dog eyes as he looked at me in the rear view mirror. I let out a heavy sigh as I shook my head. I was defeated, inside I just felt defeated about it all.
"I don't even know anymore Sam," I sighed out just above a whisper, shaking my head and letting out a bitter laugh. "All we do is fight anymore." I scoffed bitterly just above a whisper as my eyes stated to well up slightly.
"You know he loves you, right?" Sam asked as I fought the lump in my throat. I was starting to wonder if love was enough to keep us together anymore.
"I love him too." I whimpered as I heard Dean moving in the seat next to him.
"Alright, well when we get there let's pull into the motel and head straight back out. Sound good?" Sam asked quickly changing his tone. I heard Dean moving around at the side of him, waking up and grumbling slightly. I cleared my throat and brushed roughly at my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Yeah, Sam. I get he's up. Bye." I muttered hanging up and watching the movement in the car in font. I saw the pair glancing at each other and Dean shrugging before Sam slapped him with a newspaper. I noticed a few moments later Dean turn and glance, making sure that I was still following them. I let out a heavy sigh as I tapped my thumbs against the steering wheel. It felt like we were breaking apart, and neither of us knew how to fix it.
We got to the motel, booked in two separate rooms. I decided I wanted my space from Dean and Sam. It physically hurt with the looks Dean was giving me. I was in my room, grabbing some clothes to change into when someone knocked on my door. I walked over and opened the door to find Dean stood there, he actually looked surprised that I answered.
"Um, can I come in?" He asked nervously, his eyes darting away from mine instantly. He couldn't even bring himself to look at me.
"Free world..." I huffed leaving the door open and walked over to my bag of clothes. I heard Dean close the door behind him and let out a heavy sigh. The tension was there, hanging over both our heads. I carried on as if nothing was wrong and routed through my bag as I heard him walk over to me. My heart raced as I heard his footsteps towards me. A part of me was just waiting for the next fight to start.
"Lost something?" Dean asked in his usual cocky tone, standing at the foot of my bed. I glanced up and noticed how awkward he suddenly looked, his hands were tucked into his pockets, his shoulders hunched a little, that cocky grin fading away. His eyes skirted around the room and avoided me as much as possible. It hurt that he couldn't even look me in the eyes, not anymore.
"No, just getting some clothes to change into." I clarified standing up straight. "Sam said he wanted to hit this thing running." I added feeling the awkwardness build between us.
"Yeah that''s Sammy, work, work, work..." Dean joked flatly as he let out another small sigh. The silence between us built to deafening levels as we just looked at each other. We both knew we were treading on thin ice, neither of us were really will to break it. For all we knew, it would break us too. I tried to catch Dean's eye to make him explain why he had shown up but every time I managed to look into his eye he would avoid my gaze like the plague. After five minuets of silently trying to get him to talk I let out a small sigh.
"Dean, what, um... what do you want?" I asked softly, turning fully to face him. Dean scratched the back of his neck before letting out a heavy sigh and shook his head.
"What do I want?" He muttered and I felt the tension suddenly build in the room. "What do I want Megan? I'll tell you what I want." Dean grunted as his eyes met mine. I wanted to look away from that fire that burnt in his green eyes. I wanted to move, run and hide away from how small he was making me feel. But I didn't. I just stood there, head up, looking dead into those burning green orbs I had once fallen madly in love with. "I want my wife to talk to me. I want her to treat this like a relationship. I want her to stop pushing me away. I want to help her. That's what I want Megan." Dean ground out his words as I notice the tears form in his eyes. "I can't- I can't deal with loosing her too." He bit out as a single tear rolled down his cheek. I nodded feeling the fear, the vulnerability, the anger wash from him to me. I gasped at the raw pain he was, for once, letting me in. It killed me seeing Dean hurting so badly, all I wanted to do was take all the pain away.
"Dean, how do I...?" I bit back the lump in my throat as I stood looking into his eyes. He was scoffing, shaking his head like he did every time I tried to explain myself. I bit my lip and started again. "I want you to talk to me about Bobby. I want to help you get through this. I see you drinking all the time, I mean this is probably the first time I've seen you without a drink in your hands since we- since he went." I cried out shaking my head a little. "You think its painful watching me? Baby I am watching the one man in this world I love more than life itself destroy himself and there's... there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it..." I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. I roughly brushed them away as I felt the anger rise up from Dean. That thin ice we were walking on gave way under my heavy words.
"Me?! You want to push this all back onto me?!" Dean snapped, slamming his fist onto the table near by. I actually jumped as he turned back to me and it was clear the rage was all he was feeling. "You came back to me broken! You came back and all this... all the demons in your head came back with you!" Dean yelled pointing to his own head. "I tried- I tried to make you leave, keep you damn safe! But NO! You wanted to stay! I wanted to help, I just wanted to help you! You pushed me away! The moment you came back!" Dean rushed forward and grabbed hold of my shoulders roughly, shaking me as he almost screamed in my face. "YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING ME AWAY!" There was a plead in the screaming, a plead to make things the way they were before all this started.
"I CAN'T MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND!" I screamed back as he grunted, letting go of me. I dropped the clothes and stumbled backwards into a table. Dean turned back, the fire burning in his eyes, before walking over to the wall, punching it hard.
"TRY!" He screamed turning back to me fully, the hole in the wall easy to see, his knuckles red and bloody. I opened my mouth to answer when the door opened and Sam rushed in looking utterly confused.
"Guys? What the hell?! I could hear you in my room." Sam cried out perplexed, taking in the whole scene in a heartbeat. His eyes darted from me, to Dean, to the smashed hole in the wall. "Are you ok?" Sam asked softer, the question out to either of us. I glanced over to Dean, my heart sinking as I saw the look he gave me. He was looking at me like he didn't even know who I was anymore. The tears hit my eyes as I looked at his bloody knuckles.
"Super Sam! Just Super!" Dean bit out sarcastically as he glared at me. I didn't have to be looking into his eyes to feel the glare he was giving me. Dean shook his head and stormed out of the room, shoulder barging Sam as he past him
"DEAN! Dean wait please!" I begged calling after him as I raced to the door. By the time I got to the door he was already gone. I cursed under my breath as the tears fell down my cheeks again. I felt Sam walk up behind me, his soothing influence washing over me.
"He just needs to cool down. It'll be ok." Sam soothed as he pulled me into a hug, holding me close to his chest. I sobbed into his chest, it felt like my heart was breaking and I didn't know what to do.
"It wont be Sam." I admitted wiping my eyes as I looked up at him. "Me and Dean, I just, I don't think we can be ok... I don't know how to fix it." I admitted feeling a chasm open up within me. This was the start of the end for us. I knew it was just a matter of time before it was over, that there was no more me and Dean. That thought it scared me more than anything I had ever faced in my life. More than Leviathans, more than Death, more than any God or creature that made things go bump in the night. Being without Dean, knowing there was no way to fix it, it terrified me.
We got changed into our suits and I sat in the back of the car in silence as we drove to the morgue. Dean wouldn't even look at me, and I just knew... It was cutting me up inside knowing how much we were hanging by a thread. I tried to push all thoughts of me and Dean out of my head as we reached the morgue. I just wanted to focus on the case. Good old O'Connor family values again- work to forget everything. I was surprised to find the forensic officer to still be in when we got there, when he explained a fresh body had just come in it made sense. He pulled out the body of the latest victim. Sure enough his hands and feet were missing and there was a symbol craved into his chest.
"The latest, but probably not the last. You guys always work this late?" The officer asked as we all stood around the body. I looked at the body, trying to ignore the smell of death that suddenly invaded my senses. It was never easy to smell, but my wolf powers seemed to be all over the place. I blamed it on my relationship with Dean throwing me off balance.
"Ugh, hours suck. But, uh, great benefits package." Dean lied his arse off like a pro. And there was Dean, totally ignoring the fact that we had argued at all, in his own way he was throwing himself into anything but dealing with us too.
"Oh yeah?" The forensics officer asked genuinely interested in the benefits package.
"Yeah 10% co-pay on all drugs." Dean added as I glanced at Sam raising an eyebrow. Both me and Sam shared a silent conversation of who was going to make Dean shut up.
"Seriously?" The forensics officer asked sounding sceptical. Dean in his reply simply smirked and nodded. "Oh, but just generic, right?" The officer asked just as sceptical.
"No, no. Name brands are cool." Dean lied as I glanced at Sam again. We were both sharing the same annoyed look.
"Oh." The forensics officer nodding impressed.
"Yeah." Dean nodded as I just rolled my eyes. Sam cleared his throat and gave his big brother a small glare to which Dean just shrugged.
"So. What's our boy here weigh?" Sam asked drawing the attention back to the body that laid in front of us all.
"Uh. A buck ninety. Thrown against a wall so hard it buckled. Based on the blood flow at the crime scene, the hands and feet were cut off while he was still alive, just like the others. The killer wanted him to suffer." The forensics officer explained looking up at all three of us.
"And all vics are male, right, with the same kind of, uh, artwork as this?" Dean asked waving a hand over the craved mark in the centre of the guys chest.
"Yeah. Identical." The forensics officer explained as I just nodded. The symbol was like a stick man with all four limbs stretched out, extended longer than the body with a line through the face to where the genitals, where a small plus sign was added. I tried to study the symbol more, I wasn't sure, but I thought I had seen it before. I just couldn't place it. As I studied it Sam took a picture on his phone.
"Any DNA left at any of the scenes?" I asked looking up and racking my brains. The forensics officer gave me a small smile and nodded.
"All of them. One before this, the guy bit the attacker. Still had a chunk of flesh in his teeth when he came in. That's about as good as it gets." The forensics officer explained as he walked us over to his computer.
"Right." Dean nodded with a hum as he walked behind me. Just having Dean stood behind me made my whole body stiffen up. The tension between us, no matter how hard we tried to fake it, was permanently there.
"Do we know who it matches?" I fallowed up my question, hoping the DNA could point us in the right direction. That's it O'Connor, just keep working...
"We do not." The forensics officer grunted hitting a button on the keyboard and bringing up a scree that said "Sample Rejected. No Known Genetic Markers", I read it and screwed up my face. "The samples were rejected. The genetic markers don't match anything we've ever seen." The forensics officer went on to explain.
"Didn't match any person in the database?" Dean tried to clarify as he walked round the other side of Sam, glancing at the screen as confused as I was.
"No, I mean they don't match anything human." The forensics officer explained utterly confused.
"No way the samples could have been tampered with?" I checked just in case as Sam and Dean shared a look.
"No, I took these samples myself." The forensics officer explained as I just looked at the others.
"Hmm." Dean replied looking at Sam. We said thanks to the forensics officer and walked out of the police station, Sam was busy looking at his phone as Dean pulled his tie loose.
"I'll admit it could be in the general vicinity," Dean opened the door as all three of us walked out. "of the ballpark of our kind of thing." Dean was trying his hardest to not make this a case.
"Yeah, uh, didn't match anything human usually seals the deal for me. I don't know, I've never seen this symbol before." Sam explained as he frowned at his phone. I went of my tip toes and glanced at the phone.
"I think, I have, but I can't remember where." I frowned as Sam tapped Dean on the shoulder making him turn to us.
"Let's get a bite to eat, go back to the motel, haul out the laptops." Sam suggested as Dean took a beat to glance into my eyes before running a hand over his face. I knew he couldn't face being locked in a room with me for hours. I knew because I was dreading being locked away with him. I knew it would just lead to more fighting.
"That's a great idea. Actually, that's a brilliant idea. Here's my counter." Dean paused for a beat before he kept talking, Sam gave me a sarcastic smile. We both knew what Dean was about to say. "You do that, I'll go undercover, go mingle amongst the locals and see, uh, what kind of clues bubble to the surface." Dean smirked clapping his hands together.
"You're going to a bar." Sam concluded in a deadpan tone as I let out a small sigh. I knew he wanted to be as far away from me as possible.
"Wow. If you want to oversimplify it." Dean huffed before walking off. I glanced up to Sam and bit my lip. He was giving me the worried big brother look he enjoyed throwing at me lately. I glanced back in the direction Dean was walking and then looked up at Sam. By his expression he almost knew what I wanted to do.
"I'll be right back." I huffed walking after Dean, jogging to catch him up. I walked around a corner as Dean grabbed me, dragging me into an alley. I looked around confused as he let go of me and walked away.
"Dean?" I asked confused as to why he had pulled me into the alley.
"I knew you'd come after me." Dean grunted out, spinning on his heels to face me. "But you know what- screw it!" He snapped the rage burning in his again.
"Excuse me?" I snapped back, folding my arms over my chest. I should have known it would have been an argument I had walked into.
"No, no no you should ask to be excused!" Dean snapped throwing his arms in the air. "I've had to deal with your crap for months now! I've had to deal with you pushing me away for months and it's killing me Megan!" Dean snapped, the rage pouring over every word he spoke.
"And watching you drink yourself to death is such a peachy thing!" I growled back, balling my hands into fists. His rage was feeding into my rage and it was taking everything within me not to release my wolf side. The anger made her stir to a level I hadn't felt since I had got out of purgatory.
"I drink- I drink because I don't know what else to do!" Dean growled back, getting in my face. The anger was rolling off him like thunder and I had to squeeze my fists so hard they bled just so that I wouldn't change. "You're the one driving me to drink! If you had just left when I told you-"
"You want me to leave?!" I cut in growling as we glared at each other. I was so mad, so angry that he thought I was pushing him away when it was him pushing me away.
"Yeah! Yeah maybe I do!" Dean snapped storming away from me. "You know what! Just stay the hell away from me! It's clear you don't want to be in this relationship anymore! Hell you talk to Sam more than me! I'm meant to be your husband for crying out loud Megan!"
"You got a real funny way of showing it then Dean! Hell when was the last time we really sat and talked about anything that wasn't a hunt?! You want me to act like a wife?! Try acting like a husband!" I snapped and stormed out of the alley, the rage burning inside of me as I the chasm inside me crack wider open.
I went straight back to the motel and changed into some jogging bottoms and old t-shirt. I pulled on my trainers and tied my hair into a high ponytail. By the time I was ready to leave someone knocked on my door. I opened it to find Sam stood there, his expression full of confusion and worry. I stepped aside so that he could come in.
"So, I'd ask if you're ok, but..." Sam sighed out as his eyebrows knitted together.
"He's a jerk! He's a stupid son of bitch who, who for as long as I can remember has been a major pain in my arse!" I growled shaking my head as I started to pace. I could feel the wolf side of me agitated and yearning to come out and play.
"You two fight again then?" Sam asked seriously as he sat on the edge of the bed. I turned to him and put my hands on my hips. The rage felt like it was seeping out of me.
"He's a pig headed, stubborn, self centred piece of -arh! He wants me to leave him the hell alone! Says that I'm the one who's acting like they don't want to be in this damn relationship! Can't he see that I am trying my hardest?! I mean what does it take to show him that I actually care?!" I snapped as I paced in front of Sam.
"You know, he'd say the same about you." Sam pointed out stopping me in my tracks. I turned to him and saw the honest expression. "I mean, as far as I can tell, you two are two sides of the same coin. That's why you've always digged each other." He shrugged softly.
"I am nothing like your brother." I scoffed out, shaking my head firmly.
"When it comes to opening up about things... you kinda are." Sam smirked a little as I scoffed out again. I turned my back on Sam and felt my stomach drop. I knew he was right, I knew me and Dean lacked some skills when it came to communicating about emotions. But it had always worked between us before. Now, this time, it felt different. Everything just felt wrong. I didn't know how to fix anything, but I knew I was the reason nothing was fixable. It had to be me, right? I let out a heavy sigh, brushing the loose hair off my face as I turned back to Sam. The chasm in me wide open and threatening to swallow me whole as I felt that sinking feeling that it really was all me.
"What's wrong with me Sam?" I asked deadly serious, my voice breaking as I continued to talk. "What's so damn wrong with me that I can never seem to make it work with your stupid brother?" I asked bowing my head for a second. I felt like I was battling against a tide, it was dragging me under and there was only so long I could keep afloat.
"There is nothing wrong with you Megan, honestly." Sam gently mused as I looked up and met his gaze again. His green eyes shined in a whole different way to Deans. Sam's were just full of honestly and caring. "As far as I can tell, you two keep fighting because you both care so damn much about the other. You both want to make the other feel better, that you'd stow all the crap going on with yourself." Sam sighed softly as he brushed the hair off his face.. I felt the tear roll down my cheek and I brushed it away with the back of my hand.
"He wants me to talk about Purgatory with him." I whispered out looking at my feet. "He thinks. He thinks it's just that easy to open up about it all... I can't- I just-" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Words don't do that place justice, you know?" I asked looking up at Sam with tears forming in my eyes. My heart ached knowing that I should have been having this conversation with Dean but we had gone past the point of either of us listening to the other.
"Yeah, I kinda know." Sam nodded as he pushed himself off the bed and walked over to me wrapping his arms around me. "He wants to help you so badly, he can see what it's done to you. We both can. We just, he just, wants to help." Sam hushed as I buried my head into his chest. "But he's Dean. Doesn't know how to talk about anything remotely linked to emotions. Hell he'd rather stay mad at you then admit it was killing him not being able to help you."
"I don't want the help. I just want to forget about it all." I sobbed as Sam held me closer. Sam wasn't Dean. He was a taller, more sensitive, softer version of Dean. Sam was the one I knew I could always turn to if I needed to talk. He rarely pushed me to talk about something I didn't want to, and in the times he did, it was for my own good. But Sam wasn't Dean and I knew deep down everything Sam was saying was right. Both of us wanted to forget our pain by trying to help the other move past their pain. The problem was we were too alike.
"I can't fix things... I don't know how to fix things this time." I admitted as we pulled out of the hug. I was devastated, just broken to the core and I needed someone to point me in the right direction to fix things.
"You just both need a little time to cool down, I bet by the end of this case you both will be back together." Sam smirked giving me a small nudge. "You know how the pair of you are like." He added with a shrug and a small smile. I couldn't bring myself to smile back as I looked up at the giant.
"Maybe..." I hummed, knowing that deep down things felt so wrong, so different.
The next morning we got a call that there had been another murder. I got dressed and walked over to Sam and Dean's room. I knocked and waited for one of them to answer.
"Megan?!" Sam cried out surprised and then tried to hide it. "Um, morning." He beamed as he stuck his head out from the door. The rest of his body was blocking the view into the room. Sam seemed slightly on edge.
"Morning... you guys ready to go?" I asked arching at eyebrow at how weird Sam was being.
"Um, you know actually, Dean is... just so hungover. He's in the bathroom cleaning up." Sam rambled, nodding a little as he glanced over his shoulder back into the room. "Do you mind going to the scene first and we'll catch you up?" Sam asked trying to fake innocence, turning back to me, giving me a small smile.
"Sure, I mean if that's what you wanna do?" I asked confused. Sam seemed to be all kinda of odd this morning and it was throwing me.
"Yeah, yeah... I um. I was actually hoping to talk to him in the car on the way. You know about you two." He added softly, giving me the puppy dog eyes.
"Oh, Sam, really you don't have to." I replied still not understanding why he was acting so weird.
"I hate seeing you so upset like you were last night Megan. Maybe if I talk to him, he'll listen." Sam added genuinely with a small shrug. I gave Sam a small smile.
"Thanks Sam, you really are a great guy." I replied with a small nod and turned to walk down the stairs.
"Anytime..." Sam sighed out. I turned as he went to close the door.
"Oh Sam?" I asked watching the fear flash through Sam's eyes.
"Yeah?" He answered nervously.
"I... um, just tell Dean we need help with the symbol. I can't remember where I've seen it before." I added as Sam just nodded and then closed the door on me. I paused looking sideways at the door. What is wrong with him this morning? Why wouldn't he let me in?Why was he blocking the door... Oh OH! Maybe he's got a friend over?! Yeah that would explain it! Good for you Sammy! Trying to sneak her out before Dean wakes up. I smirked as I shook my head and walked over to my car.
I got to the crime scene and was let in by the police guarding the door. The place was a blood bath, much like the photo's from the other crime scenes. As I ducked under the tape the forensics officer, Eddie Carter, from the night before waved me over to the body. I crouched over the body and instantly noticed the missing hands and feet, and our unusual craving in the chest. The more I looked at the carving the more I was certain I had seen it somewhere before.
"Well, you called it." I sighed turning to the forensics guy.
"I wish I hadn't." He replied sadly when a woman came storming into the room. Eddie greeted her with a warm smile which she didn't even acknowledge. Instead she just glared at me, her eyes taking in every detail of me in seconds.
"Detective Charlene Penn, FBI Agent Meg Kay." Eddie introduced us as I stood, brushing my hand down my trousers. I held my hand out to her and she shook it rather firmly.
"Pleasure Agent." She said firmly, looking straight into my eyes. Before I could say anything she crouched looking at the body as Eddie explained how the body had landed where it had. I felt Sam and Dean's presence before I saw them. I turned as the pair walked into the room, looking at the blood-splattered walls.
"Well, nice décor. Very early slaughterhouse." Dean joked to Sam as they got the attention of the detective and our forensics officer. I turned to the pair and Sam gave me a small smile as Dean did his usual of avoiding eye contact. I looked down to the ground heartbroken before I bit my lip as I looked over to the Detective.
"The other FBI agents." Eddie said to Detective Penn as everyone stood around. "Guys, this is Charlene Penn. She's the lead on the case." He added as he introduced everyone. I noticed Detective Penn's body language change when she saw the guys. I thought she was cold with me, she was icy with the guys.
"More of the same. Uh, no forced entry. Thrown across the room. Made to suffer. Both hands and feet cut off." She noted without even really looking at the pair.
"Same symbol in the chest." Sam nodded to the body as we all took another glance at the symbol.
"Mm. Whoever the killer is, the guy's a monster." Eddie summarised as Detective Penn glanced at me. I held her gaze for a second, slightly confused by her looking at me.
"Excuse me." She said quickly making her exit. I watched her walk over to some more forensic officers, talking softly to them. Something felt off about her. Maybe she doesn't like working with a bunch of dudes? She could be a feminist? Or anti-men? Maybe she just doesn't play well with others?
"This guy's just like the last one. Early 30s, decent-looking?" Dean asked snapping my attention back to the body in front of us.
"Yeah. Just like the first three, you know? Fairly successful, no known enemies." Eddie explained with a small shrug.
"Hmm." Dean nodded as we all looked at the body again.
"Here." Eddie nodded toward the kitchen and started to walk off. On instinct I started to fallow and notice Dean do the same. Sam had disappeared to talk to someone at the door. Dean seemed to realise that it was just the two of us the same time I did. Neither of us looked too happy about it.
"You know, I'm just gonna... " I threw my thumb in the direction of Detective Penn, making both Dean and Eddie turn to me.
"Oh yeah sure, lead on Eddie." Dean waved a hand, relief washing off him in waves as I made my way over to the Detective. I guess Sam's talk didn't help. I felt a little hurt that Dean wanted to be as far away from me as possible, but I pushed that feeling away as I reached the detective.
"Take it, you two don't get on well." Penn stated as I reached her. She had her back to me and took me a little by surprise.
"Excuse me?" I asked as she turned to me with a cold stare.
"You and that small agent, butt heads often I take it." She stated again without blinking.
"How'd?" I asked confused and tilting my head to the side slightly.
"Seen the way you two are around each other. You both can't seem to get away from the other fast enough." She stated before examining some of the blood splatter.
"Yeah, ok..." I hummed shaking my head as I looked at the blood too.
"Do your people have any leads on the weird symbol, any idea what it might mean?" I asked as Penn turned to face me fully again. This woman was all kinds of frosty with me, yet she had talked more to me than to any of the male officers in the whole room.
"We've run it through the gang squad, it's not a known gang tag. Tried the usual, nothing. So far we are assuming it's the mark of a new serial killer." She answered shortly.
"Thanks, let me know if you find anything else out." I muttered handing over a card and heading out to Sam. We all ducked under the police tape and made our way out of the building. I didn't bother looking at Dean as we made our way into the lobby.
"Who was that?" Dean asked Sam as I glanced at the pair.
"Neighbour. Said the vic's wife caught him cheating." Sam explained raising an eyebrow as he looked over to Dean more than me. Dean shrugged ignoring the look Sam was giving him. I didn't catch the look so presumed it was Sam trying to make Dean talk to me again.
"Yeah, but we're not thinking it's the wife." Dean argued shaking his head a little.
"Not unless she benches 350 and did the other guys as a warm-up." Sam sighed shaking his head too.
"Detective Penn seems to have a handle on things. She's had that symbol checked out and surprise, surprise, she had no idea what it is. For now they're working under the assumption that it's just the mark of the serial killer." I added as Dean reached into his pocket for his flask.
"Shoot. I left Bobby's flask over at- the bar! I mean in the bar." Dean quickly corrected as his eyes met mine for a heart beat before looking up at Sam sadly. Dean had kept Bobby's flask since we lost him. He literally took it everywhere with him. If it wasn't full of booze I would have thought it was a sweet way to keep Bobby with him always.
"The bar?" Sam asked surprised, looking almost like he didn't believe his brother. I turned to the pair raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah the one I was at last night, the Cobalt Room." Dean clarified, giving his brother a nod towards me. Sam looked at me and then back to Dean. The pair were acting kinda off with me, I wondered if they had gotten into an argument with each other over me too. The tension was getting higher again and I just wanted to get away.
"Well you should probably go get it back." I sighed out, pulling my hair loose. "I'm heading back to the motel, see if I can find anyone to help with this symbol thing." I added walking away from the pair.
"Megan, you um, want me to help out?" Sam asked as I paused at the door, both Sam and Dean watching me.
"Sure, whatever. I'm going to swing by the forensics lab and see if they have any variation in the carving then I'll meet you back at the motel?" I asked Sam as Dean looked at his feet.
"Sure, I'll bring the coffee." Sam nodded as I waved a hand at the pair disappearing into the sunshine.
We searched the local area for anyone who could help us. Any hunter who could even come close to Bobby. Any sci-fi nut who might not realise that they were really onto something. Any university who might have a professor who could decipher the symbol for us. Turns out that there really was only ever one Bobby. No one came close. No one would ever come close. Sam found a department of anthropology with a professor who could, maybe give us a hand in all of this.
"I just want to say before we walk in there, I didn't vote for this guy." I huffed looking at the pair as Dean looked between me and Sam confused.
"Well, he's the best of the bunch." Sam answered with a sarcastic smile as we walked into the room.
"Fascinating. Truly," Professor Morrison said as he studied the photos of the symbols we gave him. "And actually, rather accomplished craftsmanship." He added turning a photo on its side. I turned to Sam and gave him a small sarcastic told you so smile which Sam also returned sarcastically.
"Yeah, if you get past the fact that it was carved into a guy's body." Dean huffed as he turned from the shelf he was examining.
"Professor Morrison, we're hoping you can tell us what the symbol means." Sam asked as Dean came and stood between the two seats, his hands tucking into his pockets.
"Ah, maybe." The professor answered still looking at the pictures.
"Maybe?" Sam asked as I glanced at the brothers. We were all sharing the same what the hell expression.
"It's possible I could, even likely." Morrison answered putting the photos down and looking at all three of us. "Is the FBI offering suitable remuneration?" He asked looking between the three of us. Dean turned to Sam with wide eyes as I just simply rolled mine. I knew from the start this guy was going to be useless. I looked at some of his published work, the last couple of years the papers he published were just rubbish compared to his early work. He'd just given up on his career.
"The respect of a grateful nation." Sam answered sounding like a real FBI agent.
"And a good word with the I.R.S." Dean added when the professor's expression soured slightly.
"Ah. Well, it appears quite ancient." Morrison hummed softly.
"Well, that narrows it down." Dean muttered sarcastically as I glanced up at him. He gave me a small shrug. It was clear Dean didn't have patience for the guy either.
"A corrupted version of symbology associated with worship. Definitely an obscure regional script. Oh, this will require some research." Morrison concluded as we got to our feet.
"All right. Great. Well, uh, I guess we'll be seeing you tomorrow." Sam said as we got ready to leave.
"Tomorrow?" Morrison laughed shaking his head as he looked at all three of us. "I've spent entire sabbaticals on a project like this." He proclaimed looking down at the photo and then back to us.
"Professor! We have a serial killer on our hands." Dean insisted shaking his head.
"He will kill again, and soon." I added deadly serious.
"Your government needs you, sir." Sam added still playing FBI very well. Morrison, rubbed his eyes, pushing his glasses back up his face as he let out a heavy sigh. We were about to be played, I just knew it.
"Gentlemen, Ma'am. My housekeeper needs a green card." Morrison said dead serious, looking at all of us.
We walked out of the room and I let out a sigh shaking my head. "Good God, where'd you find this guy?" Dean asked the pair of us as we all walked down the university hallway.
"I tried to warn you." I chimed in holding my hands up. Sam let out a small grunt as he looked from me to Dean.
"He's supposed to be a top expert in his field." Sam sighed out.
"Yeah, well, when his field includes things that go bump in the night, he's gonna be worth the breath we just wasted." Dean grunted as we walked. It was clear to anyone that Dean hated that it wasn't Bobby we were turning to. It was bringing up emotions for all of us.
"So, what are we supposed to do, Dean? Spin our wheels?" Sam asked frustrated with how off hand Dean was being about it all.
"Sam, this is us spinning our wheels, okay?!" Dean snapped at the pair of us. Sam stopped walking, making me and Dean stop to turn and face him.
"Dean, you know what? I want to call him, too, okay? Believe me. Megan wants to call him too. We all want him here Dean. We all do. But Bobby's not here. So we're settling." Sam huffed shaking his head at Dean. I felt Dean glance at me for a second as I looked to the floor.
"Yeah. We sure are." Dean muttered taking out his phone and looking at who. "Damn it, why hasn't she called?" He asked aloud.
"Who?" I asked confused as Dean looked up and darted his eyes to Sam.
"The woman in the bar. I asked her to call if she found the flask." Dean answered actually looking at me. I felt Sam's eyes dart from me and Dean like a tennis match.
"So you're waiting for some bar maid to call you back?" I asked confused. I knew Dean pretty well, I had never seen him so worked up before. I was starting to wonder if this whole thing was really about the flask.
"Yeah, pretty much." Dean nodded, looking back at his phone.
"You sure you lost it in the bar?" I asked innocently as his eyes darted to me for a second before looking at his phone again.
"Yeah, I know exactly where I lost it." Dean grunted with a nod. "Screw it. I'm going over there and getting the flask." Dean huffed before walking away from us before either of us could argue.
"He seem... off to you?" I asked turning to Sam, eyeing the younger Winchester. Out of the pair I knew if I had to, I could get Sam to crack.
"He really loves that flask." Sam answered with a shrug as he started to walk off too.
"Yeah, see it feels like there's something I'm missing." I huffed as we started to walk down the corridor. "How did the talk go with him?" I asked glancing up at Sam.
"It's Dean. He just got pissed at me." Sam shrugged as we continued to walk.
"Thanks for trying Sam." I said giving him a small smile. Sam nodded looking hurt for a minute before he quickly changed the topic.
We went back to the motel to grab some food before we had to set off for the crime lab to see what Eddie had found out from the newest victim. I sat at the table while Sam sighed for the third time in five minutes. He seemed fidgety and couldn't seem to keep still no matter what he did. It wasn't often that I saw Sam so worked up.
"You ok?" I asked looking up from my cup. I couldn't sense anything from him.
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine." He added, glancing around the room as he drummed a finger on the table.
"Sure, because you're acting it." I muttered as he looked at me and gave me a nervous smile.
"Sorry." He said honestly, blowing the air out of his cheeks.
"You know you're a terrible liar Sam Winchester." I said firmly looking up at the giant.
"I am?!" He nearly choked out as he looked at me with wide eyes.
"Yeah, I mean I don't need any help to see something is eating at you." I said with a small smile.
"Megan, look I just-" Sam started to explain as his eyes darted around the room
"Call him." I sang out as Sam snapped his head to me. "He's late, he's been like an hour already. At this rate he isn't even going to make it."
"Yeah, I probably should." Sam sighed taking a sip of his coffee. "He's already late." Sam added with a huff.
"It's Dean, when is he ever on time?" I joked taking a sip of my coffee as I looked over to Sam.
"Good point." Sam smirked as he pulled out his phone and dialled the number while he finished his drink.
"Hello." Dean answered as Sam swallowed the last of coffee and put the cup down on the side.
"Mm. Hey. Where are you? It's a flask, not the holy grail." Sam joked as I laughed a little. Sam as right, Dean was treating the flask like it was the holy grail or something.
"Hey, man, I'm a people person, all right? I'm engaging in some social skills." Dean answered as Sam frowned. I was playing with my cup of coffee and I wasn't sure if Sam knew I could hear Dean's end of the call. My hearing had picked up to the levels it used to be, but I wasn't back to my full werewolf side. I hadn't changed or used my strength. But I was feeing emotions from people occasionally, only if they were strong emotions, and I could ease drop calls. "You get anything out of Morrison?" Dean asked as Sam let out a small sigh.
"No. Not yet. Look, would you get back here?" He asked as he slipped on his jacket I finished my drink and got to my feet too, putting the cup on the side. "Uh, we're due at the crime lab." Sam added then he pulled his phone away from his ear. "Dean?" He asked putting it back.
"Hang on." Dean seemed to whisper. Sam turned to me shaking his head as I looked, waiting for an explanation.
"Hey, look, why don't you just..." Sam said down the line then sighed again. "Great I'm talking to myself."
"We need to go Sam." I said softly as Sam ran a hand through his hair.
"I know." He sighed shaking his head. "You there? HELLO!" Sam practically shouted down the phone.
"Let me call you back." Dean answered before hanging up.
"Great." Sam huffed putting his phone back into his pocket.
"See, this is what I mean about him acting weird." I pointed out as we headed out of the motel room.
"He just really wants to get the flask back." Sam answered as we got in the car.
We got to the morgue and was met by Eddie who took us to the latest victim. He walked us through the autopsy, making sure we knew of anything that could really help us.
"So, again, we got a guy weighing about two bills, thrown into a wall so hard, he's got pieces of plaster lodged in his skull." Eddie explained as we walked away from the body, Sam and Eddie covering it with a sheet. I opened my mouth to ask a question when Detective Penn stormed into the room, looking straight at Sam with a look that could kill.
"What triggered the Feds' involvement in this case? I always think you boys have bigger fish to fry." She asked giving him nothing but her cold shoulder.
"No. Actually, we – we" Sam stammered as he glanced over his shoulder to me. "It's-"
"I just figured it was the similarity to the other cold cases? If it's the same killer, then he crossed state lines – that would bring you guys in." Eddie buttered in getting a glare from Detective Penn.
"Well, that's exactly right. Uh, what he said." Sam answered nodding his head to Eddie. I offered Eddie a small thank you smile Penn didn't see.
"Yeah. Whatever. You're gonna have to wrap this up. Your case isn't the only one we're working on." Penn snapped looking at the pair of us with a glare that would make most people shy away.
"We will try our best Detective." I answered as Sam just nodded. Penn left as quickly as she appeared. Sam turned to Eddie in half shock.
"You get used to her." Eddie shrugged, shaking his head a little.
"Uh, so, Eddie, by the way, we didn't bring the cold-case files with us. Is there a chance you have a copy?" Sam asked giving me a small glance as Eddie turned his back on us. The glance said we should probably work fast to wrap us this case before Penn tries to call our superiors.
"Yeah." Eddie answered as he hit a few keys on a computer.
"Great." Sam sighed out as he picked up an evidence bag, examining it. "The Cobalt Room." He muttered as his eyebrows knitted together. I glanced and met Sam's eyes. That was the bar that Dean had gone to scope out the first night we hit town.
"Mm! Yeah, it's pretty well known. Looking to hook up, it's a pretty good place to go." Eddie explained with a small smile as he looked at the pair of us.
"That so?" I asked folding my arms over my chest, glancing at Sam who looked guilty as sin.
"Vic number two was there." Eddie explained passing a file over to Sam. "And according to his security guard, he left with a hot girl. Two days later, he's an obituary." He added with a small shrug.
"Same with Jerry Price." Sam added reading from the file.
"Mm-hmm. And, uh, as far as we can tell, at least a couple of those in there." Eddie continued pointing to the file in Sam's hands.
"Same thing in Chicago." Sam noted and I snapped my head up.
"Chicago." I echoed shaking my head as I remembered where I had seen the symbols before.
"Yep. A lot of busted marriages, flings with unknown women, that kind of thing, all just before they got offed." Eddie explained as I frowned.
"Thanks." Sam said to Eddie as we walked out of the room. As soon as I was sure we were out of ear shot of Eddie I scoffed shaking my head.
"I remember now." I huffed looking up at Sam, who still had the files. "That's where I've seen the symbol before!" I cried out nodding to the files.
"You were there?" Sam asked confused.
"It wasn't long before I changed, I caught wind of these murders. Some weird symbol, our symbol," I added pointing to the file. "It was carved into the chest of some guys. I barely got into it when... when I changed and I had to leave. I was too young to get into the case like we do now. I tried to work the club angle but... I was working through all these changes, I had to leave the case and head home." I admitted shaking my head. "I so knew it was case back then! Should have stuck with it!" I scoffed kicking myself for not doing more when I could have.
"You had no idea, you were new to hunting back then." Sam objected shaking his head a little. "Hell you had bigger things to deal with." He added as we walked down the corridor.
"We need to fill Dean in, especially if all our victims have spent the night in the Colbert Room just before being murdered." I added with a sigh. It would be typical for Dean to stumble into the one connection all the victims had.
"Yeah, you're right, you wanna call him or me?" Sam asked looking down at me. Something stirred within me, so deep down fear that just talking to Dean would lead to fighting.
"I think you should. We're still not really talking." I sighed running a hand through my hair and tucking some behind my ear. Sam nodded pulling his phone out as we found a small room for some quiet.
"Yeah?" Dean sounded a little distracted as I read the files Eddie had given us. I was just skim reading them as I listened to their conversation.
"Dude. You never showed." Sam sighed annoyed as he paced in front of me.
"I'm outside Lydia's." Dean answered and I paused. This was the first time I had either of them mention a Lydia and I was wondering why Dean was outside her house. Sam glanced at me before turning his back on me.
"Oh, come on, man. What, are you obsessed or something?" Sam asked in a hushed tone. "You do realise Megan is here with me right?"
"No, I'm telling you. I have been eating at the buffet of strange all afternoon." Dean answered still sounding like he was preoccupied with something.
"Meaning what?" Sam asked turning back to face me and pace again.
"I'll tell you the second I know. But something ain't right." Dean huffed down the line.
"Or you're obsessed." Sam teased a little.
"Shut up. I'm serious." Dean snapped down the phone.
"Okay, uh, you, you need backup or..." Sam asked glancing over me. At the word back up I looked up at Sam waiting to see if we had to move.
"No, not yet. What's up on your end?" Dean asked as Sam shook his head and I went back to the file.
"Apparently, there was an identical murder fest ever two years going back to Chicago in 06. All the victims were young, successful a lot of them went to the same bar. It lines up. The trails always went cold fast." Sam explained as he paced.
"Wait 06? Wasn't Megan in Chicago then?" Dean asked plainly as he connected the dots. I had to admit I was kinda surprised that he remembered I went to university there.
"Yeah, that's where she remembered the symbol from. She didn't have much time to work the case though." Sam added glancing at me as I sighed a little.
"Yeah?" Dean asked sighing a little too.
"Yeah that was around the time she...changed." Sam explained with a small sigh as he paced in front of me. "Oh, and by the way. As a personal kicker, here, at least some of the vics hooked up in that bar you went to, the, uh, the Cobalt Room. So, just saying, man, you, you dodged a bullet." Sam explained with a sarcastically smirk as he talked.
"Got to go." Dean jumped in, hanging up before anyone could speak.
"Nice talk." Sam sighed looking at his phone before looking at me. "Guess he had to go."
"He ok?" I asked closing the file in front of me.
"Yeah, just he thinks he's found something weird. He's looking into it." Sam nodded tucking his phone away as we started to walk out of the building. I just nodded wondering if the weird Dean was looking into really had to do with this Lydia chick he was sat outside of.
That night I went to my room to get a shower and try and remember anything useful from the case in Chicago. As the hot water hit my skin I let out a heavenly sigh, the water relaxed muscles I didn't even know I had tense. I started to think about the case. About the symbol and the guys involved. I remembered that all the guys had cheated on their partners with women they had met in the same bar. It was the same here. All the victims had cheated with women they had met in the Colbert Room. Dean was in the Colbert Room when he lost his flask. Then there was this Lydia he was sat outside of.
He wouldn't cheat on me? Right? I mean it's just a stupid thought. It has to be right? I mean he loves me. I love him. I frowned as the chasm in my stomach felt so hollow. We've been fighting for months now. It's getting worse. I mean just before he went to the bar he said he didn't want me around anymore. He wanted me gone. But he was mad, right? Something stirred in my stomach as I thought about how the brothers seemed to be acting around me. Both of them have been acting weird. Sam has been lying to me, I know he has. Does he know? Has he been covering for Dean? I bit my lip as the water turned cold. I got out of the shower and changed into some jeans and a shirt. I dried my hair and tied it into a messy bun. Lydia, a woman he just met. He's sat outside her house all day. He lost his flask. The only way he'd loose that flask was if he took his clothes off... he always leaves it in the same pocket, never, ever leaves it out. No one pick pockets Dean Winchester either. He had to have lost it at Lydia's while he... A tear rolled down my cheek as I brushed it away.
"I gotta be wrong. I'm just over thinking everything. I just need to talk to the pair of them. Get Dean to clear it all up. He loves me. I love him. He would never..." I let out a heavy sigh as I grabbed my phone, tucking it into my jeans pocket. I scrubbed my face before walking out of my room and heading over to the guys. I walked over to their room and hovered my hand over to knock when I heard the pair talking.
"So what? I mean, so maybe Lydia has another kid she didn't tell you about." Sam countered, it sounded like I had caught them mid-conversation.
"Nope, just the one. Emma. But that night, when I was with her, she didn't have any. And I was at her place, man. There was no playpens, no blankets, no rubber ducks." Dean answered as my heart sunk a little. Maybe he was just fallowing a lead and that's why he was at her house. He could have been working the case. I tried to convince myself.
"Right. Like you would have been focused on that kind of thing." Sam scoffed as my felt all the air escape my lungs in a rush. No. No he wouldn't...
"Hey, dude, that's the first thing you notice. Red flags." Dean answered as his voice went further away from the door. My heart lurched into my throat as there was no way I could misunderstand what they were talking about. Dean had spent the night at Lydia's house. He had actually cheated on me and Sam knew. I felt like I couldn't breath as I forced my legs to take me back to my room. I closed the door and pressed my back hard against it as hot tears rolled down my cheeks.
"He cheated on me... he... why?" I gasped out as I slid down the door wrapping my arms around knees as I sobbed into them. Nothing made sense to me. I mean sure we fought and lately we fought a lot but I never, never, imagined that Dean would ever cheat on me. I felt a pain inside, a pain so raw unlike anything I had ever felt. It hurt more than the Leviathans, than the torture any demon had put me through, worse than being killed. The pain was unbearable. He doesn't love me. Did he ever? Is she the first? Has he done it to me before? Does he even care? Something snapped in me. A rage that built quicker than anything I could ever control. I leapt to my feet and flipped the table over smashing the chairs into the walls as I felt the rage feed into my werewolf side. I blinked and God help me, I knew I had changed. The rage was all I felt; the anger, hurt and betrayal rolling into one rage fuelled moment where I tore my room apart. All I could see was red. I smashed up everything in the room. Breaking as much as I could to try and expel the rage that was seeping out of my pours. I had never felt a rage like it and I knew deep down inside me, how dangerous I could be. I destroyed the room in a matter of minutes. I dropped to my knees in the middle of the destruction when the door to my room came crashing in. Both Sam and Dean stood there with their guns drawn looking for some monster to shoot.
"Megan?! What happened? Are you ok?" Sam cried out as Dean went to check the windows, kicking the door shut after him. I didn't say a word, I just looked at the blood on my hands. I had managed to bust open both my knuckles, but they were healing right in front of my eyes. I didn't feel any pain from them. I didn't feel much of anything.
"Megan, hey, hey are you here?" Dean asked softly as the pair dropped onto their knees either side of me. I blinked at Dean's voice. He was the reason for all this pain in side of me. He was the reason all the rage was burning through my veins. He was the reason for everything I hated in that moment. I looked up at Dean and glared as he looked shocked. "Megan?" He asked softly, his eyes darting to Sam for a second.
"Megan, your, your eyes their green." Sam stammered in shock, as I kept my eyes locked on Dean.
"Megan, are you hurt?" Dean asked tucking his gun down the back of his waist band. I just kept looking into those green orbs I had fallen so stupidly in love with. He was the one. The one man I had thought I wanted. The one man I thought would want to spend the rest of my life with. I loved him with everything I ever was. I thought he felt the same way about me. I was wrong. I must have been so stupid to think that I could change the great Dean Winchester. The rage bubbled in me and before I knew it my fist was connecting with Dean's jaw knocking him to the ground hard.
"Megan! What the hell?!" Sam cried out as he pulled me back, making us both fall onto our backsides. I still couldn't tear my eyes off of Dean; the hate I felt for him filling the chasm inside me. Dean wiped the blood off his split lip as he sat up, shaking his head a little.
"You mind telling me what the hell that was all about?" Dean asked bitterly, dabbing his lip to stop the bleeding.
"Lydia." I growled, a mixture of my own voice and the voice of the werewolf in side of me. I watched as all the colour drained from Dean's face as Sam let go of my arm. "I hope she was worth it Dean." I added getting to my feet and walking out of the room without even looking at either Winchester.
I walked around town a couple of times. I had to keep moving. I had to get rid of the rage that threatened to let my wolf side totally loose. I ended up sat on a bench in a park about three in the morning. My whole body was shaking as the realisation of everything hit me so hard. I wanted to cry but tears just wouldn't form. I felt the chasm within me fill with anger and hatred though. There was a part of me that didn't care if she was the first of the twentieth. That part of me wished that they would come for him. Toss him around like some rag doll before cutting off his feet and hands. That part of me knew he deserved that and oh so much more.
But that was just a part of me.
A bigger part hurt with a raw pain I hadn't really felt before. But it needed to know if she was the only one. How long Sam had known and just why they hell I wasn't good enough any more. I was sat lost in all my thoughts when my phone rang. I pulled it out and saw it was Sam. I looked down at the goofy smiling face that appeared and wondered if I should pick up. I knew if I didn't then the pair would only come looking for me.
"Hello." I answered, all the emotion was missing out of my voice.
"Are you ok?" Sam asked softly. "I mean I know you're not ok. But are you safe?" Sam asked correcting himself. I looked around the empty park and let out a small sigh.
"Yeah." I finally answered, my eyes scanning the park.
"I'm so sorry I kept it all from you. I made Dean promise to tell you when I found out. I kinda punched him too... He promised he was waiting for the right time to tell you." Sam blurted out making that raw pain spike in my heart. My breath caught in my throat as I nodded, I wasn't shocked, but the the truth ripped me apart inside.
"How long have you known?" I asked biting my lip so hard I felt the blood in my mouth.
"Since he lost his flask." Sam answered sounding ashamed of himself.
"He wasn't there that morning was he?" I asked already knowing the answer.
"Megan-" Sam started to plead with me, when I cut him off.
"You were protecting him." I scoffed out as a tear fell. Winchesters always stick together.
"I don't know what I was doing Megan. I was hoping it was all a big mistake." Sam answered honestly. I could hear the truth in his voice and it was killing me. It was real. All of it as really happening.
"He cheated on me Sam." I sobbed out as a few more tears fell. My heart was ripped into a thousand pieces.
"I'm sorry." Sam answered and I let out a small sarcastic chuckle.
"Pretty sure he's the one who is supposed to say that." I replied feeling the numbness start to wash over my body. It was a welcome relief from the rage and pain that was consuming me.
"He's sorry. So damn sorry." Sam answered softly as I heard some movement near Sam.
"So sorry he's got you to call and check up on me?" I barked out shaking my head, as I wiped away the tears. I didn't want Dean to hear me cry, I didn't want him to see how badly he had ripped me apart.
"Like you would have picked up if he called." Sam teased a little actually making me smile for a second.
"I guess." I sighed out, looking at my feet as the numbness totally took over. The line went silent for a few minutes and I could just tell that the brothers were sharing a silent conversation between the pair. The phone rustled against some fabric before I heard anything else. I heard someone take a deep breath as they put the phone to their ear. I knew it was Dean, without him having to say a single word. I waited, waiting to hear what lies he intended to tell me. Seconds went by, quickly turning to minutes when I heard a sigh and the phone was past back. I heard the mouth piece being covered as Sam's voice came out muffled, he was calling for Dean to come back. It didn't sound like Dean was listening as Sam let out a heavy sigh moving his hand back from the mouth piece.
"I'm here if you need anything. Please Megan, don't think you're in this alone." Sam spoke letting out a soft sigh.
"Thanks Sam." I hung up and looked around the empty park, the numbness taking over everything within me. Eventually I went back to my motel room. I spent a couple of hours putting things back together. When the room was clean I just sat on the floor, my back against the bed frame as I drank a few bottles of beer. The numbness had taken away everything that made me want to rip the world apart but it didn't take away the feeling that it was all my fault. That somehow, some way it was me. That I wasn't good enough for Dean. It made me think if I was ever good enough for Dean. I started to think that it was all me. He cheated because I just wasn't enough, I could never been enough. After all that's why Sam had Lisa as a back up right? Even he knew I wasn't enough. The angels had always said I was a half-breed, they warned me to stay away from him for his own good. Hell I was an Omega, I was destined to be a bad guy right? I was never meant to be with Dean.
Everyone was right. All of them. I was never put on this planet to be with Dean. Hell I was put here to bring pain and hurt to those closest to me. I was only ever here to get Dean to the Apocalypse and then I was meant to die. Maybe I should have stayed dead. Maybe when I left Dean to Lisa, I should have made sure I never crossed paths with either Winchester. Maybe I should have made the deal with Cass to wipe my existence from everyone's minds. No, I was never meant to be with Dean Winchester, this has been one big arse car crash happening in slow motion. I knew it would catch up with me eventually.
I let those thoughts cloud my mind as I fell asleep.
I woke in the morning by Morrison calling to say that he had discovered about the symbol that we just had to see. Apparently he hadn't got the memo that I never wanted to lay eyes on Dean Winchester again. We had a case, and even if Dean was going to be the next victim I had to keep investigating. We had no idea who else was involved. I pulled up at the university minutes after Sam and Dean. Dean's bust lip was out there for everyone to see as the pair turned to me. I got out of the car and nodded to Sam.
"You wanna keep working this?" Sam asked me utterly shocked then he glanced over his shoulder to Dean.
"It's a case, we work it to the end." I spoke glancing up at Sam. I stalked over to Dean and stood dead centre in front of him, my eyes locking with his instantly. "Don't talk to me. Don't think about talking to me. And if you wanna make it through this case alive stay away from me." I growled up at him before walking off into the university giving no chance for questions. Morrison said that he had a presentation that he wanted to show us to explain what he had discovered about the symbol. I sat one side of the projector with Sam while Dean sat at the other side alone. The whole time I could feel Dean's eyes drilling into me. I knew he was watching me without having to even look around. Normally I would turn, move, react in some way to that heavy gaze of his but now... now the numbness meant I could completely ignore it.
"You know, identifying the scroll was no day at the beach. Lesser scholars would have crumbled." Morrison said trying to big himself up. I rubbed the bridge of my nose, I really didn't have the patients to deal with him anymore.
"Professor... the symbol?" Sam prompted him after seeing my reaction.
"Yeah. Yeah. It's ancient, regional. Very difficult to identify. But I managed to find a match." He explained pointing to his slide show. "It's a variation of a symbol associated with the Greek Pantheon, the temple of the goddess Harmonia. According to myth, the coupling of Harmonia and Ares, the God of war, produced the Amazons." He explained showing us a couple of pictures.
"The Amazons?" Sam choked out confused as I lent forward, examining the images he was showing.
"Like Wonder Woman?" Dean asked dumbing it down, I rolled my eyes biting my tongue so I didn't say something cruel to him.
"No, like, like a tribe of warriors. They actually existed. The comic books, they're just silly perversions. The symbol I believe it originated with the Amazons. Pictographs meant to pay homage to Harmonia, occult talismans, if you will. They had an exclusively female culture. No use for men whatsoever, except procreation." Morrison explained showing a few pictures to back up his evidence.
"All the vics were male." Sam pointed out, glancing at me. I nodded in agreement, the Amazon angle did seem to fit at least.
"So you said, with this symbol carved in their chests." Morrison pointed to a slide that had the symbol broken into two other symbols.
"And their hands and feet cut off." I added shaking my head.
"Now, that is interesting." Morrison said pointing to me with a smile. I fought not to roll my eyes at him.
"Got our attention." Dean muttered making Morrison frown a little.
"After they were impregnated, they killed the male, first cutting off certain body parts." Morrison explained as Sam turned to Dean with a look. I just focused on the slide. I couldn't bring myself to look at Dean right now. At the talk of sex my skin crawled, thinking what Dean had done with this Lydia he picked up. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
We went back to the motel and I got changed. Sam said that he and Dean were going through Bobby's boxes of books for anything that could be helpful now that we knew that we were going up against the Amazons. Sam also insisted that I didn't have to be there, but I figured the sooner we finished the case the faster I could get away from Dean Winchester. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.
"Megan?" Dean asked utterly shocked as he looked behind me for someone. "Um, Sam's getting the last box... I can get him to grab you... if um you want." He mumbled, avoiding looking me in the eyes. He was so guilty that it was pouring out of his whole being. He knew how badly he had hurt me, I could see it in his eyes. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes any longer so I focused on his chest. I could hear his heart racing as I stood there, his body tense waiting to see how I was going to react. The faster you finish this case, the faster you can get the hell away from this jerk. My mind seemed to answer the fears I had festering inside me. I blinked and nodded a little to myself.
"I um... I can work through the other boxes or something." I muttered back as he stepped aside so that I could walk in the room. I held my breath as I walked past him, my mind racing with a million questions I had for him. I paused a few steps after him, the courage building enough within me to ask why. Why I wasn't enough. Why he went with her. Why did we fall apart after everything we'd been through. Just Why. I turned to face him and as soon as I saw his face it all went. All the courage to ask went. The guilt in his green eyes caught in my breath as my mind went blank. His emotions were too strong, they stifled my own thoughts. I knew it would be a long time before I could really talk to Dean about all of this. I let out a small sigh and went to one of the boxes. I pulled out a rather large monster manual we had used when we were looking up Angel info. I dusted it off and sat at the table.
"You want a drink?" Dean asked just barely audible as I looked up from the book and met his gaze. Neither of us spoke as I just looked into his green eyes. The guilt was washing off him in waves. He was so damn guilty he didn't know how to fix it. I noticed the tears trying to form in his eyes as he blinked them back. He looked exhausted, I was guessing he wasn't sleeping. It was tearing him apart. Internally I was dying to punch him until he stopped moving, rip him apart until he explained why he slept with her. I wanted to react but my body wouldn't let me. I just looked into those guilty green eyes.
"No... um thanks." I uttered, tearing my eyes off him and focusing all my attention to the book. I heard Dean clear his throat as he went to grab a beer. We sat in utter silence for hours it felt like. I focused everything I had on the book. I didn't trust myself to look away from it. Sam came with the last book, I felt his gaze as he looked between me and Dean utterly confused.
We worked in silence for the majority. Me and Sam seemed to look through books Dean thought might help. There was plenty to look through, not that it all was helpful. In the silence I felt Dean watch me, just watch me. It didn't feel like how he used to watch me, this time it felt... I can't quite put it into words, but I think he was trying to work up the courage to talk to me about Lydia. I think. But with Sam around giving him evils every time he caught his big brother watching me, there was no way Dean would approach that subject with me.
"I know Bobby's got a Grecian encyclopedia of weird in here. I saw it last time I was looking through this stupid... Would it kill him to have a system?" Dean whined as he brushed the dust off his hand onto his jeans.
"He has a system. His files are set up like his brain." Sam joked taking a sip of his coffee as I looked up at the pair. I watched as Dean took the flask out of his pocket and take a quick drink. Seeing the flask I dropped my eyes back to the book. The hurt rising to the surface again.
"You got anything?" Dean asked being careful to move and sit near to Sam on the edge of the bed, and keep his distance from me.
"Uh, yeah." Sam answered hitting a key to bring up Greek Mythology – The Amazons from a search engine. "There's this whole crazy side to Amazon lore that Professor Morrison didn't even mention." He added.
"That's 'cause he doesn't believe in it, which is a real handicap when you're trying to deal with it." Dean muttered sarcastically as he opened the book in his hands.
"Told you." I added glancing at Sam, knowing Morrison was never going to be too helpful to us. Sam frowned at the pair of us before continuing.
"Right. Um, apparently, there was this long, bloody war. The Amazon population was decimated, so they made a bargain with Harmonia to replenish their ranks and make them stronger." Sam explained what he had found out.
"Well, I'd say throwing grown men through walls was stronger." Dean commented looking over at his little brother.
"Yeah. Well, basically, they became more than human. Harmonia turned them into monsters." Sam added with a shrug.
"Can you kill them like humans? Or is there some kind of trick?" Dean asked glancing at the book in his hands.
"Uh, doesn't say. No idea. I guess it could go either way." Sam replied unhelpfully.
"Well, that's helpful." Dean said sarcastically "What else?" He asked glancing at Sam. Sam turned to me, knowing I had discovered a few things.
"The lore says they reproduced quickly, after mating, they gave birth within 36 hours." I read from the page and noticed Dean stopped flicking through his book and was really paying attention to what I was saying. "The babies grew incredibly fast, then the aging process became normal."
"Which is one way to make an army, I guess." Sam commented making Dean look at both of us as I continued.
"The mating cycle is every two years. They send out all the women who have reached child-bearing age." I added frowning a little.
"Which lines up, 'cause this happens every couple of years in different towns, right?" Dean asked pausing to take it all in.
"Yeah. And we know for sure that at least some of the vics hooked up with strange women days before being killed Amazon style." Sam added as Dean closed the book and put it down by the side of him. His eyes darted to mine and the guilt washed off his more. Something stirred in my stomach as I knew he was about to say something that was going to make things worse.
"Hooked up in the same bar I met Lydia, right?" Dean asked being careful not to look at me again.
"Yeah." Sam frowned, glancing over to me and giving me a small sad smile.
"And then suddenly," Dean got up and walked over to Sam's side, far away from me. "She's got a little baby in like fruit-fly time. That baby turns into a little girl just as fast." Dean explained as I felt his eyes on me again. I turned my hand into a fist and couldn't believe what I was hearing. The rage bubbled inside me and it was taking everything to keep my wolf side in check. Dean noticed, I felt Dean tense but Sam, bless him was too caught up with Dean's stupidity to notice.
"Wow. So maybe you're, you're, uh..." Sam concluded as I just watched Dean. My fist going to tight that the pain was keeping me on this side of sane. Dean froze as we both let Sam's words sink in. And boy did they sink in deep with me.
"Don't say it." Dean warned Sam as I shook my head. I couldn't bare it! I couldn't believe it! Dean was so-
"You got her pregnant too!" I ground out as I glared at Dean. If what he was implying was right, he not only cheated on me but made a kid with this bitch.
"Megan- I, I-" Dean stumbled over his words as he looked at me.
"Not only did you sleep with this... this bitch! But you... you didn't even- I can't believe you!" I snapped from the table as the blood trickled down my fist. Dean's eyes snapped to the blood as he opened his mouth to say something.
"Look, if that kid's yours-" Sam jumped in realising that Dean was in danger from the Amazons.
"I said don't say it!" Dean snapped at Sam as I just felt more betrayed then before. Cheating was one thing, but making a whole new life was just...
"Fine. I won't." Sam huffed, pouting a little as he folded his arms over his chest. Sam glanced at me and noticed the blood dripping from my fist. "Megan?" Sam asked softly, full of worry about me.
"How could you?! How could you just... Did you even think about what you were doing with her?" I asked standing up from the table. I gripped the table so that I didn't lash out at him, but I could feel the cheap wood bending under my grip.
"Megan, please, I just-" Dean started to try and explain himself when Sam got up and walked over to me.
"Dean... Dude, seriously, a one-night stand, you're just gonna... roll the dice? You don't even-" Sam was on his soap box, chastising his big brother for being a complete idiot.
"Of course not... Sam. What, do you think I'm brain-dead? Accidents happen. If one even did, which I-I-I don't think..." Dean eyes darted to mine as I brushed away tears I hadn't realised that fallen. Dean realised just how much damage his one night stand was really doing and I felt the anger rise up within him. "Megan... I am... so... so sorry." Dean's voice came out as a whisper, nothing like the voice I had come to hearing from him. I saw the hurt reflect in his own eyes as I shook my head.
"You didn't even think Dean. Not once did you think of me, or us!" I snapped shaking my head as Sam wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I let go of the table and felt two hand shaped dents in the wood.
"I never meant- Megan please I just-" Dean stopped as I felt the glare Sam was aiming at his big brother.
"Maybe you should stop talking Dean." Sam growled protectively of me.
"No. You know what? We're – stop. We're not gonna talk about this anymore because my skin's starting to crawl!" He snapped walking back over to the bed.
"You destroyed Megan's life and you're bothered about how it makes you feel?" Sam snapped as he stormed into his brothers face. The tension between the pair was only feeding into the rage I was desperately trying to keep under control.
"Sammy- just don't!" Dean growled in a warning tone as I took a deep breath.
"Maybe you should have thought of that before sleeping with her Dean." Sam snapped with all the venom in his voice. I glared at Dean. He couldn't even look at me in the eyes.
"I never meant to hurt you Megan." Dean uttered looking to the floor, his voice breaking with emotion.
"Doesn't change the fact you slept with an Amazon Dean. Doesn't stop the fact you made a kid with her." I added letting all the betrayal and hurt seep over every word that left my mouth. Sam walked back over to me, his arm resting protectively over my shoulders as he stood by my side.
"If it's true, if it happened..." Sam let his sentence die away.
"I know. I got to hang on to my hands and feet." Dean muttered taking another drink from his flask, his eyes looking anywhere but at me and Sam.
"You make me feel sick Dean. I just... I can't even look at you right now." I cried out shaking my head as I stormed out of the room and as far away from Dean as possible.
I needed space from Dean, the revelation that he might have a kid with this bitch was too much for me to process without ripping everything apart again. After about an hour or so Sam called saying he was swinging by to take me back to see the old professor. When he picked me up he gave me those damn puppy dog eyes.
"I'm so sorry for all of this Megan." Sam sighed as he glanced at me as he drove.
"He did it. Not you. I get keeping it to yourself." I admitted looking out the window as I felt my heart breaking all over again. "You protect family." I sighed out.
"You're family too." Sam huffed. "I just... I didn't know how to tell you... I am, I'm so sorry for hurting you." Sam added giving me the puppy dog eyes. I never blamed Sam for any of it. He was just being loyal, he didn't want anyone to get hurt.
"It's ok Sam. Honestly." I answered looking straight ahead. I felt if I looked into his eye much longer I would have fallen apart and not been able to finish the case.
"I can't believe he knocked her up. He... I can't..." Sam let out a heavy sigh.
"I don't understand either. I don't understand any of this." I sighed out as I concentrated on the world passing by the window. "I mean, is it me? Is there something wrong with me?" I asked aloud for the first time since finding out he cheated.
"What?! No!" Sam cried out as I turned to him, the tears forming in my eyes.
"I mean, am I not the same person I was before? What have the Leviathans done to me? Have they changed me? Made me less? Am I not the same person I was Sam? I just...I want to know why he..." My voice broke as I wiped the tears away. I noticed Sam's knuckles turn white as he gripped the wheel.
"He did this Megan. Dean is the one to blame. Not you, never you." Sam ground out in a low voice. "You did nothing wrong. Please, please don't think it was you." Sam added softer as he glanced at me.
"I really love him. It just... it hurts so bad Sam, I just want it to stop hurting." I sobbed a little as I noticed the tears reach Sam's eyes too.
"It will, it's just going to take time." Sam said sadly as he looked at me.
"I can't be around him anymore Sam. I need to go, we finish this case and I'm in the wind." I said as the tears fell. It crushed me to walk away from the only family I had left, yet I knew I had to. I couldn't be around Dean. Not now. Not after this.
"I know. He knows." Sam answered as we pulled up to the university.
We went to the office of professor Morrison and noticed the light was still on. We walked in, Sam leading the way as the professor gave us a loud audible sigh fallowed by throwing his arms in the air.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding." He scoffed glancing at the clock. "I have office hours tomorrow-" He started to say.
"I'm sorry, Professor. We need your help." Sam cut him off as I passed him the parchment Sam and Dean had found amongst Bobby's stuff.
"The FBI isn't paying me enough for this." He muttered picking it up and examining the parchment. I glanced at Sam with a raised eye brow. The FBI aren't paying you jack.
"All right. I'll sweeten the deal. We'll remove your wiretap." Sam added making the professor look up at us both alarmed. I gave Sam a small smirk as Morrison went back to studying the paper.
"It's fascinating." Morrison hummed after half an hour of silence.
"What's it say?" Sam asked sitting forward in his chair.
"Oh, I haven't gotten there yet. The paper is handmade. A cellulose, rather like papyrus, which would explain its durability." Morrison explained annoying the hell out of me.
"Professor-" Sam started diplomatically,
"You know what, look we need it translated- now." I snapped glaring at Morrison as he sat mouth wide open.
"You're country would greatly appreciated it." Sam added trying to keep Morrison on our good side.
"Wherever did you get it?" Morrison asked Sam, keeping an eye on me as I shifted uncomfortably in the chair.
"Uh... a – a crazy, drunk, old genius." Sam answered thinking of Bobby. My heart saddened to think what Bobby would of made of the situation we found ourselves in. Bloody idjit Dean! That boy always thinks with his pants first. Want me to shoot him for you Honey? A sad smile crossed my face as I thought of what he would say to me.
"Yeah. They always have the good stuff. Well, it's in Greek." Morrison explained.
"No sh-" I muttered under my breath when Sam cut me off, loudly.
"Yeah, yeah. We-we know that." Sam said straight to the professor before raising an eyebrow to me.
"Not a common dialect. My God, what is it with you and Amazons?" Morrison asked looking up from the parchment.
"Professor, it's important." Sam pressed.
"At 11:30 at night, it better be. Oh, here's a new twist. It repeats the conventional lore. Amazon warriors mate with males. The males are murdered. Yada, yada. But according to this... It's not the women who do the killing. Instead, a ritual of initiation requires that the child born of the mating process must kill her own father." Morrison explained as both me and Sam shared a worried look.
"What?" Sam added as we thanked Morrison and made our way out of the building. Sam pulled out his phone as we rushed down the hall.
"We need to warn him." Sam said scrolling for Dean's number.
"This is... I'm about to save my cheating husband from his killer Amazonian daughter." I scoffed shaking my head as Detective Penn appeared out of no where making both me and Sam slightly startled.
"Detective." Sam said as Penn glanced at me.
"Agents. You're here late." Penn said looking at Sam.
"Yeah. Listen, could we talk in the morning?" Sam asked as we started to walk down the stairs. Penn grabbed Sam's arm as I reached the bottom step.
"What's your hurry Sam? Sam Winchester." Penn said and then looked down at me. "And of course Megan O'Connor."
"Sam?" I asked realising that we really needed to get to Dean. But at the same time I didn't want to leave Sam here alone.
"I got this. Go." Sam said seriously as he looked from Penn to me.
"You sure?" I asked as Penn watched us.
"Sure. Go." Sam said plainly as I just nodded and ran out of the door.
As I ran out of the door I was met by a woman with a long light brown hair. She was taller than me, in just a t-shirt and dark jeans. I noticed she had a scar on her wrist that matched the Amazons. I didn't expect Penn to be alone.
"You really wanna do this?" I asked smirking a little. A good fight would do me the world of good. I needed to release some of the rage that built in me and beating the shit of some Amazonian would do just nicely.
"I so do." She smirked as red flooded around her eyes making them dark and almost black. I stood up straight and nodded.
"Let me guess Amazon?" I asked with chuckle, taking off my jacket and throwing it to the floor.
"Right again." She smirked her eyes never leaving mine. "Lydia, you might have heard of me." She added knowing full well would recognise her name. I scoffed nodding my head a little.
"Oh so your the bitch who broke up my marriage?" I asked growling as I blinked and all the rage I felt snapped in side of me. I had changed and boy was I glad about that. I noticed the brief moment of surprise as Lydia noticed my eyes change.
"What can I say, I gave him everything you couldn't." Lydia smirked as I lowered my head and let out a deep animalistic growl. I hated this bitch with everything I had.
"This isn't going to last long. But it is going to hurt." I growled as we started to circle each other. Lydia grabbed a bronze blade from behind her back and readied herself.
"You know, I can still taste Dean on my lips." Lydia teased as I just saw red. I charged at her, the anger boiling over me. I speared her, pushing her whole body to the floor with an all might thud. I felt the air knock out of her lungs as I growled at her again. My hands found her throat as I felt something slide into my stomach. I didn't care. I had my hands tightening around her throat as she started to gasp for air. Her hands clawed at mine for a few moments before she gasped again. The need to survive kicked in and Lydia started to lay blow after blow into my ribs. The blows were powerful and I was sure I had a couple of cracked rips but I was seeing red and this bitch needed to die. I grunted as I felt a rib move and pierce something inside me. As I let out a howl I loosened my grip on her throat.
"Bitch!" I cried out as Lydia smirked up at me.
"Did that hurt?" She asked in a raspy voice as I glared at her. My hands wrapped tighter round her neck as I felt her hands pound against my body again. I growled as I broke each bone in her throat one at a time and watched as she was consumed by nothing but fear. Each gasp getting more and more alarmed and desperate. I lowered my face so that I could whisper into her ear.
"He was never yours. Emma, she's going to die in a much more bloody way. And don't worry, I'll make sure she knows the whore of a mother she came from is dead." I whispered with venom into her ear as I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes as her final breath escaped her lips, tears rolled out fear full eyes.
I sat straddled on top of her for a few more seconds as I made sure she was dead. A gunshot caught my attention as I looked over my shoulder to Sam who was running out of the building.
"Megan! Are you ok?" He asked as I got to my feet and wobbled into his arms.
"Yeah... I killed Lydia." I mumbled as Sam looked down at my chest. My white checked shirt had a large red stain with a bronze sword sticking out.
"She stabbed you!" Sam cried out looking at the sword.
"S'ok, I'm ok..." I slurred a little wrapping my hands round the handle and yanking it out in one go. "Crap! That hurt!" I cried out nearly dropping to my knees. The only reason I didn't fall was Sam's arm around my waist. I dropped the blood soaked blade next to Lydia and pressed on the wound. "It'll heal by the time we reach Dean." I slurred as I looked up at the younger Winchester.
"Come on, just keep the pressure on." Sam sighed as he wrapped his arm around me tighter and lead me to the car.
I must have passed out in the car because I woke shooting up and gasping for air. It felt like I my ribs were on fire and I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.
"Megan?! Hey, hey you ok?" Sam asked glancing at me as he weaved his way through the traffic.
"I hurt. Alot." I wheezed out as I bashed my head hard against the back of the seat. I looked down at my body and saw the damp red patch on my shirt. I slowly peeled it up and saw the red bloody mess on my stomach.
"You got stabbed pretty bad." Sam informed me, ducking two cars and receiving honks from both drivers. "You passed out as soon as I got you in the car." He added with a frown shot in my direction.
"She stabbed me." I muttered poking the area around the cut. It was healing, knitting back together slowly. "That bitch took my husband away from me and then stabbed me." I huffed wincing as I prodded a tender spot and hissed out.
"Are you going to be ok?" Sam asked running a red light.
"I can manage." I answered lowering my top and taking small sharp breaths in.
"We don't have time for macho crap." Sam grunted keeping his eyes focused on the road.
"I can get through the next fight, I can back you and Dean up." I answered closing my eyes as I felt a rib snap back into place. I bit my lip and screwed my fists up in hopes of making sure Sam didn't notice any of it. As I opened my eyes Sam was too busy throwing the car round a corner to notice. He pulled to a stop outside the motel and glanced at me.
"Good. Let's go." Sam nodded getting out of the car. I huffed and fallowed suit, making sure I had my knife in my boot and my gun down my back.
Sam and I ran up the stairs, I held my ribs as I fallowed him, the pain a constant reminder that I actually wasn't ready for round two with the Amazons. We reached the floor we were on and I fell behind Sam silently. We both drew our guns as I could hear Emma talking to Dean.
"It's weirdly hard, isn't it? It is for me." Emma said calmly.
"Knock it off." Dean snapped back from further in the room.
"How could it not be? You're my father." Emma replied making my blood boil.
"Hey! We're not gonna do that." Dean cried out.
"But it's true." Emma answered as I shook my head.
"What? Are they both in there?" Sam whispered as he glanced at me.
"Yeah, she's there alright." I huffed shaking my head again.
"You're the reason that we're standing here." Emma cried out as Sam lent closer to the door to hear what was going on. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. So now someone has to kill someone." Emma added as my heart race a little. Sam turned to me, his hand wrapped around the door handle. I nodded as he opened the door enough for us both to see Dean stood by the fridge with his gun pointed at Emma, it looked like Emma had something in her hand too. "You know what? So far, my childhood's been kind of disappointing." She scoffed at him.
"You haven't killed anybody yet, Emma. Walk away." Dean said plainly "Right now. I won't go after you." He added making Sam's eyes widen. I knew Dean wouldn't be able to kill his own daughter- monster or not she was still his deep down.
"I can't. I don't have a choice." Emma answered deadly serious as Sam burst into the room with his gun drawn. I was seconds behind him. As I walked in Emma was facing Sam with the same red glow round her eyes that Lydia had. Her face paled as she looked at Sam.
"You must be my Uncle Sam." She said throwing the whole innocent kid bit to Sam. "I never thought I'd get to actually meet you." She added standing so that she was facing both Winchesters. I noticed both of them waver, both Winchesters lowered their guns just a little but enough for Emma to think she had got them wrapped around her finger.
"Why? Did you think Detective Penn and your mum were going to kill us?" I growled keeping my aim true. She flashed her red eyes at me, making Sam raise his gun back up.
"Please don't let her hurt me. She doesn't understand." Emma begged Dean giving him the most vulnerable look she could muster. She turned back to face me and Sam, throwing the same look Sam's way when I pulled the trigger. One shot clean to the heart. Emma gasped in shock as she dropped the blade and fell to the floor dead. Dean nodded to the pair of us and looked away. I let out a sharp cry of pain as I dropped to my knees clutching my chest.
"Megan?" Both Winchesters called out at the same time. Sam was first to reach me as Dean dropped to his knees in front of me, hesitating about touching me.
"Lydia stabbed her." Sam informed Dean as his eyes went wide.
"I... I'm k... I'm ok." I wheezed out trying to keep from screaming out again.
"She stabbed you?!" Dean cried out, his hands moving my shirt up before I could argue.
"I broke her neck." I shrugged as he frowned at my stomach.
"There's no fresh blood." Dean hummed as Sam wrapped his arms around me, helping me to sit on the edge of the bed.
"She broke my ribs too." I wheezed out. "They're healing. I just... I can't..." I shook my head and screwed my face up.
"Are you going to be ok alone, if we go after the rest?" Sam asked rubbing small circles on my back.
"Go. Get them all." I hissed out waving a hand away from me.
I don't know how long the guys were gone but it was long enough for me to heal. I made my way to my room and started to pack everything up. I put away all my clothes and weapons, I had pack up my laptop and was just about to put the last couple of note books away when I photo fell to the floor. I bent down to pick it up and saw it was a photo of our wedding day. I paused as I looked at the happy smiling faces in that photo.
"Back then we thought nothing could tear us apart." Dean's voice came from behind me but I didn't move. The tears fell down my cheeks. "I never thought I'd be the one to break us up." He added bitterly. I brushed the tears away and turned to face him.
"Why?" I asked just above a whisper. "Why wasn't I good enough anymore?" I asked honestly, the water filling my eyes again.
"It's always been you." Dean said as a tear rolled down his cheek. "The first day I met you, I knew I'd be fighting to keep you in my life." He added walking over and sitting on one of the chairs. "Been fighting for years now." He added softly.
"I always thought it would be you and me." I admitted, looking over to him.
"I thought it would be too." Dean hummed, wiping the tear off his face. "But I fucked up. Man did I fuck up? I just couldn't keep it in my pants. I wish I could blame it on us. I wish I could say I couldn't keep fighting for us anymore. I wish I could say you didn't love me anymore. I wish I could say I didn't love you anymore..." Dean scrubbed his face as he got up and walked over to me.
"Why did you go that night?" I asked as he stopped, towering over me. His green eyes locked on mine as the hurt and guilt swirled in those perfect orbs. "Was I not enough? Am I wrong? Did I come back wrong?" I begged for an answer as the tears formed in my eyes. I pushed the lump out for my throat and shook my head. "I need to know Dean." I forced the words out strong but I was crumbling inside.
"I..." He gave me the saddest of smiles as he brushed some loose hair off my face. His hand rest on my cheek as he lent forward and kissed my forehead so damn softly it broke me in two. He took a step back and sighed. "I was mad. Mad that we kept fighting. I... I wasn't really thinking. She was there, arms open. No complications. It was simple."
"We were never going to be simple." I pointed out as I held out the photo to Dean.
"I know." He sighed, taking it from me. "It was just sex." He muttered looking at the photo sadly.
"I know." I nodded as I brushed the tears from my eyes.
"I love you." Dean blurted softly as I looked up at him in shock. "I'm a stupid bastard, I know I've hurt you badly. But I still love you Megan. Always have, always will."
"I love you too Dean." I said slipping off my wedding ring and passing it to him. "But love is just not enough for us anymore." I added as a sob escaped my lips.
"So that's it, for good?" He asked closing his hand around the ring.
"What do you want from me Dean?" I asked looking up at him and seeing the hurt. "I gave you everything I had! I love you more than life! I don't know what more I can give to make this work?!" I snapped shaking my head at him.
"I didn't mean-" Dean started to back track when I held my hand up for him to stop.
"This isn't working. It hasn't been since I came back. We both know it deep down. Lydia was just the wake up call we needed. I'm sorry Dean. Sorry I've put months of this crap on your shoulders." I said walking over and grabbing my bags.
"You're gonna just walk out on me." Dean snapped as I grabbed the last bag. "I'm sorry Megan! I am so damn sorry! It's killing me, eating at me and I don't know how to fix it! God! I love you so much! This is killing me!" He snapped as I looked up at him.
"We can't fix it Dean. Sorry just wont make things right this time." I said nodding at him as I walked to be shoulder to shoulder with him. "Be safe. Be smart and don't let the Leviathans catch you." I walked out the room, leaving behind the one man I loved. The one person who made me feel safe. The one person I would still give my life for. But he fucked up and I couldn't handle being around him. I had to leave. I had to hope that things would get better. That I could be as strong away from him as he made me feel when we were together.
One thing I knew for sure. I needed to kill some fucking monsters.