Hey everyone here's my next chapter- enjoy!
Three months ago I found out that Dean had cheated on me. With not just a woman, but an Amazon. The cherry on top was the fact she gave birth to his daughter. Not only had Dean cheated on me, breaking my heart into a million pieces, he managed to get her knocked up in the process.
The rage that fallowed turned into a constant pain, a dagger in my heart. It made me mad -violent. I wanted to rip the world apart with my bare hands. I could barely keep my wolf side in check. I had next to no control over it. The rage blinded me, I was seconds away from making a mistake I could never fix and guess who pulled me back from the brink? Dean freaking Winchester. He saved me when he wasn't even there.
I tried to talk to him, I called and wanted so desperately to open up about the way my heart was torn apart. But just like everything in our lives the supernatural got in the way again. He had called me back, but either I was in a hunt or not in the mood to talk. I tried to call him a couple of times but it was the same situation. He was busy on a hunt or just not picking up. Eventually we both stopped trying to call each other. Two months past and I hadn't heard from him.
Every couple of weeks Sammy had been calling or e-mailing me, just keeping in touch. After he realised I didn't want to talk about Dean anymore we drifted a little more. It had been nearly a month since I talked to Sam. I figured he had just given up talking to me too. It hurt that the only real family I had left had drifted so far from me. I was alone again. Alone and having to rely on just myself. It was an odd feeling, something familiar and comforting in the solitude.
I had been busy in my three months though. I stuck to the infamous O'Connor trick of working through everything and pushing the feelings deep, deep, down. I took any case I could catch and worked hard on finding anything remotely Leviathan based. It wasn't too hard to keep track of Roman Enterprises, Dick wasn't shy after all. But what he was really up to, what the plots of land meant... they were harder to track. After a little digging I found Dick had bought large land parcels up and down America. I had looked into it a little closer and saw that he had put in permission to build on them all. From the proposes I could find they were for medical research facilities. It didn't specify what medical research it was for, but from the size of the places and amount of grants being thrown at them, it was for something big.
"So you want me to believe that you, have no idea why Mr Roman has people going round all the best hospital this side of the Atlantic, recruiting the best medical staff money can buy?" I scoffed as I lent back in my chair. I was sat in a café interviewing a board of director of just one the hundred hospitals Dick had been legitimately hiring medical staff from. As far as I could tell these were real people too, not Leviathans.
"Look, I'm here unofficially because you flashed your damn badge in my office Agent Grey." Huffed Henry Ward, a balding fifty year old man, who I had scared into talk to me. "If anyone from the board finds me talking to you-" He grunted, his eyes darting around to make sure he wasn't being watched.
"Yeah, I know. But trouble." I waved a hand dismissively as I shook my head. "You know why he's hiring staff, all I'm asking is for you to pass that information onto me." I shrugged innocently before taking a sip of my coffee.
"Mr Roman has pushed so much money into... I mean the donations alone. Why is the FBI so interested in the man? He's practically a saint!" Mr Ward cried out as he started to get worked up. I forced myself not to reply to the saint comment, instead I let out a heavy sigh pinching the bridge of my nose.
"National Security, I told you." I groaned as I looked back over to Mr Ward. I was beyond playing games with this guy, he would give me the information I needed or I was going to make him. "Now look, you tell me everything you know about the hiring of medical staff for Roman Enterprises or I am going to make regular visits to your office, you house, the house of the woman you're sleeping with, the hospital, your favourite restaurant and even your mothers house, got me?" I asked leaning forward and putting a small snarl into my words. Mr Ward spluttered as he sat back in his seat. My phone began to ring in my pocket, I pulled it out and glanced back to Mr Ward. "You've got until I finish this phone call to decided exactly what you want to tell me." I growled getting up and walking away from the table but keeping Mr Ward in my sights. I watched as he squirmed nervously as I put the phone up to my ear. "Yeah?" I sighed out heavily. I just wanted to punch the man until he told me everything I needed to know. It's not the worst idea I could have... could be fun.
"Sam's in hospital." Dean's voice was barely above a whisper as my eyes widened with the words registering in my brain.
"He's hurt?" I asked confused, my brain coming up with a million scenarios of hunts gone wrong. Or worse Leviathans finding the pair and... No Megan... don't go there.
"Got hit by a car, the doctors patched him up but... but he's in a locked psychiatric ward." Dean explained and I could hear the fear in his voice. Something twisted in side of me, the fear in Dean's voice cutting deep into me. Damn it the man had such a hold over my emotions.
"Psychiatric ward? Wha- why?" I asked struggling to get all the pieces to fit together in my mind.
"Take a guess." Dean sighed out flatly and my stomach fell.
"The wall?" I gasped out not wanting to believe it. If the wall had fallen I could only dare to imagine what horrors Sam was seeing, going through. I had just a taste of what he was like just before the wall went up and it was enough to haunt me still. I hated to think what he was going through now.
"He's seeing Lucy 24/7, he hasn't been sleeping. The docs have give him sedatives but it's not enough to knock him out. They said they couldn't give him anymore... something to do with overdosing him." Dean grunted in frustration before pausing for a beat. "Megan, Sam's... He's... he's given up." Dean whispered the last part of the sentence, it was breaking Dean that Sam had given up. Sam wasn't a quitter and I knew something major had to happen to make Sam just give up. I rubbed my temple as I felt the familiar thumping of a Winchester headache build. It was going to be a long couple of days but there was only one thing I could do.
"Ok, ok, I," My eyes darted over to Mr Ward, he was still squirming. Damn it, I know I was getting close to answers! Family comes first though. "Text me the address of the hospital. I'll meet you there and we'll... we will hit the books, we'll call anyone who might know, someone who could help. We hit this hard and we fight for Sam." I nodded as the confidence flowed out from my voice, it was the exact opposite of what I was feeling and I honestly had no idea how to save Sam. Let alone how I was going to face Dean again.
"I didn't ring for you to come down Megan." Dean sighed loudly. "I just... I thought you should know." Those words ripped my heart apart. I lent against the wall and blew the air out of my cheeks. I shook my head as I tried to keep calm- it didn't work.
"You called just to let me know? This is Sam, this is Sammy! You think that I wouldn't come running to help?!" I snapped with all the anger I was feeling. "Either one of you guys get hurt and I'll be there! Idiot!"
"It isn't like we're on talking terms Megan." Dean grunted out as I heard him sigh. "This is the first time in months we've even talked." He pointed out, making that pain flare in my chest. He was right, it was the first time we had talked, but it was Sam it didn't matter.
"It's Sam, he's family!" I snapped brushing the hair out of my face in frustration. I would have probably punched Dean if he was stood in front of me in that moment.
"My family, not yours." Another twist in the heart from Dean Winchester ladies and gentlemen. I held my breath for a beat before letting it out slowly. My heart was crushing under the words of Dean. I couldn't believe how cruel he was being towards me.
"Someone once told me that family doesn't end with blood." I bit out a Bobby quote and shook my head. "So you listen to me Dean, I-can-do-this-all-alone-but-not-really Winchester, I am coming! You will text me that damn address or so help me, when I get there you'll be in a bed right next to Sam! You got me?!" I snapped pushing myself off the wall as I started to pace in a small circle. I heard a chuckle down the line and I couldn't help but let the smile crack out of my lips too. It instantly broke some of the rage that was building within me.
"I'll text you the address, just don't go all Hulk on me, ok?" Dean asked, the sadness returning to his voice as he let out a small sigh. "I don't know how to fix this Megan." He admitted to me and my heart felt like it was breaking all over again.
"That's why you called me." I smirked sadly as I clocked Mr Ward talking to a man I had seen round town. A man, I was certain was a Leviathan. "Shit." I muttered as Mr Ward pointed to me and the man, who was dressed in a sharp suit started to make his way over to me. My wolf sense's were going mental as my whole body was telling me to run as fast as I could. My stomach rolled as I realised I was way to under prepared to fight a Leviathan alone. I needed to run.
"Everything ok?" Dean asked as I bit my lip. The man was looking straight at me, his eyes locked on my own as he effortlessly made his way through the crowd of people towards me.
"I gotta run, text me the address." I rushed the words out of my mouth before ending the call and making my way to the exit as subtly as possibly. I could feel the Leviathans eyes on me as I darted past a couple of tables and reached the door. My heart was beating so loud in my ears I wasn't sure I could hear anything else. As I walked through the door, I took a second to glance over my shoulder, the Leviathan in the suit was making up the gap between us too fast. I let the door close before I took off in a sprint. I ran without looking back, I darted through a couple of side streets. As I ran I continued to check behind me. The pounding of my heart in my ears never leaving me as my feet made quick work of the path below them. I ran for twenty minutes, finally checking to see if I was being fallowed. There was no sign of the Leviathan but I knew I needed to get out of dodge pretty quickly.
I ran back to the motel and went straight to my room. As soon as I got in I grabbed my bags and started to pack them up. I was in a rush, I was stuffing everything I had into my two bags. I stuffed my gun into my duffel bag when the door to my room was kicked in. I turned, my hand grabbing the gun and had it aimed perfectly at the man who walked through the door. He paused resting the door as shut as possible, though it was hanging off it's hinges. He turned to me and smirked.
"Bullets wont hurt me." He laughed as I felt the fear rise in me. I knew too well what wouldn't work on a Leviathan unfortunately.
"You come for a chat?" I asked lowering my gun and dropping it by my side. It was useless anyway, so there wasn't much point in having it pointed.
"Megan, right? I mean you are on the Boss's list. He really thinks you are worth killing." The Leviathan chuckled as he walked into the room. The fear, the memories of that place gripped me like a vice. I couldn't move, my legs felt like they were in cased in cement as I just stood there utterly frozen. The pounding of my heart in my ears doubled as I felt utterly helpless in that moment.
"Little old me, who knew?" I shrugged, trying to act strong. Thankfully my voice came out a little cocky and so self assured. He started to walk over to me, a smug smile on his lips.
"Something about you being a one in a million." He continued as if he hadn't heard me talk. "So amazing that you can't be copied. I mean I get that is something pretty special, but really killing you for that reason alone doesn't sound too reasonable. All the effort I'm wasting while being here, I could be doing something so more productive with my day. But you gotta do what the Boss says right? Don't want to be bibbed." He shrugged as he stopped just in front of me. Each breath was an effort, I had to force myself to just breath with this monster so damn close to me.
"He wants me dead. He didn't tell you anything about me though?" I asked, my voice still strong as I tried to prolong death for as long as possible. My mind raced with the fear of ending right back in Purgatory, right back in my own personal hell.
"Yeah, he wants you dead, but not as much as those Winchesters. Hey, do you know where they are?" He asked smirking as if he already knew the answer. His eyes locked on mine as I felt the skin on my right arm being peeled off. I reassured myself it wasn't happening by putting my free hand over my forearm. No the skin was still there, my brain was just feeding into the fear that lived inside me. I watched the Leviathan glance to my forearm, a sick smile crossing his lips. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Damn it O'Connor get your shit together! Don't show weakness! I took a deep breath and held it, pushing the fear as far down as I could get it to go. I felt my legs loosen up, my heart beat fade from my ears. I knew it was still there but at least the fear wasn't controlling me.
"Sorry, can't help you Jaws." I chuckled confidently, lifting my chin as I balled my free hand up, letting it drop by the side of me. The Leviathan cocked an eyebrow as he noticed my hand.
"A fist? Pff ok, sure you can try." He mocked shaking his head. "I'll just get the address from your phone once I kill you." The Leviathan took a step close and I swung out with everything I had, all the wolf powers inside of me. He actually stumbled backwards a few feet. My heart started to race for a whole new reason as I blinked and let my wolf side free.
"Ok, ouch." He joked rubbing his jaw as he glared at me. "My turn." He hissed charging at me and throwing his shoulder into my chest. It knocked the air out of my lung as he threw me into a wall – hard. I crumbled into the ground, plaster from the wall falling onto me as I let out a groan. Before I could move he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me up off the floor, my gun falling helplessly.
"The Winchesters address." He barked in my face as I struggled to make the two images of him into one. I forced myself to focus the image into one as he snarled into my face. "NOW! Time is money!" He added so close to my face I thought he was going to take a bite out of me.
"221b Baker Street." I blurted out the only address I could think of and the Leviathan lowered me slightly, so that my feet were actually on the floor.
"Baker Street?!" He snapped with a malice chuckle before I felt his fist connect with my cheek. My head snapped to the side and once again my world was spinning. "I am not stupid! I'll just chomp down on you and get it from your damn phone!" He hissed as my head lulled to the side. I felt like I had been hit by a damn truck. My whole body was screaming out in pain and it was taking everything I had to keep my eyes open. From the corner of my eye I noticed the Leviathan snap his head back, I knew what was about to happen and my stomach dropped like a rock.
"No, no no! No, no!" I mumbled, the blood dripping from my bust lip. I clawed at his hand as his rows of teeth appeared and he snarled at the air. My heart jumped into my throat as I knew I had to do something and fast. His head turned and he lowered it to my body. I shot my left arm up, holding it across his mouth. His teeth sank into my skin and I let out a deep animalistic cry of pain. If I thought silver was painful, it was nothing to the way those teeth sank into my arm. The shot of pain rushed through my body as he began to clamp his teeth down round my arm. Don't let him kill you, not here, not now! Stay Alive! I jerked my feet up, using all the strength inside of me to push away from the Leviathan, my feet landed in his stomach as I torn my arm free from his bite, blood shot out in all directions as he stumbled backwards and I fell to the floor with a thud. I couldn't focus on the raw pain that shot through my arm, or the amount of blood I was loosing. I just had to get to my duffel bag. Move! Get Moving! I crawled across the floor and reached into the bag with my right hand, it instantly wrapped around the right weapon. I felt strong hands grasp at me as I was forcefully turned around. I took the momentum and used it as I was jerked around. I swung out with my machete and connected with his neck. His force gave me enough momentum to slice all the way through his neck in one quick flow. His head fell from his body as he let go of me. We both collapsed to the ground in heaps, his body leaking the black goo all over the floor as I panted hard.
"Shit! Damn it! That was too close!" I chastised myself as I caught my breath. I dropped the machete and took a look at my arm. I couldn't move the shirt arm, the blood was soaked into the fabric too much. But I could clearly see that there were six clear teeth points deep into my arm. I tried to move my fingers, they still moved but damn did it hurt. "Damn it! Stupid, stupid, stupid." I hissed hitting my head hard against the side of the bed. The bite was so damn deep, and it felt like it was constantly bleeding. My phone buzzed in my pocket, I pulled it out and saw it was Dean texting me the address for the hospital. "I need to get to Sam... this, will heal... I just need to move." I told myself as I looked around the chaotic mess that once was my room.
I grabbed the head and locked it a box, then tried my best to clear the bite up. I stitched up my arm the best I could, bandaged it, but it was still bleeding. I let out a heavy sigh as I covered it with a long sleeved black top. I cleaned up the mess in the motel room, dumping the Leviathans body in the nearest woods. I drove twenty miles in the wrong direction, until I found a deep lake. I dropped the box, head included, in the lake and then high tailed it to the hospital. There was no way I was going to be able to hide the cuts and bruises the Leviathan had given me, I just had to pray he believed whatever lie sprang to my lips when I saw him.
The drive to the hospital was painful. My body was healing the cuts and bruises from the fight. Things clicked back into place, skin knitting back together. I was used to the pain, used to how utterly surreal it all felt but as I pulled up to a stop light, I rolled my sleeve up. The big bulky bandage was decorated in red patches. It was still bleeding. I frowned as I ghost a hand over the bandage.
"Why aren't you healing?" I muttered to myself. I mean sure I knew it would probably take a while to heal, the bite went all the way to the bone, and ripped so much muscle I was surprised I could move my fingers still. But I knew that it should have at least stopped bleeding. I frowned as the light turned to green and I continued down the road. As I drove I felt a blast of heat work from my inside out. The blast rushed through my body so violently that I had to pull over. I felt the bile rise and I just made it out of my baby before throwing up on the side of the road. I felt dizzy as I stumbled onto my knees and continued to throw up until there was nothing left in side me. I dropped back onto my heels and swiped at my forehead, the sweat matting my hair to my face.
"Shit. Get it together O'Connor!" I grumbled as I wiped the sweat off my face with the back of my sleeve. "Sam! Sam is waiting for you. Get up. Get in the car. Get moving!" I growled as I tried to get to my feet. I wobbled and quickly fell back onto my knees as I panted hard. The world was spinning as another blast of heat rushed through me, quickly fallowed by some dry heaving. My stomach ached, I was sure I had pulled some muscles as finally the world returned to it's natural stated. My bile was staying in my stomach and I felt like I could move again. I slowly made my way over to my baby and lent again the side as the cool air brushed against my face, cooling me. I looked down at the bandaged arm, it was more red than white now. I knew something bad was happening. I just didn't have time to take care of myself. I had to get to Sam and Dean. I had to help them. I climbed into the car and let out a shaky breath as I started my baby and pulled back onto the road.
I dropped Dean a quick text as I pulled up to the hospital. There was an Impala sat out there waiting for me. It wasn't baby, but it was close, a deep navy blue colour. The pain of healing had done a great job of distracting me from the fact I was about to see my cheating ex-husband again. But as I pulled up the realisation of the situation hit me- hard. I started to panic. My heart was racing as I gripped the wheel as tightly as I could with one hand. Dean. I'm about to see Dean again. I haven't... I can't even... He cheated on me. Got a daughter. He had everything I could never give him. He cheated on me. Slept with her... I've barely talked to him. I can barley... how do even stand next to him? How can I even-
All thoughts vanished as I saw Dean get out of the Impala. His whole body language screamed defeat. His head was down, his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked so... alone. I watched as he just leaned against the Impala, lost in his own thoughts.
"I do this for Sam." I said aloud and felt my mouth go dry. I licked my lips and felt the sting from the side the Leviathan had bust open. I stole a glance of myself in the rear view mirror. I looked rough. I looked battered and beaten, and pale. I knew Dean was bound to notice, but I half hoped he was too occupied with Sam to really question it. I held my breath as I slowly climbed out of the car, my whole body protesting the movement.
"Sorry I took so long." I groaned out as I closed the door and he walked over to me. My heart jumped into my throat as I watched him walk over to me and stop short. He stop just a little further away than he used to. It hurt. It actually hurt that he was keeping himself away from me. I frowned as I took him in. I was right, he looked defeated and exhausted. I wasn't sure if he was getting any rest at all. The world seemed to knocking him off his feet every two seconds. And I was just another of those knocks. His green eyes seemed so dull as they took me in, my whole being in one soul crushing look.
"Bad fight?" Dean asked softly his green orbs settling on my own eyes, there was an emotion playing behind them but he was doing his best to hide it from me. I broke his gaze and brushed the hair out of my face, thankful that he hadn't notice the slight bulge to my left forearm. I looked back up and gave his a quick smile, one my lip protested.
"They got a few lucky punches." I winced as I rolled my shoulders, instantly regretting it. I screwed my face up at the pain and blew the air out of my cheeks as I looked back to Dean.
"Just a few?" Dean asked cocking an eyebrow as I let out a sigh. There was something in the way he said it, a tension under the surface of his words. It put me slightly on edge.
"Yeah, just a few." I bit back harsher than I intended and watched as Dean coiled back into himself a little. But there was some level of judgement in his green eyes, that some how I should be totally honest with him.
"Not many things can do that." Dean took my tone on the chin and pressed the issue.
"Not many." I echoed his words as I let out a grunt. We weren't here to talk about how badly I got my arse handed to me, nor who did it. I looked down at my bandaged arm, now hidden by a jacket and the long sleeved black top. This is harder than I thought. Maybe I should just go... I'm sure we could do the research separately anyway. Maybe it would be faster apart. I just... I don't know how to be around him anymore.
"You kill it?" Dean asked frowning at me slightly and snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up and caught that emotion he had tried so hard to keep from me. He was worried about me, he still cared about me. Knowing that, just added to the cutting pain deep in my chest. I'm here for Sam. He's hurting and needs my help. Sam.
"Yeah." I huffed and turned my attention to the hospital. It looked like any other hospital I had seen in America. "So Sam?" I asked, looking back, seeing the hurt and fear in Dean's eyes. In just two words his whole body language had changed.
"He... I can't go back in there. Not without something... not without some way to fix him." There was so much emotion threatening to break out, something Dean rarely did. He shook his head and looked away from me. "I um, I told the doctors that you're family. They'll let you in." Dean added before I could say anything. It was tearing him apart and I didn't need my wolf powers to see it. He was so broken and it cut right to the bone for me. I felt the twinge in my heart as all my emotions for Dean mashed into one. I wanted so badly to reach out and hold him, tell him that we'd fix it. That it was all going to be ok. But I didn't. I stood there and watched as Dean pulled on everything that made him a deadly hunter. That same old trick he did to try and protect himself from the pains of the real world. I frowned, knowing him so well, and knowing how badly this was hurting him.
"We will find something." I said firmly, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder without thinking. Dean looked from my hand to my eyes and smiled. It just didn't quite reach his ears though. I knew deep down he was worried that maybe, there just wasn't a way to fix him this time.
I walked into the hospital and found Dr Kadinsky, who was Sam's doctor. He was a small, balding, older chubby man with a round face and round glasses. I greeted him with a warm smile, and watched as his eyes darted over the cuts on my face.
"Dr Kadinsky, I'm Sam Smith's cousin." I introduced myself, holding out my right hand to shake. Dr Kadinsky paused, still cataloguing all the cuts that decorated my face and exposed skin.
"Ah, yes Dean told me you were coming." He shook my hand and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, are you ok?" He added with a frown as I gave him a gentle smile. I licked my lips and felt the sting from where it was bust again.
"I was in a car crash a couple of weeks ago. I know, I look bad, but I had to come and see Sam." I lied like a pro and watched Dr Kadinsky lap it all up.
"I see. I'm sorry. You're family really are having a rough time of it at the moment." He quickly cleared his throat and led me down a corridor. "You are aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?" He asked carefully, as I nodded slowly. Full-blown psychotic episode? Being locked in with Lucifer sure would do that to anyone... if they survived. I'm just surprised his not some babbling mess on the floor.
"I, um, yes. Dean explained it... but I just... It's Sam, you know?" I shrugged helpless for words as I let my emotions run through the words. "I had to come see him, see how he actually coping." I admitted as a pang of guilt hit me.
"I understand, how long has it been since you've seen him?" The doctor asked as he buzzed us onto a high security ward. I made a note of the combination for the door as we passed through it.
"Three months now. Time just gets away from us." I admitted feeling the guilt tripled inside me. I felt so guilty for not being there for Sam. I should have kept in better contact with him, maybe I could have seen the signs. Maybe I could have helped him out sooner. Maybe I could have stopped it happening. I bowed my head as those guilty thoughts bounced around. Dr Kadinsky put his hand on my left arm and I snatched it back, muffling a cry out pain. Even his touch was too much for my arm. As I cradled it to my body I just knew it would be bleeding again. Dr Kadinsky looked at me utterly shocked and confused.
"My arm was hurt worst." I hissed out as I cradled it against my chest and I tried to keep from punching him straight in the face.
"Oh, I am terribly sorry- I, I didn't know." He stumbled through an apology as I cradled the arm, letting the pain dull back to a throbbing level. I just nodded as I felt the sleeve of my top get damp and stick to the jacket. Great busted stitches... yay. Not. "I just, I need to warn you that the Sam in there may not be the same Sam you remember." He warned as his eyes drifted to the door we found ourselves stood out side of. My heart raced a little as I looked at the door and wonder just what I was about to face.
"I know. I just need to see him." I whispered out promising myself that I would find a way to help Sam out, to make him better even if I had to find Death himself.
"I'll be waiting outside." The doctor explained, opening the door for me. I held my breath as I walked in and saw Sam laid on the bed, his back against the top. His eyes seemed glazed over and if I thought Dean had looked exhausted, then Sam was taking it all to a new level. He slowly turned his head to me as I cracked a small smile.
"Hey Sam." I said warmly as I sat on the side of the bed next to him.
"Megan. What are you... Dean called you?" Sam asked surprised, but his words were slightly slurred, his exhaustion was too easy to see. It hurt seeing Sam so broken like this.
"Yes he did." I smirked and licked my cut. The shot of pain stopped me from crying, because in all honestly I just wanted to cry and hug Sam.
"Least I got you two to talk again." Sam tried to laugh, but it came out flat. He turned his head behind me and listened to a voice that wasn't just there. A frown forming on his face as he seemed to dislike what the voice was saying. I turned over my shoulder but I couldn't see anything, sense anything there.
"You know, I'm getting the feeling we've done this before." I joked softly as Sam turned his attention back to me. There was a pained look on Sam's face and I gave him a sympathetic smile. "He talking to you a lot then?" I asked biting my lip softly. Again the pain helping me keep a handle on my emotions.
"All the time. If I close my eyes I'm just back in the pit. He won't let me sleep." Sam huffed as he rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. I hesitated as I watched Sam screw his face up in an attempt to be more awake.
"You try the hand thing?" I asked looking at the scar on his palm.
"A long time ago." Sam answered, shaking his head slowly. "I can't get rid of him. I know his not really- him." Sam added sadly. I put my hand over his and gave it a small squeeze.
"We'll fix this." I said looking straight into his dull green eyes. They were nothing like Sam's eyes, I could see the defeat in them, the defeat Dean had told me about. Sam scoffed pulling his hand back as I raised an eyebrow. His eyes darted to the table behind me again before slowly drawing them back to me.
"Dean said the same thing." He scoffed shaking his head slowly.
"You don't believe us?" I asked carefully, a hint of a challenge in my voice.
"There is no way to cure this." He sighed, sitting forward. "This isn't something we can just fix. My soul has been Lucifer's play thing for too long. He did... he's doing things that I can't- My soul is this torn and battered thing. Putting it back inside me, the wall failing, it was bound to happen Megan. We had no idea what we were doing. What it could do to me. It was bound to break, this was bound to happen eventually. It's just going to get worse and I'm going to die. The sooner the pair of you realise the better." He explained, the defeat clear in his voice as he looked straight into my eyes. I frowned as I shook my head. I had to look away from Sam, the way he was talking. The defeat that was just rolling off of him, I understood exactly how Dean felt because I was feeling the same way.
"There is always something Sam." I replied trying to give him some light to hold onto. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You know when it comes down to the line we always pull something out of the bag." I added with a sad smile. Sam let his hand slip out of mine.
"You're as stubborn as him." Sam sighed as he lent back down against the top of the bed.
"We can't just give up. You're family." I whispered sadly, my eyes welling up. I darted my eyes down and pulled my emotions back in check. The room was silent, but as I looked up, Sam was listening to the voice behind me again, his face screwing up. "What's he saying now?" I asked plainly making Sam turn to me, the same frown on his face aimed at me.
"You're arms bleeding on my bed." He stated as I glanced down. As I looked I noticed a few red dots in a pattern.
"Crap! Sorry." I shot up and pulled my arm closer to me. I moved too fast, I felt dizzy from the sudden moment and had to grab hold on the end of the bed to steady myself.
"Who did that to you?" Sam asked puzzled for a second. I shook my head and let out a small sigh. The last thing Sam needed to know was that the Leviathans had been hunting me again.
"We're here for you Sam. Once you're fixed, I'll tell you all about it." I promised as I walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Just don't give up, just yet." I begged as I gave him a sad smile and walked over of the room. My heart lurched leaving him alone with his own personal Devil. He was a broken man, in more ways that one and I wasn't exactly sure how the hell to help him. But damn it he is family, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to give it my best shot.
I took a moment to collect myself. Dr Kadinsky was right, the Sam in that room wasn't the Sam I remembered. He had given in to the Devil on his shoulder. He had given into the pain and despair. He just wanted to die. He just wanted it all to end. I let out a heavy sigh as I ran a hand through my hair. This was going to be tougher than I thought. Dr Kadinsky gave me a leaflet about dealing with the situation and internally I chuckled. If only there was something about dealing with this situation. I gave him my thanks before heading out of the hospital and back to the cars. As I walked back I felt the heat roll through my body again. I stopped dead and clamped my eyes shut, riding it out.
"Not now. Not now." I ground out the words as I fought through the feeling, it quickly passing, with me thankfully not throwing up my guts. I got back to the cars and found Dean sat in the Impala, he was zoned out. I could feel the worry and confusion wash from him. He was hurting bad. It was killing me. I softly knocked on his window and he got back out of the car. He was exhausted and my heart was breaking seeing him so lost.
"You see him." Dean stated more than asked as his eyes drifted over to the hospital.
"Yeah, he's..." I paused and shook my head. We both knew he had given up, there was no point saying it again. "We just need to pull something out of our arses." I confidently declared as Dean turned back to me, a hint of a smile on his face.
"You got any idea where to start?" Dean asked as he lent back against the Impala. I shrugged and instantly regretted it as the pain darted down my spine. I winced at the pain and Dean noticed. "How bad did you get beat?" He frowned pushing himself off the car, moving forward to check me out - but then hesitated. We both noticed as he just stopped short, folding his arms over his chest awkwardly.
"Bad enough." I huffed rubbing my left shoulder softly. "Where do you want to start with this?" I asked changing the topic as I caught the look Dean gave me. He was hard to read at the moment but I swear I saw the worry as he looked at my cuts and bruises.
"The cabin, we hit the books." Dean grunted before turning so he was fully facing me. His expression softened as his eyes met mine. "Thanks Megan, for showing up." He added before quickly ducking into the Impala.
We drove back to the cabin and I felt my stomach twist as I pulled up. I hadn't been back to the cabin since we lost Bobby. I sat in my car and wondered what Bobby would have made of us all if he could see us now. I knew exactly what Bobby would have said. "You bloody idjits, what do you think you're doing splitting up! Seriously how many damn times do I have to tell you! Balls! We'll be damned if we're going to let Sam get beat by some damn day dream! Pull your fingers out of your asses and fix this!" I sad smirk crossed my lips as I imagined him chewing us all out.
"God I wish you were here now Bobby..." I sighed softly to myself before getting out of my baby and walking to the boot. I went to open it with my left hand but the pain just shot through my arm into my body. "Bastard!" I growled in a deep animalistic tone. The pain was as raw as the moment the Leviathan had bit into my arm. I breathed through the pain as it dulled down slightly. I used my right hand and popped the trunk, grabbing my bags before slamming the boot down. Dean got out of the Impala as I walked over to him.
"I, um... I got the spare room ready, thought you could crash there." Dean muttered as he opened the door for the both of us. Walking past Dean into the cabin was the closest I had been to him since I walked out. My heart raced with a fixture of fear and love being so damn close to him. There was a part of me that just wanted to stop, turn and pull him into a hug. I just wanted to be held by him. He cheated, this pain in your heart- yeah he did that. He hurt us bad, really bad. Don't fall for it all over again- idiot. As I walked in all I could smell was Bobby, the whole cabin just smelt like Bobby. Oil, grease, books and whiskey. It was the smell of Bobby Singer, and instantly it made me feel safe. I let out a soft sigh as a smile crept onto my features. I stood there and looked around the place. It didn't look any different from when I left the last time. Books scattered out everywhere, half finished bottles of beer dotted around, notes on Leviathans, the fridge with a strange protection mark just above the handle. No this was as close to home as I had. This was safe, this made me feel safe. As I looked around my eyes landed back on Dean who was just watching me.
"Um, thanks." I softly answered and silently made my way to the spare room.
I dropped the bags on the bed and heard Dean moving around in the living area. It sounded like he was cleaning up. I smirked, realising he probably was since I was the first woman to step back in the cabin since- I frowned. Since he cheated. Since we lost Bobby. Since everything started to fall apart. Choose your poison.
"Hey you need anything to eat?" Dean called out snapping me away from my thoughts.
"I'm good. I just need to freshen up then we can hit the books!" I shouted back moving to grab my first aid kit from my duffel. I grabbed a spare long sleeved top and made my way to the only bathroom in the cabin. As I walked to the bathroom I caught sight of Dean cleaning up. I smirked, shaking my head a little. Called it.
I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, making sure I locked it. I dropped my things on the side and pulled my jacket off much to the protest of my whole upper body. I grabbed my top and pulled it over my head, letting it drop to the floor with a damp thud. I frowned as I sat on the edge of the bath and looked at the bandage. It was covered in blood. I let out a sigh as I carefully and so damn slowly peeled it off my arm. As I got closer to the skin I felt it pull.
"Bastard! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!" I cried out as softly as I could but damn it, the pain was so bad. I managed to get the last of the bandage off and let it drop into the sink, with a sickening wet thud. I looked down at my arm. Six clear, deep marks were looking right back at me, not to mention the deep gashes the led away from them off my arm. The blood was still weeping out. The stitches I had put in did nothing to help. It was a mess. There was no two ways around it. It was a bloody mess. I grabbed a towel and started to clean off the blood. As I started to clean up the wound, the pressure I was applying made my vision double. I started to pant as I felt the heat rush through me again. Knowing what was about to happen I dropped everything and hugged the toilet as I started to throw up again. My world spinning violently off its axis, as the heat rushed through me in waves. I don't know how long I was throwing up, hell I didn't know I had that much left in side me.
"Hey, you ok in there?" Dean called through the door as he knocked loudly. I groaned loudly, lifting my head as everything in my vision blurred slightly. I was not doing ok.
"Yeah... just...need a minute. Honestly." I called back, hoping that Dean would buy the half arsed lie I was giving him. I felt like my body was on fire as the cool porcelain was doing next to nothing to cool me. I watched as the shadow at the bottom of the door stayed in place. Dean was still stood there. I groaned as I thought I was about to throw up again.
"You don't sound ok. Maybe I should come in?" Dean called through the door, as he tried the handle. My heart jumped into my throat.
"No!" I shouted with blind panic. "No, I'm naked and you can't come in!" I added as I sat up straight and shook my head until my vision returned to the singular.
"I've seen you naked before." Dean counted with a chuckle as I flushed the toilet. Get it together O'Connor, Sam needs you! You haven't got time to sit on the floor and feel sorry for yourself!
"No, just go away so I can get cleaned up." I begged as I felt so weak. I just wanted to collapse into a nice warm bed, but I had to help Dean, I had to find some way to fix Sam.
"Fine! Just... don't take all day about it." Dean grunted as I watched his shadow leave the door. I let out a relieved sigh as I went back to the sink and picked up the towel. The blood still staining everything in the sink.
"Come on, people are depending on you." I grunted as I started to clean up the bite the best I could.
I finally got my arm cleaned up, put in new stitches and bandaged it up again. I slipped on a deep navy blue long sleeved top and cleaned up the bathroom. I caught one last glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was getting paler. This is bad... maybe I should come clean... maybe I should tell Dean I'm hurt.... No. He won't let you help if you tell him! I have to help! I have to find some way to fix Sam and get away from these guys. They don't need this. I don't need them. I just... I'm just here because I can help. I walked out of the bathroom and put my things back in the bedroom. I grabbed my laptop, tucking it under my arm, pulled my hair loose and walked into the living area. Dean was sat on the edge of the sofa going through a journal, when he heard me walk in he snapped his head up.
"I was beginning to think you'd fallen in." He joked grabbing his beer from the side and taking a sip.
"Yeah, well you can't rush perfection Dean." I half joked as I walked round and sat next to him on the sofa. I looked over everything but I could feel his eyes on me. He was studying me. I tilted my head to the side and met his breathtaking green eyes.
"You want to tell me what happened to you?" He asked frowning at me. "I heard you throwing up in the bathroom."
"Cracked ribs, bruised stomach, bust lip, god knows what else." I admitted as I looked back down at the pages laid out on the coffee table. "Took one hell of a beating, and I honestly don't know how I walked away from it." I added plainly as I realised just how lucky I was for walking away from the fight with the Leviathan. Werewolf or not, I didn't know of anything that could survive one on one with one of those bastards.
"What happened?" Dean asked leaning forward and catching my eye. I turned to face him, he was so damn keen to know. Waves of concern and worry washed over me as I felt him care about me. I gave him a small smile.
"Set up. Got jumped. My own fault." I nodded slowly, my finger rubbing against the now almost healed lip. Don't let him fool you, sure he cares... enough to get into your pants. He doesn't love you... he cheated. He broke our heart. Don't be foolish and let him back in. Don't do it. I let out a sigh, listening to the voice in my head. "I killed it. That's the point, right? I mean I killed it and now I'm here. So let's just... work." I nodded back to the table as Dean screwed his face up.
"No, I just... I can't just ignore the fact you look like hell." Dean snapped getting up and walking away from me. "You're hurt - pretty damn bad Megan! There is literally a handful of things that could hurt you this bad. All of them not good! I just-" Dean sighed loudly running a hand through his short hair. His locked on mine for a beat as we just looked at each other. "Are you ok?" He asked softly looking so lost and hurt, I knew half it was my fault. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head.
"I'm healing." I admitted and met his gaze again, getting to my feet. "I didn't show up to... to play happy families Dean. We're not-" I paused as I felt the sharp pain in my chest again. I pushed past the lump in my throat and the crushed look on his face. "I'm here for Sam. To fix Sam. Just like you'd show if I was hurt, or Sam would. I'm here to help, I don't- I can't have this kind of conversation with you Dean. We're not the same people we were the last time we stood here." I admitted as I felt the tears spring into my eyes. I fought back the lump in my throat as I looked back down to the table. I couldn't look at Dean. It felt like I was breaking into a million pieces just standing there in front of him.
"Ok," The raw emotion of his voice, it was a stab in the heart. He cleared his throat as he moved back round to me. "I've um, I've started looking through Bobby's journal, calling anyone who can help. You might wanna start searching for... something to do with the wall Death put up. Maybe we can... can rebuild it?" Dean muttered as he picked up Bobby's journal and glanced at me. I met his eyes and saw the raw pain. He was hurting as badly as I was.
"Yeah, I'll start there." I whispered, grabbing my laptop and opening it up as we both sat on the edge of the sofa in forced silence.
We spent most of the day just working through the journals Bobby had. Dean sat calling up any number in the books, for anyone who could help. I sat by his side searching through all the miracle cases of people healing, trying to see if I could find some way to apply it to Sam and his situation.
"I'm a friend of Bobby Singer's. I'm looking for some info. If you could, uh, call me back. 785-555-0128. Thanks." Dean huffed as he crossed off a name from the list he had formed. He turned to me and I gave him a small smile.
"We will figure this out, I promise." I tried to be comforting. I wasn't sure how the hell we were meant to fix Sam. From the couple of hours of research every miracle cure I had seen had turned out to be a fake.
"I sure hope so." Dean sighed rubbing a hand over his face.
"We always end up playing a Hell Mary." I smirked as he turned to me again and nodded tiredly.
"Yeah... yeah I guess you're right." He hummed as he picked up his phone and continued to call the numbers on his list. We both continued to work for a few more hours. I had moved on from miracle cures to just plain old hoodoo that could work. I knew there had to be something, some magical way of fixing Sam. I didn't understand enough about the spell work to try and use any of it on Sam. I frowned as I moved onto the next option. I was reading about Doc Benton, some weird arse guy who cut up bodies and harvested them to prolong his own life. From the notes Sam had scribbled down he was looking into Doc Benton to discover if there was some way to save Dean from his deal that led him to Hell. Sam's notes stated that Doc Benton's methods were surprisingly scientific and would prolong life... but they wouldn't help in a case of the supernatural. I was so engrossed in Benton's work. I mean that guy had discovered the key to eternal life. I was snapped out Dean's raised voice.
"I am so sorry to have bothered you!" Dean snapped sarcastically before throwing his phone down and aggressively crossing out the name on his pad.
"So I take it, they weren't helpful?" I asked with a smirk as Dean huffed shaking his head at his phone.
"The guy was a jerk!" He snapped scoffing as he turned to me. "Told me he only works with people he knows, and that it didn't matter if we both knew Bobby."
"Dick!" I scoffed shaking my head.
"I know!" Dean huffed getting up and walking over to the fridge.
"Least there's a couple more names to call." I pointed out as he turned to me with two beers in his hands.
"Two names. Two names left to call Megan... I mean have you even..." He let his sentence die as he walked over and passed me a beer. I huffed opening mine and taking a sip.
"I've ruled out a lot... but no." I admitted as he slumped down next to me. "But it doesn't mean we won't figure it out. Hell Mary remember." I nudged him with my right shoulder and winced a little as the dull pain ran through my back.
"Turn around." Dean huffed as he put his beer on the table.
"Excuse me?" I asked arching an eyebrow, and fighting off a smirk. I hid it behind the beer.
"I'm looking at your back. Turn around." He ordered pointing to the wall behind me. I wanted to argue. I wanted to say that it just wasn't something we did anymore, but I didn't. I was exhausted. I needed rest. I needed to heal. I needed to know I was healing. I let out a fake annoyed sigh and made a big deal of turning around.
"You know, your meant to take me out for a meal first." I muttered as I felt Dean move my top up. I felt his hands move, one holding the top up by the base of my neck as the other ghosted over my spine. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I felt butterflies in my stomach. I forgot how gentle he could be when he wanted to be. How soft and caring Dean was. How much I really loved him.
"Well maybe your a cheap date." Dean joked making me open my eyes and actually laugh.
"Says you Winchester." I bit back smirking, making Dean laugh a little too.
"These look pretty bad." Dean commented as he pushed on a tender spot. I sat up straight and huffed a little. "Looks like they're healing though." He added as he dropped my top back down. I turned to him and gave him a sleepy smile.
"Thanks Doc." I teased and met his emerald green eyes. We sat for a beat, just looking into each others eyes. I love him. I know he loves me. But he cheated... how do I get past that? I mean can I? No! No you don't have to! He hurt you bad! No don't let him entice you back! He hurt you back Megan... this pain in your heart- all thanks to him! I blinked, as the pain in my heart fluttered and cleared my throat. I picked up my laptop and continuing to search for something, anything to help Sam. Dean called the next couple of names on his list. We had been working nearly all day, and it had been two days since I had got any rest, let alone sleep. But I wasn't going to stop until Dean did. We had to do this for Sam. He'd do the same of either of us in a heart beat.
"Yeah. Thanks." Dean sighed as he crossed out the last name in the journal. I watched as he picked up a smaller journal and flicked through it. He let out sigh and tossed it back onto the table. "You need another?" He asked picking up his empty beer.
"I'm good." I hummed as he got up and headed to the fridge. I got up and groaned, my whole body stiff from being in the same position for so long. I fallowed Dean over to the kitchen. "But I think I need a coffee." I admitted, hiding a yawn as I reached him. Dean turned to me and gave me a warm smile, he caught the yawn.
"You can go rest if you want to." Dean suggested as I turned on the kettle.
"You too." I nodded with a small smile. That's when I felt it. Bobby?! Bobby are you actually here? Don't be messing with me today! Bobby?! I snapped up straight as my eyes darted around the room looking for him.
"Megan what can you-?" Dean started to ask when the smaller journal Dean had just been looking at, was pushed onto the floor, a card falling out of it. As soon as I sensed Bobby the feeling went and I was left feeling lost. We both looked at it and then at each other. "Did you knock the table?" Dean asked seriously as he turned to me.
"Um... no. I'm pretty sure... I didn't." I muttered as we walked over and looked at the card that fell out. Dean picked it up and looked confused. It was for Mackey's Taxidermy, as he turned it over he saw it had a number on the back of it, with call it written in Bobby's handwriting.
"Should we?" Dean asked looking over to me.
"Can't hurt... right?" I asked as he hit the number into his phone.
"Yeah, hi. Uh... my name's Dean. I'm a friend of Bobby Singer's. I'm, uh, looking for some info. If you could call me back at 785-555-0128. Thanks." Dean left the message and then turned to me.
"Hell Mary?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.
"Hell Mary." Dean echoed as his eyes fell onto the card again.
We had waited hours on the guy calling us back. I was laid on the sofa with my laptop resting on my stomach, Dean was sat in the chair opposite me on a laptop as well. It was around 3 in the morning and we still hadn't taken a real break from researching. I had resorted to fringe Christian websites that claimed to heal anything. Though if I was honest I was on the website because it was so damn bright with lots of flashing lights that were just keeping me awake. I was lost in the bright colours when I heard Dean shift in his seat and clear his throat.
"Why did you look so surprised just before the journal fell over?" Dean asked aloud as I read the blog of a Paster from Hawaii. Apparently the good Paster knew how to save you from Satan to sunburn. He claimed he could heal anything from sunburn to a full blown case of being mute.
"Hmm?" I replied to Dean. I wasn't really paying attention, honestly I was trying to stay awake. There were little angels on the background flittering around, for some reason they caught my attention.
"Megan?" Dean spoke slightly louder as I turned to him confused. Clearly whatever he had said was important.
"Sorry, what?" I asked softly, before yawning. I scrubbed my face as I tried to focus on him and the words coming out of his mouth.
"The journal, why did you jump before it fell?" Dean asked as his green orbs drilled into mine. I shifted slightly, the intensity of his gaze could be difficult to cope with at times. He was watching me with so much concentration that I felt self conscious.
"I just... I dunno." I sighed loudly, running a hand through my hair. "I thought I sensed something... but I'm so damn tired. I don't know. I just need some sleep." I mumbled through a couple more yawns as I looked back at the screen. The angels had changed direction now.
"What did you sense?" Dean asked seriously. I glanced over my shoulder, he had put his laptop aside and was completely focused on me. He was taking it too serious, way too serious for my liking.
"I'm tired... I've been up nearly three days Dean. Forget it. Just forget it, honestly I was just...tired." I pleaded knowing that I couldn't have really picked up on Bobby. I knew it had to be me just being exhausted and beaten. I had run all the tests I could think of the first time I had felt Bobby around me and got nothing. Back then I knew it had to be because I was grief stricken, this time- it was because I was exhausted. My wolf powers just acting up because I needed a rest. Yeah there is absolutely no way that it was Bobby... except... it damn well felt like him. It was his touch on my arm, he was here, pushing the journal on the floor. It had to be Bobby because I felt him here. I don't know... maybe I am exhausted. If you wanna give me another sign?
"Please, tell me." Dean pleaded softly as I glanced at him again. There was something in his eyes. He was begging for me to say something he had thought for a while now. Does Dean feel it too? Has he, I mean could he sense Bobby around too? I opened my mouth to speak when Dean's phone rang. Dean answered the phone putting it on speaker. "This is Dean." He sighed shaking his head a little.
"Mackey. Calling you back. Hey. Real sorry about Bobby." The guy sounded like he had a Southern accent. At the mention of Bobby, Dean darted his eyes to mine.
"Yeah, me too." Dean sighed running a hand over his face.
"Look, what you called about – I might have something for you. There's this guy. He goes by Emmanuel. He kind of roams. First started hearing about him a couple of months back. How he was healing the sick, curing the crazy." Mackey explained as I moved my laptop and sat up on the sofa, swinging my legs around.
"Uh-huh." Dean watched as I moved stiffly, my body was still sore but it was healing - thankfully.
"Naturally, I think something in the milk ain't clean. Find this sucker, punch his clock. Right?" Mackey asked down the line.
"Right." Dean answered plainly.
"Heard the best way to get to him is through his wife, Daphne, out in Colorado? So, I go. Tell her I'm going blind. It's true. My right eye's burnt out. She says, Go home. He'll come. So, I go. I set every trap, every test in the book." Mackey explained.
"That's what I would have done." Dean confirmed as I nodded in agreement.
"Emmanuel shows. He passes every one. There ain't nothing weird about this guy. Except... he's the real deal." Mackey explained sounding genuinely surprised.
"What do you mean?" Dean cried out as my mind raced trying to explain how this Emmanuelguy could be legit.
"He touched me, and my eye was fixed. Look – I don't believe in much that don't suck your blood. But I wouldn't call you on a maybe." Mackey explained as I locked eyes with Dean.
Well it didn't take us long to pack everything up and hit the road. Dean had insisted that he was fine to drive and taking one car would have been easier than two. Honestly I was glad, it meant that I could sleep while he drove and I was looking forward to sleeping so badly. My body was healing, slower than I was used to, but healing. However my arm was still as sore as the moment that it happened but being around Dean meant that I couldn't really get a good look at it. I was almost certain that it was still bleeding though. I was curled up on the front seat next to Dean as he drove down the roads. The rain was beating down against the window in a comforting, soothing way. Dean had the radio on softly, the classic rock lulling me into a completely relaxed stated. I let out another yawn in the space of five minutes when Dean turned to me.
"Get some rest. A little nap won't hurt." Dean sighed as I yawned again shaking my head.
"But what if I freak out and smash your car?" I asked through sleepy eyes. I was teasing him, but a part of me was worried I'd freak out again. The dreams of Purgatory were getting less vivid, but there was still times I woke smashing up the first thing I got my hands on.
"You never used to freak out around me." Dean pointed out as he turned his eyes to the road. I looked up and watched Dean as he drove. There is definitely something about Dean Winchester. An undeniable quality. I know he'd always have my back in a fight. Always be here when I need him. But... he cheated, this pain my heart isn't even fading being around him. I don't think it ever will. I just... I let out a heavy sigh as I pushed the hair off my face. I was exhausted and over analysing the situation. "Sleep." He offered softly. I let out another yawn as balled up my jacket, using it as a pillow. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift quickly into a deep sleep.
It was dark, I was alone. It was Purgatory. I'd recognise this place anywhere. My heart started to race in my chest as I looked around the empty darkness that seemed to go on forever. "I'm not afraid anymore! You hear me?!" I shouted out into the darkness, my hands clenched in fists as I prepared myself for another life or death fight. I heard the scraping of claws and feet rush past me. My tried my best not to jump as I slowly walked round in a small circle. I couldn't see anything. I took a deep breath in and I couldn't smell anyone either. "Chicken shit!" I called out into the darkness waiting for them to attack me.
"They're not the monster this time." I turned to find someone stood there in front of me.
"Dean?" I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't understand why he was in Purgatory with me.
"The one and only honey." He chuckled as he stuffed his hands into his jacket.
"What.. you aren't real. You've never been here." I shook my head as I thought I was looking at a shifter.
"It's me." He shrugged as he glanced to the ground before looking back at me. "I'm the monster here."
"Monster?" I shook my head utterly confused.
"You know, I've done some pretty stupid things in my life." Dean stated with a sarcastic chuckle. "But cheating on you. That's going to take some topping."
"I'm not having this conversation with you- when you're not really you!" I cried out, shaking my head before turning and walking away from him.
"I didn't even think about you." Dean called out as I walked away. "I didn't think about anything. I just wanted this pain from Bobby to go away." He added as I felt the stabbing pain in my chest. It was the same feeling I got whenever I thought about Dean cheating on me.
"You're not really him!" I cried out as I stopped, but I refused to look at him.
"I get everyone I love killed. Mom, Dad, Sammy, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Cass... you." Dean said when I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart with a silver blade. I cried out in pain as I dropped to my knees clutching my chest.
"You're not really him!" I screamed out as the tears fell from my eyes. The fire burnt through my heart and down into my veins. My whole body felt like it was on fire. "You're not my Dean!"
"But this is what you're expecting him to say to you." Dean walked over to me, dropping to his knees in front of me.
"You did this to me." I cried out, gasping as the pain double. "I love you." I wept out as the fire burst to a new level of pain.
"I love you too." Dean admitted as he took my face in his hands. He pulled my face closer to his and rubbed my tears away with his thumbs. "It's always been you." He whispered against my lips before kissing me softly. As soon as our lips touched the pain disappeared, for the first time in months the pain was gone.
"Why did you hurt me so bad?" I asked as we pulled apart. His emerald green eyes locked on my own. He opened his mouth to answer, my breath catching in my throat as I waited on the real reason he hurt me.
"Hey, sleeping beauty, we're nearly here." Dean slapped my leg as I let out a small groan. I rubbed my eyes as I shifted in the seat.
"Damn it." I groaned, knowing that there was only one way I was going to get that answer and it was talking to Dean about it. I need to talk to him... After we fix Sam, I'll make him talk to me about it all. I'll get that answer. I'll end all this pain in my chest.
"What's the matter? Pull you away from a good dream?" Dean asked with a mischievous wink.
"I wish." I muttered as I stretched and actually felt better. Most of my body felt like it had nearly healed. That was until I moved my left arm. It was still so damn tender. I knew once we found Emmanuel I was going to have to excuse myself to the wash room to get a look at it. We pulled up to the address that Mackey gave us. The house looked normal, on a normal street. Nothing giving off the kind of vibes I would have expected. Everything was just so normal. We climbed out of the Impala and I turned to Dean cocking an eyebrow.
"You sure you got the right address?" I asked turning back to the house. It was a nice two story pastel blue and white house.
"Yeah, what did you expect? A neon sign and flashing lights? This isn't Vegas." Dean teased as I rolled my eyes.
"Jackass, look I just thought Emmanuel would live in a church or something. I don't know." I shrugged confused. I noticed there wasn't any pain and a smile crossed my lips. Least I got that going for me.
"I see you're feeling better." Dean beamed at me as I smirked back.
"Just needed a good nights sleep." I replied before looking back at the house. "Come on, let's just knock." I huffed shaking my head as we walked up the stairs. Dean took the steps in threes and reached the door before me. He knocked on the door as a man opened almost instantly.
"Hi. Uh, is this, uh, Daphne Allen's house? I'm looking for Emmanuel." Dean asked as the man looked normal enough, paste colour clothes and nothing that screamed supernatural to me at least.
"Well, you found him. Daphne's resting. If you don't mind." Emmanuel explained in a soft voice. Dean turned back to me before answering the guy.
"Oh, yeah, sure." Dean answered as I reached the top of the porch. Dean back up, making me back up a little as Emmanuel walked out and closed the door behind him.
"Um… So, I was hoping, uh…" Dean started to say when I smelt sulphur. I glanced and Dean was looking at someone through the window. I fallowed his gaze and saw a woman tied to a chair gagged.
"Demon!" I cried out as Emmanuel blinked exposing black eyes, grabbing Dean and slamming hard into the door. He turned to me, grabbing a handful of my top and throwing me into the wall next to Dean. I fell with all my weight onto my left arm. I screwed my face up, to stop from screaming. I instantly felt sweaty and dizzy as I started to pant through the pain. Damn it and my morning was going so well! Shit get it together. There's danger. Keep alert!
"You were saying, Dean?" The demon asked smugly. Thankfully Dean was too occupied with the demon to notice that I was nearly in tears over the pain in my arm. It felt exactly the same as when the Leviathan had bitten into me. A scorching pain radiated from my left arm and seemed to be pulsing up through my body.
"You know, I'd think twice. Or don't you know that your boss issued a hands-off memo?" Dean snapped back, glaring at the demon.
"Please," The demon laughed in his face. "What have you done for him lately? Roman's head on a plate? No? Whatever Emmanuel is, Crowley's gonna want him – a lot more than he wants you these days. So..." The demon started to stalk towards us. As he moved Dean pulled out his knife and stabbed the demon. He used the knife to help guide the demon to the stop of the stairs where he pulled out the blade and let the demon fall dead to the bottom of the stairs. I noticed Dean freeze but I couldn't see why.
"Dean?" I called out to him, as I wobbled to his side. I saw exactly why he froze. Stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at us lost, was a Cass look-a-like. I mean this guy looked exactly like Cass.
"What was that?" The Cass-a-like asked looking up at us still lost, with the exact same voice as Cass.
The Cass-a-like let us into his house as he went to untie the woman. Dean started to pace a little as I slumped against a wall. I was still in so much pain from the shove the demon gave me. The throbbing was turning into a pounding at the base of my neck. I felt like I was going to burst into flames with how hot I was feeling. But I was trying my best too keep it hidden. Now isn't the time to freak everyone out with your weird arse bite. Now is the time to hold it together! I looked up, and Dean was watching the Cass-a-like as if he was stalking a monster. I could feel the surprise and confusion roll of him. All I could feel from the other two was fear. I couldn't understand it. He looked like Cass, sounded like Cass... But Cass died. I kind of remembered that. I was lent against the wall, but I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. I hoped that was the only thing giving me away.
"That creature hurt you." The Cass-a-like said, untying the woman who I took to be Daphne.
"I'm okay. But, Emmanuel... They were looking for you." Daphne explained looking at our Cass-a-like.
"It's okay." The Cass-a-like/Emmanuel said to Daphne before turning to the pair of us. "I'm Emmanuel." He introduced himself to the pair of us. Dean shook Emmanuel's hand as I offered him a small smile. It was about as much as I could muster without showing how hurt I was.
"Dean. I'm...Dean." Dean explained just staring at Emmanuel in disbelief.
"I'm Megan." I explained, snapping Dean from his thoughts as he glanced over his shoulder to me. He instantly picked up I wasn't one hundred per cent. Dean frowned and I shook my head ever so slightly to tell him to leave it for now.
"Thank you for protecting my wife." Emmanuel said pulling Dean from his gaze on me.
"Your wife. Right." Dean nodded as he glanced at Daphne still with the same disbelief plastered on his face.
"I saw his face. His real face." Emmanuel explained shaking his head a little, he looked haunted by what he saw.
"He was a demon." I explained softly, cradling my arm to my chest.
"A demon walked the Earth." Emmanuel said softly, more to himself than us.
"Demons. Whackloads of them. You don't know about...?" Dean asked as both and me shared a glance. Cass wouldn't be haunted... he knows what demons looks like. He's not acting like Jimmy either... Who is this guy?
"You saw the demon's true face." Daphne explained to Emmanuel before turning to us. "Emmanuel has very special gifts." She added to the pair of us. I felt another burst of heat work its way through my body violently.
"Yeah. We-We've heard that about... Emmanuel. That you can heal people up." Dean said with a small nod as I felt the world spin. Everything split into double as I felt the bile rise in my throat. My whole body was on fire and the fire started in my arm.
"I seem to be able to help to a certain degree. What's your issue?" Emmanuel asked Dean.
"My brother." Dean stated plainly.
"Oh my... is that... blood?!" Daphne almost screamed as everyone turned to me. I looked down and the left sleeve of my navy top and the dripping blood. My blood. I felt my legs go weak and I crumpled into the floor. "Megan!" Dean cried out as all three came around me.
"Is she hurt?" Daphne asked worried. "What happened to her?!" She added as her gaze fixed on my left arm. Sure enough a small river of blood was running out of my sleeve. My head lolled back against the wall as I felt like I was about to pass out. I felt cool hands on my face as I started to loose feeling in my body.
"Megan, stay with me ok? I need to look at the arm." Dean said, but his voice sounded like he was underwater. I felt him move me, pulling up the sleeve. I heard Daphne gasp as I saw red on my left arm, just a big block of red where the bandage should have been. I couldn't work out where my bandage had gone. My brain wouldn't work right. Nothing was making sense.
"Daphne perhaps you shouldn't see this." Emmanuel suggested as she moved out of the way. I watched as she went pale and moved into the kitchen. Emmanuel gave me a comforting smile as I blinked to try and bring everything into focus.
"What the hell?" Dean cried out as he started to take off the red block. I cried out in pain as it tugged against my skin. "Sorry." Dean hummed as he pulled back the last part. My head dropped to my chest as I thought I was about to pass out at any moment.
"Allow me." Emmanuel said from the side of Dean. I didn't hear much else as I passed out from the raw pain in my arm.
I snapped my eyes open as I took a deep gasp. I couldn't get the air into my lungs fast enough. Seconds later Cass and Dean were clear in my vision.
"Megan? Megan are you ok?" Dean asked looking terrified, he was holding me as I looked around where I was.
"I don't understand." Cass said confused from the side of me. I looked and I was still slumped against the wall in Emmanuel's house, I let out a sigh as I looked down at my arm. The cut had stopped bleeding, for the first time in four days it had stopped bleeding.
"I feel rough." I groaned as Dean helped me to my feet. I wobbled but he wrapped an arm around me to steady me.
"I got you." He hummed into my ear as he pressed a soft kiss on my head. "Just don't scare me like that again." He added as he sat me down on the chair.
"I don't understand. Usually I can heal physical wounds." Emmanuel muttered as he shook his head. I sat for a second as the cotton wool feeling cleared from my head.
"It's not natural." I blurted out as Daphne appeared with a glass of water for me. I nodded a thanks and took a quick sip of it.
"Then what it is?" Emmanuel asked as I felt Dean's eyes on me too. I turned and looked up at Dean knowing he would be the only one who would understand what I was about to say.
"Leviathan." I answered looking at Dean before turning my attention back to Emmanuel and Daphne. "I just need to bandage it, then I'm good to hit the road." I explained softly, rolling my head on my shoulders. I actually felt better than I had since the attack.
"Leviathan?!" Dean snapped at the side of me. His rage was instant.
"I'll go get some bandages." Daphne almost whispered as she disappeared back into the kitchen.
"What is a Leviathan?" Emmanuel asked confused. "Is it like a demon?" He asked looking between me and Dean.
"Kinda. Got a nasty bite to it." I answered Emmanuel as I felt the rage pour our of Dean. His rage was feeding my wolf side, I could feel her stir at the tension in the room. I slowly turned my head to him and let out my breath slowly. "Might wanna rain that back in, unless you what to explain more creatures to Emmanuel." I muttered rubbing my temples.
"A Leviathan?! When were you planning on tell me you got bit by a freaking Leviathan?!" Dean snapped as he stormed into my face. He was so angry, but behind the anger I was the fear of loosing yet another person.
"After Sam." I answered meeting his death glare with my own equally annoyed glare.
"I think I should help Daphne." Emmanuel muttered softly, leaving the pair of us glaring at each other.
"After Sam?! If it wasn't for Emmanuel you would have been dead!" Dean scoffed shaking his head and walking away. "How long have you been bit?!" He snapped.
"Four days." I answered standing up and glaring back at Dean. "Four days. But I haven't had time to really fix it since I've been helping you! You know that Hell Mary you've been looking for!"
"You should have told me!" Dean snapped as he stormed right into my face again. He was so close to me that I felt the heat of his rage roll if him. The rage fed into my own anger, the pain in my heart snapping within me.
"Why?!" I snapped back, glaring into his face. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to scream in his face and destroy him. I was so angry at him.
"You could have died!" Dean growled as I felt the wolf side of my stir again.
"Like you'd care!" I snapped back without thinking. I saw Dean's eyes widen in shock as he took a step back.
"I care about you damn it! I still- I care!" Dean growled in my face.
"Really?" I scoffed sarcastically shaking my head.
"Really!" Dean snapped back, but my mouth worked before my brain could kick in.
"You stopped caring about me months ago when you slept with that- woman." I hissed as I saw Daphne and Emmanuel awkwardly walk back into the room. Dean stood there his mouth gaping open as I just glared up at him with the rage I was feeling deep inside for months.
Daphne helped me stitch and bandage up the bite mark. Six very obvious puncture marks were clear to see but the skin was starting to knit back together. My arm stung like a bitch but thankfully it was healing. Whatever Emmanuel had done to me, kick started my own healing ability. I couldn't even look at Dean, I hadn't meant to say what I did. But deep down I did mean it. He wouldn't even look back at me either. We asked Emmanuel to come help us fix Sam. He agreed but seemed to feel awkward around the pair of us. I couldn't blame him, after all we did have a fight right in front of him and his um wife.
I was laid out in the back of the Impala, my jacket propping my head up as Emmanuel sat up front with Dean. We had been driving a few hours in relative silence when Dean cleared his throat and glance over to Emmanuel.
"So, Daphne – is that, uh, your wife?" He asked carefully.
"She found me and cared for me." Emmanuel explained with a warm smile.
"Meaning?" Dean asked confused as I sat up a little so I could hear him better.
"Oh, it's a...strange story. You may not like it." Emmanuel frowned as he glanced at Dean and noticed me sat up in the back.
"Believe me, I will." Dean answered with a small smile and I couldn't help but smile. I knew Dean still cared about Cass, even if we weren't sat with the real Cass this guy as close enough. It was good to know that he hadn't just died.
"A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and..." Emmanuel turned and I swear I saw a blush in his cheeks as he shifted uncomfortable. Dean caught his eye as he looked back forward. "Um...unclothed. I had no memory. She said... God wanted her to find me." He finished his explanation and I couldn't help but smile.
"Who named you Emmanuel?" I asked softly as Dean glanced at me in the rear view mirror. I gave him a sad smile, he nodded a little and glanced to Emmanuel.
"Bouncy baby names dot com." Emmanuel explained and I smirked shaking my head a little.
"Well, it's working for you. Must be weird not knowing who you are." Dean pondered as he took another glance at Emmanuel.
"Well, it's my life. And it's a good life." Emmaunel stated, content with how his life was turning out.
"Yeah, well, what if you were some kind of... I don't know...bad guy?" Dean asked seriously as I caught his eye and shook my head. Dean shrugged his shoulders plainly.
"Oh, I... don't feel like a bad person." He stated as the car fell back into a silence.
We must have been driving another hour or so before Emmanuel turned to look at me in the back seat. I was just laid out, looking at stuff on my phone. I rested my phone on my stomach as I turned to him and gave him a small smile.
"You do not seem the same as anyone I have met." He stated with a frown.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked as I sat up and frowned a little.
"She doesn't look like you." Emmanuel said.
"It's because she's British, they're all a little paler than us." Dean joked as I rolled my eyes at him.
"No. She has a glow, it's different to you or Daphne. It's difficult to explain." Emmanuel stated with a frown as he turned back to face me again. "Are you, human?"
"Yeah, yes of course I am." I answered shaking my head. "Why, why wouldn't I be?" I scoffed. He just nodded, but he didn't look convinced.
"Are the pair of you married?" Emmanuel suddenly asked, changing the topic.
"Yes." "No." We both answered at the same time. I caught Dean's eye in the rear view mirror and sighed.
"No, we're not." I repeated my answer as Dean let out a grunt.
"But you were. I mean the tension between the pair of you is noticeable. Daphne assures me that, this level of tension only happens once the pair have seen each other naked and things have deteriorated between them." Emmanuel stated as if he was a world class authority on these things. Both me and Dean shifted awkwardly in our seats as Dean cleared his throat and turned to Emmanuel.
"Things are complicated between the pair of us. But Megan is one of the best damn people I know, she's family in everything but blood." Dean stated as a smile crossed my lips.
"And I'm here to help Dean and his brother through this." I added as I caught Deans eye again and gave him a warm smile. I knew I'd always come running if one of the Winchesters needed help, it was nice to know that Dean saw me as family too. As I looked into Dean's green eyes I felt the stab of pain in my heart again. I still love him... and he broke my heart. I still care and damn it, this pain in my heart doesn't seem to be getting any better.
"So, your brother..." Emmanuel broke me from my thought as I turned to him.
"Sam." Dean prompted him.
"Sam. What's his diagnosis?" Emmanuel asked plainly.
"Well, it's not exactly medical." Dean sighed loudly.
"That should be fine. I can cure illness of a spiritual origin." Emmanuel explained with a small nod.
"Spiritual? Okay. Someone did this to him." Dean scoffed as he gripped the wheel tighter. I felt the wave of anger roll off him. I sat back in my seat as if I could escape the anger.
"You're angry." Emmanuel stated, slightly confused.
"Well, yeah. Dude broke my brother's head." Dean grunted shaking his head.
"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Emmanuel asked as I held my breath. Dean turned to Emmanuel and studied him.
"Yeah, well, he's gone." Dean stated as he looked away from Emmanuel.
"Did you kill him? I sense that you kill a lot of people." Emmanuel asked shifting a little away from Dean. I smirked a little at his actions, shaking my head softly.
"Honestly, I-I-I don't know if he is dead. I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier. You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cass did... I just can't – I don't know why." Dean opened up to Emmanuel and I sat there in shock. I knew Dean found it hard, but hearing him talk to Emmanuel like that I felt so bad for him. I had never realised how badly Castiel betrayal had effected Dean.
"Well, it doesn't matter why." Emmanuel offered making Dean look at him like he was crazy.
"Of course it matters." Dean snapped back, taking a quick glance at Emmanuel.
"No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human. Your friend's name was Cass? That's an odd name." Emmanuel said as I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips. Both men turned to me slightly confused.
"Emmanuel, and you think Cass is strange?" I smirked shaking my head as the pair said nothing. "Just me then..." I hummed as I sat back in the seat.
It was day time when Dean pulled the Impala over and turned to us. He gave me a quick look before he turned to Emmanuel. "Oh, hey, hey. Just, uh, sit tight. I'll be right out, ok? Megan's gonna stay here with you, ok?" Dean said as he got out of the car and crossed the road to the convenience store.
"How's your arm?" Emmanuel asked turning to face me. I pulled up my sleeve and looked at the white bandage. My arm hurt, but no where as bad as it was before I passed out in Emmanuel's house.
"A lot better, thank you." I beamed as I met his gaze.
"Were you friends with this Cass as well?" Emmanuel asked looking slightly troubled.
"Yeah, yeah I was." I admitted sadly. "He was a good man, he just made a few of the wrong choices. I know in his heart he meant well." I added with a small smile.
"But he broke Dean's brothers head. How can that be for the right reasons?" Emmanuel asked still confused by it all.
"Cass was... he wanted to help as many people as he could. He thought he had the best way to do it. He wanted Dean to trust him... Cass had the wrong plan, but we couldn't make him see sense. It was messy and complicated but I still don't blame Cass for any of it." I answered, thinking back to the moment I gave him my soul. I trusted Cass then, and I trust him now. Even if he is going by Emmanuel...
"You know Dean is in love with you, right?" He asked bluntly as I cleared my throat, hiding my wide eyes.
"Like the man said, it's complicated." I shrugged as I glance in the direction of the convenience store.
"But you love him too, am I correct?" Emmanuel asked as I met his baby blues again. I let out a heavy sigh as I ran a hand through my hair.
"I... it's not easy. I, um, I,I, um... do. But..." I glance in the direction of the convenience store and heard fighting. I snapped my eyes back to Emmanuel and shot him a warm smile. "Hey I need to check on Dean. I need you to stay in the car ok, don't unlock the door until you see us coming back."
"Why? What's happening?" Emmanuel asked slightly distressed as I checked I had my gun and family knife.
"Nothing, I just um I need to go..." I mumbled as I got out the car. Emmanuel locked the doors after me and I strolled over, keeping my eyes out for anything that could be a threat. As I reached the door I saw Dean moving the sign the other side of the door. He opened the door for me and I walked in. I could smell demon blood as soon as I walked in. Damn it, they're fallowing us. Super.
"You ok?" I asked softly as he turned the sign round to closed and pulled the blind down.
"Yeah I'm fine. My phone's bust though." Dean muttered locking the door. As I turned I saw the store was a mess and stood with Dean's knife Meg. I let out a heavy sigh as my eyes landed on her.
"Awesome." I huffed sarcastically as Dean nodded a little.
"Megan, it's been awhile." She beamed at me as I rolled my eyes.
"And yet, not long enough." I replied shaking my head.
"Meg, cut the crap." Dean huffed shaking his head.
"Rumours are really starting to fly about this Emmanuel fellow. My curiosity sure got revved up." Meg shrugged as she looked at the pair of us.
"Just tell us what you want, Meg." Dean huffed as he shook his head.
"Imagine my surprise when I track him down, and he's snuggled up with you. And he's the spitting image of poor, dead Castiel. So, Dean, what's poor, dead Castiel doing in that junker out there?" Meg asked looking straight at Dean.
"Christmas carolling." Dean replied sarcastically as he glanced at me.
"Fun. But how's he alive? Last I heard, he played God, went poof." Meg replied glancing at me as if I knew how the hell Cass was up and walking.
"I don't know. And neither does he, so you got to keep it shut." Dean snapped pointing a finger at Meg.
"Oh, I do?" Meg asked innocently, but there was a threat in her voice.
"He doesn't know he's Cass." I pointed out, giving her a small glare.
"I know. Been watching you for hours. So here's the deal. You might remember Crowley and me were frosty back in the day? Well, times haven't changed." Meg stated plainly with a small shrug.
"Good." Dean answered making me smirk a little too.
"That hurts my feelings. I've been good to you, Dean." Meg purred as she looked over to Dean.
"No, you've been good to you, sweetheart." Dean replied before turning away from her and looking at something on the shelf.
"Look. Right now rumours of this wandering healer are strictly low-level. But body counts getting high enough to change that. Folks start poking, they sniff angel dust." Meg pointed out as Dean started to stuff food into his jacket.
"Meaning?" I asked, knowing all too well what it meant.
"They start falling all over each other trying to tell Crowley." Dean answered as he turned back to face the pair of us.
"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia-Cass. Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna burn that smarmy dick. My time's coming. But right about now, my army-of-one situation is not cutting it. It's cold out here, there's a price on my ass, and I need friends." Meg explained her eyes darting from me to Dean.
"My heart bleeds... oh wait, it really doesn't." I replied folding my arms over my chest as Meg glared at me. I heard Dean let out a small chuckle.
"Yeah. Look we get that. But we ain't it." Dean added as she almost pouted at him.
"That's where you're wrong, Dean. 'Cause I'm here to help you, and that makes us friends." Meg pointed out with a small smile.
"I doubt that." I muttered as I watched her carefully.
"Help, huh? You mean see if you can't turn harmless little Cass out there into an angel-sized weapon?" Dean pointed out scoffing and shaking his head.
"Like you're taking him carolling. And by the way, you really want to keep going with no backup?" Meg asked plainly as I tensed up.
"Hello, hi yeah, still in the room." I huffed waving a hand in the air.
"That arm of yours any better?" Meg asked looking me dead in the eye. I felt an anger build in me as I looked at Meg. I just wanted to rip her head off. I hated the bitch.
"We could always find out." I smirked as I felt the wolf side of me stir again. I cocked an eyebrow as Meg tilted her head to one side.
"Please, lets." Meg beamed back at me, the threat thinly hidden in her voice.
"Hey! Enough! Both of you!" Dean snapped looking at the pair of us. I kept my eyes locked on Meg, just waiting for her to make the wrong move so I could take her out.
"I know little Megan's all banged up right now. A Leviathan bite too, that's going to take a while to heal- if you survive." She added smirking at me as I balled up my good hand. She turned to Dean and continued talking. "You know, you're going to need someone fighting fit to do the heavy lifting on this Dean. Hey, I don't trust you, either. But I could really use Emmanuel. And he trusts you. So for now, it's in everyone's best interests to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?" Meg suggested as she looked at me, then slowly turned her attention to Dean. Dean glanced at me, and I could see that he was thinking about working with her.
"Really?! Oh come on Dean!" I huffed shaking my head as a smile crossed Meg's lips. "Shut it!" I snapped as Meg opened her mouth.
"We go straight to Sam. No detours." Dean barked looking straight at Meg.
"I love it." Meg purred like the cat who got the cream.
"And one more thing. My knife." Dean held his hand out as Meg passed him the bloody knife.
"You sure we wouldn't be safer travelling with a full-throttle angel? I could jog his memory." Meg offered as Dean gave her a warning glare. "Kidding! We wouldn't want to upset the poor guy." She added as we all walked out of the store. We walked out of the store and as we walked over to the Impala Emmanuel noticed us, climbing out to greet us. As soon as his eyes landed on Meg he got the same distressed look he had when we first met him.
"Her face! She's one of-" Emmanuel cried out as Dean stood between the pair.
"It's okay. We come in different flavours." Meg purred as she looked Emmanuel up and down. He turned to me and Dean for reassurance.
"She's, uh... a friend." Dean muttered rolling his eyes.
"Meg. Just here for moral support. I mean, after all, we go way back." She paused looking dead into Emmanuel's eyes. Both me and Dean shot Meg a glare. "Dean and me. Just met you, of course. But I think we're gonna be good friends, too." She added with a smirk. I turned to Dean and cocked an eyebrow. I knew this was a bad idea, having Meg anywhere near Cass/Emmanuel was going to end badly. Dean let out a heavy sigh shrugging his shoulder as if to say what could he do.
"All right. Can we go?" Dean asked shaking his head as we all piled back into the car.
We drove most of the night to get to the hospital. Dean sat up front with Emmanuel as me and Meg sat in the back. Both Dean and Meg were studying Emmanuel with quick glances and sly looks. They were both probably wondering the same thing I was. How the hell is Cass alive?
"This silence is very uncomfortable. Is there something I should know?" Emmanuel spoke up a couple of hours into our drive.
"I don't know. Dean?" Meg purred turning from Emmanuel to Dean.
"Meg." I growled in a warning tone as she simply shrugged at me.
"No. Meg has that effect. Awkward. You know?" Dean replied, giving her a glare of his own in the rear view mirror.
"That must be difficult for you." Emmanuel said turning to look at me and Meg in the back.
"Dean's making a joke, Emmanuel." Meg said dryly as she sighed.
"Oh." Emmanuel sighed as Dean turned the engine off. We all climbed out of the car and looked around the hospital. There were a group of people just stood around outside.
"Oh, gracious." Emmanuel said shocked. All those people were demons I could smell them a mile off.
"Damn it. Demons." Meg huffed as I shook my head.
"All of them?" Dean asked as he looked through some binoculars.
"No grass growing under your feet." Meg teased as let out a sigh.
"Could be interesting..." I hummed looking out at the crowd of demons waiting for us.
"How many of those knives do you have?" Emmanuel asked looking to Dean for guidance.
"I have one, and Megan's got one." Dean answered running a hand over his jaw.
"Won't be enough." Meg sang out by the side of me. I hated to admit it but I agreed with her. It wasn't enough, not with my bust up arm.
"Well, then, forgive me, but what do we do?" Emmanuel asked looking at all three of us lost.
"Yeah, Dean. Got any other ideas how we could blast through that?" Meg asked dropping about as big a hint as you could get. Dean groaned looking at me and Meg before turning his attention to Emmanuel.
"Excuse us." Dean said to Emmanuel before walking away. "Meg?" He barked her name.
"Oh, for the love of..." Meg sighed as I fallowed her.
"You had to open that mouth of yours." I huffed as we walked away from Emmanuel.
"Sam's in there. I know you're enjoying the double dip with your old pal, but-" Meg started to say as she lent on the Impala's boot.
"You think it's that cut and dry? Really? You know what he did. And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride? He could snap. He could... disappear. Who knows?" Dean scoffed shaking his head.
"Um Dean?" I spoke up, looking over his shoulder where Emmanuel stood.
"I gather we know each other." Emmanuel stated as Dean turned to face him.
"Just a dollop." Meg answered as I rolled my eyes.
"You can tell me. I'll be fine." Emmanuel stated looking straight to Dean.
"How do you know? You just met yourself. I've known you for years." Dean barked shaking his head.
"Dean, maybe we should?" I nodded towards Emmanuel.
"No! No I won't be the one-" Dean shook his head as he talked to me.
"You're an angel." Meg blurted out as we both turned to her wide eyed.
"I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" Emmanuel asked confused as he looked from Meg to the pair of us.
"No, it's a species. A very powerful one." Meg explained plainly. Emmanuel looked to me and Dean to confirm what she was saying. I just shrugged feeling lost for words.
"She's not lying. Okay? That's why you heal people. You don't eat. I'm sure there's more." Dean huffed waving a hand at Emmanuel.
"Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel – it sounds pleasant." Emmanuel said with a small smile on his lips.
"It's not, trust me. It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant." Dean barked shaking his head as he looked at Emmanuel.
"He would know. You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Meg purred as I turned to her with wide eyes.
"Not helping Meg." I grunted as Emmanuel looked utterly shocked to Dean.
"We're... friends? Am I Cass? I-I had no idea. I don't remember you. I'm sorry." Emmanuel back tracked trying to make up for things that he just didn't remember.
"Look. You got the juice. You can smite every demon in that lot." Meg pointed out as she nodded to the demons waiting for us.
"But I don't remember how." Emmanuel stated as he glanced over his shoulder to the demons.
"It's in there. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike." Dean offered putting a hand on Emmanuel's shoulder.
"I don't know how to do that, either." Emmanuel explained and I couldn't help the smirk on my face as Dean let out a heavy sigh. Emmanuel looked from the demons back to us. "All right, I'll try." He said as he just walked down the hill towards the demons.
"This ain't gonna go well." Dean sighed running a hand over his face.
"Hell Mary, remember." I whispered, nudging Dean a little. He looked at me and we shared a small smile.
"I don't know. I believe in the little tree topper." Meg hummed from the side of me as we watched Emmanuel walk up to the first demon. We watched as Emmanuel – no- Cass worked through the crowd of demons smiting them left and right. He clearly remembered how to do it. He was cutting them down like daisies. As the last demon fell we walked over to Cass.
"That was beautiful, Clarence." Meg purred as Cass just stood with his back to us.
"Cass?" Dean asked softly we were all hoping that Cass was back.
"I remember you. Both of you." Castiel said before turning and looking at me and Dean. His eyes landed on Dean and I swear I almost felt guilt washing off him. "I remember everything."
"Cass." I sighed out his name and gave him a sad smile.
"What I did. What I became. Why didn't you tell me?" Cass asked looking at Dean for answers.
"Because Sam is dying in there!" Dean snapped pointing to the hospital behind Castiel.
"Because of me. Everything. All these people. I shouldn't be here." Cass shook his head as he started to walk away.
"Cass. Cass!" Dean called out after Cass before turning to Meg. "You stay here!" He barked to her calling his name as he walked after Castiel.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Clarence is back in the building." Meg purred as we watched the pair walk away and talk to each other.
"You knew he'd do this. Want to leave as soon as he knew who he was." I stated turning to Meg.
"He's doing what anyone with a soul would do." She said as we just stood side by side watching them.
"He'll help Sam." I nodded as Dean moved to the boot of the Impala.
"He'll take off after that though." Meg added as I saw Dean pull out Castiel's trench coat from the boot of his car. I had no idea he had been holding onto the coat for so long. In that moment I realised just how badly Castiel's death had really effected Dean. It was like he had lost a brother.
Needless to say the coat did the trick. Cass cleared the hospital and we found Sam. Cass had tried to heal him when he first found him but something had happened. He brought Sam back to his room. I was stood at the foot of the bed, watching as Sam listened to someone sat in the empty chair next to him. Dean and Cass were stood just behind me, both of them watching Sam as well as the lent against the wall.
"What the hell do you mean you can't?" Dean whispered harshly.
"I mean there's nothing left to rebuild." Cass answered as I turned to face the pair.
"Why not?" Dean demanded, shooting a glance to me.
"Because it crumbled. The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever is happening inside his head right now." Castiel explained looking as emotion as a house plant.
"So you're saying there's nothing? That he's gonna be like this until his candle blows out?" Dean snapped, he was trying to keep his voice down so that he didn't startle Sam. But the anger rolling off him was breathtaking. I had to stay by the edge of the bed so that I didn't wolf out on everyone.
"I'm sorry. This isn't a problem I can make disappear. And you know that." Castiel explained as he turned and studied Sam. "But I may be able to shift it." He added thoughtfully.
"Shift?" Dean asked confused as Castiel nodded.
"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet." Cass said walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, near me. "It's better this way. I'll be fine." Cass muttered as he glanced over his shoulder to Dean. Sam flinched away from Cass as if he was acid.
"Wait, Cass, what are you doing?" Dean asked pushing himself away from the wall.
"Cass?" I asked from the edge of the bed.
"Now, Sam this may hurt. And if I can't tell you again I'm sorry I ever did this to you." Cass said softly as he put his hand on Sam's head. I watched as Sam groaned, a red glow coming from his eyes and face travelled into Castiel's hand and up his arm into his head. Castiel's eyes glowed red for a beat as Sam groaned some more before gasping for air.
"Sam?" Dean asked moving towards Sam.
"Cass?" I hummed softly, I moved to bob down in front of Cass. He wasn't looking at me, he seemed, well like Sam had been when I first visited him in the hospital.
"Dean!" Sam cried out as Dean reached him, the relief washing over him.
"Sam!" Dean cried out so happy that he had his brother back.
"Cass? Cass, is that you?" Sam asked as Cass turned his head to Sam. I don't know what he saw but he pushed me away, running away from the bed. His back crashed into the wall as he covered his eyes and slumped down onto the ground.
Sam was, well Sam again. Cass had taken on the case of the crazies and seemed to settle into his new home. Dean said we had to leave him there, that it was the best thing for him now. We all walked out of the hospital, and I couldn't help but feel guilty leaving him there.
"I don't know. I mean, we can't just leave him." Sam said as we walked over to the car.
"Yeah, it's pretty crappy." I added walking side by side with Sam.
"Well, we can't bring him with us. Everything on the planet's out for us, okay?" Dean huffed looking over to the pair of us. "Word gets out, we can't protect him. Not really. This is safer." Dean sighed as he reached the drivers side of the car, he looked over at Sam and me from the roof. "Every demon who knows about Cass is dead." He added and I frowned.
"Not everyone. Look, Dean, this whole enemy of my enemy is my friend thing feels kind of like a demon deal." Sam pointed out shaking his head a little.
"It's not a deal. It's-" Dean started to explain.
"It's what?" Sam asked plainly.
"Mutually assured destruction. Look, man, I get it. She's not our friend. We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead." Dean muttered shaking his head.
"Not dead. Seriously, how do you keep forgetting me?" I asked looking over to Dean with a goof smirk I knew Sam was matching.
"You nearly died, if it wasn't for- " Deans eyes darted to Sam before looking back at me. "You died in the past. It still counts." Dean cleared his throat and climbed into the Impala.
We got back to the cabin and I grabbed my stuff ready to head out on the road. I knew I had to keep my distance from Dean, the pain in my chest wasn't fading. I decided to duck out while he was out picking up some food. I know it was low, but I couldn't face him right now. I put my bags in the boot and grabbed the last of my things from the cabin.
"Thanks for coming Megan." Sam beamed, pulling me into a giant hug.
"Hey, you'd do the same for me." I smirked as we pulled apart and he looked at me.
"It couldn't have been easy with Dean." Sam pointed out as I just shrugged. He was flashing me the big puppy dogs, I wasn't sure he even knew he was doing it.
"It could have been worse." I admitted with a nod as Dean walked in with some food.
"What could have been worse?" He asked putting the food on the table.
"The Hell Mary. It might not have worked." I lied turning to Dean. "Anyway I'd best get off, long drive ahead of me." I nodded at the door.
"Oh yeah, yeah sure." Dean nodded as he unpacked some food. "Thanks for helping out." He added with a quick glance to me.
"Anytime." I nodded to Dean, before turning back to Sam. "Take care. And call when you get something on Dick Roman."
"Will do." Sam smirked as I turned and walked out of the cabin. As I closed the door I let out a heavy sigh I had been holding in. I walked to my Cameo and threw the last of my things onto the back seat. I walked over to the drivers side door and opened it, leaning on the roof as I looked around the woods.
"Bobby you son of a bitch, I know you're watching over them. I know you're here. Keep an eye on the pair, for me." I spoked out as a breeze brushed the hair out of my face. I smirked taking it as Bobby replying to me. "Good." I muttered as I started to climb into my baby.
"Megan! Megan wait up!" Dean called out my name as I paused and got back out of the car. He walked round and lent on the roof from the passengers side.
"Something wrong?" I asked leaning on my side.
"Um, no, I just..." Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"The talk?" I asked as his eyes snapped to mine.
"It's the first time we've talked in months." Dean admitted letting out a heavy sigh. "I want to clear the air." I bit my bottom lip as the sharp pain in my heart doubled. I knew this was coming, I knew we'd have to talk about it eventually but I wasn't sure I was ready. Not after spending the last three days side by side with him.
"Maybe we should wait, get a little space between us." I admitted sadly as I looked to the roof of my baby.
"Why wait? You could be dead tomorrow." Dean said deadly serious as I looked up and met his gaze. He was looking at my arm, at the Leviathan bite.
"Ditto." I chuckled dryly as I moved and sat on the front of my car. I put my feet on the bumper as I let out another sigh.
"Megan..." He said my name so damn sadly. I watched as he stood in front of me, not too close, but close enough that if I wanted to I could have reached out and touched him. "Sorry isn't going to cut it. I know it wont-"
"So don't say it." I said plainly as I looked up at him. My heart was breaking all over again. I was back in that motel room, my world crashing around my ears.
"I wont." He answered, running a hand over his chin. "I could blame it on the booze. Hell I've been drinking a lot more since..." He let his words die away as I heard the guilt in his voice.
"Bobby." I said the name playing on his lips. "We were kinda heading down hill since he got shot." I admitted, wrapping my arms over my body. "I mean, I knew it back then... but I never, I never thought that we'd end up here." I let the words slip out my mouth as I felt heartbroken. My voice waved with the emotion as I fought to keep the lump down in my throat.
"I never wanted to hurt you." Dean's voice was nearly breaking as he spoke to me. "I never, ever wanted to hurt you Megan."
"But you did anyway." I bit out as I felt the pain double.
"I just, I need something, a distraction from everything that was falling around me. Cass, Bobby, Sam, you, everyone is depending on me to know what to do. I have no clue! After Bobby I just- I couldn't take another hit and I saw this one coming..." Dean said honestly, looking straight into my eyes.
"You could have talked to me." I whispered out, as I felt the tears spring into my eyes.
"I didn't know how to." Dean whispered out as I saw the tears falling from his perfect face.
"So, she was the better option?" I asked hugging myself.
"She wasn't an option. She was just... a mistake." Dean admitted leaning on the front of my Cameo next to me. "I just wanted to feel again." He admitted just above a whisper as he looked out into the woods. "I just wanted to feel a damn thing." This was harder than I thought. I thought I would have screamed and shouted, we would scream our lungs out and in the end it would come back that we both loved each other and we'd work through it. Deep down inside that's what I hoped would happen. It really wasn't working like that at all.
"Did you ever think of me?" I whispered out as the tears fell down my cheeks. "Did you ever think of me when you went home with her?" I asked softly, half hoping he wouldn't answer me. I was so terrified about how he was going to answer.
"No." Dean answered honestly and I felt the knife twist in my heart again. We both just sat staring out into the woods silently crying next to each other. We sat there for what felt like an eternity when Dean cleared his throat. I turned as he looked over to me.
This is it. This is how we end. We were never meant to get this far anyway, it was a good run while it lasted. We both got to feel real happiness and I'll always be thankful for that. We were good together. Now... now we have to be strong separate.
Goodbye Dean Winchester.
I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review so I know if anyone is actually reading this too.