Little Brother Wes Chapter 39: Don't Leave Me I, a glee fanfic

*comes out of hiding, all dusty and dirty* Geez I never knew people were so attached to Mitch... I've never got so many emotional reviews over a chapter before :S I worry about this one though...

Part 39

"Ow", Wes whined as Reed put an icepack to his swollen cheek.

"Just a bit more buddy and you'll be just perfect again", Reed said softly and held one of Wes' hands. Both boys had tears at the corner of their eyes and worry was in heavy in their stomachs.

"Will Mitch be okay", Wes asked and Reed's grip on his hand tightened a bit.

"I don't know buddy", he said and then there was a knock on the door and Rob entered.

"Hi", he said. "How are we holding up in here?"

"Better than Justine I bet", Reed said. "What's up Rob?"

"Carmichael wants to see us… all boys in the Warblers are to come to his office."

"But… Justine and Austin-"

"He let them go to the hospital with Mitch… he wants the rest of us to come before we can go too… Mark's here too."

Wes stared at him.

"Connors", Reed asked and Rob nodded.

"Come on let's go", he said and the trio left.

Wes looked around Carmichael's office, it was full of people. It was teachers and the Warblers… and Mark was standing in the corner. When he saw Wes he hurried up to him and just picked him up from the floor hugging him tight. Wes hugged him back and did his best to not cry but he couldn't keep the tears back.

Carmichael looked very gloom and motioned for Mark to take a seat somewhere. Mark did but refused to let go of Wes. He sat down and had Wes sit on his lap so they could hug. Wes didn't look at anyone, he didn't want to. Mark was looking… well more watching everyone. Nathan was crying silently on a chair and Otto sat beside him trying to calm him down.

"Arthur", one of the teachers asked. "What are we doing here?"

Carmichael sighed and ran a hand over his face, he was holding the note Mitch had written in his hand. He sighed again and put it on his desk.

"We're here", he said. "Because one of our boys in the Warblers tried to kill himself… and as far as we know he might've succeeded."

"What", Ms. Lincoln asked in horror and looked at the Warblers.

"Which one Arthur", the Spanish teacher asked.

"Mitch Magnuson", Carmichael said.

"What?!" Wes' martial arts coach shouted. "But… but… is it because of what Owen and his idiotic friends did?"

"I'm not sure… those boys have been expelled but they said they were just acting like the boys and Warblers from the Dragon." Carmichael turned to said boys. "Otto, Nathan explain yourselves."

"It's my fault", Nathan sniffled. "Mitch cheated on me and I got angry…"

"He didn't cheat on you!" Wes yelled and Mark held him back.

"Wes", Carmichael said soothingly. "Let Nathan speak first."

Wes nodded and Nathan continued.

"I saw Mitch kiss another guy and I got so angry", he sobbed out. "I yelled at him and called him some stuff and… and… I wanted my friends to be on my side so I got the boys of the Dragon but not Rob or Wes and… and some other boys as well… word got out about Mitch cheating on me and… and I don't know…"

"Mitch has been the victim of some quite menacing harassment Nathan", Carmichael said, his words hard, cold and sharp like flint. "He's been pushed and shoved into lockers, tripped, hit, kicked, has gotten food dumped onto him, been beaten up, threatened, mocked and now… now he got attacked and one of the boys threatened to rape him."

"What?!" Nathan flew up tears streaming down his face. "No! They can't do that to Mitch! I won't let them!"

"You let them go at him this far", Joseph yelled tears going down his cheeks as well. "You only see it from your point of view Nathan now let me give you the Tigers' point of view!" Nathan looked at him with sad, hurt eyes. "Every night since you broke up with him Mitch has cried himself to sleep wondering what he did to anger you so. He did not kiss some senior! He did not cheat on you! Every day he comes back from classes with new bruises, more ruined clothes, more tears on his cheeks and less and less alive! These last few days he's been nothing more but a shell or a ghost! But it's not the physical attacks that have hurt him the most! It's what you've said to him and you laughing at him when someone dumped food on him in the cafeteria!"

Nathan had turned green and looked as if he would throw up.

"Do you know what's being said and sung around the school", Eric Everett yelled. "Some boys are going around singing Delilah and claim it to be your theme song!"

"What?!" Carmichael yelled and flew up. "Who are doing this Eric?"

"Lots of people", Eric growled. "That kid that got expelled earlier today and a few others."

"Arthur we must do something fast", Ms. Lincoln said.

"Yes", Carmichael said and sat down and then looked at the teachers. "Can you all leave us for a bit and please think about how we can stop this singing and mocking."

"Of course Arthur." The teachers left and Carmichael got up from his seat, walked around the table and then leaned on it.

"Nathan", he said. "I want you to tell me exactly what you saw that day when you claimed Mitch cheated on you."

"Why…" Nathan asked sobbing.

"Because I've seen the two of you together and… this is a secret, but some of the staff members are betting on couples that will end up as married couples a few years after school and you and Mitch have been top candidates. Nathan I've seen the way he looks at you. There is no doubt in my mind that Mitchell loves you very much, even more than himself. I've read the death note and I will now read it aloud so all of you boys can hear." He cleared his throat.

"'Nathan, I don't know why you stopped loving me but I never stopped loving you. You were the only man for me. I don't know why you claim I kissed some senior because I didn't. I would never hurt you like that and I would never stop loving you… even now when I know that you don't love me anymore. I don't have anything to live for if you don't love me. Please forgive me. I love you forever… Mitch.' Nathan, does this sound like someone that would deliberately cheat on you?"

"But I saw him", Nathan sobbed and took Otto's hand as he held it out for him. He clung to it like a life line. "In the Warbler hall. He was kissing that boy with black hair."

Wes' head snapped up.

"Black hair", he asked and everyone turned to him.

"What is it Wes", Carmichael asked and Wes squirmed out of Mark's grip and hurried up to Nathan.

"Nate did the guy have black hair, a trenchcoat, black boots and a turtle neck?"

"Um… yeah?" Nathan sniffled. "I… I think so…"

"He did", Otto agreed. "I saw him too."

"Was he taller or shorter than Mitch?" Wes asked.

"Taller… but not much. Why?"

Wes screamed in anger and hit on them both. The boys closest to him pulled him off and then stared because Wes was screaming in Cantonese at them.

"Uh Matt", Joseph said and looked at the Asian. "What is he saying?"

"What are you looking at me for", Matt said. "That's Cantonese!"

"So?"

"I'm Japanese!"

Carmichael took a glass of water from his desk and poured it over Wes' head. The boy stopped screaming and shook his head to get the water out of his face and hair.

"Sorry son but you were a bit hot on killing Nathan and Otto", Carmichael said and handed the cool downed boy a towel. "Can you tell us why you got so angry?"

"Justin", Wes spit out.

"Huh", Otto asked.

"It. Was. Justin!"

"Justin who?"

"Justin Giddeon you fucking prick!" Wes was red in the face from anger. "He was trying a new style and he and Mitch were just hanging out!"

Nathan's heart got heavy and his legs gave out underneath him.

"Nate!" Otto exclaimed but Nathan couldn't hear him.

It had been Justin, Mitch's best friend Justin. Justin that Mitch kissed often because it-was-their-thing-Justin. There was no love between them, not in that way. They just kissed because that's how Justine and also Justin was. It was like saying hi, thank you or you're my best friend with those two. The adoration in Mitch's eyes had just been him adoring his best friend for whatever choice he'd made about college or university.

It was not cheating because Nathan had told Mitch when they started dating that if he could continue to share those non-love-kisses with his best friend if he wanted to because it wouldn't be cheating. Justin/e kissed everybody, even Nathan. That's when it hit him. He Nathan Newland had murdered the boy that loved him and only him. His vision became black.

Nathan woke up alone in the darkness and when he sat up he heard a familiar song intro. He turned around and saw himself sit in a chair behind a table, dressed in orange and with chains around his hands and wrist. He was looking impassive and then started singing:

I saw them kiss on the lips that day I walked by the doorway
I saw the flickering shadows of love in his eyes – Nathan saw an exaggerated picture of Mitch making out passionately with the boy that turned out to be Justin.
He was my baby
As he deceived me I watched and went out of my mind

The arrested Nathan flew up and sang at the officer in front of him:

My my my Mitchell
Why why why Mitchell
I could see, that boy was no good for me – He picked up the picture that real Nathan knew must be of a dead Mitch and caressed it fondly.
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free

As I break down by the door he came to comfort me – prison-Nathan sat down again rubbing his forehead.
I pushed him off and I hurt and crushed him with words
He stood there hurting – real Nathan saw a "memory" of him yelling at Mitch and then saw how much he hurt.
He took that rope in his hand and he hurt no more

Mitch took a rope and stood on a chair tying something while real-Nathan watched in sadness and crazy prison-Nathan danced around the chair singing:

My my my Mitchell
Why why why Mitchell
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Mitchell I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Mitchell I just couldn't take any more – Prison-Nathan hugged Mitch's legs. Before hurrying back to his seat. Real-Nathan slowly walked up to Mitch that was crying as he worked with the rope. Real-Nathan reached out to caress his cheek but froze at the look on Mitch's face.

He lied there hurting
I have his blood on my hands and he hurts no more

Real-Nathan watched in horror as his beloved boyfriend all dressed in white stood on that chair and put a noose around his neck. He was crying.

Mitch stepped off the chair and Nathan screamed.

Nathan felt something wet hit his face and he sat up. Wes had emptied a glass onto him and the others were giving him some space.

"When we're yelling at you, you could at least have the audacity to stay awake", Wes growled before walking over to Mark that just pulled him into a hug. Nathan looked around in confusion and noticed many boys look guilty, sad, angry or confused. Otto and Jesse helped him up. Nathan looked around the room.

"I'm sorry", he whimpered and sunk down on his knees again.

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time Newland", Joseph growled.

"I'm sorry", Nathan whimpered again and started crying.

"Save that for Mitch", Malcolm spat. "We're going there. Now."

"Go", Carmichael said. "I'll inform the rest of the school about what has been going on and I'll make a stop to that blasted singing."

Mark nodded and with a secure arm around Wes he led the Warblers out.

When they got to the hospital they found Justine, Alvaro and Austin waiting for them with Lucas Bedford and Fredric Fitzgerald. They were the only ones that had been able to drop everything and come back to Westerville. Tom Bedford ran up to his brother, that was shorter than him and hugged him tight, crying. Lucas was also crying. Justine ran up to Wes and hugged him, sobbing and Wes sobbed too.

"Mark", Austin said and they hugged.

"Austin, have we heard anything?" Mark asked and Austin's face crumbled as he nodded. He'd tried to be strong for so long now but couldn't take it anymore. He broke down and Mark pulled him into a tight hug. Wes looked at him in horror, had Mitch? No, please God or whatever is out there. Mitch could not be dead! He could not be dead!

"Mitch is in a coma", Fredric said from his place hugging a few boys. "Austin and Joe cut him down just in time and Austin's CPR saved his life… but… he hasn't woken up yet."

"But… he will", Otto asked from where he and Alvaro were hugging. "Right?"

"We don't know… no one knows. His parents are here and they won't let us see him."

"Why?"

"Because they blame us", Justine growled and glared at Otto. "All this is your fault!"

"Justine", Austin said and got out of Mark's arms.

"All of this is your fault Otto Johnson!" she yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You and Nathan Newland!"

"Justine", Austin put his hands on her shoulders and she flew around and hugged him tight while crying her heart out. "Ssh… it's okay. They'll let you see him don't worry."

"He's my best friend Austin", she sobbed. "I… I can't lose him. I can't lose him! I thought he was already dead when we found him. I can't lose him because of some fucking misunderstanding! Why did it have to happen to Mitch?! He's the sweetest boy I know! He's never hurt anyone but he keeps getting hurt by people. Why does he have to die when Owen, Nathan and Otto are okay?"

"Justine…" a quiet voice said and she looked up. Nathan was slowly walking towards her.

"What the hell do you want", she asked. "Are you here to gloat?"

"No", he said and she saw the hurt on his face. "No, I-I'm sorry."

"Sorry", she asked sounded disgusted. "Sorry doesn't cut it here Nathan Newland! Mitch might be dead because of you and all you can say is that you're sorry?!"

"Yes."

"What are you sorry for then?"

"Because this is all my fault! I didn't know it was you! I saw Mitch kiss you in the Warbler hall and I thought… I… it… I didn't recognize you at all and I just… Mitch has kept away from me since school started. He's… he's avoided me so I… I thought… I thought he was not loving me anymore… or… or ashamed or blaming himself for what my parents are like… and… and I-I didn't know what to do… or think! He was so distant and… and I… I missed him and then I saw him kiss some black haired boy I'd never seen before and… and I just got so angry and… and it felt as if it all made sense!"

"What made sense", Austin asked.

"His distance from me and all the avoidance… and… and when I saw the adoration in his eyes I just broke. I… I was sure he didn't love me anymore." Nathan started crying anymore. "I thought he didn't love me anymore."

"So you called him all those words and treated him like dirt?"

"I thought it would… would make the pain go away… to make me forget him but I can't! I can't forget him because I fucking love him!" Nathan broke down completely and sunk down on the floor, crying his heart out. As he cried he suddenly felt two arms around his neck and tears hitting his bare neck. He heard a whimper and looked up. He saw a black mop of hair, but that was all he saw. But he recognized the sobs and turned around and pulled Wes close to him.

The others looked a bit shocked. They hadn't known it was more to it than just Nathan being angry and Justine realized how Nathan could actually believe Mitch was cheating. It was true that Mitch had been distant from and she knew why.

"He's not been distant from you because he doesn't love you anymore", she said and sniffled. "He just… he didn't want to bother you…"

"B-bother me", Nathan asked and looked at her. "W-what do you mean?"

Justine sighed and removed her long blonde wig, letting Justin come out…

"He was worried about me", Justin said. His voice was deeper than Justine's and more solemn.

"What for", Otto asked and Justin bit his lip before looking at his wrist. Austin's brow furrowed and he gently took the sleeve of Justin's turtle neck and pushed it up. Then he stared, as did all the other boys. Justin's arm was full of fading cuts and cut scars.

"Justin…" Austin breathed. "W… Why?"

"My mom came back", Justin said and they all stared at him… well all the boys that had been there before Wes got there. Wes didn't know either because Justin or Justine had never told him.

"So", Jesse asked. "What about it?"

"My mom had never accepted me for dressing as a girl and when she said that she was going to send me to a camp where they would perform exorcism and pull the devil out of her poor baby boy dad had enough. He sent her packing… but now she came back this summer and declared how sorry she was. She begged me to give her another chance and meat up with her at this café… after a few days I agreed…"

"What happened", Alvaro asked and Justin bit his lip.

"Justin", Mark urged softly.

"You know how they in medieval times used bloodletting to let the sick person bleed out their sickness?" he asked and looked at his feet.

"Yeah", Lucas said and Justin pointed to a cut on his arm that was not horizontal… but vertical. The Warblers gasped.

"You mean they…" Nathan asked and got up and Justin nodded. "Why?"

"So that the demon in me would come out and leave my mom's poor baby boy and make him normal… it was a café for some crazy Christian cult and… and they said a lot of stuff about me that had me hating myself. I knew cutting the way they did was much more dangerous than to cut vertical… so the rest of the summer I cut my arm when I got too low… to cure me of all the horrors my mom wanted to put me through. Dad doesn't know… it would kill him. Mitch found out and was keeping close tabs on me… he didn't want to be near you Nate because he was afraid you'd see something was troubling him and would pile it onto your own troubles…"

"Justin", Mark said. "When was the last time you cut yourself?"

"A few… days ago. The same day Nate saw Mitch and I kiss. I told him I was no longer cutting myself and that I talked to my stepmom about what happened… she promised to help me tell dad when I go home next…"

"That's why he looked at you in adoration", Nathan whispered brokenly and got up with Wes' help. Justin nodded and started to sob. He had pushed Austin's arms off of him because he didn't want Austin, he wanted Mitch. Nathan watched the crying boy and carefully moved over to him and put his arms around him. Justin flung his arms around him and sobbed his heart out.

Wes sniffled and felt a hand on each shoulder. He looked up and saw Kim and Alvaro. He sobbed and put his arms around Alvaro and hugged him tight, Kim joined into the hug. The Warblers all joined into either of the two hugs so there were two big group hugs. They had been standing there for a little bit when someone cleared their throat and they all turned to the door and saw Mitch's parents.

"You can come in now", his mother said with a cold tone in her voice. Her husband smiled sadly at them.

"He's not awake", he said softly. "But I think he'd be happy to have you there anyway."

They boys all looked at each other and Nathan looked at his feet, he could not meet the eyes of Mitch's dad. But he could feel them. Then he felt a soft hand take his. He looked to his right and saw Justin. He smiled at him.

"Come Nate", he said and tried to smile. "Let's… let's go see Mitch okay?"

Nathan nodded and the two headed for the door. Otto made to follow but Austin grabbed his shoulder.

"Let them see him first", he said and Justin and Otto turned to look at him. "I believe it would make Mitch happier than seeing us all at ones and I think they need it."

"Thank you", Justin said so low it was almost a whisper. Austin smiled and gently, but firm, pulled Otto back. Otto looked at Nathan who nodded. Otto nodded too and moved back.

"Wes", Justin said and the youngest boy looked at him.

"What", he croaked, the first thing he'd said since they came.

"C… Can you come with me… please?"

Wes looked at Otto and the blonde smiled and nodded towards the door. Wes looked at the other boys and they all nodded, lastly he looked at Austin.

"You heard Wes", Austin said. "Just needs you."

Wes nodded and hurried up to Justin and Nathan. Justin grabbed his hand and the three of them went inside and the door closed behind them. When they were gone Mr. Magnuson turned to Austin.

"Now tell me what the hell has been going on at that school", he growled and Austin looked at the others.

In all his years as Principal at Dalton, Arthur Carmichael had been forced to hold this kind of speech a few times before. Many of the boys that came to Dalton suffered from years of abuse, harassment, bullying, heartache, pain and other types of suffering. Some were already harmed beyond repair and it was too late to help them.

Mitch had not been one of those. When arriving at Dalton Mitch had not admitted to being gay, if anything he was slightly homophobic but Justin/e saw through that façade and took him to her from day one, ignoring the whole juniors-freshmen mentor thing that was going on. Carmichael had been told so by the junior that was supposed to be taking care of Mitch but… well Carmichael had seen that Justin/e would be good for Mitch and the other way around so he told Mitch's junior-mentor to leave them at it, it would be for the better. The boy had agreed but asked to help someone else instead and joined forces with another junior in taking care of a freshman.

For Justin/e and Mitch it mean that she took Mitch to her heart and was always by his side and they talked. He told her he was so "homophobic" because he was scared to admit that he was gay and she shared her own insecurities with him and they became best friends of the closest kind. Mitch had changed from the first week and got together with Nathan Newland after just two weeks of school.

Carmichael had seen the love between the two and knew that it was a strong one, one that would last all their life and that was really rare. But now that had reached a big obstacle and Carmichael knew that either they'd come out from it staying together and stronger than ever… or Mitch would die and Nathan would never be happy again.

"Arthur", Ms. Lincoln said and he turned to her. "All boys are here. Will you start with lecturing them about their behavior?"

"No", Carmichael said and walked with her towards the auditorium. "I hope they will understand their wrong-doings by themselves after my speech."

"It really is a sad day Arthur."

"That it is and I hate it every time it happens."

"How many are there now?"

"In my 30 years as principal… 8 but so far… Mitch is the only one to survive. I was informed that he is still alive… but in a coma. And I hope for the sake of these boys, all boys, that he does not die."

"I agree… But Arthur…"

"I know", he took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Come, let us handle this." He let go of her hand and they walked into the auditorium. It was full of boys whispering amongst themselves but as soon as he walked past the boys would look up and stop whispering or jibing. Carmichael walked down to the stage and up to the pulpit and looked out at his boys and he sighed.

"Year 1825 Esaias Dalton founded a school for boys with no other place to go", he said. "Boys that was not accepted for who they were. Esaias opened the school because Westerville and the nation was full of children suffering for things they could not control. Children's care was the most important thing to Mr. Dalton and he saw no difference between a boy that was dark, white, yellow, green, red, purple, had crooked eyes, had some handicap, loved boys, were poor, were rich, came from the States or from any other place. If they were Jewish or Muslim or Christian or had any other religion or belief.

He saw them all as the same and tolerated no mistreatment of boys that were looked upon as different and to this day Dalton Academy tolerates no harassment of any kind. This school welcomes everyone. Who can pay for it some say and that wounds my heart and I know it wounds the heart of the principals before me, so why? Why is it so? The school is sadly depending on the money your parents pay for tuition, some of you have no trouble doing that but some of you have and Dalton are their last resort of safety. Boys come here to learn and feel safe and that is what we learn here. The school's motto is Unus Sumus, We Are One. But now that motto seems to mean nothing."

He looked at the boys.

"These past few days one single boy has been target for cruel words and cruel actions by the very same people he ones called friends and why? For a misunderstanding. I doubt that most of you know what the reason behind this treatment it. Words as man-whore, slut, skank and other unpleasant words has been used to name this boy. A boy that has done nothing wrong and has always been a good friend, a good Dalton student and a loyal and trustworthy boyfriend, friend, brother and student.

So why? Why on this good earth did some of you see it fit to torment and innocent boy until he reached the point where he find no other way than to end his life? Is what this boy so wrong that he should no longer feel safe in school?

Earlier today I expelled four boys for physically assaulting this boy and one of them threatened to rape him over and over again. Are you proud of yourselves boys? Are you proud of knowing that right now an innocent boy is fighting for his life, a life he was prepared to take to escape all the pain, all the fear, all the hurt and all the betrayals? Did any of you that mocked him, hurt him, laughed at him, gave him the stink-eye or just ignored his need stop to think about what he was going through?"

Carmichael sighed and looked at the boys. Most of them looked guilty, some confused and a very few looked annoyed.

"I am now going to tell you all what happened", Carmichael said calmly and knew that the teachers were eager to hear this as well. "A few day ago Nathan Newland walked into a room and saw his boyfriend kiss a boy he had never seen before. The first thing he assumed… was that his boyfriend was cheating on him but that was not the case and had he stopped to listen or ask his boyfriend about it this could have been avoided. I am sure all of you have been introduced to Dalton's only female student, Justine Gideon.

Justine has a male self and Nathan has met him, just not so many times. Justin decided to change his hair color from strawberry-blonde to black and to wear a male uniform which he never does because during all the days you boys spend at this school during a semester I can count Justin's appearances on one hand. Justin and Justine has a very special relationship to Mitch and they kiss a lot of times. Nathan is okay with it because he knows that for them it does only mean hello or thank you for being my friend.

Nathan did not recognize this new Justin and took it for Mitch cheating on him. He got so angry he didn't think of asking anyone and started a war against this innocent boy. Nathan and his friends rallied the school into hating this poor boy and some did not only talk about him behind his back. Some people physically hurt him and a lot of you went out to make his life a living hell at the only school where he could feel safe and feel as if he could just be himself. The torment he endured is inhuman and against everything Dalton and her students and staff stand for."

He sighed and looked at his written speech, he had yet to say a word from it. He sighed again.

"I'm making it sound as if Nathan is the one to blame but he is not, it was a misunderstanding and we are all to blame. Yes. We are. Nathan is to blame for starting it all. Mitch is to blame for not telling anyone and for trying to end his young life that would only leave people behind feeling hurt and full of regret. You boys are all to blame for not stopping to ask Mitch's part of the story, you are to blame for the harassment and pain… and for Mitch's decision to try and take his own life. All of you could have done something. You could all have put a foot down and say: 'No. Stop this. This is not the way to treat anyone.' All of you… any of you could have told a teacher or other staff member or even the head boy or dorm prefects about what was going on and we could have avoided this.

We are here to help you, just not to learn but to be good human beings, empathic such and just. We are here to listen to you if you are sad, angry, happy, feel lonely or just feel as if everything is closing in on you. We are here to help you boys." He sighed again. "Which is why I can also pin the blame on the staff. We are out there… we see but still we don't. We all knew something was going on that somehow had something to do with Mitch Magnuson but we did nothing about it. We went against everything we teach here at Dalton and turned the blind eye. We did not see until it was almost too late and now a young boy is fighting for his life, something he should never do and for what? I did not do my job.

I heard whispers about him hurting but I did not take time off from my work to go and see him, to talk to him. If I had just done what I signed on for when I became principal that boy would be here with us now… and now he might never be again. Mitch's parents called me and informed me that he is alive, but in a coma that no one knows if he will ever wake up from. In my career this is the eight time I have to make such a speech to my boys after one of my boys suffered enough to end his life. I cannot understand how we all chose to be blind about it… every single time."

He looked at his boys and noticed that most of them were crying now or looked guilty.

"Explain it to me", he demanded. "Any of you, let one of you that went out to hurt this boy tell me why you did it. What was your purpose? What was the cause? Did you want this boy to die? Did you want him to suffer, to hurt?" He had to wipe a tear away. "We are all to blame for this. Nathan, Mitch, you boys, the staff and me of course.

There is only one thing we can do now… and that is pray. Pray for that this poor boy is returned to us and if he is… we better show him that he truly is welcomed into the haven that Dalton is. We must show him that we are not out to hurt him, that we're here for him and that no matter what bad decision he made we do not blame him for not seeing the light in his world of darkness. But… should he not make it I demand that none of you to ruin his memory and name by calling him words that are so wrong in describing him. And I'll tell you know that every student heard singing Delilah with intention of mocking Mitch or Nathan will be expelled immediately. Let me finish this speech with a few words from a song my grandchildren sang to me the new year."

He cleared his throat and read:

"There isn't much I haven't shared with you along the road. And through it all there'd always be tomorrow's episode. Suddenly that isn't true, there's another avenue. Beckoning the great divide, ask no questions, take no side. Who's to say who's right or wrong, whose course is braver run? Still we are, have always been, will ever be as one…"

Nathan felt like throwing up. The person he loved the most looked so small in that hospital bed, so pale, so fragile… so helpless. Around his neck he had dark bruises from his hanging and other than that he had bruises and cuts from the abuse. Nathan couldn't keep the tears back for just a single moment as soon as he saw his boy. He let go of Justin's hand and hurried to the bed and took Mitch's bandaged and injured hand in his.

"I'm so sorry baby", he sobbed. "I'm so sorry! Please wake up baby! I can't live without you! I need you. Please Mitch, please open your eyes and look at me. I was wrong baby, so wrong! I know that now and you tried to tell me… you tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. Baby… baby please come back to me. You can't leave me… you can't leave me so I can't show you how much I love you. Baby you must wake up and forgive me! Please baby please! Please forgive me… I… I don't know what I'll do… I can't stop loving you. I'll never stop loving you. I'm a worm, I'm scum, I'm a jerk and a bastard and the worst boyfriend ever! Baby please wake up and hit me! Please I deserve to suffer as you have! But if you leave me now I'll never survive. You can't… you can't leave me. I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! We'll adopt some kids and get a big house and… and we'll grow old together and sit on the porch and talk about all the stuff we went through together. We'll have kids and grandkids and our grandkids will have kids and they will all be just as compassionate and wonderful as you… and… and we'll always love each other. It's my dream and you've always been a part of that… ever since I saw you that first time. Mitch please… open your eyes and look at me… Mitch, please…"

But Mitch's eyes remained close and he did not squeeze Nathan's hand, he did not move at all. He just laid there as if he had not heard a single word. There was no response, no indicating of him knowing Nathan was there or hearing his voice.

"Come back to me", Nathan sobbed. "Please Mitch."

Justin walked up to the bed with Wes and they hugged Nathan, while putting their hands on Mitch and Nathan's combined hands.

"I'm not ready to let you go yet", Nathan sobbed. "I will never be ready to let you go… I love you. I just don't know how to show you…"

"Sing", Wes croaked and Nathan looked at him.

"What", he sniffled.

"Sing to him", Wes said. "He'll know. He'll hear… he'll understand."

Justin nodded and squeezed Nathan's shoulder. Nathan bit his lip and sobbed a bit more before he cleared his throat and started to sing:

For you, there'll be no more crying,
For you, the sun will be shining,
And I feel that when I'm with you, - He caressed Mitch's forehead softly.
It's alright, I know it's right

To you, I'll give the world – He put Mitch's hand to his heart.
to you, I'll never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before.

And I wish you all the love in the world,
But most of all, I wish it from myself. - tears started to slip from his eyes and he moved Mitch's hands to his lips and kissed. He couldn't continue so Wes took over singing with a low voice:

And the songbirds keep singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you, - Nathan closed his eyes and sobbed.
Like never before, like never before
like never before.

When Wes stopped singing Nathan broke down crying and mumbled to Mitch about how much he loved him and such. There was a soft knock on the door and Mr. Magnuson came into the room.

"Nathan", he said and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Can you come with me for a bit? I need to talk to you about something."

Nathan nodded and got up. Justin nudged Wes slightly.

"Go with him", he whispered to Wes.

"What about you?"

"I'll be okay", Justin said and smiled.

"I'll tell Austin to come in if he hears you crying", Wes said and hurried after Nathan and took his hand as they left the room.

Justin sat down in the chair Nathan had just left and took Mitch's hand. He sighed heavily and looked at the smaller boy.

"Don't you dare leave me", he said sharply. "Do you hear me? We need you. Nathan needs you, I need you, Wes needs you and all the Warblers need you. I'm the one who's supposed to be here because I'm the one that is constantly a mess. You're not supposed to be here… you don't deserve being here… you have to wake up… so that I can yell at you for doing something so stupid. How could you not see that we were there for you? How could you just… just give up? You keep telling me to never give up and then you do it yourself? What kind of message does that send out to me?

Mitch you're my best friend… you can't just leave me like this. What will I do if you die? Our dream remember? You helped me apply for that fashion and designer school so that I can start my own company and you'll help me. You said you wanted to be a designer too and I told you we could work together, always you and I. We even came up with a name for the company remember? Remember? You wanted to name it after me because it was my idea but I said it was for both of us… so… so we named it Just Mitch. Remember? I need you to be there with me, by my side otherwise it will be just Just and that's not right. This", he motioned for the bed, wires and lines. "This is not right either.

You can't give up now because remember what we promised Jerry and Mark and all other graduates. We promised to keep an eye on Wes and if you're gone he'll be a lost cause. Nathan, Otto and Alvaro will turn him into a boy with no sense for class or fashion. He'll be just another boy. I need you to help me stop it… I need you by my side." He gently rubbed Mitch's hand. "You're the only ones that understand me Mitchy… you're the only one that sees both Justin and Justine… you love both equally and treat them both the same. No one else does that… they see two people.

I do too which is why I need you… you keep my feet on the ground and help me find myself. You can't just leave me Mitchy… I love you. You're… you're my other half. Not in the way you are Nathan's but you get the point. I need you… and Nathan needs you. Baby I know he's sorry, truly he is. I've seen it on him. He misunderstood everything. He thought you were hiding and distancing yourself from him when you were trying to help me. He didn't recognize me that day you kissed me after telling you I haven't cut in a few days… he thought I was someone else… he didn't mean what he said baby… he was just angry and scared and sad and confused… baby you must come back to us or we'll lose you both."

He sobbed and wiped his eyes.

"You can't leave me", he said. "And you know why? It's… it's because… because…" he sighed. "It's because you're my best friend and we'll always be friends, forever and… and…" He sighed again and started to sing softly:

We're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
We're not even aware, we're such a funny pair
We're the best of friends

Life's a happy game
We could clown around forever
Neither one of us sees, our natural boundaries
Life's one happy game

If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let us play
They say we're both being fools
We're breaking all the rules
They can't understand, the magic of our wonderland

We're the best of friends
Sharing all that we discover
When each moment has past, will our friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way!
Oh I hope...

I hope it never ends
'Cause we're the best of friends

Justin's voice broke and he started crying and soon felt a pair of arms around him. He knew it was Austin, but he also knew that all other Warblers were there too. He could feel it even though he had his face buried in Austin's chest.

It was only sympathique looks that met the Warblers when they returned to the school. They had not been allowed to stay at the hospital, not even Nathan. Mitch's dad had taken him and Wes aside and told them that he had gotten the whole story and that neither him or his wife blamed this on Nathan. It was all a big misunderstanding. But he did lecture Nathan about being so childish and not asking Mitch about his side. He had talked, not yelled, to Nathan for over an hour and at the end Nathan broke down again and cried but Wes didn't have to comfort him, Mr. Magnuson did that.

When they got back to Dalton Nathan got hugs or sad smiles or pats on the shoulder or hand squeezes from everyone they met. Wes had been drained of all his energy after this emotional day, had it only been just a day? He'd fallen asleep in the car and without asking anyone Rob had just grabbed the 14-year old and hoisted him into his arms and carried him to the dorm. But… none of the Warblers wanted to be alone so they all gathered in Wes' room, except Jesse. They spread out all over the room and got extra mattresses and blankets and pillows from their own rooms.

No one objected. Justin, Nathan and Otto shared the empty bed in Wes' room and he slept alone at first. But when they realized he was having nightmares the Everetts lied down on each side of him. Mark, Lucas and Fredric had not been able to stay at Dalton so they were staying at a hotel near the hospital. They all slept two by two or three by three and they all fell asleep quite fast, emotionally and physically drained.

Every day that followed Nathan would go to class and then leave to the hospital as soon as the bell rung. He never left Mitch's side and Justin was there just as often as him. The other Warblers took pity on them and since they didn't visit just as often as the other two they still went there a lot. Otto did all Nathan's homework and Austin and Joseph helped Justin with his homework. Justin hadn't "gone back into the closet" since the day of the suicide attempt and they all missed Justine… or Just.

The graduates had to return to college and all kissed Mitch's forehead before leaving. A few other of their graduates came and went as the days passed. They and the Warblers and Alvaro all sang to and talked to Mitch when they visited. They told him of their days and often laughed together, to show Mitch that they were all friends again… but still… he didn't wake up and soon one week had passed with no difference.

The night after the first week Wes woke up when he heard his door close. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Not all Warblers slept together anymore but Nathan and Otto had made Wes' room their room for the moment. Wes looked around, the moon was giving off enough light to see and what he saw had his brow furrow. Otto was asleep on the floor, snoring away as always, but Nathan was gone… as was his shoes and bath robe. Wes hurried took his jacket and shoes and got out of the room. He knew Mitch's parents had taken Nathan aside before they all went home for the day. Nathan hadn't told anyone about what they said but he came back quiet and… lost. He didn't answer to anything, he just looked broken, lost and sad.

Wes could see Nathan slowly move down the hallways and towards the stairs. He followed quietly and noticed Nathan walk up the stairs towards the roof. He bit his lip and then walked into Nathan and Otto's room, which happened to be Lucas' old one. The room was empty of course so Wes opened the window, got onto the windowsill and moved outside. He grabbed hold of the wine that hung there with one hand and the water spout with his other. Then he started to climb.

He got onto the roof and heard Nathan do the same not far from him. Wes hid in the shadows and saw Nathan sit down near the edge. It was a cold night and there were just a fine rain falling. Wes snuck closer and saw that Nathan was crying, holding a picture of him and Mitch in his hands… and then Nathan started singing:

I can't believe he's gone.
I can't believe, that we're not together anymore.
Something in his eyes, I've never seen before.
It took me by surprise,
When they said: He won't wake up anymore.
Oh, baby.
I keep holdin' on, can't let go.
Please let me know

Why does it rain? Why does it hurt?– Nathan looked up at the sky.
Please God explain, 'cause I don't understand.
Love made me fly, now I just cry.
Please tell me why, oh, my baby
Why does it rain? – He looked at his picture again.

Wes walked up to Nathan slowly and sat beside him.

We used to be as one, we never were apart no
The sun was always shinin' in my heart.
Now those days are gone,
I miss the love we had.
No-one ever told me, life could be so sad.
Oh, baby. – Nathan was crying again.
I keep holdin' on, can't let go.
Please let me know

Why does it rain?
Why does it hurt? – Nathan looked at the picture again.
Please God explain,'cause I don't understand.
Love made me fly, now I just cry.
Please tell me why, oh, tell me
Why does it rain? – He looked up at the sky.

Wes took Nathan's hand and Nathan clutched it tightly and pulled Wes to him.

I keep holdin' on, can't let go.
Please let me know

Ooh, why does it rain?
Why does it hurt?
Please God explain, 'cause I don't understand.
Love made me fly, now I just cry.
Please tell me why.
Why does it rain? Why does it hurt?
Please God explain, 'cause I don't understand.

Love made me fly, ooh, ooh.
Now I just cry
Please tell me why, ooh, no, why does it rain?

Nathan leaned his head on Wes' and Wes hugged him tightly.

"What's wrong", Wes asked. "Why are you so sad?"

"They're turning off all machines tomorrow", Nathan whispered. "Tomorrow Mitch will be gone…"

TBC *sniffles* I think I'll go hide again now. Just so you know I've rearranged lots of lyrics in this chapter... to fit the story better. The songs are:

Delilah - Tom Jones, Songbird - Fleetwood Mac, When You're the Best of Friends - The Fox and the Hound, Why Does It Rain - Darin & I I'll give you a cyber cookie if you know the name of the song Carmichael used... or songs.

Answer to non-members' (or not signed in members') reviews:

Lissi47 - Well during his 8th grade year he starts as 14 and ends it as 15 because he has his birthday in February. And I've counted from the Swedish school system and the age I had in grade 1 and upwards. Like this: Grade 1, 7 years. Grade 2, 8 years. Grade 3, 9 years. Grade 4, 10 years. Grade 5, 11 years. Grade 6, 12 years. Grade 7, 13 years. Grade 8, 14 years. Grade 9, 15 years. Grade 10, 16 years. Grade 11, 17 years. And grade 12, 18 years.

So he is 14 when he starts 8th grade but finishes it when he's 15 since his birthday is in February.

Sydney - We'll see

HowDoYouDo - Lol I'm a drugdealer? That's a new one.