6. Hearts Will Break

"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that," Robert replied when he couldn't settle on a better answer. For the first time during their conversation he sat down.

"I never thought I'd say it..."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to spell things out very clearly for the rest of this talk..." he said slowly. "So we both know clearly where we stand."

"Alright," she agreed, her tone gentle. The heart that had loved him faultlessly for thirty years now beat frantically in her chest. She was scared by what he'd say next. Their marriage was no longer the tide that Violet had described. It was a ship, broken and damaged on the rocks the sea had sent them to.

"I've spoken to mama."

"So have I."

Robert stood beside her while their guests bid their goodbyes and said their thanks. Gradually all of them had clambered into the motors, awaiting Edith to climb in behind the driver's seat in the front vehicle.

"We should talk."

"I've told Edith I'll go with her and I won't be long... We can talk once I'm back."

"No, I've got to go into-"

"Thank you again, Lord Grantham. It's been a pleasure," Evelyn shook Robert's hand without looking at Cora.

"Likewise, Mr Napier. Thank you for stopping off here."

Evelyn kept his pretense well, quickly ending formalities to go and join his comrades.

"Come on, mama. We're about to go," Edith told Cora, hurrying off to climb into the front.

"I'll see you later," Cora told Robert, squeezing his forearm and pressing a thin-lipped kiss to his cheek. She got into the car, glancing back at him before climbing in. Robert watched the cars take off and then turned to go indoors and wait for his personal motor to be brought around.

"Goodness! Are you a complete fool?" Carson bellowed, startling Robert and making him double-back.

"Something wrong, Carson?"

"Apologies, my Lord. I'm afraid it's Dean's first time helping with the luggage as we're still short-staffed. One of the gentlemen's cases has been left behind."

"Well, I'm about to go into Ripon. We can call at the station on the way and drop it off before the train leaves if we hurry."

Carson nodded, the red in his cheeks begin to subside.

"Yes, if you're sure milord."

"Hurry about it."

On the way to the station, Robert pondered the words of his mama. It had cost him everything he had to admit his near-affair to her. After being so defeated when he told her, he hadn't really expected her to beat him down further with a telling off... He'd promised her to try his best, to salvage his marriage and appreciate Cora as he should. Her response...

"You haven't another option. You will make your marriage work. You will dismiss that maid. I won't settle for you 'trying your best', that holds no guarantee. You will act like the Earl you were brought up to be and blame nobody else for your mistakes. Am I understood?"

Once again, Violet was correct. He had to put things right. Sitting in the back of the car, he decided he'd make the first step to making things better with Cora. He'd invite her to town with him. She could come with him on his errands and they could have lunch together in the restaurant by the park.

"I'll be getting out with Thomas when we get to the station," he told Branson.

"Right you are, milord."

Meanwhile at the train station, Edith and Oliver Willows were saying goodbye...

"So... goodbye," Oliver said.

"Goodbye. It was lovely to meet you."

"And you too, pleasure was all mine believe me... Goodbye."

"Bye."

"Goodbye."

Edith giggled, "goodbye."

The other men were just starting to board the train. Cora received thanks from each of them as they went.

"I'm sorry," Cora was interrupted in her farewells. "Have you a moment, Lady Grantham?"

"I... Yes," Cora eyed Evelyn, trying to work out what he was doing. He walked back towards the station building, stopping underneath the long porch that ran down the platform. Cora joined him, ready to question what he needed to say.

"Mr Napier, I thought we'd agreed..."

"I'm sorry, forgive me for cutting you off... and I hope you'll forgive me this aswell."

"Mr N- Oh!"

Cora had her back flat against one of the porch beams, her hands groping behind her for support. Robert walked onto the platform at precisely the wrong moment.

"I know we've hit a tricky time," Robert said. "I know neither of us is solely to blame... we're as much at fault as each other... Thing is I felt so useless during the war years. I've felt so useless for so long... I had to be needed by someone and that was how..." he swallowed, pausing for a moment while Cora stood and gazed at him in mild amazement at his calm and expressive explanation. "I envied you your sense of purpose for so long. It hurt more when I became second to your work. It sounds pathetic even as I say it..."

"It's not pathetic."

He smiled without humor. "My point is I could never have had a proper affair. I just couldn't. All those thing I said... They weren't for her, they were for you. It was just what I wanted to say to you... But you have to believe me when I say she doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I loose her. It matters if I loose you, Cora."

He heard her take a quavering breath. Robert so badly wanted to remove the distance between them but he couldn't yet. If he embraced her now, he really would lose control of his emotions.

"What I don't understand," he said, reigning away from his upset and returning to anger at ignorance. "Is how you could have an affair."

"Mm," Cora had gotten over her initial shock and seemed to have forgotten herself and where she was. But it didn't take long to remember as her eyes fluttered open and she realised who she was kissing. "Mr Napier," she said, pushing him back from her and turning around to walk back out onto the open platform.

Robert was standing stock-still and staring straight at her. His heart felt it had crumpled up in his chest and compressed further.

"Robert," she murmured on sight of him, freezing to the spot herself. The train whistle blew, Evelyn said something to her that she didn't catch. The train began to move and he soon hurried to climb on board. Robert turned around at the other end of the platform and began to walk away. "Robert!" she shouted through another train whistle. "Robert!"