The plot thickens- and Hera uses her 'mom' skills to good effect. Honestly I am so glad Disney made her the way she is, because she's awesome and I love her and she's the perfect person for this kind of thing. Seriously. I don't think either Zeb or Kanan would be comfortable in Hera's place in this chapter.
Oh- and to the guest who has a bad feeling about the op... Don't we all? }:3
Disclaimer: Disney's a lot better at writing romance than me. Like, a lot better. There was Wall-E (made me cry), Lady and the Tramp, Tangled, a bunch of other stuff, FREAKING KANERA, you know.
"Could you hand over another activator?"
Sabine gladly complied, hand automatically picking out the aforementioned piece and handing it over to Hera without her ever taking her eyes off the piece she was working on. The Twi'lek thanked her, and she hummed her response. She wasn't talking much- both her hands and her head were too busy to allow speech.
Sabine found, that after she recognized she had to sort out the issue of her feelings instead of ignoring them, her head was actually a lot less busy than usual. She'd thought that sorting out her emotions would distract her from the ops- when in fact it was trying not to think about it that had proven distracting. And now that her head was free to ponder, her hands no longer stopped their task within seconds- leaving her free to make the insane amounts of explosives needed for their next op.
Usually, the Ghost crew didn't take on ops where they had to blow entire buildings. And those missions they did take were few and far between, so Sabine usually had time to stock up on bombs before they were absolutely essential for a plan again. Sure, she always had one or two on her, but that didn't compare to using dozens at once. And this time, with the sheer size of the target they were blowing and the amount they'd used on the mining facility, Sabine needed to scramble in order to make enough for the job.
Which her hands were all too happy to do. Now that she was trying to resolve the question that'd been haunting her for two days instead of suppress it, a familiar activity like making miracles was welcome. It was a fairly complicated procedure, to be sure, but one that was so natural for her hands that she could practically do it with her eyes closed.
Not that she would, of course. That'd just be stupid. And, and dangerous.
But while Sabine was focused on the task, it was so familiar to her muscles and eyes that it left her mind free to wander- and, of course, debate.
What would a miner's father know of what classifies as love for a teenage rebel? Those signs don't even matter.
But they do bring about the issue; whether or not they point to love itself, we match pretty much all of those signs, and if I think about it... he could match my own.
But he's my friend! He's a really, really good friend!
Well... no... Zeb's a really really good friend... Hera's a good friend, and so is Kanan... Chopper I don't know what he is, but Ezra... he's something more. Ha- there was that 'there's no one else like them' point again... but it was so true.
After all, had there ever been anyone like him in her life before? The other cadets at the Imperial academy might have been her age, and Sabine might have been expected to get along with them like she did Ezra, but... in the end, they were just pale, colorless, spineless, bland people, and that was even without the tasteless armor on. All of the potential 'love' interests Sabine'd had in her life just weren't up to the cut. Not only in their not being able to keep up with her, but also because their personality was just about as interesting as the featureless walls she hadn't been allowed to paint on at the Academy.
Ezra... was bright. He was vivd, he was colorful, he was spunky. He joked with her, she joked with him. He fought alongside her, and she him. They had each other's backs, and when the fights were done, they went back home to the rest of their family. He... was her partner, in a way. And honestly, she couldn't really imagine fighting without him there. He'd become an essential part to their routine-
Yeah, to everyone's routine, not just mine. Because he's my friend, nothing more.
But he's still special to me, regardless. And when have I ever felt like this for anyone? I don't even think I connect with Zeb better than Ezra...
Watch the wiring there- Zeb's twice as old as me, of course I'd connect better with Ezra!
But Zeb doesn't make you start up internal debates over whether or not you do or do not like someone. Other members of the crew make you laugh, but you didn't start thinking you loved them. You only got contradicted when Ezra popped up.
"Are you okay, Sabine?"
"Hm?" She looked up, to see Hera peering at her with observant eyes.
"You're scowling. And of all the times I've seen you scowl while making bombs, it was when they were about to explode on you." Her lip twitched, and Sabine looked back down at the explosive in her grasp, though her hands stilled.
"I can assure you, it's not about to blow. I'd be making a much heavier scowl if it was."
Hera cocked an eyebrow, hummed, and then returned to her own explosive. While the Twi'lek didn't have as much experience with wiring as Sabine did, she made a damaging enough explosive, and her help was drastically reducing her workload. Chopper had abandoned the project earlier, both in response to some rather frantic yelps coming from the cargo bay, and from the mental image of Jedi training taking a turn for the worse. He still hadn't come back yet, leaving Sabine to moderately fear for both Kanan and Ezra. The last time the astromech had interfered with their training, one had gone plummeting off the edge of the Ghost.
"You can talk if you need to."
"I know- I just... need to figure something out for myself." Sabine bit her lip, staring down at the wiring for her explosive. Everything was hooked up correctly- nice and neat and organized. Her hands had been able to do that.
So why couldn't her head?
It was late during the Ghost's night shift when Sabine was once again pulled from her internal debate. And, once again, the interrupter was in the form of a slightly concerned captain.
"Whoa- Sabine, you don't need to make all the explosives tonight! We still have all of tomorrow's daylight hours to get them done!"
"Wha- oh." Though it confused her at first, Hera's shock made sense once Sabine looked at the pile of finished explosives she'd made. Hera was right- she'd made nearly all the explosives they needed, and- as Hera'd said -a surplus amount of time to finish the rest.
"Just got a little carried away, I guess..."
"Ha- carried away is right, what possessed you to stay up this late?"
"Umm..."
Well. There was... only one reason, really. And she couldn't exactly... resolve it, instantly. What person could? This was a serious, serious matter... and it seemed that when her head didn't stop thinking, her hands didn't stop making. Bombs. Must be because it was such a familiar task to her.
Hera beat her to the punch. "You've been distracted lately, I've noticed."
Sabine groaned, leaning back onto her desk stool's backing. She'd been sitting in that area for nearly the entire day, only leaving it for refills of caf. "Was I that obvious?" Hera snorted.
"You haven't been painting, you were zoning out during the briefing, tripping over yourself, and you've had this faraway look in your eyes since you got back from the market trip. Even Ezra pointed out you were acting a little strange."
"Of course he did..." Sabine rested her cheek on her right hand, propping the elbow down on the desk and staring at the half-finished explosive. Yeah, of course Ezra'd noticed something was up. She'd noticed on Empire Day when he couldn't seem to stop thinking, so of course he'd notice when she did the same.
"What's on your mind?"
Sabine groaned. "Too much and way, way too little."
"Care to explain that?"
"I've been trying to resolve just a single issue for the past few days- and I haven't been able to think about much else than that one topic."
"Hmm. Come here- walk with me." Sabine turned to raise an eyebrow at Hera, who motioned into the direction of the cock-pit with her head. "I find it's a lot easier to talk when I'm looking out a window." Sabine looked at her explosive, determined it wouldn't explode if she left it alone for a few minutes, and stood up. As she stretched her back, Hera pointed towards her empty cup next to the miracle.
"How much caf have you been drinking?"
"Probably a lot more than the recommended amount. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday... not one of my smarter decisions, I'll admit." Hera shook her head, turning and heading towards the cock-pit once Sabine stepped out from her desk. She spared a glance at the walls of her room, and realized- even an untrained eye would notice she hadn't made any new additions. She really had been distracted.
Hera swept into the cock-pit, plopping down in her chair and leaving Sabine to take the co-pilot's. They were on Lothal's plains again, though the heavy clouds blocked out most of the beautiful sky she knew to be up there. Only a few small stars peeked through here and there, and one of the moons was mostly covered. Shame.
"Now- what's bothering you?" Hera asked, keeping her gaze up at the sky to give Sabine privacy if she needed it. Honestly, Hera just knew what to do.
"It's..." Sabine sighed, looking at her armored legs. She hadn't changed into night clothes. "It's about those stupid signs."
"The ones Ezra won't stop teasing Kanan about for the life of him?"
Sabine mouth quirked into a small smile. "Yeah, those. It's just-"
How to say this? Her pride wouldn't let it come outright, and Hera's wouldn't let it stay completely hidden. "I've... been thinking about them."
"I've noticed- every time you hear Ezra teasing one of us about them, you suddenly get really, really quiet or simply leave the room. They're getting to you, aren't they."
"Well; not directly, because I mean really, what do they even have to do with anything- they're just an old miner's definition, they don't even really apply to situations he has no idea about..." Sabine trailed off. She looked next to her to see Hera smiling understandingly.
"But they got the idea that you might love him in your head."
Sabine blinked at her. "How- how did you know-" She hadn't said anything about Ezra, had she? No, so how...?
"Honey, you've practically glued your eyes to Ezra every time he comes in the room- and every time he makes you smile, it slides off your face real quick. Trust me, I've been working with someone who tries to hide his feelings for long enough to have picked up on a few tricks."
Sabine looked back down at her legs, reviewing the past few days and concurring that she had, indeed, been pretty obvious. "So, you do admit at least Kanan has feelings for you?"
Hera smiled and looked out the viewport.
A few moments trickled by, where Sabine gathered her thoughts. Not that hard- they'd been pretty much on repeat for the past couple of hours. 'I like him,' 'no I don't, we're friends,' 'with the possibility of being more,' 'but he's just a friend,' 'he had a crush on me early on as well,' 'and now that's faded, because we're friends,' 'but I like him,' 'no I don't, we're friends,' and so on and so forth.
"Hera... I really don't know. I don't know what to think- I mean, I like him as a person, and he's a really good friend, but... romance? It just... feels weird."
"Is there ever anything new that doesn't?"
"Well... no..."
"Exactly. You're weirded out right now because this is something new- that doesn't mean the concept itself is bad. You just need to figure out where you stand, and everything'll be clear- mostly."
Sabine hummed, returning her gaze to the sky outside the windows. Mainly the visible moon- it was the clearest object in the sky; the rest was mostly hidden by the clouds. She remembered Ezra's dream of those hidden stars swirling together to make one huge, beautiful moon... She sighed.
"Even if I sort out... whatever feelings I have, it's been a while since Ezra's felt that way. Don't you think he'd've moved on by now?" This time, Hera sighed, though it was much softer and more akin to a quiet laugh.
"When Kanan first became a part of this crew, he was head-over-heels for me." Sabine stared at Hera. "The more he stayed here, though, the more he toned down. You could say he 'moved on.' And yet, after all this time, you and Ezra and even Zeb sometimes still poke us about being 'together.' If that tells you anything, it's that these kind of feelings don't really just 'go away.' You just learn to tuck them away so you don't scare anyone. Trust me- if you think you love him, he won't reject it."
It's just up to me to decide if I do or not- I'm the deciding factor.
She brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them and resting her chin on them. While talking hadn't exactly brought about the exact peace of mind she needed, Hera had managed to make the choice a lot simpler- either she loved him... or she didn't. One or the other. Well, maybe there was middle ground somewhere, but for now... option a or option b.
"You seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff."
"Not at all- I'm just older than you, and have vast amounts of experience using diplomacy. It kind of translates into wisdom when you need it to."
Sabine smiled, closed her eyes, and sat there for a few moments, enjoying the silence. Then her smile turned to a smirk.
"You realize you just plain told me at least Kanan has feelings for you."
"And I also realize that until you resolve your own questions, you won't take part in Ezra's teasing of him and me. Too uncomfortable." Sabine's smirk shrank back into a small smile.
"Yeah... ha- you two are lucky I'm even going down this train of thought. Otherwise, I'd join Ezra and wouldn't leave either of you alone until next year."
"Oh goodness yes, I know. Goodnight, Sabine- try to get some sleep, the op's tomorrow night."
"Night."
Hera walked out of the cabin, patting Sabine's shoulder on her way out. The Mandalorian resettled into her knee-pillow, still staring out at the cloudy skies of Lothal.
This would take thinking on- of course it would, that'd been what she'd been doing for the past two days -but now it was infinitely simpler to settle things. Or, it would be. Right now... she needed to sleep, as Hera said. She'd pulled an all-nighter last night, and if she wanted to be in decent condition for the op, she'd need at least some rest between now and then.
But in the morning, when her hands were once again distracted with the making of her miracles, Sabine knew she'd once again be debating-
Hopefully with a set outcome at the end.