11. Sad But True

"Where would you like to go now?" Cora asked, as they made their way back to the car. She was heavily focussed on her outing with Mary to shut out paying attention to her own troubles. They had gone into town to look at material for her going abroad wardrobe. Edith had been axed from the outing after making rude remarks about wedding cake ideas when they were out together two weeks before and so it was only Cora and Mary out shopping.

"We could see if Miss Opal has anything new in? What kind of style do you want?"

"I don't know what it is I want... I just want to look."

"Mary, are you happy with Richard?"

"Why must everyone keep on asking me that? We're perfectly fine."

"You shouldn't be fine, you should be over-joyed-"

"Lady Grantham?" Doctor Clarkson called, waving once while hurrying towards them. Cora watched him approach, vaguely confused. "I'm sorry to interrupt but might I have a word?"

"What's this about?" Cora asked.

"I wouldn't want to alarm you unnecessarily... But... do you have a moment?"

Mary watched with slight suspicion as her mother and the doctor spoke hushedly a few feet from where she stood beside the car. Mary looked around impatiently, scanning the crowds of many busy people out and about doing their business. Cora gave a loud gasp above the noise, drawing Mary's attention straight back to them. Cora's hands were over her mouth, her eyes wide at the doctor who seemed to be looking very serious and talking rather quickly. Mary pretended not to have seen when Cora made her way back to her and the motor.

"What did he want?"

"Oh, nothing..." Cora put on an uneasy smile and wrung her hands together. "I'm sorry Mary, I'm afraid we'll have to cut this short and get back to Downton. I have a few things to sort out with your father."

"He won't be back from Ripon until well into the afternoon. The kitchen staff aren't even expecting us for luncheon... Mama?" Cora was shivering, barely holding herself presentably. "You don't look very well."

"I'm fine. I'll be... fine," she breathed. "But I need to go back to the house. If you want to stay out that's fine, of course."

"No, I'll come with you. I'm not really into all this wedding fiasco today."

"Alright, well. I have to send a telegram first so we'll go there on the way."

The car took them directly from the telegram office back to the big house where Cora got out and went straight upstairs while Mary languished in her loss for an activity. Upon reaching her bedroom, Cora hurriedly and inexpertly began throwing things from her wardrobe onto her bed while she waited for O'Brien to come up.

"You called for me, milady?"

"Yes. I'll be going to London, O'Brien. This evening's 6 o'clock train will take us, I'll be going for two days. Are you happy to accompany me there?"

"Of course, milady. Shall I tell Mr Bates?"

"No, Rob- Lord Grantham won't be coming with us. Can you be ready by 5 o'clock?"

"Certainly. I'll go about getting things ready straight away."

"Thank you. Have Mrs Hughes know you have my consent to delay your other duties."

"Of course, milady."

O'Brien went from the room to collect suitcases and such, with time for a quick fag, a bitch and a moan to Thomas and then ensuring all was ready for Lady Grantham's unusual and sudden request.

Robert arrived back at Downton that afternoon having done a good days business out in Ripon seeing to some contracts and such. After an enthusiastic business day, he did not anticipate his personal affairs to turn to mush... Slightly worn and weary from a days work, he went straight up to get changed and then checked into Cora's room.

"My, you look quite flustered," Robert said on entering. And then he saw the travel cases. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm going to London. A bit of a sudden development I realise, but I've some things to do."

"Well... how long are you going? I could come with you if-"

"No, I couldn't pull you away from your business. It's only two days and I'll be busy anyway."

"What did you say you're going for again?"

"I have some things to pick up and I thought I'd call on Rosamund."

"Some things? Can't you get a servant to go collect them or have them put it on the train?"

"No, Robert, it's not that kind of..." she took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself as her pulse sky-rocketed as she struggled to produce answers to his questions. "I have a few errands to run anyway. It's only a couple of days."

"What time are you going?"

"The train leaves at 6 so we'll leave soon."

"This has all come about rather quickly. Are you sure there isn't something you've not told me?"

Cora shook her head.

"I really must be going."

"Can't you take a later train?"

"I don't want to arrive too late... I'll keep in touch, I promise."

"Well, cant... can't you go tomorrow? Give the staff time to open the house?"

"I already had a telegram sent, they're expecting O'Brien and I this evening."

"Cora, can't-"

"No, I have to go. It's only two days, Robert. Surely you can survive by yourself until then."

"Why are you being like this? I can't help feeling there's something going on here. Why don't I come with you?"

"You have things to do here, I have things to do there. I'll be busy, you'll get bored."

"I won't get bored, I could go and see Lord James-"

"Robert, I need space!"

"...What?"

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Come in," Cora called. O'Brien and Anna entered.

"We've just come for the suitcases, milady. We can wait-?"

"No, that's alright," Cora waved them in, then turning to Robert. "I have to go... I'll see you Thursday."

Violet was as dumbstruck by Cora's disappearance as Robert. Calling it 'highly demanding and unladylike' to go marching off to London with no solid reason and especially so to go by herself. Dinner was a quiet affair that evening, Lavinia and Matthew had moved into Crawley House with Isobel just a matter of days before and Carlisle was in London tending to his business so only Robert, Violet, Edith and Mary dined together, making for very sorry dinner conversation.

That night Robert curled up on Cora's side of the bed, drifting towards sleep with the vague scent of her perfume on the pillow. His only comfort while he worried constantly, pining for the relief he'd feel when he held her in his arms again...

Cora had arrived at the house in London quite late and so all that was to be done once she was dressed for bed was to read a letter and a telegram that had ended up in the evening post. Settling herself into bed once she was ready, she opened them by the glow of her bed-side light. First opening the letter, she knew it was from Rosamund.

Cora dear,
Lovely to hear from you. I do hope you and darling baby brother are keeping well. I suppose I could entertain you tomorrow afternoon around 4. Pop in to Eaton Square and we can take tea. I suppose you don't want to go out if you're to tell me this suspicious secret of yours. See you tomorrow dear.
Rosamund.

Cora sighed and set the letter aside, turning to the telegram and opening it.

Mrs Crawley,
We're pleased to confirm we have an appointment space for you on Thursday the 15th at 9am with Doctor Grove as the doctor you requested is otherwise booked until next week. If there is an issue, please contact us at your earliest convenience, otherwise we have set aside the appointment for you. Yours sincerely,
Miss Lopet
J & P London Practise

With a steadying breath, Cora put the telegram to the side with the letter from Rosamund. She turned out the light, leaving the room in darkness. She instantly wished she had Robert's arms around her, soothing her, settling her worries. She drew her knees up to her chest and let herself cry. Long and painful sobs wracked her body with great effort. Her face contorted with her upset, the tears flooded and soaked up in the pillow case and sheets. She cried until she was truly spent of emotion, too tired to fight the abandon of sleep.

"Now, you must tell me what all this is all about. Why did you leave Robert at home?"

"Believe me Rosamund, I wish I hadn't..."

"Ooh, how interesting. Do go on," Rosamund said, taking to a seat with a gleeful smile on her lips. Cora sat down also, wearing a prim expression as she waited to hear the door shut, signally the absence of servants and their ears.

"It's not certain yet... But I need your word you won't tell anyone."

"How very secretive, I am intrigued... Alright you have my word," Rosamund rolled her eyes, not taking it nearly as seriously as Cora had hoped.

"Good morning, Mrs Crawley. You've been, err..." the smartly dressed middle-aged doctor behind the desk scanned his notes. "You've been advised by your local doctor to visit us."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry your preferred doctor was unavailable today. Are you happy to proceed with me?"

"Yes, that's fine," Cora fidgeted nervously in her seat and wished she wasn't there alone.

"Alright then, would you like to follow me please?"

Cora walked back up the big stone steps to the door of the London House. A mild humidity had settled over London and made her itch to be indoors.

"Lady Grantham?"

"Yes?" Cora responded before turning around and seeing exactly who she didn't want to see.

"How..." he wondered how best to talk to her. "How have you been? I had heard you were ill."

"I'm quite well... thank you."

"It's good to see you." Cora had nothing to say, the footman had opened the door, finding safety in the house beckoned. "Have you been getting my letters?"

"I have but I've not read them," she said honestly.

"Have you a moment? I should like to talk..."

"I haven't I'm sorry."

"Could I call on you while you're here?"

"I'm leaving this afternoon. Good day Mr Napier."