12. This Girl's Warm Embrace

Cora's time in London passed by in a blur for her but it felt like weeks for Robert. He had received word that she would be back at Downton that day at 3 o'clock. In Cora's absence, Robert had told his mother of the concerns he had over her sudden business in London and the way she had conducted her departure. Of course he had immediately feared the worst that she'd gone to see The (Dis)Honourable Evelyn Napier. But he had a renewed trust in her and prayed that the man was not the reason she'd gone.

That was until he remembered a certain card he had pulled from a certain unusual deck. 'The Lovers still love. An outsider draws close with a lasting effect.' Robert only had one interpretation for those words and it did not mean a good outcome for him. Only Violet had been able restrain him from boarding the next train to London and though she didn't know about the scandal involving Napier, her words had temporarily settled him nonetheless.

She was there waiting beside Robert on the drive when Cora's motor pulled up in the early afternoon of that day. O'Brien hopped out first and began telling the newly employed footmen which bags were which. Thomas opened the door and helped her ladyship from the motor. Everyone else, servants plus Mary and Edith, remained indoors going about their business.

"Robert... hello mama," Cora greeted them with a tiredness that made Robert instantly feel on-edge.

"Cora, dear. How was your trip?" Violet asked, not bothering to keep the dubiety from her voice.

"Alright, thank you. Rosamund sends her love... Robert are you alright?" she came up to greet him properly, receiving a stiff embrace from him.

"Just fine."

"Let's go indoors," the Dowager said. "They've laid tea in the library."

"I'm actually rather tired from the journey. Would you mind excusing me?"

"I would mind and I think you'll find so would Robert," Violet said, with clear disapproving she ended the discussion there. Nobody spoke again until all three of them were in the library and the servants had left them to themselves. Cora sunk into a chair, Robert stayed standing and Violet occupied a seat opposite Cora, beside the tea table.

"Robert, dear. Why don't you voice your doubts," Violet suggested. He frowned, somewhat disliking being mediated in such a way.

"Thank you, mama," he said. "I just wonder what you were doing in London. You didn't even say what you were going there to do."

"I had some people to see..."

"And it was really that urgent?" Robert asked.

"What people?" Violet prompted.

"Rosamund and... some of the ladies we usually see during the season. I thought it might be nice to catch up... Talk of things beside war and flu." Cora said carefully, keeping her eyes to the floor the whole time she spoke.

"But everybody is still so scared to go out. I hardly think people would have welcomed social calls," Violet said.

"And why the hurry? I could have come with you if-" Robert began but got cut short.

"Robert, I told you. I appreciate we're starting to make things work again but I just needed some space."

"Space to go and see him?" Robert's tone raised, Violet looked clueless but remained quiet anyway.

"What?" Cora frowned, searching his face some kind of answer. "No... Oh Robert, no. Of course not..."

"Then give me some decent and excusable reason!"

"Calm down, Robert," Violet warned. "Anger won't solve anything."

Robert breathed deeply and then tried again.

"I don't understand why after all the progress we have made, you're going backwards. You're shutting me out again," he said, moving to take to an empty seat.

"I don't mean to shut you out..." Cora said while warily rubbing her eyes.

"Well you are," Robert said, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.

"My dear I think you ought to tell the truth," Violet advised Cora. "It can't be worth keeping secret over the sake of your marriage."

"If you'll just let me have more time," Cora pleaded them both. "I promise I'll explain everything. I just need... Oh, I don't know what I need," she sat back in her chair, one hand covering her face.

"Is it really worth saving, Cora?" Violet was staring across at her, Cora looking back at her through a gap between her fingers. "Is whatever this is worth keeping quiet over the sake of your husband's turmoil?"

Cora bit her lip and dropped her hand, looking down to the floor again.

"So I am missing something," Robert decided, standing again and looking back and forth between them. Cora took a deep breath and looked up at him, her eyes had glazed over with tears that threatened to fall on the next blink.

"You're not the one that missed something, Robert," Cora said slowly, her gaze moved from him back to Violet. "I did."

It took Violet all of a few seconds to click with what Cora had said. And when she did, she gasped. Robert was growing frustrated and worried by his mother's reaction.

"What? What is it?" he asked, looking to either of them for an answer. Both women remained quiet. Cora swallowed her tears and finally broke her eyes away from Violet to meet Robert's gaze. His brow creased with concern as he waited for her explanation.

"Robert, darling," her voice was little over a whisper. Her left hand moved from her lap and settled at her stomach with a very slow and deliberate motion. "I'm pregnant."

There was absolute quiet. Save for Violet's quiet giggles of glee that she quickly stifled when she recognised Robert not to be quite so pleased as she was.

"You're..." Robert stared pointedly at her stomach and audibly swallowed. "Excuse me," his voice broke on the request as he tried to make it to the door without showing his upset.

"I'm sorry," she said to him as he left the room. "Please, I'm sorry," Cora near-begged as she choked on the tight clutch of her own lament.

The Dowager very slowly pivoted her head from where Robert had exited back to her daughter-in-law with an eagle-eyed stare.

"I won't be long. Think on how you're going to explain yourself," Violet rose and stalked out.

Cora sat down. Her breathing had grown slightly ragged, her heart thumping at speed. Her palm lay still against her abdomen.

"I will try so very hard to love you," she looked down and whispered, pausing when she heard Robert shout truths about her and Napier. "But right now it's difficult to think how I ever will."

"I want a divorce!"

"Robert, you don't mean that," Violet scolded.

"Maybe in future I won't but right now I do - I want a divorce."

"You know how things are for our kind of people. Society will not accept-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT SOCIETY ACCEPTS! SHE BROKE MY HEART... Mama, she broke my heart."

Violet sucked in a breath and held it, trying her best to negotiate the best course of soothing her son's distress. She hadn't seen him cry in years, for the most part he was very good at holding himself together until privacy granted him chance to let go.

"Dear, I know you're hurting... I too am disgraced by her actions. But if there's a chance the child is yours- why not bet on it?"

"I don't want to hold false hope."

"But it won't be false, not if there's a genuine chance. Come now Robert, even you know you will get past this. Whatever so rapidly brought you together after Cora's flu will cement you again now."

"I didn't want to lose her."

"And you still don't."

"Why are you trying to drive me back to her? I can't forgive her, I hardly believe that you can either," he found frustration more welcoming over heart ache.

"Of course I haven't. I'll never look at Cora with an ounce of respect or gratitude again. But you will."