Part 55

No one could blame Mike and Tina for being oblivious to their surroundings. Asian Camp had been going on for about a week and they had both noticed it, noticed that something clearly seemed to bother their mutual best camp-friend. The trio spent all their time together as always but had classes with kids their own age and it was actually looking a lot better for all three this year. But sometimes Wes didn't want to be with anyone at all. He'd go off on his own and just sit and look at something in the distance. They didn't know what he was watching or why he was doing it but they could see that he was hurting. Jerry Jonston had tried to approach the younger boy and they talked a lot but Wes still didn't seem to be any happier… or lighter might be a better word for it. Wes looked as if something really heavy was weighing on him, pressing him down on the ground and made him shrink a bit. Mike and Tina were both worried but they didn't really know what to do. They didn't want to tell the grownups because they would force Wes to do something he didn't… but they had to do something.

The next day Mike and Tina were looking for Wes when they walked by the music room and suddenly hear the piano playing. It sounded fantastic and they both recognized the song. It was the theme from Jurassic Park. They walked up to the door and peaked inside. Wes was sitting by the piano, eyes closed as he played the soft introduction part of the song. His fingers danced over the keys and he wasn't alone in the room. Jerry was there with a lot of other people. Tina and Mike snuck inside and sat down on the floor near Nina and Lisa. Wes didn't seem to be aware that he was being watched. He opened his eyes and continued to play without a falter. Tina smiled at Mike and when the music went softer again after a bit intenseness Wes looked up from the keys and out the window and he started up the temp again. One of the small girls watching got up and started to dance ballet to the beat, then it sounded as if Wes was done because the music started to fade… but then he started again, with more power and more force. The girl dancing had to stop and sit down again. Mike noticed Jerry filming the whole thing on his phone. After a bit Wes stopped playing and everyone applauded. Wes jumped at the sound and twirled around. His face became red like a tomato and he hurriedly left the room, looking almost scared. Mike and Tina followed.

They found Wes sitting by the lake, on a cliff that only the three of them knew about. Wes was sitting and looking at the lake, looking really upset and it looked as if he was trying hard not to cry.

"Why d-did you r-run", Tina asked as she sat down beside him and Mike sat on Wes' other side.

"How much did you hear", Wes asked instead of answering her.

"We heard you p-play the Jurassic Park Th-Theme", Tina answered and Mike nodded. "So w-why did you r-run?"

He sighed and looked, first at Mike and then at Tina. Then he sighed again.

"I was afraid everyone had heard every song I played", he said and looked at the water.

"What did you play", Mike asked.

"Moonlight Sonata, My Heart Will Go On, Tears In Heaven, Stairway to Heaven, Nothing Else Matters, In the Arms of An Angel, Concrete Angel, One of Us, the Winner Takes It All and the Jurassic Park Theme."

"Wow", Mike said. "Didn't you play something happy?"

"No", Wes answered.

"Nothing l-light either", Tina asked.

"No", Wes and shook his head. "To tell the truth I haven't felt really happy or light lately."

"Why? I thought you had a g-great year at school w-with your friends a-and girlfriend. You s-seemed so happy when we g-got here."

"I was… until the day after."

"What happened dude", Mike asked.

"I saw a few boys bully another and I stopped them… At least I could do it this time… before someone gets suicidal thoughts."

"You don't have those thoughts do you?"

"No of course not… it's just…" He trailed off.

"What", Tina asked. "T-tell us and I'm sure you'll feel b-better." She took Wes' hand in hers and Wes gave her a small smile. He looked at the water again and sighed… again.

"This year has been a great year for me", he said. "But it has also been one of the worst. One of my closest friends tried to kill himself."
"What?!" Mike exclaimed. "Why?"

"It's a long story."

"Well we got t-time", Tina said and Wes started talking. He told them how his friend's boyfriend saw him getting kissed by his best friend. Wes had to pause there to describe the relationship that existed between Justine and Mitch, he didn't give any names because… well it wasn't really his story to tell. He then continued by telling the two about everything that happened from the breakup until the suicide attempt and so on.

"We nearly lost him", Wes said and sighed. "We even said our goodbyes to him and was ready to just… let him die and then he came back to life. I've never felt as happy as I did, never… and never as guilty."

"What for", Mike asked. "What do you have to feel guilty about?"

"I saw what was going on but did nothing to stop if. I saw what they were doing to my friend, I didn't join in but I did nothing to stop it either."

"Yes you d-did", Tina said. "You told us what you d-did and that was stopping those you could g-get."

"But I should have told a grownup about it", Wes said and lied down on his back. "If I had told my teacher or the principal the suicide attempt might've never happened."

"Exactly", Mike said. "'Might have'. Wes you have no idea what would've happened if you told someone. Maybe your friend would get the blame and even worse things happened to him. Just imagined if his coma didn't come from a suicide, imagined if it came from someone beating him up. The insurance that your friend's family has would've covered that and he would've still been in a coma. When they pulled the plug your friend came back… but if what if the suicide didn't happen and his coma was brought on by something else, what if he hadn't woken up from that."

"There's a lot of what ifs there Mike…"

"Exactly!" Mike said. "That's the thing! What if you told someone? What if that lead to worse things? My mom always says that things happen for a reason. This was a bad thing but also good in the end right? You said it brought the couple together and even got two other of your friends together. So what if this didn't happen? Would they've gotten together?"

"Probably not…"

"See!"

"You shouldn't f-feel guilty", Tina said and lied down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "You weren't the only one that s-saw what was going o-on. Everyone at your school d-did. Anyone could've s-said something. But no one did so you s-shouldn't feel guilty about something out of your c-control."

"It's just", Wes said and felt the tears slowly leak down his cheeks. "I was so sure we were losing him and I got so scared… and then another boy at the school tried to kill himself… and did it."

"What?!" Mike asked and stared at Wes in horror.

"It's true, I didn't even know this guy but I feel guilty for not feeling more upset about him dying than I do for my friend not dying."

"Wes", Tina said and took his hand.

"I know it's crazy because I didn't know the guy, but the only thing I could think about after this other guy died was that I was so happy my friend didn't die. I didn't even stop to think about what his friends would be feeling… or his family. And… and I just feel so guilty."

Tina hugged him and Mike joined into it, still all three of them lying on the ground.

"Don't feel guilty man", Mike said. "No one can tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. I think it's just natural to feel relieved that your friend is back."

"But his best friend is one of my friends…"

"And that makes you feel even guiltier", Tina asked.

"Yes…"

"Is he still mourning him", Mike asked. "I mean is he still really sad?"

"I don't know. He seemed cheerful at the summer party… but it might just have been for show you know… he said that the first movie he'll ever make will be a tribute to him."

"So he th-thinks that his friend is s-still with him so to s-speak", Tina asked.

"I think so… in dreams at least."

"I got it!" Mike said and sat up and started to look around for his camera. He was sure it was in his pants.

"What", Wes and Tina asked.

"That song from Lord of the Rings", Mike said. "You can sing that to him!"

"What? No", Wes said and shook his head.

"Oh come on", Mike said. "It might even help you!"

Wes rolled his eyes but found himself being dragged up into a sitting position by Mike and Tina.

"Singing makes you feel better", Tina said firmly and moved so that Wes was alone in the shot. He gave both of them a glare before he sighed and started to sing:

When the cold of winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams
I can hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there,
I will go there
And back again

Mike grinned at him and tried to look innocent, Tina was also smiling.

"One more", she mouthed and Wes rolled his eyes but decided to follow the same theme.

May it be
An evening star
Shines down
Upon you

May it be
When darkness falls
Your heart
Will be true

You walk a lonely road
Oh how far you are from home

Mornié Utúlié [Quenyan: 'Darkness has come]
Believe and you
Will find your way

Mornié Alantié [Quenyan: 'Darkness has fallen']
A promise lives
Within you now

May it be
The shadow's call
Will fly away

May it be
You journey on
To light the day

When the night is overcome
You may rise
To find the sun

Mornié Utúlie [Quenyan: 'Darkness has come]
Believe and you
Will find your way

Mornié Alantié [Quenyan: 'Darkness has fallen']
A promise lives
Within you now

A promise lives
Within you now...

He looked at them and Mike turned off the camera. There were tears on Wes' face again and he wiped them away in annoyance. Tina sat down beside him and hugged him. Mike put hi camera away and joined into the hug. They didn't know for how long they sat there, comforting and being comforted. The pain and grief Wes was obviously feeling came out in his voice as he sang and Tina had found it hard to fight her own tears.

Both of the younger teens wondered why Wes hadn't talked to anyone about this instead of carrying it in for all this time. He had also told them about the nearly-losing-Trixie-scare and how bad he felt about that as well. He confessed that he couldn't talk with his friends or the grownups around him because they were all hurting just as much as he did, it was their friend too and he didn't want to bother anyone. He didn't want to act like a little kid searching for comfort for everything. Tina slapped him at that, but didn't say anything. Wes knew what she meant anyway.

Mike agreed not to send that video to Wes' friend Matt and Mike deleted the video before returning to hugging Wes. But unbeknownst to them… Jerry had overheard everything and had taped it all with his own camera. He was going to send it to all Warblers, not telling them what it was about and he made extra sure that he remembered to hug Wes tightly to him during that night's events by the fire.

TBC Sorry for the delay and utter crappiness for this chapter but I had no idea about what to write for Asian Camp :S nothing, nada, zilch.

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