Chapter Twenty – Eight; Confessions

(Stephanie's POV)

The sunlight was extremely persistent that morning, determined to wake Stephanie. Every part of her body ached and her head was throbbing where she could feel hair pins digging uncomfortably into her scalp. She opened her eyes moaning groggily. Her throat felt as if it were made of sandpaper. Her stomach was growling persistently reminding her that it was very empty. She had barely touched the food on her plate from the dinner with Dess.

And just with that one simple connection all the events of the previous day hit her with what felt like the force of one of the Capitol trains.

She gasped sharply, shooting up straight in the bed.

Someone cleared their throat politely and Stephanie snapped her head around to see Frenkin looking at her expectantly.

"What time is it?" Stephanie asked hoarsely.

Frenkin gave her a small smile, and handing her a glass of water from the bedside table answered her. "Just after nine."

Stephanie drank gratefully. It soothed her throat a little.

"How are you feeling?" Frenkin asked hopefully.

Stephanie pulled the covers back and swung her legs over the bed, immediately noticing that she was still in her blue dress from the night before.

Glancing over at the mirror on the wardrobe door she caught sight of the smudged make-up and dishevelled hair with numerous pins sticking out of it at odd angles.

She sighed heavily, remembering how she didn't even bother to change having fled to her room last night, away from Haymitch and everyone.

Stephanie's heart tightened just thinking of Haymitch.

"Where is Haymitch now?" she ventured cautiously.

Frenkin frowned a little, his brows knitting together. "In his room," Frenkin replied.

"His room?" Stephanie repeated.

Frenkin nodded. "He…drank a little too much last night," Frenkin added hesitantly.

Stephanie got to her feet shakily.

"I'll get cleaned up and then go and see him," Stephanie said, sounding a lot more confident that she felt. Frenkin breathed a sigh of relief and Stephanie wondered if that was his purpose all along in waiting for her to wake-up.

Frenkin nodded, suddenly notably more cheerful.

"And then come down to breakfast. Isa says we have a big day ahead of us."

"A big day?" Stephanie inquired warily.

"Yes, but I better let Isa explain it to you," Frenkin said before with a last smile he left the room.

Stephanie sighed deeply. So Haymitch had been drinking? That was nothing new though. She knew Haymitch was fond of his alcohol. Well let's be honest, the man was a drunk half the time! But then…why did Stephanie feel that Haymitch's recent binge had something to do with recent events involving her?

Freeing herself from the confines of the blue material Stephanie removed the pins deftly from her hair before stepping into the shower and letting the water wash away all the evidence that the dinner date had ever happened.

While Stephanie was in the shower she scrubbed at her skin methodically, thinking of what she would say to Haymitch.

I don't want to tell Haymitch about Seneca…if I do and he confronts him Seneca could harm him. But what do I tell him instead? And can I really lie to him? Stephanie turned the water off and wrapping a towel around her went back into her room to search for clothes.

After wearing the green shirt and black pants constantly – except when forced to wear dresses and the such for formal occasions – they had finally been able to sneak them away from her.

She cursed loudly thinking of how the last thing she wanted to go to Haymitch in was one of these Capitol contraptions.

She went to the wardrobe pulling the door open forcibly. "Oh," she said quietly. It seemed that maybe they weren't so ignorant to her tastes after all and only wanted her to wear clean clothes.

The wardrobe now contained a few pairs of form fitting trousers in varying dark shades and some better fitting shirts.

Stephanie pulled a pair of navy blue trousers from the wardrobe and a crisp white shirt.

After getting dressed Stephanie stood in front of the mirror. She doubted Haymitch would really notice her appearance if he was suffering from a hangover, but she had found that she cared more now about what Haymitch thought of her.

Her hair was still damp and so with great reluctance she used the dreaded hairdryer.

A few minutes later she was slinking down the hallway towards where she knew Haymitch's room was. There was a slight murmur of voices coming from the direction of the main room and kitchen.

However, bare-foot she was able to make her way quietly to his room door. She paused, hesitantly pressing her ear to the door for any signs of life. All seemed to be silent.

Stephanie opened the door enough so that she could peek in.

Haymitch was sprawled haphazardly on the sofa in his room, having completely ignored the perfectly good bed. Trust Haymitch to be difficult, Stephanie thought, slipping in noiselessly and shutting the door after her.

She tip-toed over to where he was sleeping. Stephanie would have liked to say that Haymitch looked peaceful and calm as he slept, but in truth Haymitch looked as if he was being strangled. His face was twisted in a grimace and he was still clutching an empty vodka bottle in one hand.

Stephanie nudged his shoulder gently. "Haymitch?" she called.

He groaned and pushed her hand away, dropping the vodka bottle, all while his eyes remained shut. Haymitch muttered something incoherent under his breath and Stephanie cursed.

Damn it – I bet he is still drunk! Stephanie thought.

Stalking determinedly into his bathroom Stephanie filled a glass with water and grabbed a towel before walking back to Haymitch.

Without the slightest hint of hesitation Stephanie threw the water directly into Haymitch's face.

He immediately woke spluttering and then glared darkly at Stephanie after seeing the empty glass in her hand.

"Was that really necessary sweetheart?" he drawled.

Stephanie didn't answer him, just threw the towel at him.

He seated himself properly in the chair and dried his face. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his gaze flickering between her face and his hands.

Stephanie took a deep breath in preparation.

"We need to talk."

…

(Haymitch's POV)

"This is starting to get old sweetheart," Haymitch muttered darkly, tossing the towel to some corner of the room. He got to his feet, trying his best to ignore the spinning of the room.

Brushing forcibly by her, Haymitch began to rummage about his room for his hidden stash.

Searching the drawers out of the corner of his eye he saw Stephanie standing still, hugging her elbows to herself and staring off blankly.

Haymitch sighed deeply and reluctantly trudged over to stand in front of her with his hands stuck in his pockets.

Stephanie looked up and took a deep breath.

"Do you trust me?"

Haymitch frowned a little. "Yes."

Stephanie paused and nodded slowly. Haymitch eyed her curiously.

"I can't tell you what happened yesterday."

Haymitch felt bitterness flood through him and he scoffed angrily. He wouldn't admit that he felt hurt because she refused to tell him.

Stephanie flinched and he seen her eyes cloud over. Haymitch wanted nothing more than to forget it all but he couldn't. Everything he did was to help her and now she was keeping things from him?

Haymitch turned and stalked off before he stopped in front of one of the long, sleek tables pressed against the furthest wall. Clutching the table edge firmly with his back to Stephanie, Haymitch tried to quell the pounding that had started in his head.

"Please Haymitch…" Stephanie's voice wavered and Haymitch's hold on the table tightened until his knuckles were white with the pressure.

"You want me to just forget what happened? Hell I don't even know what it is I am meant to be forgetting sweetheart!" Haymitch ran a hand through his hair and turned to face Stephanie.

Tears streaked her cheeks as she hugged her arms tightly to herself.

Sighing in defeat Haymitch went and pulled Stephanie into his arms. He felt something like relief fill him as Stephanie relaxed against him, gripping his shoulders tightly.

"I don't want to hurt you…I…I'm doing this to protect you." Her words were muffled slightly against his shoulder and by her own tears.

"Hey…sweetheart. That's my job."

He felt her shoulders shake slightly with a laugh.

Stephanie pulled back slightly to meet his eyes.

"Can we pretend it never happened?" Stephanie asked, pleaded, her eyes flickering uncertainly.

Could he forget? No. Would he forget? Yes. If it meant that Stephanie's golden eyes wouldn't be misted over like they were now.

He offered her a small smile.

"You don't half make things difficult sweetheart," he said.

Stephanie exhaled in relief before giving a loud, relieved laugh.

"Woah…easy," Haymitch said, wincing slightly. Stephanie arched an eyebrow at him.

"Hangover sweetheart," Haymitch explained dryly.

She shoved his shoulder playfully before tightening her hold on him once again.

"I am sorry…" she began gently. Haymitch didn't let her finish instead kissing her firmly on the lips.

She immediately pressed herself closer against him, her long fingers twisting in his hair and pulling him to her greedily. Haymitch half-lifted Stephanie off the ground, one arm firmly around her waist and the other gripping her hip tightly.

Stephanie moaned into the kiss, her back arching reflexively as Haymitch pulled her hips against his. Their lips parted and Haymitch began to trail a line of fiery kisses down her throat. Stephanie's breaths came out in short gasps. She clung to Haymitch's shoulders almost desperately. This is the greeting Haymitch had wanted to have with her last night, before everything else had happened.

"I am sorry…" Stephanie enforced again in a rasping whisper. Stephanie gasped sharply as Haymitch's hand on her hip moved lower.

"Sweetheart…"Haymitch began. He grunted and the hand on her waist tightened when Stephanie rocked her hips against his.

"Stephanie…Haymitch?" Stephanie immediately pushed Haymitch away from her, where he swiftly fell backwards at the sudden push and collided with the floor with a series of curses.

Frenkin stood uncertainly at the door, flushed scarlet red and glancing between Haymitch and Stephanie with a confused expression.

Stephanie coughed nervously until finally she said. "He's drunk," and pointed at Haymitch.

Haymitch looked up at her incredulous. "Ha! No sweetheart I was drunk. I am now hung-over and once again in pain thanks to you."

Stephanie unsuccessfully tried to bite back a laugh.

"Your wonderful mood is one of the things I love about you," Stephanie joked.

At the realisation of her words both Stephanie and Haymitch fell into silence.

Love?

"Isa said that you better hurry to get breakfast," Frenkin said, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

Stephanie glanced up almost dazed and nodded her consent.

With a grateful expression Frenkin high-tailed it from the room.

Haymitch stood and dusted himself off, meeting Stephanie's eyes.

Stephanie gulped a few times.

Haymitch forced her to look up at him when she refused to meet his eyes.

"What was that you were saying sweetheart?"

"Something about you being drunk I believe."

Haymitch smirked.

"No sweetheart…I think it was something about you being hopelessly in love with me and my devilish good looks," Haymitch said, his hands drifting to rest possessively on Stephanie's hips.

Stephanie fought the smirk pulling at her lips. "Yeah right," she said, her arms snaking once more around Haymitch's shoulders.

Haymitch moved to kiss Stephanie and then paused, his lips hovering inches from hers.

"So what's this then?" he asked. Stephanie looked into his eyes, feeling her heart-rate speed up.

Stephanie swallowed. "I love you."

Haymitch's chest heaved a sigh of relief almost, before he pressed his lips gently against hers. It was broke after a few moments and Haymitch rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you too sweetheart."