Chapter Forty-Three; Time to Tell the Truth

(Stephanie's POV)

The photo-shoot went without incident after that. Photos were taken, make-up was reapplied and outfits re-adjusted, before more photos were taken. The process was repeated a few times before they were finally allowed to clamber gratefully into the car that would return them to the penthouse. Even the stylists looked exhausted this time.

In the car Stephanie and Frenkin sat together, her arm draped around his shoulders, his head resting on her shoulder.

Only Isa sat with them in the car and even her usual babbling had been reduced considerably.

Ficen and Alba along with the other stylists had gone off back to their own homes.

Home, Stephanie thought longingly. She would probably never see it again.

The car slowed to a halt and a few moments later the door was pulled open. Isa was first out and then Stephanie and Frenkin tiredly followed.

The lift ride up was silent and when the doors slid open even Isa could not hold back her small exclamation of surprise.

The penthouse was most notably empty. The guards were gone.

Stephanie felt relief flood through her.

Isa made her way to the main room saying something about calling someone to see about the photos and getting a sneak peek before they were released. The escort seemed notably more relaxed without the constant guard present.

Stephanie and Frenkin wordlessly made their way down the hall, separating when they came to their respective room doors, but not before Stephanie had hugged Frenkin tightly.

"See you at supper," she said quietly.

Frenkin rubbed his eyes tiredly and nodded in agreement with a sheepish smile before disappearing into his room.

Stephanie waited a moment, staring at the closed door to Frenkin's room before she crept down the hall to Haymitch's room.

She gave the door a soft knock but there was no answer so she opened it hesitantly.

Stephanie tried to assuage her worries when she had ascertained that the room was empty and most certainly devoid of any Haymitch.

He would be back soon, she reassured herself and so she returned to her own room, collapsing gratefully onto the soft bed.

She told herself she wouldn't sleep. She would wait up until Haymitch returned – there were no guards to stop them speaking this time. But she was so exhausted that within minutes her eyes had submitted defeat and had closed softly as her breathing evened and steadied.

…

(Stephanie & Haymitch's POV)

Stephanie woke sharply. She couldn't remember what had woken her but she slipped silently from the bed anyway, approaching her room door silently. Beneath the door she could see light and she could hear voices.

A feeling of cold dread began to settle in Stephanie's stomach as she warily eyed the door that was slightly ajar. The scene was too disturbingly familiar. Now that she looked around, the room was beginning to look less and less like her room and more like a hall.

Stephanie felt ice cold shivers race along her spine, fear making her mouth dry and a cold sheen of sweat beading across her brow.

She reached for the door handle and gritting her teeth she pulled the door open sharply, not willing to prolong the inevitable.

Stephanie's screams filled her own ears as she shot upright in bed. The sheets tangled around her as she fought desperately against them. Her heart was thrashing wildly against her ribcage, her blood pumping furiously against her fevered skin.

"Hey! Sweetheart, sweetheart…Stephanie, calm down!" Immediately Stephanie felt two steadying hands grasp her shoulders, pushing her back into the pillow.

Stephanie opened her eyes hesitantly, afraid of what she might see. But this was real and Haymitch was really here, sitting in front of her with his bright, grey eyes crinkled with concern and his dishevelled, dirty fair hair.

Stephanie lunged at him, knocking him backwards onto the bed. His incredulous laughter was cut off abruptly when Stephanie's mouth crashed onto his, as she kissed him deeply with a ferocity that left them both breathless.

He reluctantly slowed the kiss down, sitting up gently. When they broke apart he arranged Stephanie securely in his lap.

She immediately began speaking before he even had a chance to open his mouth.

"I am so sorry Haymitch, I was angry, proud, stubborn – wrong. I'm sorry, forgive me please…I don't …I …I can't lose you," Stephanie buried her face into the crook between Haymitch's neck and shoulder, nuzzling the warm skin and inhaling the familiar scent.

He held her tightly for a few moments before he felt the dampness against his throat that alerted him to her tears.

"I forgive you," he said. "And you won't lose me, sweetheart. Don't worry, you won't be able to get rid of me that easily." He placed a kiss on her head.

She made no reply but her grip around his shoulders tightened.

"What was it about?" he asked gently.

She stiffened slightly but she remained stubbornly silent.

"You know it helps if you talk about it," he urged.

"Oh really, then why do you drink so much?!" She pulled back to meet him, frowning and folding her arms.

He gave a slight laugh, glad to see her like this and not so…afraid.

"Alright," he conceded.

Her expression softened and she kissed him soundly on the lips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his lips.

He kissed her again before pulling back.

"This apologetic side of you is quite new, isn't it sweetheart?" he teased with a smirk.

She glanced up at him through lowered lashes, giving him a half-hearted shove before tightening her grip on him once more.

"It really does help you know. Even if you don't want to. Burying it away deep inside and trying to forget about it won't make it go away. It will still be waiting there when you close your eyes…trust me sweetheart – I know," Haymitch spoke softly, brushing tender kisses across her temple.

She inhaled shakily for a moment, her eyes shutting and then she starting speaking, so quietly that he almost had to strain to hear her and every few words punctuated by her sobs.

"I'm in my room sleeping, and then I wake up for some reason and I go towards my door because that is where…where the light…and the voices are coming from…but the nearer I get to the door it's…it's not my room anymore. And I open the door…and…and, oh Haymitch it's awful…" Her voice finally broke as she fell against him and he held her, hushing her gently.

"There's you and Frenkin, and my mother and father, my sister Weisna and her husband Dar, and my brother and little Eldi and a baby and you're all…there's blood everywhere and you're all just staring at me…and I know…I know…that you're all dead because…because you're eyes are just like his was…" She was openly crying now, her words almost indistinguishable.

Haymitch held her fiercely, hating the Capitol even more than he thought possible. He soothed her as best he could. "Who's eyes Stephanie?" he asked confused.

"Cen," she wailed. Haymitch held her in his arms but he froze, his eyes widening.

"Stephanie…Stephanie…sweetheart," Haymitch held her gently out, brushing her hair back from her face.

Stephanie gave a few hiccupping sobs before her gaze focused on him.

"Stephanie, sweetheart…who's Cen?" Haymitch asked, stroking her cheek gently.

Panic flooded Stephanie's eyes. "No," she breathed.

Haymitch frowned. "Stephanie, who's Cen?" he repeated a little sterner this time.

Stephanie shook her head, dropping her head in her hands in a hopeless gesture but Haymitch wouldn't let her. He gripped her wrists tightly, though not enough to hurt.

"Stephanie you have to tell me…you have to let me protect you," Haymitch pleaded.

Tears spilled down over Stephanie's cheeks. "I can't lose you." Her voice was so broken. It killed Haymitch to see her so weak, to know that he couldn't do anything about it. But no…there was something he could do about it. Stephanie had been carrying her secret burden for too long.

"I have told you – you won't lose me," Haymitch reassured, releasing her wrists to take her hands securely in his.

"I love you." Her words were thick with tears but they couldn't mask the sincerity of them.

"I love you too, Stephanie. That's why you have to let me protect you," Haymitch pleaded again, his own voice becoming clouded.

Stephanie struggled for a moment more, tears streaming in fast succession down her cheeks before she finally nodded brokenly.

Haymitch almost heaved a sigh of relief, resting his head against her shoulder for a moment as he held her tightly to himself.

He released her slightly and nodded reassuringly at her.

Stephanie inhaled a shaky breath, drying her tears on her sleeve. "It all began at the dinner date…"