As I walk back to my room, I can't help but notice that there are people milling about in the quad all around me, and the campus is finally coming back to life after a long break. A quick look at the sky tells me that it looks like it's late afternoon, and I figure I must have been out for about ten hours. Ten hours? Had I really been out all day? I want to think on it more, but not here. I need to get back to the privacy of my room and settle in for a long night of deep thinking. But as I enter Horse Hall and walk down the corridor, I can see that the door to my room is open. As I peer inside, I can see Virginia and Ellen unpacking and chatting excitedly with Donald, who is sitting cross-legged on Ellen's bed.

"Hey guys," I say, forcing my voice to sound as casual as possible as I shut the door behind me. At the start of break, I couldn't wait for them to get back. Now that they're here, I wished they would have held off another day. Had I really been out for ten whole hours? What happened to me?

"Hey," Virginia says cheerily. "Why are you back so early? I thought you weren't getting back until tomorrow."

"I didn't go home," I say quietly, and they all turn to look at me as I sit down on my bed. The sudden realization that I'm never going to leave Iris Academy again until I graduate hits me like a brick to the face, but I try not to let it show. They're obviously waiting for me to continue, and so I have no choice but to explain myself. "I waited all weekend for my parents to pick me up, but turns out they couldn't make it, with the snow and all."

"Aw, you should have told us," Donald says. "You could have come to our house. It would've been a lot of fun. There were a lot of people there."

For some reason, this assertion actually makes me glad that I didn't go, and that surprises me. It reminds me of another anti-social person that I would rather not think about right now. "Eh, it's fine. I got some reading done here," I say lamely.

"Reading?" Virginia asks. "Is that all you did all break?"

I hesitate. I decide not to tell them that about the book on memory spells that I had found in the library. I decide not to tell them that I had made my parents forget about me. I decide not to tell them that I had been basically hanging out with Grabby all week. I realize that I'm starting to keep a lot of secrets recently, but I don't know how to feel about anything just yet, and I want to keep my cards close to my chest until I can figure out more. There's no need to get them involved with any of this.

"Yeah," I say with a shrug. "What did you guys do all break?"

They don't seem to notice my mood as the three of them tell me all about their vacation and about all the people that had stopped by. Apparently Pastel and Jacob had gotten into a big fight, that was a bit of hot gossip that would keep the rumor mill turning for weeks on end, but I can't really bring myself to care. I nod and act interested, but my mind is elsewhere. I know I should pay better attention to what they are saying and embrace it as a welcome distraction to everything that had happened to me recently, but all of the talk about family and festivities also reminds me of my parents and the home that I gave up.

"Sounds like you had a great time," I say eventually. The heat in the room is starting to kick on, and it's getting hot with the four of us just sitting around talking. I pull my hoodie off over my head, and the dark blue stone pulls out from underneath my tee shirt, almost hitting me in the face.

"What's that?" Virginia asks as she eyes the stone.

The stone falls into place right over my heart and I hesitate, picking it up casually between my fingers. "Oh, this thing? I've always had this thing."

But Virginia is getting closer now, clearly interested. "I've only ever heard about these things. Can I touch it?"

"Touch it?" I ask blankly.

"I want to feel it," she says, smirking at me. "But I guess it wouldn't work for me. I mean, it's personal, right? It'll only work for you. So, who gave it to you?"

I tilt my head to the side. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on," Donald says. "We all know what that is."

"What what is?" Ellen asks, and I'm glad that there's someone else in this room who is as utterly confused as I am right now.

"Oh, I keep forgetting you wildseeds don't know," Virginia laughs. "It's sort of a story really. There aren't many of those stones around."

"What's it do?" Ellen asks.

Virginia raises her eyebrows and looks at me expectantly. "Who gave it to you?"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," I tell her, and she sighs.

"Okay, fine, but I'm going to tell," Virginia warns.

"Go ahead then." I cross my arms across my chest, trying to look as uninterested as possible, knowing that this will only goad Virginia on more.

"It's that knotted cord that sort of gives it away," she says. "It doesn't have a clasp or anything, does it?"

"I think it-" I reach behind my neck and realize that, no, it doesn't have a clasp. It's smooth all the way around. But when Professor Grabiner had adjusted it around my neck, hadn't he connected it with some sort of clasp? There had to be a clasp. How else would he have connected the two ends?

Virginia comes around my side of the bed to check, and I obediently hold up the back of my hair in a high pony so she can see the cord.

"No, it doesn't," Virginia confirms. "Because instead of a clasp, the person who gave you the necklace held the two ends together and sealed it themselves using magic."

"Okay," I say levelly. "So someone gave me a necklace and sealed the ends so that it doesn't have a clasp. And that is significant how, exactly?"

"And it means it's sealed," she says, putting a heavy emphasis on the last word. "You know, magically? It means it fits you and only you. No one else can wear it. It's sort of a magical tradition, a way to show someone that you're special to them."

My heart jumps into my chest, and I feel like she's waiting for me to say something. If she's waiting for me to tell her who gave it to me, she's going to be waiting a long time. "I still don't understand," Ellen says. "I get that sealing the necklace is a bit romantic, but why is the stone important? What's the story?"

"Should I tell her?" Virginia asks, turning to me.

"Go ahead," I say quickly. It's the most I can manage. I'm still trying to control the blush on my cheeks since Ellen used the word 'romantic.'

"Fine," Virginia sighs. "If you won't. Traditionally, there are two identical stones. The guy has his and then he gives the other to a girl that he chooses to be his, like his soulmate or whatever, if you believe in that stuff. And it's cute because, well, at least according to rumor, if she loves him back, she can squeeze the stone and feel his heartbeat. And if she can, it sorts of activates the two stones, and then he can feel her heartbeat, and they're like, bonded." She laughs. "At least that's the story anyway, if you buy into all of that mushy romantic true love stuff."

I make a noise in the back of my throat and I think I'm about to vomit. The implication of jewelry had been enough for me, but to know that this was a gift for lovers? For soulmates? My mind is racing. Surely, Virginia has to be mistaken, but she was right about the clasp and I had felt been able to feel a heartbeat…that was his heartbeat? I feel as though I'm about to choke on the air in my lungs. Does that mean that he has one for me? Does that mean he can feel my heartbeat?

"So who gave it to you?" Virginia asks, and I quickly pull my hoodie back on to hide the fact that goosebumps are racing up and down my arms. "Who's the special guy in your life?"

"I saw you walking around with Tommy after the ceremony before Christmas break," Donald pipes up. "Did he give it to you?"

They all spin around and look at me expectantly. I suppose it's as good an excuse as any. "It's none of your business," I say hotly, trying my best to look as embarrassed as possible. Lucky for me, I don't need to try all that hard.

"He did," Virginia claps her hands. "I knew it."

"Yeah, yeah," I say quickly, looking away from her.

"Maybe we should talk about something else," Ellen offers, and I look at her gratefully.

So we talk about other things, like our classes and the tests that are coming up, but the way Virginia had said the word soulmate still rings in my ears. Why had he given this to me? Did he do it because he thought it would help me? Is that why he didn't want me to tell anyone who gave it to me? Did he know of the implications of the necklace but want me to remain ignorant? And was that just a story, or would the necklace really not work unless I loved him? Did I really love him? It's eating me up inside. I have to know.

I wait until they get ready to go to dinner and make some excuse to get out of it. While they're gone, I slip back to Hieronymous' room, running as fast as my legs will carry me. I know I had just told him that I didn't want to see him again, but I had to get answers and he was the only one who could give them to me. The sun had set already, and it was dark and cold as I made my way across the quad and up to his room.

"Hieronymous," I shout as I bang on the door with my fist. "I need to talk to you."

I can hear him on the other side of the door, but he does not open it. "I believe you made yourself quite clear this afternoon, Ms. Brown."

I flush with anger. Sure, that's what I had said then, but I didn't know that things could have gotten even more complicated than they were a few hours ago. "Okay, fine," I shout back. "I'm just going to tell the whole school-"

The door opens suddenly, but it only opens a crack. He doesn't want me coming inside. His face is set, and he doesn't look happy. He waits for me expectantly.

"Take off your shirt," I snap. A brief flicker of surprise registers on his face before he snuffs it out. "You heard me, take it off."

"I don't believe-"

"I need to see if you're wearing it," I say quickly. "I need to know." He eyes me suspiciously. "I know, okay? So just tell me."

"Know?" he repeats.

"About the stone," I snap with frustration. I am so tired of this. Can he ever just be straight with me? Just once? "I heard the story, the whole stupid romantic story. It's a present that lovers exchange? So they can feel each other's heartbeat? Any of this ring a bell?" He glances away. "You mean to tell me that I fell asleep listening to your heart beat?" I flush with color. I hadn't exactly planned on making that information known; it just sort of slipped out.

"I know the implications," he says angrily, completely ignoring my outburst. "Which is why I didn't want you to tell anyone. But I can see-"

"My roommates aren't ignorant wildseeds like me," I snap. "Well, at least one of them is, but I didn't tell them anything. They saw it when I took my hoodie off and they knew the story. And I didn't tell them that you gave it to me, and I'm not going to, so your secret is safe with me. I'm not-" I think I see a flash of movement behind him. "What was that?"

"What was-?"

"What was that?" I demand. "Who's in there with you?"

"There's no one-" he starts, but I raise my hand to create a gust of wind to push the door open. Somehow, he swallows the spell, glaring at me. "I think you should go."

I don't need magic. I throw my shoulder into the door, putting my full weight into it, and it crashes open. Standing in the middle of the room, looking quite embarrassed, is…Minnie?

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Tori-" he starts, but I can see he too is at a loss for words. They both stand there, eyes downcast to the floor, neither knowing quite what to say.

I can't hide the look of revulsion across my face. I thought, well, I obviously knew I was wrong before when I found out that he had a wife, but this? How many students was he playing?

"I-" I honestly think that I'm about to vomit. Or cry. Or both. I look up at him, shaking my head. "I am done. I am just…so, so done. With all of this." I push past him out the door and run as fast as I can. I can't go back to my room. I don't want them to see me like this. Instead, I make my way towards the trails. It's cold and dark and there's no one around. I'm freezing, but it barely registers. Instead, I brush the snow off a nearby bench and sit down, immediately grimacing as the wet cold permeates the back of my pants. Honestly? I don't even care. That's the least of my problems right now.

What was Minnie doing in his room? How did she even know where he lived? As much as I hated to admit it, there was probably only one reason…and I didn't want to have to deal with that. Ever. The implications were just too much. Idly, I'm wondering if he gave her a stone too, or if you can give people multiple stones, or if one person can have multiple soulmates, or if such a thing as soulmates even existed in the first place, when someone walks up to me. "Hey, Tori, what'cha doing out here?"

I breathe a sigh of relief as the shadow that steps out to greet me is Tommy. I don't know why I'm relieved to see him, but I am. He's a little normal, uncomplicated light in the middle of this great big sea of confusion. "Just had to get away for a while."

"Tough break?" he asks. "Didn't you go home to see your parents?"

"They, uh, couldn't make it, with the snow," I say softly. I think about it for a moment. I don't want to tell my roommates anything. I don't want them to treat me like a fragile piece of glass or, or, I don't know. But Tommy, he's different. He's sweet, uncomplicated, and has proven himself to be a very good listener when I've needed him in the past. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course," he replies.

I sigh, and let it out. "My parents forgot me. Literally."

He frowns. "You mean, you made The Choice? The other, The Choice?"

"Yeah," I say softly. "I mean, we had been growing apart, and then, I don't know, it just felt like the right thing to do."

"Right thing to do or not, it couldn't have been easy," Thomas says, taking my hand in his. He pushes some snow off the other side of the bench with his free hand and sits down next to me. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around me, and I rest my head against his chest, snuggling into the front of his thick winter jacket. "And you were here by yourself?" he asks. "With no one to talk to about it?"

"Yeah," I mutter.

"Tell me about it, then," he says. "If you want to. You can tell me anything, you know that."

And I do. So I tell him everything, selectively editing the details. I tell him about finding the book on memory spells in the library and about Professor Grabiner coming in, seeing what I was reading, and shouting at me. How I went to Professor Potdsam's office and how she thought I only was reading the book for information on my parents, and how I had made The Choice, then and there.

"That's not right," Tommy shakes his head. "They practically forced you into it."

"They didn't force me," I say, even though I don't have the slightest idea why I'm so adamant to defend them.

"No, but saying 'erase your parent's memories and then I'll tell you what your punishment is' is a pretty strange way to go about it."

"Yeah," I shrug. "I mean, I guess."

"What if you chose not to?" he asks. "Do you think they would have sent you home without your magic?"

I shudder, and he moves a little closer to me. "Hey, it's okay, I'm here," he says. I always thought of Tommy as a cute little kid, but right now he looks so serious and deep in thought, that he does look his age, if not older. I don't know why, but I keep forgetting he's only a year younger than me.

"I care about you," he says finally. "I care about you so much that I'm never letting you go into that library alone again. No more learning for you. From now on, I'm only going to let you use Donald's notes to study from, and you know how well he pays attention."

"Nooo," I laugh out loud, smacking his arm gently. This is what I needed. Tommy was my friend. Tommy was my age. Tommy was uncomplicated. He was funny and boyish when he wanted to be, but thoughtful and protective too. I didn't need Grabiner's drama in my life. Sure, he was attractive and smart and witty and sagacious, but he was also damaged in a way that I couldn't understand. Why else would he be looking to pick up high school girls when he had a wife? It didn't make any sense. The worst part was that I thought whatever connection we had between us was genuine. I honestly thought he really cared about me…

...but I had to forget about that now. I had to put that behind me.

"I like you too," I whisper to Tommy as I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder. It's not a lie, I do, but not really in that way. Maybe I could learn to though? With enough time?