I sit in Professor Grabiner's class on Monday for a multitude of reasons, most of which to reinforce the idea that we could make out on Saturday night and I could still hold up appearances and make it look like nothing had changed between us two days later. At least, that's what I wanted him to think I was here for. I had to make sure to do this quickly, before Minnie had time to tip him off. After class, I pack up my things slowly, trying to figure out how to approach him, when he surprises me by coming over to me first.

"Come visit me this afternoon," he says. He's not looking at me. Instead he's watching the door, making sure no one sees this, and I take the opportunity to let the back of my hand brush against his as I gather up my books.

"Here?" I ask coyly. "For our private study lessons?"

He turns to face me. "You know where." I bite my lip and smirk at him, and I'm almost surprised to see him return it.

"Okay then," I say quickly. "See you this afternoon, Professor."

I return to my room and try to do some homework, but I can't focus. Obviously Saturday night had changed things for him, and they had for me too, but in a totally different way. I couldn't worry about my silly infatuation with him any longer. Something serious was going on, and although I wasn't entirely sure our feelings for each other weren't a part of it, I had to focus on the mission. I had one goal: seduce him, and get him to drop his guard long enough to let something slip. It didn't have to be much. Even figuring out just who else knew what was going on with me could prove tremendously useful.

I try to run through a list of possible suspects in my head. There was probably someone else higher up pulling the strings, so it probably wasn't another student, although anything was possible. Was it Jason? I consider this a moment. He had encouraged me to stay away from Hieronymous, at first, but then he did send me to detention… immediately after I had refused to see Hieronymous when Minnie asked. I blink. I can't believe I couldn't have put two and two together sooner. Hieronymous and Jason were working together, with Minnie, to…

And that was where I drew a blank. Hieronymous and Jason and Minnie were all working together to keep me…away from something? Away from the truth? Well, that was for damn sure, but what could have happened to me that they didn't want me to remember?

I hesitate for a moment. I think I have a general direction of where this is going, but I don't want to jump to the wrong conclusion, or worse, the right one, here. I need to see Hieronymous. I feel like the wheels are in motion, and it's only a matter of time before I figure this out.

It's only about one in the afternoon, but it is still after noon as I rush towards his door. I knock once, and he opens it immediately, as if he had been waiting for me. "Hey," I say, smiling up at him.

"Hey," he responds quietly as he shuts the door behind me. "How are you?"

"I'm," I shrug. "Good."

I look him up and down and he runs his hands up and down my arms, leaning forward to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck, letting his hips pin me to the door, as I push myself against him. He kisses me back for a moment, and I start to get lost in him again when suddenly his hands come out of nowhere, pinning my shoulders to the door painfully as he pulls away.

"What did you say to Ms. Cochran?" he asks, his voice low and angry.

"What?" I gasp.

"What did you say to her?"

"Nothing," I struggle in his grip. "I apologized for last week. You're hurting me."

"And did you also happen to mention that I said certain things to you?"

I let my head fall as I laugh, and he releases me, like he's disgusted with me. Really, it should be the other way around. "Oh, come to my room this afternoon, Tori," I mock him. "You played me and I fell for it. You didn't want me to come here today to…" I let my voice drift off. "You wanted me to come here to yell at me about risking her magic. You wanted me to come here to see just how much I've figured out."

"I've been playing you?" he demands. "Or has it been the other way around? I asked you to leave it alone. I asked you to trust me. Obviously that is something-"

"My life is in danger," I shout at him. "And yours. Do you really think I can just sit back and let that happen? If I don't know things, I could end up killing both of us." He makes a face, as if I don't know how true that statement is.

"Do you know how difficult it's been?" I ask. "To not know what's real and not real? Last Saturday in the dungeons, I could've sworn you threatened to leave me down there forever. I remember something about an ear of corn and kindness. I remember when Potdsam asked me about you for Secret Santa and I heard your voice saying that you like chamber music and wine. Chamber music and wine. I don't know that, how could I know that? But I hear your voice saying it, and I'm not sure when you told me or how I know." His jaw is set, but he looks like he's at least listening to me this time. "I'm not sure if these are real memories or fake ones or if I'm just totally losing my mind. So don't tell me to just sit there and just be patient because I don't want to. I want to do something. I want to stop it."

"The only way we can stop it is if you stop digging into this," he says, his voice low and dangerous. "Give me more time. I can figure this out, and once I do I can help you."

"And that doesn't make any sense," I yell. "You are keeping so much from me, and yet you ask me to trust you." I shake my head. "You think I'm stupid."

He sighs. "What?"

"The problem here is you've been underestimating me this entire time," I say. "The problem is you still think I'm just a silly little school girl with a crush, right? Someone who needs to be watched over and protected. Like you think I can't protect myself? Like I can't piece this all together on my own?"

I'm starting to get flashes of things now, the burning sensation in the back of my brain lingering, but I keep going. I feel like I'm finally getting closer to something, and I try to split myself between the chaos and the present. "You made Minnie swear not to say anything, and she didn't. But you really think I didn't know that there had to be a reason she was avoiding me all year? Or how you went to the Thanksgiving raffle without me?" I see a flash of him and I sitting in a restaurant, and I feel the sensation of a hot liquid burning my throat. Chai.

"You think I'm a child," I continue. "You know, I asked around, about vows and oath-breaking. You're supposed to be married, right? But why would you kiss me? Why would you kiss me and risk breaking your vows? You're not stupid enough to risk your magic over me. So why would you do it?"

"Tori-" he starts, but I can't read the expression on his face, I can't even see him all that clearly. All of a sudden, I feel overwhelmed by sensation. I want him, I want to be with him, I would do anything for him, and yet …

"After all this time, you still don't get it," I snap. "You still don't get how I can feel something real for you, and I don't understand why. Do you know how much I care about you?" I pause as something else comes to me. I've stood here before, nervous but a little bit excited. I don't feel like having fun…which is why I thought of you.

"We've kissed before," I say. I need something specific, so I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind. "The night of the May Day ball."

"How much are you remembering?" he asks. It was a stab in the dark, but that, that right there, that was confirmation. It's real. These memories are real. For some reason, the book from the library comes back to me and I can't believe how unbelievably stupid I've been. Of course these memories are real. Someone's been shielding them from me. But who? But why? That's probably been shielded too, of course, but if I'm strong enough, maybe I can see through it. I need to keep looking.

He's standing only a few feet in front of me, but he's so blurry as all these flashes race across my vision. I'm trying to look for who did this to me, but all I'm getting are flashes of me and Hieronymous. "All summer," I murmur. "I was here with you all summer. Which is why you were so upset when I didn't-"

"Tori, stop," he warns, reaching out and grabbing my arm. "Please, Tori, stop this. Please, focus."

But I can't focus, because it all makes sense now. Just like the book said, when your memory is wiped or shielded, you don't lose your impressions or your feelings. That's why I've felt so connected to him this entire time, despite yelling at him and claiming to hate him. A sudden realization crashes over me like a wave of ice water. This means I really do love him. Shit.

"I'm going to go deeper," I tell him. "I'm going to try to figure out who did this, but it's hard. There's so much here. But I don't understand. Why me? Why erase all my memories of you?"

I think he's talking, maybe he's screaming my name, but I can't hear him now. He's holding my arm, but for some reason he feels really far away. It feels like I'm starting to submerge myself underwater, slowly, my vision breaking up into fragments as it slips away from me. Instead, something else comes into focus. "I can feel you. I can feel how you feel about me. And you kissed me. You…" Something else sticks out, and I follow it down a long corridor. "I gave you my kindness and courage. You gave me your wisdom and protection."

Holy shit. "I'm Mrs. Grabiner," I exclaim suddenly, and all the pieces click together. "I'm your wife."

Suddenly I'm aware that I'm sitting on the floor, but I don't know how I got there. Hieronymous is kneeling over me and he's yelling, hands on either side of my arms. I think he's hurting me, or trying to hurt me, trying to snap me out of it, but it's too late. I don't feel anything.

"I'm strong enough to do this," I tell him. "We need to know who did this. I'm going to look deeper. I'm going to go in and I can pull myself back out. I can do this." I hesitate as what Professor Potsdam said about people getting trapped in their own memories comes back to me. "But just in case I can't, I, um, I love you, Hieronymous. I mean it."

I can't hear him. I can't even hear myself talk. I close my eyes and put my hands on either side of my head, trying to focus. "I need a name. Show me who did this to me. Show me. Show me. Show me."

Suddenly I see a flash of purple and it feels as though someone smashed me in the back of the head with a tire iron as I slump to the floor.