Holy fuck.

My eyes jerk open and I realize I'm in Hieronymous' bed…again. He's not there, and it gives me time to probe my memories. They're all there, safe and intact. The shotgun wedding, our first kiss the night of the May Day ball, the summer we spent together slowly warming up to each other…it's all there. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I reach for the stone around my neck and am grateful that it's still there. I reach down tentatively and, after a moment of focusing, find that I can feel his heartbeat.

Hieronymous? I reach out to him with my mind and get off the bed, walking over to the window. So Damien had done all this? This entire year with Tommy, that had really been Damien all along? I can remember now, walking through the trails late in August when I was surrounded with a purple light…that's when Damien had done all this, made me forget everything about how I got close to Hieronymous, made me forget-

Suddenly the door flies open and he walks in. "Hieronymous," I gasp, rushing forward into his arms. He wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. He stays like that for a few minutes before he pulls away, holding me at arm's length.

"Are you okay?" he asks, looking me over.

"I'm alive," I reply. "Are you okay?"

He frowns and looks away. "You should see Professor Potsdam. She wanted to talk to you as soon as you woke up." There's an edge to his voice that I pick on immediately, and I don't like it.

"Is everything okay?" I ask softly. "I remember everything now. I-"

"You should see Professor Potsdam," he repeats, drawing away from me.

"Okay," I say quickly. "And then I'll come back, so we can talk."

He doesn't say anything so I just leave the room. I'm too stunned to cry, too stunned to feel anything. I thought he would be happy to see me, happy to see that I'm not dead, but he didn't seem relieved. He seemed tenser than ever. Has something else happened?

As I walk up to Professor Potsdam's office, I notice the door is ajar. "Professor Potsdam?"

"Oh come in, come in, Tori," she says quickly. "Sit down, dear." I slump into the seat, barely able to move. "You played your part perfectly dear."

"Part?" I echo. "What part?"

She gives me a knowing look as she sits down at her desk across of me. "In capturing Damien, of course," she says.

"You knew this whole time?" I demand.

"No, no," she says dismissively. "No, I had some suspicions, but I didn't know it was him for sure until the night he tried to kiss you. Then when he was in my office I managed to link his spell signature to the same one on your memory spells, but I didn't know why he would do it, so I waited until he made his move."

I hesitate for a moment. "But Ellen said-?"

"Oh, Ellen's fine," she says. "Both of your roommates are fine. The note to you was charmed, of course, to look like it was from her. But we found Virginia and Ellen in one of the library closets; they were hit with a pretty strong sleeping spell."

I close my eyes and turn my face away. At least they're okay. "So Damien's dead then?"

"Yes."

"And all my memories are returned to normal?" I ask.

"Not quite, dear." She gets up and comes around to face me. "Hold on, this might sting a bit."

Suddenly I'm hit with a bright flash of light, and I feel a rush of colors and images and sounds rush through me. Hieronymous kissing me after detention, approaching Minnie in the library, confronting him about it, remembering…everything… "Wait, I remembered everything?" I blink up at her. "And you…you shielded that from me?"

"Well, I didn't feel right just wiping something that personal from you," she said, sitting down again. "But it seemed to be the only way to wake you up." I hesitate, running through the memories again.

"So is everything okay now?" I ask. "Is everything back to normal? Will I not have that brain-itchiness anymore?"

"You should be fine," she replies. "Although I understand it might take you a while to come to terms with everything that has happened. It can be very difficult to experience this kind of violation." She looks away. "I am so sorry that you had to go through this, dear, but it seemed to be the only way to draw him out so that we could put a stop to him for good."

"And Minnie's going to be okay now? And my roommates?"

"Are all fine now," she says. "You've been out of it for a few days while you healed. Your injuries were very severe."

"And Hieronymous-" I begin. "He wouldn't even look at me. He just told me to talk to you." She looks away. "Please, tell me, what's happening?"

"He has…" she hesitates. "Scheduled the severance for the end of this month."

"He what?" I exclaim, unable to hide my shock. "But he never even asked me-"

"But your memories are back now," she says. "Which means that you can consent to the divorce."

"But I don't consent," I say. "I don't want-"

"Semantics, dear," she sighs. "Consenting only means that you are competent enough to make the decision. If he really wants to end it, there's unfortunately nothing you can do."

"But-" I can feel my heart breaking in my chest. After everything I had been through, now he was just going to leave me? No, this couldn't be possible.

"I tried to dissuade him," she sighs. "But he was adamant. I think seeing you almost die was a shock to his system; it was like watching Violet die all over again."

"But I'm not Violet," I say frantically, tears springing in my eyes. "I'm here, I'm not dead."

"But he thinks it's all his fault," she shakes her head sadly. "I had so hoped that man would finally get some happiness in his life, but I think this is…it. I'm sorry, dear, I know this isn't what you wanted."

"No, no, no," I say frantically. "I-" I feel something rise in my throat. "No, I need him right now. I-I-I-" I run my hand through my hair. I don't even know what to say.

"Go talk to him, dear," she says. "If there's anyone who can change his mind, I think it might be you. As before, you have my blessing. Best of luck, sweetheart."

She waves her hand over me, and suddenly I'm back outside his room. I rush inside, not even bothering to knock. He's standing in front of his open window, a bottle of something alcoholic in his hand.

"You scheduled the severance?" I demand. "Without even talking to me first?"

He doesn't even look at me. "There's no point." He sounds defeated, but I'm too angry to care.

"Well, I don't consent to this ending," I snap. "I'm not ready to let this go until we talk about this first."

"It's already done."

"No, it's not done." I want to throw something at him. I want to shake him. Instead, I run over and put both of my hands on either side of his face, trying to get him to kiss me. I kiss him, pulling at his lips, urging him on, but he won't kiss me back. His breath smells like alcohol. "Why?"

My voice cracks as he moves away from me. I can feel the breeze of early March blowing in through the window. It's raining, and it looks like it's about to storm soon. "I watched you die," he says softly. "For a moment, I couldn't feel you-"

"But I'm here now-" I take a step closer to him, and he takes a step back so I stay where I am. "I'm not dead, I'm right here."

"Your life is linked to mine," he says. "If you had died, without me being able to protect you, I-"

"So this is what it is?" I demand. "Self-preservation? Is that why you don't want to be with me anymore? Because if I die you go down with me? I'm not going to die."

"You almost did," he shouts back.

"Okay," I say. "Once. But Damien's dead now."

"And last January? When you tried to save me?" he demands. "You almost died then too."

"But you saved me then," I yell back. "We got married, and I thought we agreed to try to work this out."

He shakes his head. "Too much has happened."

"But it's not my fault," I shout at him. "It's not my fault that Damien took all of my memories, I-" I shake my head. "No, this can't be happening. I was supposed to have months to work this out, months to convince you not to go through with the severance in January. I never got a choice in this-"

"Supposed to?" he yells back. "Supposed to? Violet wasn't supposed to have screwed up her spells, she wasn't supposed to die in the Otherworld. But she did. She died. It wasn't supposed to happen but it did. Welcome to the world." He spreads his arms. "Every student coming here to learn magic thinks they're so invincible, that nothing can touch them. But sooner or later everyone is going to end up here. Like this."

"It doesn't have to be like this," I shout at him. "You just can't get over the fact that I'm not her."

"Don't you say that," he yells.

"No, it's true," I shout at him. "You're afraid that I'm going to end up like Violet, so you just want me to go away forever so I don't have to trouble you anymore." He looks away. "This has never been about my age, or the fact that I'm a student and you're a teacher. This is because you're afraid that if something happened to me, you wouldn't be able to take it."

"I would lose my magic-"

"If I'm going to the mall and the bus blows up, you wouldn't lose your magic," I yell. "You only lose your magic if you break your vow or explicitly fail to protect me when you could have otherwise prevented it. So don't use that stupid self-preservation argument. You're afraid of getting hurt, so you're hurting me instead."

"You have the rest of your life to get over it," he says bitterly, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand.

"And do you think I'm going to be able to get over it?" I demand. My voice is trembling as much as my hands. "Do you? Really? After everything I've been through over the past few months?"

"Tori, I'm not having this conversation-"

"Really?" I demand. "Don't you owe me that much? It's been twelve years and you're still not over Violet. Do you think I'm going to just get over you? I was practically the same age as you were when you lost her."

"You don't know-"

"And you don't know me," I yell.

"I think I know you pretty damn well," he yells back. "Considering I've been reading your diary."

"You've been reading my what?" I demand.

"Your diary," he yells. "From last year. Potsdam gave it to me to keep track of your memories. And I read through it over, and over, and over again."

I blanch, but I'm not going to give this up. I'm not going to give him what he wants. "Then you know how much you mean to me."

He shakes his head. "I shouldn't mean anything to you. All I do is hurt people-"

"Will you stop?" I demand. "You are such a fucking child, do you know that? It's like you break one of your toys so you refuse to touch another one ever again. Do you know how stupid that sounds? That you got hurt once so you're refusing to let anyone get close to you, ever again? Do you know-?"

"That's exactly what you just said to me," he yells. "You said you'd never be able to get over me."

"And I won't," I yell back. "Because this is completely different. I never had a choice in this. I never had a chance to make things work between us. This entire year I was stuck between trying to remember why I liked you so much and trying to get you to like me back." I'm fighting back tears again. "Do you think I'm ever going to get over this? Do you know how violated I was? I lost my memories."

I can't stop myself. "So, what, you're going to just let me go and then I'm just going to have to –what? Deal with the fact that I should have been better, smarter, stronger? That I should've been able to see through Damien's glamour, that I should have been able to take back my memories and still hold onto you?" My fists are shaking by my sides. "All those what-ifs you had about saving Violet, how you're afraid they're going to haunt you the rest of your life? Well I'm going to have those about you." My voice is jumping between hysterics, but I don't care.

"And the worst part is that I thought that you would be there for me. I thought that when I woke up you would hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. That you would work with me and at least give me a chance to work this out with you. But no, you're done with me. You can finally be out of this stupid union once and for all and then I can jump out in front of however many buses I want, because you don't give a shit. This entire time I was trying to figure out how much you cared for me, and now I'm so glad to know that this entire year has been only about you saving your own skin."

"You know that's not true," he says. "Even after the severance, we can still talk-"

"Oh, like that'd ever be the same?" I demand. "I still remember what you said to me in the mail room. The 'perhaps after I graduated?' So what, are we just supposed to spend two years awkwardly skirting around each other until you decide to be with me again? As if the second I turn eighteen, or the second I graduate, things will be any different?"

"I shouldn't be with anyone-"

"You're such a child," I yell at him again. "Yes, just spend every day locked in your golden tower so no one can get close to you. So you can just be rude all the time and push people away. You want yourself to be miserable, and that's why you're pushing me away. Because you know I make you happy, because you know I care about you, and because you're afraid that we might actually be good together. And we might actually be happy and that scares the shit out of you."

He doesn't say anything for a long while, and I let my voice drop. "Even if you love me, you're not going to forget her. I wouldn't want you to." He looks up at me sharply, and I think I see tears stinging in his eyes.

"Tori-"

"You're a coward," I yell. I don't want to hear anything else he has to say. "I vowed to give you my kindness and my courage, but you're too much of a coward to even accept it, to even try. Because you don't want to be brave. You want to be selfish and make sure that you don't ever have to get hurt, and that's why you don't mind hurting everyone around you. Then you never have to worry about the consequences."

I shake my head. He's not saying anything now. He knows I'm right, but he won't accept it. "You know what? Take some time. Think about this. Stop blindly jumping to decisions and really fucking think about what you're doing. Do you really want to end this so you don't have to protect me anymore? Are you doing this for you? Are you doing this for me?" I shake my head. "Because I am telling you, you're not doing this for me. You're not being wise, you're not 'acting in my best interests' you're just being a fucking coward. My best interests right now, is staying and working things out with you, and I have a whole long list of reasons why, and I can count them off, but you're not even fucking listening, are you? You're just counting the seconds 'til I'm gone." I can see him stiffen.

"Think about it," I tell him. "Find me when you're ready to let me know what you've decided."

I want to storm out, but that seems too simple. Just walk out, slam the door? I look up at the sky, at the rain starting to fall, and it reminds me of something, a faraway memory. It's a long shot, it's a desperate, last-ditch attempt, but it may be my last option. I step out onto the window ledge, and he looks at me, really looks at me. "Tori, what the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Are you going to keep being afraid and hide in here all day?" I ask, my voice raw in my throat. "Because after everything that I have just gone through, I am not afraid." He tries to use a spell to pull me off the ledge, but I see it coming even before he moves his hands and block it with ease. I glance below me. I am on the second floor, and it doesn't look like it'll be very….comfortable for me if I fall. He's standing less than three feet away from me now, and he's paying attention. I choose my next words very carefully.

"You're a good person. You act mean and cruel to everyone around you, but I know you. You are a nice person. You would do anything in your power to protect me, not just because you care about me, but because you care about people. And I can see it. I'm not going to die. You're not going to get me killed. I can take care of myself, and we can take care of each other." I suck in a deep breath. I've said it, now I have to prove it. "Think it over."

I close my eyes and jump backwards out the open window.

Okay, this had better work or else this is going to end with him picking bits of my brain off of his lawn.

Come on, teleport.

Teleport, let's do this.

Go, go, go.

Come on-

And that's when my body hits the ground.