So, before we get started, a little story: last night I say to my boyfriend that I have a film for us to watch, it's got great reviews etc etc. Pour myself a glass of wine, put on Boondock Saints ... and as soon as Norman Reedus appears he slides me this look that says well-this-explains-a-lot.

What, darling, I'm just as surprised as you are! *innocent look*

I hope you enjoy today's chapter! Special thanks to sarah0406 for the 'just another Ana' line.

…

'Wait a bit outside,' Daryl said to Beth. 'I'll walk you back to your apartment.'

It was just after ten p.m. when they arrived at Beth's home. She expected him to slip away then but to her surprise he came upstairs with her.

His words ran through her mind. Stay here with me.

She hadn't given him an answer yet. She had to think about it. It hadn't even occurred to her that staying in Berlin and helping people like Ana was something she could do long term. She'd thought her choices were get out, or stay and keep her head down. Working with Daryl was a new, other thing. A dangerous thing.

When Beth let them both in Maggie and Glenn were just finishing dinner. They were both surprised to see Daryl, but neither of them gave them an enthusiastic welcome. Beth tried to smile as she hovered in the kitchen doorway. Daryl hung back, saying nothing, his hands deep in his coat pockets.

'Where's Shawn?' Beth asked.

'In bed. Early shift.' She looked between the pair of them. 'Been talking about how you can help you-know-who?' she asked, looking meaningfully downstairs.

Maggie meant Ana. Beth felt herself blush, as she had been thinking about how she could help Daryl in a broader sense rather than her family. It had seemed selfish, to betray her country in order to make her life elsewhere. But to do it on behalf of others who desperately wanted to see their families again, that didn't seem so sordid. And it did mean helping Maggie and Glenn, too.

Maggie noticed Beth's guilty look and nodded, her eyes narrowed. 'Thought so.'

'Hey.' Daryl stepped forward, his expression hard as he looked at Maggie. 'This been easy for you, has it? To decide to go?'

It was Maggie's turn to flush red. She shrugged one shoulder. 'Well, yeah.' Conscious that the wireless wasn't on, she said in a whisper, 'We don't have lives here.'

Daryl's voice was low and husky. 'I'm real pleased for you. But if you think this is an easy decision to make then you ain't thought about it hard enough. Night, Beth.'

He slunk out of the room, closing the door hard behind him. Beth watched him go, feeling wrung out.

'There's dinner on the stove,' Maggie muttered, and made to leave.

'Wait,' Beth said. She looked between Glenn and Maggie. They looked as tired as Beth felt, but they were going to listen to her. 'I know why you didn't include me in your plans from the first. You think I'm just another Ana, don't you? Too weak to get out.'

Maggie glared at her and switched the wireless on to cover the sound of their conversation. It was the usual propaganda. The Stasi were working hard to keep the 'fascists' out of East Germany. The factories were so productive that they were selling surplus synthetic fabrics to Hungary.

'We weren't going to leave you behind,' Glenn said. 'But we were worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. It's going to be dangerous.'

'I know that. Probably better than both of you. And you're wrong,' Beth said, looking at them hard. 'I'm the one who's going to get you out.'

Maggie and Glenn exchanged a look.

'Daryl … he seems like he trusts you,' Glenn said.

Beth shrugged. 'I think so. He keeps a lot of secrets, but we talk about things.'

'Um, Beth?'

Beth turned to her sister, who had a guilty look on her face. 'Have I been … kind of a bitch about this?'

Beth gave her a tired smile. 'Yeah, you have a bit, but I know it's not me,' Beth said. 'You want to get out. I wanted to be more understanding, but you just sprung it on me.'

Maggie nodded. 'I did. I'm sorry. I guess I just always assumed that you felt the same way as me.'

'And Daryl's wrong,' Glenn said. 'We have thought about this. We're ready to go.'

'It's not that simple,' Beth said. 'You heard what he said last time he was here. You have to work for the group first, wait your turn. That means becoming a traitor. Are you prepared for that?'

Was she prepared for that?

'I'd rather get shot or imprisoned trying to get out than live like this,' Maggie said.

Beth couldn't say the same thing about herself. She wanted to live, but she didn't think she could just keep her head down, either.

'Have you already started working for the group?' Glenn asked Beth. 'You've been coming home late a lot.'

'Some nights. But some nights I'm just at typing school.'

'What does he have you doing?' Maggie asked.

Beth smiled. 'Sitting in a cold flat watching a so-called safe-house that I'm pretty sure is not a safe-house. He doesn't confide in me much. I'm not part of anything yet.'

'But you will join now, won't you, and he'll get you to do other things?' Glenn said. 'I mean, you can get into Stasi Headquarters.'

She bit her lip. 'Yeah, I guess so.' She could probably handle nosying about. She just hoped she didn't have to assassinate anyone. The cyanide capsule in the champagne was still a joke, wasn't it?

Maggie sat back, looking happier than she had in days. 'I'm so relieved. I thought you weren't going to be with us on this, Beth. I want us all to be together.'

Beth looked at them both, wishing they could see the hesitation in her eyes, the fear. The fact that she didn't want to go. But they only saw what they wanted to see. She was too tired to explain things to them, so she just gave them a wan smile and went to bed.

…

Daryl looked down at Merle asleep on his floor, the top of his head resting on the linoleum, still fully dressed. There was an empty bottle of whisky in his nerveless hand. He'd missed having blood around but he hadn't missed this. The idea of his brother was a comfort. The reality was an intrusion. A suspicious, unwelcome intrusion.

He kicked Merle in the thigh. 'Get up, you goddamn lush.' His room stank of stale booze and unwashed flesh. It wasn't as if he was a fussy housekeeper but it was a small space and Merle was invading it.

Merle groaned, one hand . 'What the fuck time is it?'

'Four in the afternoon. Have you even moved all day?' He'd just got back from his shift at the auto shop, he was greasy and dirty and he wanted a shower.

'Sure did, baby brother. Got my papers and everythin'.' He reached inside his coat and pulled them out.

'The fuck you did.' Daryl snatched the documents from his brother's hand. They looked real enough. Stamps, insignias. 'They just gave them to you?'

Merle sat up, looked at the whisky bottle and then kicked it away. 'Yeah. I told you, easy as fuckin' pie. Spun them a sob story 'bout gettin' trapped in the West. It's the ones that want to go the other way that they're worried about.'

It could be true, Daryl thought. There was Merle, and there were his papers. He didn't have the money or contacts to get forgeries. 'You still ain't told me how you got here.' Merle had been irritatingly mysterious about that but Daryl was fast losing patience.

Merle chuckled to himself. 'You remember those two blonde bits we used to hang out with? Sisters. That older one I never managed to pin down, but ooo-wee, I wanted a piece o' that.'

'Andrea?' Daryl said, not able to believe his ears. 'Andrea and Amy?'

'Yeah. They came over the Wall not long back and –'

Daryl dove for the wireless on the floor next to his bed and turned it up. Loud. He turned to Merle. 'Are you fuckin' crazy, bro?' he growled. 'You're in East Berlin now. You don't fuckin' talk like that.' And not in his flat, when Daryl had been the one to get them over - or rather under - the goddamn Wall to begin with.

Merle stared at his brother. Then he burst out laughing. 'The walls have ears?' he asked, putting his hands in the air and wiggling his fingers.

'Yeah. They probably fuckin' do. Even if they don't, just watch yourself or we'll both end up in prison. Now, in a goddamn whisper, I want you to tell me what the fuck Andrea and Amy have to do with this.'

Still chuckling, Merle said, 'I ran into them not far from where I was livin'. They told me how they escaped through a tunnel thanks to some group of renegades. Got them to tell me where the entrance was, and here I am.'

Daryl stared at his brother. Andrea and Amy had told Merle, just like that? They'd been sworn to secrecy, secrecy that was meant to last forever. There were spies in West Berlin working for the Stasi for this very reason, to work out how people had escaped. The girls knew that, but they'd still blabbed to Merle. What the hell?

'Did they tell you who the renegades were?' Daryl asked.

'Nope. Didn't tell me a goddamn other thing. Said I could use the tunnel if I felt like but I was crazy if I wanted to get back in.'

It was crazy. This side of the Wall was paranoia and danger and not a shred of privacy. It was queues and cold and a colourless existence. Had Merle really wanted this? Daryl didn't know. But he was furious with Andrea and Amy. Maybe they'd thought it was okay seeing as Merle was his blood. But it wasn't okay.

It really fuckin' wasn't.

…

Beth thought she'd never seen anyone blush as deeply as Frau Grimes did when Beth arrived at work. Beth had got over her shock at seeing her and the commandant, and now she just felt sorry for the woman.

Frau Grimes stood. 'Beth, shall we get some coffee? I – I want to explain.'

Beth glanced at the commandant's door. It was closed. 'It's all right. I wanted to say sorry for barging in. I thought that the room was empty.'

Frau Grimes gave her a smile that didn't reach her eyes and turned toward the little kitchenette down the hall. Beth followed her a moment later after taking off her coat and gloves. When she got into the kitchen Frau Grimes grabbed her hard by the arm and dragged her into a corner even though there was no one else around.

'It's not what you think,' she hissed, her nails digging into Beth's arm. 'I'm not cheating on Shane. Comrade Walsh.'

Beth didn't know what to say. She would bet money that Comrade Walsh didn't know about her and the commandant.

'You need to understand, Beth. You don't say no to a man in his position. If you don't keep him happy, then …' She shook her head and took out her cigarettes, handing one to Beth and lighting it. There was a haunted look in her eyes, and Beth saw that she was right in her earlier assumption: Lori didn't want to sleep with the commandant. She wondered if he knew, or cared.

'There are certain advantages to this job,' Frau Grimes explained. 'If you want them, then you have to keep the people above you happy.'

'Frau Grimes –'

Frau Grimes gave her a wry twist of a smile. 'I think we can dispense with the formalities, don't you?'

'All right. Lori. You were so kind to me when I started and I was very grateful for that. I don't think you're a bad person, but were you hoping …' She trailed off. Lori grimaced, and she knew that she was right.

'Was I hoping you'd take him off my hands? Yes. I'm sorry. It's awful, but I'm trapped you see? I can't tell the commandant to stop or I'll lose my job. I thought you liked him, and if you did there wasn't really any harm.'

Beth shuddered a little. 'I did like him. He was kind, and he's handsome.' Lori looked hopeful, and Beth realised Lori still thought there was a chance she'd take him off her hands. 'But the look on his face when I saw you both … You couldn't see it, but it was truly dreadful. Like he hated you.'

Lori smoked her cigarette, looking gloomy. 'I've seen it, believe me.'

Lori said she was trapped, but Beth didn't believe it. No job was worth what she was going through. Being forced against her will. Lori seemed to have a taste for the finer things in life, but no amount of silk stockings and Western cigarettes were worth degrading yourself like that. 'Can't you tell him that you love Walsh? He knows you're together.'

'I think that's what makes it twice as fun for him, being able to shake Shane's hand at functions and talk politics with him, all the while gloating over the fact that he's screwing me.'

What was wrong with the man? How could he seem so affable but conceal such a cruel nature? It was doubly shocking as Beth wondered if she would have found out before it was too late, like Daryl had said. Before he had her over the desk and ... It didn't bear thinking about. She should be more careful with whom she trusted.

Did that mean she should be wary of Daryl, too? Could he be hiding something from her?

Beth asked, 'Were you sleeping with him when you were married?'

'God, no. It was a mistake that happened when I was vulnerable, and I haven't been able to stop it since.'

They smoked their cigarettes in silence.

'Is he in today?' Beth asked finally.

Lori shook her head. 'I haven't seen him.'

Beth was glad, and hoped he had important things to do, time consuming things, far far away.

…

Daryl fell into step with Beth when she was halfway home, just peeling out of the shadows and paced beside her.

'It's time to get Ana out. Are you in?' His voice was low and husky, and he stood close, his arm pressing against hers. She could feel the strength of him. His face was hard, like there was something on his mind troubling him, but she guessed that if she asked that he wouldn't share what it was.

Beth felt a thrill go through her. It was time for her to decide: was she in, or was she out?