Chapter Two – Satisfaction Guaranteed

"How are you holding up, Lauren?" Dyson took his eyes off of the road long enough to give the Doctor a concerned glance.

"I'm fine." Lauren held a small cloth up to her neck. "It's only a minor laceration, a few millimeters deep. Stitches won't be necessary. And according to the International Clinical Recommendations on Scar Management, the application of silicone gel polymers and an oral dose of methylsulfonylmethane should…"

"I get it, I get it. You're okay."

"Dyson, did you know that woman?" Ciara leaned in from the backseat. "Only, I got that impression from the way you reacted when we saw her on the surveillance video."

"I've knew of her, but this was the first I'd ever seen her. She's been in town for a few weeks with that human sidekick, taking odd jobs for the Dark."

"So she's Dark Fae?"

"No. Unaligned."

"What?" Lauren narrowed her eyes at Dyson. "How is that even possible?"

Dyson shrugged. "I don't know her backstory. Everything I've heard is rumors."

"Don't need to know her backstory to know that she's smokin' hot," Hale chimed in. "Listen Doc, if you aren't gonna hit that tell me right now because I've got plans that involve red wine, Barry White, a sexy succubus and very little clothing…"

"Ugh, Hale. That's a visual I did not need." Lauren groaned. But in the back of her mind she couldn't help picturing herself in the exact same scenario. She turned and looked out the window so the others couldn't see the sly grin spreading across her face.

"I need a snack," Bo bit her thumb sharply, hoping the pain would drown out the hunger. She looked over at Kenzi.

"Uh uh. No freakin' way…this human is NOT on the menu." Kenzi squeezed the steering wheel. "Besides, you succ'ed the plumber this morning!" She changed the tone of her voice. "I'm sorry mister, I think there's something wrong with my pipes. Well, maybe I should come in and have a look…I have just the tool for the job. Bow chicka BOW WOW…"

"Kenzi," Bo interrupted as Kenzi danced in the driver's seat. "I'm not kidding. I need to feed."

"It's that chick that wanted to turn me into shish kabob, isn't it? She's got you all riiiiiled up? She's got your lady bits blue? Can't Bo get no sa-tis-fac-tion? Has't she left thou so unsatisfied?"

"Kenzi!"

"Okay, okay." Kenzi loved picking on Bo, but she could tell this was serious. She scanned the roadside for a victim, and noticed a man in a business suit sitting alone at a bus stop. "Today is your lucky day, buddy." She pulled over and patted Bo on the thigh. "Have fun. Don't hurt him too much."

Bo's eyes glowed blue as she stepped out of the car and stood in front of the clearly awestruck businessman. She grinned. "Hi. My name is Bo." She put a hand under his trembling chin, and tilted his mouth up to hers. "You're going to miss your bus."

Lauren, Dyson, Ciara and Hale sat across from each other in a back room at the Fae bar, the Dal Riata. Dyson placed the Llangareth Stone in the middle of the table, so they could all get a good look. "This Stone is worth more than the GDP of most small countries," he said.

Hale whistled in amazement.

"Please don't do that." Lauren whispered.

"You're never going to forgive me for the Incident, are you."

"No, I'm not," she replied tonelessly, staring at the object on the table. "This doesn't look like a 'stone', does it? It's more…"

"Pendant?" Ciara said.

"Amulet?" Dyson added.

"Talisman?" Hale chimed in.

"I was going to say 'shiny', but your answers are better." Lauren grabbed the stone and held it to her eyes for a closer look. It was brilliant polished green jade, carved in the shape of a dog.

"Can you tell what it is?" Dyson asked.

"If I had to guess, I'd say it's the Gwyllgi. Also known as the Black Dog of Destiny. A mastiff-like dog from Welsh folklore that haunts quiet roads late at night." She grinned at Dyson. "I think you and he would be good pals."

"A free round of drinks for my conquering treasure hunters!" The owner of the Dal, Trick, placed a tray of overflowing beer mugs on the table.

"Thanks Trick, but we prefer payment in cash," Dyson said.

"All in good time, my friends. A deal is a deal after all." He was practically bouncing up and down as he took the stone from Lauren. "Would you like to see what it does?"

The four leaned in close to watch Trick. He placed the stone between his palms, closed his eyes, and rubbed his hands together, chanting an incantation in Old Welsh. He opened his palms and lifted the stone skyward as the chant reached a crescendo that was almost a shout.

They waited, breathlessly.

Nothing happened.

Trick opened one of his eyes. It swiveled to glare at his four 'conquering' treasure hunters. "You fools. This isn't the real Stone. You've been duped."

Bo strutted from the alleyway, hair disheveled, shirt half-buttoned, looking completely satisfied. Kenzi was relieved to see the businessman stumble out of the alley a few seconds later, clearly exhausted but most definitely still alive. Bo opened the car door and plopped next to her best friend.

"Feeling better?" Kenzi asked.

"Hell. Yes." Bo sighed deeply and leaned back against the chair as Kenzi pulled back onto the road. "Where's our booty?"

"North of our thighs and south of our back."

Bo rolled her eyes. "Where's the stone?"

"Glove compartment," Kenzi replied, grinning.

Bo gave the panel a few well-placed smacks before it opened. Everything in this car was either falling apart or stuck together. The driver's side door didn't open anymore, and if you rolled the windows down you'd never get them back up again. Trying to use the heater could cause asphyxiation. But still, the car was her baby. She unraveled the stone from its hiding place in a handkerchief, and twirled it between her fingers.

"The Morrigan was right about bringing a fake," Bo said. "I wonder how she knew that other team was looking for it too?"

"That woman knows everything that goes on here. A gal can't even take a piss in this town without her finding out about it."

"Ew." Bo looked at Kenzi with disgust. "You're right, though. So, what do you think it does?"

"Don't know. Must be something kickass for so many people to want it. My money's on super-powered-ultra-mega Fae aphrodisiac."

Bo raised an eyebrow and looked at the stone in a brand new way.

"Don't even think about it, Captain Vajayjay. You take an aphrodisiac and you're liable to wipe out the entire population of Canada and half of the United States."

Bo carefully wrapped the stone back in the cloth, and put it away. "Good point. Better safe than sorry."