Chapter Six – Brown Eyed Girls
Two Days until the Zamora Ball
The dulcet tones of a sitar drew a confused Kenzi to the Clubhouse basement. She walked downstairs to see Bo, sitting on a cushion in the middle of the room, surrounded by approximately nine thousand tealight candles – a fire hazard if there ever was one. The mellow music twanged from the CD player in the corner. "WHAT is going on in here?" She yawned and took a sip of coffee. "Did I die and go to Tibet?"
Bo breathed deeply in and out before answering. "Last night I polished off a convenience store clerk, some guy at a 24 hour burger joint, and an off duty cop. And I'm still hungry. So I'm trying something different."
"Auto-erotic asphyxiation by scented candle smoke?"
Bo kept her eyes closed, palms pressed firmly together. "No, knob. If I'm still hungry, that means I'm not getting enough chi from my…encounters. And I can't exactly suck people dry. So I'm opening myself up to higher levels of sexual ecstasy through Tantric meditation."
Kenzi did a spit take, and a small droplet of coffee landed on Bo's face. She slowly opened an eyelid to glare at Kenzi, and wiped it off.
"Oh honey," Kenzi came over and gave Bo a big hug. "Dr. Hotchacha has you aaaallll messed up in the head, doesn't she?"
"It's not about Lauren."
"Off cooooourse it isn't." Kenzi mussed Bo's hair, and sat on the floor next to her. "So is the meditation working, at least?"
"No." Bo's shoulders slumped forward, and she pouted. She grabbed the mug from Kenzi. "Have you ever had someone use your own power used against you?"
"I got pickpocketed on the subway once. Does that count?"
"Sort of." Bo took a sip of coffee. "She knew I was hot for it even though I said I wasn't, and she used it to mess with me. I got played."
"Bout time you got a taste of your own medicine, miss red-glowy-touchy-feely-sexy-times," Kenzi teased.
Bo narrowed her eyes. "She's good. Too good. 'I don't like games', my ass."
"Not that I'm condoning you know, felonious assault, but you could just go over there and do your sexy Succubus lady love thing. Get it over with so I don't have to keep hearing about it."
"No way. That would mean she won, and I'm not giving her the satisfaction," Bo scoffed. "If she wants it, she's going to be the one that makes the first move, not me. And I," Bo gave an evil grin, "am going to make it impossible for her to resist."
"So then you can lord it over her for all eternity? Like elementary school playground style 'nyah nyah nyah'?"
"Exactly."
Kenzi rolled her eyes. "Now that is the stuff that healthy relationships are made of."
Lauren grinned through the entire workday. She grinned while taking blood samples from an angry ogre with inflammatory bowel disease. She grinned while cataloguing exotic mold spores collected from the apartment of a banshee with a hoarding problem. She grinned while on a house call to a fury complaining of migraines and ringing ears. In short, she was on top of the world.
She spun on the stool in front of her microscope and whistled the tune 'Brown Eyed Girl', tapping out the rhythm on her clipboard. Her lab assistant Moira, a harpy, gave her the evil eye. Lauren just grinned back, not caring that her co-workers probably thought she was crazy or high on a new experimental Fae drug.
It had been worth it, giving herself a massive case of blue vag, just to see the look on Bo's face when she was denied. DENIED. The thought that she could have that kind of control over Bo, a succubus, was exhilarating and painfully titillating at the same time. If you can out-lust a Succubus then you've done a damn good day's work.
It made her feel all warm and tingly.
"Someone's in a good mood today." Dyson walked into the lab and sat on the stool across from her. "Especially considering you nearly died last night."
"Psssshhh. Two goblins? Not a problem," Lauren grinned. She couldn't help it. Dyson could tell her that the city was being overrun by rabid djieiene and it wouldn't make a difference.
Dyson leaned forward. "Here's what I don't understand. The second goblin had a deep gash along his throat. And all you had was a needle to defend yourself."
Lauren leaned forward to join him at the center of the table. "I have very strong fingernails." She made a claw and swiped at the air, grinning like an idiot.
"Uh huh." Dyson grunted. His cellphone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He read the text message and frowned.
"Something strange…in the fae-borhood?"
Dyson looked at her, mouth agape, before doing a facepalm and shaking his head.
Lauren stifled a laugh. "I've wanted to use that line for six years…"
"And today was the day, and I was the victim? Gee, I'm flattered."
"I am immune to your sarcasm. And I regret nothing."
Dyson smirked and held up his phone. "That was Hale. We just caught a break in our homicide case, so we'll be working at the station late tonight. Can I ask a favor?"
"Of course."
"I'm supposed to meet a courier at the Dal tonight to hand off the necklace. We already have payment from the buyer. The meeting is at 9:15 sharp, in the back, west corner near the unicorn statue. Can you go in my place?"
"Do I get commission for this?"
"Order yourself a couple of drinks and put it on my tab, then we'll call it even."
"Deal." Lauren shook his hand.
Bo checked herself out in her bedroom mirror. Her leather short-shorts clung to her like they'd been painted on, accentuating the natural musculature and firmness perfectly. "Bo Dennis, gives good ass," she winked and pointed at her reflection. "Vogue."
"Were you planning to put pants on, or should I call the hospital and have them save a couple dozen beds for Succubus drive-by victims?" Kenzi walked in, munching on a slice of pizza.
"What are you talking about?" Bo flipped her hair over her bare shoulders and straightened her black tube top.
"Anyone dressing like that is looking to get laid. And with you these days it's like potato chips…bet you can't eat just one."
Bo made a face, but didn't say anything.
"So, where ya goin'?"
Bo zipped up one boot, then another. "The Dal."
"You…hoping to run into someone? A certain…brown-eyed girl?"
"Maybe."
"Well babe, if she can resist you wearing that you're just barking up a very wrong, very heterosexual tree."
Lauren was still in a great mood that night. She got to the Dal early, to give herself time for a drink and some conversation – although Trick was still pouting about losing the Llangareth Stone. She stood next to the unicorn statue, and dipped her hand into the pocket of her blue leather jacket to make sure the necklace was still there. She had the bad luck charm safely wrapped in a handkerchief, just in case merely touching it caused Ciara to fall down the stairs or Dyson to spontaneously combust. She heard footsteps coming her way.
"Oi! Sweetheart! Make with the merchandise, I haven't got all day."
Lauren almost spit out her beer. "Vex? You're the courier? My my, how the mighty have fallen." She looked him up and down and tried not to laugh. The mesmer looked the same as she'd seen him last; dog collar, greasy hair, pirate beard, guyliner. Lauren didn't know the specifics, but she knew he'd had a falling out with the Morrigan – again, and that he was no longer the favored hit man of the Dark Fae.
"You're still a pain in my arse. That hasn't changed." Vex gave her a smile, which on his face looked more like a smarmy grimace. "How long has it been, then?"
"Let me think." Lauren tapped her chin with her finger. "Two months? The last time we saw each other, I had my hand at my throat and was about to strangle myself to death."
"Not to death. Catatonia perhaps, but not death." Vex smirked.
Lauren tilted her head to the side. "You know, I always thought that if you shaved your beard and put on a little makeup, you'd be a carbon copy of that guy from The Cure."
"Bollocks. I'm more the Russell Brand type, love. Besides, I invented gothic. Where do you suppose Bram Stoker got his inspiration for Dracula? Not Vlad the Impaler – I knew him, and he was a self-aggrandizing twat. Now," Vex twirled a finger and Lauren found her hand moving at his command, "time to hand over the package. Where oh where could it be?"
Lauren felt her hand slide down into her back pocket. Vex grinned and flicked his finger up and down, forcing Lauren to rub her own ass. She put up with about two seconds of this before rearing back and kneeing him full force in the crotch.
"Holymotherfucking-bloodybastard-sackoffuck." Vex slid to the ground, grabbing his crotch with tears streaming from his eyes. Lauren pulled the handkerchief from her pocket and tossed it on the floor next to his writhing body.
"It was nice to see you again. Good luck in your new job." Lauren winked, then turned and walked away. Her body jolted involuntarily as she spotted Bo, sitting on a barstool, staring at her with what could only be described as 'rip-my-clothes-off-and-do-me-now' eyes. Lauren's gaze dropped down, as Bo slowly uncrossed and crossed her legs in a pair of shorts that shouldn't even be legal in public. Lauren felt a familiar churning in her nether regions, but somewhere in her rational cognitive regions it occurred to her that Bo was putting on this show for her benefit. Bo was baiting the trap.
Bo watched as Lauren ran a hand through her hair, and sauntered over with an impossible amount of hip swagger. Her breath hitched in her chest as Lauren leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Nice outfit." Before Bo could respond, Lauren was gone, hip swaggering right out the door of the Dal and into the street.
Lauren hailed a taxi, her grin so wide she feared for cheek muscle sprains.
Bo sat at the bar, mouth wide open in shock. "Nice outfit? That's it?" She hissed to herself. Vex limped by, holding his junk, still in tears. "Buddy," Bo patted him on the back, "I know exactly how you feel."