Later that week, I hang around after white magic class with Professor Potsdam to talk to her about the final. I had continued to try to draw out hints from Hieronymous, but he wasn't supposed to say, and told me next to nothing aside from the fact that he didn't want me to take it. This was troubling in itself. Hieronymous Grabiner, who prided himself on knowledge and learning didn't want me to take an exam? Especially a final? Something strange was going on, and I knew only Professor Potsdam would be able to clarify the situation. After all, she was the acting Headmaster, and she had authority over the final examinations. If she was the one who had originally said she didn't want me to take this final, then there had to be a reason for it.

"Ah, Tori," she says as the students filter out of the classroom. "How are you doing, dear?"

"I'm doing well," I say. "Hieronymous and I are actually getting along extremely well."

Her face lights up. "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. I've noticed a change in him, it's subtle, but I do believe you are softening him."

"Oh, don't tell him that," I say quickly. "He's worried about his reputation remaining intact."

She shakes her head. "That man. Nothing he does should surprise me anymore, and yet, here we are." She looks up at me. "So what can I do for you, Tori? You have a question for me?"

"Um, yes, Professor," I say quickly. "Hieronymous told me that you didn't want me to take the final."

"That's right," she says.

"I mean, I want to take it," I hesitate. "I want to be on even footing with everyone in my class, you know? I don't want people to think that I get to skip the final because of my relationship with a teacher. But at the same time, Hieronymous doesn't want me to take it, and it just seems like there is something seriously weird going on if Hieronymous doesn't want me to take a final."

"Sit down, Tori," she says, and she points a finger at the door. It closes, leaving the two of us alone in the room. I slip behind one of the desks in the front row and wait for her to continue.

"If I tell you what the test is about, it will invalidate you from taking part in the examination," she says. "Just so we are clear. Do you understand?"

I frown, but I had kind of expected this. "Yes, I understand. Hieronymous said that he thought I could pass it, but that he would be worried about me if I did. That doesn't make any sense to me. Is it really dangerous?"

"Well, that depends on you," she says. "In your third and fourth years, you will learn a much different type of magic. Right now, you are learning the basics in order to develop your skills. Over the past two years, each of you has developed a taste for your own particular style of magic. I believe you, Tori, dear, prefer blue magic, am I right?"

"Yes, Professor," I reply.

"Exactly," she says. "But the important thing that you must remember is that the magic doesn't come from any external source, it comes from inside you, and therefore you must know yourself better than your own best friend. You must be able to rely on yourself to produce magic, even in situations of extreme danger or peril."

"It may be of no surprise to you, Tori, that you were already tested when you and Professor Grabiner confronted Damien in the gymnasium. You have already proved that you can do magic, and you can defend yourself, under periods of extreme duress. That is what the test would have asked of you, and you have shown that you have already passed."

"But what is in the test itself?" I ask. "How would I have been tested?"

"That is different for everyone," she says. "We don't design the test. We put you in a dungeon and let your mind work out the rest, letting you confront your three worst fears."

"Worst fears?" I repeat. "Like, worst worst fears?"

She chuckles. "Some students are afraid of spiders, snakes, or clowns. If you're afraid of the dark, you can use magic to make a light. If you're afraid of a spider, you can fight it, or you can transfigure it into something else. What about you, Tori? What are you afraid of? What do you think your three worst fears would have been?"

I bite my lip. "Losing my memories again," I say immediately. It seems like the most obvious one. "Losing Hieronymous? Being trapped in the gymnasium with no way to defend myself?" I look down. "Having Damien actually, you know, kill me?"

"You see?" Potsdam asks. "There are plenty of spells to confront a snake, but there aren't many spells that could help you get past the fear of dying, aside from fighting through the pain." I shudder. I have absolutely no desire to relive what Damien put me through. She notices this. "You see? You went through something painfully traumatic, Tori. We are all aware of this. You are just starting to heal. I know for a fact that you still haven't been in the gymnasium since that night, have you?"

"No," I say quietly.

"Or out on the trails?" she asks. I shake my head. "You see? Hieronymous and I have been keeping our eyes on you, and we can see that you are healing. The key here is not pushing yourself too hard, and this is something that Hieronymous insists that you will not be able to do." I drop my eyes and let out a small laugh. "He knows that if we put you in that examination room, you would not give up, that you would fight through whatever we put you through, no matter how traumatic or painful it is. Is he right?"

I bite my lip and nod my head. He really does know me. "He's right."

"You push yourself too hard, dear," she says. "You went through something absolutely terrible. You may never heal from this, not completely." She lowers her voice. "There are certain things in a person's life that they can never fully recover from. For example, you know how he is about Violet." I can't look at her, and she catches the expression on my face. "Oh, come now. You may not be able to mend it completely, but you will be able to at least move on from it. Look at Hieronymous. He has moved on, hasn't he?"

"I think so," I say softly.

"Tori," she says, and I look up at her. "He loves you. You shouldn't question that."

"I don't." I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know, I guess it's just weird to think about. He's the most important person in my life. If she was still alive, we wouldn't even be together."

"Oh, hush now," she says as a look of displeasure crosses her face. "You can't possibly know that. They were very young when they first got together, and couples grow apart as they age all the time. You are fortunate enough to catch him now at a stage in his life when he does know what he wants, and that, it seems, is you." I try to force a smile, but my mind seems to be caught in a loop of endless hypotheticals. "It never serves well to dwell on the past, dear. You could have a bright future ahead of you with him. Embrace it."

"I will," I say quickly. "Thank you, Professor."

"You're quite welcome," she says. "I know Hieronymous can be a handful at times, but he is a very loyal person. You two are a good fit for each other."

"Thank you," I repeat. "So, uh, since I'm not going to take the final, is there anything else I have to do?"

"Well," she says. "Since you seemed so concerned with staying on level footing with your classmates, I am going to assign you an essay." My heart sinks a bit, but I just nod. "Ten pages."

"The topic?" I ask.

"Hmm," she hesitates a moment, thinking it over. "Oh, I know. I want you to give me a ten page paper on green magic and its contraceptive uses."

My face falls. "Professor?"

"Oh come now," she says. "This is something that every young witch must learn at some point or another, and I believe considering now that you are married it is especially important for you to know how to use it, dear."

"I, uh," I hesitate. I have no idea what to say to that. "When do you want me to hand it in?"

"Oh, no rush," she says. "Any time before the end of next week is fine."

"Uh, I will do that," I say slowly. "Thank you, Professor."

I turn around and leave the classroom as fast as possible. Hieronymous and I hadn't even done anything yet, although I supposed that was the point, educating me before we did anything. I immediately rush up to the library and check out three different books on green magic and it's domestic, everyday uses, figuring something in one of these books would have the information that I needed. I could have, of course, just sat there and puzzled through it, but there was no way I was going to be caught in the library reading about contraception, especially when everyone knew I was married to Hieronymous. I was determined to keep the rumor mill turning with gossip related to someone other than me for once.

I slunk back to our room and set myself up at his desk, beginning to work. I was determined to get this done as fast as possible so that Hieronymous would never see this essay. It wasn't so much that I was afraid of him seeing the subject matter as I was afraid he was thinking Professor Potsdam was prying into our private affairs, or worse, that I was talking to her about them. True, my parents had never given me the sex talk, but I wasn't going to talk to Professor Potsdam about it. I actually didn't plan to talk to anyone about it. I figured I was just going to let whatever happened take its course and I would deal with it from there.

But as I studied, I realized that it was probably a good idea that Professor Potsdam gave me this essay after all. Hieronymous' father may have written me last year talking about children, but I was by no means ready to have a child. We hadn't even talked about it, but we had good reason not to. That was a conversation that didn't need to happen for another few years, at the very least. Heck, we hadn't even been intimate yet, and at least I was old enough to know that-

"What are you reading?" I look up quickly to see Hieronymous standing over me, and I snap the book shut as fast as possible.

"What?"

"What are you reading?" he asks again. "You looked extremely pensive."

"Was I?" I raise my eyebrows, trying to look as innocent as possible. He eyes me suspiciously. "I was just reading. A book. For class."

"Oh?" he asks. He steps away from me, taking off his robes, and I take the time to quickly hide my essay before he can see what I'm writing. "What about?"

"Nothing interesting," I reply, as casually as possible. "I mean, nothing that would interest you, really."

"You're a terrible liar," he says. "I've already basically caught you with your hand in the metaphorical cookie jar. Now what will it take for me to draw the truth out of you?"

He bends down to kiss me, and I can immediately see where this is going, but after what I'd been reading, I'm distracted in the worst way possible. "You could always just ask me."

"And you would tell me the truth?" he asks.

"Maybe," I shrug. "If you asked nicely."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asks. He pulls me to my feet as he cups my face in one hand, running the other over my body. Over the past few days, I can tell that he's getting bolder, but I'm still not ready yet. I had set aside a day in my mind and I wanted it to be special. I wanted it to be on that day. Anything else would be too early.

I pull myself away from him and sit on the edge of the bed, facing him. "I talked to Professor Potsdam today." If there was anything I could say to kill the tension between us, it was that. The effect on him is immediate, and I see the look in his eyes jump from hungry to curious in a matter of seconds.

"Concerning?"

"The final," I reply, then decide to test the waters a little bit. "I'm going to take it."

"Tori." Curious to concerned. "I thought I made myself quite clear-"

"Why don't you want me to take it?" I ask. I've asked him this before, but now that I know what the test is about, it'll be at least slightly easier to gauge his reaction.

"Because this test is extremely dangerous," he says as he paces the room. "You will be challenged, not only physically but mentally as well."

"And you don't think I'm up to the challenge?" I ask. "You don't think I'm strong enough?"

"I think you're strong enough," he says, turning to look at me. "But I also know you. You are foolhardy and impetuous and I don't want to see you throw yourself in the midst of danger-" He sees the look on my face and stops pacing. "What?"

"Nothing," I say, unable to wipe the smirk off my face. "It's just cute, that's all."

His nostrils flare in anger. I forgot what he was like when he was mad. "Tori, this is serious. This test is dangerous, especially for you. I have told you time and time again that I don't want you going to that final-"

"So what are you going to do?" I ask. "Tie me up and leave me in here?" He takes a few steps towards me until he's standing directly in front of me, and that's when I realize that I've had the opposite effect of what I intended.

"That's an idea," he says in a soft voice. He runs his fingertips down my bare arms, and I shudder under his touch, desire rising hot inside of me.

"I'm not going to take it," I whisper as he traces my jaw line with his finger.

"Oh no?" he asks. "And I just managed to convince you now? Just like this?"

I look back up at him, scooting backwards on the bed so he can no longer reach me. "Professor Potsdam told me what the test was about. She told me I would see what I was most afraid of, so I can understand what you mean now. I don't want to relive losing my memories, or, or dying, or maybe even losing you." He opens his mouth to speak, but I keep talking.

"She told me what you said, about how I'm stupid enough to fight through whatever it is because I have a tendency of pushing myself too hard. And you're right. I probably would. But I wouldn't want you to have to watch that again. I wouldn't want to do that to you. So I'm taking a page out of your book, and I'm, I'm channeling your wisdom, and I've decided that I'm not going to put myself in that kind of situation again. I'm not going to take the final."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Once she told you what the test was about, you would have been invalidated from taking it regardless."

"And the reason I asked her to explain to me what the test was about was because I had already decided I didn't want to take it," I say. "Because I was listening to you. You were concerned. You were worried about me, and I didn't want to push you-"

"Wait," he says. "So you mean to tell me that when you said a minute ago that you were going to take the final-"

"I just wanted to gauge your reaction," I say sheepishly. "Now that I knew what the test was about and everything."

He narrows his eyes at me. "See?" he asks. "You didn't tell me the truth."

"Well, you didn't ask nicely," I reply. "If you had, you would have known that I asked for an alternative assignment, and Professor Potsdam has asked me to write a paper on the general uses of green magic instead." It sounds convincing enough to my own ears, as it's not technically a lie…

He gets on the bed beside me, and I can feel my heart rise into my throat. "While I am glad you are finally taking my advice," he says in a low voice. "I think I'm going to have to punish you for this."

"You really don't have to," I say quickly.

"I think I do." He moves his body over mine and I can feel myself getting anxious with anticipation as he bends down to whisper in my ear. "I think I'm going to have to tickle you."

"No!" My eyes shoot open as he grabs my stomach, and at first I can't control how my body reacts when he touches me, and I find myself thrusting my hips upwards towards him. He rolls up the bottom of my tank top just a bit to reveal my midriff as he begins his assault, tickling my sides. I laugh, throwing my head back into the pillow, as I try to catch my breath. He grins above me as I gasp and shriek his name, trying to push him off of me.

Finally he stops, pinning my hands above my head as he lowers his face to mine. "So are you going to behave now?"

I grin wickedly as I smile up at him. "Never."