Chapter Thirteen – Whipped
Lauren brought the bike to a stop next to the crack shack, and stared at the dilapidated building with mixed feelings of fascination and horror. She cut the engine, and Bo slowly uncurled her arms from the Doctor's waist.
"Mmm…I like motorcycles." She hummed, dragging her fingertips across Lauren's back before reaching up and removing her helmet. She grinned as she slid jelly-legged off of the bike. "You can take me for a ride anytime, Doc."
Lauren slipped her helmet off and brushed her hair with her fingers. She never took her eyes off of the building; it looked like it should have been condemned and burned to the ground a decade ago. "This is where you live?"
"Yep. Home sweet home."
Lauren walked up to the building and peeked through the boarded windows. "I don't even think I'd need to huff and puff to blow your house down. One tap with a finger ought to do it."
"Not that I'm questioning your finger talents or your ability to blow things, but this place is way more sturdy than it looks." Bo spun around and kicked at the boarded window as hard as she could. It stayed intact, and didn't even splinter. "See?"
Lauren raised an eyebrow. "It looks drafty."
"Eh, you get used to it."
"But what will you do in the wintertime? January in Toronto is damn cold."
Bo frowned. "I don't know. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
"When we come, you mean," Lauren corrected her.
"Huh?"
"The phrase is, 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'. It's come. Come."
"Is that an order or a request?" Bo grinned mischievously.
Lauren groaned and did a facepalm.
"Impressive use of innuendo, right?"
"I'm choosing to ignore you." Lauren bit her cheek to keep from smiling. "On a serious note, you need to be careful in places like this. You run the risk of contracting Hantavirus, Leptospirosis, and Hemorrhagic Fever from vermin droppings, mold sickness from spores in floorboards and walls…"
"What, are you my Doctor now?"
"Let's just say I have a vested interest in keeping your body working at peak physical performance." Lauren winked.
"Nice one, Doc. But you don't have to worry. No mold, no rats, no cockroaches – no pests of any kind except for my roommate. It's really nice on the inside, for a place without walls. And we have a snack machine so…score! Want to come in and see?"
"I can't," Lauren replied. "I'm already running late. I'll take a rain check though…I've never been the houseguest of a couple of squatters."
"Ugh," Bo grimaced, "I hate that word. Squatters. We're more like…domestic freeloaders." Bo walked towards the front door, and Lauren followed. "You're sure you don't want to come in? I can give you a tour. The kitchen, the lounge. The master bedroom." Bo ran her hand up Lauren's arm. "I have these great red satin sheets…you'd look amazing all wrapped up in 'em."
"Really, I can't." Lauren pulled back.
"What's next, then?" Bo tried to hide her disappointment.
"I already have a meeting set up with Hale, Ciara, and Dyson tonight. 8pm sharp, at the Dal. I'll propose bringing you in."
"And Kenzi?"
Lauren sighed. "And Kenzi, if she proves that she can contribute. I don't make these decisions by myself. It's always been a team thing with us. So the others will have to sign off on both of you. Think of this like a job interview. You need to nail it."
Bo grinned. "Nail it?"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Succubus!" Lauren flicked her forehead. "Figure out how to convince them you're a valuable asset or this whole thing will be over before we even get started."
"That would be a real shame." Bo stepped into Lauren's space, and whispered in her ear. "Because I have so much to offer."
"You really don't ever turn yourself off, do you?" Lauren laughed.
"Why turn myself off when it's so much more fun turning you on?" Bo reached down into Lauren's jeans. Bo felt Lauren respond as her aura blazed white hot, but the Doctor simply kissed her on the cheek and backed away. She walked backward toward the bike, staring at the Succubus the entire time with big brown eyes. "I'll see you tonight. Don't be late."
"See you," Bo waved. "And hey, Doc?"
"Yeah?"
"Something for you to think about at work today…" Bo lifted her shirt up, flashing Lauren a quick shot of boobs.
Lauren backed right into her bike. She toppled over the other side and landed on her back with a pathetic, 'oof'.
"HAHAHAHA!" Bo doubled over on her stoop, dying from laughter, clutching her sides to keep from coming apart at the seams as Lauren struggled to disentangle herself from the bike. She shot to her feet and dusted off her jacket.
"I meant to do that!" She shouted.
"Of course you did." Bo managed to choke out between roars. Lauren plunked her helmet on her head to hide the tomato red blush on her cheeks. She revved the engine, drowning out the Succubus' laughter, and tried to maintain some illusion of 'coolness' as she sped away.
"I'm home!" Bo shouted, as she practically skipped into the living room.
"Not so looooud," Kenzi groaned. All Bo could see of her was a boot clad foot hanging over the edge of the couch. "Some of us are trying to die in peace."
Bo grinned and started a pot of coffee. "Rough night?"
"Hard to say. The last thing I remember is doing shots with a banshee…everything gets fuzzy after that. I vaguely remember dancing on the pool table…oh God, I think there was a Britney Spears song involved." Kenzi's face contorted into an expression of horror. "What are the chances that everyone at the Dal last night caught amnesia and forgot I was ever there?"
"Slim to none." Bo sat next to her. "Besides, with cell phone cameras you're probably up on YouTube by now. You're going to be a celebrity. Congratulations." Bo leaned over and kissed Kenzi's forehead. "Oh…wow…you reek like cheap vodka."
"I'm Russian…that's our natural fragrance. We sweat fermented potatoes. It's like pheromones for alcoholics." Kenzi rolled over.
"First of all, ew, second of all, I think it's time to stage an intervention. Someone as tiny as you shouldn't be putting down so much booze every other night."
"You feed on sex. I feed on alcohol." Kenzi finally forced herself into a sitting position, her pink wig askew. She licked her bone dry lips and narrowed her eyes at Bo. "Speaking of feeding, you're looking pretty 'full' this morning."
Bo grinned.
"Let me guess…that sexy Romanian incubus, Aurelian?"
"Nope."
"Probably for the best. If you two hooked up the headboard banging might knock the Earth off its axis and throw us into the Faepocalypse." Kenzi yawned. "Was it that rich Loki asshole, Ryan?"
"Nope."
"You're too good for him anyway." Kenzi said. "Did you finally figure out how to recycle your own chi through uber masturbation?"
"No, but I haven't given up on that yet."
"Well, I'm out of ideas then. Who was the lucky victim?"
Bo's smile widened. "I spent the night with Lauren."
"Oh, thank GOD. It's about damn time." Kenzi patted Bo's cheeks. "Mopey, sexually frustrated Bo is my least favorite Bo. So…how was it?"
"It was…good." Bo got up and nonchalantly walked to the kitchen.
"Are you for real? That's it? All I've been hearing about with you for the last couple of weeks is Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, you finally seal the deal with her and all you'll tell me is that it was 'good'? I call bullshit!"
"Okay, fine." Bo grinned as she poured Kenzi a cup. "It was – incredible. That woman knows how to keep a girl satisfied. And those fingers…"
"On second thought, I don't need the details." Kenzi frowned, as Bo rejoined her on the couch and handed her a steaming mug of coffee. "Are you going to see her again?"
"Actually, we are going to see her tonight."
Kenzi sighed. "Listen Bo, I know you want all up in this hotness but I already told you I don't roll that way. Besides, threesomes are not as sexy as they're made out to be. Someone always ends up on the ass end, and someone always gets jealous, and then everyone's feelings get hurt and you can't even talk to the guys anymore because things are awkward, and screwing your friends ends up screwing your friendships."
Bo raised an eyebrow. "You know this from personal experience?"
"…no…" Kenzi cradled her coffee mug and took a sip.
"Uh huh. I wasn't even talking about a threesome, you little freak. We're meeting Lauren at the Dal tonight. Her, and the rest of the Doc Squad."
"Why the hell would we do that?"
"She thinks we should work together. She wants us to join her team."
Kenzi spit her coffee back into the mug. "Shit, Bo! She has you whipped already."
"I'm not whipped!"
"You are! Since when do you join teams and pick sides? You're the dictionary definition of 'indecisive'."
"This is purely a business move."
"Apparently business, as in 'none of mine' since you didn't even bother to call and ask me what I thought about it."
"Listen, it makes sense. If we're constantly competing against them for jobs, it'll cut in to our profits."
"Guess what, math genius? Splitting a take six ways is gonna cut into our profits too." Kenzi threw her hands up. "If you're afraid of a little competition, let's just pack up our shit and move somewhere else."
"I'm sick of moving. I like it here, and I want to stay."
"Because you're whipped." Kenzi snapped an imaginary whip. "Whhpssshhh."
"Stop that."
"Whhpssshhh!"
"Kenzi!"
"Whpsh." Kenzi flicked her wrist. Bo glared back. She lifted her hands next to Kenzi's ear, and clapped them together as hard as she could. The sound tore through Kenzi's brain like a dagger.
"Oh….my hangover!" She groaned and slid to the floor.
"I warned you," Bo said.
"That was mean." Kenzi covered her eyes with her hand.
"Aren't you tired of being a gypsy, Kenz? If we stay here, we'll make enough money to pay back what we owe in no time. But I won't make the decision for both of us. You're my best friend, and I'll only take the gig if you're in it with me." Bo held out her hand to help Kenzi up.
"Playing the BFF card, huh? I see how it is." Kenzi frowned. "You really want to play with the Doctor?"
"Yes. A lot."
Kenzi grumbled, but she allowed Bo to pull her back up onto the couch. "You aren't going to get all clingy and relationship-y are you? Because I'll vomit on your shoes."
"I promise, this is not a relationship thing. This is a work thing, and a sex thing."
"A work thing and a sex thing." Kenzi sighed. "Fine. I'm in. But don't expect me to get freaky with Cujo, Tweety Bird or Princess Sparkle."
Bo stared at Kenzi, and shook her head. "Oh, they are just going to loooooove you."
Lauren tossed her jacket and bag on the lab table, and grabbed her trusty clipboard and pen. She didn't realize there was someone else in the lab until she heard Dyson's familiar "Ahem." She turned toward her desk, where the Shifter sat in her chair, his muddy feet propped up on her mahogany desk, looking every bit the bad dog.
"Where have you been?" He inquired, amused. He didn't really need to ask…he knew exactly where she'd been. He could smell the Succubus on Lauren's clothes. But Dyson enjoyed giving Lauren a hard time at every possible opportunity.
"Around," Lauren shrugged.
"Uh huh." Dyson grinned. "Just around? Not over, or under, or…"
Lauren threw her pen at him. "Do you want a play-by-play of my sex life, you pervy old man?"
"Not at all. Just don't ever think you can hide anything from me. The nose knows." He leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "And have some respect, I'm old enough to be your great great great great great great..."
Lauren held up a hand. "I'm just gonna stop you right there." She pushed his feet off the desk. "Have you made any progress on the Naia murder?"
Dyson sighed. "No. We went through Trick's phone book and interviewed every single Fire Fae that passed through the region in the last few years, but all of them had an alibi. Whoever killed Naia, they didn't check in at the way station."
"Use your common sense, Dyson. If a Fae is coming to town to kill a man and steal a priceless artifact, he's not going to announce his presence to the whole city."
"Well what did you find out, Doogie Howser?"
"The burn scars are…wait," Lauren grinned, "you know who Doogie Howser is?"
"I watch TV sometimes," Dyson said, defensively. "Does that surprise you?"
"It does. I thought you spent all your free time running naked through the forest, howling at the moon and chasing your tail."
Dyson winked. "Only on the weekends. Now, impress me with your mad coroner skills."
Lauren tapped her clipboard, and slid easily into Doctor mode. "No incendiary device was used, so we can state with 98% certainty that the killer was Fae. Based on the burn signature and severity, we can safely assume that our assailant was not an Aosaginohi, a Kapre, a Surtr or a Lampad."
"So…what was it?"
"Unfortunately I still don't know. But at least we've ruled out a sizeable chunk of the Fire Fae population."
"These people are making us look foolish," Dyson muttered. "We could really use a win right now. Hell, I'd settle for a tie at this point."
"You'd be surprised by how fulfilling a tie can be." Lauren grinned at her private joke. "Do you have any leads on a job? You know…outside work? A little moonlighting gig?"
"Possibly," Dyson said. "We'll talk about it at the Dal tonight."
"How difficult of a job, on a scale of one to ten?"
"An eight, at least. It's a tough one."
"My favorite kind," Lauren rubbed her hands in anticipation.
"On the subject of favorites." Dyson pulled out a paper bag, "Submitted for your approval, one blueberry Danish. Food for the body and mind."
Lauren snatched the bag and opened it, inhaling the sweet smell of dough and cream cheese. "Mmmmm. Dyson I love you, did you know that? How will I ever repay you?"
Dyson stood, and straightened his vest. "Find out what killed Arthur Naia, and your pastry debt is paid. I'll see you tonight." He clapped her on the shoulder and left her alone in the lab with her lunch.