Chapter 19 – International Women of Mystery

"Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod," Bo muttered to herself as she stared out the window, fingers in a death grip on her armrests.

"Are you okay?" Lauren asked, with concern.

"Yes," Bo squeaked out, even though it was plain to anyone with two eyes and two ears that she was anything but okay. Lauren observed tiny droplets of sweat forming on Bo's forehead, and the ragged nature of her breath. Classic signs of a panic attack.

"Bo…"

"The plane is pointing down." Bo turned to Lauren. "Why?"

For some reason, Lauren found Bo's palpable fear to be highly amusing. This amazing, stubborn, proud woman in front of her was turning into a scared little girl. Lauren answered, in her most calming bedside manner. "The plane is losing altitude because we're coming in for a landing. This is all completely normal."

"I don't like it." Bo's legs began to shake.

The pilot's voice rang through the cabin. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now beginning our final descent into Barcelona-El Prat Airport. Temperature on the ground is 24 degrees Celsius, 75 Fahrenheit. Unfortunately there are thunderstorms in the area, so expect a bumpy ride in…"

Lauren sighed. That wouldn't make things any easier for Bo.

"The seatbelt sign is now on, and we ask that all passengers return their seat backs and trays to their full, upright positions. Thank you for flying with us."

The plane tilted down at a more pronounced angle, and Bo whimpered. She turned away from the Doctor, so Lauren wouldn't see the look on her face. With another whimper, she realized that looking away from Lauren meant looking out the window at what was now a diagonal horizon. She finally gave up and closed her eyes.

"Is this your first time on a plane?" Lauren asked.

Bo nodded.

"But you were okay up until now. Even with the takeoff?"

Bo nodded again.

"You just don't like the idea of landing."

Nod. Again.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Because you're going to laugh at me."

The petulant, pouty way Bo said it nearly made Lauren do just that. The fact that a badass, leather-wearing, knife-wielding Succubus could be afraid of anything was pretty incredible, and somehow a relief. Lauren slid her hands down her own cheeks, to push her smiling facial muscles down into a more neutral expression. "I promise I won't laugh."

Bo slowly turned to the Doctor, with a mixed expression of horror and nervousness. Just then, the plane hit a patch of turbulence and lurched sideways. Bo closed her eyes and whimpered.

"It's okay, Bo. This is all normal. Trust me." Lauren stroked Bo's cheek, hoping to calm her down. "You have a better chance of being bitten by a wyvern than dying in a plane crash."

Bo's eyes shot open with fear. "But I have been bitten by a wyvern!"

Lauren balked. "You have not."

"Yeah, I have! I met this rich Fae guy at a bar, we went back to his penthouse apartment, and we started fooling around. He had a miniature wyvern as a pet, and wyverns are really protective and this one was young and confused, and he must have thought I was attacking the guy because I was straddling him – I felt this horrible pain in my calf, looked down and saw a scaly dragon-y freak of nature attached to my leg."

"But wyverns are endangered! And poisonous…"

"Yeah, no shit. I had to chi suck the guy almost to death to heal from it – and that was AFTER I used most of my energy trying to detach a squealing lizard monster and his three inch fangs from my leg."

Lauren allowed a choked laugh to escape. She couldn't help it.

"It's not funny."

"It is, though." Lauren grinned. "You have had a very interesting life."

The plane gave another lurch, and Bo resumed her death grip on the chair. "An interesting life that's about to end, I know it," Bo muttered. Lauren reached over and, one by one, pried Bo's fingers from the arm rest – no mean feat for as strong as Bo was. Lauren found out just how strong when another patch of turbulence caused Bo to grip her hand like a vice, cracking all of Lauren's knuckles at once. She winced in pain, but didn't make a sound.

"So I guess my statistical comparisons weren't very helpful to you," Lauren thought out loud.

"Not really," Bo breathed. "I need a distraction. Tell me a story."

"A story?" Lauren replied, bemused. Apparently fear turned Bo into a five year old. "You mean like Little Red Riding Hood? Dyson doesn't like that one, do you know that? He thinks it gives wolves a bad name…"

"No, no." Bo shook her head. "Tell me something about you."

Lauren rubbed her thumb over the back of Bo's hand. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Anything you want to tell me." Bo sucked in a breath as the plane tilted further down. "And don't stop talking until we land."

Lauren frowned slightly, trying to think of something to say.

Apparently, the pause was to long for Bo. "I don't care what comes out of your mouth, just start talking, please," she whined.

"Okay, okay," Lauren said, flustered and at a loss. "I uh…uh…I like pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, but that's not a story…um…I always use a paper towel to sponge the excess grease off the top though…do you know that the grease on a pizza can build up within your system in the span of just...never mind." Lauren bit her lip. "Um…new topic. Oh, okay! I own sixteen different lab coats. I have a favorite one that I wear for good luck when I have a major procedure coming up. There's a tiny stain on the front left pocket – gastric acid from the third stomach of a Bonnacon. He was my first successful Fae surgery." Lauren chuckled at the memory. "A Bonnacon is an Under Fae with large, protruding horns, like a bull. He had a blockage in his large intestine – but the trouble with Bonnacons is that they emit burning feces. Because of the blockage he was literally roasting his insides."

Bo's mouth hung open. "I ask you to tell me a story, and you tell me about flaming Fae poop?"

"Like I said, he was the first Fae I successfully operated on. It was only my third day on the job. The Ash had given me two months to study up on Fae-kind, and thrown me right into the thick of it. I'll have you know, that was one of the proudest moments of my life thank you very much."

"How did you end up working for the Fae in the first place?"

"That is too long a story for what's left of the plane ride."

Bo frowned. "Okay. Fine. What else ya got?"

Lauren glanced back across the aisle at the still slumbering Siren. "The first time I met Hale, he almost killed me."

"What?"

"It was an accident. I was dropping off an autopsy report at the police station. It was late, and Hale was the only one in the office. I opened the door. He was whistling the tune to 'Take My Breath Away' by Berlin. You know that song? From Top Gun? Tom Cruise? Aviator sunglasses? 'I feel the need…the need for speed'?"

Bo shook her head, slowly.

"You should watch it sometime. 80s classic. Anyway, Hale must have really been getting into the lyrics behind the song, and not paying attention to anything else around him, because I felt my airway start to constrict and I suddenly found it impossible to breathe. He was literally taking my breath away. I can tell you that despite what you may have heard, there's nothing romantic about sudden respiratory failure. I tried to shout for him but he had his headphones in, naturally. I managed to crawl over to the fire alarm and yank it before I passed out. He heard that, and stopped whistling, my oxygen intake was restored, and all was well. Of course, as soon as I had recuperated enough to move, I punched him in the face. Since then we have an agreement that he won't whistle in front of me, even though he often forgets."

Bo stared at Lauren, mouth agape. "Death by 80s music. Huh. It…sort of makes sense. I think I'd rather take a shot to the head than suffer through 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go'." The plane lurched; Bo squeezed Lauren's hand – although not as tightly this time.

"Me too. It's not all bad though. My first kiss was to an 80s song." Lauren blushed and looked down at her hands, surprised at herself for blurting out that particular fact.

Bo was instantly interested. "Yeah?"

"Yep. I was fourteen. Eighth grade. We went ice skating. The song was 'I Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore' by REO Speedwagon. Classic."

Bo's grin was so wide it almost stretched from ear to ear.

"What?" Lauren ventured, seeing the look on the Succubus' face.

"I'm just trying to picture you at fourteen."

Lauren threw back her head and laughed. "Picture the nerdiest girl you've ever seen, then multiply that by ten. That was me, in junior high school."

Bo reached up and ran a hand along Lauren's perfect jawline. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. I had braces, stringy hair, acne. Teacher's pet. Nose always in a book."

"I wasn't much better," Bo offered. "My parents had me in braids and frumpy clothes until I got to high school. I looked like an Amish girl. I didn't discover leather until senior year. Anyway, it's probably for the best that our paths didn't cross. I might have chi sucked you to death before I learned control."

"Doubtful. If you had met me back then, you wouldn't have even looked twice at me." Lauren grinned. "But I would have noticed you. I probably would have watched you in math class, from the other side of the room, chewing on my pencil and writing 'Mrs. Dennis-Lewis' in my day planner, with sad, lonely little hearts dotting the 'i's," Lauren joked.

Bo rolled her eyes. "Like we would be in the same math class. You'd be in calculus, while I was still trying to perfect one plus one."

"It's two," Lauren added, helpfully.

"Yeah, thanks."

"I would have volunteered to tutor you," Lauren said, enjoying this game and this conversation immensely. "You could come over to my place. We could go upstairs to my room, put Ace of Base on my CD player, lay all our papers and books out on the floor, and do math. As long as you didn't make fun of my X-Files posters or my Power Rangers figurines."

"Are you kidding? Who'd make fun of you for that? The pink one is haaaaaawt."

Lauren narrowed her eyes at Bo, sure the other woman was pulling her leg. As she did so, she glanced over Bo's shoulder, out the window. She could tell they were only a few minutes from landing. Evidently Bo was sufficiently distracted.

The Succubus smiled. "I don't know if we'd get around to doing much math, though."

"Of course we would. I take my academics very seriously. I am a strict disciplinarian."

"And I am a very attentive listener. Up to a point. But eventually I'm going to be distracted by those lips of yours, all thick and full over your braces," Bo teased.

"And the whole time I'm repeating the periodic table of elements in my head, to keep from wondering what sexually repressed Amish girls wear under their dresses."

The floor vibrated beneath them as the pilot lowered the landing gear. Bo didn't even notice. "You have an awfully dirty mind for a fourteen year old."

"I am a precocious, budding scientist with a healthy interest in human anatomy, whose parents have recently subscribed to the Cinemax channel," Lauren countered. "That's all."

"A precocious geek is no match for a teenage Succubus and her raging hormones. If I say we're done studying, we're done studying." Bo leaned in closer.

"And what if my parents are home?"

"They aren't," Bo whispered.

"What if my cat's watching?"

"It isn't."

Lauren grinned. "What if I'm a bad kisser?"

"You won't be." Bo's lips were only millimeters from Lauren's now.

"Bo?"

"Yeah?"

Lauren's eyes flicked to the window, then back. "Brace yourself."

"For what?"

Lauren carefully but firmly placed her free arm in front of Bo, like a roller coaster lap bar. "We're landing."

Before Bo even had time to freak out the wheels had already touched down and the plane was rolling along the runway. Lauren bit her lip as Bo dug into her forearm, leaving what would surely be two perfect handprint-shaped bruises on her skin. But if that was the price she had to pay to be Bo's safety net, then so be it. The pilot applied the brakes, and the plane slowed to a crawl, taxi-ing toward the gate.

"Ladies and gentleman, the pilot has left the fasten seatbelt sign on. Please remain in your seats until the plane has arrived at the gate and come to a complete stop. You may now use your mobile phones. We hope you enjoyed your flight with us today, and we look forward to serving you again in the future. Gracias and thank you for choosing Iberian Airlines."

Lauren watched as the flight attendant returned her radio to its position on the wall. She wondered, vaguely, where one might procure an Iberian Airlines flight attendant uniform, and what Bo might look like wearing it.

These are the things you think to yourself, and do not say aloud.

"Bo?" Lauren dipped her head down, to look in Bo's eyes. She was staring forward, pale as a ghost, still with a death grip on Lauren's arm. Lauren gently shook her shoulders. "Bo, we're good. We're safe, and on the ground. You can let go of me now." Bo slowly inched her head toward Lauren. Her fingers snapped open, releasing the Doctor's arm.

"I'm still alive, right?"

Lauren chuckled, and placed two fingers to the pulse point on Bo's neck. "Yep. Alive and kicking, at one hundred twenty beats per minute. That heart rate will slow down, I'm sure. If it doesn't, let me know." Lauren rubbed what remained of her crushed radial and ulna.

Bo let out an exhale that, by Lauren's count, lasted almost thirty seconds. Bo must have had the lung capacity of a racehorse.

Lauren already knew she had the stamina.

"Aaaaaaaaahhh," Hale stretched, and happily yawned from across the aisle. "Nothing for a good night's sleep like first class, baby." He opened his eyes, where Bo, still in fear-induced robotic mode, turned to him with wide eyes. "Well hey there, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting," Bo replied.

"She doesn't like to fly," Lauren explained. "I'm just helping her out."

"Where's Kenzi?"

"Sleeping. In coach."

"You left her there all by herself? That's cold."

"She probably slept the whole time. She didn't miss me at all." Bo shrugged. They reached the gate, and the plane came to a stop. The seat belt sign turned off.

"Bo-freakin'-Dennis!" They heard a shout from the coach cabin, as the curtain was yanked off the rod and one very upset human burst through, followed by a fussing but clearly outmatched Flight Attendant Deb. "What. The. Hellz? I wake up and you're gone? A. That's rude. B. How was I supposed to know what happened to you?" Kenzi slapped Deb away with her hand. Deb gave up and returned back to coach in a huff.

Lauren frowned. "It's a plane. Where did you think she could have gone?"

"You shut up!" Kenzi silenced Lauren with a finger in her face. "For all I know, there's some kind of Under Fae that lives in airplane toilets and sucks people in with their freakishly powerful vacuuming flush."

"There is something similar," Lauren replied. "It's called the 'arachnis gluteus'. It's about the size of your thumb. It thrives at high altitudes and lurks in bathrooms, waiting for its victims. All it takes is one bite. You experience a sudden onset of high fever, vomiting, and muscular breakdown. In forty seconds, all that's left of your body is a pile of dust. They're very rare, but they do exist."

Kenzi paused, staring at the doctor. "You're shitting me."

"Am I?" Lauren grinned, and stood up to retrieve her carry-on bag.

"Oh my God." Kenzi froze, in horror. "I can never use a public bathroom again."

"Kenzi." Bo rolled her eyes, stepping out into the aisle behind Lauren. "Use your brain." She knocked lightly on her friend's forehead, before turning back to the Doctor. She put her hands on Lauren's hips, and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Thank you for all the in-flight entertainment, Doc."

"Anytime." Lauren grinned back at the Succubus. The jet bridge connected to the airplane, the flight attendants opened the doors, and started waving passengers through. Hale was first, Lauren and Bo followed. "Come on," Lauren nodded toward the exit. "Let's go play international women of mystery."

"I do like the sound of that." Bo practically skipped as they left the plane behind, entered the terminal, passed under a sign reading 'Bienvenidos a Barcelona', and headed toward baggage claim. "World travelers, and international women of mystery. Sex-ay."